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Cringe!: The All-Time Worst Attempts At Flirting

Reddit user Veetojek asked: 'What was the worst attempt at flirting you have ever seen?'

Not everyone excels in the art of flirting, and who can blame them?

Getting the attention of someone you admire can be nerve-wracking, and your lack of confidence in the heat of the moment can be amplified and make you appear less attractive to the object of your affection.

Curious to hear examples of what to avoid in the pursuit of passion, Redditor Veetojek asked:

"What was the worst attempt at flirting you have ever seen?"

These advances are just genuinely bizarre.

Inept Pupil

"My friend in college started hanging out with 'pick up artists' and decided to demonstrate his prowess to us on the quad. His strat was to approach a girl and ask what she thought he should make for dinner that night (I guess it was supposed to lead to an invitation?) He then very-much-not-confidently approached a girl who was clearly in a hurry and, staring at the ground, delivered the line. The girl glared at him and, with great annoyance, said 'I have no idea! Spaghetti, or something?' And my buddy, still staring at the ground, said 'Oh-oh-ok. Uh, thanks' and shuffled away."

He also “learned” from this group that you’re supposed to touch a girl’s arm every time she laughs to condition her to associate your touch with a release of dopamine or endorphins or something. So I witnessed this several times as well, never done with any subtlety or charisma. He did finally get laid after about eight months of trying but the whole thing seemed creepy to me."

– Dr_broadnoodel

Weird Pitch

"It was me. In sixth grade I wrote a girl’s name on a rock and threw it at her during recess. Apparently they don’t like that 🤷🏻♂️"

– neon_eyeballs

"Did your approach change much from those days with the introduction of pokeballs?"

– OP

Stranger Danger

"On a walk with my dog, hot sweaty and not in the best clothes. This man drove behind me following me for a few minutes and I looked and said can I help you? He said let’s go on a date! Hop in!"

"I said no thanks and he revved his engine, asked if I was sure then sped off. I was legit scared."

– Allieora

These attempts at flirting are straight from a sitcom.

Down The Rabbit Hole

"A man asked a woman sitting next to me, 'I think your name is Alice since I'm lost in Wonderland.'"

– boukaree

"Oof. That made me cringe, imagining it."

– No_Letterhead_7683

Hairy Situation

"Guy on a trip saw a new girl in our group that he found cute. Decided to take the insult-as-a-form-of-flirting path and told her she had really hairy arms for a girl. Mind you, she had incredibly fair skin, so her hairs stood out more than usual. She, having too nice of a personality to say anything, laughed it off, covered her arm in a real smooth manner, and went on with whatever conversation was happening. My guy thought it worked because it 'made her laugh;' and you know you've got the green light when she laughs at your jokes. The next day he goes up to her during breakfast thinking he locked it up and exclaims, 'Oh my god your arms are so hairy that it's gonna make me sick!!' She doesn't laugh this time, runs back to her room, and changes into a long-sleeve shirt. She proceeded to wear long-sleeve shirts or sweaters for the remainder of the trip...in the middle of July. They didn't have a single interaction for the remaining 4 days."

– TYRONEmonies

Fumbling For Words

"My own. Drunk at a party talking to a cute girl she takes her glasses off. I thought this would be a good time for a genuine compliment. What my mouth said 'I like your face better with your glasses on' she just laughed. Pretty sure what I was trying to say is I like your glasses, and you have a pretty face. I just combined them."

– HooterEnthusiast

Clumsy Gymnast

"When I was in 3rd grade I had a crush on my babysitter."

"I decided to impress her by demonstrating my acrobatic prowess. I sprung from the side of a spiral slide and grabbed the monkey bars without touching the ground. Unfortunately, my hands slipped, I flipped through the air, and shattered my wrist in two places upon landing."

"My first thought was, 'Don't cry; be tough.' then I saw my wrist, it looked like a sine wave. I immediately started crying."

– ANerdCalledMike

Some guys come on way too strong

Hey, Barkeep!

"I saw two girls talking at a bar, and this guy walks up and interrupts them with a 'Heheheyyy, what are you ladies drinkin tonight eh? (Slaps the bar) Hey Barkeep, lemme get a couple rounds for these two!' They of course took the drinks, but promptly relocated away from that obnoxious dude."

