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Tattoo Artists Describe The Weirdest Things They've Ever Inked

Tattoo Artists Describe The Weirdest Things They've Ever Inked
Photo by Lucas Lenzi on Unsplash

Tattoo artists just can't catch a break. Quite a few of them don't like being wrapped into conversations about tattoos when they're off the clock either, because then they'll end up stuck discussing tattoo ideas they have no desire to follow through on, and some ideas are weirder than others. Now imagine actually going ahead with some of them...

After Redditor MacDaddy843 asked the online community, "Tattoo artists of Reddit, what is the cringiest/weird tattoo you have ever done?" the stories did not disappoint!


"Tha Hagerstown Crew"

My artist told a story. I forget the exact details, so I may have specifics wrong, but back in the day, he worked out of or near Hagerstown, MD. There was a gang (?) called "THC," for "Tha Hagerstown Crew," and weed, of course. Intimidating gang dude wanted "THC" in big letters on his belly, and bailed before the outline was even finished. Captain_Hampockets

Oh Cuz....

The cousin of a friend got his first name in big letters on his right arm and his last name on his other arm. The first time we got introduced he showed me his arms. BloodyMarys

My cousin had his last name, which doubled as his nickname tattooed on the back of his neck, then tried to rob a car.

The car was a secret police trap and there were cameras inside. They caught him because of his tattoo. The footage was used on a "dumbest criminals" show later. Susim-the-Housecat

Hey Flipper. 

When I just turned 18 my friends and I thought it would be a great idea to all get tramp stamps. I had always wanted to work with dolphins and loved them since I was little. When it was my turn I pointed at the wall and said that one. The guy looked at the wall paused and said "that cartoon dolphin? Really?" Needless to say I regret it to this day. JamnJ27

Flatline. 

Do not tattoo, but draw tattoos for artists to put the ink to skin.

The worst was a lady who had miscarried. And not only wanted the ultra sound picture with a little heartbeat indicator turning into a flatline. And something like "You're mother will always love you."

No matter how much I tried to correct her grammar, she would not listen. I turned it into the artist and he saw the pic, said "are you kidding me?!" then I brought his attention to the text. He went and spoke to her, and she said "Why can't you people just give me what I want?!" enterthedragynn

Sing Out....

I'm not a tattoo artist but I've got a cousin who got a speech bubble on his arm with The Voice written on it so that he could ask people if they preferred XFactor or The Voice and then when they asked him, he could just lift his sleeve up.

No clue why. Muffin0511

"No daddy don't!"

Not me but my mentor tattooed the words "No daddy don't!" on some guys hand. apparently the dude wanted to see that so he thought about his kids every time he reached for a drink. ovepeacetruth_inc

That's actually surprisingly wholesome. zh_13

Just. Why?! 

Not a tattoo artist but when I went to get my first tattoo, I was sat waiting for the tattooist to get the stencil ready so I was reading through some tattoo magazines and there was this one tattoo... It was a full on vagina with a tampon sticking out of it with blood leaking all over the place. Just.. Who the heck would get that. CakeyPop155

No butts about it....

I'm an apprentice atm and asked my mentor this question a while back. He wouldn't give specifics, but said he "doesn't do butt tattoos anymore..." I'm hoping that if I'm patient I'll get the story out of him eventually. Reddit

I could be wrong but he might have just been referring to someone not telling him that they had bowl of chili before getting tattooed there. Or maybe it did have to do with the subject matter. I don't know. USERdatHAPPENS2beGAY

The Gamut. 

Stormtrooper playing the cello on his thigh.

Mother Mary praying but her face was Uma Thurman ODing on heroin from Pulp Fiction.

Beautiful landscape scene with a couple sitting on a bench looking at the sunset, but the sunset was a table saw blade for some reason?

They all looked pretty great actually. melfqw

"heck yeah you do, come on in."

I get this question almost every day. you do so many tattoos that you get jaded. So eventually none are weird or cringy. everyone gets em for whatever reason they feel they need em. so, judgy shouldn't be part of the job. that being said. these fools coming in to get each other's names after only being together for a couple weeks is pretty bad. my shop is across from a bar. this one time, a few years back. a man and a woman come in and want shot glasses with each others names in them. say they met that night. decided to be spontaneous. i was like "heck yeah you do, come on in." never heard from them again after that. don't know if they killed each other? or spending quarantine in bliss? i_want_pics

THE WHOLE LIKENESS....

Used to be really good friends with a dude. And his wife was... nice enough but not nearly as cool. Very nasty, a little jealous, not very nice to him. My friendship with the dude was very cut and dry, very transparent, not something that could ever be reasonably suspected of being less than honest, etc. We'd just video game together.

