We can't all be everybody's heroes. Sometimes we are just going to rub people the wrongest of wrong ways.
Life is just like that. No matter how well-intentioned you are, you are not for all markets. Sometimes, it even goes further into the wrongest of wrong places, and you become the villain of that person's life.
Chances are it's happened to you once before.
Here were some of those answers.
How To Be Suspicious Of Others
Okay this my accidental bullying story. I had been bullied in middle school and was determined to never let it happen in high school. I thought I could identify a bully from their look and general behavior. One girl in my class was a potential bully for me and I kept my guard up to her. One day I was talking to a group of friends of mine and she came to us and asked 'what are you doing here?'
I chimed in before anyone else could speak and said. 'We're just talking.' and she said ' can I join?' I literally thought she was gonna make fun of us about the things we were talking about and said 'We're talking as friends.' and she asked 'Am I not your friend?'
And I looked into her eyes in a stern face said with my coldest voice 'No, you are not our friend.' and she just left. It dawned on me later that she was just trying to become friends with us and I was straight-up mean girled her.
Not. Even. Once.
I was hired directly into a shift manager position in a hardware store once. I felt I never stood a chance. The last manager was apparently the worlds biggest ahole, and that aholery just got assigned to me by default...
And when people treat you like sh*t every single day, from day one, it gets hard to keep up 'pro-social behaviour' after a while.
I couldn't do anything right, and the worst part was setting up the shifts. Anyone who has worked retail with long opening hours probably knows what I am talking about.
It is impossible to make everyone happy, but I tried my very best and spent much more time setting up next month's shifts than reasonable. Going back and forth correcting and changing hours...
The challenge with this team was that even though most of them got all their requests, they would team up with whoever got the 'sh*ttiest' list and berate me with it constantly. Didn't matter that I was trying to even this over time. I was an absolute ahole to the person who was least satisfied with his shifts.
Over time I became more and more hostile towards them, to the point that I just couldn't do it anymore. I just called in one day saying I just won't show up any more.
Some managers might be born like aholes that, but sure as hell is possible to create one too...
Shift manager is retail is probably one of the worst job out there. You get flack from both over and under you relentlessly, and when you do everything right nobody notices. It is so draining.
Retail manager. Not even once.
OKAY WOW NOPE
My turn: in 5th grade I flirted with a girl that I liked. In 5th grade boy language that meant teasing. Nothing gross or mean but just jokes and stuff. I think she knew I liked her because she would joke back and sometimes it would just be us talking in the playground.
One day the teasing wasn't appreciated and I could tell she was in a bad mood. Kinda grouchy and no fun.
I guess I said something and then she grabbed my hair and said I was a jerk. So I pulled her hair. And her whole wig came off in front of everyone.
She had cancer. She felt bad that day. I teased too far. And finally, I exposed her cancer and loss of hair to the whole school.
I really liked her. She stopped coming to school the next week and died the next year.
To this day, 45 years later I still feel the guilt and shame of having made someone else feel that terrible.
It can be so accidental that we don't even really realize we are doing it in the moment.
You're THAT Guy
Went back to visit my high school the year after graduating. While I was there, I bumped into a guy who had been in my year, but didn't graduate with me.
Without thinking about it, I blurted out, "Oh, you're still here!"
Felt like a real d!ck about it.
Do The Scrambled Eggs
At the end of freshman year in college I was going to room with a new friend for the upcoming year. Except in the coming months it turns out she was very toxic and a compulsive liar and I knew my mental health would suffer if I lived with her.
So at the last minute I decided to stay with my original roommate.
So I ditched the "friend" and she was left scrambling to find a new roommate. I know it wasn't a great thing for me to do, but it was self preservation. She never forgave me and we didn't speak again after that.
