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People Reveal Which Things They 100% Judge Someone For

Reddit user dolphinsR4evr asked: 'What is something you have a hard time not judging people about?'

man wearing Nike camouflage t-shirt

Oliver Ragfelt on Unsplash

The Bible advises people to judge not, lest they be judged.

Which seems to have been lost in translation for too many purported adherents to its teachings.

On a secular level, we're told to not judge a book by its cover, but sometimes...

Sometimes it's hard not to get judgy.

Reddit user dolphinsR4evr asked:

"What is something you have a hard time not judging people about?"

Parents

"Being proud of being awful and absolute a**holes to their children."

~ YamAnxious

"I (female, 15) was on a train with my mother (female, 50) a couple years ago. We were enjoying our trip, laughing and playing together."

"We were sitting next to a man and his wife. They were about 60 years old."

"He started talking to us out of the blue and he said some things like 'a mother and her daughter shouldn't be friends', 'a daughter should hate her mother bc she's strict', and randomly bringing up his children."

"When we got off the train, we looked at each other and laughed about it, but I actually felt so bad about his kids."

~ justlookawaybruh

Give a Hoot

"Leaving trash in nature or anywhere really. I don't get it."

~ AbsoluteEva

"One of my pet peeves are people who throw their empty beer or energy drink cans off ski lifts."

"The lifties have to hike up the hill with trash bags picking up the litter. The people who do this have no respect for nature or the employees."

~ sretep66

Where Ya Headed?

"People who don't use their turn signals."

~ cutiecakepiecookie

"Even better, the ones who turn on the turn signal after they’re already turning."

~ SomeKindoflove27

"At least in these instances, it might just be a last second 'oh f'k sorry I forgot'."

"The ones who never use it are entitled."

~ GeneralZaroff1

"They shall hence be known as after-turners."

~ bryfy77

"How about the ones that have their blinkers on to move Right but move Left?"

~ MealComprehensive865

"No" Is A Complete Sentence!

"People pressuring others to do something after the other person already said 'no'."

~ Orchid_wildflower

"As someone who just doesn't enjoy drinking, it's so tiring answering the same questions at every single function."

"'No. I don't want a drink. No. I'm not an alcoholic. Thank you for the concern. I just don't want to drink'."

"It's like it's unfathomable for someone not to enjoy drinking."

~ TheDarkKnightFell

"'You’re just having a coke? Why‽‽'”

"Because it actually tastes good, it’s half the price, I can drive home after and I can actually enjoy my day tomorrow.”

~ Majestic-Marcus

"I AM an alcoholic and was amazed at how many people I considered to be friends tried this when I quit drinking."

"'Oh just a few won't hurt', 'you can't really have a problem if it was that easy to stop', 'don't worry', etc..."

~ yerbard

"5.5 years sober here."

"It. Is. Wild!"

"People will straight up try and bully you into drinking like, nah..."

~ jessieesmithreese519

"I gave up alcohol and marijuana last summer. I rarely socialize anymore with people outside my family."

"Seems like everyone in my age group needs some type of substance in order to relax and hang out. I'm especially put off by the wave of women calling wine 'mommy juice'."

~ Mammoth_Monk1793

"I hate how much of this culture's socialization is based around some type of substance use."

"So we can't just hang out and talk? We need to smoke, or drink, or some other bullsh*t??"

~ MrProdigal884

Special Place in Hell

"Poor treatment of pets."

~ Willing-Survey7448

"Buying a $3500 puppy for their kid at Christmas and dumping the dog at the pound a few months later when they realize how challenging raising a cute puppy can be. I will judge you."

"*glances down at purebred husky from pound sitting on couch snuggling with favorite toys….*"

~ lightpennies

"I see that often (I volunteer at our local shelter) and it really makes me angry seeing the people come in and just surrender the dog because they couldn't be bothered to put in the time and dedication."

"Dogs aren't a damn appliance. They are living, breathing beings with feelings."

