Getting out of class as a grade school student was always a luxury. However, it is crucial to find the perfect excuse to do so, and "the dog ate my homework" just isn't doing it anymore. You gotta be more creative these days.
rocksugarrr asked: Teachers of Reddit, what is the weirdest excuse you've ever heard that turned out to be true?
OMG
"I had a sixth grader come into class very sleepy during test day. I asked her why and she said she is sleeping next to her dead grandma in the living room and has been too scared to sleep.
I asked her parents about this, turns out it's a cultural practice of theirs to keep a dead relative in the home for a few days while their spirit makes it journey to the afterlife.
To answer some of your questions: She was from a large Hmong family that lived in an small apartment. She also mentioned before the grandmother passed her family attached bells to the grandmothers clothing to scare away the spirits that were making her sick."
Now THAT'S an excuse.
Giphy"We had a kid in our class who was pure chaos. Came late all the time, forgot stuff, didn't do his homework, disruptive in class... you get the picture.
One day he came to school over two hours late and said the bus he was on fell into a sinkhole. Everybody was like "yeah, right", until the news came in that there had indeed been a sinkhole from a tunnel construction and that indeed a bus had slipped into it.
We never found out whether our classmate had actually been in it, but he swore he was."
Rats!
"My pet rats dragged my history homework into their cage and "modified" it to fit in with the aesthetic of their shredded-paper nest.
I told the teacher the next day who didn't believe me until I could get my dad to vouch for me.
Teach was all 'Well if she wasn't lying, why didn't she bring the remainder in as proof?'
My dad: "'Because the papers were shredded and covered in rat urine.'"
Oof.
"One of the girls I know from Uni works in a college (here college is a name for vocational school), and one of her groups of students jokingly said "they died" when someone was absent from classes.
So one day it went morbidly wrong when she asked why, say, Dave was absent, the group replied that he died, she laughed and said "okay, but seriously" and the class was just silent."
Otherwise, that would've been a really bad excuse.
Giphy"I gave this one.
I was in college. I went back to my house between classes only to find my roommates barricaded inside by police.
Why, you might ask?
There was a bull moose in our side yard and the fish and game people were VERY concerned.
So my lab isn't until 3 or something, and meanwhile there's like 8 officers having a standoff with a moose in my yard.
This continues until someone decides that the moose is an imminent threat and they're going to try to tranquilize it. So they try that and it fails. So now they're going to kill the moose.
It gets to be about 2:45 and I need to leave for my class and I'm summarily informed by the armed officer that my lawn is not safe and I'm to stay inside.
So I emailed my prof and was like "look I know you're not going to believe this but I'm barricaded in my house and they won't let me leave. I assume this will be on the news tonight."
Turns out it WAS on the news - they interviewed me - and I got an exemption on that lab. He told me later that he was going to 100% fail me because it was the worst excuse ever until he saw the news story.
(In case it wasn't immediately obvious, yes, this occurred in Vermont, because where else would this be a problem?)"
Hooray for technology.
"As a graduate TA for undergrad students I was teaching an online course and all assignments had to be submitted by midnight. A student emailed me (this is important) and said her internet was down and she couldn't submit the paper. As in logged into her email on the internet to email me that her internet was down.
The way the class was run, if she didn't submit the paper by midnight she got a 0 for the assignment.
I replied to her email (remember - her internet is down) that if she brought me a hard copy of the paper she could still get her grade. She shows up at my apartment 10 minutes later (I hosted study groups in the community room) with her hard copy paper and a half-melted internet router. She had emailed me from her smart phone that she had for her internship (this was early in the smart phone surge and few people had them).
Girl got her grade and we're still in touch! She proved herself to be an incredibly dedicated student and is now in graduate school herself!"
Now that's cool.
"I had a student who told me he was going to miss one of the exams because he was visiting a famous rapper in Florida with his family.
He told me that the rapper, who at the time was a relatively big deal, all over the radio, was his cousin and his family was flying out for a show and he couldn't skip it.
I mean, I would have let him make up the exam anyway, I don't really care as long as he takes it. But all his peers and I were kind of like "Yeah, right...okay, whatever you say man."
