It really is often not the student's fault when they're acting out. Crazy behavior in the classroom can so easily mirror crazy circumstances at home.
More often than not, teachers learn this lesson the hard way: through parent teacher conferences, phone calls, or other events in which they are unprepared to meet the source of crazy, erratic, or disrespectful behavior.
u/ThatJamesLad asked:
Teachers of Reddit, what are your "the parent is just as bad as the student" stories?
Here were some of those answers.
50. Training For Klepto College
GiphyElementary teacher here. We had a student who wouldn't stop stealing things out of other kids backpacks. We had caught him on camera and would call the parents and they would just say "no, that's his insert stolen item, we just bought it for him." Then, we get him on a positive behavior plan and create intentional lessons about empathy to others, setting goals to get what you want, the difference between wants/needs etc.
Eventually, he gets enough positive days in a row that he gets released from the behavior plan and receives a free bike as his incentive for good behavior (they were donated to the school by a local bike shop). The next day he tells me his uncle stole it and pawned it. He went right back to his old behaviors and it was heartbreaking.
49. That's No Parking Space
I had a student last year who was new to the school. Really nice, friendly, shy and hilariously absent minded. He would come to school at least 2 days a week with either his shirt on backwards, inside out or both.
So I wanted to talk to his parents about how his absent mindedness was affecting his learning. Mom shows up at 5. Dad shows up 1hr late. We have a good chat and they get up to go. As I'm walking them out I said I will show you the shortest way to the parking lot.
The dad replies with I didn't park in the parking lot so I said "You can go the same way to the street." He said "I couldn't find the parking entrance so I just drove around and parked on asphalt play area." Sure enough I walk by and his car is next to the play ground.
So it all came together after that.
48. When It Crosses The Line Of Sad
This one's sad. I was a camp counselor and I had a girl in my cabin with issues. She was attention seeking, kind of a mean girl, and generally wasn't liked by a lot of the camp. I honestly didn't give her a lot of 1 on 1 attention, which is something I deeply regret in retrospect. I only understood the issue because I was bus staff. This was a sleepover camp.
Her session was 2 weeks and her parents had elected for her to take the bus back and they'd pick her up. The bus was early but plenty of parents showed up early they were so excited to see their kids. As we got closer to pickup time, the crowd dwindled until there were just a few left.
A staff member asked for the kids still there so they could make phone calls. All but one were in traffic and on their way.
My camper's parents said no. They said they had two more days of freedom, they wouldn't take her, and said we needed to put up with her for a couple more days. They each said this individually and hung up. Neither responded to follow-up calls. Staff told me to go home and they were left to figure that one out. My parents always hated me, but this was shocking to me. That someone's parents would absolutely refuse to let their 12-year-old into their house.
47. Mirror Mirror
High school teacher, and we have something called Soft Lockdowns (known as Shelter in Place by some schools) where doors are shut and locked but classes continue as normal. These are pretty common and can be used for anything from a medical emergency (want everyone out of the hallway if someone needs to be cared for, because high schoolers are nosy) to a fugitive running around the neighborhood.
We've been in many soft lockdowns because parents have come to the school ready to hunt down and beat the crap out of a teacher. They usually come in the front office (can't access the rest of the school without someone opening the secured door) screaming, cussing, threatening everyone in the area, you get the picture. Often, they're removed by the SRO and given a criminal trespass citation.
We have a pretty high rate of fights and violence between students. When I see parents acting this way, it all make sense.
46. Wicked Smaht
A bit different because this is a positive story!
I'm not a teacher but I TA'd for a freshman chemistry class last year, so college kids but ones that were in high school like three or four months previously. One kid in my section was amazing: scary smart, always got great marks on assignments, asked fantastically phrased questions that the professor loved to answer, was a joy to be around during the lab section because he was so easy to be friendly with; he clearly loved and excelled at the work and enjoyed being in the environment, which definitely extended to the rest of his lab group (they were consistently the most talkative but also got the highest marks on assignments).
About halfway through the semester we introduce a concept that he struggled with a bit so he came to a few tutoring sessions and he was a joy to help 1 on 1. Our third tutoring session was in the campus Starbucks and went late so he had to get his dad to pick him up because his ride to campus that day had already left. His dad came a bit early so he ordered a drink and sat down with us for a bit and I immediately understood where this kid got everything from.