"There honestly should be a database that those people get added to that prevents them from ever having a dog in the future if that's the reason why they are surrendering a dog (or any other animal)."

"And I get that there are legimate reasons for surrendering an animal (owner dies and surviving family cannot properly care for it, loss of housing and job, etc...)."

~ FirehawkLS1

"I once knew a woman who moved in with her boyfriend like people do. They both had dogs. Dogs did not get along."

"She'd had her dog 4 years and just went, ok I'll take it to the pound and give it up since they won't stop fighting. After only one month."

"Then complained about being sad for her lost dog (that went to one of those, if it doesn't get adopted, it'll get put down, places)."

"Her boyfriend just bought her a new dog to raise and train with his dog."

"I was so disgusted, I am not friends with them anymore."

~ TheMightyBluzah

Move Along

"Being oblivious of how much space they're taking up in public."

"I used to work in a building where you had to swipe your key card to enter through a turnstile, and the system was a bit slow. They were around 400 people working there, you can imagine how there was always a queue."

"Every day there was some d*ckhead having a conversation in front of the turnstiles, completely ignoring the people wanting to pass."

"Every day there was some dude getting to the front of the queue and only then realizing they needed their key card to get through."

"Everybody knew how annoying the process was, how can you care that little about other people?"

"Related: Placing your backpack on a seat in a crowded bus/train, blocking a supermarket aisle with your trolley."

~ thursday-anywhere

Use Your Indoor Voice

"Being extremely loud and bragging in a public place or restaurant."

~ anonnautilus

"I will never forget the time I rode a train late at night and one family took up half the car with their kids. They ran around making an absolute ruckus."

"One older lady politely asked if they could quiet down since 'everyone was tired'."

"The acting matriarch of the group yelled at her, 'Don't you dare tell my kids what to do! Hey, Kids! You can be AS LOUD AS YOU WANT!!!'."

"'Yaaaaay!'."

"I have to imagine they all grew up to be total a**holes."

~ PorkRoll2022

"And that's my neighbor. She encourages her kids to yell and scream, and joins in with them....encouraging them by yelling 'This is OUR HOUSE!'."

"She's actually the first adult I've ever met who had her kids on the lawn on July 4th, whooping and yelling 'USA! USA! Number ONE!!'."

"Yeah, I think we all judge her."

~ Francesca_N_Furter

Don't Be a Richard

"I hate people that feel the need to constantly bring others down and make them feel bad about things they enjoy."

"It's so sad to watch someone's enthusiasm about their hobby deflate because another person decided to be a d*ck about it."

~ ReporterOk4531

"Working with kids, it’s something I try to nip in the bud. Unfortunately, there’s way too many adults doing that to kids."

"My cousins’ dreams were crushed as kids by the adults in my family. Talents went to waste because of that. Even as a child myself, I knew it was wrong."

~ mstrss9

STFU, Tom!

"Man I think of myself as a relatively tough person who generally dgaf what people think of me, but I'm 38 and overweight and I realized I wanted to try roller blading again (this was abt 8 mos after having my third child)."

"This one d*ckhead neighbor was out in his yard and made fun of me to my face as I skated up the road (legit first time roller blading in like 20 years) and I haven't put them back on since."

"I even said 'hey don't give me a hard time, I haven't done this in years!' And he rolled his eyes and said 'yeah I can tell'."

"He made me feel so small and stupid. I'm mad at myself for not being tougher than that idiot's stupid comments."

~ allegedlys3

"He's a bully. So sorry this happened. Can't wait for you to try again. I learned to do pull-ups very late in life. Took me months."

"Everyone at the gym was very encouraging. I would never have made it without the extra support. My family was not as supportive."

"This is me supporting you. Go get em! You got this!"

~ VelcroSea

"Just remind yourself that people who make fun of someone making an effort are the biggest losers on the planet."

"Losers hate to watch people on the path to success."

~ rm-rd

"Yeah--OP, he's the small and stupid one. And if you can manage it, re-rollerblading will be both fun on its own AND a major victory against your a-hole neighbor."