– Xdude199

Bye, Scooter

"When I was younger I worked in a bar with a guy nicknamed 'Scooter.'"

"He'd say to any girl that was alone at the bar, 'Hi! My name is Scooter. I like to f'k. How do you like me so far?'"

"Some would glare and walk away, and a couple of times he got slapped across the face...but eventually he'd get a giggle."

"And he never went home alone."

– PJMurphy

Scene From A Gas Station

"When I was working at a gas station I had a dude just walk up to the register and just go ‘hey you have a boyfriend’"

"Of course he didn’t take ‘I’m not interested’ for an answer after. My assistant manager had to all put shove him out the door to get him to leave."

– SilverSoulFox

Daddy Cringey

"I worked in retail for a long time."

"I’ll never forget the time when this late 50s looking guy blatantly cat called an older woman who was wearing black boots. He said, 'Damn baby you gonna wear those boots all day for daddy?'. Then she goes, 'Not a chance.' He went quiet and she walked away. I had to hold in my laughter cause it was just so cringey to see."

– xSevusxBean4y

Either one's advances can come off as presumptuous and cocky or vulnerable and meek.

In most cases, people looking for love are overthinking it.

Here's a tip: Just relax and be yourself when approaching someone you like.

Being natural will not make you look desperate.

While there are no guarantees in scoring a date with this approach, chances are that with practice, you'll gain more confidence without overdoing it.

Brands That Abandoned Their Core Audience And Paid Dearly For It

Reddit user Fflewddur_Fflam_ asked: 'Who abandoned their core audience and paid the price for it?'

As the saying goes, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it."

Nonetheless, several brands and businesses will sometimes make noticeable changes, be it to reach a wider audience, or simply to shake things up a bit.

In some cases, the effort pays off, like Dunkin' Donuts, who decided to stretch beyond simply selling doughnuts and coffee, eventually even dropping the "Donuts" from their name, but losing none of their popularity.

Other times, things don't go as smoothly, such as when IHOP (an acronym for the International House of Pancakes) temporarily changed its name to IHOB (International House of Burgers), which turned out to be nothing but a weeklong publicity stunt, but was met with anger and vitriol from it's fanbase during that controversial week.

Redditor Fflewddur_Fflam_ was curious to hear what other brands the Reddit community thought betrayed their core audience to disastrous results, leading them to ask:

"Who abandoned their core audience and paid the price for it?"

Humans Are Technically Animals...

"Animal Planet."

"Their tagline became 'surprisingly human.'"

"Nobody wants to watch ANIMAL Planet for people."

"They have other channels."- rainbirdmelody

You Could Say Their Mission Slipped Through The "Cracks"...

"Cracked.com."

"There were a couple years there where they transformed from a second rate Mad knockoff to some of the smartest, funniest stuff on the internet."

"Then the people who held the purse strings decided listicles and photoshop contests were more profitable than a writing staff."- MichaelMyersResple

"StumbleUpon."

"It was a small website giving you randomized internet pages which I used to browse for hours as they were so fun."

"Now it turned into Mix and I have no clue what it is."

"Pretty sure no one uses it and it makes me sad."- MightyDaisy

Working On It GIF by KAT BALLGiphy

Less Handcrafted, More Hand-Me-Down

"Etsy."

'Used to be a fairly cool place to buy and sell mostly handcrafted stuff and items to make handcrafted stuff."

"Now it's basically shady Amazon with worse shipping."

"Everyone seems to be drop shippers and a lot of the more niche crafter/artisan things are pushed out and overwhelmed by cheaper, mass produced goods."- THIS_IS_MY_JOYSTICK

The Dreaded Paywall...

"Photobucket!"

"Back when forums were still a thing, Photobucket would host your images for free."

"Then one day they decided EVERYONE would have to pay monthly, no free tier, nothing."

"We all collectively agreed we would not be paying, and that was that."

"I feel like it may have contributed to the death of forums."

"Ruined a few of my car build threads, that's for sure."

"To this day they still send me emails a couple times a year threatening to delete all my photos if I don't come back."-pr0b0ner

Arguably, All For The Best?...

