Traffic Cops Reveal How They Decide Who Gets a Ticket Or A Warning
[rebelmouse-image 18361483 is_animated_gif=But you might wonder sometimes how they do it. It seems like there is no rhyme or reason to who gets a traffic ticket, for example.
Well, suvdrummer is out to solve that mystery:
Traffic Cops of Reddit, how do you decide who gets a warning and who gets a ticket?
Here are some anecdotal secrets.
The Old Daughter Trick
[rebelmouse-image 18361484 is_animated_gif=Four years ago, my two daughters in the backseat. Oldest daughter is three. Sirens behind me. I pull over.
Daughter: Why did you stop? Me: The police pulled me over. Daughter: Why? Me: Because they have laws for driving on the road, and I broke one. (Silence until the officer approaches. I roll down my window.) Daughter (the dam breaks, tears flow like a waterfall): DONT TAKE DADDY TO JAIL! I LOVE HIM!
I got a warning.
Teens
[rebelmouse-image 18353248 is_animated_gif=I only pull over people for pretty unreasonable crap, so it's mostly a ticket.
It's not really contingent on my treatment. Being super charming is not a free pass. Why should it be?
Teenagers notwithstanding. They usually can't fake things very well. If they are nice, I take it was genuinely nice and I take that into consideration.
Don't Sass Me
[rebelmouse-image 18361485 is_animated_gif=I once got pulled over for having an "obstructed view". As the officer was telling me why I got pulled over I said, "Obstructed view? What do you mean? I saw you didn't I?"
Yeah, that was a ticket. First one.
Simple Solution
[rebelmouse-image 18361486 is_animated_gif=Cop here:
Most people get warnings.
Being an -sshole is a guaranteed way to turn that warning into a ticket.
Thanks?
[rebelmouse-image 18361487 is_animated_gif=Not a cop, but my boyfriend's family member is and my boyfriend was going through the process of becoming a cop so he went for a lot of ride alongs and stuff. One cop told him that he always gives the pretty girls tickets because they usually get a free pass and he always let's regular ones go because they usually don't get special treatment.
Traffique
[rebelmouse-image 18361488 is_animated_gif=99.9% of the time with me you're getting a warning. I could care less of your attitude, I just don't take that stuff personally. This applies to petty traffic offenses.
I tend to look for misdemeanor traffic (I.e. suspended/revoked license or DUI). These result in a zero discretion arrest.
Reverse Psychology
[rebelmouse-image 18361489 is_animated_gif=I was going 90 in a 40 (I thought it was a 70) when I got pulled over by an unmarked cop. I had just had some ice cream an hour or so earlier and I'm lactose intolerant. The most foul smells you can imagine . The cop came to my window and as I was rolling them down I let one rip and said "I'm sorry officer, I just really need to get to a bathroom."
I saw the stench hit his face and he backed away and said "I'm going to let you off with a warning, but the speed limit is 40 so you need to slow down. There's a gas station about 6 miles up on the left, they should have a restroom."
Nice Car, Now Pay
[rebelmouse-image 18354710 is_animated_gif=It's all on the person pulling you overs discretion since there isn't a golden set of rules to abide by.
Then there's the a**hole way, which is just tailing the car until they do something illegal.
This happened to me when I drove my bosses car, a Lexus LC500, a very very nice sports car. I was on the left most lane doing 70-75 mph, following traffic, keeping a 5 second distance between the car in front of me.
And I get flagged and pulled over. The cop on motorcycle was very obvious about tailing me too, told me straight up he saw me pull out of my work place, said he never seen a car like that and wanted to see what car I was driving so he followed me all the way up the highway.
Hands Up
[rebelmouse-image 18361490 is_animated_gif=I am not a cop, but my cousin was for like 20 years. He told me anything you can do to make the officer feel safer and not on edge goes a long way.
Getting pulled over on the interstate? Exit on to the service road or pull into a parking lot. Do not start digging for license and insurance until requested. Do you have a firearm in the car that may become visible? Explain that before you do anything that may make it visible, and ask how the officer would like to proceed.
