Getting out of class as a grade school student was always a luxury. However, it is crucial to find the perfect excuse to do so, and "the dog ate my homework" just isn't doing it anymore. You gotta be more creative these days.
rocksugarrr asked: Teachers of Reddit, what is the weirdest excuse you've ever heard that turned out to be true?
"I had a sixth grader come into class very sleepy during test day. I asked her why and she said she is sleeping next to her dead grandma in the living room and has been too scared to sleep.
I asked her parents about this, turns out it's a cultural practice of theirs to keep a dead relative in the home for a few days while their spirit makes it journey to the afterlife.
To answer some of your questions: She was from a large Hmong family that lived in an small apartment. She also mentioned before the grandmother passed her family attached bells to the grandmothers clothing to scare away the spirits that were making her sick."
Now THAT'S an excuse.Giphy
"We had a kid in our class who was pure chaos. Came late all the time, forgot stuff, didn't do his homework, disruptive in class... you get the picture.
One day he came to school over two hours late and said the bus he was on fell into a sinkhole. Everybody was like "yeah, right", until the news came in that there had indeed been a sinkhole from a tunnel construction and that indeed a bus had slipped into it.
We never found out whether our classmate had actually been in it, but he swore he was."
"My pet rats dragged my history homework into their cage and "modified" it to fit in with the aesthetic of their shredded-paper nest.
I told the teacher the next day who didn't believe me until I could get my dad to vouch for me.
Teach was all 'Well if she wasn't lying, why didn't she bring the remainder in as proof?'
My dad: "'Because the papers were shredded and covered in rat urine.'"
"One of the girls I know from Uni works in a college (here college is a name for vocational school), and one of her groups of students jokingly said "they died" when someone was absent from classes.
So one day it went morbidly wrong when she asked why, say, Dave was absent, the group replied that he died, she laughed and said "okay, but seriously" and the class was just silent."
Otherwise, that would've been a really bad excuse.Giphy
"I gave this one.
I was in college. I went back to my house between classes only to find my roommates barricaded inside by police.
Why, you might ask?
There was a bull moose in our side yard and the fish and game people were VERY concerned.
So my lab isn't until 3 or something, and meanwhile there's like 8 officers having a standoff with a moose in my yard.
This continues until someone decides that the moose is an imminent threat and they're going to try to tranquilize it. So they try that and it fails. So now they're going to kill the moose.
It gets to be about 2:45 and I need to leave for my class and I'm summarily informed by the armed officer that my lawn is not safe and I'm to stay inside.
So I emailed my prof and was like "look I know you're not going to believe this but I'm barricaded in my house and they won't let me leave. I assume this will be on the news tonight."
Turns out it WAS on the news - they interviewed me - and I got an exemption on that lab. He told me later that he was going to 100% fail me because it was the worst excuse ever until he saw the news story.
(In case it wasn't immediately obvious, yes, this occurred in Vermont, because where else would this be a problem?)"
Hooray for technology.
"As a graduate TA for undergrad students I was teaching an online course and all assignments had to be submitted by midnight. A student emailed me (this is important) and said her internet was down and she couldn't submit the paper. As in logged into her email on the internet to email me that her internet was down.
The way the class was run, if she didn't submit the paper by midnight she got a 0 for the assignment.
I replied to her email (remember - her internet is down) that if she brought me a hard copy of the paper she could still get her grade. She shows up at my apartment 10 minutes later (I hosted study groups in the community room) with her hard copy paper and a half-melted internet router. She had emailed me from her smart phone that she had for her internship (this was early in the smart phone surge and few people had them).
Girl got her grade and we're still in touch! She proved herself to be an incredibly dedicated student and is now in graduate school herself!"
Now that's cool.
"I had a student who told me he was going to miss one of the exams because he was visiting a famous rapper in Florida with his family.
He told me that the rapper, who at the time was a relatively big deal, all over the radio, was his cousin and his family was flying out for a show and he couldn't skip it.
I mean, I would have let him make up the exam anyway, I don't really care as long as he takes it. But all his peers and I were kind of like "Yeah, right...okay, whatever you say man."
He was telling the truth. When he got back from Florida, said famous rapper Skyped into our poetry class and chatted with my students about poetry and lyrics and such. It was actually really cool."
