Truck Drivers Share Lesser-Known Road Courtesies To Make Their Job Safer
Being a truck driver sounds like a difficult task. As someone who doesn't drive, I can't imagine operating one of those big sixteen wheelers, so I have mad respect for those that do. Not to mention the fact that truck drivers barely get to sleep, and have to be on top of it at all hours of the day.
So a bunch of truck drivers took to Reddit to tell the world how we can make their jobs a little easier. Jamesjamesjames3 asked:
Truckers of reddit, what are some less common road courtesies that we can offer to you to make your job safer and easier?
Generally, most truck drivers just ask for you to obey the rules of the road.
Definitely a headache.
“I say this as a former trucker and as a regular driver. I appreciate the gesture but please don't be polite. Be predictable! Follow all the rules of the road as written and there won't be as much confusion.”
“That is one of my biggest pet peeves. In my area, no one seems to know how to stop at a two way stop. I've raged about it a few times and people I considered pretty intelligent confessed they didn't know the rules so they wave people through.
Basically, if you're turning right, you're good. For some reason people going straight like to stop and wave the people the if left through. They do it in the dark when there is no way you can see them waving. They do it with tinted windows. I get so mad because I've had to sit through 5 minutes of openings only to have the person going straight stare at me until the opening passed.
I've also seen near accidents where the person going straight goes when it's their turn and the left turning person expected they were going to get a free pass. It's a headache.”
This one seems obvious, but not a lot of people follow it.parking GIFGiphy
“Don't park in no parking zones... They may look like an empty spot marked off for no reason, but they are often there to give the trucker room to back in his very long trailer in what is probably already a tight space. If you park there, they cant get in.”
“Similarly, stop at the stop light where indicated. Sometimes the line is far back from the intersection to allow trucks to make the turn.”
“We always flash our headlights to signal that it's safe for a truck to merge in front of us. They often reciprocate with a return flash of 4 ways as a thank you.”
“A quick use of the 4 ways is usually a "thank you" signal to someone who indicated to them that could make some kind of traffic maneuver safely, like "i'm dimming my headlights because yes make your lane change, it's clear".
If a moving truck's 4 ways are just ON-on, then
- they are moving much slower than the speed limit and want people behind them to notice that
- it is a downgrade and they are reminding people that passing and then cutting them off with too little space is a really bad idea
- they see some hazard ahead and want people behind them to heighten awareness and slow down
- they are rapidly stopping because of standstill traffic or an accident and want people behind them to heighten awareness and slow down”
Truck driving can get incredibly dangerous. Here are a few ways we can make it safer.
Well that’s terrifying.
“From back when I was driving, pass quickly and only on the left. If you camp out on my side, you're sitting next to tires that have a pressure of 100 pounds per square inch.
Never had a tractor tire blow, but when the trailer tires went it shakes the truck like a grenade went off. Don't sit there waiting for the grenade to go off.”
Window Cleaners Share The Best Things They've Ever Seen | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Never tailgate a semi.homer simpson truck GIFGiphy
“I drive for Amazon and I once had to take a right turn into a gravel lot to drop off a trailer. When turning you have to slow down A LOT and make it a wide turn so your trailer doesn't hit the curb or ditch on the side. Well this turn had a ditch and the fellow driving behind me was tailgating and was also impatient.
He misread my wide right turn as me turning left (for some reason?) and then proceeded to speed up around me which would have him heading directly towards my cab. So when he realized he effed up he swerved into the ditch and his car bounced back out of it totaling his car. All while this was happening I was just hoping he didn't hit me.
I pulled into the lot all the way so I wasn't blocking the road and then got out and asked him if he was okay and all he did was yell at me and curse and then called the police. When the police got there and heard both sides and realized that he did it to himself because of his reckless driving and that we didn't actually make any contact they let me go about my day.
The wife of the dude actually called me later and apologized for her husband which I thought was hilarious. So yeah don't tailgate a semi people.”
“I own a trucking company, here's some things we would love the public to practice. Keep in mind, this is for the large sleeper bunk with 53' trailer. The guys who live on the road.