~ Cat_Prismatic

"I hope you put the blades back on and either give him the finger or wear a shirt that says 'shut the hell up Tom' whenever youre outside blading your troubles away."

~ sinverguenza

"To all you subcommenters, you are a lovely group of people and thank you so much for your encouragement! Yeah, f'k that guy."

"When I get the guts up to go try again (I'll prob wait a few weeks til it's not hotter than the devil's taint outside), I will think of y'all."

~ allegedlys3

Well, 💩

"Not cleaning up after their dog. Just get a doggy bag people."

~ jfg1435

"There’s crap all over sidewalks in my neighborhood. I just can’t fathom the mindset of these people that won’t pick up after their dogs."

~ zrayburton

"It's even worse when there's trashcans next to free doggy bags on the neighborhood trail, and you still see dogsh*t all over the place. Zero f'king excuse at that point besides being a lazy pr*ck."

~ Pooonther

"Especially people who own large dogs. Like excuse me this is what you signed up for when you got your large a** dog."

"At my old apartment complex there was dog sh*t EVERYWHERE and it was always the human sized ones. So disgusting."

"If I ever see someone not picking it up I will absolutely yell at them."

~ AudreyFish

Excuse You

"People with no sense of self awareness, so they stop in the middle of walkways, entrances or crosswalks for no reason."

~ progressiveanarchy

"And grocery aisles. At least apologize if blocking the aisle."

~ weaselblackberry8

"Yeah people get way too absorbed in what they personally have going on, and are totally oblivious to their surroundings as a result."

~ zakku_88

"My husband was this person. Absolutely no awareness of the inconsiderate mess."

"When we first took a trip together and he stopped in the middle of the airport and put his bag down I was like… 'I Don't Know WHERE you learned this but you don’t do this anymore'."

"And now he’s learned."

~ BusinessClassBarbie

Abandon Ship

"A parent leaving and ignoring one family to get a new significant other and raise that persons children."

~ blyblotbloidberg

"Generally it is getting a new partner (who doesn’t have kids) AND create a new batch of kids, forgetting the existing kids."

~ VeganMonkey

"This happened to a friend of mine. Thirty years ago his mother walked out, abandoning him and his sister."

"They were both under ten years old. She never contacted them again. She moved on and had more kids with someone else."

"Things like that always kind of surprise me because we’ve all been conditioned to expect mothers to always love and want to take care of their children. Mother love is supposed to be unconditional, right?"

"Sadly, not always. Sometimes there are extenuating circumstances, sometimes not. My friend does not really know why his mom left them."

"Nowadays he says he doesn’t care because it’s been so long that it feels to him like she died—but I think he still hurts. Everybody needs a mother sometimes."

"Sometimes people are just sh*tty for no good reason. It’s hard to accept."

~ miniguinea

"Overheard a convo a mom was having with her pre/early teen daughter at a restaurant once. I was their server."

"Essentially daughter had to go live with her dad because they didn't have enough room in moms new family."

"The specific phrase 'I have a new family now' was used. I haven't mentioned it yet, but mom was preggo."

"Lots of tears and mom came across as a complete a**hole."

~ ElbisCochuelo1

Sometimes we as a society are too judgmental.

But there are times it's really difficult not to judge someone's words or actions.

What do you find hard not to judge?

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judging

Old Wives' Tales People Still Believe For Some Reason

"Reddit user the_spring_goddess asked: 'What is an old wives tale that people still believe?'"

Close up of an owl tilting their head to side, looking bewildered
Photo by Josh Mills

The old wives' tales.

They are the stories of legend.

I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.

Where did they originate?

WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!

You don't hear about them as much anymore.

It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.

But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.

Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:

"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"

"Wait an hour to swim after eating."

What a crock!

So many summer hours wasted.

I want revenge for that one.

Say Nothing

Giphy

"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."

LonelyMail5115

"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."

I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA

Say Something

"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."

