
Undertakers Reveal The Weirdest Things They've Ever Seen At A Funeral
[rebelmouse-image 18361792 is_animated_gif=_Death and the grieving period that encapsulates it is a very strange and surreal time in life. Tempers flare, emotions run high -some family is high- secrets are exposed, sanity is tested, it's a never ending cavalcade of drama. We all deal with a loved one's passing in our own quirky, personal ways, and when you're witnessing people's grief process firsthand, there is never a dull moment. _
Redditor _\missuniquorn _wanted to know from **Undertakers/funeral workers of reddit, what's the weirdest thing you've seen at a funeral? **Sometimes you just can't make thus stuff up. _
AT ANY AGE... NEVER DOUBT A WOMAN SCORNED!
I interned at a local funeral home. A elderly man had died at the age of 81. His kids organized for him to have an open casket and all was well until his wife who has dementia showed up. She broke out of her nursing home and came to see her husband of 59 years. She then proceeded to beat his face in for dying without consulting her first. It was interesting to say the least.
NO OPERATING A FUNERAL WITH BOXED WINE...
[rebelmouse-image 18361793 is_animated_gif=Best non-tragic one for me. Pallbearers so drunk they could barely stand let alone carry the casket. They agreed to wheel out on a trolley. Some still holding their goon sacks (bladders used in box wine for you non-aussies) in their free hand.
LIBRARIES AND FUNERALS... USE YOUR INSIDE VOICE!
[rebelmouse-image 18361794 is_animated_gif=So this is kinda tragic, too. We are talking about funerals after all. My husband's cousin and best friend died in a tragic 4-wheeling accident. Cousin's super crazy Jesus freak mom insinuated he killed himself on purpose. He flew off the road and hit a tree, how the hell and who the hell would do that on purpose? She also said _"the spirit," _talked to her before she knew about his accident and told her he was gonna die. When she said all this at the funeral, there was a collective unbelieving sigh from even the most _"spiritual," _relatives. My husband was soooo upset that she insinuated he committed suicide, it was bad.
YOU USUALLY HAVE TO PAY FOR THE ENTERTAINMENT!
[rebelmouse-image 18361795 is_animated_gif=My uncle's first wife ran over the grieving widow's foot in an effort to sit on the front row. The widow slapped the crap outta the scooter-bound woman and she jumped of the scooter and they rolled down the aisle of the church, tipping over flowers and pulling hair. The law escorted both out and we continued the service. Good times!
SEND IN THE CLOWNS...
[rebelmouse-image 18361796 is_animated_gif=My daughter's room mate is a beautician and does the "final makeup" at one of the funeral homes in the area.
Last year, a little boy (about 7 or 8) who had died from brain cancer was brought in and the parents told Kim (daughter's room mate) that he had loved clowns and they wanted her to apply the same makeup on him that he had worn on Halloween.
She did what she was asked to do (and the family was very happy) but has told us that it was one of the weirdest (and hardest) things she ever had to do.
THE DYNASTY CONTINUES TO THE AFTERLIFE.
[rebelmouse-image 18980190 is_animated_gif=Worked at one when I was younger. The weirdest one I saw happened to be for a friend of family, we had to decorate the whole room to look like a duck hunting scene, fake ducks and plants all over, took us the whole morning to set up. It was kinda fun actually, being 15 and an undertaker was different.
A PERSONAL TOUCH...
[rebelmouse-image 18980191 is_animated_gif=My friend's son died, and at the funeral there was a sort of ceremonial thing where the father, and perhaps others were handed a little tiny shovel of dirt to throw into the grave.
My friend looked at the big pile of dirt with two regular shovels sticking out of it, and then looked at his brother who, without a word, was thinking the same thing, and the two of them grabbed the shovels and went at the pile of dirt until the grave was completely filled in.
SEE YOU AGAIN...
[rebelmouse-image 18980192 is_animated_gif=This wasn't all that weird, but, I thought it was cool.
My wife's uncle died and at the funeral, the funeral director handed out a bunch of sharpies and let people write messages on the casket.
I wrote the only thing I could think of that seemed appropriate, I wrote: "See you soon"
QUICK! WHO HAS SOMETHING TO SAY?