He was telling the truth. When he got back from Florida, said famous rapper Skyped into our poetry class and chatted with my students about poetry and lyrics and such. It was actually really cool."
Why improve on a classic?
Giphy"Not a teacher, but my dog literally ate my homework in high school. I had to read the Great Gatsby in English and I remember my teacher asking me where my copy of the book was.
I told him my dog ate it and he gave me that "really, bro?" look. Took out the completely destroyed copy and the expression on his face when he realized I wasn't lying was priceless."
That's rough.
"Obligatory 'not a teacher but' someone I went to school with who was late a lot came in one day talking about how he was watching the news.
Yeah right, 'David'. And why exactly were you watching the news?
Some plane had just flown into a building in New York.
My 'where were you' moment is sitting in Social Studies class listening to a kid tell the most obvious lie he had ever told.. only for it to be the truth."
Literally swam to the test.
"I was the student in this case. I was a new driver, headed to school at the crack of dawn to take an AP exam. For those not familiar, attendance is critical for these exams and you absolutely must show up on time or call the exam proctors to let them know you're going to be late. This was also central Texas in the middle of May, which is prone to torrential downpours
So, being a new driver I didn't want to take the highway so I'd just take a little farm-to-market road every day and figured it'd be fine. It was not. It was backed up to all hell because a portion of the road had flooded but Texans being Texans, people were still crossing anyway. So a 15 minute commute became 35. I'd failed to write down the proctors' numbers so I had no way to let them know I was going to be late.
I got to the parking lot about ten minutes after it was supposed to start. It had been raining so hard and the parking lot had such poor drainage that there was at least 6 inches of water covering the ground. And horizontal rain. Even with my umbrella I walked into that exam soaked from mid thigh all the way down, my shoes making a "squish, squish, squish" noise with every step.
Exam proctor: Why are you late?
Me: Sorry, the road was flooded. I had to swim through the parking lot
I was at least able to take the exam, though I was freezing. And before anyone jumps on me, yes I now know how dumb it is to walk or drive through a flooded area, but high school me didn't."
Solid excuse.
Giphy"I have a cousin who went to his math class and turned in his homework without any proof showing he worked on the problem. When asked why he didn't show his work, he responded with, "A NASA rocket scientist showed me a better way."
Well no one believes him, until they called his dad and he had to explain they had a family friend from out of town staying at their house and yes he was actually a NASA rocket scientist."
Poor frog.
"Not a teacher but I got a frog stuck in my printer just before I was going to print an assignment. This was before email-submitted assignments were standard. Got an extra day because the professor had never gotten that excuse.
Also, HP sent me a new printer."
That's horrible.
"Elementary Teacher here. I had a student tell me that her mom got mad and ripped up her homework. Naturally I didn't believe her. Weeks later at a parent conference the mom actually admitted doing so out of spite because the two had gotten into an argument and that she hoped it went against her grade. From then on I believed the student.
For the remainder of the year she tried her best to turn it in, on occasion I would receive the shreds of what was left of her completed homework.
She got a pass for the rest of the school year, whether it was turned in or not."
That's gotta be a whole lot of trauma.
Giphy"Mini unit on Lizzie Borden. (That sounds weird, but it was part of a news/investigative reporting unit for a journalism elective I teach.) Student told me she was having trouble focusing on the lesson because her dad is an axe murderer so it was bringing up a lot of memories and feelings.
Googled his name and yep, she wasn't lying."
Logic checks out.
"I failed to show up to class one time and this is the true story I told my teacher.
I was in my electronics lab and the power supply kept making this horrible buzzing/grinding sound. I'd smack it and it'd shut up for awhile before doing it again. Now, you're thinking this was my alarm clock and I was dreaming about being in the lab. And you're quite right. The thing is, in this dream I was a gigantic grape with arms and legs and a face. So once I realized that it WAS my alarm clock and I needed to get to class I was still enough in the dream to think I was still a grape. And fruit doesn't have to go to class. So I didn't.
The teacher stared at me for about 15 seconds and said "I wish I was a grape." and not another word was said about it."
Mercury in retrograde always screws everything up.
"That she couldn't finish the assignment in time because the planet Mercury was in retrograde motion.
She was correct, it was in retrograde.
I love this one. But I still downgraded her assignment for being late."
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.