Teachers Share The Weirdest Excuses They've Ever Heard That Ended Up Being True
Getting out of class as a grade school student was always a luxury. However, it is crucial to find the perfect excuse to do so, and "the dog ate my homework" just isn't doing it anymore. You gotta be more creative these days.
rocksugarrr asked: Teachers of Reddit, what is the weirdest excuse you've ever heard that turned out to be true?
"I had a sixth grader come into class very sleepy during test day. I asked her why and she said she is sleeping next to her dead grandma in the living room and has been too scared to sleep.
I asked her parents about this, turns out it's a cultural practice of theirs to keep a dead relative in the home for a few days while their spirit makes it journey to the afterlife.
To answer some of your questions: She was from a large Hmong family that lived in an small apartment. She also mentioned before the grandmother passed her family attached bells to the grandmothers clothing to scare away the spirits that were making her sick."
Now THAT'S an excuse.Giphy
"We had a kid in our class who was pure chaos. Came late all the time, forgot stuff, didn't do his homework, disruptive in class... you get the picture.
One day he came to school over two hours late and said the bus he was on fell into a sinkhole. Everybody was like "yeah, right", until the news came in that there had indeed been a sinkhole from a tunnel construction and that indeed a bus had slipped into it.
We never found out whether our classmate had actually been in it, but he swore he was."
"My pet rats dragged my history homework into their cage and "modified" it to fit in with the aesthetic of their shredded-paper nest.
I told the teacher the next day who didn't believe me until I could get my dad to vouch for me.
Teach was all 'Well if she wasn't lying, why didn't she bring the remainder in as proof?'
My dad: "'Because the papers were shredded and covered in rat urine.'"
"One of the girls I know from Uni works in a college (here college is a name for vocational school), and one of her groups of students jokingly said "they died" when someone was absent from classes.
So one day it went morbidly wrong when she asked why, say, Dave was absent, the group replied that he died, she laughed and said "okay, but seriously" and the class was just silent."
Otherwise, that would've been a really bad excuse.Giphy
"I gave this one.
I was in college. I went back to my house between classes only to find my roommates barricaded inside by police.
Why, you might ask?
There was a bull moose in our side yard and the fish and game people were VERY concerned.
So my lab isn't until 3 or something, and meanwhile there's like 8 officers having a standoff with a moose in my yard.
This continues until someone decides that the moose is an imminent threat and they're going to try to tranquilize it. So they try that and it fails. So now they're going to kill the moose.
It gets to be about 2:45 and I need to leave for my class and I'm summarily informed by the armed officer that my lawn is not safe and I'm to stay inside.
So I emailed my prof and was like "look I know you're not going to believe this but I'm barricaded in my house and they won't let me leave. I assume this will be on the news tonight."
Turns out it WAS on the news - they interviewed me - and I got an exemption on that lab. He told me later that he was going to 100% fail me because it was the worst excuse ever until he saw the news story.
(In case it wasn't immediately obvious, yes, this occurred in Vermont, because where else would this be a problem?)"
Hooray for technology.
"As a graduate TA for undergrad students I was teaching an online course and all assignments had to be submitted by midnight. A student emailed me (this is important) and said her internet was down and she couldn't submit the paper. As in logged into her email on the internet to email me that her internet was down.
The way the class was run, if she didn't submit the paper by midnight she got a 0 for the assignment.
I replied to her email (remember - her internet is down) that if she brought me a hard copy of the paper she could still get her grade. She shows up at my apartment 10 minutes later (I hosted study groups in the community room) with her hard copy paper and a half-melted internet router. She had emailed me from her smart phone that she had for her internship (this was early in the smart phone surge and few people had them).
Girl got her grade and we're still in touch! She proved herself to be an incredibly dedicated student and is now in graduate school herself!"
Now that's cool.
"I had a student who told me he was going to miss one of the exams because he was visiting a famous rapper in Florida with his family.
He told me that the rapper, who at the time was a relatively big deal, all over the radio, was his cousin and his family was flying out for a show and he couldn't skip it.
I mean, I would have let him make up the exam anyway, I don't really care as long as he takes it. But all his peers and I were kind of like "Yeah, right...okay, whatever you say man."
He was telling the truth. When he got back from Florida, said famous rapper Skyped into our poetry class and chatted with my students about poetry and lyrics and such. It was actually really cool."
