Teachers have it tough.[rebelmouse-image 18360822 is_animated_gif=
They are under appreciated, underpaid, and under utilized. And they work so hard to make sure kids learn--but sometimes they have to go above and beyond their jobs to ensure the safety of their students.
u/GalagaMarine asked Reddit: Teachers of Reddit, what's the worst fight you had to break up?
Here were the stories they came out with.
Pencil Pusher[rebelmouse-image 18360823 is_animated_gif=
The worst fight I broke up wasn't because of students getting hurt, but because of how lame it was. First off, I teach middle school which is just one awkward moment after another. These two kids were arguing over a pencil because one kid supposedly broke the other kid's pencil. They were bickering back and forth like two old men and then they just broke out in really mediocre wrestling. It was embarrassing to watch because neither boy could even wrestle and I was able to just tell them to stop and send them to the office with no other issues. Another reason it was the lamest fight ever was because all the other students who were working at other tables went about their work and talking to each other and didn't even notice. Usually they would be chanting "Fight! Fight!" over and over and crowding around trying to film for World Star.
Pre-Grad For Post-Grads[rebelmouse-image 18360824 is_animated_gif=
I taught adults at a vocational school, mostly from rough neighborhoods. We had been warned to never try to break up a fight, as many of these students carried knives and so forth.
Some woman had a bad falling out with her group of friends, and was sitting separated from them. They were talking back-and-forth, very loudly, very aggressively across the room. I couldn't control them, and went to get a supervisor. With me and the supervisor guy there, one of the girls from the group came across the room at the odd one out. She is big, 6' and 250 lbs, and charges across the room at the odd one out, who is maybe 5' 2". Supervisor gets in between them. They fight around him for a second, then smaller woman slashes the face of bigger woman with a razor or something. That pretty much ended it, other than a few thrown things and tussle, but a lot of hair and braids were ripped out and there was blood everywhere. Supervisor was lucky. They literally fought around him, and the smaller one whipped that blade over his right shoulder to slash the other ones face. This was on a Tuesday, and they were to effectively graduate on Thursday. Insane.
Don't Out Other Kids[rebelmouse-image 18360825 is_animated_gif=
I am an English teacher in France. This happened in the classroom next door to mine and I just witnessed the aftermath and heard the gossip from my friend who did break it up and was there to hear the story when they got hauled into the admins office.
One of my male students was named Timothée, who was dating a girl named Ana a year under him. One day last year he apparently left his phone unattended and unlocked and she picked it up and started searching through it.
What Ana found was his very male 'best friend' Louis sexting and sending him nudes and talking about how much he loved him and Tim was texting back and being equally enthusiastic about the two of them being together out in the open once they finished school and were in university.
She proceeded to screenshot and send all those texts, sexts and nudes to her boyfriend's parents, before replacing his phone so he wouldn't know. Tim's parents are very conservative (and when I say very, I mean VERY. His mother once called me to complain about his grade in English and it evolved into a rant about foreign students that would make Marine Le Pen proud) and Ana knew so that's why she went this revenge route. This kid went home to be blindsided thanks to her, and apparently he had to basically flee the house because he was afraid of his father.
Louis turned up to school the next day, calmly entered Ana's first period class and went nuts. I just heard him screaming after he had been restrained which is when I went to go check. Louis was borderline hysterical and screaming about her being a b**** who ruined Tim's life. It was bad.
Melodic Mauling[rebelmouse-image 18360826 is_animated_gif=
That being said, the worst fight I saw was in a science lab. I was in the back of the lab installing some software to go with a digital microscope and a large 8th grade girl was singing disrespectfully while the teacher was talking. Tiny 8th grade girl behind her was getting PISSED and telling her to shut up because she couldn't hear what the teacher was saying. Big girl continued to sing. Tiny girl says for the last time "shut the f-ck up I'm trying to learn!" Then proceeds to leap over the lab table between them, grabs the big girls hair. They had to get a very large male administrator in there to pull her off. The teacher got elbowed in the face when she tried to step in, said screw it and ran out into the hall to get an admin.
