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Life's Most Confusing Biological Mysteries Explained So Anyone Can Understand

1. frozenncyborg asked: Why are adults woken up automatically when they need to pee, while young children pee the bed?

It's both learned and related to development.

All mammals have the instinct not to "soil the nest". We mostly train our babies out of this instinct by putting them in diapers and being totally oblivious to their signals that they want to pee, but it's possible to keep it going - there is a thing called Elimination Communication which is one of those "parenting movements" with an awful name but effectively, it's a googleable phrase which means you can find information about how to watch your infant for signs they are about to pee or poop and "catch" it in a little pot instead of using a diaper. This is also common practice in some non-Western cultures. Of course, if you want to do it at night you have to sleep in very close proximity to the infant. But doing this even very young babies will wake at night to pee and then go back to sleep.

So partly we train them out of it and then have to train them back into it again when we potty train. What happens when potty training is that toddlers are learning to associate the feelings of a full bladder/bowel with the imminent arrival of pee, and control the muscles around the urethra to hold it long enough to get to a toilet first. Children sleep much more deeply than adults - they tend to sleep through noise, for example, much more easily - and it's common that for some time during and after potty training they are either not aware enough of the nerve endings around the bladder to pay attention to them even during sleep or they are just too deeply asleep to notice these sensations. Once they become more accustomed to paying attention to these signals, they'll be more likely to wake up, assuming they are not too deeply asleep.

Secondly, the hormone part somebody mentioned below is also true but it's not strictly related to why we wake up, more the amount of pee created. The adult body produces a hormone called ADH (antidiuretic hormone) during sleep which tells the body to produce less urine during this time, meaning that adults rarely produce enough urine at night to get into a desperate enough state to wake us up. When we do, it's likely unusual enough that this is a significant factor as well. For children who haven't started producing this hormone yet (the exact age varies, but girls tend to develop it a couple of years earlier than boys, which is why boys are more likely to suffer from bedwetting for longer), the feeling of having a full bladder at night wouldn't necessarily be unusual meaning it's less likely to wake the child up.

Lastly there is the simple fact that adults tend not to be afraid of the dark and additionally are much more aware of where their limit for actually peeing themselves is, whereas children might delay getting out of bed because they are cold, scared, or just sleepy and they don't have as good of a handle on that tipping point yet because they don't have as much experience. (This is the same reasoning for why young children sometimes hold on so long that they just pee themselves because they were too busy playing or didn't know that they didn't have enough time to get to the toilet, whereas this rarely happens to adults without incontinence issues.) But again, this isn't strictly the same situation since you mentioned waking.

Submitted by caffeine_lights

2. BenRayfield asked: How did ancient people figure out that sex leads to kids, since the effects are so delayed?

They observed animals. They noted that women who did not have sex did not get pregnant. Some Neolithic art can be interpreted as actually showing Some Neolithic art can be interpreted as actually showing that they were aware of the relationship. But we can never know for sure.

Submitted by Rhynchelma


More interesting biological mysteries on the next page!

3. Polish_William asked: How come when you're sick you can blow your nose and they'll be completely empty and 5 minutes later they're full and dripping. How does mucus generate so quickly and where is it even made?

The mucus comes directly from the surface of your nose, called a mucous membrane because it produces mucus to protect itself and as lubrication. This mucus is a combination of long, stringy proteins and water, which allows it to stick to most surfaces.

We produce a ton of it while we have upper respiratory tract infections like the common cold because our immune systems are trying to isolate the virus causing the infection and prevent more from getting in. This measure isn't actually that effective, as it only slows down viruses and bacteria can swim right through it, but we do it anyway. Allergies do the same thing because they are an attempt by the immune system to attack something that isn't actually a disease, like pollen. We are less clear on why allergies happen, but some hypothesize that they occur due to infants and children living in environments that are far too clean. Their immune systems don't have anything to fight, so they start fighting random things instead.

Submitted by Frommerman

4. Hrothgarex asked: If you did a ton of sprints, going farther and building endurance, could you eventually full sprint a mile? Is there a limit we can push ourselves?

Professional sprinters can only hold their top speed for about 10 strides. Usain Bolt achieved and maintained his top speed for 8 strides during his 9.58s record 100m run.

Slow twitch muscles, where endurance is built in, are required even for 100m. The opposite is true for fast twitch muscles, one needs a speed to run a marathon. There is no clear physical boundary between a sprint and endurance runs. The difference between a sprint and endurance runs is in contribution of each muscle type. Sprint events "end" at 400m, and endurance events "begin" at 1500m, 800m is a like a 50-50 combo of the two, meaning 50% of work(=power*time) comes from each muscle type.

You can try to "sprint" a mile mentally, like go a full force from the start and try to hold for as long as possible. But physically it would be something like 95% of power by the fast muscles and 5% of power by the slow muscles from the start. Then the ratio changes as the run progresses, and in the end your power ratio is something like 20% and 80%. I'm making these numbers up, but you get the point.

Such attempted "sprint" would be extremely exhausting and maybe dangerous. I don't think even animals running for their lives from a predator can pull this off. They still tactically pace themselves and conserve strength even when a certain death is right behind them.

