The first time you travel outside of your comfort zone, it's amazing. Amazing, but very different. And that difference takes some getting used to--some have a better time with it than others.
u/fashce1 asked the travelers of Reddit:
Here were some of the answers.
Visiting family in the Czech Republic around Christmastime. Went to use washroom and was utterly astounded to see a giant carp swimming around in their bathtub. Learned it is customary to eat fried carp on Christmas Eve.
Delicious, At Any Time Of Day
How much quality food there is at Japanese 7-11. Yes you heard me, QUALITY. Obviously here in the US you don't trust gas station sushi or really any food that comes from them. Honestly a vagabond or tourist can easily survive eating only 7-11 food in Japan, since really it's cheap and not as processed.
So Not Weird
When I visited South America it was my first time experiencing that you throw your toilet paper in a trash bin next to the toilet specifically for that rather than flush it and mess up their sewage infrastructure
It's so weird but not weird at the same time since its just how things work there.
Ah, Good Ol' Boston
I went into an an ice cream shop in Boston that was staffed by an older lady, we'll call er her OL, the exchange went like this:
OL: Hi how aw ya?
Me: I'm great, and you?
Me: Do you have blueberry cheesecake ice cream?
OL: Do you see it on the board? If it's not on the board then we don't f*cking have it
Public Vs. Private
Working in the public sector. I previously worked in hospitality as a restaurant manager. The change to go working into a 9-5 office job was extraordinarily tough. People were so awkward and shy, I used to greet every staff member with a handshake previously but now everyone in my office can't make eye contact. Public Sector for me is the most 'be careful what you say' environment regarding absolutely anything even your plans for the weekend...
A Garbage Time
I live in a very clean city, so I was shocked When I visited South America and saw how dirty it was and how much people litter.
People there literally do not give a sh*t and will just throw their trash right on the ground... Even if there's a trash can 10 ft away.
I was on a bus in Colombia and this lady was throwing trash out the window the whole 12 hr bus ride even though there was a garbage bag across the aisle from her.
In Brazil I was on a boat ride on the Amazon and our engine got clogged up. They stop the boat pull the engine up and there's a black trash bag wrapped around the motor. The driver proceeds to take the bag off and throw it right back in the river before starting the boat and taking off.
I also remember seeing people just chucking huge bags of trash right into the Amazon River...No sh*ts given.
It's really sad because it's beautiful in South America. A lot places there just don't have the money/infastruture to properly take care of their waste.
Traffic in Vietnam. Crossing the street by walking slowly, letting the overloaded scooters drive around me, I got used to relatively quick. But the overnight bus from Hanoi to Danang crisscrossing the highway, having near misses with incoming trailers and honking every third second, that was bad.
Welcome To Japan, My Friend. Welcome...To Japan
First time in Japan, first interaction with anyone outside of the airport:
Get there early in the morning, LOOOONG flight and have a meeting in an hour. Need coffee asap. Go to 7-11 (awesome! they have that here!) before checking into hotel. Guy at the counter greets me. I'm looking around for the coffee. Guy runs around counter, eager to help me in any way. "Cofffee" I say. He takes me to the coffee, points to the different types, gets a cup for me, shows me how to use the machine, practically holding my hand through the process. Get me all set up with a fresh coffee, runs back around counter. shows me the little tray to put my money in, helps me count my money. Runs back around counter, leads me to door, opens it for me and bows with traditional goodbye and arigatou gozaimasu.
WOW, welcome to Japan.
I grew up in a working class city where passive-aggression wasn't a thing. If people didn't like you they made it obvious. Shouting matches and fist-fights were pretty common. Then I get a job at a snooty ivy league university and nobody expresses what they actually think or feel, snide remarks replaced insults, people quietly conspire against you while pretending to be your friend, and you can't call people out on their bullshit without getting socially shunned because everybody is neck deep swimming in it.
More Engrained Than Ever
As the only American at a company in rural Japan: the sexism.