Why improve on a classic?Giphy
"Not a teacher, but my dog literally ate my homework in high school. I had to read the Great Gatsby in English and I remember my teacher asking me where my copy of the book was.
I told him my dog ate it and he gave me that "really, bro?" look. Took out the completely destroyed copy and the expression on his face when he realized I wasn't lying was priceless."
"Obligatory 'not a teacher but' someone I went to school with who was late a lot came in one day talking about how he was watching the news.
Yeah right, 'David'. And why exactly were you watching the news?
Some plane had just flown into a building in New York.
My 'where were you' moment is sitting in Social Studies class listening to a kid tell the most obvious lie he had ever told.. only for it to be the truth."
Literally swam to the test.
"I was the student in this case. I was a new driver, headed to school at the crack of dawn to take an AP exam. For those not familiar, attendance is critical for these exams and you absolutely must show up on time or call the exam proctors to let them know you're going to be late. This was also central Texas in the middle of May, which is prone to torrential downpours
So, being a new driver I didn't want to take the highway so I'd just take a little farm-to-market road every day and figured it'd be fine. It was not. It was backed up to all hell because a portion of the road had flooded but Texans being Texans, people were still crossing anyway. So a 15 minute commute became 35. I'd failed to write down the proctors' numbers so I had no way to let them know I was going to be late.
I got to the parking lot about ten minutes after it was supposed to start. It had been raining so hard and the parking lot had such poor drainage that there was at least 6 inches of water covering the ground. And horizontal rain. Even with my umbrella I walked into that exam soaked from mid thigh all the way down, my shoes making a "squish, squish, squish" noise with every step.
Exam proctor: Why are you late?
Me: Sorry, the road was flooded. I had to swim through the parking lot
I was at least able to take the exam, though I was freezing. And before anyone jumps on me, yes I now know how dumb it is to walk or drive through a flooded area, but high school me didn't."
"I have a cousin who went to his math class and turned in his homework without any proof showing he worked on the problem. When asked why he didn't show his work, he responded with, "A NASA rocket scientist showed me a better way."
Well no one believes him, until they called his dad and he had to explain they had a family friend from out of town staying at their house and yes he was actually a NASA rocket scientist."
"Not a teacher but I got a frog stuck in my printer just before I was going to print an assignment. This was before email-submitted assignments were standard. Got an extra day because the professor had never gotten that excuse.
Also, HP sent me a new printer."
"Elementary Teacher here. I had a student tell me that her mom got mad and ripped up her homework. Naturally I didn't believe her. Weeks later at a parent conference the mom actually admitted doing so out of spite because the two had gotten into an argument and that she hoped it went against her grade. From then on I believed the student.
For the remainder of the year she tried her best to turn it in, on occasion I would receive the shreds of what was left of her completed homework.
She got a pass for the rest of the school year, whether it was turned in or not."
That's gotta be a whole lot of trauma.Giphy
"Mini unit on Lizzie Borden. (That sounds weird, but it was part of a news/investigative reporting unit for a journalism elective I teach.) Student told me she was having trouble focusing on the lesson because her dad is an axe murderer so it was bringing up a lot of memories and feelings.
Googled his name and yep, she wasn't lying."
Logic checks out.
"I failed to show up to class one time and this is the true story I told my teacher.
I was in my electronics lab and the power supply kept making this horrible buzzing/grinding sound. I'd smack it and it'd shut up for awhile before doing it again. Now, you're thinking this was my alarm clock and I was dreaming about being in the lab. And you're quite right. The thing is, in this dream I was a gigantic grape with arms and legs and a face. So once I realized that it WAS my alarm clock and I needed to get to class I was still enough in the dream to think I was still a grape. And fruit doesn't have to go to class. So I didn't.
The teacher stared at me for about 15 seconds and said "I wish I was a grape." and not another word was said about it."
Mercury in retrograde always screws everything up.
"That she couldn't finish the assignment in time because the planet Mercury was in retrograde motion.
She was correct, it was in retrograde.
I love this one. But I still downgraded her assignment for being late."
No two people have the same threshold for pain.
Some people don't even notice pricking their fingers, while others might equate doing so to being fully amputated.
No matter one's threshold, however, being in pain, big or small, is never a good feeling.