Submitted by iiRunner


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5. pmmecoolpianopics asked: What causes some people to be more "addiction prone" than others?

There are several factors at play, and it seems to vary from individual to individual. The problem of addiction and alcoholism has been around for millennia, and we still don't have something we can point to, and say, "There it is. There's the problem, right there."

Genetics seem to have an influence. It can cause a tendency to be prone to addiction, but is not the causative factor. There are studies of identical twins, where one is addicted, and the other, not. There are also "black sheep" that come from a long and wide genetic history of normal intoxicant use, but these "black sheep" become addicts.

Dr. Gabor Mate, in his book "In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts" postulates that it is a combination of a genetic predisposition to addiction, triggered by environmental conditions, which may include trauma, such as sexual molestation as a child.

As time continues, and the consumption of intoxicants continues, it messes with the normal distribution of certain neurotransmitters, such as serotonin and dopamine. It is speculated that genetic vulnerabilities make this rewiring of the brain easier, and this is why some people are more prone to addiction.

As the addiction takes hold over time, its effects begin to manifest in the environment of the addict. They spend time with other addicts, and tend to damage their relationships with the non-addicted. If you become drunk and aggressive, you don't get invited to too many parties...unless everyone else at the party tends to get drunk, too.

At this point, the genetic tendency has been fully triggered, and the environment becomes one that fosters the consumption of intoxicants. The brain has become rewired so that pleasure by normal means is elusive, but can be had in an instant with another helping of the drug of choice.

Now the spectre of withdrawal sets in....and to break the cycle requires a complete overhaul of one's life, as well as suffering the physical symptoms of withdrawal. At this point the addict feels trapped, hopeless, and alone. Feelings of shame, remorse and self-loathing are common...and again, the only escape from them is another dose.

But there is some hope. It has been proven that participating in a community of recovery is beneficial to many addicts...indeed, most recovered addicts claim that the loss of a sense of isolation, the feeling of belonging to a fellowship, and the advice and support of other recovering addicts was instrumental in their recovery.

I am an alcoholic in recovery. My brain is wired in such a manner that the consumption of the smallest amount of alcohol creates a powerful, and virtually irresistible, craving for more. I can't open a bottle of rum, have 2 drinks, and put the bottle on the shelf. I just can't. I will drink until that bottle is empty.

Through my work in AA I have learned better patterns of behaviour. If I am feeling unsettled...lonely, stressed, anxious...I no longer reach for a glass, or a joint, or a line, or a pill to make me feel better. I have slowly brought the wiring in my brain to a more normal state.

But I don't fool myself. The changes made to my brain are permanent, and if I have one drink, I risk falling back into state of addiction. This is why so many people fall "off the wagon". They believe that a period of sobriety has provided a measure of control, and that they now possess the ability to moderate their consumption. In my personal experience, i have never met an addict or alcoholic that could PERMANENTLY moderate. Some manage to, for a time, but gradually slip back into a state where the neurotransmitters are only experienced with intoxication.

So, I guess the short answer to your question is, "Nobody knows. It's different for each addict." Personally, I find my life without intoxicants to be vastly more rewarding, and I am much happier.

And maybe that's the root of it. People take drugs because they are unhappy, and want to change the way they feel. The genetically predisposed quickly find themselves in a position where the brain has rewired itself to the point where happiness is difficult to achieve without the drugs.

Submitted by PJMurphy

6. PM_UR_PICS_asked: Why is cannibalism detrimental to the body? What makes eating your own species's meat different than eating other species's?

Your own species meat is infected with diseases that can also infect you, by definition. (Conversely with other animals, some but not all diseases can be spread by under-cooked meat.) There are also some degenerative diseases that are spread by mis-shaped proteins, which you can generally only get by eating a human brain.

Submitted by simpleclear


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7. Elocmada asked: Why does adrenaline in certain circumstances give people super human strength? (Being able to lift extremely heavy things off of people, etc.)

First its important to note that so called feats of "hysterical strength" are not scientifically recognized, although they are well documented. They clearly happen, but science has a hard time testing them, because its obviously very hard to reproduce in a lab.

However, they have given small tests, like testing grip strength, and then electrically stimulated the muscles and tested again, and found that people exhibit about 25% more strength under electroshock, which definitely verifies people are in general stronger than they're normally able to access. Additionally, you may have heard of people being flung across an entire room after being electrocuted. This isn't because of the electricity - electricity doesn't move things like that - its because the shock caused massive muscle contraction, and the people flung themselves across the room, jumping far further than they would have believed possible under normal circumstances.

So, because they can't test hysterical strength, we can only hypothesize why adrenaline causes it. More than likely it is because your muscles are under several inhibitory systems, including pain as well as the neurological restriction of simply having not enough signalling at any given time to activate all the muscle fibres in a group. Strength isn't just about raw strength, its about timing; you need one perfectly timed electrical burst to signal all fibres to work in concert when exerting force. The more fibres activated simultaneously, the more strength you'll have.