His dad was wicked smart (asked relevant questions in a way that made me think about the material in serious depth, same way that his son did), cracked a couple of dad jokes that made me laugh, and was beyond easy to talk to, to the point where we had stayed an extra 30 minutes beyond what we were supposed to, swapping between going over the material and cutting up. Just a joy to be around from day 1 until the day of the final and the apple clearly didn't fall far from the tree.
45. Control
I had a student many years ago, call him M. He was a sweetheart in the classroom, never answered back, did as he was told, engaged and interesting. But, outside of class, he wasn't allowed to be around other students, escorted class to class, because he would start a fight EVERY time, and i mean that. I could not wrap my head around it, until Parents Evening.
His Dad was a hulk of a man, mother was sadly deceased. He was clearly abusive. He kept his hand on the back of M's neck, leading him around like that. M looked like he was going to his own execution. Was told later that authorities were involved, but M lashes out all the time because it was the only time he felt he had some control. Would never talk back to an adult because he was just scared of us all. He didn't make it the year before he disappeared, but I still think about him.
44. The Lies, Margaret, The Lies
I had a student who repeatedly lied about assignments, saying he'd turned them in and his teachers had lost them. As a team with admin present, we conferenced with mom and dad, who deflected and provided excuses that he just "doesn't like school," and, "if my son says he did something, he did it. We value integrity in our family." Three months later some friends of mine invited me to a bar a few towns away to see a band perform. Near the end of the night, I ran into the mom who is out on a date with a man who isn't her husband. From that point on, she wouldn't return any of my emails or calls about the son's behavior. She is now an administrator in another county.
43. No Devils Here, Son
I teach elementary music but I also assist in before school care. There was one boy (3rd grade) who was sitting at a table with several other students. One girl was attempting to engage with the boy and he abruptly stands up, points at the girl, and screams "YOU ARE THE DEVIL". Obviously at this age there needs to be intervention because you can't talk to other in that fashion or with that language. We always try and talk through emotions rather than explode.
Call the mom and explain the situation. The moms first and only response is "Well, if he called her the devil, she probably is the devil"
Pretty clearly can tell where that behavior comes from.
42. Buh-what?
Not me, but a friend of mine is a professor at a Christian college. They had a student who wanted to do a topic about how "being gay is a sinful choice" and the only source they listed was their dad. When the teacher said that their assignment needs to be something that has academic backing, the student responded by claiming that their dad is an expert on the "choice of gayness".
41. I See Myself
GiphyNot a teacher, but am a parent. The story I always think of when I see a question like this is when I had a routine pre report card conference with my son's first grade teacher. She was telling me about how he didn't take some of his school work seriously and sometimes didn't finish it.
As an example, she took out a handwritten book that he had written about penguins as an assignment. It started out nice, with legit penguin facts, and then after the first ten pages, it became a bit silly and then ended abruptly with: "A penguin has never seen a leprechaun."
I started laughing; I couldn't help it. I was doubled over gasping for air, crying from laughing so hard. The teacher obviously didn't think it was funny, and seemed surprised that I was cracking up, but she politely conceded that "maybe it was a little funny." I'm 100% sure that she thought to herself, "ugh that's where he gets it."
40. She Probably Don't
I called home because a kid was coming to school inappropriately dressed every day. I'm not playing the "girls's bodies are distracting" card, I'm worried because the kid is dressed like she's about to work a corner. Of course I don't put it that way to mom, I just mention the kid is violating the school dress code and start to explain how when I'm interrupted with " You just jealous cause you don't look as good as she do "
39. This Is What We Call "Awful"
I had these two teenage girls in my class who were best friends, but they started acting really strange around each other. A couple days into this weird behavior I heard a loud commotion outside my classroom. Both of the girls' fathers were having a fist fight right outside my room, and the girls were screaming like banshees. I found out later that one of the girl's dad had been banging the friend and she spilled the beans.
38. When It's ALL Genetic
GiphyHad a kid in 3rd grade who could not focus. All over the place. ADHD for sure, though it's not my job to diagnose. Mom came in for report card. I couldn't get the mom to focus. Every time I'd start talking about something ("So, here are your son's reading grades... Here's how he did in comprehen..." "How about math? How's he doing in math?" I'd try to redirect her, but she'd interrupt me to go onto something else. After a while I thought whatever, handed her the report card, and told her to contact me with any questions.