Totally Forked[rebelmouse-image 18348607 is_animated_gif=
My uncle was a teacher for many years and was once stabbed by a student with a fork while breaking up a fight in the cafeteria.
Teddy Embrace[rebelmouse-image 18360827 is_animated_gif=
My dad is a 5'6" Hispanic dude, gentlest person you can imagine. His first teaching job was at a rough high school. Two guys (both much bigger than him) got into it but security was nowhere to be found so he tackled them both in a bear hug so all they could do was stare at each other in rage while my dad waited for reinforcements
Reclaiming My Time[rebelmouse-image 18360828 is_animated_gif=
Substitute Teacher here: I was randomly assigned for the very last period of the day to a... difficult class. All of these kids were enormous. Like, maybe they were football kids? All I know is my petite self wasn't even shoulder level with these kids.
So in a classroom full of enormous dudes, A few in the back kept picking on one kid in the front.
The (seriously huge) kid stood up and charged at the (super big) kids in the back, who all stood up, ready to fight.
My (super lame) reaction was to slam my tiny hands on the desk and yell, "EXCUSE ME!!! BACK in your seats please."
They all just sort of stopped and looked confused, and then sat back down. No fight. No problem. Nobody was more surprised than me.
I ended up leaving them some good notes for their teacher because honestly, any enormous guys who stop their big fight just because some tiny lady in a cardigan asks them to sit down -well, they can't be all bad.
Stay Safe[rebelmouse-image 18360829 is_animated_gif=
I had a student who fought a few times in my class, and was one of those "blind rage" type fighters who would just swing at anyone until he got back under control. He was manageable in my class but he was sent to homeschooling after a fight he got into in the hallways. Something stupid set him off, and he punched the other kid a few times before being restrained by one of the security guards...who he also punched in the face.
During the same fight, a teacher was trying to separate the two students, and he (accidentally, but still) broke two of her fingers. It dawned on me that day why they tell us to not get between students fighting. She was lucky that 1: she wasn't hurt worse, and 2: that she wasn't written up on disciplinary charges for breaking that rule.
Honor Code[rebelmouse-image 18360830 is_animated_gif=
I've only broken up a few fights, and they were pretty mundane but if there is one thing I know is that girls fights are worse than boys. Girls will go for your eyes, but boys typically stick to an honor code, no hits below the belt and all that.
Outta Dodge[rebelmouse-image 18360831 is_animated_gif=
I used to teach high school in rural Georgia. I had to break up a fight between two girls and a heavily pregnant girl. I never taught these girls and it happened between classes in the hallway in front of my room. The pregnant girl was on the floor screaming. I grabbed each of them by their upper arms and hauled them away very hard. One fell back on her a** and the other nearly fell. The one on her a** started crying about how I'd hurt her. The other girl acted like she was going to rush me or the pregnant girl. I grabbed her, held her back, and told her that if she tried it again I'd make her wish she hadn't. She tried to hit me, and i twisted her arm until she was on the floor kneeling. Meanwhile, one of the other teachers helped the pregnant girl and another called the nurse/principal. I was the only one to act for a good 30-40 seconds.
The Hairy Doctor[rebelmouse-image 18360832 is_animated_gif=
I had two girls fighting in my classroom, it turned into a hair pulling contest and my skeleton; Dr.Cal C. Ian (life drawing class) wore one of their weaves for the rest of the school year.
JV Fencing[rebelmouse-image 18360833 is_animated_gif=
My mom had two seventh graders using chair legs to fence each other.
The Riot Act[rebelmouse-image 18360834 is_animated_gif=
In my low-income urban public school we had an actual riot, with students punching police officers, tripping the fire alarm, damaging property, and screaming obscenities. School was canceled for two days as teachers reviewed security footage and suspended kids. Of course, it was a doozy to break up. A lot of dissatisfied kids in the cities.
Chaos[rebelmouse-image 18360835 is_animated_gif=
Actual Teacher here. It was after school and i was headed to the copy room. On the way is the cafeteria, which had been cleared of all the tables and was basically just one big empty area --- except for the huge mass of students that had developed.