Adrenaline most likely acts to remove several different limiter systems. Your pain sensation is dulled or removed entirely, your blood vessels are dilated and your muscles are more heavily oxygenated, and your neural activity increases; more brain activity = increased signalling, which means you're better able to activate more muscle fibres at once.

The reason we can't do this all the time is fairly obvious - it puts much more strain on the body and consumes far more energy. Since our bodies evolved in times of scarcity, our bodies evolved a logical mechanism for limiting the bodies ability to use its full strength and energy; only when the brain sensed certain stimuli (a tiger, a child in trouble), would it release its natural chemicals that overrode its own internal limiters, allowing for a brief state of higher muscle performance.

Answered by ninemiletree

8. Consinneration asked: Why is it that when you get hit (I.e. bang your head on a corner) you instinctively apply pressure with your hands? Why does that seem to help?

Your body can only process so much sensation at once. By touching the place that you've hurt, you're basically distracting your brain from the sensation of pain by introducing pressure.

It's another reason why ice packs can help with pain - not only do they reduce swelling, they introduce the cold sensation and give your brain something else to think about other than the pain.

Edit: what I've described above is apparently known as Gate Control Theory. I didn't know this, all I've done is transcribed the explanation that I was given when I was little, because my dad is a very knowledgeable man and I used to ask a lot of questions!

I think it's worth noting some of the other theories given below that may have been buried: you instinctively check the damage to see if you are bleeding or missing anything; you place pressure on the area to stem the bleeding.

I'd imagine it's a combination of the three, and probably more! Thanks for your input everyone. I've learned a lot today.

Submitted by BindweedHawkmoth


Continue reading answers to your burning biological questions on the next page!

9. MaxwellVador asked: Where does our head voice come from if it doesn't sound like our actual voice?

The psychological theory of bicameralism [a hypothesis in psychology that argues that the human mind once assumed a state in which cognitive functions were divided between one part of the brain which appears to be "speaking", and a second part which listens and obeysa bicameral mind] is controversial, but interesting nonetheless.

It basically states that humans developed consciousness with an intermediary step -- bicameralism. This involved two parts of the brain communicating, one is talking to the other and telling it what to do. The author states that this is where the concept of "god" came from, as early humans were literally hearing another voice giving them commands. Over time this evolved into true consciousness with an internal dialogue.

Some of these themes are being addressed (via artificially-intelligent androids) in HBO's new series Westworld.

Answered by TheLorenzo

  • 10. AmericanPixel asked: Why do men appear to have a "stitch line" or "scar line" at the base of their ballsac?

    Saying it "started out as a vagina" is an overstatement, but it's grounded in truth.

    When we're forming in the womb, we start with a shallow slit between our legs. For women, that slit deepens while in men it stitches together.

    The left side is grown, the right side is grown, and then they fuse together. Later, the testes descend into them.

    Calling it a vagina at that stage in development isn't really accurate; a vagina is more than just a gap in skin, it's a structurally complex organ with a dozen different unique cells and its own intricate biology. The prenatal gap superficially, however, is closer in appearance to a vulva than to testicles, hence the common narrative that we all start as women.

    Submitted by ManualNarwhal & Notmiefault


    More biological mysteries on the next page!

    11. LebumGermsJr asked: Why does a hangover get worse as we age?

    Alcohol is metabolized by liver enzymes and first broken down into acetaldehyde - which is our hangover culprit. After that, it is broken down by an enzyme into acetate which eventually turns into carbon dioxide and water. All are then washed out along with sins from the night before...

    The number of enzymes used in this two step metabolism process slowly dwindles as we age, making us less and less efficient at processing the toxins. This means that the asshole acetaldehyde hangs around longer in our aged bodies that it did before, making us feel like we're slowly dying.

    Submitted by marriedtodata

    12. MisterE_MD asked: Why do animals (including humans), in general, become less playful as they grow older?

    Play is all about exercise and learning. Part of it is simply about increasing strength and coordination. A lot of it is about learning valuable physical skills like stalking, fighting, chasing, catching etc. And a lot of it is about learning non physical skills. For instance a lot of young animals (including humans) do mischief because it teaches them about social boundaries.

    Young animals go too far in their play because they only learn about social boundaries when an adult puts them in their place. Along the same lines, they learn about appropriate consequences by watching adults interact with other adults.

    And finally play teaches young animals about their personal limitations. Theyll teach it to climb fearlessly because it knows what it can and cant do. Itll know how fast it can run, how far it can jump and so on. Itll help them learn that their abilities increase as they grow because they run faster and jump farther than they could last week during the same game.

    Play tends to be unique to animals whose abilities change and grow with them. You wont see much play among insects, arachnids and most reptiles for instance. Theyre born fully capable (even though practice and learning can improve their capabilities).

    Submitted by TheSecretMe

    People Break Down The Biggest Bombshells Their Therapist Ever Dropped On Them

    Reddit user anonymiss0018 asked: 'What is a little bombshell your therapist dropped in one of your sessions that completely changed your outlook?'

    Therapist talking during session
    Photo by Mark Williams on Unsplash

    Some people stand firmly stand behind their beliefs that everyone would benefit from therapy and that therapy is life-changing.