37. Bully Bully
Not a teacher, but I had a kid in class, we were about 10 y\o, and he was a bully, hitting people and stuff. The teachers and the principal were being soft with him, trying to make him correct his ways. At the end of the year we had an activity where the principal talked in front of the whole school. The father of the said kid just came up, head-butted the principal, and sent her straight to the hospital.
36. No Punishment
It would have to be the mother who was a teacher herself, though not at my school. I got a rough draft from a student (who was 16/17) that was 90% copied directly from Wikipedia, hyperlinks and all. I called the mom and explained he would be receiving a zero for the rough draft assignment as a result of plagiarism. She called a conference to defend it because I never explicitly said they couldn't copy and that he should get another chance because it was a rough draft. Never mind the Honor Code each student signs at the beginning of the school year that explicitly laid out plagiarism and the standard consequence of a zero, I guess.
35. The Best Of The Best
Ive only seen one positive one so let me add another. I teach high school art, and I had one student who wasn't technically advanced but always was smiling and trying his hardest. He was always cracking jokes to his friends, to the point of where his friends would sometimes be annoyed cause they were the corny kind of jokes. But I was always laughing and he never gave up and keep smiling.
For the end of the year, if the kids took home all the artwork and took photos of their parents looking at their work and showed me the photos, they got extra credit. So he brought in photos of his parents looks at his work and oh my god they were hilarious! His mom and dad looking shocked and amazed in one, put on serious faces and hats and looking sternly at his self-portrait, ridiculous gasps and expressions, the whole nine yards. I laughed so hard! It made so much sense that such a fun loving kid had parents like that, that were willing to joke around for his extra credit.
34. Nasty Names.
I had a preschooler call his mother a nasty name. This would be upsetting except the day before; she said it quiet enough that other children or people wouldn't hear, but my coworker swore she heard her say it.
We have our scheduled conference and she doesn't understand why he says such nasty things to her. LeMechantLoup23
33. Drop Everything!
GiphyI once had a student who thought I should drop whatever I was doing and help him immediately any time he asked a question. One time, I was working with another student and this kid yells across the room that he needed help. I told him I would help him when I was done and to please raise his hand next time.
Apparently, this set the kid off because he went on a loud tirade about how I was racist for not helping him. Never mind the fact that the student I was helping, who he wanted me to abandon, was the same color as him. I ended up kicking him out of class after he went on and on about it for awhile, which he said only confirmed my racism.
Everyone else in the room just kind of stared at him as he left. He got suspended from my class for a couple days, which meant I needed to inform his family.
I never actually spoke to his mother, because his aunt was listed as a contact about any incidents. Turns out he and his mother were living with the aunt at the time. But the aunt explained to me that he had learned this behavior from his mother, who demonstrated this behavior any time she felt she was wronged.
The aunt said she was trying to fix her nephew's attitude and promised me that it didn't matter if her sister thought it was fine to teach her son to act that way, because it wasn't going to happen again while they lived in her house. And you know? She was successful. The kid never pulled that crap again, at least not in my classroom. ThreadWitch
32. Last Straw Mom.
The mother who was screaming in the office "I'm gonna hit you in your face" because a tutor dared to say the kid was having behavior issues during free tutoring.
Now I know why the 5 of your 11 kids in our school are terrible hot messes. Poor things don't have much of a change.
Mom was banned from the building because this was the last straw. OhioMegi
31. Sledgehammer.
My partner used to be a high school teacher, and he always tells me the story of how one time one of the kids dad's showed up at the school with a sledgehammer because he gave their son a detention. If I recall the detention was for fighting too. ApatheticPumpkin
30. The Truth Hurts.
GiphyI got a phone call from a parent basically saying that a few other children had beaten up their child, so the following day we take aside that child, then all the other children (in the end turns out there were 9 other children involved) and it turns out to be the complete truth.
The children had been arguing about a video game (they're 10) and this one child had a different opinion to the others, so they push him to the ground and while he's curled up on the floor, they start kicking him.
My Head teacher contacts the parents of the children involved to let them know and explain the punishment.
Fast forward to the next day when one of the parents comes into school and starts shouting at their child in front of his whole class and teacher, asking him why "the heck" he admitted to doing it, what was the matter with him and how he was stupid for doing so, before taking him and his two siblings out of the school. This child was one of the ones who admitted straight away to doing it and had burst straight into tears and was clearly feeling guilty. costarcoffee
29. Poor Sap.
Early in my career I was the poor sap that got roped into doing home visits to work with parents that couldn't meet in school. 6th grade child with extreme behavioral disturbances. Would make moaning sounds in class to upset other students, told one of my colleagues he'd 'slap the black out of her.'