A Heart
[rebelmouse-image 18350532 is_animated_gif=This will likely get lost, but I figured I'd share this (Not a cop but treated one well and got a warning)
Had a bad day, long story short best friends mom died and I was freaking out (I was close to her too). I found out and was speeding home to get to him. I blasted STRAIGHT through a stop sign. I literally saw the cop as I blew the sign, immediately knew I'd be pulled over.
Before he could even get into drive I was at the side of the road, parked, hands on the wheel with windows rolled down. I didn't make any excuses but my voice was shaky and distressed. He asked what was wrong, I briefly explained, and he just said to drive safe.
Will never forget that, but even if I didn't explain anything to him I like to think my actions helped my situation a bit
Requirements
[rebelmouse-image 18349245 is_animated_gif=My uncles and grandparents were all cops, im prior military, here's how you get out of a ticket.
- Be polite
- Hands on steering wheel
- Be a retired vet with cops in your family
Hold The Tongue
[rebelmouse-image 18361491 is_animated_gif=When I was a dispatcher the cops would always say "I wasn't going to give him a ticket, but he talked himself into one.". In other words keep your mouth shut unless the cop asks a question and, as much as I wish I didn't have to say this but be respectful!!
State V. Local
[rebelmouse-image 18361492 is_animated_gif=I work within a department and have had plenty of angry people come ask "HOW COME *_* DIDN'T GET A TICKET?!" And the answer is usually just "I'm sorry sir/mam but it's at the officers own personal discretion as to whether they want to issue a ticket at the scene of a accident." I actually recently had to pull ticket stats and several officers had less than 100 tickets for the whole year. So that whole "hurrdurr they have a quota" is bullsh-t. At least here.
Most of the guys/gals here don't go crazy just sitting and calling traffic all day to dole out tickets. And most of the time, even if they do issue a ticket, they will tell the subject that if they go to traffic court, the officer willingly will not show, and it will get thrown out.
From personal experience, state police LOVE to stop and write tickets for anything from 5mph over to something like a license plate light being out. Our locals aren't that bad.
No Rhyme Or Reason
[rebelmouse-image 18356114 is_animated_gif=My mood and how they act in our conversation. If it's a minor thing and they're polite and it sounds like it genuinely was an accidental thing i might let them off with a warning.
But i always get ready to write the ticket when i stop someone, giving them a warning instead is a somewhat rare for me to do.
Driving Record
[rebelmouse-image 18361493 is_animated_gif=State Trooper here. It really depends on what infraction you broke, your driving record, and how you acted upon first contact.
If you arent wearing a seat belt or speeding more than 12-15 mph over the limit you're getting a ticket every time. We stop a lot of cars looking for something more than just writing a ticket. I have never wrote a ticket for an equipment violation.
Simply being nice and having somewhat decent of a driving record will get you far. Or just be an old lady, we never write old ladies tickets its bad juju.
Attitude
[rebelmouse-image 18361496 is_animated_gif=No longer in the biz. But 99% of the time it was attitude and specifics to the amount over and location. 10 over on a main road at night, prolly a warning because I'm looking for DUIs etc. 10 over in a school zone = ticket. I personally much rather you be honest and say you "just went with the traffic flow" or "I didn't realize I was going quite that fast". Honesty works great. LPT: Don't. Argue. That's a pretty sure way to get a ticket. If a special enforcement event is happening, around a holiday etc, where the bosses are out you may get a ticket but if you're cool it may get "knocked down" to save you some money. Your results may vary.
Lay It Down
[rebelmouse-image 18361497 is_animated_gif=Actual Police Officer here. There is a lot of misinformation in this thread.
1) There are no ticket quotas. Police Officere don't get paid more for writing more tickets. Police Officers don't get punished for writing less/no tickets.