    It's because of the totally life-changing truth bombs their therapist had dropped during their sessions.

    Curious, Redditor anonymiss0018 asked:

    "What is a little bombshell your therapist dropped in one of your sessions that completely changed your outlook?"

    Communication Issues

    "'If you don’t have these problems with any other person in your life, why do you think you’re the problematic person in this one?'"

    - maggiebear

    "I love this. I have a 'friend' who I always seem to run into misunderstandings with. Every time we had a conversation, it somehow turned into a debate even if it was me talking about my day. The conversations were never easy."

    "I always evaluate myself first and take into consideration his critiques. He was very good at convincing me that I was contradicting myself or wasn't good at communicating my thoughts."

    "I NEVER had this issue with ANYONE else in my life. I kept trying to figure out where the miscommunication was coming from. In the end, I just minimized contact and now I don't run into this issue."

    - chobani_yo

    "I read this quote somewhere once (and probably have it a bit wrong): 'It's a waste of time arguing with someone who is determined to misunderstand you.'"

    - Reddit

    Emotional Regulation

    "'You can’t control your emotions, but you can control what you do with them.'"

    "At the time, I was a young adult who had learned zero healthy emotional regulation skills (only suppression and shaming) growing up, so this blew my mind."

    - lil_mermaid

    Tough Relationships

    "'It sounds to me like you are trying to convince yourself to stay with your girlfriend. I'm not so sure it should be so difficult.'"

    "At the time he said this, I remember it was like he said, 'The earth is flat.' I thought he was crazy when he suggested relationships don't need to be difficult. But eventually, I started to realize I was trying to change myself to stay with this person rather than just being who I am."

    "It took me three more months to finally break up with her but from that day on, I vowed to never again abandon myself just to be with someone I had convinced myself was better than me."

    - metric88

    High-Stress Situation

    "I was at a high-stress time, and I asked her how people live like this."

    "She replied, 'Oftentimes they have cardiac events.' She said it as an urging to care for myself as much as possible."

    - KittenGr8r

    The End of Alcohol

    "I was struggling with my alcoholism, and we were discussing how I had been cutting back."

    "She asked what I would consider success, with regard to my drinking."

    "I said I wanted to get to a point where it wasn't interfering with my daily life. I wanted to just be able to have a glass of wine at holiday dinners or family gatherings."

    "She simply asked me why. Why was it important for me to drink at those times?"

    "It was as if she'd turned on a light. Alcohol had always been a key ingredient in every family function, for my entire life. When I smell bourbon, I think of my uncle. When I smell vermouth, I think of my dad. Alcohol ran through almost every happy childhood memory."

    "But, even more than that, I was very afraid of the explanation I'd have to give when family and friends asked why I wasn't having a drink. I had tried to quit before but failed. What if I admitted my problem, only to fall off the wagon?"

    "When she asked why I didn't want to completely quit, it was the first time I saw that last part of the big picture. I'd be willing to drink myself to death in order to avoid being scrutinized, or judged for possible future failures."

    "That was the day I quit. I've been sober since May 6th, 2017. 2,407 days."

    - sophies_wish

    Acceptance vs. Enjoyment

    "'Accepting something doesn’t mean you have to like it.'"

    "That took away a lot of my inner conflicts about situations because I could accept a situation without expending energy internally fighting against the injustice of it."

    - alibelloc

    Emotionally Immature Parents

    "You are not responsible for your parents' emotional wellbeing. They are independent adults who have been on this earth for many more years than you."

    - SmokedPears

    Not So Lazy

    "'Why do you think you're lazy?' Then she listed off all the things she knows I'm doing for my family, my job, and my life."

    "It kind of blew my mind when I struggled to come up with an example."

    "She also described family dysfunction as water. Some families are messed up in a way that everyone can see the huge waves across the surface. Others are better at hiding it, but there's still a riptide that you can't see unless you're also in the water."

    "It made me realize that trying to keep the surface from ever rippling doesn't erase what is happening underneath."

    - flybyknight665

    The Harm in People-Pleasing

    "'Why do you make people more comfortable when you are uncomfortable?' when talking about people pleasing and fawning."

    - ERsandwich

    Agree to Disagree

    "'Stop trying to get everyone to agree. When you need everyone to agree, the least agreeable person has all the power.'"

    This really changed my outlook on planning family events."

    - freef

    Grieve and Start Anew

    "For context, I had a major TBI (traumatic brain injury), seizures, strokes, and all around not a fun brain time when I was 28."

    "They said, 'You have to grieve the loss of yourself.'"

    "Most people wanted me to go back to how I was. The f**ked up truth is that part of my brain is dead. The person everyone (including myself) knew died. I needed to grieve the loss of myself."

    - squeaktoy_la

    Multifaceted Identity

    "They told me that my job and career is just a way to make money; it's not my life or identity. That took a lot of pressure off me."

    - unfairpegasus

    Breaking the Cycle

    "They validated me."

    "'You always talk about not wanting to do to your daughters what your mom did to you. You worry about it so much in every interaction you have ever had with them."