Why improve on a classic?Giphy
"Not a teacher, but my dog literally ate my homework in high school. I had to read the Great Gatsby in English and I remember my teacher asking me where my copy of the book was.
I told him my dog ate it and he gave me that "really, bro?" look. Took out the completely destroyed copy and the expression on his face when he realized I wasn't lying was priceless."
"Obligatory 'not a teacher but' someone I went to school with who was late a lot came in one day talking about how he was watching the news.
Yeah right, 'David'. And why exactly were you watching the news?
Some plane had just flown into a building in New York.
My 'where were you' moment is sitting in Social Studies class listening to a kid tell the most obvious lie he had ever told.. only for it to be the truth."
Literally swam to the test.
"I was the student in this case. I was a new driver, headed to school at the crack of dawn to take an AP exam. For those not familiar, attendance is critical for these exams and you absolutely must show up on time or call the exam proctors to let them know you're going to be late. This was also central Texas in the middle of May, which is prone to torrential downpours
So, being a new driver I didn't want to take the highway so I'd just take a little farm-to-market road every day and figured it'd be fine. It was not. It was backed up to all hell because a portion of the road had flooded but Texans being Texans, people were still crossing anyway. So a 15 minute commute became 35. I'd failed to write down the proctors' numbers so I had no way to let them know I was going to be late.
I got to the parking lot about ten minutes after it was supposed to start. It had been raining so hard and the parking lot had such poor drainage that there was at least 6 inches of water covering the ground. And horizontal rain. Even with my umbrella I walked into that exam soaked from mid thigh all the way down, my shoes making a "squish, squish, squish" noise with every step.
Exam proctor: Why are you late?
Me: Sorry, the road was flooded. I had to swim through the parking lot
I was at least able to take the exam, though I was freezing. And before anyone jumps on me, yes I now know how dumb it is to walk or drive through a flooded area, but high school me didn't."
"I have a cousin who went to his math class and turned in his homework without any proof showing he worked on the problem. When asked why he didn't show his work, he responded with, "A NASA rocket scientist showed me a better way."
Well no one believes him, until they called his dad and he had to explain they had a family friend from out of town staying at their house and yes he was actually a NASA rocket scientist."
"Not a teacher but I got a frog stuck in my printer just before I was going to print an assignment. This was before email-submitted assignments were standard. Got an extra day because the professor had never gotten that excuse.
Also, HP sent me a new printer."
"Elementary Teacher here. I had a student tell me that her mom got mad and ripped up her homework. Naturally I didn't believe her. Weeks later at a parent conference the mom actually admitted doing so out of spite because the two had gotten into an argument and that she hoped it went against her grade. From then on I believed the student.
For the remainder of the year she tried her best to turn it in, on occasion I would receive the shreds of what was left of her completed homework.
She got a pass for the rest of the school year, whether it was turned in or not."
That's gotta be a whole lot of trauma.Giphy
"Mini unit on Lizzie Borden. (That sounds weird, but it was part of a news/investigative reporting unit for a journalism elective I teach.) Student told me she was having trouble focusing on the lesson because her dad is an axe murderer so it was bringing up a lot of memories and feelings.
Googled his name and yep, she wasn't lying."
Logic checks out.
"I failed to show up to class one time and this is the true story I told my teacher.
I was in my electronics lab and the power supply kept making this horrible buzzing/grinding sound. I'd smack it and it'd shut up for awhile before doing it again. Now, you're thinking this was my alarm clock and I was dreaming about being in the lab. And you're quite right. The thing is, in this dream I was a gigantic grape with arms and legs and a face. So once I realized that it WAS my alarm clock and I needed to get to class I was still enough in the dream to think I was still a grape. And fruit doesn't have to go to class. So I didn't.
The teacher stared at me for about 15 seconds and said "I wish I was a grape." and not another word was said about it."
Mercury in retrograde always screws everything up.
"That she couldn't finish the assignment in time because the planet Mercury was in retrograde motion.
She was correct, it was in retrograde.
I love this one. But I still downgraded her assignment for being late."
I don't see the appeal of these rooms.
Why would one enjoy being trapped in a room?
When you watch people trapped in a movie you cheer for their release.
But this activity has gotten super popular.
