Just because someone is an adult or a parent doesn't mean crazy things can't fall out of their mouths every so often.
Sometimes parents say the darndest things.
That's why we should always have a pen or a recording device at the ready.
I suggest the phone.
Just wear fitted tees with pockets and hit record.
You have know idea how much having receipts will pay off mentally later.
Redditor TheGasMove wanted to hear about what things parents have said to their kids that left kids SHOOKETH, so they asked:
"What has a parent said to you that made you go WTF?"
The amount of things my mother has said to me that has left me gobsmacked is endless.
I should've kept a journal.
Comedy gold.
The Proof
Jennifer Lawrence Reaction GIFGiphy"After I told my mother that I didn't open up to her or my dad because I didn't trust them with my emotions, she started screaming that she hated me. Like, girl, this is exactly why I don't tell you things 😂."
LandPiranha63
Lessons Learned
"My mom told me that women pooped babies out of their butt. I believed this until I was 12 or 13. Boy, I got laughed at when I used this as my answer when asked in Sex Ed."
Eastern-Operation275
"I (27 F) have divorced parents and my mom always taught me the proper anatomy for things and that it's nothing shameful. On the other end, one day when I was at my dad's, a stray cat gave birth on his porch, and my stepsisters (same age) told my half-sister that it was coming out of the cat's butt, and I was like dude what? I questioned them, and they gave me scornful looks like I just said something offensive. LOL."
SpaceTimeBurrito
SURPRISE!!!
"A few months ago I had gone to do a surprise visit to my grandparents on my dad’s side. While I was driving up their property I saw them walking in their groceries and witnessed seeing my dad for the first time. I had never met my dad in my life but knew my grandparents."
"I walked up and greeted my grandmother and she ushered me over to talk to my father. As I went to greet him this dude threw his hood on and jumped in his truck and locked the doors and said no words to me. Never in my life have I witnessed a grown man run away like that."
Dabtoker3000
Facts...
"My father once told me that between my brother and I, I was his favorite. This caught me off guard because I thought parents weren’t supposed to have favorites."
fun_Dip_fan
"My dad once told me I’m not his favorite. So I told him he’s not my favorite either. Proceeded to get angry."
Honest_Math_7760
"It's problematic to share with your kids that you have a favorite."
LackEfficient7867
Bald Choices
Regret No GIF by Outside TVGiphy"I shaved my head at 21 and kept that hairstyle for the last 28 years. My dad walked into my room when I was 26 and asked me for a comb! He looked at me, thought about it for a second, and laughed. RIP dad. I miss you."
Content-Damage8406
It's my hair. I'll do what I want to.
That's the kid's motto.
Adults not so much.
At least that was my experience.
Why Bother?
Ytho GIFGiphy"When I called my mother to find out a good time of year to visit her she said, 'What for?'"
Space_T0ilet
Sure Papa Joe!
"Wasn’t my parents but my Grandpa."
“'Josh can you take me to see Marge?' Marge was his long-time girlfriend who had Alzheimer’s. My GP was in his 70s at the time and we took away his car because he was a dangerous man behind the wheel, to say the least. 'Sure Papa Joe!' That or PJoe was his nickname."
"Drive him to the place Marge was cared for at. Stop at the front and ask 'How long until I come back?' He replied 'Give me an hour. That should be long enough for us to have sex.' I start crying laughing and he leaves with a giant smirk. I could never look at him again without thinking or saying 'Almost 80 and still getting after it, WTF!"
ackbosh
The Joker
"Oof. I hadn’t talked to my dad in 15 years. I decided to reach out (for certain reasons and not to restart a relationship). He asked if he could ask me about my life. I let him. I told him, among other things, I was in a wonderful relationship with a terrific gal."
“'Is this a real relationship or like the girlfriends I had when I was with your mother.'”
"I was equally glad I disowned him 15 years ago, disappointed a man and a father would speak like that to his estranged son, and angry that he was the father I was born to. He is just one big joke to me."
Silence-brothers
Chop Chop
Steve Harvey Reaction GIFGiphy"I would often visit the kitchen to watch how my mother cooks. One day when my father saw me coming out of the kitchen, he said 'You keep visiting the kitchen, your penis and testicles are gonna fall off. That’s how girls are made.” Context: I was 7 when he said that to me and we are a Korean family."
DeepSleepr
Learning to cook, is a great survival skill.
More dads need to get onboard with that.