    "But your children are 19 and 21 now. They are happy and healthy and they trust you because you’ve never abused them in any way. So I just want to validate for you that you really have broken that cycle of violence."

    "You did that. And you should be proud of it. I’m proud of you for it.'"

    - puppsmcgee74

    The Grieving Process

    "I was constantly bringing up how I felt like a completely different person after my mom died... like there was a marked difference between before and after her death."

    "But once, she was asking about my hobbies, I got really into describing all the things I loved to do or at least used to do before I got into a deep depression."

    "She was like, 'Wow, you seem very passionate.'"

    "And I just sat there like, 'Well, I mean, I can't change what I like to do, they're still fun to do.'"

    "And it's like she knew when to take a step back, because it was like, wow, I may be super depressed about my mom passing, but I'm still me. I'm still my passions and those don't go away."

    "I don't know, maybe it only makes sense to be, but it really started getting me back on track."

    - Hannibal680

    Sharing the Load

    "I've never really had friends. I've had colleagues and classmates and housemates and people who have hung out with me, but I never really felt close to any of them."

    "And I did that thing you see on here sometimes; I stopped reaching out to see if I would be reached out to, and I wasn't, which I took as confirmation that they didn't really want me around, or at the very least, that they wouldn't mind my absence."

    "I was talking to my therapist about people I'd been close to in college, and she told me to pick one and talk about him. So I did. After I shared some basic stuff like his name and his major etc., and a couple of anecdotes, she asked me what else I knew about him."

    "And I couldn't answer. It wasn't really a broadly applicable bombshell, but she said, 'What else?' and I started crying because I realized that for as simple as the question was, my inability to answer spoke volumes."

    "I've never had good friends because I've never been a good friend. I'm withdrawn and reserved and I always made others do the work to drag me out, without ever extending my own friendship in a meaningful way in return. If I wanted to have meaningful relationships with other people, I would have to build them."

    "I'm still working on this, but I'm trying to make more offers and extend more friendliness to others in my daily life."

    - Backupusername

    The discoveries in this thread were incredibly touching and profound; it's no wonder these were lasting concepts for these Redditors.

    It's important to keep ourselves open to inspiration and insights from others, as we have no idea how their experiences could help us, or how we could help them.

    Aerial view of a church in a small town
    Sander Weeteling/Unsplash

    There's something comforting about living in a small town.

    It's characterized by close communities where neighbors know each other by name and there is an abundance of kindness extended to others.

    Gift-giving is a commonality, as is the sharing of recipes, and people going out of their way to help each other in a time of need.

    The pace of living in small towns is also a striking contradiction to city life, where crowds of people go about their busy lives without much interaction.

    Curious to hear more examples of what small town living is like, Redditor official_biz asked:

    "What's the most 'small town' thing you've witnessed?"

    These are positive examples of a tight-knit community.

    Live Updates

    "We have a village Facebook page. Every time the ice cream man drives into the village, the entire page goes ballistic. People send live updates of where the van is and which direction he's heading. The ice cream man has started accepting DMs so he knows which streets to go down."

    – PyrrhuraMolinae

    Brush With The Law

    "I’m from a town of less than 2,000 people. When I worked at the grocery store there people would often drop off stuff for my family members because they didn’t want to drive all the way down to our house. I no longer live there but recently got a call from my daughter. She had been stopped for speeding and handed over her license and insurance which happens to be in my mother’s name. The officer goes 'Hey, you’re Donnie’s granddaughter! I ain’t gonna write you a ticket but I’m telling Donnie when I see him tomorrow cause we’re going fishing.' She replied 'I think I’d rather have the ticket.'”

    - Reddit

    Roadside Catchup

    "The traffic on the 'main street' of my town is so sparse, two drivers going opposite directions can stop and talk to each other for a few minutes without causing any problem."

    – anon

    When things go wrong, people take notice without incident.

    Bank Robbery

    "A guy robbed a bank and everyone knew immediately who he was and the teller got mad at him."

    – AlexRyang

    "A local bank was robbed and one of the tellers told the police to bring her a yearbook from about ten years earlier and she would be able to point the robber out. He had been in the grade before hers in school."

    – Strict_Condition_632

    Wise Woman

    "When I worked at the bank in town there was an older lady that had worked there through 5 mergers."

    "She knew everyone, there was a young guy yelling at me one day. She walked out of the back and he immediately quieted. She went off about telling his grandmother that he was treating young women like sh*t. She also said that if he didn’t straighten up not one girl in town would ever marry him she would make sure of it."

    – ilurvekittens

    Intoxicated Local

    "Town drunk was paralyzed and used a motorized wheelchair to get around. I was driving home one Saturday night and said town drunk was passed out in his wheelchair doing circles almost directly in the town square. Had to call his brother who came and picked him up on a rollback truck. Strapped him down and drove off into the cold dark night."

    – DoodooExplosion

    Grazing Over To The Bar

    "In my former small town, there was an older guy who'd lost his license after getting a few DUIs. Every day, he would ride his John Deere lawnmower to the corner bar around 3PM and sit around watching TV and sipping his beer well into the night. Then he'd head the couple miles back home on his mower. He even had a little canvass shell he put on when it rained or got too cold."

