Reddit user cardinalwren asked:
What's a red flag that you need to find a new job?
OK so listen, please y'all remember that there are almost always other jobs and other opportunities there if you work and plan for it. Do not sacrifice your mental health or physical safety for a job not one second longer than you absolutely must.
With that said, let's get ready to rumble...
Go Away
Ferris Buellers Day Off Smile GIFGiphy"My last job had a number of red flags. My breaking point was when I couldn't enjoy time off due to stressing out about work." - ProscuittoSuit
"This is a big one that a lot of people ignore."
"If you can't have a week off without spending it worrying about what is going on in your absence, then the job sucks - UNLESS you're the owner, in which case that's very much your responsibility to find people you can trust to run the place while you're away."
"I used to have a job where if you took a week off, you'd spend the next 2-3 weeks trying to fix the mess that you came back to."
"That is the result of a bad management structure and organization. Employees should be able to take their time off without regretting it when they come back."
"If your employer has a 'yeah you can take your time off, but you'll be making that time up when you return' sort of set up then you should get the f*ck out of there." - LetsNotBeTooHonest
"I hear that. I had my one day off yesterday. Came back in to dozens of half-finished jobs and demanding customers. My first thought was: 'I should have used my day off to shoot myself.' Yeah, that's not healthy." - MrHermeteeowish
"Had a job one where they would call me on my off time to reprimand me."
"Once called me right before a college class to accuse me of theft, only to find the money 10 minutes later exactly where I told them."
"Constant anxiety at work, constant anxiety at home. When I finally got fired I felt relief. F*ck those kinds of bosses." - Abigboi_
Hoping For The Worst
Bill Murray Sigh GIF by Groundhog DayGiphy"I used to drive to work with the not-so-suppressed feeling that I wouldn't mind being involved in an accident that resulted in my hospitalization. Perhaps a couple of broken legs and a long but achievable recovery, because then I'd get a few weeks or months off."
"At the same job I had a colleague who said he didn't bother looking when he crossed the road because it didn't matter to him."
"Somehow I didn't pick up on it at the time but that place was not good for anyone working there." - LetsNotBeTooHonest
​"Yup, this one. Friend told me he realized he had to get out when he started contemplating stepping into traffic on the way to work. I decided to put more energy in my job hunt when I found myself doing the same." - ichemistried
"A different take on the same thing - my old roommate talked all the time about hating his job but mostly jokingly - but it was good money and he figured that's just how work life is."
"One day he fell down the stairs at the train station on his way to work and ended up with a pretty brutal concussion and broke his wrist.
And his literal very first thought was "at least I don't have to go to work" and that's when he realized it wasn't normal to hate your job that much." - PhiloPhocion
Shakeups
Giphy"An unusual amount of coworkers, especially higher ups, are leaving the company." - TheBassMeister
"This is a big one. I've been through a dozen or so reorganization efforts at different companies. If there's a shakeup in senior leadership, I take that as a massive red flag that I need to fire up LinkedIn or start emailing contacts about job prospects." - Kooky_Finding8516
"This is a big one. I've seen it play out in two different companies. When the senior folks are leaving it's either the culture/ownership is toxic or a major shakeup is about go down.
An extra red flag if they're leaving the industry altogether." - Desperate_Pineapple
Not A Robot
The Wave Dancing GIFGiphy"If you have PTO and sick leave but they never let you take it and make you feel bad when you do." - Spider7895
"My job has a very strict attendance policy that includes sick time. You get 3 occurrences a year which includes everything from family emergencies, bereavement, to sick time."
"Anything over the 3 occurrences and it's a write up."
"My breaking point was being harassed about a doctors note to include the first day that I was too sick to get out of bed, let alone see a doctor. When I called the nurse to have them adjust the note, I ended up bawling my eyes out because the nurse apologized to me for having to deal with management like that."
"F*ck sick shaming. I'm not a robot I'm a human being." - HappyOtato
A Very Red Flag
red flag GIF by Steve Harvey TVGiphy"When they don't have enough funds to cover payroll. That was a very red flag" - hmbrandvfvsa
"Yep! If they say 'We have to hold your paychecks for [any time whatsoever]' then they are this >< close to closing their doors."
"That's a company with so little money that they're dipping into their operating costs for cash flow (payroll being one of the biggest of these.)" - Empty-Masterpiece242
"Oh ya. Leave yesterday if that ever happens ." - Jert3
More Work
Happy Jim Carrey GIFGiphy"When they continue to pile work on you, and don't up your pay or benefits."
"The downside to actually giving half a f*ck and doing a good job often means you'll have the work of others dumped on you, cause 'you do such a good job.' " - TheGoodJudgeHolden
"The reward for good work is more work" - Juker93
"Aaaaand this is why I am searching for a new job at the moment."