I rushed into the massive crowd where two different circles had formed. It was literally like being at a metal concert with two mosh pits. At least 16 kids were fighting. When i broke through, one kid fell in front if me and the guy who pushed him ran up and did a Janikowski kick to his head.
All metal moshing instincts kicked in where my main goal was to basically push away as many people as possible and keep them away from each other until more AP's/officers could arrive to help.
It was chaos, so i don't remember much after that. To this day i don't even know why they were fighting. Once everything was settled, i picked my paper back up and went back to making copies.
Brawls In The Halls[rebelmouse-image 18360836 is_animated_gif=
I taught for two years in a very rough boys school where I had to break up fights almost daily. I'll share three stories.
The first fight was when two students started fighting because of ... well I can't quite remember to be honest. It probably started as an argument over which one's mother is a bigger w****. The fighters were grade 9 aged. It took 4 staff members to break the two apart, and even more to keep them separated after the initial blows. At the height of the chaos, both were throwing chairs, tables, and whatever else they could get their hands on. The end result was damaged windows, broken doors, and quite a few staff members that had cuts/scrapes/bruises from trying to keep the two away from each other. I'm pretty sure they met up outside school to settle their differences later that week.
The second story is a bit more lighthearted. In my first few months of teaching at the school, I rewarded a group for good behaviour by taking them to play soccer on their small hardcourt area. When I say good behaviour, I mean they hadn't assaulted or verbally abused each other in my class all week. Even though I was still new, I felt like I could trust them since they had been relatively well-behaved, and they were a small group. In the middle of the game, which was going great by the way, two players from opposite teams had a moment of frustration and started swinging haymakers. They both got a few good shots in, and by the time I was able to get in between them the fight was over. We took a 5 minute break, they shook hands and we continued the game. I didn't write them up for that one.
The last story is one of the few times where I legitimately thought I would have to defend myself. I was on duty at the hardcourt during break, and I challenged a student on his behaviour. He had been picking on a younger student, and all I had asked for him to do was stop. When he kept doing it, I approached and told him that he had to leave the hardcourt area. Once I was within 5 metres or so, he turned on me. He started telling me to f*** off, and cursing at me with every word in his vocabulary. Everything seemed to slow down at this point as he started to walk towards me, with what I could feel was an intent to hurt. At the same time though, I could sense the other students watching, and starting to move closer towards us. I began stepping back while talking to him, trying to deescalate the situation, and I even outstretched my arm towards him to try to keep space between us. Before the student was able to fully reach me, he was turned and escorted away by 3 other students. As s*** of a situation as that was, to me that incident had a silver lining. Even though at times I'm sure they all had their differences with me, that day I felt lucky to have those boys as my students. I'm not sure what would've happened if they hadn't stepped in, but I do know it would not have been a positive outcome.
Where Are The Teachers?![rebelmouse-image 18360837 is_animated_gif=
I'm not a teacher. But my highschool put a jukebox in our cafeteria one year and for a dollar you could play three songs. So these 3 girls put in like, 5 bucks and played 50 Cents' 'In Da Club' on repeat.
After the 4th or so repeat of the same song, some girl had had enough and went to unplug the jukebox. The three girls literally jumped her right there, punches and hair flying everywhere. I'll give the the one girl credit, she was holding her own against the 3 of them. This is all going on and that f-cking song was still playing, everybody's watching them. After about a minute in, some guy strolls over all casual like and unplugs the jukebox. They stopped fighting after that and that song was never played again. The end.
7th Grade Is Hard[rebelmouse-image 18360838 is_animated_gif=
My first year teaching, I had to break up a bunch of typical middle school fights- hair pulling, fighting over boys, weak punches when boys were involved (7th grade). We had a bit of a gang problem, so it was fairly common. Two still really stand out to me though.