Redditor lionprincesslioness wanted to hear about the idiotic reasons people have been taunted by others, so they asked:
"What is the dumbest thing somebody has made fun of you for?"
I was made fun of for everything.
I lost track of it all.
I've moved on.
That's why my therapist has a beach house.
Horrible Kids
Will Smith Smh GIF by The Academy AwardsGiphy"My mom being dead... I was 13."
eminva02
"That sucks on both counts. I hope you're doing great now and they're not."
thefragileapparatus
A Real Man
"My husband got made fun of because he takes care of his kids. Bunch of older guys making fun because my husband changed diapers."
babylightgirl
"I just became a father and I can't imagine not changing my baby’s diapers, rocking her to sleep, and being around her every day. A man who makes fun of another man for taking diligent care of his kids is just insecure about his own manhood and has horribly suppressed childhood memories of not being loved and hugged enough."
ATastyPickle
"I changed diapers on my girls, I also talk to them about puberty and breasts and menstruation, I'm their f**king dad and that's what I choose to do."
omac4552
Offended
"I'm in college, I wrote a paper about how my parents met and got married. (Met in a bar, eloped 6 months later). A super religious lady in my class got offended and complained to the teacher that I was promoting non-Christian values and sinning. I defended myself by saying I was promoting love, that's all, and it comes in different shapes and sizes, time frames, etc. The teacher stood up for me and told her college might not be her thing if she gets so easily offended. My parents will celebrate their 42nd wedding anniversary in less than 2 weeks."
realRavenbell
Give it a Comeback
"Some bald guy tried to make a joke about me having a big forehead. I told him, 'At least my forehead stops somewhere.'"
RandomUsername420
"That’s a great comeback. This annoying bald guy I know always makes fun of my weight (and other women’s weight). He’s a boomer, but it’s some ancient form of begging."
"One time I got fed up cause he said 'Hey, are you pregnant again?' when I was obviously just having a fatter moment and I said, 'No, are you still bald or did you find a cure?' He got so sulky and quiet after that. It’s not my proudest moment cause I wouldn’t normally dream of mocking someone’s appearance but I just felt great cause he sucks and he needs to be taken down a few notches."
Latke_Kid
Toughen Up
Oh No Facepalm GIF by AminéGiphy"Was once told by my drunk brother that I wasn't tough enough because I had never been to jail. I told him I was never dumb enough to go to jail. He was arrogant when he drank, RIP."
Cold-Committee-7719
Some siblings really don't know when to quit!
It's hard when you can't escape the demons.
Faded
Workout Working Out GIF by Sesame StreetGiphy"My gym clothes in middle school. We all literally had the same exact shorts and shirt, women included. It was just green basketball shorts and a gray shirt, and one of my fellow students called me out one day because the writing on the shirt was faded (the school name was plastered on there)."
jmizzle2022
But it's true...
"In high school, I did a presentation about the bubonic plague. In the end, I mentioned it has not been totally eradicated, and there are still occasional cases in the US."
"This was followed by laughter from everyone including my teacher. But like, it really still exists and has not been eradicated."
Nielas_Aran_76
"Same thing happened to me when a kid gave a presentation on different types of energy sources. I asked if they looked up anything about nuclear power plants because I was genuinely curious about those. I never really hear much about them. The kid gave me a weird look and said those don’t exist anymore and the teacher and the kid both smirked like I was stupid but nuclear power plant’s definitely still exist and are in operation all over the world."
Alliserious
School Days
"I got laughed at the first day I wore glasses to school (4th grade). Being a pretty sensitive boy, after that I would take them off after I left the house for school, and never wore them at school again. I managed to convince my parents to let me get contact lenses when I was in 7th grade."
"I got braces in 6th grade, and once, when caught goofing around, my teacher threatened to paddle me 'so hard the metal would fly out of my mouth.' I told my parents about that, and I think my mom called the principal. But this was in 1971 or ‘72, so nothing became of it."
trobinson999
Lunch Hour
"I was just thinking about this the other day when I was making my kid lunch: back when I was little my mom would cut my sandwiches in half and some kids made fun of me for it. They said I was poor and the reason my mom cut my sandwich in half was so I could take half home for dinner. S**t doesn't even make sense but kids are effing stupid and will make fun of each other for anything."
PunchBeard
WTF?!
twinning pauly d GIFGiphy"When I was in high school, apparently being a twin was 'gay'. To the point, that a dude fought me over it."
cosmoboy
Why would a person make fun of a twin?
Some people have no life whatsoever.