Severe_Airport1426

"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."

crappycurtains

"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."

AlbinoShavedGorilla

Body Temps

"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."

chriseo22

"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."

"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."

apocalypticradish

Arms Down

"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."

Fatmouse84

10 Years Actually

Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine Giphy

"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."

REDDIT

"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."

Gecko-911

I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.

This tale is haunting.

High/Low

Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace Giphy

"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."

LeastFormal9366

"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."

IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI

The Cursed

"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."

"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."

SmoreOfBabylon

Stay In

"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."

"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."

worldbound0514

Dreams and Facts

"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."

"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."

mattshonestreddit

"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."

Darthdemented

Cracked

Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office Giphy

"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."

Choice-Grapefruit-44

"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."

MacyTmcterry

I love my knuckles.

Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.

old wives tales

People Who Wouldn't Quit Their Job If They Won The Lottery Explain What They Do

lottery tickets
Erik Mclean on Unsplash

A lot of workers daydream about some day winning the lottery and being able to say goodbye to their job.

Far too many workers are unhappy with their job duties, workplace dynamics or company culture.

But with a taste for luxuries like housing and food, they keep plugging away, year after year.

However not everyone feels that way about their job.

So what are these compelling careers?

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work

People Describe The Most 'Small Town' Thing They've Ever Witnessed

Aerial view of a church in a small town
Sander Weeteling/Unsplash

There's something comforting about living in a small town.

It's characterized by close communities where neighbors know each other by name and there is an abundance of kindness extended to others.

Gift-giving is a commonality, as is the sharing of recipes, and people going out of their way to help each other in a time of need.

The pace of living in small towns is also a striking contradiction to city life, where crowds of people go about their busy lives without much interaction.

Curious to hear more examples of what small town living is like, Redditor official_biz asked:

"What's the most 'small town' thing you've witnessed?"

These are positive examples of a tight-knit community.

Live Updates

"We have a village Facebook page. Every time the ice cream man drives into the village, the entire page goes ballistic. People send live updates of where the van is and which direction he's heading. The ice cream man has started accepting DMs so he knows which streets to go down."

– PyrrhuraMolinae

Brush With The Law

"I’m from a town of less than 2,000 people. When I worked at the grocery store there people would often drop off stuff for my family members because they didn’t want to drive all the way down to our house. I no longer live there but recently got a call from my daughter. She had been stopped for speeding and handed over her license and insurance which happens to be in my mother’s name. The officer goes 'Hey, you’re Donnie’s granddaughter! I ain’t gonna write you a ticket but I’m telling Donnie when I see him tomorrow cause we’re going fishing.' She replied 'I think I’d rather have the ticket.'”

- Reddit

Roadside Catchup

"The traffic on the 'main street' of my town is so sparse, two drivers going opposite directions can stop and talk to each other for a few minutes without causing any problem."

– anon

When things go wrong, people take notice without incident.

Bank Robbery

"A guy robbed a bank and everyone knew immediately who he was and the teller got mad at him."

– AlexRyang

"A local bank was robbed and one of the tellers told the police to bring her a yearbook from about ten years earlier and she would be able to point the robber out. He had been in the grade before hers in school."

– Strict_Condition_632

Wise Woman

"When I worked at the bank in town there was an older lady that had worked there through 5 mergers."

"She knew everyone, there was a young guy yelling at me one day. She walked out of the back and he immediately quieted. She went off about telling his grandmother that he was treating young women like sh*t. She also said that if he didn’t straighten up not one girl in town would ever marry him she would make sure of it."

– ilurvekittens

Intoxicated Local

"Town drunk was paralyzed and used a motorized wheelchair to get around. I was driving home one Saturday night and said town drunk was passed out in his wheelchair doing circles almost directly in the town square. Had to call his brother who came and picked him up on a rollback truck. Strapped him down and drove off into the cold dark night."

