All work and no play can make any job unbearable.
While working in a grooming salon, we were technically not allowed to be affectionate with the canine clients that came in. The rules never stopped my coworkers and I from cuddling and kissing all of the cute pups though!
Reddit users were honest about times they were less than professional, and had some great answers for u/ineedanswersss15's question... "What's the most unprofessional thing you've done at work?"
20. A wholesome game
"I used to work the night (6.30 till 9.30pm) shift at an adult school while I was at uni. It was mostly just so people could learn basic French, Spanish, art etc. Me and the other guy working there had very little to do other than ensure classes ran smoothly, teachers received and returned registers and the like.
When we got bored of the internet, and it was before smartphones were everywhere, so we started developing increasingly elaborate treasure hunts for the next days staff to uncover. We started building in dead ends where obvious,but wrong, solutions would take you down 3 more clues to be told you'd messed up.
Before I left I got told by my manager that me and my colleague were to be written up for it at the area managers request (they'd turned up mid-hunt one day) but my manager enjoyed them too much so had held off.
We made one last huge hunt on my last night that took them the whole next day to crack."
19. This superhero wannabe
"I worked at Walmart and it was the most boring experience of my life. One day, they let me be the greeter. You know the guy who greets people who come in. Anyways, the janitor leaves his broom. So I pick it up and start swinging it around pretending I'm Robin. People are just watching me do kicks and fighting the air and then my manager comes and loses her mind on me. That surprisingly was not the day I was fired."
18. This employee did a lot in two years
"Pretty much the entirety of my 2 year stint on 3rd shift at a convenience store.
- Played homerun derby in-store with a plunger and a tinfoil ball
- Played floor hockey with a pair of brooms and another tinfoil ball
- Had a wrestling match in-store
- Played "Creamer Basketball", which was more of a free-throw contest
- Constantly gave away free food and drinks
- Numerous pranks on the store manager
Despite all of that, I was the store manager's favorite employee."
17. Close this venue down!
Giphy
"this happened a year ago in the restaurant i was working for.
our boss asked us to cook a good $200 worth of meat and brown sauce in a big pot. When our boss tried to take the pot out of the oven the whole thing fell on the ground (cooked meat and brown sauce everywgere). he then asked us to put water on the meat to "clean it". we kept the meat but made new brown sauce.
the meat was then used for a wedding"
15. Sorry, Steve
"Stabbed a customer by accident one time.
Went to hand him a cheap snap off razor blade, poked him in the hand, drew blood. Er, sorry about that Steve."
14. Some last day heroics
"Tackled a thief who stole a couple bottles of vodka. They landed on the ground with the bottles in their shirt and had both smash all over, covering them in vodka. No injuries luckily! It was also my last day there and I was sick of theft, and took my frustration out while I had the chance."
13. Better than getting angry in front of your boss
"There have been times when I walked into the walk in cooler, pretending to get something or that I was going to get a sip of my drink but really I went in there so I could silently cuss out the boss or give her the finger without her seeing it."
12. I think this worldwide coffee chain can afford a spoon or two
"I work at a coffeehouse of a worldwide chain and sometimes when I'm done doing the dishes and notice there is one last spoon left but I already started the dishwasher, I just throw it away :T I'm not allowed to wash it from hand and I'm not gonna run another whole machine just for one spoon!"
11. IT had a "Hissi" fit
"I worked as tech support, we had a lot of downtime between emails and let's just say I was the reason neopets.com got blocked by our IT department"
10. This on the clock Tolkien fan
"When I worked at Walmart like 15 years ago I managed to read the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy on the clock. I was kind of proud of that."
9. I think the pigeon won that battle
"Worked in a burrito store for summer uni funds. Pigeons try steal food leftovers outside, ended up being attacked by one and in panicked response unceremoniously grabbed it and threw it into a nearby table. Customers seemed more confused and amused than anything."
8. A great job for football fans
"I did a short stint over christmas break at a Macys. If you could somehow wind up in the security room during a football game they would have the game on the radio and the camera in the menswear department zoomed in on the TV there that was showing the game. Was a good time."
7. The smooching nurse
Giphy
"When I worked at a long term care facility in nursing school I used to kiss my residents goodnight and tell them that I loved them, and meant it. As a nurse in a more acute hospital setting I would never kiss a patient good night, but long term care is a different world."
6. This person wouldn't let food be wasted
"In high school I was a busboy at Outback Steakhouse. Lunch was around 12:00, school was released at 2:30, track practice was over by 5, work at 6:00-10:30 ish.
As you can imagine I was starving every time I worked. Cleaning up after people who had left food on the table would be torture. Sometimes it would be too much for me and I'd eat someone else's to go box or something.
I remember one night an entire macaroni and cheese was left in the bowl and it looked so good. So I snuck it into the bathroom, as not to be seen, and devoured the entire bowl. I didn't get caught, luckily. It was too real."