Particularly if it's the sort of pain that aspirin or ibuprofen can't take care of.
Some pain is so horrific that those suffering from it genuinely can't imagine going through anything worse.
"What's the worst physical pain you have ever had?"
"I am a heart-transplant recipient."
"The absolute worst experience of my life was when the tool used to take tissue samples of the heart (biopsy) to check for rejections got stuck and the doctor tried to use force to get it out, he failed."
"Mind you, you shouldn't be able to feel anything in the transplanted heart."
"I felt everything."- Beastrix
Seriously, What Haven't They Been Through?
"Having A UTI after covid that also had light pneumonia."
"Falling on my hands and knees while my backpack full of school books to return [2011 for book reference] that slammed into my back."
"I have scoliosis already and it threw my back out."
"Or my hip dislocating."
"It still dislocates."- Fluffy-Doubt-3547
"Like 10,000 knives in my stomach."- coffeedogsandwine
You Know Its Bad When Surgery's The Only Solution
"Ended up having my gal bladder removed."
"And I've broken my knee skiing which also required surgery."
"Minor annoyance in comparison."- Fracture_98
"I had a doctor once reset a broken bone in my wrist."
"He pushed it back."
"Worst pain I have ever felt."
"I screamed at him 'F*CK YOU, MOTHERF**KER!!'"
"He was nice about it though, and just laughed."- OttersOfNorthAmerica
Headache's Are Never Fun
"Chronic Cluster Headaches."- noiamnotyourfriend
"Worst headache of my life with migraine."
"And with it, an increase in blood pressure."
"I just lay on the floor and couldn't move."
"It cannot be described in words, but I have already vomited everything that is possible, and instinct made me writhe in the urge to give out something that has not been there for a long time."- Exciting_Composer_86
"I had a root canal done on a tooth that wasn’t numb."
"I didn’t realize it until they scraped the nerve out of the bottom of the root."
"It hurt so bad I completely blacked out."- victrola_cola
"Welp I guess now's the time."
"If you're squeamish turn away."
"Allow me to tell you the story of the gigash*t."
"I always had stomach issues."
"One holiday I ate too much dairy and gravy and it didn't agree with me."
"I already had constipation issues, most likely due to college stress, under hydration, and lactose intolerance that I didn't know I had at the time."
"I was hunched over in pain for hours."
"I had been stuck for a week or so and I wanted it out."
"The pain got progressively worse and worse across the day, and then it got to a height. It hurt so bad I cancelled my holiday visits and hobbled to the toilet."
"Little did I know what horrors awaited me."
"I don't know how long I was in there fighting for my life."
"At some point I had pulled a dresser over to lean my head and arms on because I was so exhausted and in pain, and I needed something to help keep my legs up."
"I clung to it like a castaway clings to flotsam."
"I felt like I should have seen a doctor, but I was already hell bound now, couldn't quit after all this work."
"I actually tried to use wipes to pull some of it out by hand, but it was like chiseling at hardening clay, and it was stuck like glue to my dying organs."
"I was certain I was dying too, but I wasn't going to give up."
"I wasn't going to let the football in my guts win."
"I clenched and pushed and suffered for what felt like hours."
"Then, at the height of my pain, it fell like a single brick with a clunk."
"I was huffing and puffing."
"It was like I just gave birth, and my a** was obliterated to the point where it was sore for the rest of the day."
"My guts actually felt empty."
"It's hard to explain, but I never felt so light in my life, despite how horribly the rest of my body ached."
"I was but a husk for the small football shaped demon spawn to shed, and now I was free."
"I immediately went to bed, still unbelievably sore."
"I recovered, but that was the absolute worst."
"Moral of the story, drink your water and eat your fiber, and for God's sake don't eat too much cheese."- mysterious_greenbean
Just When They Thought The Worst Was Over
"Woke up to to a huge spider right next to my face on my pillow."
"My reaction was to jump out of bed screaming bloody murder."
"I landed on the leg I had surgery in the day before, the leg gave out and I hit it hard on the bedframe and tore the wound."
"I passed out from the pain."- mistaekeish
Hopefully Not Simultaneously?!
"Kidney infection and tooth infection have been the absolute worst."- SexyChronicPain
Our Bones Are More Delicate Than We Might Think
"Skull bone infection (osteomyelitis) stemming from a tooth abscess, ended up with 3 front teeth out through high school."