– DoodooExplosion

Grazing Over To The Bar

"In my former small town, there was an older guy who'd lost his license after getting a few DUIs. Every day, he would ride his John Deere lawnmower to the corner bar around 3PM and sit around watching TV and sipping his beer well into the night. Then he'd head the couple miles back home on his mower. He even had a little canvass shell he put on when it rained or got too cold."

– brown_pleated_slacks

It's not surprising how small town people behave differently than those who are from metropolitan areas.

Welcoming Committee

"I lived in a small town. When I moved there, people would ask, 'Whose house did you buy?'"

–MoonieNine

"Move to a small town. 30 years later, you are still the new guy."

– impiousdrifter

"I lived in a small town for most of my childhood but I wasn't "from there" because my grandparents weren't from there."

– raisinghellwithtrees

"Worked with an older guy, relative of the owner of the business, he was 73. I asked him if he was a local, he said 'no his parents moved here when he was two.'"

– realneil

A Busy Day

"Lived in a town of about 5,000: A woman walked into the DMV on a Friday, saw that there were 3 people ahead of her and left to come back another time when they weren't so busy."

– KenmoreToast

Who Let The Dogs Out?

"My dogs got out while i was working. the police called my niece's elementary school (she was a 5th grader) to get her to round them up and take them back home."

– mediocrelpn

"There was a small kennel behind the police station for runaways. They called us saying they had our dog, and moments later our dog showed up home. He broke out of jail."

– Worried_Place_917

While life in a small town sounds appealing, I don't know if I can ever live in one.

I'm so used to life in big cities, I think it would be quite unnerving to adjust in a neighborhood where everyone literally knows your business.

I would be paranoid.

And I'm sure the same could be said of life in the big city.

Would you consider making the switch to life in a different setting?

living

The Wittiest Things People Have Ever Heard Someone Say

Two women laughing
Photo by Dave George on Unsplash

Every now and then, a friend of ours might say something, or we might overhear a complete stranger say something that makes us stop in our tracks.

More often than not, what we can't believe we just heard is something so ridiculous, we can't help but put the person who said it in their place.

Other times, however, what we just heard might have stunned us silent because of how shockingly clever it was.

Resulting in our not wanting to scold or yell at someone, but rather give them a handshake.

Redditor SubmergingOriginal was curious to hear the sharpest and wittiest things they've ever heard, from friends and strangers alike, leading them to ask:

"Enough with the dumbest; what is the wittiest thing you've ever heard someone say?"

Don't Give Me So Much Credit...

'I was on a team at work that was on a project working insane overtime."

"One night after an 80-90 hour week, we were all sitting around the table trying to finish up so we could go home."

"Around 11, my buddy's wife called, dubious about the hours he'd been keeping."

"We heard her through the line - 'are you cheating on me?'"

"Exasperated, he looked at our boss, then replied 'honey, if I was cheating on you, I would have been home by now'."- lionbatcher

Eternal Optimism...

"Asked a blind guy if he'd been blind his whole life."

"He said 'Not yet'."- Feeling_Mode_6465

Free time Isn't The Only Thing He Has On His Hands...

"My brother got a vasectomy and when the doctor was releasing him and giving him instructions (with the nurse listening in), one of the orders was to 'come back and have a follow-up appointment after you’ve ejaculated 30 times'.”

"Without missing a beat my brother asked 'what time do you open tomorrow?'”

"The nurse couldn’t keep it together after hearing that."- UtahUtopia

Awkward Season 8 GIF by The Office Giphy

Double Whammy!

"My pal uses the phrase 'he doesn’t look strong enough to carry information' and it cracks me up every time."

"Calling someone stupid and weak in one fell swoop."- JennyW93

Can't Hide Your DNA...

'Whenever I jokingly insult my mum, she says 'that must be where you get it from'."

"She cracked the code."

"I can never offend her without offending myself."- JennyW93

Self-Sufficient!

"My brother was a line cook at a New Orleans restaurant."

"My mom was in town, staying at a fancy hotel, and he stopped by after work, still wearing his kitchen whites."