- Never get in front of a truck when you're approaching an amber light or a red light. That truck may weigh up to 80k and you've just reduced his stopping distance. You can out run him when the light turns green and get in front of him after.
- Tankers are dangerous, especially if they don't have baffles. Don't make any erratic moves around them because if they have to suddenly stop, Newton's first law will f*ck you up.
- If you're changing lanes in front of a driver, signal and slowly merge. Most driver's are trained to look several vehicles ahead and they have a better view. Just give them space, they could already be adjusting for a situation that's out of your field of vision.
In summary, give them space and time to assess the situation.
If a truck hits you, you'll probably die and the driver will be fine. Safety in large commercial vehicles primarily has the public in mind and driver's are trained to be defensive. Trucks and loads are insured, therefore replaceable.
At the end of the day, there is a human being in that truck and they are prone to the same emotional behavior that non-commercial drivers have. Most driver's are very mature, however, have tons of patience, and have seen a lot of sh*t on the road."
Never brake check a semi either.
“Do not brake check. Stopping an 80,000+ pound vehicle is a lot harder than you might think."
"Yup. It takes a real idiot to brake checks a semi, and there are a lot of them.
Every trucker I know (my relatives and many family family friends) has at least one dash cam. Insurance companies and the trucking companies will KNOW with video evidence that the brake-checker was breaking the law. Often it's preceded by swerving in front by the car, giving insufficient space with an improper lane change.
If they collide the truck driver gets a short break, maybe a paid couple days off while repairs are made. Sometimes that's a minor inconvenience if they had intended to see family or something, but most long-haul truckers are gone for months at a time and it's actually a welcome break.
The trucking company and their insurance company bill the idiot's insurance company for the damages and the lost time.
The idiot who brake-checked has to pay their own repairs, often are given a ticket by cops (who are shown the video) and points on their driving record, and their insurance rates will go up assuming they can continue to get insurance.
The best case scenario for the idiot who brake checks a truck is that they get lucky and aren't hit.
If they truly 'succeed' then not only will the idiot's car will be totaled, maybe they'll even die."
But with all of the safety protocols, there are also a few things you can do to make a truck driver’s day.
This is so wholesome.top gear GIFGiphy
“My dad was a trucker and I rode with him for years and years. Please do the air horn thing with your arm. It makes their day."
"My dad is a near retirement age trucker. His favorite story is the time he saw a group of school children walking on the sidewalk as he rode to the paper mill. They were all doing the arm motion, but it's illegal in the city limits so he's torn. He sees the end of the line and a police officer is at the end, one known as "Officer Friendly" and the officer looks at my dad and does the pull with a big smile so my dad just blasted that air horn.
The horn and the distinct sound of jake brakes define my childhood.
I called my Dad to tell him about this post and first I was proud he knew what Reddit was, second he got a real kick out of it. He said " It don't matter if you're a hard a**, tough guy trucker, you see a kid make that motion, you blast that thing!" And if you read that in the voice of Matthew McConaughey in Dazed and Confused you get the authentic Gator because even though he's spent 40+ years almost as far North as he once was South, he doesn't sound like it."
A truck dance.
“Not a trucker but while driving through Nebraska one night I gave a trucker some room to get over but he didn't think he had enough so I flicked my headlights (turned them off and back on quickly) to let him know he had space. He moved over and then made all the lights on his rig and trailer do this crazy dance. That made me feel pretty cool.”
Give them space!
“For the love of all things kind and generous, please wait until you've got at minimum 4-5 car lengths of space before returning to my lane after passing. Cutting back into the lane immediately is dangerous and completely unnecessary. If there is no traffic behind you, 50 car lengths is better. Just give us some space please.
Same for vehicles towing a boat or other trailer. Provide those drivers the same courtesy that you'd give a trucker. They're often not very experienced with towing and space is free to give.