The first involved two girls fighting over a boy who had been sent to juvy. I walked out of a classroom where I was observing, and one was already being held back by our seven foot tall social studies teacher. The other girl was ripping fistfuls of the other girl's hair out and screaming 'HE'S MY MAN. GET THE F-CK OUTTA MY HALL' ( other girl who had her hair ripped out was an eighth grader, and eighth graders were supposed to stay out of the seventh grade hall). The screaming one was a student of mine so I just walked in, asked her calmly to let go or be picked up, and picked her up to take her to the office while she screamed and clawed at me. At one point, she promised to calm down, and I fell for it. She immediately ran back and began fighting again, so I had to carry her to the office. Later, they asked if I wanted to press charges for the kicking and scratching. I literally laughed in the deputy's face. How vindictive are people that they have to ask if you want to ruin a 12 year old's life?
There was one even worse than that, though. I had one student who was a gang leader in my class, but he was always respectful with me and worked hard in class, so I just sort of chalked it up to rumors. One day near the end of the year, I turned around to write something on the board, and heard a girl scream. I turn around and the quiet respectful kid had ripped one of my loudmouths out of his seat and was kicking him with precision directly in the kidneys while bellowing. I was horrified. This kid was a weight lifter, and prying him off of the other kid who was curled up in the fetal position was nearly impossible. Once I did get him off, I screamed at the other kid to get the next door teacher. The kid from the gang escaped and chased the other kid around the school, throwing furniture at the instigator and screaming. It took me five minutes of chasing them through the halls while the other teacher watched my classroom to get admin or the deputy to help.
It was then that I decided not to teach middle school anymore.
I teach high school now and see my old seventh graders a lot, including fighters. One even apologized to me; most of them want me to teach them when they reach the grade I teach. I just really hope they have chilled out with time...
Impossible[rebelmouse-image 18360839 is_animated_gif=
Young, female high school teacher here.
Worst fight I refused to step in and break up: the two largest, toughest guys in our school got into it in the hallway right in front of my classroom. These were the kind of boys that were already pretty much grown men and each had around 100lbs of muscle on me. I heard yelling in the hallway and turned around just in time to witness one punch the other square in the teeth. He hit him so hard that I swear I could feel the vibrations in the air. Like, I FELT THE PUNCH it was so hard. And oh my god, the sound of it. They then started punching at each other as they rolled around the ground in a HUGE pile of blood that had come from the one's mouth after the first punch. I would have gotten hurt breaking it up. I internally said "f-ck that" and called the office to tell them to send out police resource officer and admins down there ASAP to break up the fight of the decade.
I had to stop watching talent shows years ago because while I got to see some really enjoyable acts—especially singers, of which there are a seemingly endless number—I grew sick and tired of how scripted everything felt.
For one thing, I hate overt sentimentalty because it can ring very false, and that's how I've felt whenever I've had to sit through any sob stories. Everyone has a sob story.
The music swells and immediately we'll hear about someone's cancer diagnosis or the fact they lost their house due to foreclosure or that their father died and that afterward they found bodies in his shed and learned he was a notorious serial killer...
Okay, that last one might have been made up. But my point stands.
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor TheCheeto4 asked the online community,
"What is something that you find incredibly cringe, but you think other people wouldn't?"
"You just reminded me..."
"You just reminded me of those Facebook posts that give instructions to prove who is/isn't a "real friend", always ask you to share afterwards. Like a copy-paste friendship test."
I never bother with those. I always ignore them and I'm okay with that.
"People exaggerating how quirky, different or relatable they are."
You just described every manic pixie dream girl in Bushwick.
"People singing at me. I have no idea what to do and feel cringe the entire time. Some people love just having people sing to them though."
Many people feel super awkward when this happens... especially when it happens in a restaurant... on their birthday.
"Starting a Go Fund Me..."
"Starting a Go Fund Me the second news of a tragedy gets out. There was an accident by me, and there were two competing GFMs fighting over who was closer to the victim."
They do that so they can skiff the funds. People have no shame.
"I couldn't fathom..."
"Public vlogs. I couldn't fathom walking around the city holding a camcorder on a stick and talking to myself."