    – brown_pleated_slacks

    It's not surprising how small town people behave differently than those who are from metropolitan areas.

    Welcoming Committee

    "I lived in a small town. When I moved there, people would ask, 'Whose house did you buy?'"

    –MoonieNine

    "Move to a small town. 30 years later, you are still the new guy."

    – impiousdrifter

    "I lived in a small town for most of my childhood but I wasn't "from there" because my grandparents weren't from there."

    – raisinghellwithtrees

    "Worked with an older guy, relative of the owner of the business, he was 73. I asked him if he was a local, he said 'no his parents moved here when he was two.'"

    – realneil

    A Busy Day

    "Lived in a town of about 5,000: A woman walked into the DMV on a Friday, saw that there were 3 people ahead of her and left to come back another time when they weren't so busy."

    – KenmoreToast

    Who Let The Dogs Out?

    "My dogs got out while i was working. the police called my niece's elementary school (she was a 5th grader) to get her to round them up and take them back home."

    – mediocrelpn

    "There was a small kennel behind the police station for runaways. They called us saying they had our dog, and moments later our dog showed up home. He broke out of jail."

    – Worried_Place_917

    While life in a small town sounds appealing, I don't know if I can ever live in one.

    I'm so used to life in big cities, I think it would be quite unnerving to adjust in a neighborhood where everyone literally knows your business.

    I would be paranoid.

    And I'm sure the same could be said of life in the big city.

    Would you consider making the switch to life in a different setting?

    Two women laughing
    Photo by Dave George on Unsplash

    Every now and then, a friend of ours might say something, or we might overhear a complete stranger say something that makes us stop in our tracks.

    More often than not, what we can't believe we just heard is something so ridiculous, we can't help but put the person who said it in their place.

    Other times, however, what we just heard might have stunned us silent because of how shockingly clever it was.

    Resulting in our not wanting to scold or yell at someone, but rather give them a handshake.

    Redditor SubmergingOriginal was curious to hear the sharpest and wittiest things they've ever heard, from friends and strangers alike, leading them to ask:

    "Enough with the dumbest; what is the wittiest thing you've ever heard someone say?"

    Don't Give Me So Much Credit...

    'I was on a team at work that was on a project working insane overtime."

    "One night after an 80-90 hour week, we were all sitting around the table trying to finish up so we could go home."

    "Around 11, my buddy's wife called, dubious about the hours he'd been keeping."

    "We heard her through the line - 'are you cheating on me?'"

    "Exasperated, he looked at our boss, then replied 'honey, if I was cheating on you, I would have been home by now'."- lionbatcher

    Eternal Optimism...

    "Asked a blind guy if he'd been blind his whole life."

    "He said 'Not yet'."- Feeling_Mode_6465

    Free time Isn't The Only Thing He Has On His Hands...

    "My brother got a vasectomy and when the doctor was releasing him and giving him instructions (with the nurse listening in), one of the orders was to 'come back and have a follow-up appointment after you’ve ejaculated 30 times'.”

    "Without missing a beat my brother asked 'what time do you open tomorrow?'”

    "The nurse couldn’t keep it together after hearing that."- UtahUtopia

    Awkward Season 8 GIF by The Office Giphy

    Double Whammy!

    "My pal uses the phrase 'he doesn’t look strong enough to carry information' and it cracks me up every time."

    "Calling someone stupid and weak in one fell swoop."- JennyW93

    Can't Hide Your DNA...

    'Whenever I jokingly insult my mum, she says 'that must be where you get it from'."

    "She cracked the code."

    "I can never offend her without offending myself."- JennyW93

    Self-Sufficient!

    "My brother was a line cook at a New Orleans restaurant."

    "My mom was in town, staying at a fancy hotel, and he stopped by after work, still wearing his kitchen whites."

    "He was reading a newspaper in the lobby waiting for her to come down when the shocked lobby manager sputtered at him, 'MAY I HELP YOU!?!?'

    "He answered, 'thanks, but I know how to read',” and went back to his paper."- jobrody

    Morph Current Affairs GIF by Aardman Animations Giphy

    A Miracle!

    "My brother-in-law’s comment."

    "The entire family went out for my mother’s 80th birthday and after the meal we all went to a local park, largely occupied by the elderly, to rest."

    "My mother needed crutches at this point, and they were resting against her bench."

    "My 10-year-old niece, who looked like every starving waif image from Dickens, grabbed the crutches and started hobbling round the park."

    "All the OAPs were following her progress with looks of pity until my brother ran up behind her, and kicked away the crutches."

    "There was an audible gasp from round the park and then my niece picked the crutches back up and started chasing my brother, clearly intending to hit him."

    "In the confused silence my brother-in-law’s voice rang out 'Praise be! She can walk again!'"

    "We still think this was the highlight of the birthday celebrations."- DdraigGwyn

    Still Legal, Whichever Way You Cut It...

    "I picked up my pleasantly tipsy boyfriend from a nightclub."

    "We were stopped by the Police for a random breath test."