You Got Scurry Gurl
I had a crush on this guy in high school. I'm not trying to make excuses for myself, but due to some pretty awful experiences I had a rather shaky understanding of consent - basically assumed that all men wanted to have sex with me and it was my job to seduce them properly. I was also just creepy, socially inept, and not very self-aware. That set the stage for the following:
- I sent him a love letter. When that didn't work, I sent him about 50 pages of handwritten love poems. That also didn't work
- I thought the reason he didn't want to was because he didn't think I was dedicated enough to him so I continued to emphasize to him every day that I liked him. That also didn't work
- I happened to be assigned to his group on a group project and found out that his house was in walking distance from the school. I happily informed him that I had memorized the route to his house and he was extremely upset about that.
- I finally got frustrated and started stealing his stuff and making him chase me to get it back
He graduated a year ahead of me and blocked me on everything and it still took me 3-4 years to realize how much of an insanely creepy stalker I used to be. I wanted to apologize but he never answered my contact attempts and I found out recently that he died in a car accident last year.
Boss Boss Boss
Dude at work. I find him incompetent. I'm not his boss, but in the org structure I am technically above him.
His product is failing and he might end up indirectly working for me. I know he hates me.
I try to be nice but I have such a hard time sugarcoating incompetence. To be honest he barely registers. I'm trying to fix it, but not trying that hard.
I feel like in work terms I'm his villain.
Also, people do make unconscious comparisons in their mind that cast us as the villains.
Met a girl in high school and we hit it off super well. It was like we'd always known each other. Became best friends pretty quickly and during one of our gab sessions she asked if I'd ever had a boyfriend.
So I said no, but told her about the time a guy I considered a good friend had become romantically interested in me and bombarded me with all kinds of gifts on Valentine's Day the previous year. I said it was completely unexpected and I'd had to turn him down because I didn't at all think of him in that way.
During the course of my tale she'd become very quiet and I asked what was wrong.
It turned out that the guy was her brother and he had been devastated when I turned him down. He was so broken up about it she swore to destroy me if she ever met me.
Do I Know You?
Back in high school I went to summer camp.
That was pretty cool, I liked it, new friends and stuff.
At the last day we threw a party, and a dude I barely said one or two words during all the time, nothing special, just small talk, approached me and said he was happy to meet me DESPITE I BULLIED HIM all the time.
It was, like, WHAAAAT? Still have no idea what did he mean, but I guess, that story belongs here.
Oh Honey Not The Sheep
Back in college I realized I was gay and started dating a woman we'll call Debby. I went home for thanksgiving and told my parents. They had been my biggest supporters and felt this was a betrayal of everything they had raised me to be, and threw me out.
Ungrateful, immoral daughter, defying her parents with a reprobate lifestyle that probably involves having sex with sheep? Check.
Back on campus there was a guy who'd been interested in me. I chased him down and had sex with him to make myself be straight. It didn't work. I used him and broke his heart. Heartless.
I started drinking. I took it all out on Debby, and broke her heart too.
It's been years. I'm sober now, in therapy, and married to a wonderful woman. I don't blame myself like I used to, but that was a sh*tty year, and I was an epic villain in three separate but related stories.
An Honest Mistake
I lined up to buy food behind a woman who was ordering. As I walked up I saw two other people, one was a woman standing off to the side who received her food as I arrived, the other was a man in a wheelchair who was next to her. Based on where he was located he also looked like he was waiting for food.
The woman finished ordering and went to stand off to the side, I stepped up to order and heard 'hi' from next to me. I looked over and the man in the wheelchair is just staring at me. I gave him a weird look because (I swear to god), he had almost identical features to a friend of mine who I knew for a fact had just moved to a different state the week before. Thrown by this and his single 'hi' I just awkwardly said hi back and then ordered.
Turns out he hadn't ordered yet and I was unintentionally queue jumping. I know that I didn't mean it and honestly thought, based on where he was when I came in, that he'd already ordered, and the face thing was just a bizarre coincidence, but there's no way I'm not the villain in his disabled people get treated like they're invisible/get stared at by people story.