"It took around 11 extraction/bone graft/implant surgeries for like 5 years of my life."
"But I’m all good now."
" Oh and f*ck broken ribs."- throwaway19273919
Thankfully, not all pain is chronic, and only lasts a short time.
If pain is unbearable enough, however, the memory of it can last a life time.
We've all done things we aren't proud of.
Be it saying something behind someone's back, a prank that went a little too far, or a heated exchange with a friend or family member, everyone has crossed the line at one point or another.
Thankfully, more often than not, these mistakes can be salvaged with an apology and a little contrition.
Unless you've done something that goes well beyond a simple "I'm sorry."
We’re talking about actions that can only be described as "f*cked up."
"Redditors, what is the most fucked up thing you have ever done?"
Duplicity Never Pays Off
"I’m a recovered heroin addict (9 years sober), and I have a lot of stories of how much of a sh*t person I use to be."
"I really can’t gauge what my worst moment would be, but I can post a story or two definitely."
"One day, I was flat broke and on my last bag of dope. My 'neighborhood pharmacist' just recently was arrested for a dui."
"Brainstorming, I came up with an idea to try and get some pills at the e.r. I still had med insurance at the moment, so I thought this was my best option."
"My buddy came by and we were hanging out outside smoking a cigarette and trying to figure out how to get hurt, just enough to get some pills, but not enough to actually have permanent repercussions."
"There was this big cinder block beside my garage, and I decided to drop it on my foot in hopes of just breaking a toe at most."
"I stood outside on the concrete patio for about five minutes with the cinderblock trying to hype myself up enough to drop it on my foot."
"I couldn’t do it, psyched myself out too much."
"I told my friend that he would have to do it for me, and he said OK."
"He held it about waist high and dropped it on my foot."
"I knew it wasn’t enough damage so I told him that he needed to put it up higher and drop it again to which he did."
"So go to the hospital tell them that I was carrying boxes downstairs to the basement and dropped them when I slipped on the bottom step so I go back, get x-rays, and I am in the waiting room."
"Dr comes in and tells me that I’ve torn numerous ligaments in my foot and probably would hurt less if I had just broke my foot."
"Hearing this I was excited thinking yes I just scored."
"I Didn’t care about the pain at the moment just happy that I just potentially scored."
"They release me, and hand me a script."
"They wrote me a script for ibuprofen 800mg."
When Pranks Stop Being Funny
"Was night manager at fast food establishment during college."
"There was a bitter prank rivalry between our establishment and the Subway next to us."
"After months of prank escalation, I crammed a rotting hamburger patty in the handle of the Subway manager's trunk lid so he went knuckle deep in rotting burger when he went home."
"That was the end of the prank war and I've never forgiven myself for crossing the red line."- Quivum
How Ironic This Happened At A Therapists Office
"I’m gonna rat my little sister out."
"During our parents’ divorce & custody battle, we were forced to sit in on family counseling sessions."
"I was 12 & she was 8."
"We thought my Mom was acting funny & might have been banging the counselor on the side for her own personal testimonial interests (still not confirmed)."
"So we were pissed off because we loved our Mom and our Dad."
"It seemed like the counselor favored our mom over our Dad, and it got rough sometimes watching him become outed by the only 2 adult forces who didn’t love him in this world."
"ANYWAY, my little sister and I were left alone in his office, and she decided she was gonna take a sh*t in his little trash can to assert dominance."
"It was asserted."
"We never went back."- Pleasant-Security831
When You Gotta Go...
"Ugh this was an embarrassing one that I hope no one ever finds out."
"One night a few years ago, we (my boyfriend and his family) get Chinese food from our favorite little place."
"For some reason this night it doesn't sit well with me."
"An hour after eating I get that intensely sick feeling, like you have to poop so bad that you want to throw up."
"Whatever, I go upstairs and destroy the bathroom."
"It's important to note, there's two bathrooms upstairs and none downstairs, which is like a little apartment where my boyfriend and I stay."
"After I'm sure my bowels are empty, I go back down to lay in bed."
"Thought I could nap it off."
"Nah, about 30 seconds after laying down I get the urge to go again."
"I run upstairs and to my horror, both bathrooms are occupied. His sister is refusing to get of the shower even though it's an emergency and his dad is blowing up the other toilet, presumably suffering a similar fate to mine."