And people have gotten real creative in their escapes.
Redditor CaptainCatButt wanted to hear confessions from the great escapes. They asked:
"Escape Room employees, what's the weirdest way you've seen customers try and solve an escape room?"
I haven't tried these rooms yet. Not sure I want to. Highly claustrophobic. Convince me...
"I used to work at one. I can’t tell you how many people thought that power outlets were a prop and tried to stick keys into them. Guys. There was a lamp plugged into it and a 'do not touch, not a part of the game' sticker on it. It’s not a trick, don’t do that."
"A friend of mine works for an escape room and he told me one about a puzzle where the key to the next door was shackled to a desk by a combination lock. What you are supposed to do is figure out the combination for the lock from the clues around the room to free the key. What one group decided to do instead was get a guy on each corner and pick up the 150 pound desk and carry it across the room, slide the key into the lock, and then rotate the entire desk to unlock the door."
"I am not an escape room employee but I did a lot of em and talked to the employees often. One of them told me there was a simple lock (opened by a key) that had 'Yale' written on it (the name of the lock company) and a lady (not native English speaker) thought it read 'yell' and legit shouted 'OPEN!!' at it, expecting it to open."
searching the fountain...
"Recently went to an escape room with my co-workers. Before we started, we were explicitly warned not to touch or drink the bright blue water coming out of a fountain because it would turn our skin blue - clearly people had tried searching the fountain as part of the escape room previously and now they have to warn everyone."
Voice of GodWhos That Voice Of God GIF by Shark WeekGiphy
"I was in an escape room once where one puzzle involved some objects that needed to be manipulated inside a structure that made it very awkward."
"We were all looking at it trying to figure out how to proceed when I said 'Well, the bottom is held on with screws and I have a screwdriver in my purse, but that would probably be cheating.' Instantly the Voice of God came over the intercom 'THAT WOULD BE CHEATING!' So we didn't do that..."
Well people really do get creative at this game... don't they?
"Had a group of engineers who were familiar with the style of the lock effectively reverse engineer the lock. They showed us how they did it afterwards."
"When I was in one they told us several times that the fire extinguisher is NOT part of the puzzle. They said it so many times, I'm 98% sure someone once used it lol."
"I always wait to see if they say not to disassemble smoke detectors, if they have that warning, I ask about it, and every time they will always have a story about a dumby who ignored the warning labels and disassembled the smoke detector."
Group of 4
"There was a story on here a while ago about a guy in a group of four who took a broom from the first room because 'it had to be for something.' He said it looked too out of place to not be needed. Well he was half right. It was out of place but that's because it was the broom used by employees to clean the room."
"It was simply forgotten when they cleaned last time. The guys giving hints thought it was hilarious that this guy carried a broom through four rooms expecting it to be the key to their escape at some point. I thought that was funny as hell."
"Take in a screwdriver and dismantling furniture or taking doors off hinges... all the while we specifically tell them not to use force and that furniture is just furniture. Though I don't care cause they gotta pay the damages. Also had some groups press our panic button cause that opens all the doors (for emergency cases)."
"So they can skip puzzles and be faster. Makes zero sense to us cause they are paying for an hour of playtime and to solve puzzles, not like the prize is reduced cause you solved less in fewer minutes. Especially since our prices aren't cheap."
IdiotsIdiot Facepalm GIFGiphy
"Breaking EVERYTHING. Trying to eat or drink things they should totally not be trying to eat or drink."
Even though there are a million ways to escape, I'm still gonna pass. My claustrophobia won't allow it.
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Different cultures are fascinating and add color to our world.
While many cultures should be celebrated, there are some individuals who just can't help but reserve their opinions about those whose behavior and customs differ vastly from their own.
At the risk of coming off as offensive, some might even call these customs, "weird."
European culture got the spotlight when Redditor CoffeeBoy88 asked:
"What is something weird about Europe that Europeans don’t realize is weird?"
Apparently, there's never a dull moment in European nations.
"German tourists are OBSESSED with mooses."
"The UK has 30 accents per square mile. And if a large man calls you duck in Stoke … that’s okay."
"Norwegians don't close their curtains when it gets dark."
"The amount of mosquitos in Finland, Americans go crazy in Spring because of it."