For example, a well kept BMW 3 Series with good tires and brakes takes about 200 feet to stop from 75 MPH AFTER recognition and decision. That is about 16 car lengths. Even if purely for self preservation, that ought to be the minimum space you'll allow between yourself and other vehicles. Yes I know that in heavy traffic that is often impossible to maintain but I've been on the interstate with just 1 other car visible and they'll stay in my lane until I think they'll hit my rear bumper and cut back in within 15' of my front bumper. Seriously, you've got the whole freeway. These drivers could wait minutes before switching back to the right lane and disrupt no one.
Trust that if you feel safer speeding by staying in the right lane as much as possible, today's Laser speed devices employed by the police can snag your speed at great distances no matter what lane and what vehicle is nearby. If you're going to speed, man up and take your chances because you’re still vulnerable anyways.”
Let’s be real, truck drivers are the real MVPs.
Keep these in mind next time you’re on the road.trucker GIFGiphy
“Not a whole lot, just a couple of things
When you're merging onto a highway, do your best to be going as fast or faster than traffic before you get into a lane of travel
Secondly try not to drive beside the truck/trailer as there are many times we need to move over because of people merging, broken vehicles, police officers, etc and it kinda sucks when we have to dump a lot of speed so that the car beside us will pass pass before we get to the thing we need to move over for because it takes much longer for us to accelerate to our previous speed.”
Stop being helpful!
“Rode shotgun for about two years, the number one thing my fiancé said was do not ever try to be helpful, drive like you normally would, being helpful makes you unpredictable.”
Watch out for tight turns.
“There's a red light on my way home and it's really tight for truckers turning onto the road. I always stop like 15 feet from the white line and the truckers seem to really appreciate it. They always give me a little wave.”
That’s a tough one.Excited Truck GIFGiphy
“I'm not a trucker but I'd like to point out that trucks are often excluded from the left lane on a thee lane road. That means the middle lane is their only passing lane.
It drives me nuts when I see people driving the same speed in the middle lane as the traffic on the right creating a rolling road block for truckers.
If you see a truck behind you and you're in the middle lane, move right if you can, especially on a downhill grade!”
“When you see a truck parked on the side of the highway, move over or slow down (also called Murphy's Law in some states). Most of the time you'll see little orange hazard triangles on the road leading up to the truck but not always.
In very windy days, pass as quickly as possible if you need to pass. There were a few cars that didn't do this and when they went under an overhead bridge the suction was enough the cars lost complete control.
Also, when you pass, give room. If you can't see tires on the ground (and even a little road) in your rearview mirror you're too close to move over. This works for EVERY vehicle you pass and not just semis.
Pay attention to in town. When trucks make a right turn they have to do it wide! The number of cars I've seen that just take up the space between a truck and the curb because they weren't paying attention is insane.
One more: DON'T park on a curve. If the road is curved chances are nobody can see your vehicle if you park there, and once again it makes it difficult for trucks to make their wide turns.”
To basically summarize everything written here, just don’t be an a**hole. Use common sense, and remember how much bigger a semi-truck is compared to your car.
Also, do the arm pull thingy. They love it.
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Between our parents' words of wisdom and the annoying cliches we hear daily, life lies to us a lot.
The advice we get from our family and life seems like a good thing; at the very least, it's well-intentioned.
However, it's not always true.
My parents told me I could be anything I wanted. What they didn't mention was that not everyone has an affinity for science, and there's every possibility I won't be a physicist. That one was not fun to learn.
Redditors know all too well the reality of the world proving to us that life has many lies, and were eager to share what those lies are.
It all started when Redditor GandalfGreen95 asked:
"What do you consider life's greatest lie?"
Mother Knows Best?
"That I'm the most handsome boy in the whole wide world. Wrong again mom"
"Human nature makes it so we always see our children this way, otherwise we might drown you in a tub. :P"
"No YOUR wrong mother always knows best"
We're All Messes
"That other adults have it all together."
"No, just no. Everyone has some part of their life that is a sh*t show."
– Deleted User
"Lol looking back I got so much advise and looked up to so many adults from work in my late teens early twenties that were barely functioning adults. I just followed along cause I assumed they knew better and I was just a young kid."