"I begrudgingly go sit in bed and contemplate my options as the bubbling in my gut grows worse."
"Bust down the bathroom door and traumatize his sister?"
"Make the 30 minute drive home?"
"No, it was urgent."
"I even thought about sh*tting my pants (against my will) and dealing with the embarrassment."
"God I don't want to subject my future in-laws to that."
"I begrudgingly realize my only option is to go outside like nature intended."
"Their yard is very open and it was a super bright-moonlit night, so there was no place to do it without feeling super exposed."
"Except for under the trampoline."
"My thought process was: no one has used the trampoline for years, and it's out of sight/ walking range so no one could accidentally step in it."
"Great. I do my business, get soaked in the process ( it was slightly raining and the trampoline was POURING water on me), clean up with napkins and wet wipes, come inside. Immediately throw up in the trash can from the shock/embarrassment/anxiety/sickness."
"Clean that up and immediately go to bed."
"Everything was fine for a few days, until my boyfriend's dad lightheartedly tells me how he was late for work that morning."
"The dog had rolled in some shit and he had to get a bath."
"I felt like throwing up all over again, but thankfully everyone just suspected it was some type of animal poop."-WeirdConnections
Revenge Is Seldom The Answer
"My hometown is generally pretty middle-class to poor."
"There's a bunch of rich people that live in the woods and one of them had a kid that went to our high school and bullied the f*ck out of the kids that weren't as wealthy."
"That sh*t head grew up and bought a Camaro last summer and removed the muffler so it would be the loudest thing in town."
"On new years eve of 2021, he decided to ruin a town tradition and lapped the town common with it during the tree lighting ceremony. while people were caroling and giving thanks."
"Summer of last year, me and a friend decided it was time to get revenge because nobody wanted to do anything about it."
"My friend's dad owned a junkyard and they recently got an old train horn from a busted diesel that ended up there."
"We spent a good week getting it set up in the back of his work truck and decided to wait on it for a little while."
"A month or so later, we found out he was having a party of some kind with other rich folks and his family but we didn't know what it was about, so we carefully parked outside his house on the opposite side of his fence."
"Right as it was starting, we blasted the train horn and peeled out before anyone knew what happened."
"News got out later and we found out the party we bombed was actually a wake for his late grandfather."- G4rg0yle_Art1st
Seemed Harmless At The Time...
"You know how people bag up their leaves and leave them out by the street?"
"As a teen we used to go out at night and dump them back out on people's lawns."
"Thinking about it now I would be so pissed if someone did that to me."- Toastbuns
They Didn't Have ANY Doubts?...
"When I was about 15 a neighbor of ours stopped us in the road and chewed us out for riding our go-carts in the road."
"This despite the fact that it was a dirt road in a rural area which was the perfect place for riding go carts."
"He was a complete a**hole about it too."
"I don't know where I got the idea from but I promptly went home, called the electric company, pretended to be the neighbor, and told them I wanted my electricity turned off as we were moving."
"It was the eighties so they just looked the account up by name and address and promptly entered my request in the system."
"I'm sure it was just a minor inconvenience for them but they deserved it in my opinion."- BaconReceptacle
Personal Demons Are Hard To Fight
"The day before I stopped drinking alcohol altogether, I was in a really dark place for a number of reasons."
"And I was ABSOLUTELY using alcohol as a crutch."
"One of the reasons why I was in such a bad place, emotionally, was because my cousin was in decline due to glioblastoma."
"I was actively seeing this person, that I loved dearly, lose his sense of self and ability to understand conversations and situations."
"And he was young—just turned 50."
"There was a lot of light in the beginning, but considering that glioblastoma is effectively a stage-less brain cancer, it was almost guaranteed he would lose the battle."
"The day that I stopped drinking altogether was the day that I was supposed to drive him to a research institute for his monthly treatment and check-in."
"It was the only time I was asked to take on that level of responsibility, as his wife would normally take him."
"I helped in a bunch of different ways, like hanging out with him when he’d otherwise be alone, but this appointment was pretty big."
"I depressedly drank myself into a stupor the night before and missed our meet-up time."
"I’d said that I’d be there no matter what, and I wasn’t."
"The appointment happened, and he 'reassured me' everything was okay as he knew the battle was over anyway."