"Yik Yak."

"It was a way to have conversations with people in the area anonymously (really popular on college campuses)."

"They made an update to create user profiles and pretty much everyone just stopped using it because anonymity was the whole point."- Fakjbf

episode 16 moe GIFGiphy

Chocolate Lovers Revolt!

"This is incredibly niche, but in Norway there used to be two providers of chocolate powder, the kind you mix with hot or cold milk to make hot chocolate or chocolate milk."

"They were O'Boy brand and Nesquik, equally loved and enjoyed a healthy fanbase 'rivalry'."

"O'Boy is a Swedish product sold in Scandinavia and the Baltics since the 50s, Nesquik is of course Nestlé brand and sold all over the world."

"Sometime in the 2010s Nesquik decided to change the formula of the choco powder."

"I imagine to save money."

"And for making hot chocolate the new recipe was fine."

"What Nestlé underestimated, however, is that most Scandinavians drink their choco powder cold to make chocolate milk."

"The new recipe had a different type of sugar in it that wouldn't dissolve in cold milk, leaving a crunchy powder in the milk."

"Norwegians outraged, Nesquik was deemed useless, nearly everyone in the Nesquik camp migrated to O'Boy, and Nestlé lost almost all its market share overnight."

"A few months later, Nesquik is gone from the shelves nearly everywhere, never to recover from the blunder."- -Yngin-

Tornados Filled With Sharks Are Not For Everyone...

"Sci-Fi Channel."

"At some point there was no sci-fi on it."- AlienBeingMe

Tara Reid Storm GIF by SYFYGiphy

Not Everyone Can Keep Up With The Times...

"RadioShack."

"They went from selling electronic components, little gadgets, and interesting tech bobbles to nerds to trying to sell expensive cell phone plans and sh*tty batteries to a different audience."

"We saw that the customers who came to RadioShack shifted from middle/upper-income engineers and tech geeks to lower income people in a six year period."

"Then we saw the geeks stop coming in at all because they would come in for some capacitor or breadboard, and the person there wouldn't know what that was."

"If it wasn't a phone, they didn't know."

"Even if it was a phone, they probably couldn't tell you anything about it."

"Old RadioShack employees were knowledgeable and well paid."

"New RadioShack employees didn't give a sh*t about technology."- 001235

Seems FittingThat Their Old Audience Is "History"...

"Anyone else remember when The History Channel was about history and not about aliens?"- rienjabura

Found Footage Video GIF by Eternal FamilyGiphy

There's A Reason They're Not So Well Known For Their Food...

"Every restaurant that opens in the UK goes through the cycle:"

"New and interesting food."

"Very different from most British food."

"Becomes very popular."

"Owners sell to a large company."

"Large company decides that being popular isn't enough, they want everybody to eat there."

"Make the food more British."

"Looming failure is hidden for a while because they attract new customers at exactly the rate they lose old customers."

"New customers have tried it, realize they can get that food anywhere, stop going."

"Chain closes and is replaced by a Greggs or Nandos, depending on the size of the location (not dependent on how far away the nearest Greggs or Nandos is."- skztr

Money Doesn't Solve Everything

"Quora."

"There were excellent groups with intelligent discussions."

"Then it became monetized and people submitted 100s of questions a day."

"'What time does the Walmart close in Boise?'" "

"'My 16 yr old came home with an A- so I took away their phone for 6 months'."- JanuarySoCold

Bored Sales GIF by EGiphy

Success can be a very dangerous thing.

As it can make you think about nothing but getting bigger, often resulting in your leaving people behind along the way.

A cautionary tale for young entrepreneurs.


What makes someone a 10?

It ain't all about looks, baby.

Looks are fine.

But charisma is everything.

There are a ton of ingredients that make up attractive, though.

That's why it's good to know your strengths.

Redditor Overall_Wish_912 wanted to hear about how hot everybody thinks they are and why, so they asked:

"What is the most attractive thing about you?"

I think my eyes sell the whole package.

Light blue with a slight dusting of gold.

Connections

Yoga Anatomy GIF by YOGABODYGiphy

"More than a few radiologists over the years have told me I have nice connective tissues, ligaments in particular. Makes a fella kinda proud."

