Teachers Share The Funniest Thing They've Ever Heard A Student Say
Hero Images / Getty Images

If you've ever worked with kids you know that their honesty and lack of filter can sometimes make them cringeworthy - and pretty hilarious.


If you haven't (or you don't have a thick skin) then you might not be able to appreciate just how funny kids can actually be. For those who can, this article should be a blast.

Reddit user moosepajamas asked:

Teachers of Reddit, what is the funniest thing you've ever heard a student say?


The answers could sometimes be insulting, sometimes silly, and sometimes downright baffling - just like kids themselves!


September 31

One time I was asking students their birthdays. One boy told me that his birthday was September 31st. I tried to explain that this was not possible, but he insisted. Later, I looked it up. I then informed him that his birthday was November 17th.

He looked at me kind of confused and said "ohhhh." Then his face brightened and he said, "Well, last year I KNOW it was September 31st!"

- RedditStateOfMind

Jesus

I teach elementary band. One time we were preparing for a challenging playing test and a student said: "Man, I need to practice."

Without missing a beat the kid next to him says "My mom says I need Jesus."

- moosepajamas

Shown Up By A 5th Grader

Was tutoring after-school a couple years ago. A kid asked "What time is it?"

I joked "Time for you to get a watch."

He responded "Time for you to get a new joke" without a moment's hesitation.

I had to laugh at getting shown up by a 5th grader. Two reading levels behind but witty as hell.

- Garlic_And_Sapphires

Jogathon

I had a student who was a newcomer (just moved to the US, almost no English) from Latvia. This kid is very bright and was one of my favorite 6th graders ever. We were having our annual jogathon, which is linguistically and culturally not translatable from Latvian.

Student: "So I pay you and you make me run?"

Me: "Yeah, that's actually how it goes."

Student: "This is simple. I don't pay you, you don't make me run."

Me: "uhhhh...."

- estrogyn

Rosa

Middle school field trip to a different state. One of the chaperones (a large black woman) wanted to get in a little nap in the back seat of the bus, so she made one of the students move to a seat in the front that was far from his friends. He got in the seat and started sulking. He was normally a pretty lively kid, so I leaned forward and asked what happened.

To which he replied: "I think I just got reverse Rosa Parks-ed!"

- almost_queen

The Moon

I teach sophomores. One day, this girl was sitting at her desk, looking very concerned, and obviously wanted to ask me something. Finally, she blurted out, "Did anybody else see the moon in the sky during lunch? It's supposed to be out at night, something is wrong!"

- cubfanbybirth

Physically

Teacher to student: "Were you in class yesterday?"

Student, sounding more lost than anything and probably answering too honestly: "Physically... ?"

It wasn't so much an attempt at humor as just the summation of how we all felt in that class, one of those "it's funny because it's too true" things... we all were showing up, we were all sitting in the class physically... but being there? That was another question...

- Allisade

The Ladies

First grade. 6 yr. old lil dude about 3 ft. tall and 80 lbs. walks in late from recess.

Me - "Why are you late?"

Kid - grabs his hunk of belly with both hands like a ball of cream cheese and says "The ladies love this!"

Sits down like nothing happen with no smile.

- BoBoShaws

Synchronized

Giphy

He asked me "If a synchronized swimmer starts drowning, do they all start drowning?"

I lost it in class.

- bunsenbernerr

It's A Miracle

I teach high school, and one of my sophomores referred to merry-go-rounds as "miracle rounds". He legit thought that's what they were called 😂😂 I corrected him and he refused to believe me lol.

- royalredhead

The Pizza Guy

I was sharing information about math in art to my students (they're about 13 years old) and mentioned Leonardo da Vinci. A student said: "The pizza guy?"

I was confused, but later she said, "See! The pizza party!"

We were looking at The Last Supper.

- catpflug

Astronomy

"I thought Astronomy would be easy because I know all about it but he hasn't even brought up horoscopes yet and we're 6 weeks in."

- chrisrayn

Budget Cuts

I teach band. One day I'm working with the high school jazz band and we're going to start mapping out some basic compositions. I pass out blank sheet music for them to use, which is simply blank 5-line staves with no notes, no symbols, etc.

One kid gets his sheet music expecting it to be a new song we're going to work on, sees that it's blank, looks up and says "Wow, budget cuts must've hit us hard, huh?"

- SquirrelSanctuary

Life Choices

Giphy

Math prof. I finished a proof and to check understanding, I asked "does everyone understand my choices?" One of my favorite students ever piped up and said "Are we talking about your proof or how you've chosen to live your life?"

- coldstainlessnail

Before

Giphy

Wore a Captain America shirt to school since the student council had a super hero day. A student said I looked like Captain America - before the super soldier injections.

- numero1uno

A truly stressful job can destroy your self-esteem and confidence. It's been said that people don't necessarily leave jobs, they leave management.

Indeed, bad management can leave you feeling unmoored and unsupported.

There has been a wider conversation about hostile work environments over the last couple of years now that the COVID-19 pandemic has afforded many people the opportunity to switch careers and/or call it quits with their awful jobs.

No job is worth your mental and physical health.

People shared their stories with us after Redditor yourmaeve asked the online community,

"Redditors who changed careers from a high paying but stressful job to a lower paying but low stress job, was it worth it, why or why not?"
Keep reading...Show less
People Share The Most Amazing Facts They Know About The Universe
Photo by NASA on Unsplash

There is so much we don't know about the universe.

So much, in fact, that everything there is to learn about the universe will probably never be discovered.

Mostly because the universe is constantly growing and evolving, leaving us with new things to learn about the universe literally every day.

Constantly filling our minds with uncertainty, sometimes fear, about the otherwise vast unknown.

All of this makes all facts we've discovered about the universe all the more fascinating, whether or not we have even the slightest interest in science.

Keep reading...Show less
Monogamous People Explain Whether Infidelity Would Result In An Instant Breakup
Photo by Ralph Labay on Unsplash

Romantic relationships have evolved considerably over the course of time.

Today, more and more couples who are otherwise committed to one another, in marriage or in word, have "open" relationships, where they are permitted to see other people on the side.

Also, many people are open about being in polyamorous relationships, where they might be equally committed and loving to more than one person.

Which isn't to say, however, that monogamous relationships are a thing of the past.

As many people continue to commit, body and soul, to one person and one person only.

And should one half of that couple break that commitment, it could be the effective end of that relationship.

Keep reading...Show less

The mark of a good piece of fiction is when one feels as if they actually know the characters.

Be it a film, television series or novel, there are some beloved characters we wish were actually our friends in real life, or whom we feel as if we've actually known all our lives.

As a result, when one of these characters dies, we sometimes feel as if we've actually lost a loved one.

Sometimes finding ourselves in a state of literal grieving.

Keep reading...Show less