"He was reading a newspaper in the lobby waiting for her to come down when the shocked lobby manager sputtered at him, 'MAY I HELP YOU!?!?'

"He answered, 'thanks, but I know how to read',” and went back to his paper."- jobrody

Morph Current Affairs GIF by Aardman Animations Giphy

A Miracle!

"My brother-in-law’s comment."

"The entire family went out for my mother’s 80th birthday and after the meal we all went to a local park, largely occupied by the elderly, to rest."

"My mother needed crutches at this point, and they were resting against her bench."

"My 10-year-old niece, who looked like every starving waif image from Dickens, grabbed the crutches and started hobbling round the park."

"All the OAPs were following her progress with looks of pity until my brother ran up behind her, and kicked away the crutches."

"There was an audible gasp from round the park and then my niece picked the crutches back up and started chasing my brother, clearly intending to hit him."

"In the confused silence my brother-in-law’s voice rang out 'Praise be! She can walk again!'"

"We still think this was the highlight of the birthday celebrations."- DdraigGwyn

Still Legal, Whichever Way You Cut It...

"I picked up my pleasantly tipsy boyfriend from a nightclub."

"We were stopped by the Police for a random breath test."

"They asked me my age, and I said, 33."

"My bf blurted out '33? You told me you were 22'."

"Police just laughed and let me go."- Aggravating-Corgi379

Music Video Police GIF by Andrew W. K. Giphy

A Bit Too On The Nose?

"Business law class in college years ago, talking about the issues that black Americans had before the Civil Rights."

"Amendment, trying to travel through the south with the discrimination so rampant, trying to find restaurants to serve them and decent lodgings."

"My instructor was posing a hypothetical: 'So you pull up out front of this place, you're exhausted from driving for hours, and you see the sign out front says 'Ku Klux Klan Motel'."

"'What would you expect to find there?'"

"Without missing a beat, from the back of the room came this gem: "'Extra sheets in every room?'"- NedsAtomicDB

Not Yet, Anyway...

"I was working with my friend and his dad."

"My friend (26) heard an ice cream truck near where we were working."

"He asked his dad if he could have a couple dollars."

"His dad asked, 'what for?'"

"My friend told his dad that there was an ice cream truck in the neighborhood, and that they were playing music."

"My friends dad told him "'They don't charge anything to listen to the music'."- tatersalad1234567890

Words Escape You In The Literal "Heat" Of The Moment...

"A friend of mine is a teacher and her husband is known for his wit."

"She told this story to him:"

"One day at school a kid took the hall pass and returned reeking like smoke."

"She asked the kid if he’d been smoking and he denied it over and over."

"She was about to send him to the office when she noticed smoke coming from somewhere."

"She told the kid and he realized that he didn’t put his cig out completely and it was burning in his pants pocket."

"The kid noticed and frantically tried to put it out and someone finally poured water on it."

"Her husband sat listening to this with a weird look on his face."

"She asked him what was wrong."

“'What’s wrong???'"

"'This was probably the only chance you’ll have in your life to say literally, ‘liar,liar, pants on fire’ and you missed your chance'."- Luder714

On Fire No GIF by PEEKASSO Giphy

Amazing What You Might Say A Few Drinks In...

"When I went to a renaissance faire once, I went to a beer tent and ordered a Newcastle Brown Ale (seemed the most fitting for the surroundings)."

"The beer wench, without skipping a beat, said, 'Everyone wants a Newcastle - no one wants to remodel!'"- jayhof52

Read The Room People!

"My dad wiped out when skiing down a mountain and lost a ski."

"After a few minutes of hunting for it, he gives up, slings the one remaining ski over a shoulder and starts walking down the mountain in his ski boots."

"About half-way down, another skier stops and goes 'Gee! Did you lose a ski?'"

"My dad instantly replied 'No, I was out for a walk and found one!'"- PeterJoAl

There's a reason your mother always told you to "use your words".

As clever remarks can have a much more lasting effect on people than a push or shove.


witty