I hate them and don't understand why people would watch some rando walking around, going about his day. No thank you.
"The judges crying on those talent shows on TV."
Sob stories always increase your chances of entering and lasting longer on those shows.
"I love that unspoken thing where talent show judges act all surprised that the ugly person actually has a great voice!"
The Susan Boyle effect (and she wasn't even all that great to begin with, but it's the perfect example).
"Dating profiles and bios. I just can’t not feel weird about advertising my self to randos."
Always awkward. Even worse when you meet someone interesting and they are nothing like their profile at all.
"Turning on music/singing loudly in public places. I always listen to music in my headphones."
I would never. It's the height of rudeness.
"If someone is going..."
"Filming yourself doing acts of kindness. If someone is going to do something nice for me, and they film me and post that online I’ll be pissed."
It's everywhere. Social media is a pain.
Remember the last time you cringed to some of these? You probably do. It's the worst, isn't it?
Have some cringeworthy moments of your own to share? Tell us more in the comments below!
Two people getting together for the first time and feeling the undeniable chemistry between them is an enchanting discovery.
Without anything being verbally communicated, a person feeling a mutual romantic passion is the spark that potentially can ignite a long-lasting relationship.
However, that spark can also burn out when passions are too high, and that gut feeling indicating a fling was over before it started is never a welcome feeling.
Curious to hear about the negative dating experiences of strangers, Redditor LynxExplorer asked:
"What made you realize the relationship was over?"
Sometimes, the inner voices of reason doesn't register, and outside indicators sound the alarm to let scorned lovers know that romance is dead.
A Third Party
"When I got a Facebook message from another dude saying 'your wife is cheating on us.' He thought we had one of those open relationships."
"Editing to add: this happened a little over ten years ago. I got custody of the kid, I’m remarried, great job, new house, I’m doing good. And I also laugh about it when I think back on it."
"I once googled 'how do you know when a relationship is over' and the top suggestion was 'you google it.'"
"When I finally learned to listen to her actions, not her words."
These Redditors reflected back on their relationships only to realize the love in their relationships have disappeared some time ago.
"When contempt enters the picture. Hard to explain what contempt is, but once it's there it is done for."
"There's nothing like having someone you had an amazing time just have disgust for anything you do. Oh and the glare is deadly."
"Luckily by the time I got there I already made up my mind and stopped playing her victim blaming. We both had rough lives but you cut yourself to manipulate me."
Alone In Love
"when i was crying more than laughing. constant hurt and confusion, didn’t feel like the love was reciprocated."
Waiting For It To End
"I realized that I wouldn't care if he cheated on me and would've been quite happy if he left me for someone else. I felt trapped and didn't know how to leave at the time"
"Edit: We have a child together and share custody, so he will always be in my life, but it's still better than having to walk on eggshells in my own home."
"I'm very sorry to those of you going through this now. I hope you find happiness one day."
A Powerful Yearning
"When I started fantasizing about what it would be like to be completely alone."
These are just downright cruel and unforgiving discoveries.
Sliding Into DMs
"When I found sexts between her and my 'friend.'"
"He kept breaking up with me and then making up with me. Broke up with me on my birthday (because he wasn't getting my undivided attention as my best friend was there), called me for 6 months after trying to get back with me. Called me a 'f'king weasel.' His family still tries to reach out over 11 years later."
Whatever happened to communicating with your significant other when something is off in a relationship?
Sure, this is an uncomfortable conversation to have, but it's far more effective to discuss solutions or compromises.
Isn't it worse to let resentment build to the point where regrettable actions or words further destroy relationships?
Talk it out. You'll be a better person for it.
People have long engaged in passionate debates about their firm beliefs on any particular subject, the popular ones being religion and politics.
Those arguing on both sides of religious or political debates seldom see eye-to-eye with their opponents and are unable to find common ground.
But there are other arguments that are equally as passionate which people are not willing to negotiate, or at the very least, have some wiggle room for compromise.