2) Some Police Officers are specifically assigned to the division of traffic safety or whatever their agency equivalent is. These Officers are specifically assigned to enforce traffic violations and document collision reports. They are highly unlikely to let you off with a warning. Motor Officers fall under this category as do most state troopers/highway patrol.
3) Most Officers are assigned to patrol and respond to 9-1-1 calls. These Officers are more likely to let you off with a warning because they have better things to do with their time (like eat or finish their reports) or are en route to a call.
4) Attitude matters. I have written plenty of young pretty girls tickets because they acted entitled to a warning. I have let a guy go for running a red light because he was on his way to a job fair after struggling to find work for several months (he owned up to the violation and was apologetic).
You are inconveniencing me by not driving correctly. You are taking time out of my day dealing with real criminals because I need to remind you how to drive. If you act like getting pulled over is an inconvenience to YOU, if you yell at me, start complaining about your rights or how this is whatever racial profiling you want to imagine before a greeting can even leave my lips, you are getting a ticket.
Roll your tinted windows down, keep your hands on the wheel, wait for instructions to get paperwork, own up to your mistake, apologize, and act like an actual human being: you'll be on your way and I'll be on mine.
Being Aware
[rebelmouse-image 18361498 is_animated_gif=Be somewhat pleasant.
Understand that there is a 95% chance I didn't stop you "for no reason".
Don't have actually put anyone's life in jeopardy in my presence(including mine) e.g. cruising through and crowded crosswalk/driving on the wrong side of the road
Have your kid properly buckled and strapped in (zero tolerance from me on this one). I've seen a couple dead kids
Don't try and be "slick". I've seen and heard it all, you're only going to dig yourself deeper into a hole.
If you're speeding. Don't be going double the speed limit. Everything else I take on a case by case basis (traffic/ weather/ quality of your automobile)
I have a million stories.
Blue Lights
[rebelmouse-image 18348751 is_animated_gif=99% of the time, it's decided by the time I hit the blue lights. A violation either is or isn't worth a ticket. Most of the time I draw the line at truly unsafe and purposeful behavior, like driving 40+ in a 20 mph school zone during bus drop off/pickup times.
The other 1% of the time I might change my mind if someone was going to get a warning but insists on arguing about the violation. The place to argue is court, and if you want to argue it I'll give you the chance to do that in front of a judge, which requires a ticket.
Helpful Rhymes
[rebelmouse-image 18361499 is_animated_gif=I had a cop tell me "9 you're fine, 10 you're mine"
Men Who've Gotten A Vasectomy Share Their Experiences
Reddit user GaleNotTheWind asked: 'Men of Reddit who have gotten a vasectomy, what was your experience?'
According to the Cleveland Clinic, over 50 million men have had a vasectomy.
Although avoiding sexual intercourse is the only effective way to avoid pregnancy, the male birth control procedure still has a low failure rate.
Those who are apprehensive about having a vasectomy fear the following: pain, impact on sex life, effectiveness, and side effects like cancer. (The National Cancer Institute and the American Urological Association have found that the procedure does not increase the risk of prostate cancer).
To seek some reassurance, Redditor GaleNotTheWind asked:
"Men of Reddit who have gotten a vasectomy, what was your experience?"
Guys discuss what happened after the snipping.
Making Sure
"For the love of God, do the follow-up appointment. The last thing you want is to be accidentally playing with a loaded gun."
– sleepypanda59
Wise To Wait
"The paper work I got for mine which was done less than 2 weeks ago said that you could have sex 2-3 days after but... definitely said to wait another few days."
– SisterPhister666
Follow Post-Surgical Procedures Or Else
"Had it done twice while living in Japan no less. Why twice? The first one failed."
"... apparently, so did the second (says my now 6 year old daughter)."
– shoelessmarcelshell
These men found that the procedure itself wasn't a big deal.
Assurance
"I was super anxious, but I had a great procedure. I was more freaked out about the shot of numbing agent to the balls, but it was legit nothing to worry about."
Normal In No Time
"Little operation, blue balls and no wanking for a week, then back to normal but without getting anyone pregnant."