Anyhow, they were married with a kid, and I went over to play DDR or some similar dance game with them on her invite. Apparently during this time, she got super jealous of me for... [reasons?] and wanted to know if I would let her use a zombie self portrait I had painted of myself as a tattoo.

I thought nothing of it and assumed she meant as a reference for something kind of different... etc, I said sure.

This girl got my WHOLE LIKENESS done as a FULL back. Before proceeding to divorce her husband some months later and abandoning their baby girl with him. EveyStuff

Down in Flames. 

What I find cringy in a tattoo is not the tattoo itself but the explanations that always go with it, like : "yeah you know, I decided to get this tattoo of a car with flames and a rifle surrounding it because my best friend had a car accident and I thought he could have died and once I shoot a gun and..." dude stop it! You like car, you got a tattoo with a car, period. You also like guns and think you look bad with it, go for it, but don't make cheap excuses. saoirse_eli

It's glorious.

NI'll never forget that image of the dude who got a R.I.P Brian Griffin tattoo, complete with Brian holding a martini. It's glorious. AlthricPasta

Oh god I'd forgotten about that. If I remember correctly, didn't dude get it after the show killed off Brian, but then they brought Brian back soon after so it was all for nothing?? Wild. lucemi3

A Looney Tale. 

Not a tattoo artist but when I was getting ink done the artist was describing what a client was asking for.

Super Mario with a fox tail and buttless leather chaps flying in a tornado created by Taz (from Looney Toons) being chased by Venom. Also, he wanted the Spider-Man, Dragonball, and Thundercats logos spinning around in the tornado. amalgaman

Not in High School. 

It was way back during my high school years. My friend decided to get a tattoo from his weed dealer (used to run a parlor). Next morning I met him for tea, he is sitting there like his cat died. I ask him what's wrong. He said nothing and started to unbutton few buttons. By then I started to speculate that that guy screwed up his tattoo. But it was magnificent- he wanted his dad's portrait on his chest. And the portrait was done just right; every little feature. Too bad it wasn't his dad's portrait. Whoryou96

The Broken Fix. 

Not a tattoo artist but one of my friend's mom got her husbands name tattooed on her left arm and after they divorced she tried to cover it up but some crap got messed up and now her left arm has a huge black blob.

Just found out she tried to get it fixed by turning it into a flower somehow, trust me it looks disgusting, she sure won't be wearing anything other than full sleeves now. Ar__ya

Basic Enough. 

I know a guy from the Marines that had his last name tattooed on his back in huge letters across his shoulder blades. It was spelled wrong. Think "Smyth" spelled "Smith." DaleLeatherwood

For the Gang. 

I have one on my left chest side that says "sunflower seeds for the gang" in Russian and I love it lol. MaximusClegan

Poetry. CAPTAIN_Jack-Sparrow

I wanted to throw up.

My dad's ex girlfriend got his name tattooed on her pelvic area, right above her vagina. My dad has never been good at relationships and she knew this. They had only been dating 3 months when she got this. I feel bad for the poor tattoo artist who had to do this tattoo. I know she had the tattoo done because she showed me and all of my friends when I was in college. I wanted to throw up. My dad always likes the crazy ones. He didn't dump her when she threatened to kill me. He finally dumped her when she almost got him thrown in jail for domestic violence... my dad has never hit anyone and scolded me when i stepped in as a kid. Ibelieveindinosaurs2

Cheezed...

I often wonder if I'll ever end up in one of these stories. I have a few odd ones here and there just because i want to. I think the one that takes the cake is my traditional cheeze it tattoo that says "my cheeze-it." I've yet to meet anybody who doesn't ask about it when they see it. Its for my fiancé. Also because i love cheeze its. threeDnasty

Too Soon....

Had a month-long boyfriend once who claimed I inspired him to get a tattoo. I had one or two small representative line drawings at that time. He got 'Mom + Dad -->Me' in small handwriting on his chest. stink3rbelle

Ok Norman. 

Not a tattoo artist, but I saw a little guy in a sleeveless t-shirt with a bicep band tattoo. It was in in big, block letters that read, "PHYSCO." Lalllo7

Plot twist: It's the name of his privately-owned gym. pumpkinbot

Art as Poop.... 