Curious to hear some examples, Redditor lllSnowmanlll asked:
"What's your strongest opinion that's not political religious or moral?"
We are constantly inundated with marketing ads sneaking their way into our daily interactions on social media.
Enough is enough.
Audio Assualt In Ads
"Radio ads that have honking horns or sirens should be illegal. As should billboards."
Focus On The Product, Please
"If I buy a car, I want to own it without paying a subscription to use the radio or heated steering wheel."
"Ads with the skip button are more effective than ones without."
"If an ad has a skip button you can choose whenever you’re interested in said product or not. This provides more clear info to advertisers too."
"An unskippable ad makes a person associate the company with a negative experience, therefore downgrading the company."
When it comes to our well-being, these Redditors believe the following are of utmost importance.
Ready For The Weekend
"Weekends are sacred and you can pry my free saturday out of my cold dead hands. And even then good luck because i will have hot-glued it to my hands."
"Jokes aside, self care and de-stressing are important. Take care of yourself people!"
"Edit: for everyone saying this comment is indeed political/religious: i'm just saying that having some time off to recharge or take care of personal stuff is important. It does not matter when or how that time off is, as long as you have some. I just want people to be healthy."
It's Time To Let Go
"My boss asked me to come in on Saturday next month. Every Saturday. All month."
"In response, I took off all the Fridays. Due to corporate policy, he can’t deny it. At the end of the month, I’ll be quitting. This is the fifth time in less than a year he’s tried to get me to do regular overtime, and I’ve had enough. If he wants someone working on Saturday, he can do it himself."
"EDIT: I’m getting tired of all the people saying I should have 'just said no,' so let me explain why I didn’t."
"I’ve been at this company two years, and I’ve been 'just saying no' since day one. I was literally asked to stay late on my first day. For a while I did it because COVID had just started and I didn’t want to lose my job. I was very lucky to have a job at all and I knew it."
"But the demands for more overtime, more work, more responsibilities, it all kept growing. Soon, I was working 10 or 11 hours a day Mon-Sat and another 3 or 4 hours most Sundays. I was doing the work of three people and barely making enough money to live. Keep in mind I didn’t get paid for most of this overtime, maybe half of it. No OT bonus to speak of."
"Finally, after eight months of this, I put my foot down. I went back to 40 hour weeks, no overtime unless it’s payed and I choose to do it. My superiors weren’t happy, but replacing me wasn’t easy and they knew it, so they had to deal with it."
"Lately they’ve started pushing me to do more overtime again, but they still refuse to pay me for it. So, I’m done. I’m already planning on moving, but my plans to transfer to a different location are now out the window. I’m way past my limit with this company, they’re lucky I’m still here at all. So no, I won’t 'just say no.' I’ve been saying it for months and they don’t listen.
"Swimming should be taught to every child."
The following opinions are about our interactions with the public.
"If you take a sh*t at public toilets, FLUSH!!!"
The Stigma Of Naiveté
"People should learn that saying 'I don't know' is a perfectly acceptable thing to say, and very often the most accurate."
"Rerack your weights, you meaningless excuse for intelligent life!"
"Drivers who don't indicate when turning are selfish scum."
When using the elevator or public transportation, please let the passengers off before batter-ramming your way in, please.
The doors will eventually shut automatically but will not crush you if are entering the departed cabin at the last minute.
There's no rush.
That's the thing with people. Everyone's in a hurry to get from point A to B but cutting people off on the freeway or jamming your way into an emptying elevator will not get you places any faster.
Not only is it annoying, it's also dangerous.
And I'm done with my PSA. Thank you, kindly.
Some of these modern medicines can really pack a wallop.
Remember that Taylor Swift video her mom took of her?
That was too good.
Patients teeter between a laugh riot and a hideous, dramatic mess.
Either way, it's pretty entertaining.
Redditor DvS_Insanity wanted to hear about what we all mumble when under the influence before surgery.They asked:
"Anesthesiologists of Reddit, what was something you won’t forget hearing from someone that was under?"