– Bright_Composer_3901
"Made the mistake of having a pop after a couple of days. Jesus, the regret."
– Alante
Best Money Ever Spent
"When I woke up after the anesthesia - yes I asked to be put under, best $55 (after insurance) I ever spent - the caffeine headache I had upon waking was the most painful part. The preoperative instructions were nothing but water the evening before, no water for 4 hours before going under. The Safeway brand cola that the angel aftercare nurse brought me was pure refreshment."
– HarrumphingDuck
Cherry On Top
"Local anesthesia stings for a second or two then all you can feel is tugging after all is done the pain I would describe is like blue balls for like 2 days tops. I took a week off work recommend by doctor since I’m a construction worker and the heavy lifting but I felt like after day 3 I was good to go. Cons: minor pain discomfort, no hanky panky until last semen sample came out clear. Pros: , no unplanned pregnancies(it’s still possible very rarely)."
– Secure_Requirement84
Some final thoughts.
Only Pros
"To me, the only bad part was the smell of the cauterization of my vas deferens.. the procedure was fine. Local anesthesia before and during just felt slight tugging no pain. Recovery was easy. No pain. No cons. Only pros. And if absolutely need be it’s reversible. Much easier and less invasive than a woman getting her tubes tied and significantly less harmful than birth control. I’m an advocate. Get it done!"
– PunchARacist
One Unsettling Thing
"For me, it wasn’t the smell but watching the little puffs of smoke during the cauterization. That was truly and deeply unsettling."
"Otherwise, yeah, nothing major to report. Stayed in bed for a day watching old horror movies and assembling a Lego plant. Pretty much business as usual after that."
– GuestCartographer
The One Constant
"Got a vasectomy, it worked. Got it reversed, that worked.... twice Got another vasectomy...17 years later, all good. Just go to a legit great Dr. I mean top of the field Dr. For ANY messsin around down there. Vasectomy is WAY easier now than 25-30 years ago. In/out in an hour... The only thing that hasn't changed? ... The bag of frozen peas ..😂"
– richwat00
Vasectomies are performed via two methods, the incision vasectomy or a no-scalpel vasectomy, and both use local anesthesia to numb the scrotum.
Always consult a healthcare provider before undergoing the procedure and–most importantly–make sure you don't want to have children or that you and your spouse don't want to add additional family members.
Based on the anecdotes above, there's nothing to fear, so feel free to man up and get to snipping.
The Scariest Yet Most Realistic Films About The Future Ever Made
I've always enjoyed a good scare on film and my Mother indulged my preferences as she also loved a good horror film.
While we thoroughly enjoyed a good Disney movie together, I was also allowed to watch Jaws, The Exorcist and The Omen before I was 10 years old.
Slashers and sci-fi frights were good, but to me the most effective scares involved nightmarish scenarios that might easily happen in the not so distant future.
For me, growing up Roman Catholic meant demonic possession and the AntiChrist were on the list of plausible fears.
But what films offered possible Hellscapes for others?
Reddit user beefgulash asked:
"What is the scariest—yet most realistic—future film ever made?"
Threads
"I thought that BBC’s nuclear holocaust Threads was much more terrifying and depressing than United States TV movie The Day After."
~No-Distance425
"Threads might genuinely be the most terrifying thing I’ve ever seen."
~ ThorCoolguy
Her
"Her. Everyone is so online that they lost the ability to make human connections, to the point where it's a business for the main character to write personal letters on behalf of others."
"So lonely, he easily falls in love with an AI and the only one who still feels real emotions, his ex wife (Rooney Mara), is treated like a crazy person."
"With everyone too online and severely lonely, we are practically living in that emotional dystopia now."
~ grandmofftalkin
Children of Men
"Children of Men. You want to know what makes it so scarily realistic?"
"Alfonso Cuaron deliberately shot scenes in East London and asked the production designers to make it 'more Mexican'—in other words, make it look even more run-down than it already was."