I pull up to the apartment complex and start looking for the right unit. I'm sudden distracted by very obscene, very loud moaning above me.
Child's mother and not the father were very naked, having sex out on their deck, standing to the open rest of the apartment complex. Dad was listed to live at that same address. I decide I want absolutely nothing to do with this situation, and as I'm putting in reverse, a utility truck flies in behind me and parks across two spaces. Guy gets out and yells up at the woman, "I told you I'd beat him if you din' stop."
Starts throwing screwdrivers and wrenches up at them.
I noped out of there so fast. Afterwards I had much more empathy for the kid - he grew up in an atmosphere so unbelievably screwed I had never conceived it could actually exist. DigitalPriest
28. Too Lazy.
Obligatory not a teacher, but I worked as a camp counselor. We had an 8 year old who managed to poop his pants about 4 times in 2 months. We'd tell the mother, who just waved it off saying that he was just "too lazy" to go to the bathroom and that he always did that. Regular 8 year olds do not routinely poop their pants but okay Karen. galacticbeee
27. A Family Issue.
A student got into a fight. That student called her mom, and the mom showed up with younger siblings. The mom got physical with administration. One of the younger siblings was talking crap as that happened.
Edit : I believe the mom had a toddler on her hip as she walked in the building, and she and to set that kid down before she got stupid. I only heard the sounds of this melee from my classroom. I unfortunately (or fortunately?) didn't get to watch this elegant drama unfold. My information is second hand.
Also, the funniest thing I've seen is one girl take another girl's pizza and then slap her in the face with it. That was of course a middle school. My first story took place in a high school. sourwyrm
26. The Pokemon Trap.
Not a teacher but a parent. My son asked if a friend could come over for a sleep over. No big deal, the name he gave was a friend of his I liked and a good kid. Come the night, its a different kid with the same name. Kids mom (whom I had never met) just says "are we doing this or what"? But heck with it, I had already committed and the kids seem thrilled about it. This was back when the Pokemon card game was huge with the school kids and they stayed up late playing and having a blast.
Although the other kid was a poor loser and argued a lot. In the morning the mom picks the kid up and pretty much acted like it was a huge imposition for her to have to pick him up at all.
Later that day, my son is going his binder of Pokemon cards and finds his shiny Charizard is missing. Which if you know the game, was pretty rare and the pride of his collection.
I call the mom and asked if, by chance, it had gotten mixed up with her sons cards. She flipped out, cursed like a sailor and threatened to call the cops on me for "falsely accusing" her son.
TL;DR Kid steals my son's shiny Charizard card and his mom threatens to call the cops on me. Liar_tuck
25. Ranting Tutor
I'm not a teacher but when I was in high school my from tutor was ranting about one child's mum. it was the final year and exams where approaching, this one lad would come to school but sleep the entire day and never do any Work, like literally non and would often fall asleep. He was asked why he was so tiered and obviously the kid just replied dunno.
After some digging they found out his routine was home from school, 2 hr nap, play call of duty all through the night and then have a bath before coming to school. His mum was called in and told what was going on and that her son was going to fail everything. Her response? "Well what do you want me to do about it" in a tone that suggested well your the teacher so it's not my problem. Poor lad slept through the handful of exams he turned up to. Boggo1895
24. The French Teacher.
GiphyI was a French teacher. Kid was in LEVEL 1 French. Clearly he put his assignment through a translator. I confronted him, he admitted it, so I gave him a 0 F. His family lost their minds. They claimed I was calling him stupid. Long story short... principal let him redo the assignment. SouthernGirl2016
23. I Swear.
Definitely not a teacher, but this is relevant, I swear.
After I graduated high school I heard that one of the best teacher I ever had ended up quitting. He was absolutely fantastic and just a very genuine human being; everyone loved him even if they hated the class. Well, the class behind me absolutely broke him.
I remember being a senior and watching the man become a hollow shell. At the end of that year, he ended up failing a girl because she never did her work, never tried, just kind of screwed off even with extensions and help, and constantly gave him crap. When the mom came to talk to him, she went OFF. Accused him being prejudice, doing it because he just didn't like her daughter, blah, blah, blah. She ends up suing both him AND the school and he quits. sure_okay99
22. Poor Lad.
Not a teacher but a lad I knew in school was a dealer. His mother worked in the police force so if she ever caught him she'd be obliged to report it as she could lose her job if she didn't.