Flirty Flirt Flirt
When I was about 15 there was this girl that came to my church who was 16, I had a massive crush on her and it wasn't any secret. we'd spend pretty much the entire church day hanging out and flirting any chance we got. I'd asked her out several times and each time "I only date guys that are older than me" or "maybe when you're a bit older", ok whatever.
Thing is, she used to invite her current boyfriends to church, and then flirt with me outrageously the entire time. Almost always the relationship would end between them later that day.
It's A Love Story, Baby Just Say No
2 stories here.
- Last school year, I was into this girl (hereby referred to as S). Me and S were good friends. We were always together at almost all times. We would always be deep in conversation about some nerdy stuff. Then, one day, I decided to tell S how I felt. She shot me down, but in a polite way, so, not too affected and I kept my head up. Then, come around Christmas, I learn that S thought I was a creepy, obsessive, stalking liar and I was crushed. I had what I had perceived as nothing, and then a train hit me. Fast forward to now, we never talk, I am blocked, and all the good times are gone. I am also friends with somwone she does not like, so that doesn't help my case either. I felt so guilty, I believed her and accepted that I was a bad guy.
- Earlier this school year, I was at it again. I was trying my luck with another girl (now known as K from here on out), and struck gold. K and I hit it off and we started going out. K was a sheltered person, and we only ever really saw each other at school. About halfway through our relationship, I learned K waa not fully ok in her head. I thought, ok, but I still love her, so what of it? She would have breakdowns. (Also I learned that 2 months ago, she was in a mental hospital). She was also one of those girls that was like "I want you to f@%k me", and I have no interst in sex. And that made me realize she probably would be happier with someone who would be willing to do that. In the last days of our relationship, she pretty much ghosted me completely. We went out for a month and a half and split on Halloween. We barely ever talk now and I have no idea what she thinks of me, so I must assume the worst. She is in another relationship, and I am happy for her, but she made me realize no matter how much I may want it, I will never be ready for love. I am also a really clingy person, and I held on too close and after the seperation, I became a ghost of my former self. I am still trying to fully open back up.
With both of these stories, I feel like I am a villian, and to be honest, I am probably right. Sorry for the wall of text that puts the walls of Attack on Titan to shame, but this is the first time I have been fully able to vent this, even though none of you actually know me. Thank you for reading, I feel a little better finally saying all of this.
I bullied a girl in high school. I was a very insecure, confused, dumb high school girl.
This girl dated my ex and while I really didn't care (I had broken up with him months before) I felt like I was supposed to be mean to her. And trust me, it makes me cringe to this day. He didn't go to our school and this girl and I weren't friends, but she would always make a point to talk to me about him. Not in a bad way, just because it was common ground I guess.
But I bullied her and she actually ended up marrying a good friend of mine and ten years later I still see her around and we're both friendly to each other but to this day I can't even hardly look at her in the face because I feel like such a piece of sh*t.
This happened tonight: I was driving home, and there was a car just parked out in the street in front of a seafood place, just standing in the street with its hazards on. I sat there behind it for a few minutes until the car's owner came out of the seafood place with their takeout.
I honked, and she yelled at me "I have my f*cking hazards on!" Clearly, this woman who thinks that her hazard lights are a "park anywhere" button thinks I'm a villain.
A Is Toxique
Two of my friends (let's call them A and B) were "breaking up" and A told me to choose a side. I chose A, even though their fights didn't have anything to do with me and B hadn't done anything wrong to me.
B apologized to me (even though they had no need to) and asked if I wanted to still hang out. I said no and pretty much ghosted them after that. It's been over a decade but I still feel terrible about it. I should have just told A to leave me out of it.
What fun would our lives be without a little villainy? And honestly, if you're living your life in such a way where you never cross someone the wrong way, you're doing it wrong.
Life isn't just divided into heroes and villains.