People Share The Unwritten Rules Of A Nude Beach
Photo by Yoann Boyer on Unsplash

I've never understood the purpose of a nude beach.

Sand is already a nuisance with clothes.

And... I'm not a fan of bodies just naked everywhere.

But I have a friend who lives for them.

They're freeing to him.

So as long as people are happy, I say to each their own.

I'll be at my pool with the fresh chlorine.

Redditor Dazzling_Atmosphere1 wanted to chat about all the things we MUST know when visiting a naked beach. They asked:

"What are some unwritten rules at a nude beach?"

I've never been to a nude beach. I've barely been to a beach. The sun is too hot and the sand too sandy. But y'all enjoy.


gross dumb and dumber GIF Giphy

"Don't walk up to where me and my wife are sunbathing and stand in front of her. It's not cool."



"Sunscreen, at regular intervals, on everything."


"I was an 19 year old redhead at the nude beach; let me tell you what, the penis is the least of your concerns. Tops of your feet, butt crack and your hip bones. One Eyed Willy will be just fine."


"Can I emphasize on 'everything.'"


Oh Sandy...

"Try not to get sand in your vagina."


"Good Lord you just reminded me that me and my cringy friends in high school formed a band. The name of said band? Sand in my Vagina."


"No lie, a lady in my town who writes for the local paper is named Sandy C**ch. I don't know how she's done it."



"Don't say, 'Who's your friend with the small penis?'"


"My father loves to tell the story when he took me to the sauna when I was like 7 (in Germany we go naked) and I asked him, very loudly, 'why does that man have such a small penis?'"



imacelebau behave GIF by I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! Australia Giphy

"Don't try to pick somebody's pocket."


Don't steal. Rule #1. Why do people have or be like that?


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"Don’t do anything you already wouldn’t do at a regular beach."



"Don’t assume they’re horny just because it’s a nude beach. Even if you do, don’t act on it."


"I usually go to a nude beach because it's closer and I don't mind it (people do whatever there) but there's always at least one tent trembling there so I refuse to believe that. I mean, I say tent but it's sticks holding 4 towels up. U can always see the feet under it or a head popping out. Before you ask more questions, Idk and I don't care, I'd just go to the further away and be at peace."


Look Away

"Don't stare. That's actually good advice no matter the situation."


"That is precisely why I've never gone to a nude beach because I would just stare at everyone, male or female. It baffles me that masse public nudity was once, in ancient times, considered acceptable. Edit: I DO NOT think it's wrong! It's just a culture shock and different for me. Sorry for the misunderstanding everyone!"


Mind Yourself...

"Alright so you've got two major ones. Generally each beach has different rules, depending on the community that inhabits it; but usually they're very commonplace. Typical beach rules always apply; use sunscreen, swim safe, etc."

"Mind yourself. You're not the only one at the beach, and typically are not the only one out of their skivvies. Mind yourself and be respectful of others, and you will fit in fine."

"No sexual intercourse. You will often find people messing around in the dunes, no doubt. However, it's generally frowned upon to do so. Not to mention beach sex is only good in theory."



hush GIF by Laugh Factory Giphy

"Avoid shouting "AROOOOGA!" with your eyes popping out of your head and tongue rolling out onto the floor like a fruit roll. It's considered impolite."


So keep these rules close when you find yourself naked at a beach.

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