[rebelmouse-image 18980193 is_animated_gif=Not a funeral home worker. But at a celebration of life for a coworker, the deceased's ex wife, that none of us had ever talked to, showed up and bad mouthed him. It was awkward AF.
BREATHE EASY MOM...
[rebelmouse-image 18979079 is_animated_gif=I read about a family once, wanted to bury their mom in another city... her youngest son hadn't grasped her death and hammered a hole in her casket so she could breath.
WHAT BETTER TIME TO HAVE A CHAT?
[rebelmouse-image 18355768 is_animated_gif=My cousin did an apprenticeship at a funeral home and at a viewing the daughter of the deceased was kneeling in front of the coffin screaming things about Armageddon and how god had failed her.
I DON'T CARE HOW YOU GET HERE JUST GET HERE IF YOU CAN.
[rebelmouse-image 18980194 is_animated_gif=My mom is a paster at a United MethodistChurch and she does a fair bit of funerals. The strangest one by far was the family of a old woman who passed away couldn't afford a hearse so they loaded her up into the bed of a truck and drove her to the cemetery. We live in Texas and this is even weird by our standards
SOME ARTISTS TAKE A PERSONAL TOUCH.
[rebelmouse-image 18980195 is_animated_gif=When I was younger, we thought undertakers were these malevolent people that desecrated the dead.
Met an undertaker that showed what he did for a living and he took care of the dead as if they were treasures, cleaned them and made them nice. I never touched the body, but he would have me cover up myself and he made sure I could leave anytime if it got too much for me.
Saddest I've seen was a woman and her 2 month old daughter, beaten to death by an irate husband, I can't do justice on how messed up their faces were, but the made them real good again and he made sure that in death, they were beautiful as they should have been.
He was used to this, but even then he stops to take a breather. I miss that guy.
LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE...
[rebelmouse-image 18978248 is_animated_gif=My grandmother recently went to a funeral and the person who passed away was lying on a couch in the funeral parlor. He had no shirt on and was just in a blanket. She said then all of the sudden they took him out and cremated him while the family just waited. I was dying laughing when she told me, if you knew this redneck family you would laugh too, but it was sad as well. I'm just glad I didn't attend this one. I have fits of laughter at the most inappropriate times just out of anxiety, I guess.
THE CORPSE CALLS SHOTGUN!
[rebelmouse-image 18980196 is_animated_gif=My ex-boss' grandmother (who lived with his family) died when they were visiting family in Philly. It turns out it's expensive to get a funeral home to transfer a body, so they drove her back to South Jersey themselves. I guess you could get away with things in the '60s that you might not now.
SHE'S SO LIFELIKE.
[rebelmouse-image 18980197 is_animated_gif=A lady in my hometown passed away and her family insisted that she be put on display sitting in her recliner rather than in a casket. They covered her legs with a blanket and even laid a remote on the arm of the chair. The entire visitation and service was carried out with her sitting in the chair. I'm honestly surprised a funeral home would even consider such an odd request.
CHECK YELP FIRST!!
[rebelmouse-image 18980198 is_animated_gif=My dad was handling the arrangements for a family members funeral. They knew the funeral home people socially and had used their services before! The funeral director was talking to him about things which have gone wrong at funerals and said that one time someone had the bottom fall out of a casket. I thought, maybe that's not something you should share with a customer.
CAN I REFLL A PRESCRIPTION FOR YOU?
[rebelmouse-image 18980199 is_animated_gif=An old friend was a funeral director. One time he's greeting people at a funeral and a well dressed youngish woman came in and walked up to him and said, "excuse me, can you tell me where my husband is?" He said, "Did he come in with you?" She screams "he's dead!"
NOW WE'VE HEARD IT ALL!!
[rebelmouse-image 18980201 is_animated_gif=OOOOHHHH I CAN ANSWER THIS!!!
My husband worked for a bunch of funeral homes making the graphics for the tri-folds, prayer cards, collages, ect... WELL one day he had a twins. So, they were sisters, who married twin brother. went to the same school, had twin dogs, and twin houses. Dressed the same every day. And died a day part. every aspect of their lives they were twinning.
ALSO! while we were friends, I went over to his place and told him my childhood best friend committed suicide. He put two and two together and asked me my friends name and I verify that he does in fact know my friend's name. Weird.... SO it turns out he made the package for my friend. And was curious how the kid died since he was a week old than my husband. It was so shocked he did my best friends kit.