"I carry the responsibility of at least 3 people and don't get paid nearly enough (about $8/hr below the low end average pay for my position) to invest in ways I can decompress when I'm not at work. Time to go." - Emilybohbemily
Bad Boss
The Golden Path Boss GIF by The Chemical BrothersGiphy"If your boss doesn't support you. If they are quick to anger and/or always assume the worst... you constantly feel like you have to defend yourself, and nothing you do is good enough."
"You probably ARE good enough; they just don't like you and it doesn't matter how hard you try. The more you work, the more you achieve, the more you are determined to change their mind, the more you are positive and resilient, the more it will just piss them off."
"You're likely smarter and more talented and they feel threatened by you." - SmellyZelly
"I just left a job like this. Everyone in the company hated the boss and he always felt he knew more about our roles than we did...he didn't, though."
"This led us to really not putting in extra effort because when we did we were told to 'stay in our lane' but if we didn't put in extra effort then we were constantly asked what we did all day and even had to track our time and how long projects took."
"Dude was crazy and a bad manager/leader/business owner. I rage quit, everyone else I worked with was actively seeking new work. I was lucky that I had something to fall back on." - DizzySecretary4711
The Best Questions To Ask During A Job Interview | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Freeze!
freeze GIFGiphy"I work for a university and when the pandemic hit, they implemented a job freeze. Managers have to make a case for why they need someone."
"My previous department is chronically short staffed and has been holding an employee hostage because she got another position within the university. Her position has been posted twice and no one has applied for it. It's been 3 months."
"I was glad to escape, but my current department is down by half. I haven't been there long and it's been so stressful because the workload is insane and the learning curve is steep."
"I'm prone to depression and can feel myself sinking. I've been looking at jobs outside of the university but am too mentally exhausted to apply." - puffityfluffity
"Bruh. I work the Security Ops for a university. We can't keep people over 2 weeks since the higher-ups added so much to our workload cuz of a freeze."
"We haven't had a full team since last February."
"Not to mention it's a worker's market out there right now, so pay-wise we're just too much for too little pay. I'd leave too if I weren't getting free classes to finish my degree."
"I used to love this job." - MildMantis
Training Your Boss
Come On Reaction GIF by NBAGiphy"You had to train your new boss" - LegoMyAlterEgo
"I worked for a government department and took a temporary promotion in a line of business I was very good at."
"I took on a team of new staff, trained them and got them over 3 months to competency. I didn't receive a job of training or support for doing so."
"To fill my role permanently, my department recruited from a shortlist that had been in existence for 6 months. I couldn't apply, my performance wasn't considered, I was to be demoted back down against everyone's wishes."
"They brought in someone with no relevant knowledge in the line of work or management experience. I trained him up and promptly left." - Dontbesouritsanewday
Baby Breaks
its happening now lena dunham GIF by Girls on HBOGiphy"When I was pregnant I was harassed and made fun of."
"When it came time to get maternity leave, I was only given 3 weeks off. My boss said she didn't care what the law was, she was above it."
"They made sure to call me to make sure that I was coming back almost everyday. When I finally returned, I was told that I could not pump my breastmilk. My daughter was exclusively breast fed at the time."
"I was told it was my duty to answer the phones and that pumping should be done on a lunch break. I ended up soaking clothes and bras and losing my milk supply."
"Thank god I no longer work that job, it was highly toxic and the women were just nasty and catty. Heaven forbid you wore the wrong outfit or wrong brand of clothing." - Tapdncn4lyfe2
Money Is The Whole Point
Pay Me Kim Kardashian GIF by GQGiphy"Not making any money."
"I'm a newly licensed Realtor. I know they say the first year is hard as is and add in this market to be extra difficult... But I haven't made any money since April (been licensed since September)."
"I still don't think I've even made profit yet. All the fees to join Realtor associations and get access to the MLS. Not to mention showing clients houses and then they get frustrated that their offer isn't getting accepted."
"That's so much wasted time and gas that I get zero compensation for. I don't want to be a quitter but I feel like it's all uphill." - Madam-Savage
A Whole List
Billy Ray Cyrus Scroll GIF by 2020 MTV Video Music AwardsGiphy"I recently left a job I was in for six years. To summarize, these were my red flags:"
- "Hours were awful due to rapid growth of the company coupled with the inability to hire and keep experienced people. This piled more work into less and less people. I'd regularly work 12 hour days during most weeks, as well as longer during busy season (January through may). I'd have to work Sunday on my own time because I'd get so distracted with daily meetings during the week it was impossible to get actual work done."