Redditors discuss what it's like traveling around Europe.
Come And Go As You Please
"How incredibly inconsequential it is to cross country borders. Cycled through France - Belgium - Netherlands and there is barely even a sign."
"You drive five hours in the US: you’re basically still in the same place."
"You drive five hours in Europe: everyone’s talking funny and the cheese is different."
The Short Commute
"The first time I was in the UK my husband wanted to go to Wales and I looked at the train route from London and was like 'It’s all the way on the other side of the country! We’re only in the UK for a week. We don’t have that kind of time!' And my husband was all, 'you know it’s a 2.5 hour train ride, right?' I thought it would all day."
Germans In Transport
"the absolute lack of air conditioning even at 40°, german transport gets sticky and stinky quite fast and nobody seems to care, many people even shut the windows to avoid the 'annoying breeze.'"
Maintaining distance was a thing long before pandemic measures recommended people to be socially distanced.
All About Respect
"Finnish people are silent, small talk doesn't exist. Their personal space larger than COVID-19 social distancing rules, and it's considered normal. Don't speak unless spoken to, and don't invade other people's personal space - it's seen as a sign of a respect."
"Those Finns, who haven't been to abroad or haven't met too many foreigners, don't often even recognize this behaviour being unusual in the global scale."
The "Safety Coffee Cup"
"I'm from Finland and one European thing that all Finnish people hate is cheek kisses when greeting. Its mostly southern european thing but still. There is this saying in Finland that goes 'Everyone has their own safety coffee cup' meaning the closest distance someone should get to you should not be closer than your coffee cup when you're holding it."
Let Them Shop In Peace
"Weird at first but I appreciate and wish for it. It might be just a Germany thing but from what I’ve been told German Walmart failed because the North American style of customer service was very unliked. From the greeter at the door to clerks asking if you need help unprompted. German shoppers just want to shop and go home as undisturbed as possible."
I remember being weirded out when I went to Paris and asked for some ice at a cafe.
The waiter served me coke by opening the room temperature can and poured some of the contents into an empty glass. With no ice.
When the server came back, he had with him a spoon with one ice cube on it. I thought it was stingy but it got worse.
He poured the rest of the coke over the ice on the spoon he was holding and then walked away with the ice and spoon.
I guess the coke was colder than when I had my first sip, so according to the server, it was viola: mission accomplished!
Do the French not like ice-cold beverages? Weird.
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Just because a therapist is there to expertly evaluate our emotional challenges throughout many of life's adversities and crises, it doesn't mean they always hold it together.
People tend to forget that therapists–the professional we seek for guidance when we're vulnerable–are also human and are just as prone to feeling the feels.
Curious to hear from therapists who've exposed their emotional vulnerabilities in front of their clients opened up when Redditor Unkw0n_pers0n asked:
"Therapist that have cried in a session, why?"
A patient who feels seen and understood reinforces why therapists endeavor to help people in the first place.
It Wasn't Her Fault
"I was working with a deeply depressed client who had a lot of negative self talk about how she was always a failure. We were exploring the origins of this and how young she was the first time she felt self-blame. She told me her earliest story of when she was in 2nd grade."
"Afterwards, as we were processing it, I expressed that 'it wasn't your fault' about the story. She just broke down sobbing and said 'nobody has ever said that to me before' in between sobs. It hit me and I cried a little."
"i cried after i worked with a kid who described an emotionally difficult situation with a sibling. the kid’s experience aligned very similarly to something i went through with my own sibling when i was the kid’s age and i hadn’t realized how much hurt i was carrying from the experience."
"being a therapist sometimes means being confronted with things you didn’t realize had such a strong impact on you. luckily, i have a stellar therapist of my own that i can work through these moments with."
The Patient With A Disorder
"I was doing a cognitive assessment for a girl. We were doing tests and at one point she started crying she was unable to tell me why, she was fine just one moment before. I let her collect her thoughts, then she said softly 'I don't want to be more stupid than my friends'. She wasn't actually, she was very bright, but she didn't know that she has dyslexia, dysorthograpy AND dyscalculia. I realized that she went through THIRTEEN years of school without help. Her parents didn't want to do an assessment as they thought she was just lazy. I told her that she was very brave to decide to get help and things would get better after our assessment and I felt tears in my eyes."
