There are just some conversations one can't and maybe shouldn't have with a parent.
Certain aspects of your life are only meant for you.
Go to the grave with them.
It's cool if you and your parents are open.
But boundaries are smart to have.
Tell us all the things the the grown-ups don't need to know.
Redditor tinfoil3346 wanted everyone to fess up to all the naughty things the adults on our lives can't know.
"What is something you will never tell your parent?"
I can't divulge any of my secrets. My mom reads me.
I'll Pass
Food No GIF by BustleGiphy"My mom's cheesecake is just NOT that good. Everyone praises her and tells her it's the best they've ever had. They've even gone so far as to tell her to sell them. It's just not it. I can never tell her, though."
ashissexy
Being a Witness
"Seeing them so miserable together is the main reason why I don't ever want to marry."
Toulamarr
"I can relate. I grew up in a dysfunctional family. There was so much emotional and physical abuse. My mother couldn't leave my father for many reasons. Now they are fine and things are not as toxic as they used to be."
"But watching their marriage, made me realize I don't wanna ever get married. I hate marriage. That's something my parents don't accept. They want me to live the life they think is good for me, without considering if that's what I want. It's just so messy."
Sea_Custard2562
Legend
"I got so drunk and stoned one night I let a raccoon in the house because I thought it was my dogs. I got the raccoon out but the raccoon ripped up the couch. I just flipped the couch pillows over it’s been a year and they still haven’t found out."
Izzynivy
"What a legend. That seriously makes for a great story and someday when they're getting rid of the couch you can tell them about it. Plus, I wouldn't put it past some kids to do that sober. I'm sure you were a little older than most would be, but hey, you were also intoxicated."
AtDawnWeDEUSVULT
F U Cancer
"That my cancer came back. My Mom is 76 and Step Dad 85 both with heart problems. They didn't handle it well years ago so now would destroy them."
Ok_Introduction_7788
"I hate cancer with every fiber of my being. I got diagnosed with it at 29. I was fortunate that mine was one that was beatable, but it was not an easy road. It was quite a physical and emotional rollercoaster. I don't know what kind you are dealing with or what stage you are in, but I wish you the best."
Odd_Description1
Lazarus
funeral im back GIFGiphy"I died on the table. They didn’t know. I died for a short while and I’m back."
TreatGlittering7469
Now that is some daytime drama drama.
Truth
Will Ferrell Dad GIF by filmeditorGiphy"That I know my dad is not my real dad. Found old letters in my mom's things. The man that raised me will always be my dad."
Sudden-Clock-2068
Degradation
"How much it hurts me when they degrade my success."
MusicLife16
"I feel you. I just got into on of the top schools in Melbourne and I thought my parents would be happy and I would be stress free. But they are saying I'm not good enough to go there and stuff like that. I feel you. It hurts."
TangledExtensionCord
"Lemme tell you a secret, they know you ARE good enough but are jealous of your success and can't handle it."
CCGamesSteve
Vegas
"When I was 17 I was suppose to go to cheer camp with the cheerleading squad but after my Mom dropped me off with the cheer coach I told her I didn't feel good. My boyfriend came and got me and we drove to Vegas that weekend. We both had fake IDs and had a great time. How my parents never found this out... I will never know."
Sea-Horror-814
No wonder no one likes you...
"That they’re the reason I keep everyone at a distance emotionally. I can’t open up because every time I did when I was younger I was just yelled at."
mascaratearstreaks
"My mom would use my fears and problems against me later. I would cry about being picked on at school and two days later she would get mad at me about something and say 'no wonder no one likes you' This is when I was like 8."
jessflyc
"Same, and now that I’m working on it, it hurts just as much as it did then. I hope you find peace with the past, you are strong and capable!"
ImaginaryStudent9097
Leave me alone...
Little Mermaid Soul GIFGiphy"That I'm familiar with them, not friendly. Every encounter with them is soul draining on almost every level."
NewEnglandManchowder
kids is 90%
"The reason I won't have kids is 90% because all my medical issues that prevent me from having a normal life are genetic, and 10% is that given my mental health I don't know that I would survive during/after pregnancy."
"I've been upfront about the 10% and made it seem like the sole reason, with 'it's just as well, my kids would probably inherit XYZ anyway' sounding like an afterthought. My parents would be crushed by the truth and would think that I blamed them for my life struggles, even if I told them I didn't."
OkBottle8719
Forgiveness
"I am absolutely destroyed that no one helped me with my mental health issues as a kid, and she was mentally abusive to me and made it worse. I will never forgive her for that. We have a good relationship now and I don't want to ruin it, but yea, really sucks."
mcbeetoto
JUMP!