- "None or the firm's systems worked, despite hiring an entire group to manage them. This led to a lot of manual workarounds that caused more inefficiencies"
- "Management expected perfection despite ridiculous workloads, tight timing, and very low staff. You'd have billion dollar funds being sent back down the review queue for $1 rounding variances. To people with a no financial background, that's absurd and a complete waste of time."
- "Management was manipulative. They would always phrase things in a way that made it sound like everything was your fault. It's your fault something didn't get done on time, not the fact that you have the workload of 6 people and the systems don't work. Then it would hit your performance."
"So yeah, if you experience any of the above please leave. I'm a few months out of that job now and couldn't be happier. Don't stay in a job that makes you miserable." - CalmDecision9770
Turnovers - But Not The Pastry Kind
Over It Starz GIF by Run The WorldGiphy"When people don't last past the 6 month mark. The department that I work in at my hospital has a high turnover rate of nurses and medical assistants."
"This is mostly due to the fact that management has never changed and there is a lot of catering to doctors that have been there for 20+ years and want to make them happy by continuing doing archaic practices that are no longer used."
"This is a cancer center. So many patients fall through the cracks or have died because of how awful management is." - depressed_popoto
The Old Timers
raise get GIFGiphy"People have been working there for 10+ years and never got a raise. That's a sign to run." - TheGrizzlyNinja
"When the longest employed person who worked at a company that has been around for a while, has only been present in the company for 2 years or less."
"Usually it means that there is a high turnover rate and the the entire culture is crappy, if the longest lasting employees have a short time of being there." - radiantheron8679
About The Title
No Thank You GIF by Karen CivilGiphy"My previous job offered me a promotion (higher authority level, more responsibility etc.)"
"When I asked about the pay increase they looked at me as if I was insane and said 'a promotion shouldn't be about a raise it's more about the title' … f*ck a title, if there's more work and more responsibility there should be more money."
"I noped outta there soon after." - ekay333
75%
I Like Yes GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy"When work is on your mind 75% of the time even when you aren't there, but it's out of dread and not because it's your passion."
"Goal: find a job you think about 75% of the time because it is your passion." - cosmic_pharaoh
The Biggest Sign
Say Word Lol GIF by Desus & MeroGiphy"If you opened this thread hoping to find an excuse to leave your current job" - OpaqueDreamer
Honest question... how many of you just realized you need a new job?
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
And then there are those who are just miserable in their jobs but choose to remain on the payroll. These people also leave it up to their bosses to terminate them from the job.
So what makes them get to this point?
Redditor 12345burrito wanted to know and asked strangers:
"What was your 'go ahead and fire me I don't even care' moment at your job?
Bosses with bad tempers and obsessed with power like these tend to experience high turnover.
Pee Monitor
"When after 20 years working my a** off. They started timing our bathroom breaks. I have never been completely and totally done with anything that much before."
– Callmepanda83744
Twist Ending
"I was working as a software developer and providing second line support, in the hospitality/conferencing industry. I had overheard a colleague trying to provide support for something that was clearly the client IT team's fault. Later got a call from the client's MD's secretary wanting to set up a call with our founder to complain that the problem wasn't being dealt with. I said 'I can't call him, I'm really sorry, please don't ask me why. I know our support people are working on it.' Why couldn't I call the founder? Because his wife had, that day, lost a full term baby - which I obviously couldn't disclose. Soon after I got a furious call from the client MD himself. His IT team was obviously lying to him about our not returning calls - I had heard the calls being returned. And he just wouldn't accept that I couldn't call the founder and couldn't tell him why. So eventually I just hung up on him."
"I told the most senior person around, expecting to be fired on the spot for hanging up on a client. Her reaction: 'Oh yeah, he's not a nice guy: he's physically attacked me in the past.' Not the outcome I was expecting!"
– thx1138a
The Colleague's Note
"We had a manager that was an @ss. It was a sales role and he had no empathy when our sales were flat. He's get very abusive and threatening."
"One day, he was shouting at us and my colleague got pissed off. He was explaining it was one bad week off the back of seven good weeks. You got to expect ups and downs with sales."
"The manager just yells louder claiming my colleague is a 'quitter' and doesn't have a winner's mindset."
"Colleague tells him 'I've had enough of this sh*t. I'm done'"
"Manager screams 'I want your resignation in writing.'"
"Colleague scribbles a note and gives it to him. Manager had a sh*t reputation and couldn't recruit. Our sales were even lower with one less person on the team. It ruined his career."
"But funnier than that was the short, but sweet resignation note from my colleague. It read…"
"Dear Bob. I'm off. F'k you".