"Married 17 years, 2 kids, a house, cars, dog, job with retirement plan but I DO NOT feel like I have my sh*t together. Everyday is a stress filled gut-punch of doubt and remorse."
"I am a 40something married mom. We own our home and car. And yet, every single day, I feel like I am role-playing. I feel like I am a child playing house. The older I get, the stronger this feeling becomes. Maybe it is because my personal life as far as friendships, social outings, etc. has become very small. I spend 90% of my time in my home, on my phone spaced out playing games or surfing reddit. I barely leave my home, especially in the winter, and when I do, it is because I have errands or yet another doctor appointment or antibody infusion for breast cancer. I barely talk to anyone even online. I know there are days where the only time I speak out loud is to either discuss something with my husband, usually about the kids, or talk to the kids about what they have been up to."
"I chose all of this. I love being home and being with my husband and kids. I find it difficult to connect with other women and form friendships. All the friends I do have live minimum an hour away and I no longer drive because I don't trust myself (thanks to chemo and other medications I severely lack the focus required to drive. Last time I tried I backed into my mother in law's new car. I simply didn't see it even though it was easily seen). I have a good life as far as comforts and care and sharing my life with my husband and children. But I severely lack socializing, and all that brings."
"The isolation plays a huge part in how I feel like I am a child role-playing. I can totally understand how and why some think we are living in a simulation. Somedays feel exactly like that."
"That there is one person in the world that is perfect for you."
"Well statistically there probably are a lot of people that would be perfect for you. It's just that we will probably never meet them."
"Right? You married your soulmate huh? And she just happen to grow up and live in the same town as you? How lucky!"
Dirty Politics (Which Is Just Politics)
"Politicians are there to represent their constituents..."
"The lie there is that the constituents are the voters. Their real constituents are the people/companies that pay them"
We All Need To Pay Rent
""The money didn't matter.""
"Is not a lie at itself, but it needs to be clarified. The money is not all in the world, but it really matters. It can be more comfortable a bad moment or difficulty, or save you from a big problem. And if you don't have any mayor problem or so, is always good and healthy have some for any surprise the life have for you."
"I hate when I'm worried or mad because the money is barely enough (and always stuck with credit to complete), and say me "money didn't matter", "money came and go". I know money is not all what I must worries and must put time and attention in other important things, but I can't keep that important things (like my wife or my cat) if I have not money for the basics of the house or some emergency."
Life Isn't Fair...
"The belief that life is fair is a lie, and it's a particularly toxic lie, because people who believe life is fair tend to believe that everything which appears like injustice must actually be secretly fair somehow, and so they rationalize injustice."
"People who believe life is fair also tend to be the ones benefitting from the unfairness."
Hard Work Doesn't Mean Much
"Hard work = good life."
"If that sh*t was true every woman in sub-Saharan Africa would be a millionaire"
"Hard work=more years a company screws you and robs you out of your pension until you retire at 70 or 80 with only memories of working your life away as you slowly die."
Who Really Cares?
"That the people in charge care about you. They in fact, dont care if you or your loved ones die."
"I care about my guys. Corporate doesn't."
"They care that they'll have to hire and train a new worker if you die. They don't care about your loved ones one bit."
The Company > The People
"The HR Department is there to protect the employee's interests."
"BS......it's there to protect the company from lawsuits"
College Isn't The Be All End All
"Going to college = success. The fact that so many people go to college, get their degree, and then get a job that has nothing to do with their degree "
– Deleted User
"That you need to go to college and get a degree to be successful. You really don’t, you can still find success without a degree, IT IS NOT REQUIRED."
Found Family Is Better
"Family is everything.This lie has imprisoned so many in abusive situations"
"Yuuuup. "Blood is thicker than water" is another shiny gem."
Life Isn't About A Formula
"You must go to college, get a job, find a partner, buy a house, retire and die."
"That formula and the expectations that it puts on us is the basis for so much loss. All that matters is the time we have left and how often we get to spend with those that love us."
"Specifically if you work hard in school, get good grades, go to uni, you will get a good job and be able to achieve all this easily."