Southern_Snowshoe

Lashed

"I have exceptionally long and beautiful eyelashes. I’m working on my flutter. I’m also a guy."

bleepbloopmunchmunch

"I get complimented on my eyelashes too as a guy! Women often tell me they’re jealous. I never had a clue that was something women noticed until I reached college/university."

EasterButterfly

"I started getting compliments in high school. I remember freshman year, I was sitting at a round table and this really cute girl at the table just randomly asked me to close my eyes. I thought it was weird, but I did. Then she told her equally cute friend to look at my eyelashes, that they were so long and pretty like a girl's. At the time I wasn't sure if they were being nice or making fun of me (since they compared them to girl's lashes). I now get the compliment, though, and appreciate it."

DesertRat012

Beauty

"I'm not totally hideous, but easily the most attractive thing about me is my kindness. I hear all the time that people are just magically drawn to me/feel comfortable with me/like being around me. I'm charming, I guess."

StrangersWithAndi

"That’s such a good quality."

Overall_Wish_912

Look Up

"I'm 6'2 and the internet tells me that's like the most incredible and attractive thing ever apparently."

ConflictFast8743

"I’m 6’6 and wish I was shorter. My long-term girlfriend tells me I get checked out all the time but I literally never notice, I’d give up all the attention if it meant I’d never hit my head on a doorframe again."

CaptainLongshorts

"I'm only 6', but a woman and I have a 36' inseam. I love having long legs, they walk so fast and are my favorite physical feature!"

abqkat

Light as a Feather

the office therapy GIFGiphy

"My therapist said I’m a good egg, so there’s that."

CheddarBurgers

"Mine told me she never feels heavy when I leave her office. We’ve talked about some heavy sh*t so I took it as a compliment."

random_username3184

Not being the scariest and worst patient is definitely a gold star moment for the mind.

Perfect

Regular Season Sport GIF by MLBGiphy

"I’ve been told I have the most perfectly shaped head for a bald man."

KilnMeSmallz

"My dermatologist recently told me I had a great shaped head if I were to ever shave my hair off. It really got me thinking."

Weeziir

For the Boys

"The only attractive thing about me is my hair. Even that is debatable since most women don't like men with long hair."

SlayzorHunter

"Haha for me it’s my bald head! I look a million times better without hair than with it even when my hairline wasn’t balding that bad. I think the pics of me at 28-30 I look better than my 18-25 pics."

OkSwitch470

"Some men just have the cranial and facial structures that make them look better with bald head. I shave my head every 3 years, so I know how I look with every single hair length there is. It only starts looking decent after at least 9 months of growth."

SlayzorHunter

Share With Me

"I'm very nonjudgemental; it's amazing the things people will share with me!"

PeterGivenbless

"Same. I've had people share some pretty personal things with me soon after meeting them."

Krissyfox_7

"Yup, same. I have 'tell me all your secrets' stamped on my forehead. I do like it, though. Nice to get to know who people actually are and what they’ve been through, as opposed to the robotic small talk. Makes me happy that people see me as a 'safe' person."

East_Satisfaction242

Streaks

"I have bright blue eyes that get me plenty of compliments. The only other thing that gets close is my beard, and now especially the silver streaks lacing it."

fuqaduck

"The Silver helps. I was accused of dying it to look more dignified by a coworker, which was puzzling. Not quite a compliment, but compliment adjacent I guess."

604Ataraxia

The Nuzzle

"My long nose, it’s perfect for nuzzling the bean while dining out 🤤."

sussyboingus

"I had an out-of-the-blue compliment about my nose. A woman approached me and said I had an envied Roman nose. Noticing my confusion, she explained she was an art historian, and my nose was in the mold of Roman marble statutes. I've never heard another compliment about my nose, so who knows."

TWH_PDX

The Body

The Simpsons Dance GIFGiphy

"I’m short but I have a very nice figure. I get complimented for my butt a lot. I’m 5’2." I like attention so I don’t mind the compliments for the most part. I don’t get bothered by that as easily as some people do. But I have no respect for men that complement my body when they’re in relationships."