I once made an offer to my sister, that if she got a tattoo of a toilet with a banner across it that says "Poop, I would pay for it. No idea why it even occurred to me. It took like 5 years to make it happen, but I will never forget laying there, getting my sleeve worked on while she got her new "art", having to pause every so often because either me or my artist started laughing and couldn't hold still. It remains one of my greatest life achievements. beesipea

"Ghostface"

Well my brother had made his own ghetto tattoo gun out of some random junk, got really messed up on drugs and drew what he called his "Ghostface" tattoo... it was really just a bunch of scribbles and looked like what a toddler left with crayons for too long would come up with.

He eventually got it professionally covered up with a rose. Youpunyhumans

Liar! 

Obligatory not a tattoo artist but, went to an event at a prison and one of the inmates had "ALL WOMEN LIE" tattooed on his neck in really crappy handwriting. He then tried flirting with me which was awkward af. ayechihuahuas

What's a Bandicoot?

i met this guy at a party a couple years ago with a huge ass full color crash bandicoot tattoo on his ribs, and when i asked why he got it, his only answer was "because it's crash damn bandicoot." i'm pretty sure it was his only tattoo and he didn't really have any intention on getting more. barleyink

Find Jesus Friend. 

My Auntie on my Dad's side is. She owns her own Tattoo Parlour.

One day, this man comes into her shop. It's clear that's he's very drunk and very high. He starts talking to my Aunt about how Christians are ruining this world, shoving their religion down everyone's throats, all the priests are touching up the children, etc. Really REALLY strange. He then demands a tattoo of an upside-down crucifix and the words 'Burn The Christians!'

Well, my Auntie just so happens to come from a Roman Catholic family (My Grandmother and Grandfather were Roman Catholic) even though she wasn't Roman Catholic herself. This was seen as an insult by my Auntie as her parents are a denomination of Christianity.

She declines his request (keep in mind that my Auntie has never refused business before) and he gets super aggressive. He goes into a massive tirade about how he has the right to service, God-lovers are ruining everything, Jesus sucks, etc. My Aunt then has to call a male friend to help remove the guy from her store because he threatened to get violent.

She couldn't go through with that Tattoo, but I still thought this story was worth sharing. It was just a really weird situation. RonnieRants0708

Shame on You. 

I worked at a gas station I had a regular decked out in nazi and white supremacist tattoos. We're talking big swastikas on either side of his neck, and more. WombatInferno

Oh Pagie....

A buddy of mine got his newborn baby daughter's name (Paige) tattooed on his bicep and proudly posted a picture of it on Facebook. He had no idea until someone pointed it out that the tattoo artist had actually spelled it "Pagie." Giving him hell about it never got less funny. Tackle_Shaft

Risk Factor. 

My doctor once complimented a tattoo of mine. I replied, "yeah, I bet you see some interesting ones". She laughed and described a woman who had a large, green arrow pointing to her vagina saying "Enter at your own risk".... *shudder*. amybpdx

I mean, better than, "Abandon all hope, ye who enter here." OneMillionDandelions

I am Jesus. 

My tattoo artist told me that a previous client came in and asked for a tattoo on his back of the nativity scene with him as the baby Jesus. He was talked out of it by the rest of the artists there but my artist was annoyed as he really wanted to do it. freethefenian

"WALLACE"

I knew a guy who was obsessed with William Wallace, and insisted he was a part of his line. For starters, he's ethnically Jewish and his parents are immigrants from Eastern Europe (can't remember where), and secondly, William Wallace had no children, so that rules that out. It was harmless and he was a super sweet guy, so I felt no need to upset his applecart, you know? Then he showed up one day after being gone a couple weeks and asks if I'd like to see his new tattoo.

I say sure, and he opens his shirt to show me the word "WALLACE" in massive font, deep black lettering, covering the entire top of his chest. It was honestly impeccably done, and I made sure to tell him that and tell him how awesome it was. I really hope he gets to keep living in blissful ignorance of this particular part of history, haha. MamieJoJackson

Eating Ronald. 

When I went to get my ears pierced I asked the girl doing it this question as she was a tattoo artist also. She said she had a guy came in who wanted a Ronald McDonald head on an ice cream cone. Bunnystrawbery

I'm an Artist... no mess...

I was at a tattoo parlor, waiting for my appointment, inadvertently eavesdropping on a guy having his consultation with an artist. He wanted a little Viking ship filled with tiny people dressed in different national costumes on his shoulder, all to represent his diverse heritage. The artist didn't think it was going to work out, and was trying to gently talk the guy out of it. He said "No... no, I understand what you're asking for, dude, it's just that it's gonna be a total clustermess." I made eye contact with the artist and really had trouble holding it together. steel_jasminum

Life Hurts. 