Everyone wears uniforms, women have to wear skirts.
In the company phone directory there is a special symbol to indicate if someone is a woman.
Women leave the office at 5 or 530. Men all work later.
Women are very unlikely to be promoted. There is only one female manager in the entire company.
When a women gets married 90% of the time they quit the company.
If a married woman's husband's parents die the company sends a card and money. If her own parents die they send nothing.
Women must serve tea and clean the office spaces.
Constantly being called "kawaii", cute, beautiful, and "~chan" by male co-workers.
Holidaying in Tokyo and watching 5 year old kids walk themselves home from school and catching public transport...all by themselves.
This is actually common in most countries outside of the US. My city here in Germany has one of the US' largest bases, and every morning you'll only see the American parents guarding their children (guessing 7-13) until the bus comes to pick them up. It's a typical American school bus which looks completely different from our regular city busses, so they should be able to easily teach their kids "get on the yellow bus and not the white/green/blue ones" but hovering around your kids just isn't 'normal' here.
Kids have keys to their homes, learn where they live, how to get there and back at a pretty young age unless of course there's no public transport close enough and the parents have to come pick them up.
I spent 12 weeks backpacking in India. The most intense culture shock was when I returned to the US. There were no people outside! The streets felt deserted. In India every city street is just packed with people. I had a second wave of culture shock was when I went to the grocery store for bread and the aisle was 25 feet long and had dozens of varieties. Lots of stuff I used to take for granted suddenly felt like such a blessing.
Some people don't take breakups very well. And those that don't can sometimes engage in behavior that others might view as bothersome, unsettling, even toxic.
Others engage in abusive behavior during the relationship, a major red flag that some people might not take seriously until it's too late.
After Redditor XYZ3110 asked the online community, "What's the creepiest thing an ex has done?" people shared their stories.
"I was so terrified..."<p><span>Let herself in my side door, after we had broken up, sat on my bed in silence, waited for me to wake up, just staring at me in the dark. I was so terrified, not knowing who it was, my adrenaline went off and I pushed her off the bed and across the room. She said "I'm sorry.. I'm sorry," and let herself out. I've locked the door every night since. This was 3 years ago.</span></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsukte/whats_the_creepiest_thing_an_ex_has_done/gotm7te?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">NE1NE1NE1NE1</a></p>
"I didn't believe him..."<p>He broke into my second-floor apartment through a window while I was out of town. Tracked dirt through my apartment, took a bath, didn't drain the tub, and left. He called me and told me he was going to break in. I didn't believe him...so weird.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsukte/whats_the_creepiest_thing_an_ex_has_done/gotv7i7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">rinacolada38</a></p>
This next one is just odd.<p>"A" for effort, though?</p>
"She spread a false rumor..."<p>She spread a false rumor about me f****** trees, and then went through all the effort of photoshopping pictures of me doing so.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsukte/whats_the_creepiest_thing_an_ex_has_done/gotbxia?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">froopty1</a></p>
"The times I left her alone..."<p>She was a snoop. The times I left her alone in my apartment she'd go through my things. My financial records, which I keep in a filing cabinet, my dresser drawers, my closets. I only discovered that she did it when she slipped-up and revealed information she'd only have if she snooped.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsukte/whats_the_creepiest_thing_an_ex_has_done/gotc8l2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">LiterallyOuttoLunch</a></p>
"Thoroughly explained to me..."<p>Thoroughly explained to me how he studied negging and how he used it on me. Also called me 50 times one time because I wouldn't return a text.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsukte/whats_the_creepiest_thing_an_ex_has_done/gotdsd8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">moscamoto</a></p>
"Went through my phone..."<p>Went through my phone when I was asleep and texted every female (I save everyone on my phone using their full government names) that she was my girlfriend and they'd better back off or she'd come after them and do them physical harm.</p><p>The thing is, the only numbers I have on my phone are all family. So I received multiple texts and calls the next day asking if I was okay or being held hostage.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsukte/whats_the_creepiest_thing_an_ex_has_done/gotulpd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Deswizard</a></p>