He has so many more, these are just the ones that stick out to me.
THEIR ARE SO MANY WAYS TO 'RELIEVE' YOUR GRIEF.
[rebelmouse-image 18980202 is_animated_gif=Pastor here. Estranged son of the deceased showed up drunk to the graveside service, then proceeded to urinate on the casket before being tackled by another family member. Lots of awkward praying and intense emotions that day.
Have you ever heard of a certain job that people call a career and thought... "PEOPLE PAY YOU FOR THAT?!?!"
All hard, honest work is good work.
And then there is just trash work.
And I don't mean garbage collection, that is honest work.
I don't know how some people live with themselves.
Redditor MrTuxedo1 wanted to discuss the careers they don't believe people should chase. They asked:
"What job do you have no respect for?"
Ticket scalpers. How do you the audacity to say that's a job?
Actual burglars have more empathy.
Disrespectful
"There are debt collectors who call relatives of the deceased to pay off their debts when they are not legally obligated to."
Top_Gun_2021
Shady. Shady.
"Australian Real Estate Agents. Laws don't seem to apply to them. Just as dodgy in sales and rentals alike. Never seen anything like it overseas."
snave_
"I'm in the US, it can vary state by state but my state is pretty strict on realtor laws. Some states require attorney review and there are definitely penalties for being reported for shady sh*t. It does require consumer reporting though."
ilostmytaco
Etransfer
"Where I live, tax info was leaked and now scammers are targeting low income individuals/families (people earning under 30,000 per year) with etransfer scams. I got one the other day that was an etransfer warning that 240$ 'a family member sent me' was about to expire."
SnowyInuk
"That’s disgusting. The scammers know what they’re doing, they know the harm they cause people and yet they don’t care."
surelysandwitch
Should be illegal...
"MLM managers. Not the low level idiots that get suckered into it, they suck too for trying to bring new people into that sh*tshow, but the people who create them know exactly what they are doing and are pretty much the only ones who profit off of it. Should be illegal. Pyramid schemes are illegal. None of them ever get the just desserts except occasionally by vigilantes I assume."
Wereno
I hate debt collectors. Yeah, you calling me one hundred times a week is going to miraculously make money appear.
Animals
"Paparazzi."
VictorBlimpmuscle
"I met Jack Gleeson (King Joffrey from Game of Thrones) at a bus stop in Dublin. Really nice guy but he said he quit acting due to people being nasty online and constant hounding from paparrazi. He's happier now but it sucks that he was pushed away from a career he was quite good at."
goobi94
Scumbags
"The pastors at mega churches whom ask their followers for money for private jets. Absolute scum to abuse others faith for your own greed."
ichancho
"Brian Tamaki is a greedy freaking pig, he takes advantage of so many people who are already struggling. Every time he’s in the local news (which btw is often) I get more and more pissed off at him and his wife. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brian_Tamaki "
surelysandwitch
it’s a thing???
“'Dating Expert.' Sadly it’s a thing. It’s basically a self appointed title that requires no training or qualifications. What’s worse, is that I have a female friend who uses one. It’s very much a blind leading the blind situation."
Mean_Manufacturer_61
"Most of the self proclaimed “dating coaches” I know are women in their late 30s or early 40s who have never been married or had a longer relationship."
ipozgaj
EVIL
"Poachers. Especially big game poachers who purposefully hunt nearly extinct animals from species they know they are on the brink."
"I know there are poachers that come from rural villages who are trying to just put food on the table, which has my sympathy but poachers who come from money and hunt down animals minding their business in most shelters or restricted areas just to put a head on their wall as a trophy are absolutely heinous."
GetterdoneObiwan
I See It All
"Psychic Mediums. Specifically those who prey on the grieving."
JamesDeadite
"I've always found it interesting how many magicians go after people like this. I think it's because they know what it takes to trick people for the art. The slight of hand and mentalism. And they abhor people who use these tactics for such sh*tty purposes."
34HoldOn
I want so bad to believe in psychics and mediums. What say we on that topic?
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
The nose is constantly being attacked by odors of the world.
Going through one day without having to hold my breath during a certain point, is a miracle.
Of course, I'm a New Yorker, so I maybe exaggerating for people in the countryside.