"That at 15 I had sex with my boyfriend in my bed and my father got home early from work. My boyfriend hid under the bed until he could sneak out the front door. He jumped on his bike half dressed and biked away at top speed. Great memory for me and I will never tell. I’m in my 50’s. Lol."
likespeopleandbooks
Secrets
"I knew about my brothers porn stash, because he kept it under the towels in our shared bathroom. But don't you worry big bro. I'll never tell our parents that you have a thing for large black women that don't shave. Your secret is safe with me. And the Internet."
MarionPowellV
"Secret is safe with us, no worries."
murray1337
Whimpers and tears...
Married At First Sight Reaction GIF by LifetimeGiphy"I have genuine struggles with crying because as a kid some of my friends and even my schools guidance counselor told me I looked & sounded weird when I cried."
"I was crying that day because I had a nightmare the day before of my dad dying and I really didn’t want him to die. Ever since I was told that, I’ve found it hard to cry. When I do, it’s a few pathetic whimpers and tears. I haven’t been able to full-on sob or cry in about 6 years."
Fandoms_local_Kiwi
They Know
"I put my fist through the wall behind my old bedroom door at my parents' house many years ago. To this day, they have no idea it is there thanks to a strategically placed Star Wars poster that I never took down. I live in fear of the day they decide to remove it."
MarionPowellV
"I got married yesterday. In my speech I basically said those words out loud to them for the first time. It felt really good, despite them probably knowing anyway."
UnoriginalBob
feeling/doing
"About how much better I’m feeling/doing. All my life I’ve had mental issues, constantly depressed, suicidal, and alone. When the doctors sounded the alarm on my mental state at age 9, neither one of them believed them or me. Specifically stating, “She’s lying, what could she possibly have to deal with that’s so hard. I would love to see her deal with the misery I go through.'"
"Every time I mentioned getting help when I was young I was screamed at me would say things like, 'Am I really that horrible of a mother?' When I turned 18, I went to a doctor alone for the first time. I finally got the help I needed. I’m on a lot of medication now, but I feel so, so much better. I even started college and am able to do normal human things."
"I won’t ever tell me parents this. I can’t even imagine how they would act if they actually knew. When I see them now, they would always mention how different I seem and 'how they miss the old me.' I’ve got news for them, the old me was so desperate to feel they way I do now."
houseofblxck
Spider Down
"I bought a tarantula as a gag to scare a coworker. Afterward, I had a friend who was going to give it a home. Before I could give it to my friend it escaped from my bedroom. I looked for it but couldn’t find it. While I was at work about a week later, my dad found it crawling around the first floor of the house and it startled him."
"He managed to catch it and put it outside the house. My sister just happen to get home from a sleep away camp so he blamed her thinking the giant spider hitched a ride on her things."
Dawgfish_Head
Oh the secrets we'll take to the grave. Mom and dad must never know.
What secrets would you like to get off your chest without telling your parents? Liberate yourself in the comments.
Why is it so difficult to think before you speak? Words matter and the way you deliver them matters even more. We're in a new era today, you can't just blurt out the first odd thing in your head. You never really could but now we know better; or at least we're supposed to. Look up the definition of a compliment and go from there.
Redditor u/sybaritic_footstool wanted to know what are some of the strangest things people thought was a thoughtful thing to say by asking....
Extra Doable....
GiphyThis old man lived on my street, I would always say hi to him in the morning on my way out to work. Didn't know him outside that greeting. He must have been in his 70's.
Looks at me and goes 'You look extra doable this morning.'
I double timed it and stopped talk to him. Forgotmyshoesagain
Reaching 8....
Every day I ride the elevator to the top floor of my office building. One day a couple of years ago an attractive 30ish year old woman got on the elevator at 2 and pressed 8.
When she got on the elevator, she stared at my forehead the entire time. The elevator reached 8 and she literally backed out of the elevator and held the door.
Still staring at me, she blurted out:
"I know I'm not supposed to say anything, but that is the most beautiful toupee I've ever seen."
Then the doors closed without either of us saying another word and I've never seen her since.
Thanks I grew it myself. -Blixx-
At Disney once....
At Disney once, me and my cousin (I was 16 he was 15) were sitting on a bench waiting for the others to come back from the bathrooms, and a lady (prob mid-30s) Stopped and stared at us for like, 10 seconds, then she said "You guys are so cute! Invite me to your wedding!" Then gave us a business card with her name and stuff on it. He just silently put it in his pocket and then we both just started laughing, we told our 3 other cousins, but not the adults. KrunchyCandy
Yikes....
One time I dressed up as a zombie to perform the Thriller dance at my workplace.
Colleague came up to me, got real close to my ear, and whispered:
"You look great as a zombie. I'm a necrophiliac, by the way."
Yikes....
(Edited to add some context: This colleague was in a different department from me so we only knew each other in passing. He was also about double my age — I was 24/25 at the time and he was closer to late 40s/early 50s). Reddit
Bad Vibes....