My friend got his stillborn sister's birthday tattooed on his arm surrounded by clouds and doves and some swirly lines.

Nice tattoo and all but she was about 6 years older than him, he never met her and of course wasn't alive when it happened so no impact on his life at all, just now that families only son has probably the saddest date in their life written on him. YourWifeNdKids

College Wrongs. 

A girl in my college who loved anime got a symbol from Fairy Tail on a majority of her arm. It was one of the worst ink jobs I had seen, it was only black and blue but the line art and coloring was amazingly patchy. I don't know if her skin tone had something to do with it as she has freckles but it wasn't great despite being at the latest 2 years old. She recommended me the shop she went to and I now know to never step foot in there. Pitachipsarestale

Rotted Fruit. 

My friend has a tattoo of the peach emoji on her butt. It was not professionally done, it was done in her friend's basement, by a very inexperienced teenage girl. You can imagine how crappy it looks. iamcece

Be Better Kids. 

I'm not a tattoo artist or anything but some kids from my school thought coloring a spot on their arm the stabbing the spot with a needle a bunch would give them a tattoo. Now they have grey spots on their arms that look kinda like a bruise. NOOOOT-NOOOOT

Screwed. 

From a tribute to Michael Jackson's album Bad to upside-down owls, this gallery has it all.

One couple in here decided to get Minnie and Mickey Mouse and another couple really screwed themselves getting a screwdriver tattoo.

Another committed couple got Star Wars lightsabers with a bizarre background. pankajkumarpk

The Bucket Fun. 

This one always stuck with me. I read it some years back on another one of these "tattoo artist stories" on askreddit. So obviously, taken second hand.

An old lady (white hair, with a walker) came into a tattoo parlor and wanted this insane tattoo done. It was something like Santa Clause making love with a penguin. The artist didn't have the heart to outright refuse her service so he just said he was booked all week. This little old lady kept coming back, week after week. Finally after something like three or four weeks, the lady put it all out on the table. She was dying of cancer and getting a ridiculous tattoo was on her bucket list. She got her tattoo. chubbybunnybean

"I've written about this before..."

Back when I did tattoos, I had a guy who wanted "failure is not an option" on his stomach. I warn him that the stomach area doesn't feel all that great. He says he can handle it. Ok, whatever. So, I draw it up, get the stencil on him and start the tattoo. Immediately he's yelling, "holy s***! Stop!!!". So I stop. "Oh my god! S***! I didn't know it would hurt that much!" Well, I tried to warn you. He goes and has a cigarette, comes back, and has me start again. So I slowly get through the outline, the whole time he's swearing at me and he's having to take breaks every few letters because the pain is too much for him.

Finally it's time to fill in the letters. This guy just could not handle it. I got to "failure is" before he completely quit. So, I guess, failure WAS an option. Lol.

When I was an apprentice at a shop, we had a girl that came in who lost a bet at beer pong that had to get "don't call me in the morning ❤" tattooed on her @ss. Whatever. So the chick I was learning from draws it up and puts it on her. As she's tattooing the girl's butt, she asks her, "what if you meet a guy you like? He's not going to call you back!" And she said, "I just won't do him doggy style then." Lol. Ok.

michonneimpossible

"...but alas..."

HIV+ on the shaft of their penis, apprently they felt it would qualify as informed consent and avoid bringing it up in conversation... but alas women do not see with eyes inside their vaginas.

58NT

"I had to laugh..."

When I worked as a tattoo artist, a guy wanted us to tattoo his name on his infant baby, because as he put it, "she's trying to say that's not my son!" We threatened to call the cops because what the actual hell! We wouldn't tattoo anyone under the age of 18, even with parental consent, and we certainly wouldn't tattoo a baby!

I had to laugh when I saw the episode of Archer where he and the baby get tattoos, it was a grim reminder.

thebeastwhatsqueaksqueaks

"Several years ago..."

Several years ago I tattooed the words "Jeffrey Dahmer" in s****y scratchy writing on a girls neck for her 18th birthday. She had been coming into the shop a lot with her friends as they got tattooed and talking about it. She had the letters drawn up exactly as she wanted them and everything. The answer was always the same. "No f***ing way". When she finally turned 18 she came in with a few friends and asked again. I told her politely to f*** off with her shenanigans. A few minutes later her friend told her he could just tattoo it with the "gun" he got off eBay at home. I made the hard choice to do the tattoo to insure that it wouldn't get infected or be all scarred up if she ever decided to have it removed.

professorlowcash

"I referred him to another artist..."