"I figured it out..."<p>My ex would steal my panties from the laundry hamper in my bathroom when he would come to pick up our kid, then try to sneak them back the next time. I figured it out fairly quickly, then wouldn't allow him in my house to use the bathroom when he was picking our kid up. Grossed me out.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsukte/whats_the_creepiest_thing_an_ex_has_done/gotj69k?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">lastsasohysant</a></p>
Do these people think the other person won't figure it out eventually?<p>Seriously. The nerve.</p>
"My most recent ex..."<p>My most recent ex has decided to stalk me, so that's fun.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsukte/whats_the_creepiest_thing_an_ex_has_done/gottggc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3"></a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsukte/whats_the_creepiest_thing_an_ex_has_done/gottggc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">HumanResourcesIRL</a></p>
"Not long after her decision..."<p>An ex of mine began referring to herself with my last name as if we were married. This was when I was in undergrad and had absolutely no intentions of tying knots other than my shoelaces.</p><p>Not long after her decision to take my last name, she stopped taking birth control and failed to inform me. I only found out because a mutual friend of ours (more her friend than mine) casually mentioned it to me, as if I had known. I noped the f*** out of that relationship not too long after.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsukte/whats_the_creepiest_thing_an_ex_has_done/gou2k18?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">shaoting</a></p>
In case you haven't figured it out already...<p>...people find this behavior unsettling. It's wrong. No one deserves to feel afraid for breaking up with someone. How would you feel if someone violated your personal space? How would you feel if someone invaded your home and took your things? You wouldn't feel safe, would you?</p><p>Have some stories of your own? Feel free to share them in the comments below.</p>
Babysitters and daycare professionals have access to a unique vantage. As the trusted adults left in the room with a child or children, childcare workers are the ultimate flies on the wall.
And when a childcare worker performs that role for an extended period of time--an entire career in some cases--they become privy to a whole collage of different kids who come from different homes.
Risk-Prone Personality<p>"I used to work at a daycare and this one kid kept trying to stick his finger in the electrical sockets (the sockets were taped off so he couldn't) and would fall from pretty high places and hit his head."</p><p>"I have no clue how he's still alive but I now believe he is immortal."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsvvkp/babysitters_of_reddit_what_screams_well_this_kid/gounhzr?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Wii_wii_baget</a></p>
Warning Signs<p>"I'm not a babysitter, but a relative of mine was for a short period of time. She said this 4 or 5 year old kid would tell her about how he wanted to cut into his pets to 'see how they work.' " </p><p>"The creepy behavior continued, she brought it up to the mother who didn't seem to care. One day she arrived, and the kid brought her a handful of various teeth that weren't human, still bloody."</p><p>"That was the last time she babysat."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsvvkp/babysitters_of_reddit_what_screams_well_this_kid/gotw04x?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">A_Garbage_Account</a></p>
What's Cool for Adults May Be Neglectful for Children.<p>"When I lived in Canada and worked as a nanny, I used to do casual babysitting on the side for a number of local families. One of them, well - the parents were cool people with basically good hearts, but they should never have been parents."</p><p>"Their youngest son had the video of the original Michael Keaton/Jack Nicholson 'Batman' screened at his fourth birthday party, then 'Army of Darkness' at his fifth; the fifth birthday party was attended by the then four year old that I was nanny to, and I had to play dumb and tell my employers that I had no idea why their son was running round the garden with a Super Soaker shouting 'This is my boomstick!' " </p><p>"The parents were also ex-hippies who hauled their son and his two older sisters round in a bus following the Grateful Dead, and they bought their son a 'Can You Find Stoned Waldo' T shirt at one of the shows..."</p><p>"...when the kid wore this shirt to school before he turned six, he was made to take it off and turn it inside out before putting it back on, and when asked if he knew why he'd been told to do this replied, "'Cause there's illegal activity on it, but my dad says it's not illegal if you're sick.' "</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsvvkp/babysitters_of_reddit_what_screams_well_this_kid/goud941?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">mrwednesday33</a></p>
Afraid of Home<p>"I'm a teacher, not a babysitter. But, when kids are afraid to go home or have their parents contacted about anything, there is something going on that raises red flags (and will, possibly, leave the kid fu**ed up for years to come)."</p><p>"I had a student a few years ago who broke down in tears in front of me, begging me not to email his mom. He had cheated on a test and was so scared of his mother finding out that, after the crying, he threw up in the trash can."</p><p>"If you are <em>that</em> scared of your parents, then something is majorly wrong."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsvvkp/babysitters_of_reddit_what_screams_well_this_kid/gouquxk?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Onyx_Owl</a></p>