"Edit: first of all, I have great empathy for parents, for most of all is just a matter of ignorance, fear and parenting is hard. If you are a parent and you see your kid struggling, PLEASE listen to professionists, we are here to help, not judge, and we will find ways to help you and your kid. Disorders don't go away, don't underestimate it, the sooner you get help, the better the outcome can be. It's ok to be scared but we're here for you and we understand you."
"Second, I'm really sorry to read so many heartbreaking stories about people that weren't believed and struggled being undiagnosed. I wish you all the best, I hope you are in a better situation and you got or you'll get all the help you deserve, because you do deserve it."
"Third, if you think 'something's wrong with me', get help if you are in a position to do so. Worst case you understand yourself better and have a chance do make peace with parts of yourself."
A patient who has already accepted their heartbreaking fate recalls seeing their therapist getting emotionally involved during a session.
A Mother Who Didn't Want To Let Go
"My therapist cried while 'mediating' a discussion between my mom and I. I have a neurodegenerative disease and she is my full time caregiver. Because of my severe disability, she also has legal guardianship of me, even though I am in my 20’s (this is all fine with me, I need the help, and I agreed in court to all of it. This was the first true 'disagreement' that we ever had.)"
"I am ready to die. I am in pain, unable to do anything for myself, and it’s only getting worse. I asked my mom to sign a DNR, because I have been resuscitated before, it was a mess, and I don’t want it to happen again."
"She refused. She doesn’t want to lose her child and wanted to do everything medically possible to keep me alive."
"The session was essentially me begging her to let me go, while she sobbed and said she could never sign a paper that would lead to my death. It was a terrible situation. No one was 'the bad guy', no one was trying to hurt the other. It was someone wanting their suffering to end, verses a mother not wanting to lose her child."
"My therapist agreed that I should be allowed to make this choice, but certainly didn’t think my mom was manipulative or evil, just already grieving and trying to hold on to me as long as possible. I saw her wipe her eyes several times, and they were red by the time we were done. She actually hugged us both at the end."
"The situation wasn’t resolved during the session, but my mom came around shortly after. She wouldn’t sign the DNR, but gave me legal permission to do so (so, in her mind, it wasn’t her making the final decision.)"
"BTW, my mom and I have a GREAT relationship! This was just one issue that we couldn’t come to an agreement on ourselves. But it worked out, and I’m now in palliative care and have a great team looking after me, INCLUDING my mom!"
The following examples continue to demonstrate how therapists are more emotionally invested in their patients and clients than you think.
Responding To Tragic News
"I cried in a substance treatment group. A client’s mom had reached out via email to me to say that her daughter died from an OD. She called during my group so I chose to take the call and spoke with her briefly. I thought I could continue with the group. Ended up in tears instead."
She Patient Who Felt Unloved
"My patient cried and said 'there's nobody on this planet who loves me anymore.' I cried when I left because I knew she was right. For context: she was 95, her husband and son had died, she had a personality disorder that made her behaviour unbearable for her environment after her husband died and every person still in her life were paid for to be around her. She died a few months after this conversation."
It is unsurprising that therapists are compassionate people.
Otherwise, they wouldn't be in the room to help someone who is struggling internally.
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Much of the nation continues to reel from the news that a leaked draft opinion indicated the Supreme Court's ruling on Dobbs v. Jackson Women's Health Organization will move to strike down Roe v. Wade, the 1973 landmark decision that protects a person's right to choose reproductive healthcare without excessive government restriction.
Many people remember what it was like in the days before women could seek an abortion; many innocent women died in the absence of proper medical care or were forced to birth children they could not afford, trapping them in poverty.
But could a ruling overturning Roe v. Wade signal the loss of other rights in the future, especially those decided on the right to privacy, on which Roe was hinged?
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor thisiscubes asked the online community,
"Americans of Reddit, what are your thoughts on Roe v. Wade being overturned by SCOTUS as per draft reports?"
"It was the single most traumatizing..."
"I used to be pro-life for the most part but felt abortion was necessary in certain situations (i.e. rape, incest, whatever). I thought I would have never had an abortion myself. I thought I could always give up the baby for adoption."