"Yeah it doesn't work like that. I switched career in my 30s and make more money now a couple years later than I did with 10 years under my belt working in the industry I graduated into (construction management) and am infinitely happier."
"Find something you enjoy doing for work, don't immediately go to university because your parents and teachers say you have to, try a few different things until something sticks, then work out if you need a degree from there."
"The one where your parents are infallible. You don't realize it until you get older or become a parent. They were holding it all together by the skin of their teeth just like I am."
"This one hits me hard. I grew up in a very authoritarian family and was basically indoctrinated that my parents had it all together and knew it all. Early adulthood was hard because I was living on my own and was afraid to make decisions without checking with them first."
"Many years later and now I can see all the faulty logic for what it is. Wish I had figured that out in my 20's."
"Remember when you were young and you thought your dad was Superman... Only to grow up and realize he was just a drunk guy who liked to wear capes."
Yeah, I remember learning that one myself!
People are fickle.
Changing our minds about attraction is part of our DNA.
But sometimes following the fickle feeling is the way to go.
And that is ok.
You can be in total lust and love but if the person you're fond of kicks a puppy... kick them and run.
Some behavior is unacceptable.
Redditor JackHasSmellySocks wanted to hear about the times we've had a change or heart or lust, so they asked:
"What did your crush do that completely ruined your infatuation for them?"
I'm easily turned off, so my list could be long.
ListenListen GIF by The Maury ShowGiphy
"Not listening whenever I would share a hobby of mine but insisting me into listening to theirs."
"Currently dealing with this with my partner."
"We had been going out for a few weeks and on the way home from a party, we went to get McDonalds and he paid for me. I have an allergy and they got my order wrong. I asked and it wasn't a problem, they made me a new burger and told me to keep the incorrect one as they couldn't resell it."
"I offered it to him, he didn't want it so I said I would just bring it home to give to my housemate so it wouldn't go to waste. He was completely fine with this. Then a homeless guy came in and started asking at the tables for change. I offered him the burger and he took it."
"My date went crazy at me for giving away the burger that he had paid for (even though he was okay with me giving it to my housemate?) and followed the homeless man, shouting at him to give it back. Then got the guy kicked out of the restaurant."
"It was terrifying. He went from easy-going and charming to furious in a split second. Then when he sat down again, he acted like everything was normal and asked me if I wanted to go home with him! It was a side of him I hadn't seen before. I'm glad he showed his true colors early."
"This girl I had a crush on early on in high school told me that she recently broke up with her last BF because his dad passed away suddenly, and, as she put it, 'wouldn’t stop being depressed and a f**king crybaby about it.' I didn’t talk to her much again after she said that."
"Participated in the murder of a homeless man. He and a group of his feckless friends cornered a homeless man and bludgeoned him to death, apparently for no reason at all. And they were caught almost immediately, because there were a couple of witnesses out of sight and a camera."
CreepElementary School What GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy
"Tried to pour vodka into my drink when I wasn't looking."
"Same thing happened to me! Too bad the guy was an idiot and didn't get very far after that."
Well that is a Dateline episode waiting to happen.
GrossBye Bye Goodbye GIF by Mickey MouseGiphy
"Told me that the reason she hung around me was to get close to my very tall best friend. They dated for three weeks before he dumped her."
On top of that...
"Ohhh. This post made me remember a really hurtful one. When I was 17 at my first year at uni I made friends with a girl in my year, it wasn't like instant crush but she was funny and I grew to like her. One day we were going home after classes together (turns out we lived pretty close to each other) chatting and joking."
"And at one moment she says: 'I really like talking to you just about anything, I would have jumped you right now if you weren't so ugly.' I was a really awkward teenager: severely underweight, skin problems and some other complexes. On top of that very introverted - so it outright killed my remained self-esteem."
"Thing is that she actually didn't realized effect of her words, it was like a passing comment to her and wasn't said with malicious intent. That fact actually made these words even more hurtful."