– Smiler_Sal
Fast Food Boss
"I used to work in fast food when I was 18. We would be rostered alone, no lunch breaks or bathroom breaks because we couldn't leave the store. No training. School kids would have to work closes until 12am on school nights. He made us serve expired seafood and deli meat. The last straw for me was when I got a call on a Monday screaming at me because the store wasn't clean and it was obviously my fault even though my last shift was on the Thursday (and I left the store spotless). Multiple people and shifts had occurred since I had even worked but I somehow got the blame. After that call I emailed him saying I quit and blocked his phone number. His store closed down now a few years ago too."
– groovybaby1999
Holiday Shift
"Was working 3 jobs one being a full time position but wanted to help the stores through the holidays. Specifically asked one store that I had been working for over a year through three store managers to only schedule me on Thanksgiving if was an emergency. She scheduled me anyways along with enough other people to handle the rush."
"This came after multiple occasions where I would show up 3 hours before opening to unpack the shipment and had no one to let me or the shipment into the store so I ended up having to waiting in the back hallway (mall store) guarding a few $1000 dollars of merchandise."
"Day before Thanksgiving I asked to take my 10 minute break so I could eat something. No customers in the store at the time. Same manager who repeatedly bailed on me refused to let me take it so I decided screw this and said I'm taking it. If I'm done I'm done. Sure enough they said I was done so I cleaned out my locker, carried my things two doors down to my higher paying job and got the go ahead to clock in early. So I worked the same amount of hours I would have for more money."
– NovianOwl
Missed Forms
"During this pandemic we have to fill out a form before entering the building attesting we feel good and are able to work. I forget to fill out the form once last summer and I forgot to fill it out again once this summer. As I forget twice within a year my boss came to me and said he is looking at writing me up as per HR policy."
"I told him that I filled out these forms over 180 times over the past year and if he is going to write me up over two missed forms I will frame the write up for everyone to see."
"He didn't write me up."
Engineer Vs. Boss
"I was a manufacturing engineer. New boss (transfer from overseas plant) wanted to break a running spec on our new machines in favor of what they do in the overseas plant. In good faith I told him that we can't do that, in my plant that spec was set by the (very picky) customer after a long, arduous process that I assumed he was unaware of. To change that spec would have been a major quality violation and could compromise the safety of the end product."
"He did it anyway. This was the last straw for me. My old employer was terrible in many ways, but the blatant disregard for safety by this new manager was sickening. He even had the gall to privately message me and say 'I am the manager, you are just the engineer. I am in charge.' I responded with 'Yes, I'm the engineer- and it's my job to make sure we follow quality standards so our [products] don't hurt people.'"
"I got fired on my next day at work. I nearly cried with happiness. I got fat unemployment checks and they lost the only person who knew how to manage those machines."
– SassiestPants
Jake Gyllenhaal Reaction GIF by MOODMANGiphyThese bosses lacked compassion when an employee was suffering from moments of despair.
The 16-Year-Old Who Had Enough
"I was 16 and my Step-Dad was in hospital around 5hrs away dying from cancer. I got a phone call at work for about the third time in a couple of months that I needed to get down there ASAP to say my goodbyes, as this could be it. My bosses were all well aware of the situation, one of them was even friends with my Step-Dad. When I rushed out the back to tell them I had to go, this bloke looks at me, a crying, frightened,16yr old girl, and told me I had to stop doing this, and get my priorities right. In a rare showing of assertiveness, I looked that d*cksnap in the eye and told him he was right, and quit on the spot."
– AcidRainDawn
Crazy Historical Events That Sound Fake But Are 100% True | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
The Loss Of A Close Friend
"I had a similar situation when my closest friend died. My friend came from an abusive family so he lived alone and had no one close to him besides me. I had to take a day off and plan his funeral. When I got back to work the next day they acted like I had inconvenienced them. My boss told me not to lay out of work with such a short notice again. I told him I had enough of his inhuman attitude and quit on the spot. He called begging me to come back a couple of weeks later but I had already found another job."
– barvoues
​The Unsympathetic Christian
"I was a teacher. I had confided in the school principal that I was struggling with depression but getting treatment. This a**hole (who also happened to be a deacon at my church) proceeds to tell me that depression is a spiritual problem that I needed to solve. I was too shocked and upset to say much of anything then, but I wrote him a letter telling him what I thought of his actions and his 'Christianity.' Ultimately cost me my job, but damn it was satisfying and I don't regret it in the least."
– Blytheanne
Wife Comes First
"my wife was attacked, was in surgery when I got called about it. I was less than 10 miles away. Got told: Finish the run (9 hours), then go see her, you can't help her anyway."
"Parked a Semi/trailer in the back lot of the hospital, told them to page me for the keys."
– PeanutyButter
These Redditors did nothing wrong, but was more than happy to leave a job that had unreasonable demands.