"Cuaron leaned in on his own experiences in growing up in Mexico and seeing everyday poverty to bring that to look and feel to a futuristic London. The future-London isn't a gleaming metropolis—it's a metropolis on the verge of collapse and giving up."
"The battle scenes weren't fantastical as so many sci-fi dystopian films often are: they're based on real, real conflicts. Cuaron was smart to include imagery from the then-current Iraq invasion and the atrocities committed in Abu Ghraib to jar the viewer's thoughts and attentions just long enough to make them feel queasy."
"The shots of illegal immigrants in cages were disturbing then—well, they should be f*cking frightening now. Cuaron and the production designers saturated that film with little visual snippets of then-current events and fictional future atrocities to make it a highly believable—and scary—world."
~ PureDeidBrilliant
Contagion
"Contagion—a movie about a coronavirus outbreak, that pre-dated COVID-19."
~ glrd1
"When I saw that movie in theaters, there was someone coughing a few rows behind. Like, big, wet, juicy coughs..."
"I hated that immersive movie experience."
~ only_bubble_sort
"The fast killing virus that spreads around the world was a bit unrealistic but man was it a trip watching this during lockdowns."
"I'd never heard of 'social distancing' until the pandemic and it and other pandemic facts of life coming out in the movie hit home."
~ Dmzm
A Scanner Darkly
"A Scanner Darkly. A large amount of the population have become drug addicts, the government enacts a total police state, and the addicts slowly descend into insanity, and eventually are put into rehab once their brains are fried.
"Once they are 'rehabed' (they are basically lobotomized, or brainwashed) they are sent to work on large corporate farms."
"The same corporations that own the rehabs, also own the farms, and they are also the ones growing the illicit drugs that cause the whole problem."
~ CmTrumpet
The Road
"The Road. I remember seeing the premiere of it at a film festival and the director and cast were there and all smiles and jokes and so happy to be there…and then the movie plunged all of us into pure despair for 2 hours."
~ Other-Marketing-6167
"I read the book multiple times before the movie came out."
"The movie makes your heart break, but the book destroys your soul and will to live for like a week after reading."
~ Some-Philly-Dude
WALL-E
"WALL-E. The fact that Pixar showed everyone a very real future Earth if we continue down the path we're on and nobody did anything about it speaks volumes. Everyone knows sh*t's f*cked."
"I'm rooting for the roomba with solar panels who gets outside after we've annihilated ourselves, enjoy fulfilling your set purpose lil' dude."
~ Shes_dead_Jim
Gattaca
"Gattaca. If you ever watch it again listen to how they talk about him and his 'condition'."
"It’s all 'could” and 'might' and 'possibly' and similar caveats."
"His only 'condition' was being a natural birth and not a designer baby."
~ pocket-friends
RoboCop
"RoboCop. Dude dies at work. Gets resurrected to continue working."
"Also the whole bit about corporations privatizing public services."
"Feels like we're gonna be there in a few years."
~ Gentleman_Jack90
Elysium
"Elysium strikes me as the most realistic, as far as the social structure."
"You have an ultra rich class, a mercenary type 'middle' class, and everyone else is fighting for the scraps."
~ Maliluma
"Sure seems like the logic extension of the widening global gap between a few ultra-wealthy and the rest of the population."
"The ultra-wealthy already are invested in space travel, colonizing Mars, island compounds and extreme longevity."
~ RichardBonham
Logan's Run
"Logan's Run, it's a bit of a cult classic."
"In the future, there are limited places for humans to live, so everyone has an 'expiration date' regardless of how healthy they are."
"Everyone has to die before a certain age. I won't spoil it in case anyone wants to see it."
"It's an old school sci-fi movie that I have loved since I was a kid."
~ macmac360
12 Monkeys
"No one mentioned 12 Monkeys yet?"
"Found it super realistic and scary."
~ mrs_anouk
Soylent Green
"Soylent Green solves both problems of overpopulation and food scarcity.... so, maybe it will happen."
"I just hope they think of 3rd Degree Burn Scorchin' Habanero Soylent Green when they do it."
