I used to teach traffic school.
So trust me when I tell you, our lives are at risk on these roads.
People either don't care or don't get it.
I try not to look, mostly because I should be driving not looking all over.
But I always wonder, what do career drivers see?
Like truck drivers, they're on the road everywhere!
Redditor Is_That_A_Euphemism_ wanted to hear some road warrior stories.
"Truck drivers, what is the craziest thing you have seen looking down into passenger vehicles?"
I've seen everything from sex to cooking on a hot plate. Top that...
Sound OnViolin Shack GIFGiphy
"There was a dude playing the violin while driving in rush hour traffic."
"Probably driving to meet the trumpet player."
What haven't I Seen?
"SO MANY people hitting a bowl and even rolling joints while driving."
"Women doing their makeup at 80mph."
"60+ year old man reading the newspaper on the steering wheel."
"Guy in a beat to crap mini van with a MASSIVE pig in the rear. Like at least 300lbs."
"Man on motorcycle with dog in backpack."
"Young boy in the backseat with a tablet on Pornhub."
"My friend was a truck driver. He said once he was in a traffic jam, so he was looking around, and the guy next to him was pleasuring himself. What's even crazier, he said the guy waved at him with his other hand."
"Lady in the car ahead of me kept looking down at the seat beside her, literally every 10 seconds or so. I was thinking, 'geez, how often do you need to check that map?' (This was way before cell phones). She pulled into the right lane to get on the expressway, and as I pulled up on her left and glanced over, I realized she was KNITTING! Needle in each hand as she (loosely) held the wheel, paper pattern lying on the seat!"
Which Chapter you on?Cat Read GIFGiphy
"Saw a lady reading a book.... at night.... with a flashlight... by laying it on the steering wheel... while doing 70mph on the highway."
"My grandma rides on the back of my grandpa’s motorcycle and reads. Just so casually. 75mph? Oh, perfect time to pull out the book."
Y'all know books are on audio now right?
Any Cows?bike goat GIFGiphy
"I was on the second floor of a double decker bus and saw a goat in someone’s living room through their window (you didn’t ask me but I have nowhere else to share that)."
"If I'd seen that I would assume my brain was messing with me and like 4 years later I'd be laying in bed trying to decide if it was real or not."
"My personal favorite was a man in a nice dress shirt and tie who was not wearing pants, eating cereal out of a large tupperware container. My theory is he didn't want to spill milk on his pants while driving."
"Was driving, passed a car and had to do a double take. 4 colleges aged guys all wearing onesies, and either had a pacifier or bottle in their mouths. And it looked like they were wearing diapers too. I was like 'Huh. There’s something you don’t see everyday.'" From what I could tell, they were all loving it, and the onesie’s they were wearing were serious ones. When it’s a bunch of frat boys doing hazing, it’s looks kinda cheap. LOL."
"I remember a similar question was posted before and the truck driver mentioned seeing somebody hit like a four foot long bong from the driver's seat. The best part is that the guy who was smoking out of it responded to the truck driver on Reddit and provided some kind of proof to show it was him (can't remember what, but I'm assuming it was a pic of the bong)."
Practice Timejason derulo tattoos GIFGiphy
"Not a truck driver, but once saw a dude playing the trumpet while driving. Not a euphemism. Actually playing an instrument."
"I saw a woman in a convertible scratching like she had an ant nest in her knickers. We were stopped at lights. She stopped and really slowly looked up at me. I just smiled at her. I'm sure that was the longest wait at a red light in the history of traffic lights."
"Wasn’t that I saw in a car but this guy drove headlong into the semi in front of him. Intentionally. Didn’t try to swerve, wasn’t distracted, clearly paying attention and angry looking. Still confused how that was supposed to play out in his head."
"I worked with someone who was an adjuster. She says her coworker had a case where a guy drove in front of a semi. It was determined to be a suicide attempt. Apparently he got cut in half."
"Been driving truck for 10 years... when I got my license I'd hear guys tell all the stories of how many women have flashed them...l et me tell you in the last 10 years I've seen exactly 0 ti**ies while driving. So I've decided that either other truck drivers are full of crap, women aren't as wild as they used to be, or I don't pay enough attention. I asked a guy once about this and he told me it happens more on the west coast. If that's true then it makes me wonder why west coast women are wilder then east coast women."
With a KneeDriving Rush Hour GIFGiphy
"I saw someone writing a manual letter while eating a sandwich. Drove with his knee. Don't know how the he'll he stayed in a lane."
"A former co-worker was a truck driver at one point. He said he once saw some guy shaving while driving in a convertible. He emphasized that the driver had slathered his face in shaving cream and was using a regular Gillette or whatever tf blade with a big bowl of water right beside him in the passenger seat."
On the bus...
"Tour bus driver - saw a dude in a full gimp suit tied to the passenger seat in a passing car once. Also, I’d get cars falling in beside me to catch a few minutes of the onboard movie - you could see them staring up into the bus windows. Or maybe they were trying to snag some free Wi-Fi off the bus."
"The usual half naked people, all kinds of eating foods, even a guy on a Harley steering with his feet while leaning back against the passenger backrest. Never seen anyone having sex, but most of my runs were early morning and very rural western states."
"Not a truck driver but once saw a man drive by going to town on a pacifier. Like the thing babies use. I’ve never seen a baby use one that enthusiastically. Told my dad about it and he said it was a drugs thing. Like????? I used to work in an addiction clinic and never heard of that."
HornsTalking Season 17 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy
"Last year, I seen a car full of teenagers dressed like they were in the late 80s, early 90s. I don't know why but that was kinda of shocking. They have the air horn gesture and I proceeded to do so. Don't see a lot of kids gesturing for air horns anymore as they used to."
This is why I just look forward and play Adele when driving.