The Accident
"My job was micromanaging the hell out of everyone. They had 3 different softwares that tracked where you were, speed, how much time you were on 1 job for, etc. On my way to get supplies for a job I came across an accident. No one had arrived yet so I pulled over and helped a trapped woman out of her car and tried to calm her and take care of stuff until Medics arrive. I
text my boss very quickly that I'm at the scene of a major accident rendering aid and that's why I'm stopped. I was told by boss A to not spend too much time there, as I am on the clock. I ignore him. After medics take over, I take a video of the scene as I leave to prove that there was a bad accident. I was fired for taking the video because it was taken from in the company truck. When they fired me, I smiled. There are 8 people that company in the position I was in. The 2 most experienced quit after that. The others are applying for new jobs."
The Shyster Company
"I was working at NTW (National Tire warehouse) before it was national tire and battery, and my first day I was scheduled for a 14 hour shift for some reason. About 6 hours into it, I asked my manager when out break time was. He said "what do you mean by break?" I said "a half hour break as mandated by law, and two 15 minute breaks required on top of that, also required by law." His response was 'most people don't take those here, we have costumers to take care of.'"
"After that, I clocked out and went to Wendy's to get lunch. I figured f'k these a**holes, go ahead and fire me."
"After lunch, I was doing a tire rotation and balance, the manager came out and told me not to balance the back tires if the costumer isn't watching me. That was the nail in the coffin for me. They paid for that."
"I got to talking with some of the longtime employees and they informed me that the sales counter guys (our managers) made commission from every sale and got bonuses every month while we got our minimum wage and raises were rare. I finished my shift and clocked out. Went looking for a new job the next day. Any company like that can go piss off."
"So when you go get your tires balanced, watch them."
Taking Care Of The Boss's Personal Belongings
"My boss once told me that I have to come in to the office the next day, which was a PUBLIC HOLIDAY, because we needed to clear out the office storage unit. He said that we can't afford to take time out of work days for that task."
"So I begrudgingly agreed and showed up the next day. When I opened the storage unit it was crammed full of stuff... full of the boss's PERSONAL STUFF. I'm talking boxes full of his old clothes, childhood toys, school projects and textbooks, gardening tools, furniture, sport and gym equipment, construction materials, paintings, etc. TVs."
"I was so mad that I quit on the spot."
Sometimes, people who weren't necessarily treated poorly can't handle the job and quit.
But instead of following protocols, they will make a scene because at that point, they have nothing left to lose.
I had a friend with whom I performed at a theme park. Yes, it was a grueling schedule but the company never violated any of our union's rules.
This guy, who was an exceptional dancer but simply did not enjoy performing in the show and took the job because he couldn't get work elsewhere, threw a major tantrum after finding out he had more rehearsals – with overtime – and just left the building. He never came back.
Some drama is better left up on a stage. Sheesh.
There are times it can be kinda sorta funny though! Here are some examples.
U/GregTheGreat657 asked: What is the dumbest lie that was actually believed?
The main culprits of these kinds of fibs are usually family members. Oh, the things they think they can get away with.
Seems legit.
My grandfather told me he got his gold tooth from not putting his tongue in the area he lost his baby tooth from. I'd try to get a gold tooth every time but I'd always cave at like a day or two.
It would be very, very hard not to cave. imagine if you did, and you fought the urge to put your tongue in your empty tooth, and then you didn't get a gold tooth.
Are you trying to poison me?
gross pie face GIFGiphyGrowing up my dad told us kids that eating pie without ice cream was poisonous. My mom thought it was funny until one day, when my dad was working out of town, she tried to feed us pie without ice cream and we all believed she was trying to poison us and would not eat it.
Pickle juice is good for a lot of things...but not that.
That drinking pickle juice will dry your blood up. My mom told me that (we're from the South we believe a lot of stupid stuff). IDK where my mom got it.
When I pointed it out to my High School Home Ec teacher she just looked at me like I was a moron... and I was an honor student.
It's actually good for muscle cramps.
Spotify is evil, but only because of the commercials.
My dad had weird rules to music. For the longest time I believe that Spotify would make me lose my hearing because he told me that the app used a certain frequency that the army used to torment POW.
Turned out he just didn't like the fact I was listen to music he hadn’t pre-approved.
​It sucks when the people in authority you’re supposed to trust end up making stuff up. It can get extreme sometimes!
This is why I don’t work at an office anymore.
Matthew Perry Cubicle GIF by Nick At NiteGiphyI was working for a midsized company. One day we had a company meeting where the CEO gave a speech where someone asked if they were going to put in cubicles. The CEO swore that there would never be cubicles at a company he ran. We all believed him.