"But I will never forgive myself for that."
"Even typing this out makes me feel like the biggest piece of sh*t."
"I wish I were sober then."- ssssskkkkkrrrrrttttt
Credit where it is due, just about every one of these people admitted to doing something wrong.
Even if it doesn't excuse their actions, as knowingly doing something you know is wrong might make it even worse...
One of my least favorite parts of job hunting is the interview. It’s nerve wracking to try and guess what the best way to present yourself would be, and I find out doubly nerve wracking because I’m so shy. However, it is an integral part of process, and not just for the employers.
While the point of an interview is for the employers to get to know potential hires and make sure they know what they’re talking about and would be a good addition to the company, potential hires can use the interview to their benefit as well.
You get to find out more about the company, the people you will be working for, and the work environment. You’ll know if the company is going to give you what you want, and if the workplace is pleasant or toxic.
Redditors know this all too well, and are sharing their stories about what red flags during interviews clued them into the fact that the workplace is toxic.
Curious to know more, a Redditor asked:
“What are some red flags in an interview that reveals the job is toxic?"
The Tax Break Ain't Worth It
"In one interview I was enthusiastically assured that overtime wasn't an issue, but if you pick up an extra shift they pay in gift cards so that it saves you on taxes."
"I know they're trying to save themselves employment taxes and time and a half, they're not doing me any favors. I declined their offer."
"The IRS wants a word with you."
Time For A Vacay
"I always ask everyone in the room when their last vacation was."
"This is a great tip."
"Or some variety of how often they take vacation, especially for places with "unlimited" vacation. I interviewed at such a company once, and my interviewer said he never took off and was talking about a coworker who takes off frequently in an annoyed tone."
Started From The Bottom...And Stayed There
"“We’ll start you at minimum and re-evaluate in a month”"
"...which turns into a year."
"When I mentioned a company's dismal Glassdoor evaluations, they became so enraged that they ended the interview. Well. I suppose I escaped that danger"
"I brought up a company's poor Glassdoor reviews during an interview before too (they were all complaining about the owner of a small company). The folks interviewing me looked at each other and said that the owner could be difficult but he's in Mexico most of the time so I'd never have to see him. I accepted the job because I was desperate but sadly that was around the time the owner decided to stay around and get his hands in everything. I was only there for 8 months and I think five people left before I did because of him."
Not The Boss You Want
"Had an owner of a restaurant tell me "If you have a problem don't come to me cause you won't like how I fix it" Yeah, keep your job."
"One of the key functions of being a boss is helping the people under you solve a problem. What a douchebag."
High And Mighty
"The interviewer keeps telling you how fortunate you are to be there like they are doing you a favor by giving you the job."
"I’m a teacher. My last principal reminded us in every meeting—usually more than once a month—how lucky we are to be working there. My new principal starts every meeting—two per semester—by telling us that we are talented enough to work anywhere and he’s honored that we choose to work with (not for) him. It’s a drastic and beautiful change. My new school mostly was hiring because the district was growing and they simply needed more teachers. My last school was hiring because they had a 50% turnover rate."
Know The Numbers
"Trying to get you to agree to start before they tell you what you’ll be paid."
"I applied to a position out of state and was offered the position during the phone interview. When asked when I could start I replied two weeks, but stated I couldn't accept without knowing how much it paid and having that in an official offer letter/email."
"This dude lost his sh*t and said all huffy puffy "Well, I mean, I don't have the numbers right in front of me, but I guess if you have to know I can get that for you." I said yes, I have to know. He said he'd call back. He never did."
The Answers Are Obvious
"Once I had an interview where they silently gave me a questionnaire to fill out for 50 questions and just went to another room. The questions were very detailed and stupid, mostly about money. ‘Is your goal to make money in our company?’ (If the answer is ‘yes’, then you didn’t pass). I left before I even finished answering this list. And then I found out that they register employees for an incredibly low official salary, promising to pay most of it at the end of the month, but they delayed money for six months and don’t give it out if the person quit."
"I’m glad I left."
"I interviewed for one once where the manager spent the whole time asking me the usual questions in between rounds of berating some poor tech support employee on the phone about their payroll software."
"Also any time a hiring manager talks up the company's bonuses and raises to justify their low salary, you'd better believe you're not actually getting either."