What's funnier is odors that are pleasant, that shouldn't be.
Have you ever looked and something and thought... "yuck."
But then you smelled it and it was like... "oh lovely,"
Redditor HappQueue wanted to know what aromas are arousing to the senses that may come as a surprise to many. They asked:
"What smells good but shouldn't?"
For some odd reason I love the things burning. Anything, food, pots, pans. You name it. Weird.
Blow
"Matches/candles on a birthday cake. I remember lighting matches as a kid purely to blow them out and inhale that sweet match-y smell."
semispooked
"guilty good"
"I work at a Chemical plant. We make a highly acidic product that is dark blue, viscus, highly corrosive, and smells exactly like Fruit Loops. It is incredibly disturbing."
Turin082
"Organic chemistry has many 'guilty good' smells. Thiophosgene (sulfur derivative of a chemical weapon used extensively in WW1) apparently smells like meat. Phosgene is used to make polycarbonate, thiophosgene is used to make some sulfur-containing molecules which eventually end up in therapeutic drugs."
HammerTh_1701
I can't huff it...
"Paint, specifically house paint. I love the smell. But anytime I hear that anyone is painting a room or their house, I volunteer. I just love sitting on the floor in a room that's been freshly painted, closing my eyes and just inhaling that slightly chemically, slightly creamy aroma."
Neowza
A Hint of French...
"A fish and chips shop burnt down as couple blocks from work a few years ago. The whole neighborhood smelled amazing for days. Just the slight hint of French fries. Nothing overpowering. It was so awesome. Until I found out someone was trapped in the fire and died."
stevey_frac
Drag
"Race fuel. Instantly puts me in a good mood as it reminds me of going to the drag races with my dad when I was young."
garfnodie
Fuel and matches get me too. And they sort of go together. Interesting.
Just like the Movie...
"The water from the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Mmm, bromine."
Stalkerslovemy
"This is one of my favorite scents of all time, and Disney is very aware that people enjoy it. Evidently it’s a lot harder to recreate than just adding bromine to water."
cash4panties
"black widow".
"There's a chicken wing restaurant near my house that has a challenge sauce called "black widow." The owner claims it to be around 500,000 scovilles. A few years back some buddies and I decided to try them, the sauce was a dark molasses color and smelled almost like a BBQ sauce, no hint of the danger that lurked at all. We each grabbed one wing and it went terribly. I don't know how something so spicy could smell so innocent."
Final-Chapter
Endless Weekend
"Hotel/rented rooms whenever you go on vacation. There's this particular smell that just says 'you are on vacation,' especially on a beach/swimming trips/out-of-the-town vacays."
Yummy_Llama
"Bath and Body Works has a plug-in scent called Endless Weekend that replicates that scent (to my humble nose)."
Exxcentrica
"oh no..."
"Someone you are attracted to's body odors. Anyone else who is slightly unhygienic smells repulsive."
Mini_gunslinger
"I remember back in high school a girl leaned over, sniffed me, told me that I smelled really good, and asked me what cologne I was wearing. I asked if she was joking, and she's like, no, you smell really good. When I told her I had just gotten done with gym class, she gets a small 'oh no...' look on her face and turns away. I think we both had a revelation that day."
user deleted
That Smell
"The smell inflatable things give off. I have no idea how to describe it, but it’s… nostalgic? to me."
crestfxllen
I do love the smell of plastics and inflatables. Ahh....
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
At one point in time, we've misplaced things that we've considered priceless possessions.
It's hard to imagine how to go on without the lost object–whatever it may be–but over time, it becomes a distant memory and we move on.
That is until we magically find ourselves presented with this opportunity proposed by Redditor mikehotel288, who asked:
"You find yourself in a room with everything you’ve ever lost in your life. What do you look for first?"
There are necessities people cannot do without.
No More Dry Lips Ever Again
"Gonna be a lot of chapstick in that room."
– camefromxbox
There are things that bring us comfort and are irreplaceable.
Safety Blanket
"My baby blanket. It became tattered over the years—to the point where I couldn’t reasonably wash it anymore—so I had to throw it away a little while back."
"I have heavily regretted that decision. I was really attached to it (hence it being in tatters), but I really wish that I kept what was left of it instead of throwing it away. Just knowing that I’d still have it would be a huge comfort to me."