I was apprenticing with my dad at his tattoo parlour and on this particular day I had nothing to do so I was just cleaning and answering calls, a fifty-something year old man came in wearing denim shorts and thongs (sandals) with a wifebeater on and the most magnificent mullet, he asked about finishing a tattoo he had gotten in Thailand, I asked him to show me and when he did I couldn't even comprehend what was happening with it...

It was a full back piece of a koala with one foot on the ground and the other on a fallen bottle of VB, holding a tattered Australian flag up in one hand and shooting an AK-47 into the distance with the Another, the koala also had the southern cross tattood on it chest. I referred him to another artist and after they spoke he left, I haven't seen him since. All in all a very weird encounter with the most bogan Aussie you could think of.

mitchellwatsonx

"My brother..."

My brother is a tattoo artist and refused to tattoo two small pot leaves above my other brothers thumbs. He later got it done by a 'friend'...they look terrible and he wishes he had never done it....he also got a ski mask tattooed behind his ear. My brother said yes to that one because of how bad the pot leaves turned out.

robin670

"I had a pair of dominatrix sisters..."

I had a pair of dominatrix sisters ask me to tattoo their live-in slave for his birthday as a surprise. It was their names in Chinese, at the base of his penis. They had specifically requested me as I fit into the fetish category of the slave, being an East Asian lady tattooer. I was to be paid triple for my time, but had one request- that I tattoo him at their studio, dressed as a dominatrix while he was tied up bondage-style.

When I got to their location, it was really sketchy as it was in a random warehouse in a bad part of town, but once I walked through the red door, it was very tastefully decorated with cages hanging from the ceiling along with the chandeliers. They had me dress up in their clothes as we were the same size, while the slave got ready in his gear, none the wiser.

When he was ready, after some sort of ceremony, they told him his birthday surprise. He was so excited as I had my station ready. They used to be nurses so they had the sterile equipment already, hence an easy set up. The ladies tied him up on a padded table, and stretched out the area to be tattoos. After the tattoo was done, they thanked me for my services, paid me triple along with a hefty tip, and I was on my way.

All in all, 10/10 would do it again.

Crazylove88

"One day, this guy comes in..."

I used to intern as a body piercer. My mentor was telling me some stories.

One day, this guy comes in and asks for his fiance's name in big letters surrounded by hearts on his neck. It was supposed to be a matching tattoo and his fiance would be getting hers after she left work.

So as the guy is talking about his fiance, he mentions her name. Everyone in the shop is dead silent. The fiance is the crazy chick my mentor was FWB with. They had such kinky sex, they had a legal document drafted that if something happens to the other during sex, the other person is not legally responsible for it. Theyre already half way through the tat. They have a small meeting of whether to finish it and tell him, or just tell him before he's in too deep with the tat.

They decide to tell him. My mentor takes him outside and is like "I'm sorry, dude. Your girl is meesing around on you" and shows him proof and their private (very sexual) messages. Guy is in tears, BUT GOES BACK INSIDE TO FINISH THE TAT.

He leaves and a few days latter calls the shop and yells at the owner to "let him know" that their body piercer is forcing women to use sex as payment for thier piercings. Owner says f*** off.

yeetaway

"This is not a thing..."

Tattoo artist here...while on a canoe trip with my friends we met a man who was enjoying the river on his kayak. We were all stopped at a small shore and the man commented on how many tattoos we all had, my friends all instinctively pointed to me and said: "She's a tattoo artist!" This is not a thing that I like people to know in my leisure time because I then get sucked into a lengthy conversation about the person's cousin's brother's aunt who watched Ink Masters once and wants a tattoo.....anyway, my friends knew this and did it anyway and the man started telling me that he wants his wife to get a tattoo.

The idea he began to tell me was nothing I would ever want to tattoo, or ever would, but it's the closest I've ever come to "the weirdest tattoo I've ever done." He described a butterfly, on her vagina? Pretty much he explained that when she her vagina looked would just like a butterfly when spread apart........that was the most awkward conversation of my life, and my friends enjoyed every second of it!

NThomp21

"He refused..."

My tattoo artist once shared this story of this girl who wanted a rose tattooed around her anus. He refused, naturally, and she whined for a bit before asking him to instead tattoo "Sweet Little Thing" across her lower back (tramp-stamp style). He again refused and kicked her out of the shop. In his words, he wasn't "going to deal with that level of crazy for that long."

murrimabutterfly

Infamous Internet Rumors That Ended Up Being True

Reddit user strakerak asked: 'What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?'

boy playing at laptop inside room
Photo by Ludovic Toinel on Unsplash

In 2017, I returned to my office after my lunch break to hear my supervisors discussing Tom Petty. This seemed like a random topic to me until one of my supervisors told me Tom Petty had passed away. He was a huge fan of Petty and spent the next hour or so combing through the internet to get more information.