Cut to a parents evening in Year 11 (15/16 years old) and he sits down with the teacher sat to our side to have his meeting while I'm having mine. After a small while I phase out and I chime in on hearing the teacher say he's not doing well and failing his classes.
This is towards the ends so as they end the meeting the mother shouts "I wish you weren't my son... you're the biggest failure... I hate you... you were the biggest mistake I have ever made"
Now not to judge home life, he was a little crap but he was not a nasty guy. I just don't know how a mother could talk to their son like that especially in front of his peers and other adults. drlemongrass
21. Thieves.
Middle school teacher. Students had attended a trampoline park as a field trip to award good attendance. While there, one student had stolen a rubber bracelet. Not a big deal but still stole it, nonetheless so the principal contacted the father.
The father called back and left a voicemail basically accusing the principal and the rest of the staff of thievery as well saying "How many pens do you walk out of that school with? How many pens purchases by the school do you walk out with everyday? My tax money!"
(Anyone who is a teacher sees how funny this is because, of course, we're providing our own pens!) 6roumyeskl
20. The Biggest Fool.
Not a teacher but one of the kids at my high school was the world's biggest fool. He would find something wrong with everyone and bully them about it until he found another thing wrong with them. He picked on me because I had muscley arms (I'm a girl) and that I'll never be in a happy relationship because I look so disgusting. I've had enough of his bull so I went to a teacher and told them.
Skip forward a couple of days me and a bunch of other kids he bullied were called into the office to tell our stories. He was there too and when the teacher gave him his consequence he said 'you can't punish me I'm gay.' He's been using this excuse since he came out in 2014. In no way am I homophobic but he just uses the 'I'm gay' card anytime he gets in trouble. He still gets in trouble and he has a meltdown and calls his mum saying the schools homophobic.
Mum comes in and punches the principle so hard she loses a tooth and gets a black eye and hurled abuse at her. Police are called and she isn't allowed back on school grounds unless it's a school event. I still wonder where he got his temper from 🤔. imabetamalewatchout
19. The Talented.
but i have this classmate who really likes to flaunt and is infamous for being one of the most annoying, arrogant people in world, although she does get the top grades. when she went to an international competition she won several medals and even a champion award (out of probably 1000+ top students who represent top schools) and her mom said to the other students "why are y'all so stupid, why can't you be as talented as my daughter?"
i wasn't there personally cuz I'm not smart but when the other students who were representing our school in this competition heard her say that, it was like such a moment of clarity cuz like WOW THAT'S WHERE SHE GOT HER ARROGANCE FROM!! itlva
18. Stop Yelling that Word!
GiphyA Caucasian student yelled the N word in the middle of class so following protocol, I contacted the parents. This was maybe 10 minutes before my contracted day was over (I was asking admin for help, getting numbers, etc) and when I informed the parent, the dad blew his lid and yelled that he was coming to the school right then and there because the school was messed up and was picking on his kid, etc.
I locked my doors, closed all the blinds and camped out in the counselors office until the office secretary gave me a clear sign to leave.
(Context: I was a long term sub. The original teacher have had run ins with this dad where he came into the classroom and yelled at her. I'm 5'5 and he's about 6'2 and twice my size. I didn't want to be intimidated by him physically so I left). jennylikessushi
17. The Croatia Story.
Not a teacher but i have a great Croatian teacher that would tell us stories of problematic students all the time. This is the one that is connected to the theme. Our teacher had a problematic student like any other. He thought was a trouble maker etc. One day she called his parent there and what she describes was a short tanned man with tattoos a jacket and sunglasses came trough the door. Now this isn't the oh crap part just yet. The real stuff begins when she noticed that he had a grenade on him (those are illegal in Croatia) and she had to keep calm during the whole conversation. I cant imagine the amount of stress. Edit: By short i mean dwarf. The_duck_lord404
16. Starts at Home.
Every problem kid I've had has had issues at home. I'm sure there are kids out there where this isn't the case, but anecdotally, I'm at 100%.