Not All Heroes Wear Capes
"I drove about 4 hours to an interview in another city. I told the person interviewing me that I was happy at my current job and wouldn't consider leaving just for the higher pay."
"He stood up and looked over the cubicle walls to make sure no one was around and whispered, "You don't want to work here.""
"I passed on that job but while in the new city I applied for another job where I have been happy for the last 25+ years."
What A Real Interview Is All About
"When they don’t realize that you’re interviewing each other."
"After realizing this, I was never nervous again."
Not So Occasional
""We expect our employees to be flexible regarding work schedules:"
"Would you be available to work evenings, weekends, and occasionally on holidays with short notice according to our needs?""
"When they have nothing good to say about the person whose position they are trying to fill. They aren’t necessarily talking bad about the person- just little digs, almost passive aggressive."
Be Careful What Group You Invade
"Once you realize that all upper management is family."
"This, or they're all from the same church or community. Nothing like being passed for a promotion by the new guy because he's with the higher ups every Sunday despite being totally incompetent at the actual job. Classic nepotism."
"Or they are all best friends."
"So when you have to make a complaint against one of them, they don't take it seariously and they dismiss it because they think you are the problem when in fact, they are the ones who are toxic."
"(Yeah, I was in that situation)"
Know Your Worth
"An interviewer tried to convince me to lowball myself after I said what I’d accept as a minimum salary which was in their offer range from the posting. “If we pay you more you wouldn’t get a bonus at the end of the year, and you’d be really upset when everyone else got one.”"
"What he was “able” to offer salary wise was $10k below their posted range."
"I'd rather get a salary than a bonus anyway. A salary is guaranteed; a bonus is not."
There are more red flags here than most sporting events!
Do you have any to add? Let us know in the comments below.
Content Warning: Gore, horror, cannibalism.
Reading is an incredible pastime that can not only entertain but help to expand your mind.
But there are plenty of stories out there that will leave its readers chilled or up at night, possibly for weeks, thinking about what they've read.
Currently reading Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk, Redditor Kooky_Bicycle8475 asked:
"What is the most f**ked up book you've ever read?"
'The Metamorphosis' by Franz Kafka
"I read 'Metamorphosis' to see if it was really as cursed as everyone says it is."
"Yeah, I underestimated it. It was even worse."
'The Jungle' by Upton Sinclair
"'The Jungle' by Upton Sinclair actually made me puke."
'Cows' by Matthew Stokoe
"'Cows' by Matthew Stokoe."
"I read it in eighth grade and I regret reading it, it was so gross."
'Unwind' by Neal Shusterman
"'Unwind' by Neal Shusterman. There’s a scene in the book of it (unwinding) happening and I literally couldn’t sleep for a week."
"It really stayed with me and it took that same week for me to pick the book back up and finish it. So f**ked up and I felt that kids fear every step of the way."
'Outer Dark' by Cormac McCarthy
"Probably 'Outer Dark' by Cormac McCarthy. I read it years ago, and it still lives in my head."
'Wild Highway' by Bill Drummond and Mark Manning
"The most depraved book I've ever read is 'Wild Highway' by Bill Drummond and Mark Manning."
"Former KLF art terrorists on a quest to find Mobutu in former Zaire. Deeply racist, homophobic, misogynist, and violent. But can just about be read as the darkest possible satire, which I think it is. Probably."
"The only book where I actually, genuinely couldn't believe that what I was reading had been published. Just completely insane."
'House of Leaves' and 'The Hot Zone'
"House of Leaves... not really f**ked up, just a weird a** read. Words can't really describe it. It's hard to read as well. Took about 100 pages before it got to the point where I didn't want to put it down."
"'The Hot Zone' and 'Demons in the Freezer' also. Kind of non-fiction written in a very story-driven manner. Both are scary beyond anything because one deals with filovirus like Ebola, and the other talks about smallpox."
"The one on smallpox states that each of the three level-4 labs in the world had a supply of smallpox. When the USSR fell, so did their Level-4 lab. Guess what? Their supply of smallpox is in the wind, no one knows where it went, so 1/3 of the world's supply may very well be in the hands of terrorists."
"My wife read 'The Hot Zone' when she was five months pregnant, and she couldn't make it past the first 40 pages."
'The Good Old Days' by Ernst Klee et al.