'Everyone does it'
"We went somewhere and she and her friends pulled into all three handicapped parking spaces. There were plenty of other spots, but these were the closest. None of them were handicapped in any way. 'Everyone does it,' she said. No, no they do not."
"If 'everyone does it,' then those spaces wouldn't have been open in the first place."
"Growing up with two disabled parents, I unfortunately can confirm there are a lot more people like her than you would think. There isn't always a disabled person needing that parking spot, but when you're disabled, there's always an a**hole who beat you to it."
It worked out OK
"She mentioned her last name. I recognized it. Haha. It's probably a good thing. Found out her grandmother was my grandfather's older sister. It worked out ok. We were on a double date sorta deal with her friend and my friend. We found that out pretty early in the night. We literally laughed our a**es off for 15 minutes, making jokes and traded dates. I ended up dating her friend for about 4 years."
TrashMr Potato Head Litter GIF by City of Greenville, NCGiphy
"He littered. Just opened his car door and dropped out a McDonalds bag on the ground. That killed it right there."
"Turns out she had absolutely no filter. She took pride in 'saying what was on her mind,' which was kind of cute at first, until I realized that she literally meant it, every thought in her head spewed out of her mouth no matter who could hear it. Not a day went by where she didn't get into an argument with someone over some insensitive or insulting comment that she made. She was the female embodiment of Larry David in Curb Your Enthusiasm."
These are all valid reasons to drop someone if we're being honest.
Has this ever happened to you over something small? Let us know in the comments below.
We'd be lying if we said we haven't all made a poor decision in our lives. Whether it's letting a questionable ex back into our lives or pairing that shirt with those jeans, we all have a cringey memory to look back on.
But most of us don't have memories of inventing something terrible, let alone one of the worst inventions ever.
Redditor NPT1506 asked:
"What is the worst human invention ever made?"
"That little 'Press to Open' tab on Kraft Mac 'n' cheese boxes. That has been an effective way of opening those boxes exactly zero times."
"K Cups. The pollution of all that single-use plastic."
Teeny Tiny Bits of Plastic
"Glitter. It N E V E R goes away."
"My printer one day just up and stopped working claiming I needed to replace a part. As it turned out, that part is meant to stop working when the printer reaches 5000 pages."
"I took the part out. There’s no damage or wear on it. So I ordered a 'reset chip' that reset the page count for that part to zero. Cost me $20 vs $110 for a replacement part."
"Later on, I found a way to enable tech mode on my printer to reset the page count for any part I want. Then again, the printer is old, and the WiFi stopped working a few weeks ago, requiring me to use direct WiFi, which sucks."
It's Getting Personal
"Serious answer: chemical toxins that have caused severe health problems."
"Personal answer: HP printers. F**king pieces of s**t."
Unholy Packing Solutions, Batman
"Styrofoam is pretty abominable in my book, especially for things like takeout food that’s destined for the trash within minutes of use."
"Child beauty pageant events."
Profit for Who
"Which leads to state prosecutors who are beholden to them. This increases the probability of being charged with a crime you didn't commit, under the plan that you're too poor to defend yourself and will plead out."
"They can't make a profit without prosecutors feeding them an ever-increasing supply of prisoners (plus parolees and probationers in "offender-funded" programs). It's a recipe for the corruption of our justice system."
"Private prisons are arguably foreign enemy assets."
Addictive Pay-to-Win Games
"Pay to Win Games, especially mobile games."
"Cigarettes. They never should have been made."
"Possibly leaded gasoline. It poisoned billions and left multiple generations more violent and less intelligent."
Reminders of War
"Landmines. They don't just disappear once a war is over. They'll stay around to kill some kids playing. Awful things."
"I’ll say Nerve Toxins/Chemical Weapons. I find few things worse than a weapon that literally gives you the slowest and most agonizing death possible."
"While nukes are horrible beyond imagination, humanity learned to avoid them as a way to ensure their own survival, it's wise, but egoistical nonetheless."
"Chemical weapons on the other hand traumatized the f**k out of the survivors and the ones who called the attacks and got to see the aftermath. They were so horrible that many soldiers deserted after using them and many went mad."