He came back into the room my other supervisor and I were working in and announced that Tom Petty wasn't dead after all. News outlets had jumped the gun to announce his death, but he was actually still alive.

The next day, I came in to find out that Tom Petty was dead; the news may have been premature, but true.

This is a classic example of the rumor being started on the internet. Sometimes, like with the news of Tom Petty's death, the rumor can run wild and appear everywhere. Other times, the rumor can be seen by just a few people and dismissed. However, a lot of times, these rumors turn out to be true.

Redditors know a lot of internet rumors that turned out to be true, and are eager to share.

It all started when Redditor strakerak asked:

"What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?"

The King Of Pop

"Michael Jackson writing the music for Sonic 3."

"He actually did, but was never credited on the game because it would breach his contract with his record label."

– -WigglyLine-

"He did the same when he appeared on The Simpsons. He appeared under a pseudonym, and the Producers said it was an impersonator."

"Only years later they confirmed it really was Michael."

"His singing voice was actually done by an impersonator, though."

– given2fly_

The Truth Comes Out

"In 1998, US Men’s National Team captain John Harkes was shockingly cut from the team right before the World Cup. The coach claimed it was because Harkes wouldn’t fit into his new preferred formation, but rumors flew on the early internet that it was actually because he had slept with his teammate Eric Wynalda’s wife. The rumor was so well-known in soccer circles that Harkes expressly denied it in his autobiography the next year."

"Fast forward 12 years to 2010 and Wynalda admits it’s true. The coach then came out and admitted it was why he dropped Harkes, but that he’d planned to keep the secret as long as Wynalda did."

– guyfromsoccer

Video Evidence

"The Tim Burton Hansel and Gretel that aired once on halloween in the 80's."

"I heard for years that it was fake but I knew it was real because my dad recorded everything in the 80s and he recorded that. We let a good friend of ours borrow it and switch it over from VHS to DVD and soon after that it made its way on to the internet , and there it is now. I know it's our copy because the tracking in the beginning is screwed up. Still have the VHS."

– Frozenthickness

"There was a similar story with a Nickelodeon movie called Cry Baby Lane. It was supposed to be so scary that Nickelodeon got complaints and denied its existence for years. Someone uploaded a taped copy to youtube about a decade ago."

– PattiAllen

The Movie Business

"That North Korea hacked Sony Pictures because of The Interview movie."

"I worked in the movie business at the time and the account managers at Sony all basically needed to get new identities as all of their personal information got leaked online."

OldMastodon5363

"My partner worked on that movie and the production bought all the crew 1 year of an identity theft tracking service."

CMV_Viremia

Keep Away From The Ears Of Kids

"Some banned episodes or scenes of cartoons."

"For example, I remember there was a Dexter’s Lab cartoon where he clones evil versions of DeDe and himself and they swear like every other word (censored of course), and people debated whether it even existed cause they only aired it like once. Now it’s pretty accessible online."

– Spledidlife

Yes, It's True

"Echelon, a massive electronic espionage system by the US and allies to intercept all electronic messages, especially emails."

"In the mid-nineties it was a topic on conspiracy BBS boards. A lot of people in my bubble at the time (mainly uni students in Europe) were including fake threats to the US in the their email signatures as a way to "protest" and "fill the system with false alarms" (obviously useless)."

"Then, in 1999-2000 came out to be true and a lot of security service agencies from UK and other US allies started to admit they were part of the espionage network."

– latflickr

How The Mighty Fell

"John Edward’s love child."

– ACam574

"A reminder that he was cheating on his wife while she was hospitalized for cancer treatment."

– Fanclock314

Ugh...

"Carrie Fisher's heart attack. Some a**hole who was on the same flight was livetweeting the whole medical emergency and justified it by insisting she was just making sure the family was informed."

– everylastlight

It Actually Happened

"Every year around her birthday there was a rumor that Betty White died. When I heard she died, I scoffed, saying that dumb rumor is back.... then saw it on the news. I was in shock."

– Known-Committee8679

"The fact that Betty died literally right before she turned 100 is such a Betty White way to go out."

– Paganigsegg

Big Actor, Small Roles

"I distinctly remember some rumors about the reason why Bruce Willis was taking so many roles in sh*tty movies before it was announced he has dementia."