"'The Good Old Days' by Ernst Klee, Willi Dressen and Volker Reiss. It's an exhaustive compilation of all the documents kept by the Nazis of the Holocaust, as they were committing it (they were fastidious record-keepers and still had tons left over despite trying to destroy evidence in the final days)."
"Most people don't know this, and I didn't before I read this book, that the killing of Jewish people started when Polish citizens started dragging their Jewish neighbors to the local gas station or other public square-type areas, to beat them to death with lead pipes as their other neighbors cheered them on."
"Germany started institutionalizing this murder by then taking trucks loaded with hundreds of people at a time (this is after sequestering all the Jewish people into ghettos where they were told they were being held for 'processing'), taking them out to the woods, and shooting them all to death 10 at a time. They'd kill men one day, women another day, kids the next, and each day they'd do as many as 10,000 people."
"Then, when the Nazis found that their soldiers were suffering PTSD from literally killing truckloads of kids with machine guns every day, they started rerouting the exhaust systems on transport vans so prisoners would be asphyxiated in the back of them."
"And then, of course, the SS soldiers in charge were complaining about the disturbing noises they were hearing as people begged for their lives in death, as well as the horrific mess of tortured bodies they came upon when opening up the back of these vans."
"And then Siemens Corporation, a major German corporation which all of you will recognize is still in business today, discovered that a pesticide they developed, Zyklon B, was the most effective tool for asphyxiation. And this was YEARS after the Holocaust started. Millions were already dead, but many millions more would die to Zyklon B in just the last few years of the war."
"So yeah, I bring this book up whenever some absolute ignorant jacka** tries to claim 'it wasn't as bad as they claimed it was' or that 'it didn't happen.' My grandfather liberated one of those camps and has the photos to prove it."
"Most disturbing book I've ever read and I don't even think I made it all the way to the end."
'1984' by George Orwell
"I read '1984' when I was 14 or 15 years old, and it kind of really hit me. Took me a few weeks to process properly."
'Pinocchio' by Carlo Collodi
"The original 'Pinocchio,' which my mom thought would be fun to read to me when I was maybe four or five years old."
"Holy s**t. That book is so dark, so bleak, and so gory. Pinocchio himself is the most disturbing character in the story. He's not the lovable, if wayward, kid we see in the Disney movie."
"Book Pinocchio is a twisted little psycho who delights in tormenting people. Disney's Pinocchio learns valuable lessons from Jiminy Cricket. When the talking cricket tries to give advice to Book Pinocchio, Book Pinocchio smashes him to death with a wooden mallet."
"I saw that Disney made a new version and something inside of me just went, 'NOPE!'"
'Tender is the Flesh' by Agustina Bazterrica
"I'm about 2/3 of the way through 'Tender is the Flesh' now. I took a break from it because it's so rough."
"The human cattle aspect is bad enough, but the emotional hell the main character goes through is probably one of the more difficult-to-handle things I've ever read."
"It's so well written and definitely worth the read if you like books that ruin your day."
'All Quiet on the Western Front' by Erich Maria Remarque
"'All Quiet on the Western Front.' I read this book on my lunch breaks at the first job I worked at."
"I was not expecting the ending and literally sat there silent for about 20 minutes trying to process it before having to punch back in for work."
"Great book, highly recommend not reading it at work."
'Childmare' by Nick Sharman
"'Childmare' by Nick Sharman. My mum's boyfriend lived in a house share and one of the guys there left it lying about. 10-year-old me just started leafing through."
"The plot is that lead poisoning in the water supply drives the children of London insane. Insane like bullies beating weak kids' skulls with cricket bats, and stabbing another through the eye with a pen, and so forth."
"Read it as an adult and it's pulp horror crap, but at the time, it was pretty nuts."
'A Child Called It' by Dave Pelzer
"'A Child Called It.' No question."
Oh, the Middle School Curiosity
"'Flowers in the Attic' by V.C. Andrews."
"'The Lovely Bones' by Alice Sebold."
"'Lolita' by Vladimir Nabokov."
"All from curiosity when I was a middle schooler."
Each of these stories are spine-tingling and haunting by their own right, and perhaps it's best that this subReddit has now been "warned" before opening one of these books.
But there are bound to be some horror-lovers out there who will seek these out in pure curiosity now.