5. That's just nasty
"I took a dump in the toilets, I didn't flush because I wanted my colleagues to smell my poop and blame each other."
4. Stand up to bullies, even when they're customers
"I worked my second real day at a retail job when I was in my early 20s, was at the cash register one day. Dealt with an irate customer who decided to throw coins at the counter so I had to pick them up off the floor. I asked her to stop, she continued and called me a name at which point I threw all of their merchandise on the ground from the counter, walked out. Never came back, even to pick up what little money I had earned of a paycheck. Just left the awful customer, the counter and the store to handle itself."
3. They need to install bathrooms ASAP
"I had to piss in a sink because we don't have bathrooms in my building and the nearest one that does is 100 yards away... I work in a clean room so it takes a lot of time to get in and out of my suit properly and by the time I was out I couldn't hold it so I went to the sink in the changing room. I have kidney issues so it always seems like the urgency goes from 0 to 100 real quick.
The building is older than most modern building codes so its grandfathered in and doesn't have to have a toilet. It has been humiliating even though I'm usually the only one around."
2. Cool contest though
"I (very briefly and with as dry a tongue as I could get) licked one of the rare books from the 1500s or 1600s I was digitizing so I could compete with my boyfriend for that Who's licked the oldest thing game."
1. I'll imagine workers doing this whenever I watch political events
Giphy
"My boss is a high profile politician. Sometimes when I have to be at events (think bodyguards everywhere, news cameras etc) I'm just standing there on my phone playing Japanese dating simulations.
He doesn't pay me enough to care."
Ok, who is watching the clock? Those seconds aren't going to count themselves. The only way to understand time is to be its witness. Although that can get depressing. Let's focus on the light and cool.
History...
Calculate Figure It Out GIF by OriginalsGiphy"If you are an 80-year-old American, you have lived through approximately 1/3 of our nation's entire history."
Those Days...
"The 80s were 40 years ago."
"This is what messes me up because I was born in 82 and graduated high school in 2000 so for some reason my brain is stuck on the 80's being twenty years ago. The 70's thirty years ago etc etc. I have to stop and realize sometimes that my concept of how long ago things happened is way off."
Time goes by...
"We observe that light travels at 186,000 miles a second, but given the vast size of the observable universe, that's a snail's pace. But from the point of view of a particle of light, time doesn't even exist."
"Time slows down as you approach the speed of light, and theoretically stops completely when you reach the speed of light."
Years Gone By...
"MLK Jr. and Anne Frank were born in the same year."
"Betty White was born in 1922. Automatically pre-sliced packaged bread loaves became commercially available in 1928. Betty White is six years older than sliced bread."
Long Live the Queen!
queen elizabeth images GIFGiphy"The queen and Marilyn Monroe would've been the same age."
"And Marilyn Monroe and Andy Griffith were born on the same day!"
- osme1
I swear Liz is going to outlive dirt. Wait, I believe she already has. Well she won't be alone, she'll have Betty White. At least she better have Betty. Time is nothing without Queen Betty.
TV Time
Season 2 Omg GIF by Paramount+Giphy"Happy Days was a TV show made in the 1970s-80s about teenagers in the 1950s. Similarly, That 70s Show was made in the 90s-00s about teenagers in the 70s. If a similar show were to be made today, it would be about teenagers in the 2000s."
- VVillyD
A Croc
"If a T-Rex imagined a creature as ancient as the T-Rex is to us, it would be a Stegosaurus. If that Stegosaurus imagined a creature as ancient as the Stegosaurus is to us, it would be a Crocodile. If that Crocodile imagined a creature as ancient as that Crocodile is to us, it would be a Shark."
On the Clock
"On a twenty four hour clock the amount of time that humans have been on the earth would total around five seconds."
"How about this one: If Homo Habilus first appeared at midnight, 24 hours ago, that means the first Homo Sapiens appeared at 9:25 PM, or about 2 and a half hours ago. The first human civilization, in lower Mesopotamia, appeared at 11:57 PM, or about 3 minutes ago."
"The Western Roman Empire fell at 11:59 PM, or 1 minute ago. Everything that has happened since - the Crusades, the Plague, the discovery of the New World, the world wars, all of it - has happened in the last minute of human existence."
And that's just OUR Sun...
"The span of our lives are so insignificantly small that our Sun will last another 5 billion years. That's 9 zeros people. Our eldest live to around 100 in the best places. That's 50,000,000 (50 million) times longer than any person can reasonably expect to live. And that's just OUR Sun. The universe as a whole has probably existed for magnitudes longer than that already and will continue to exist until the end of time as we know it."
Tell Me a Story
william shakespeare GIF by will herringGiphy"We know what a good storyteller Shakespeare was but there were Greek playwrights who wrote shows nearly 2,000 years earlier that are pretty good, too."
I hate time. Only because I'm petty and irritated of the amount I squandered. That's neither here nor there though. Time marches on and continues to amaze. I'll keep watching.
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