– KampferMann

"RedLetterMedia did a deep dive on his recent movie activity to try and work out why exactly he was taking part in basically scam-movies. They noticed he had an earpiece in one of the scenes and joked that the director was feeding him lines. I remember they even disclaimed over the rumours at the time, and possible made a follow-up vid when it was revealed to the public."

– CardinalCreepia

What To Do Next?

"That the writer of LOST were making it up as they went."

"Turned out to be absolutely true."

– homarjr

That last one was kind of obvious!

Do you have any to add? Let us know in the comment below.

Person holding large stack of books
Photo by Jay Lamm on Unsplash

Whether you're naturally interested in fun facts and trivia or not, it's always nice to know a few that you can pull out of your pocket at a moment's notice as a nice conversation starter.

But there are some fun facts out there that are so weird, people become more preoccupied with how the teller found out that information rather than the information itself.

Redditor Dry_Bus_935 asked:

"What is your 'don't ask me how I know' random fact?"

Nuclear Fail Safe

"You have quite a lot of time, certainly more than ten seconds, to turn back on the main pumps of a nuclear reactor once you have accidentally turned them off."

- egorf

"I'm not surprised. The amount of fail safes, redundancies, and emergency scenario planning for nuclear power plants is insane."

"I toured a nuclear plant and wrote my high school senior thesis on the plans put in place to ensure the Fukushima disaster would not happen at that plant."

"I'm sure the secondary pumps are plenty capable of handling the reactor until the main pumps are repaired or just turned back on."

- Borderlandsman

Happy Cat

"If your cat chews on fresh eucalyptus, they might start hallucinating and fall over repeatedly, leading to a $400 emergency vet bill just to be told she’s just kinda high."

- oddidealstronghold

"And, that's part of why koalas love it. Little stoners."

- littlebluefoxy

Archaeology: Do Not Lick

"Old human bones are very porous, so if you lick them, they’ll stick to your tongue."

- clanculcarius

Sharing is Caring

"A pigeon will only eat a Starburst if you chew it up a little bit first. Just to clarify: chew the Starburst, not the pigeon."

- OhTheHueManatee

"Instructions unclear. Pigeon unhappy."

- Wild-Lychee-3312

Intriguing Anatomy

"Everyone is here with the creepy crime stuff, and I'm just like, 'A soft fur rat has 22 nipples.'"

- horroscoblue

"Okay, so either they have really small nipples, their nipples overlap, or they have nipples in places where there shouldn't be nipples."

"(I've never written the word 'nipples' so many times in a singular sentence before.)"

- GdeGraaf

'Don't Ask Me,' Indeed!

"Turmeric can be used as clothes dye. It is capable of permanently dyeing cotton cloth even after it has passed through the digestive tract of an adult male."

- SlefeMcDichael

"You s**t your pants, didn't you?"

- PMmecrossstitch

"I'd prefer not to answer that question."

- SlefeMcDichael

High-Risk Survival Skills

"If you ever trying to survive in the Arctic, don’t eat polar bear liver. It is so high in vitamin A, it will kill you."

- WrongWayCorrigan-361

"It's also surrounded by a lethal amount of angry polar bear."

- horanc2

Real-Life Spies

"TV shows and movies go out of their way to make military/intelligence officers look bada**."

"But real-life 'spies,' by design and training, are boring. They have regular houses and standard second-hand cars, they dress down, and they have vague, boring job titles (accounts receivable) as cover, and they do not draw attention to themselves. Most come from specialized academia."

- Ok_Worth_1093

Haunting Reality

"Your muscles can keep twitching for several hours after you die."

- JustDave62

"Also, beards can appear to grow. This is however not because the beard itself grows but because the skin shrinks."

- RRautamaa

"I worked at a morgue for over eight years. If you grasp the hand of a dead body to move the arm, the hand will grasp back, but that's just muscles and tendons reacting to the tension."

- goneferalinid

The Sneakiness of Drowning

"When a drowning victim is revived, get them to a hospital as soon as possible. Drowning is the leading cause of death of kids from the age of one to seven and is ruled as accidental drowning when it comes to secondary drowning or dry drowning."

"Basically, your lungs are full of water despite being revived. Your lungs will absorb the liquid, but not before your body acidifies from high levels of carbon dioxide. The only chance to survive is to have the lungs pumped with oxygen via CPAP machine and time."

"Also, drowning is extremely quiet. You don’t hear the victim go under. And if you see flailing, do not attempt to save the victim otherwise you’ll become another drowning victim. Throw them a lifeline and hope their amygdala realizes that a rope or something is floating near them and grabs on it."