"Until I gave birth last month. It was the single most traumatizing experience I've ever gone through. I'm healthy and my pregnancy was not complicated but my heart stopped working after getting an epidural. I coded."
"Once they got me stabilized again, my baby then starting decompensating. They literally had to rip him out of me because I was too far along to convert to C-section."
"I still can't control feces leaking out of me, even 6 weeks later. What a quality of life improvement /s."
"I wanted this child so having my body absolutely wrecked for the safety of my child seemed worth it, despite the pain and complications I experienced from it."
"But now, having gone through that, I cannot imagine any woman being FORCED to go through what I went through. Against their will. So I’m pretty pro choice now."
We are so sorry you had to go through that. We agree that giving birth can be harmful and traumatic, even for a wanted child, and no woman should have to go through that.
"I am currently..."
"I am currently in an OB triage hospital room waiting for a shot of methotrexate, which is considered an abortion."
"This pregnancy was so wanted. I had a miscarriage in February. I wanted this baby. But it is ectopic and it will kill me. And I am still crying so hard."
"My doctors have been amazing and caring and made this process so much easier. F*ck anyone who thinks the legal system needs to be involved here."
We are so sorry you have to go through that. It’s none of the government’s business.
"Roe wasn't the start of abortions. It was the end of women dying from abortion."
We can't clap enough for this one.
"Get our your wallets..."
"You think our social services are overwhelmed now. Get out your wallets because there is about to be a generation of babies born where moms won't have the means to feed, clothe, and care for them."
Sadly, this is all too true. It is a crisis in the making.
"My cousin had to terminate..."
"I had an abortion at 21 that saved my life. It was a terrifying and isolating experience, and the best decision I have ever made."
"My cousin had to terminate her pregnancy in the second trimester due to the fact that the fetus developed without a brain. She described the care she received as what kept her alive through her grief."
"If abortion was not an option, she would have had to carry to term."
I’m sick to my stomach over this. Women, especially women of color, are going to die."
Sadly, the statistics are on your side on this. Many women, especially women of color, are going to die, and many children will grow up impoverished.
"Scared. I work with survivors of sexual violence. I am a survivor myself. I, and many other folks, have had our bodily autonomy stolen from us before. To see it on a federal level is horrifying."
It is indeed frightening and survivors of sexual violence no doubt feel victimized alll over again.
"My daughter will never have..."
"As a woman, I will be legally lesser than males because I have a womb. My daughter will never have full autonomy over her body. Intersectionally speaking, women of color and under resourced women will bear the brunt of this. Nothing will change for white women of means."
White women of means can fly wherever they wish and get an abortion there. That will never change.
"The foster care system is proof the government doesn’t care about unwanted children yet want to force more to be born. It’s all politics though guarantee if any of them ever got in a sticky situation illegal or not an abortion will be had available."
The United States' welfare system is also awful and that seems to be by design.
"My wife had a miscarriage last year. Because we were well past the point of most miscarriages (not quite to the stillbirth cutoff, but not far away), we were told the odds of my wife passing the fetus on her own were slim and that surgery was the safest option."
"We were required by law to acknowledge in writing that the procedure would terminate the (dead) fetus and that it came at risk of infertility and death. Our doctor was required to tell us the developmental age of the (dead) fetus and which developmental milestones occur around that time, as well as offer us an ultrasound to see the (dead) fetus."
"We cried the entire time. We desperately wanted this child. Our doctor cried, apologizing every step of the way that we had to go through this insensitive BS on top of losing the pregnancy."
"This fetus was dead in every sense of the word but because the procedure in question is also used for abortions we had to jump through these goddamn hoops to avoid putting my wife's health at risk."
"And it's not like my state doesn't offer alternatives for nonviable fetuses, conception due to rape or incest, or instances where health is at serious risk. This WAS the alternative. If we were actually getting an elective abortion it would have been significantly more time consuming and soul-crushing. You literally have to take an online course."
"Abortion access in this country is already a joke. All this is going to do is get people killed."
This is a heartbreaking story and we are sorry that you and your wife had to go through that.
As you can see, overturning Roe v. Wade has significant consequences. While the actual opinion will not be released until the summer, it's safe to say that the United States is entering a new era and that an entirely new wave of activism has begun.
Have some thoughts of your own? Feel free to share them with us in the comments below!
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