    "They asked me my age, and I said, 33."

    "My bf blurted out '33? You told me you were 22'."

    "Police just laughed and let me go."- Aggravating-Corgi379

    Music Video Police GIF by Andrew W. K. Giphy

    A Bit Too On The Nose?

    "Business law class in college years ago, talking about the issues that black Americans had before the Civil Rights."

    "Amendment, trying to travel through the south with the discrimination so rampant, trying to find restaurants to serve them and decent lodgings."

    "My instructor was posing a hypothetical: 'So you pull up out front of this place, you're exhausted from driving for hours, and you see the sign out front says 'Ku Klux Klan Motel'."

    "'What would you expect to find there?'"

    "Without missing a beat, from the back of the room came this gem: "'Extra sheets in every room?'"- NedsAtomicDB

    Not Yet, Anyway...

    "I was working with my friend and his dad."

    "My friend (26) heard an ice cream truck near where we were working."

    "He asked his dad if he could have a couple dollars."

    "His dad asked, 'what for?'"

    "My friend told his dad that there was an ice cream truck in the neighborhood, and that they were playing music."

    "My friends dad told him "'They don't charge anything to listen to the music'."- tatersalad1234567890

    Words Escape You In The Literal "Heat" Of The Moment...

    "A friend of mine is a teacher and her husband is known for his wit."

    "She told this story to him:"

    "One day at school a kid took the hall pass and returned reeking like smoke."

    "She asked the kid if he’d been smoking and he denied it over and over."

    "She was about to send him to the office when she noticed smoke coming from somewhere."

    "She told the kid and he realized that he didn’t put his cig out completely and it was burning in his pants pocket."

    "The kid noticed and frantically tried to put it out and someone finally poured water on it."

    "Her husband sat listening to this with a weird look on his face."

    "She asked him what was wrong."

    “'What’s wrong???'"

    "'This was probably the only chance you’ll have in your life to say literally, ‘liar,liar, pants on fire’ and you missed your chance'."- Luder714

    On Fire No GIF by PEEKASSO Giphy

    Amazing What You Might Say A Few Drinks In...

    "When I went to a renaissance faire once, I went to a beer tent and ordered a Newcastle Brown Ale (seemed the most fitting for the surroundings)."

    "The beer wench, without skipping a beat, said, 'Everyone wants a Newcastle - no one wants to remodel!'"- jayhof52

    Read The Room People!

    "My dad wiped out when skiing down a mountain and lost a ski."

    "After a few minutes of hunting for it, he gives up, slings the one remaining ski over a shoulder and starts walking down the mountain in his ski boots."

    "About half-way down, another skier stops and goes 'Gee! Did you lose a ski?'"

    "My dad instantly replied 'No, I was out for a walk and found one!'"- PeterJoAl

    There's a reason your mother always told you to "use your words".

    As clever remarks can have a much more lasting effect on people than a push or shove.


    When I was in high school, my friends and I went to a pizza place after school nearly every day. In addition to a slice of pizza, we would each buy a soda. The place offered free refills (this was back when not all places did this), and we thought it was really cool. However, I used to wonder why they would do this. Wouldn't it be more profitable to them if they forced us to buy a second drink?

    Four years later, I began working in a restaurant and learned that more often than not, the cups we gave out for soda cost more than the syrup that went in the drink. The restaurant offered us free food on days we worked, but we couldn't get drinks for free unless we brought our own cups.

    This was shocking to me and put free refills into a whole new perspective. We could sell the soda for more than it cost to make, but no one would buy a soda if we tried to sell it for more than the cup cost. It would cost us less to allow customers to refill the same cup for free than it would be to give or even sell them another cup because it would cost the business a lot to replace each cup.

    Soda cups aren't the only things that have a high mark up price, and they're not the only products people were surprised to find had a high mark up. Redditors know of lots of products that they were surprised to find out has a high mark up and are ready to share.

    It all started when Redditor petrastales asked:

    "What product unbeknownst to most people has the highest mark up?"

    ​Equality Doesn't Exist

    "Back in the early 2000’s I was managing a restaurant - garlic bread was selling for 3.95 and cost 0.07 to make. Not all food items are equal when it comes to margins!"

    – leyland_gaunt

    "I came here specifically to mention pizza. The profit margins on pizza are nuts, you have to suck at making it to not stay open."

    – DreadedChalupacabra

    "Yeah, it drives me nuts when you can request add-ons, but it's like $3 for a few pieces of camembert, or $2 for some chopped tomato, when it probably cost $5 for an entire 1kg bag of tomatoes."

    – Writerhowell

    How Cheesy

    "Yeah and like 1.50 of that pizza was the cheese."

    "Cheese is the most expensive part of a pizza assuming youre not doing some weird specialty stuff."

    – Doomstik

    "Can confirm. Worked at a pizza place. An incompetent employee was supposed to fluff a box of cheese but dropped it on the ground by accident. the owner was there. I swear I saw him shed a tear because that box was $120 of pure uncut shredded mozzarella and that was supposed to become like $1,000 in pizzas."