When It's Time to Take Action<p>"I have a friend who worked in a daycare right out of college."</p><p>"There was a baby who came in everyday dirty and hungry, so when she changed the baby's diaper at the end of the day she would write the date and time on the diaper with a sharpie."</p><p>"That baby came back the next day with the same diaper.... 12 hours later. After a few days of that she called CPS."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsvvkp/babysitters_of_reddit_what_screams_well_this_kid/govd8uc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Chickiepie</a></p>
Illustrated in Socks<p>"Shi**y parents that doesn't care."</p><p>"I once babysat a little boy, from the time he was 1-3. His mom was busy going on vacation and partying."</p><p>"I remember as he grew he had less and less clothes, because he outgrown the ones he had. I remember he only had 1 pair of socks, because his mom would lose every fu**ing sock."</p><p>"I felt ashamed delivering him to the daycare with two different socks, all the time. It may not seem like a big deal, but look at it from a different POV: if you can't take care of a pair of socks, how are you gonna take care of a baby?"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsvvkp/babysitters_of_reddit_what_screams_well_this_kid/gotj4qy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">SantaStoleMyCar</a></p>
Sadly, Not a Priority<p>"Honestly, parents who don't care about the kid's education, for whatever reason. Probably, the parent didn't graduate high school in the first place and doesn't place a whole lot of value in education."</p><p>"Many of those kids (source: former teacher) end up working at McDonald's or struggling to find some other work. They don't even get into trades because you have to go to some kind of school for those, and school just isn't something they can 'do.' "</p><p>"This happened with my step-daughter, who is an absolutely wonderful person but her mom never cared how she did in school or even if she went. Hence her trying to make a living now at 25 by working in day cares, which does NOT pay very well."</p><p>"She wants to do other things but they'd all require school and she just says 'I hate school.' "</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsvvkp/babysitters_of_reddit_what_screams_well_this_kid/goto7an?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">DTownForever</a></p>
Nomenclature<p>"Knew a kid whose parents thought it was funny to tell him the wrong names for things. Socks were called turtles. Put your turtles on. Sh** like this."</p><p>"Wondered why he had screaming meltdowns in daycare then kindergarten etc until he was finally able to read by himself. In grade 4. Because spelling turtle s o c k doesn't give you any head starts."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsvvkp/babysitters_of_reddit_what_screams_well_this_kid/gouuned?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">dropthemasq</a></p>
A Very High Bar<p>"Smooth time."</p><p>"I babysat a 6 year old and his parents has a few strange rules, but Smooth Time was by far the worst." </p><p>" first day while walking through the routine, I was told every evening after bath time, I was to cover this kid head to toe in petroleum jelly to 'prevent cracks in his skin"'aka dry skin."</p><p>"It happened every morning as well, but the mom or dad did it then."</p><p>"I really don't think it was anything malicious, the other rules were similarly overly-cautious like the kid had to wear shoes at all times to prevent him hurting his feet, but that kid is gonna have a hard time at his first sleepover."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsvvkp/babysitters_of_reddit_what_screams_well_this_kid/gouw5o8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Rossthedinoguy</a></p>
Reactive Parenting<p>"Not a babysitter but had a classmate that had parents that knowingly taught him the wrong things to avoid him getting confused and eventually pulled him out of school after only a few years of him being in our school."</p><p>"They said for example that negative numbers don't actually exist, decimal points are just full stops for big numbers and so on and so forth."</p><p>"Parents also gave him waaaaay too much free reign; I live in an area of London that isn't the best for crime, i.e. you shouldn't really be letting children go to school by themselves until at least age 14-15 and if so at least with a few friends."</p><p>"By age 8 his parents allowed him to go to school by himself (he lived about 15 minutes away). He was also extremely clumsy and could be very rude."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsvvkp/babysitters_of_reddit_what_screams_well_this_kid/gotv6ok?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">[deleted]</a></p>
As a married woman, I learn more and more every day what it means to be in a romantic relationship. It is a constant learning experience, and even now, four years into being together, we still are learning more and more about each other.