DrWiskers

Well, there are a lot of definitions for attractive.

Thank goodness.

a man and a woman walking in the desert

NEOM on Unsplash

When you're in a relationship, the things your significant other—or sig-O—does hit different.

Teasing remarks you'd laugh off from friends can feel like a knife in the heart when your romantic partner says it.

Minor slights can easily become major issues in your relationship if you feel vulnerable.

Keep reading...Show less

There's this ongoing, universal joke that no one reads user's manuals for new items, so often items aren't built or used quite the way they were intended.

But some products, whether there's a user's manual involved or not, will be used for activities that they were in no way designed for.

Redditor OfficialDampSquid asked:

"What product is rarely used for its intended purpose?"

Clothespins

"Clothespins have spent years keeping bags of chips closed in my house, not a minute hanging up clothes."

- jpiro

"Great in the shop as mini clamps, specifically when gluing the linings to acoustic guitars."

- Fluffy-Anything-5528

Free Parking Corner

"The corner that says FREE PARKING on the Monopoly board."

- DanielleAntenucci

"I don’t know one single person who plays that game correctly. It’s insane how house rules caught on and became almost universal."

- Dr_broadnoodle

Cotton Swaps

"I’ll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I use a Q-Tip correctly."

- PM_DEGRADING

"95 percent for cleaning electronics. Five percent for cleaning your ears."

- Fried-Pig-Dogs

Bubble Wrap

"Bubble wrap. It was invented as a wallpaper in the 1950s."

- fuzzysarge

"Just mist down your windows with plain water and the bubble wrap just sticks by itself."

"I didn't know this trick when I had to make a bathroom more private. As a stopgap, I just sprayed the windows with fake Christmas snow."

- RedditZamak

For Surgical Purposes

"K-Y Jelly was originally developed as a surgical lubricant."

- JiveChicken00

Fixes Everything

"Duct tape. Works on everything but ducts. (They make a special tape for that, and it’s not called duct tape.)"

- ImpliedSlashS

From War to Screen Doors

"WD-40 was originally created to stop nuclear missiles from rusting."

- ShoopufJockey

Great for Kids Crafts

"I want to say pool noodles. I see a new craft for them weekly and rarely see them actually in a pool."

- gigieileen

Baking Powder Uses

"Not 'rarely used' per se, but the amount of baking powder not used for baking things is quite high."

- DayOk6350

"You can use it to instantly set super glue and create a stronger bond that is as hard as plastic and nowhere near as brittle as a regular superglue bonding."

- Happy-Personality-23

The Question Is In the Name

"Glove compartment in a car. Who actually has gloves in them? I think they are a throwback to when people had driving gloves."

- Urbanredneck2

Yardstick Purpose

"Yardsticks."

- procrastinatorsuprem

"When I was in school, all the teacher ever used it for was to smack the chalkboard to get everybody's attention when the class was acting up."

- Rich_handsome

"We use it to push the button on the smoke alarm, get spider webs on the ceiling, and every once in a while measure how deep a snow storm is."

- procrastinatorsuprem

Treadmill... Closets

"Treadmills at home."

"Or any exercising equipment at home... ends up being a clothes holder."

- shubidoobie

Mouths Instead

"Listerine was originally sold as a floor cleaner."

- mtgkajhit

"Listerine was one of those products which was marketed to do literally anything to do with clearing."

"It was also used as a medical antiseptic during surgery."

- Woffingshire

Great for Crafts

"Pipe cleaners."

"Does that count if they’re called “chenille stems”, brightly colored, and for sale alongside kids’ craft supplies?"

"Because if that does count, so should Play-Doh. It was originally invented to clean wallpaper, but once kids started playing with it (it had been nontoxic from the beginning IIRC) they changed the marketing and sold it in lots of colors."

- DBSeamZ

Cell Phones

"Mobile phones, used for anything, except for making phone calls."

- FatCat_85

"Mobile phones are used for their intended purposes, but that purpose has just changed over time."

- Reddit

These products are all a great example of how products can have multiple purposes, which technically means we can have fewer items in our homes, which means fewer things to clean!

And if cleaning the floor is a concern, apparently we can use the Listerine... while brushing our teeth. Who knew?