~ ketchuptheclown
Metropolis
"Metropolis. Complete masterpiece in my opinion."
~ CaptianOfCows
Idiocracy
"Idiocracy."
~ BrilliantlyClueless
"I like to believe that somewhere in that world a pocket of smart people retreated to someplace isolated like New Zealand and persisted."
~ notapunk
Zombies! 🧟♂️🧟♀️🧟
Personally, I love zombie movies based on the concept from George A. Romero's classic Night Of The Living Dead.
Zombies existed in myths and legends before Romero's film, but not in the way they do now in popular culture.
Romero's movies also always included social commentary on economic inequality, racism and the ills of unbridled capitalism.
To me zombie films show how people would react in a viral health crisis and our recent pandemic made them all the more real.
So what movies do you think are scary because they're too real?
The Worst Reasons Cheaters Have Given To Justify Their Infidelity
Infidelity in marriages isn't as widespread as people think. While some cynics would have us believe faithful partners are scarce, they account for over 4 out of 5 spouses.
Still, 16% of married couples in the United States admitted to being unfaithful at some point in their marriage.
And 57% of divorces were due to cheating.
In marriages where infidelity occurs, but doesn't result in divorce, the loss of trust is still a problem. It can make emotional and physical intimacy challenging.
So why do people cheat instead of ending their relationship before moving on?
Reddit user littlehoneybear2104 asked:
"What is the worst reason you've heard for cheating on someone?"
What's Old Is New Again
"He wanted to try something new."
"He cheated on me with his ex."
~ meeez80
GiphyPreemptive Strike
"Just in case he would ever cheat on me, I cheated first, so it's his fault for possibly cheating on me in the first place."
~ Competitive_Bat4986
Mission Accomplished
"To have a reason to end the relationship."
~ chewie_33
Tough Enough
"He said I'm strong and I can handle it."
"Like WTF? Does that give someone a free pass just to cheat?"
"Like we ain't tolerating that too. Done with that person."
~ drn-07
GiphyDream On
"Ex cheated on me because I cheated on her in a dream shehad and she was sure it was a sign that I was unfaithful in real life."
~ Craigothy-YeOldeLord
Oops!
"It was an accident."
"Yeah, 'I tripped and fell into her vagina' sounds legit."
~ dabbad525
GiphyGrow Up
"You didn’t show me enough attention the past few years! You didn’t take me anywhere! I’m the baby in my family, I need attention!”
"I worked 3 jobs, played with the kids, and finished a degree… during COVID while EVERYWHERE was closed."
~ hephaestus1219
Lockdown
"I was together with her for 14 years, married for 6 and this dipsh*t said we stagnated for a year during COVID because we didn’t go out anywhere...because she was deathly afraid of COVID."
"Some people are so pathetically stupid."
~ Virgin_nerd
GiphyUnsupervised
"My best friend in high school/college claimed it was my fault she cheated on her boyfriend because I left them in the room alone together with the she cheated with."
~ Smart_Form_9569
Too Perfect?
"My ex said it was because I was 'too perfect' and that he couldn't live up to the standard I had set by being who I was."
~ MarvelousShiggyDiggy
Trauma Response
"My cousin’s ex said she felt she had to hook up with the guy working the front register at Walgreens because of the events of 9-11."
"I’m not even kidding. This was on 9-11."
"She apparently was so upset she staggered into Walgreens and fell on the first guy she saw."
~ Big_Psychology_4210
In The Stars
"My ex cheated on me because 'August has new energy'—something to do with astrology. And yes, I mean the month August, not someone named August."
~ Frog-Thing
Giphy*yawn* 🥱
"The relationship just got boring"
"Their marriage seemed perfect inside and out, except she got bored of being a wife and mother."
"She tried fighting for the marriage after her affair partner died of a heart attack and husband called her out on her bullsh*t."
~ DevilinDeTales
Some people aren't meant for commitment, but that should be something they disclose to their partners before they cheat.