Three weeks later workers showed up and started assembling cubicles. Then we had meetings with our mangers where it was explained to us that they were not cubicles. They were 'work stations' and anyone who said the word cubicles would be fired.
That’s a very elaborate lie.
I called out from work because I was sleepy and wanted to rest. Problem is, I'd been legit sick the week before. So, nobody would buy that I was sick again.
So, I called the boss and told him I'd stopped off at the bank on the way to work, witnessed an armed robbery there, I was the only person who could identify the perp so I had to go to the police station, fill out a bunch of reports and sh*t and then sit in on a police lineup to make sure they had the right guy.
The boss was usually kind of a d*ck. But he went for it, no questions asked.
Compulsive liars are the worst.
In college it was always a struggle to get home for the breaks. I lived over 3hrs away and my parents never came to pick me up. A guy who was a resident assistant with me in the same dorm said his parents owned a private jet... and offered to fly me home for the upcoming holiday. He talked about it for weeks prior to next break, told me the type plane, all the other people he was taking and other details. I even turned down rides to go home.
Welp. It was all a lie. I was waiting with my bags packed ready at the correct pickup time (early in fact). He never showed up. There I was waiting when another RA saw me and asked when I was leaving for the holiday. After I told him I was waiting and the story he laughed and laughed....then said "Derek? Oh that guy lies."
I had missed all rides and was nearly stranded on campus. Ended up on the Greyhound the next day.
There are times where it’s your own d*mn fault for believing it. But you know what they say, ignorance is bliss.
I cannot believe people still fall for this.
lisa simpson episode 21 GIFGiphyThat vaccines cause autism. Andrew Wakefield, who published the article claiming this, admitted to making it up, but that fact doesn't matter, because people believe him anyway.
If there was anyone I'd kill with a time machine, it would be him because that has a very specific butterfly effect.
We’ve all told this lie.
I never fart in front of my husband. It happens once in a blue moon. A few years ago it did happen, he was thrilled but I convinced him that the noise was from the chair I was sitting on. I lived with that lie for about a year until I told him the truth.
How did the collectors fall for this?
In the 1800's, a man named Denis Vrain-Lucas forged tens of thousands of fake letters from historical figures. He made hundreds of thousands of francs from prominent French collectors by selling documents supposedly written by Biblical figures such as Judas, Mary Magdalene, and Pontius Pilate, and got away with it for years. This would all be pretty understandable--except that all the letters were written in modern French, on watermarked paper.
As I'm writing this, my husband told me a story of his own. When he was a kid, his dad told him that salt and pepper were opposites. Meaning that if you used too much of one, you could use the other to even it out. Eventually he learned better, because his cooking is next level good.
Stop falling for dumb sh*t. This isn't just a reminder to you, but also one to me as well. Because lord knows I've fallen for many dumb lies too
I know that some HR departments are overseeing a large number of people, but that doesn't mean you aren't supposed to be able to identify the person you need to seek out. You can't just pull a rando employee in and give them the what for. At the very least know with whom you are scolding or praising. How embarrassing.
And you are...
Excuse Me Reaction GIF by BounceGiphyPulled into a meeting with two HR reps in the middle of my shift. Taken to this really nice boardroom, which was confusing because I was just a grunt and this is literally floors above where I should ever be.
They sat me down and said basically what do you have to say for yourself. Me, still confused, tells them I have no idea what they're talking about. Everyone is really quiet and serious and I'm scared. And they say you know what you did, this is cause for termination, blah blah. I'm literally thinking this is really excessive for being a few minutes late sometimes.
I insist I don't know what's going on. One of them maybe realized something was wrong and flips open a file and says you're xx right? Turns out they got me mixed up with someone else who has the same name. On the elevator ride down by myself I was still sweating. Don't know what that other person did but man, HR does not play.
Nametags Necessary
I had the Air Force Office of Special Investigations do that crap to me back in like 2002 or so. I got told OSI called and wanted me to go over to their office. I got interrogated for about 10 minutes, them accusing me of doing cocaine and hanging out with some other dude I barely knew. After me arguing with them for those ten minutes or so, they finally said "aren't you this Airman super common last name?"
And I was like, yeah but there's multiple Airman super common last name in my shop alone. Yeah turns out, they meant a different person completely. They saw my last name and never checked my ID or asked my first name. I had to get read into the investigation because they messed up.
Once you survey the terrain and understand the dynamics of the job, you can devise a plan. If you know HR is full of jackals, then you know you're on your own. So never let them leave you hanging. Keep proof. Beat them at their own game.The proof is all you'll ever need. And be ready to be sneaky about it.