This isn't just our relationship. In fact, this is a universal trend in all relationships. Most mistakes that we worry are specific to our relationship are actually common to every marriage or partnership. We've all been through it, man!
Disagreements happen. It’s better to face them head-on.<p>Trying too hard to avoid potential arguments to avoid conflict rather than hashing it out before the issue becomes too big to handle.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/noah9389/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Noah9389</a> / <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/backwoodshippy/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Backwoodshippy</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/backwoodshippy/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"></a>This I believe is the most important. At first, I was afraid to say things sometimes because I was so afraid that she might not see me the same or something. She was doing the same.</p><p>We both learned that love is love no matter what and any disagreements we can talk about and we may feel sad or hurt or upset but we never yell at each other, we simply talk it through and if it's something we both disagree on, we compromise. We have both had our small moody feelings but we always talk things through and so long as we stay true to each other I believe it will last forever.</p><p>I learned that when two people love each other so much, they will work together and be devoted to each other no matter what. And we have a strong relationship that I believe will last forever.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/SanelliGames/" target="_blank">SanelliGames</a></p>
Never ignore your problems!<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTcwNDg3Mi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzMzM0NDMyNH0.LRM6guAFJMI1mYLhBlHDydlZi_iLjjkdLpxlwPslXFI/img.gif?width=980" id="b1202" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="8b2e51f3df674b30f824e4f29539d40b" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="480" />GIF by In The Heights MovieGiphy<p>The most common mistakes that couples make are not actively listening to one another, taking their partner for granted, and pushing aside problems because they don't want to cause an argument.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/noah9389/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Noah9389</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/noah9389/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"></a>Also talk about what's bothering each other.</p><p>You got to work together to solve issues that come up, you can't just ignore them. That's how people end up leaving or cheating.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/similiarintrests/" target="_blank">Similarintrests</a><br></p>
Communication is key!<p>Not being able to communicate. You need to be able to voice when you are hurt without them taking it as an attack. You need to be able to hear your partner.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/sweetsubmarines/" target="_blank">Sweetsubmarines</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/sweetsubmarines/" target="_blank"></a>100% agree. Although I do think it's important to encourage learning how to communicate. Many adults just simply don't know how to do this and I do believe it's a learnable skill.<br></p><p>Should you waste your life with a partner who has no interest in self development and learning to communicate? Probably not. Should you discuss this with your SO who has poor communication skills and create a plan to work together and improve communication? Yes!</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Iwant2go2_there/" target="_blank">Iwant2go2_there</a></p>
Married life in a nutshell.<p>That love is a feeling. You can "fall" in love with someone but it's more of a choice to be deeply connected with this one person. Over time you constantly choose to love them through the good and the bad. If you base your entire relationship on how love is a feeling, you're most likely going to "fall out of love" with them.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/I_Like_To_Hunt_Eggs/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">I_Like_To_Hunt_Eggs</a></p>