    – PM_Sexy_Catgirls_Meo

    That's Nuts!

    "Yeah I worked at a place that did charcuterie, I apologized to the chef for munching out on the fancy olives all night. He said he didn't give a damn, as long as it kept my hands off the roasted cashews. Big jar of olives was like 15 bucks, the equivalent of cashews was like 200 bucks."

    – hudson27

    Bamboozled

    "Reminds me of the never-ending pasta at Olive Garden. Pasta is dirt cheap and incredibly filling. The chances of you eating enough that it's actually a good deal for you is very slim."

    – IBJON

    "When I was working at a chain pizza restaurant, the storage manager wanted to get pasta on the menu, because of the profit margins. It's crazy because it cost us $2.10 to make a 17 inch pizza, and we sold them for $14."

    – fukreddit73264

    Not Worth It

    "Flavored seltzers at a brewery. The beer costs 10x as much to make, but they charge almost the same at the tap."

    – LocoCracka

    "I have a buddy who made seltzers at a brewery in the Bay Area. Some malt liquor, very little flavoring, and a ton of soda water."

    "Couldn’t make a cheaper adult beverage if you tried."

    – Ikarus_Zer0

    Ma, I Can't See!

    "Glasses."

    "Luxottica owns most major eye wear stores, costs them a few dollars to make and you pay hundreds for them."

    – godnrop

    "My cousin taught English in China after college in the early 2000s, apparently they had machines in malls where you could look into a pair of holes, do a vision test, get a prescription, and have a pair of glasses automatically ground for you in like 2 minutes for about $5, and the only reason we don't have that in the US is regulations."

    "I travel to China frequently for work. I just take the USA prescription for family and friends and they have them made in about an hour or less. Family and friends give me an idea of frames they like and they pop the prescription lenses in. I pay about USD40 for the top-grade lens material that is antifog and anti-scratch."

    i3f8j

    "I don’t really object to paying $50 for an eye exam, I object to paying $300 for a pair of frames. There’s no reason you shouldn’t be able to take the prescription the optometrist gives you, enter the numbers into the machine, and get the same $5 glasses."

    river4823

    ​Message Received

    "Back in the day, text messaging."

    – alien109

    "That's why I left T-Mobile in 2005. They were charging me for incoming texts but offered no way for me to block them. So basically, someone else had control of my bill."

    – CGYOMH

    "I remember being young, spending the $20 I worked so hard for so I could get minutes, only for a friend with unlimited minutes to spam me with a few texts and take it all away. What an upsetting time."

    – Boopcheese

    Ice Ice Baby

    "Soft drinks in pubs. Especially the ones from “the tap”. Costs pennies and they charge £3 for a pint of it. Probably the biggest earner in a pub."

    – lucky_1979

    "Especially when they just cram a glass with ice and then lightly moisten it with the actual drink you ordered."

    – jamesmowry

    "My work just came out with a policy that we need to completely fill the glass with ice because it "keeps the drink colder for longer".. eyeroll."

    – metalbridgebuilder

    "The nuts and bolts section at your local big box hardware store is the highest markup isle. 500% or more. If you need more than a few bolts, go shopping at a proper hardware supplier."

    – SatanLifeProTips

    "Whenever I go through one of these aisles and look at the price for a single bolt or screw, I look at the overall assortment and think: There must be tens of thousands of dollars just for the shelf-price of fasteners I see right here in this aisle alone."

    "The markup is crazy, but why do I want to buy a box of 100 screws if I only need two?"

    – lemming_follower

    Second To One

    "The second-cheapest bottle of wine on the menu."

    – slocki

    "In order to not look cheap, many people will buy the 2nd cheapest item on the menu."

    – AprilsMostAmazing

    "Wine in restaurants in general. The markup on wine is wild. My boss used to get whatever was “on sale” from the distributor and usually pay $3-4 a bottle and sell it at $10 a glass."

    – she_shoots

    Pour Some Sugar On Me

    "Candy floss / cotton candy. £4.99 for legitimately 10p worth of sugar."

    – Tylervdub

    "I used to work food service at an amusement park for a summer job."

    "A manager told us that the cost of making a bag of cotton candy, including ingredients, labor, etc., was 19 cents...we sold it for $3."

    – etm105

    Look, Don't Drive

    "Those button batteries in store."

    "They know you need one asap cause your car won’t unlock so you are stuck."

    "Wait 1 day and you can get a dozen from Amazon for same price."

    – kindrudekid

    Medical Supplies

    "As a Diabetic I'm pretty sure it's Insulin."

    – PraiseThePun81

    "Can’t believe I had to scroll so far to find this."

    "I spend over $13k annually on ‘good’ insurance that doesn’t cover half of the things I need as a diabetic. I spend half that again on the insulin and supplies. It’s a racket."

    – Nosce_Temet

    H2O

    "Water."

    – ganic-Lie4759

    "Bottled water is so highly marked up as to qualify as a scam."

    "At no extra cost aside from the bottle (I don’t have a water meter) my water is completely free. It tastes as good or better than bottled."

    – 6033624

    I didn't know about any of this!

    I can hear my wallet crying.