– Uearie
Sentimental Heirloom
"The pendant my dad had made for me with my grandmother’s engagement diamond. It was 2 carats. It disappeared from a Las Vegas hotel room 20 years ago. It was hidden deep in a suitcase where it would not have been easy to find. It was just GONE. Cops didn’t do anything. Didn’t even come to take my statement. Cleaning lady said she thought she saw an elderly man enter my room. The guy I was with was not sympathetic in the least. Entire situation was f**ked. I’m still so upset about it."
– MaritimeDisaster
Lone Shark
"My plastic shark toy I lost when I was 10. Ain't no f'king way it just VANISHED."
– Guilty_As_Charged__
Not everything lost is tangible.
Tick Tock
"The time I wasted."
– shinyfennec
It Holds Value
"My private key with 6 BTC in it."
– Significant_Mirror19
"I didn't lose one, but I'll check my room for yours just in case."
– Smodphan
Finding Purpose
"The reason I walked into the room."
– Lloyd_lyle
Lost Opportunity
"That one girl i spoke to on omegle lol"
– h-amishh
If only we get to reunite with those we've lost.
The Loved Family Member
"My grandpa."
– Splatty_boi_420
Grieving Parent
"My daughter. She’ll be in my brother’s arms. So I’ll find both things I care to look for."
– SeeTheFence
Missing Mom
"My mom. She died of cancer in 2017. She never got to meet my daughter. I miss the hell out of her and wish she was still part of my family’s life."
– X-Arkturis-X
The Animals That Come Into Our Lives
"My pets that have passed: especially my horse, Blue. It's been 4 years, but it feels like just yesterday."
– Baciandrio
While many of these scenarios are unlikely, the thread gave people an opportunity to reflect on the things that made a strong impression on their lives.
Sometimes, the memories of the things we've lost–whether they are random objects or sources of love–is all we have.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
What's worse than returning home from a night out or a workday and discovering your home was broken into? Being home when the break-in happens.
Home invasions are a common trope portrayed in horror films like The Strangers and Funny Games, and they're absolutely terrifying because they are based on real-life incidents.
Redditor silentagent47 asked strangers to consider this horrifying hypothetical.
"You have 5 minutes to prepare before a guy breaks into your house with the intention to kill you. You can not exit your house. What is your strategy to survive?"
The hunter becomes the hunted, inspired by TV and movies.
Duplicating A Scene
"There was an episode of Burn Notice where Michael puts aerosol cans in the microwave with kitchen utensils and hits popcorn button. I really want to know if this works or not."
– JohnSterlingSanchez
Epic Burglar Trap
"Speed-watch Home Alone."
– pluribusduim
It's about the choice of weapon.
Jump Scare
"I get the vacuum cleaner ready in a certain room, I turn it on as hes about to enter to create a distraction, then I jump out when he's inspecting the noise and bonk the f'ker on the head with the piece of 2 inch steel tube I keep as a weapon."
– BustedBastard
Beware of Dog
"Unleash the Hounds"
– myassonreddit
Make A Weapon
"Duct tape a bunch of knives to the end of one of those tall lamps to make a spear of blinding and then proceed to go sicko mode."
– DubTheeBustocles
Preparing For A Thwack
"Turn shower on, for some reason I have a shovel behind my wardrobe?? So grab that. Wait for him to check shower, whack with shovel. Boom."
– hypersp00p
It's Just A Game
"Corner camp with a shotgun."
– Arrow3619
A Warm Welcome
"Hairspray and a lighter to his face."
– WorkingClassSheep
The effectiveness of these tactics are questionable, but points for creativity are warranted.
Stand Still
"Put a lamp shade on my head and stand in the corner of the room."
– Cannabis_Sir
Make It Erotic
"I turn on all the lights, take off all my clothes, rub butter all over myself, and start a fake conversation on the phone. As soon as he breaks in I say into the phone: 'I’ve gotta go, my next appointment is finally here…”
– FrankieTheAlchemist
Forget The Stairs
"Go to the LIVING ROOM."
– on-oath-never-again
Removing The Element Of Fun
"Draw an X on my forehead and grab a beer."
– Candycoatedmuffin3
And that's why I would opt for living in a commune or apartment complex.
People who own houses are just asking for forced entry.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.