DON’T do this.<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTcwNDg3OS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY2OTE0Mjg1OH0.Z3QjQBNduyjZc816fDmk7IowLwjc4Ms9XfGk3RtBUks/img.gif?width=980" id="02582" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="6e4a6d35608f5552f011b9ab70098cae" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="270" />will ferrell elf GIFGiphy<p>Labeling your partner the source of all your happiness and joy.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/blankblotter/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Blankblotter</a></p><p>100% this. I know the phrase "how can you be happy with someone else if you're not happy alone" has become hated because some people feel like it's saying "people with depression should never be in a relationship" but it's not really about that. As someone who has been put in the position of "someone's entire happiness and joy" it is extremely stressful. Because the flipside ends up being "I'm unhappy - how can my partner fix it??" even if it's not a conscious or intentional thing.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/themoogleknight/" target="_blank">Themoogleknight</a><br></p>
All of this.<p>Getting into a relationship too fast and not getting out of the relationship fast enough (especially prior to marriage).</p><p>When you're not in an official relationship with someone yet, it's pretty easy to walk away if you see problems. But once you're officially in a relationship with someone, you're more invested in them, and you're less likely to walk away when you see problems. So it's important to spend significant time getting to know someone before you start doing things that make you feel more reluctant to walk away (whether that be kissing them, calling them your boyfriend or girlfriend, or whatever), so that you will filter out more of the bad potential partners before they become actual partners and waste more of your time causing you more pain.</p><p>Once you're already in the relationship, it's important to communicate - to express your needs clearly and assess your partner's needs with empathy and care. And if you've expressed your needs clearly but your partner still does not meet them, then it's important to end the relationship. Hanging around hoping something will suddenly change somehow is wasting your time and also wasting your partner's time. It's a kindness to both of you if you just explain that since your needs still have not been met, you're leaving now.</p>
Big mistake.<p>Assuming your partner should know what you want if they love you. I struggled early in our marriage because the women in my wife's family are big on this. We worked on it and it took a bit, but we got to the point where we would only hold each other accountable to expressed words and thoughts. It has made all the difference in the world and 27 years of marriage have been mostly happy. Also, comparisons. Never say "Well my last SO did this" or " My family always did it another way". Good way to alienate a partner.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/TheUnblinkingEye1001/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">TheUnblinkingEye1001</a></p>
It will NEVER be even.<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTcwNDg5Mi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY2OTA4NTY4NH0.AzWdWl-RiMoylscXTgAhM6sf-zeE8Mft_qcq8IyQCRA/img.gif?width=980" id="b4c0f" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="916a31072aa0e411b328d1d553349b8e" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="400" data-height="400" />Shade Reaction GIF by BounceGiphy<p>Keeping score.</p><p>"I did the dishes three times two weeks ago, you only did them once last week."</p><p>"You got a new video game this month, why didn't I get something?"</p><p>Etc</p><p>It's never going to be completely even, things ebb and flow. Both side should feel like they're getting a fair shake overall but if you keep track of every little thing (even if it's just in your head, I don't necessarily mean like an actual list) it's just going to guarantee that somebody is always "losing". It's not a competition.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/sharrrper/" target="_blank">Sharrper</a></p>
Love’s not a game.<p>Treating dating as a game you're supposed to win instead of playing just for fun of it.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/AnAverageFreak/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">AnAverageFreak</a></p><p>Or even worse, treating any communication as something you're supposed to win, instead of using it to find a solution to a problem.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Zerokx/" target="_blank">Zerokx</a><br></p>
Such good advice.<p>I've always heard "Don't go to bed angry". Don't take that advice. Most times, you're both tired and it's late. Sleep on it and continue the conversation the next day.</p><p>Don't keep score.</p><p>Accept/admit when you've screwed up and move on.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/pop_corn26/" target="_blank">Pop_corn26</a></p>
There are things we accept as inherently bad – like predatory animals or unhealthy foods – because we are socialized to believe they are.