It would avoid a lot of wasted time and heartbreak.
When it comes to flirting, everyone has their preferences of how they like to be flirted with. Some people like cleverly crafted pickup lines.
I always thought pickup lines were a cheap way to get someone's attention. That being said, there are some good ones out there. I've been on the receiving end of both. "On a scale from one to America, how free are you tonight?" and, "You must be the square root of two because I feel irrational around you."
Both got me to engage in conversation, and I even dated the guy who used the first one for a while.
I'm not the only one that knows some good pickup lines. Redditors have both heard and used some pickup lines and are eager to share their favorites.
It all started when Redditor Sauce_Dealer420 asked:
"What's the best pickup line of all time?"
Read It And See
"You put the sexy in dyslexic."
– koookyko
"This made me laugh so hard."
"Because I can read properly."
– TappedIn2111
I'm Hooked
"This girl I used to work with and I went to a bar after work and we’re having fun, and she leans over to tell me a joke. And she says:"
"Three boy mice and a girl mouse were all stuck in a room with no doors and no windows. One of the boy mice asked the girl mouse how to get out and she said, “Sleep with me tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning.""
"The next day, he is gone. The second boy mouse asks the girl mouse how he got out and she says, “Sleep with me tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning.""
"Next day, he’s gone too."
"So now the girl telling me this joke says to me, “Do you want to know how the last mouse gets out of the box?”
"And I say “yes.""
"And she says, “Sleep with ME tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning”. All this while staring me in the eyes and smiling."
"I said, “Check please bartender!!""
"I forgot to ask her in the morning, but that was the best pickup line I’ve ever heard."
– reb678
Statistics
"The odds we sleep together are 50% because half of us agree so far."
– AlfheimKitteh
"Math is always super sexy."
– Acceptable-News-6811
Money, Money, Money
"Hey girl, are you the English financial system? Because I'm about to give you a weak pound."
– onemanwolfpack21
"Yo girl, do you know exchange rates? Because Euro 10."
– kkirchhoff
Winner, Winner
""Are you a magician? Cuz every time I look at you, everyone else disappears.""
"This line got me a wife and three kids. 😊"
– PRSHZ
One Liners
"Are you a beaver? Cuz damn."
– Starry_Night-
"If you were a fruit you'd be a fineapple."
– Slainna
"Hi, do you want to go for a ride on a Harley?"
"(My name is Harley) 😁"
– OMNIxvTRIX
No Losers
"If I asked you for a date would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this question?"
– SchemePale6222
"I got blue screen in my head."
"Explain please."
– TastyToothpasta
"You can't lose. Say no, the answer is yes. Say yes, the answer is also yes."
"Dang sounds kinda creepy writing it out like that. Still clever wordplay though."
– Steeze_Schralper6968
Clever
"My go-to was always:"
"I used to be a history teacher, so I know lots of important dates. Want to help me make another one?"
"A little corny, but it usually worked."
– StuffToday
Refreshing
"That one actually worked with my ex on the first try."
"-Hey, do you like water?"
"-Yes."
"-Then you like me in 70% already."
– azurskyy
Sneaky
"Would you date a complete stranger?"
"If she says “yes” you’re in."
If she says “no.”
“Then allow me to introduce myself.”"
– Blastspark01
Playing Coy
"Once a girl came to me and told there was somebody who thought I was cute."
"I asked her who and she said “Me.""
– evil_boy4life
Prop Lines
"You have to have a handful of limes available to do this:"
"Hold the limes, drop the limes in front of the lucky person. Then say 'Sorry, I'm not very good at pick up limes.'"
– cannibalcats
Egg-cellent
"Best one that worked for me was:"
"Me: How do you like your eggs?"
"Her: Over easy, why?"
"Me: Just making sure I have things right for when I make you breakfast in the morning."
– Radiant_Boss4342
The Best Line
"How you doin?"
– 2x4x93
"There was a time when this was the ONLY line you could use!"
– JohnsLong_Silver
That line would definitely work on me!