Show the Logs
I went to HR to report that my team's manager was illegally shorting all of our paychecks. HR's response was to adopt a new, company-wide policy addressing the paycheck issue and back-paying most people for a certain amount, and also to frame me for work avoidance. HR and IT disabled part of my login account to a tool we used, and then fired me a few months later after failing to fix the problem and allowing me to actually do my job.
They tried to deny my unemployment claim afterward. Told the unemployment rep that they "had logs" showing that I did something to break the tool I don't even have access to break in the first place. They also didn't think to disable my email access in a timely manner, so I was able to back up all my emails with IT documenting exactly what went down. Unemployment approved my claim and hit them with a major penalty to their insurance.
I have receipts...
HR ordered me to downgrade my three excellent employee reviews to satisfactory because management didn't recognize their names. I got written up for telling my employees this.
HR denied that they told me anything, even though I had the emails from them documenting it.
Totally worth it. My employees were excellent and got the raises they deserved.
You gotta watch out for the little things. That is how they get you. See they know you're staying on top of the big things. That is exactly what throws us off our game. We miss the small details being blinded by the elephant in the room. Trust me when I tell you, they've been plotting your demise and it'll be for something you never thought possible. Be prepared.
Take my Badge...
Im Out Shark Tank GIF by ABC NetworkGiphyThe HR/Payroll manager at a small hospital I worked at had a bad habit of not paying out the sign on bonus that was paid out incrementally in three payments through the course of a year and sign on bonuses for picking up extra shifts.
After repeated request to be belatedly compensated, I took it to corporate who addressed my issue immediately.
A couple weeks later I was terminated on what amounted to a technicality where I forget my badge one shift and my relief was late to take over sitting with a patient, causing me to receive more points against me than if I had called out for that shift.
When I was called in to receive my notification, the director of nursing was shocked but ultimately not much she could do.
Let's Excel
Overall I've been able to get along with HR departments with one exception. I was working a help desk job for a company during college and the head of HR called in for help. He was making an Excel spreadsheet and couldn't figure out how to make a formula do what he wanted. I offered to come take a look as we were in the same building and he told me I couldn't because the spreadsheet was full of confidential information. So I asked then if he could describe what exactly he was trying to do without giving away any specific info, and he told me that what he was trying to do was confidential.
So I clarified that he wanted me to tell him how to do something but I couldn't see it and he wouldn't even tell me what it was he was trying to do. At that point he agreed that I wouldn't be able to assist him since he couldn't divulge anything. As soon as we hung up he called my boss to complain that I was useless.
Of course some people are just straight up dumb, or rotten to the core. In a perfect world people in positions of power deserve to be where they are, or they're at least competent. Well, competent enough where you're not wondering... "how did you get here?" And rotten people can be movie villain level, true story.
A Quick 6
I worked at a smallish company that grew big enough to hire a hr person. Her office was down from mine so in the mornings I'd swing by and say hi. That turned into grabbing a cup of coffee she had just made, the into having a pastry and talking about life. I found that if I mentioned someone's name in passing, a few minutes later she would spill the beans about that person's life. What work issues they had, health issues, family issues etc. I learned really quick any issues I had not to take them to her. She made it like 6 months before she got fired.
Completely Inept
The HR supervisor of my former company. She didn't have formal training in HR but still got the job because of connections. She would tell anyone she was close with confidential details about certain employees like their health and family issues. She would also divulge information that only the management should know like business negotiations. And it was all voluntarily done. Anyone with formal training who worked under her never lasted a year. Last I heard, they finally hired an HR manager she would report to.
Sneaks...
HR hired consultants to run morale building employee input sessions. Basically saying "We're not from the company. You can tell us all the things you don't like about working here and would like to see changed and we'll put it all into a report for management. Don't worry, everything is anonymous, we just need material for our report and you guys get to have your say in improving things around here."
Turns out HR and the consultants recorded all the sessions and played the highlights for management. People were disciplined for criticising the company or their immediate superiors and any shred of faith or trust in management that the employees may have had was instantly incinerated.
Managers now complain that they don't know what's going on in their teams because nobody tells them anything. I wonder why.
Villainess...
the little mermaid villain GIFGiphyHR person used her position to collect intel to get people she didn't like fired.
Bad Performance Issues
The company has a policy where 10% of the workers had to get bad performance reviews which meant no raise that year. What the company didn't take into account is that some teams are small and hyper specialized. You can imagine what happened next, a bunch of crucial employees quit and that policy was cancelled (but the damage was done).
Edit: wow people really enjoy corporate incompetence, let me tell you another. The company has a policy that limits an intern to 5 years. I started there somewhere during my bachelor's and now near the end of my masters, it took over 5 years so now they are letting me go. My boss doesn't want to let me go and his boss doesn't want to let me go, but you can't argue with corporate.