"Throughout the last century, we successfully banned almost all of those: the 1925 geneva protocol, the 1980 chemical weapons convention, among others, but I'm afraid when the next generations start to forget the horrors of chemical warfare, it will resurface in the likes of what's happening with fascism."
From modern inconveniences to climate changing inventions to the literal stuff of war, there are serious contenders here for the worst invention in human history. It would be hard to choose just one.
Children believe what their parents tell them about the world to be true because they don't know any better.
That doesn't mean they have to like what they are told. But a good child listens and will act accordingly to be in their parents' good graces.
But sometimes, adults abuse their power and say whatever it takes to get a desired response from a young one–even if what they're saying may not be entirely true.
Curious to hear from those who've eventually become wise to the ways of a parent or other adult figure, Redditor i_cant_have_dairy asked:
"What's something you were told as a child by adults, that you now realize is complete bullsh*t?"
Parents hoping to prevent a bad habit had interesting things to impart.
Advancing Bone Degeneration
"Cracking your fingers make you get arthritis."
"If you keep masturbating, you'll go blind."
Interesting things were said in school but not everything stuck.
The Threat That Didn't Land
"HS teachers: 'That stuff won't fly in college" College: ✈️✈️✈️✈️'
An Easy Pass For Today
"I got this BS all through school. 'I'll let this slide, but don't think you'll get away it next year...' "You can do this now, but don't think it'll happen in Middle School...' 'Don't expect to get away with this in High School...' 'Yeah, we'll let this go in High School, but if you think you'll get that sort of accomodation in college/the real world...(evil laugh)'. "
"Eventually, I caught on that it was more dependent on the teacher's attitude rather than anything else. Small example, in high school I couldn't remember the name of a town on a test, but I could remember everything else, even drew the diagram the teacher had the board in the margin, just to prove I had paid attention that day. Still got marked wrong. In college, similar brain fart, couldn't recall a place name, but I put as much description as I could otherwise. Professor gave me half credit."
The Wrong Impression
"DARE activities in primary school gave the impression that grownups would always be giving away narcotics for free. lol"
"That a degree would open all the doors and knowing about politics, history and general stuff would make me an interesting person and that socializing was a waste of time. Nowadays I work for a big4 but I have the personality of a boiled potato. And they have the nerves to ask why I don't have a girlfriend or more friends at 27. Teach your kids social skills. Studying is not everything."
Certain behaviors get fact-checked.
The Thing About Respect
"That you gotta have respect for you elders.... Don't get me wrong you gotta have respect for everyone but I'm only gonna give what you give me. If you are a butthole ima be a butthole."
There Are No Stupid Questions...Maybe
“No harm in asking', boy did that get me in trouble…"
'Just ignore them and they'll go away.'
"No it doesn't. It just makes them laugh so they do it more."
Getting Old But Never Wiser
"That adults know what they are doing."
"31 and I feel like a chicken with his head cut off."
You Are Not What You Eat
"That you can't be full unless you eat bread. Carbs actually make you hungrier. Protein fills you up."
"Also: if you drink coffee, you'll grow a tail. Don't ask me where I'm from."
I was a very rambunctious and obnoxious kid, so maybe I deserved the tactic my mother resorted to using to get me to be on my best behavior.
Whenever I acted out, my mother used to convince me she would call the "mountain people" to come back and retrieve me back to the community from where she claimed to have initially found and adopted me.
One time, when I was incredulous and stood my ground after being a pain, my mother told me the mountain people were going to take me back.
So she called them up by using our rotary-dial telephone and faked a whole conversation with them about how unruly I've been and that it was time for me to return.
She sent me to my room to start packing–which I did. Unbeknownst to me, she rang the doorbell to indicate they had arrived to take me away.
When that happened, I profusely apologized to her and promised to behave so she could send them away.
That was the last time she used that effective tactic and the last time I think I was at my worst in terms of my rebellious behavior.
We laugh about it now but back then, I was terrified.
But I can't discredit her for her creative discipline.