Kids that are rude and disrespectful have rude and disrespectful parents. Apathetic kids have apathetic parents. Violent kids have violent parents. I've only been teaching for 6 years, but I've left every disciplinary meeting wanting nothing more than to smack a parent and hug their kid... Luckily I'm in a great area and it doesn't happen often. Luckily I usually can become a soft place for the kid. Happy_Birthday_2_Me
15. The Out There.
As a teachers aide, I've seen quite a few badly behaved children with even worse parents but this kid was the most 'out-there.' He was consistently late to school, if he ever came, and always left before the end of school, which was his only saving grace for the rest of the class. This kid was 9 and still threw temper tantrums when things didn't go his way.
He was so self entitled and selfish that he had no friends and would constantly bully his classmates into handing over toys and lunch money. He was quite a stocky kid and knew how to throw his weight around to control other kids. But this was nothing, I repeat nothing, compared to his mother. She had multiple restraining orders on teachers and staff at the school as she would verbally and occasionally physically assault them. Her son would spin stories about other children hurting him and teachers being mean and she would lose the plot. She would enter the school whenever she wanted, usually during class time and insist on speaking with teacher, and refusal would mean getting cussed out in front of the kids or even get physical.
She's technically not even allowed on school property but has disregarded this. The police are called every time she comes but cause we're a rural school, it takes about 25 minutes to get there. Otherwise, his (paternal) grandma is pleasant and is fortunately the one who usually picks and drops him off. tahsii
14. Listen
I am currently listening to this book: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. Maybe some people in this thread will get something out of it. AManIsPleased
13. A Mess is a Mess....
When I was student teaching, I remarked to my cooperating teacher upon leaving a special-needs student conference, "It seems like most of the problems these kids have are coming from the parents." He laughed ruefully and said, "They're all coming from the parents."
If the kid is a mess, the parents are a mess.
Edit: Yes, of course there are exceptions. Unclench.
12. Hate is Taught.
GiphyThis is actually a story from a substitute teacher I have who used to be the principal of a smaller, primarily white school some odd 20 or 30 years ago. So their was a class of around 18 to 19 elementary school kids (3rd or 4th grade I believe), and their was only one little black girl in the class.
A couple of boys picked on her repeatedly and excessively for a while, calling her a little n word (this is an exact quote from what we were told in our 10th grade English class by the sub) until he called the boys into his office, and threatened a 10 day suspension (the most he was aloud to give without consulting the board).
Well one of the little snot nosed brats told his father, who came into the office and asked if the whole "10 day suspension threat" was true. He said yes, and that REALLY pissed this guy off. The kids dad proceeded to say "so you're telling me that if my kid calls that n word an n word than you're going to suspend him?!" And in response he said "yes now get out of my office."
The father threatened to take it up with the superintendent and get him fired, which didn't happen, and he worked their another 10 years before becoming a substitute teacher. The dudes really cool and I wish he would've been my principal. TokenFatDumbOne
11. No Reason.
Yay I can finally contribute! I teach high school.
Had a mom complain that I was failing her daughter for "no reason." (Daughter told mom I'm unfair and don't give her the same grades as other students no matter "how hard she tries" etc).
Lmao. I can count on one hand how often she came to class. When she was in class, she was on her phone. I love telling parents the ugly truth and letting them simmer while I sit there smiling.
"Is there any other clarification you need, Mr./Mrs. _____? No? Well, I guess I'll be seeing ____ in class tomorrow then."
uncomfortable silence intensifies while I continue to smile at parent
I also have plenty of parents who are incredibly supportive and I love you guys for being amazing parents❤️❤️❤️ thanks for making my job a little easier. finallynotlurking8
10. Damn Parents.
Honestly parents are usually worse than students simply because they should know better. The worse ones are the parents who think their kids are automatically entitled to something just because they attend the school.
It can be a downer sometimes when you realize over half these kids come from some sort of broken home or that some of those parents should have never had kids.
A few months ago, right before the end of the school year, we had a big fight where a few moms actually came on campus encouraging their kids to fight and then joining in themselves. ObiMemeKenobi
9. Making Progress.
Not a teacher, but I work for a tutoring company. One kid I'm working with is struggling to complete assignments, doesn't seem to care at all about school despite being brilliant. I work with him for weeks and we're finally seeing improvement. His attitude is still garbage, but he's willing to work.
Then, his mom takes him out of HIGH SCHOOL for a week for a vacation. And I realize all of a sudden that despite her lip service to how important school is, she doesn't actually get it. And her son picked up on her attitude.