- Dfiggsmeister

Not Everyone's Favorite Chocolate

"Hershey’s chocolate has the strong smell of vomit or feces to some people (me), and that’s because they use butyric acid as a preservative. Butyric acid is the compound that makes vomit smell so bad."

"Edit: Digging further into it, there are some claims that they may not be “adding” the butyric acid, but rather it is occurring from essentially spoiling the milk in their milk chocolate. Either way, the butyric acid and putrid smell remains a part of their product."

- hefewiseman1

"That explains the weird aftertaste I always get! I don’t smell it but their chocolate always has this super unpleasant sharp/acidic aftertaste that I find repulsive. I assume this is why!!"

- PomegranateNo975

Do Not Lick the Asbestos

"Asbestos tastes like chalk. And if you lick it, it has the texture of extremely gritty sandpaper. Which is actually the feeling of microscopic asbestos needles piercing your flesh!"

- TooYoungToBeThisOld1

Mapping Out the War

"Beginning in 1911 in anticipation of the outbreak of WW1 in 1914, two statesmen, one from England and one from France, began visiting locations in France that they believed would be the settings for a number of major battles that would occur during the great war."

"Long bike rides through these future battle zones in the countryside and weeks spent building a foundation for a French-Anglo codebook that would later prove important in helping win the war."

- fjordperfect123

Avoiding Lawsuits > Protecting Patients

"Doctors, or surgeons more specifically, that make too many mistakes during surgery, ie, leaving instruments in patients, frequently gets ‘quietly traded’ to other hospitals where they continue their path of destruction with the patients not being aware of their past record. Hospitals tend to keep quiet about the matter to avoid lawsuits."

- Kittytigris

Bonus Points: Do This While Having Lunch in Your Car

"If you overfill a fast food gravy cup and then put a lid on, it will create a pressurized gravy stream that sprays all over your face and uniform while your coworker looks on in horror."

- thechaosjester776

This subReddit thread was so a roller-coaster of random facts, we've surely all walked away learning something.

But the biggest takeaway might just be: Maybe don't lick so many things.

Shocked woman covering her mouth
vaitheeswaran Nataraj/Unsplash

When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.

But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.

Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.

It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.

Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:

"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"

These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.

Bleeding Out

"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."

"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."

– DongLaiCha

Tragic News

"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."

– accountnameredacted

Bottom Of The Barrel

"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."

– Crotch-Monster

A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.

Like Father, Like Son

"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."

– psycospaz

Busted

"Flashing blue lights."

– FiddleOfGold

"This sobered me up just thinking about it."

– redmaple_syrup

Losing Sight

"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."

– MissHibernia

Quitting The Bottle

"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."

– omgtater

These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.

Unplanned House Guests

"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."

– Oneinsevenbillion75

Serious Health Warning

"Elevated liver enzymes."

"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."

"So I opted for recovery, instead."

"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."

– Far_Meal8674

The Joyride

"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."

– foxfood9116

The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?

How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.

But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.

Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.

Woman holding multiple shopping bags
Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.

Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.

These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.

From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.

Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:

"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"

"Tale As Old As Time..."

"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","

"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."

"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."

"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."

"Lol!"

"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom

"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."

"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."

"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."

"I think he was a germaphobe."

"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."

"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."

"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.

"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."

"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."

"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000

Money Burn GIF by nog Giphy

Who Wore It Better?

"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."

"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."

"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."

"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'

"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"

"No."- mertsey627

Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...

"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."

"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."

"It was very low key."

"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."

"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."

"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."

"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."

"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa

south park wedding GIF Giphy

See You In Court!

"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."

'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."

"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."

"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."

"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."

"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin

It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!

"I work in a public library."

"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."

"A popular book that just came out."

"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."

"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten

A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!

"My own."

"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"

"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."

"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"

"Unacceptable!"

"This shall not stand!"

"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."

"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."

"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."

"I got over it."- DeathGrover

homer simpson episode 23 GIF Giphy

Holy Matrimony!

"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."

"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."

"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."

"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."

"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."

"It's just a party."

"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree

When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...

"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore

In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...

"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."

"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."

"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."

"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."

"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."

"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."

"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."

"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."

"We don’t offer wrapping services."

"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."

'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae

Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso Giphy

Happiest Place On Earth!

"I used to work for Disney."

"That in itself should tell you everything."

"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."

"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."

"Suddenly got worse huh?"

"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."

"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."

"I'm not kidding."

"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."

"My wife worked booking."

"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."

"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."

"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."

"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."

"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."

"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong

Disney World GIF Giphy

The horror!

Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!

It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...

Said absolutely no one.