At the "Real" Job
At my last "real" job before striking out on my own I had an exit interview with the HR lady. Who was actually just someone who was friends with the company president who was filling in because the actual HR lady with a degree in HR and everything quit.
A lot of people at this place quit. It was a terrible place to work with out of touch management and delusions of grandeur limping along building websites for a business niche that was mostly old people who thought the Internet was magic.
During the exit interview she asked why I was leaving. I told her I liked my coworkers a lot, but hated the company. She got this exasperated look and got genuinely upset, and told me that she'd been getting that same line from everybody else who quit and had their exit interview recently.
It boggled my mind that they could hear the same thing over and over again from so many people putting in their time until they could go on to something better and not stop to think they should change something.
Being a Junior
Fed Up Reaction GIFGiphyOur entire IT department get tested based on our skills level.
Turns out, more than half of us were suited for higher categories (meaning we were getting under-paid - I was not a junior but a semi-senior, for example). Suddenly the test doesn't matter and HR basically forgets about it, but now you have a bunch of employees that know they're being played. Everyone left eventually.
I Dare You
After 4 years on the job, I was given a first and final warning for asking why the hell HR was behind a locked door and now dominated over half the first floor, filled with new furniture that was unused after 6 months, meanwhile, my chair was taken by another employee and I was told to use the chair without padding.
An executive from another department heard my complaint, stole one of the unused chairs from the HR expansion, and gave it to me, explaining that if I did it, I'd be fired, she did it daring them to fire her.
Damn Sprint
I worked in a call center for a cell provider when I was younger, let's call them Sprint Mobile. We had a bonus structure that was based on our call metrics; hold time, handle time, call resolution and all that. A lot of the metrics were obtainable but one was hard, call resolution. Some times people had to go to stores, wait for replacement devices, or needed software updates that required follow up calls.
But they got surveyed right after the call and asked if their problem was resolved. Well my last year there we got our metrics at the beginning of the year and by November about 60% of the floor hit them. Two weeks before bonus time they changed the metrics and only 20% of the floor got their bonus.
ANYTHING
Not HR but heed my warning: don't type ANYTHING into your work computer that you wouldn't say directly to your company's HR person's face. I have seen people had cases built against them for poor work and ultimately fired for the crap they say over Skype.
Damages
I worked in a warehouse that regularly concealed the shipping of dangerous goods to save money. This went on for years. As time went on, I bubbled up though the ranks and was eventually made manager of the warehouse. I outright refused to ship anything anywhere until we started to claim our dangerous goods shipments properly. Their solution? The boss started to sign his name instead. This went on for a few weeks until HR found out. (They obviously knew how much trouble the president could have got in to).
So the next time a shipment had to go out, the got the newest guy in the warehouse to start signing his name instead, claiming they were training him how to do paperwork but the poor kid had no idea.... so when the driver showed to pick up his shipment I told him that there were a bunch of dangerous substances concealed in the shipment. So he refused it and left. I got told later that my actions were "damaging to the company image" and it had to stop.
I told HR exactly what was going on and how I would not be a part of it. Less than a week after that, I was removed from my position due to "company restructuring" and laid off. Some of the most crooked shit I've ever seen. My rough estimates ballpark the money they saved at about $250,000/year. Scumbags... the whole family.
The next 2 weeks...
Upon giving two weeks notice, I get this stupid rant about millennial snowflakes, how we can't take the stress of a real job, and how we think we're so important and unique, but in reality the only thing that would happen, is that they would find another engineer to fill in for me, and things would be like I never existed.
After the initial shock, I replied with a "you are absolutely correct. Me staying or not is meaningless. Consider my resignation immediate from this moment, please give me the paperwork to sign."
crazy nicolas cage GIFThe sister/HR had very little actual life experience because they both came from a big pharma family and never really had a sense of what working a real job was like. Boss could do no wrong in his sister's eyes, so complaining about anything just got you gaslit. Glad I'm not there anymore.
Out of lIne
At my job we used to hire a few special needs individuals who would do some cleaning and light duty things. One day one of them did something wrong (it was very minor but I can't remember the specifics) and the manager said out loud, right next to this guy, "why do we keep hiring these retards?"
And referred to his job coach as his "handler". One of the girls that saw it happen was rightfully pissed off and reported it to HR. The next day she was put on unpaid leave for "creating a hostile work environment". Same manager is still here... she is not.
Luckily, I myself have had very few encounters with people from an HR department, and the few times I did they were quite lovely. In the end, no matter the job, no matter the company, the position, title or department we must realize, everyone is out for themselves. You sort of have to be. Everyone wants their share of the pie. It would just be nice if everyone didn't play the villain to do it.
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