He lost almost three months worth of progress in one week. I had no idea how to call her out on how bad of an example she was setting with that vacation. thewhimsicalbard
8. The Troubled Youth.
A friend of mine teaches in a youth prison. She says the best part of the job is not having to deal with parents. designgoddess
7. Indecent Offers.
GiphyI was teaching a freshman Economics course at my University and had a girl who showed up to maybe 3 classes that semester, at the end of the semester she came up to me and begged asking if there was ANYTHING she could do to pass the class, I gave her an extra credit packet and told her to get the while thing done by next week and we can talk.. well she did nothing and failed the class. I get a call from her mother asking why her daughter failed my class and if there was ANYTHING she could do, I told her it was to late now and I had given her daughter a way to fix the issue.
Not a week later I get a call from her father telling me I'm a smart man and how much would it take to have the grade "fixed." I have to report stuff like bribery as it's against the ethics code so when I told that story to the department head he looked at me and asked "why didn't you report the sexual advances from the student and mother" I looked at him blankly like what are you talking about. That's when it dawned on me, when they said ANYTHING they didn't mean more work. Palidd
6. Grades are Unfair?!
Taught middle school in a rural small town. Had one kid who was very nice, but lackadaisical and had Ds in most of his classes. His mom was a secretary at the district office and I, along with every other teacher, had contacted her multiple times about his behavior in class and lack of effort.
I was a first year teacher and we had a parent conference with him and the mom towards the end of the year as he was at risk for not participating in promotion. She talked down to each of us and acted as if we had not given her warning.
Before I can get a word out, she points her finger at me and yells, "And I don't even want to TALK to you about his grade in your class! I disagree with your unfair grading policy" (I give 50% off late work... more than any of my coworkers give).
Sure enough, he fails and doesn't participate in the ceremony. His punishment from his mom? Going on a weeklong trip to Disneyland before school gets out. jvnova
5. Mum the lawyer.
Had a 5 year old in the classroom next to mine who would slam kids hands in doors, stomp on their feet. Just violent to any other kid for no reason.
His mum (a lawyer) requested he be moved to a different room because it was clearly the teachers fault. It continued in his new class. Still the teachers fault.
At the end of the year he moved to a new school. The new school ended up having to get a Crisis Intervention team because of his behavior. But it was still never his fault. Whiasco
4. Everyone is a Moron!
My mother in law is one of those parents and I hate my stepson being around her for long periods because of it. She's the type of woman to constantly place blame elsewhere on whatever the kid did (never his fault or it's fine) until she's on the receiving end of it and then he has a problem. It's constantly everyone else's fault in her life and everyone is morons and she didn't do a damn thing wrong. She was that mom who would yell at teachers and principals. Reddit
3. Middle School is Rough.
Middle school science teacher. Confiscated a boy's phone for sexting a girl in class. We had a policy that the parents had to come to the school and retrieve the phone from the administration. Instead the father showed up in my classroom and threatened to kick my butt if I didn't give him the phone back. The school went on lock down and he was arrested. He got a month in jail for his idiocy. tseremed
2. Summer Camp Issues.
GiphyTeaching summer camp now. My group this week is the most disordered group of kids I have ever had. Like these kids cannot keep it together for a single minute straight. One day we had an alternate pick up location and not one single parent could figure it out. Not one. I get why their kids are so incapable of basic functions now. BigFatBlackCat
1. Steven.
I am a secondary school teacher in a pretty deprived area. I was really struggling with my year 7 (11-12 year olds) as it contained some pretty challenging kids. I was trying to focus on rewarding positive behavior so I told the class and anyone who was well behaved over both lessons that day would get a positive phone call home. I wanted to target this towards the worse behaved members of the class, particularly one kid who we shall name 'Steven'.
Steven had absolutely no concept of manners, he would constantly complain about being in lessons and having to do work, he would chat and walk around the room whenever he wanted. On this day however, he seemed excited about getting a positive phone call home rather than a negative one so his behavior dramatically improved. Throughout the day he kept asking if I had called her yet and telling me when would be best to call; he was genuinely looking forward to it. I called his mum and there was no answer so I left a message.
On Monday I asked him if his mum had got my message and Steven said that he didn't know. This absolutely broke my heart because it seems very likely that she did get it and just didn't mention it to Steven. The praise he was so excited to get when he got home never came. Why would a kid care about their education if their own mother doesn't appear to give a crap? sneakykeen123
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.