I haven't really been under so deep I expressed these kinds of thoughts. I'm ok with skipping surgery, actually.
FingeredKung Fu Wtf GIF by A24Giphy
"I ask a patient after surgery how he feels. He opens his eyes, stares me dead-on and says 'with my fingers.' Then he goes right back to sleep."
'hand... hand please'
"I had an ovarian cyst removed a year ago and woke up from the anesthesia saying 'hand... hand please.' and making 'grabby hands' with both my hands until the nurses finally came over and held my hands for about five minutes while I just smiled and tried to go back to sleep. I hadn't done that in a decade. I used to do it to my dad all the time as a kid to express that I wanted to hold his hand while I slept."
'Ooo ithh a robot'
"My boyfriend at the time had just gotten his wisdom teeth removed, on the ride home with his mouth full of gauze, he gets a call on his cell phone. He answered it and just starts talking away, whoever it was on the other side could not possibly understand a word he was saying with all the gauze in his mouth. But man, he had a lot to talk about and they apparently didn't hang up..."
"After about 5 minutes of this unintelligible phone conversation, he looks at me and says 'Ooo ithh a robot' and gives me the phone. I put it to my ear, and the whole time it's been the Walgreens pharmacy automated notice simply stating his prescription is ready for pickup, playing on repeat. Probably for the best."
"I’m an anesthesiologist. The best story was a 40-some year old woman for appendectomy, said while I’m giving the propofol to induce anesthesia. She said 'oh I don’t remember it tasting like that before' (slurred). I said 'what does it taste like?' Since propofol doesn’t usually elicit a taste reaction. She almost yelled 'DEEEZ NUTS,' and was promptly under anesthesia thereafter. There have been other stories, but this one has the entire OR staff rolling laughing for minutes after she was under."
“AHHHH”Oh My Love GIF by WWEGiphy
"After an operation on a patient's neck, he woke up and yelled 'AHHHH' then grabbed his junk with both hands and was like 'oh thank God it’s still there' then immediately passed out again."
People are funny with no censor. And dialogue dangerous...
"My personal story. When I had my wisdom teeth out, I kept holding a fake camera up to my face saying 'you're beautiful' and making clicking noises while I was under. I'm a professional photographer and my dental surgeon ended up booking a session with me a year later."
"I woke up from gallbladder surgery confused as to why my mom wasn’t there (I was 18 and looking for my mom). The nurse informed me I had cussed out my entire family and they sent them home and put me on a no visitor list, only for me to wakeup at 2am with no memory making them call my mom back. Another time I woke up and made horrifically inappropriate jokes."
"I told a nurse she was pissing me off because I didn’t like the automatic blood pressure cuff. Another I refused to listen to followup orders until I had a chicken sandwich (my negotiations were not met). I’m a real treat after anesthesia but I get a lot of this done at the office my mom works at so she can warn them lol."
'That's my wife for ya'
"My aunt got rushed to the hospital for abnormal heart rate - but it wasn't a heart attack or stroke, but her heart was going at like 200 beats per minute or whatever it was. They had to put her under so they could shock her heart back to normal. As they're taking her under, the doctor says something like 'Okay, in it goes' and she immediately quips with 'That's what she said.' All the doctors and nurses busted a gut laughing and told my uncle when he got there. He just shrugged and said 'That's my wife for ya.'"
"One summer I was home from college and my dad needed me to pick him up after his very first colonoscopy. He was nervous so I got there early. The nurse called me back and asked me to help wake him up, as they were having some trouble. I go back and am making chit chat. 'Oh dad, you’ve got those cool booties on!' He raised his head a little bit to look at them then yelled, 'Booty call!' He is a Presbyterian pastor. A moment I will treasure forever."
HugsKat Graham Netflix GIF by GIF RegistryGiphy
"Apparently, when I had surgery to remove my Bartholin’s gland (a gland at the entrance of the vagina that can get an abscess), they asked me how I felt as soon as I was awake. I said I felt like I got attacked by an elephant and then I wanted to hug everyone."
Oh, the things we'll say when under the influence.
Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.