GiphyA guy once remarked that I looked too young to be legally allowed to work. I told him I was 16 and he said he would have guessed 12 or 13 (I get this all the time and it pisses me off, but when in customer service smile through the pain). He then looked me up and down (taking an extra second to look at my butt) and said "You could do better than working here." And winked at me.
Not too creepy, but the vibes were incredibly off. whoeverthehell
"liked it that way."
First job at Starbucks at 16. Some older man probably 60's who worked at another store in the strip mall came in and told me I was so pretty and looked very "young and innocent" and that he "liked it that way."
He also followed me out to the parking garage one night when I was alone but didn't realize my boyfriend had come to make sure I made it safely to my car. He quickly left when he saw my boyfriend waiting at my car. Prison-mike23
In Your Eyes...Â
"I love your eyes! I can stare into them all day!" Proceeds to stare into my eyes for 2 minutes straight.
I'm a guy and not extremely lucky in the lady department. I'm not particularly choosy. But that one gave me the hebee jeebies. I didn't think women was capable of that level of creepy. But I learned that day! Jauxerous
Hands Free....
Giphy"you're like a pale Buddha."
Proceeds to touch my belly without notice. RollerKirbyDerby
Over the Table....
When I was 18, a old man bent down to look under the table we were both at and told me I had nice legs. I was wearing a shortish skirt. I guess it's not overly creepy but I felt so uncomfortable though. LittleMissCosmic1992
The Few....
Ugh. I have a few.
"You're very attractive... for a redhead. They're almost always ugly." ( man old enough to be my father)
"Are those your legs or are you wearing white hose?"
At a family funeral : "That dress is really wearing you - you look stunning. I always enjoy SEEING you" said by my husband's uncle as he hugged me WAY too tight and close and whispered in my ear. I kneed him and shouted my husband's name. He denied the whole thing. (He is a Baptist preacher and is on wife #5)
"If you ever need extra money, you can definitely sell your "wares" *wink - said by a complete stranger in line at Winn Dixie and he tried to hand me a card that said "Joe's Body Shop" uh, NO. Also, I had my 3 kids with me. oshaughnessygirl
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.
People Share The Most Uncomfortable Things People Have Confessed About Themselves To Them
We've all been there. A conversation is going fine and suddenly you're thrust onto a runaway train. And the train is really gross and horrifying.
I don't exactly know what is going through people's minds when these moments of hyper-honesty occur. Maybe you have a face that just screams trustworthy. Maybe you're simply unlucky enough to pass through a person's life at the exact moment when they absolutely cannot go another second without getting this weird thing off their chest.
Either way, these people and these moments aren't going away anytime soon. Best thing we can do is read about when others have been thrown the TMI hot potato and hope that at least yours wasn't THAT bad.
u/ijustwantedtoparty asked, "What weird thing did somebody tell you that they shouldn't have felt so comfortable telling you?"
Ya Know I Was Curious About That
I see my mechanic a like 5 times a year and he always tells me how many asian girls he met online and had sex with since we last met. Its like an unprompted tradition he must get past before we can talk about what's wrong with the car.
Gotta Be A Better Way to Do That
Dude pays me at work. Then tells me he can't cum. He can have an orgasm, but then needs to use a "straw" to get it all out.
Where it All Went Down
I was going to a summer cottage owned by my work. Upon hearing that, a coworker of mine informed me that his daughter was conceived there, in the very bed that I was about to sleep in.
Did not need to know that,
at all.
Don't Make Em Like They Used To
My 89 year old grandfather told me his and his wife's favourite sexual position. Number 1 on the list of things I never ever needed to know.
GiphyWhat a Compliment
Sitting with my fiancé's new friend and she starts bragging to me how she's been manipulating men including my fiancé into doing things for her. (Picking up her paychecks for her, babysitting her son while she goes on a date, cleaning her place for her etc) Then she started showing me these long messages she'd send to guys she had just met on dating sites telling them how my fiancé was her best friend and her standard for guys.
Maybe Try Plan B
That he considers paying a hooker to lose his virginity. It was back when I worked in retail, and he was a co-worker. We didn't talk much, only a couple of words, and only about work. Then one day he came to me, and dropped this bomb.
At first at though he was joking, and tried to laugh it off, but he was dead serious. He also wanted to hear my opinion, but I told him that this was not a comfortable conversation for me.
Later another co-worker told me he tries to talk about this to all female workers, and he hopes that one of us would offer him to take his virginity, so he doesn't have to pay.
All These People Talking About Incest Like It's Chill
An ex-coworker, whom I barely knew, told me she was in a sexual relationship with her biological father.
They had been together for about 10 years, and moved to a new city together. She was only 25 or so.
I politely smiled, switched topics, and went home shortly afterwards.
Of course I kept that story to myself, but damn.
A kid I was sort of friends with in high school told me that he regularly had sex with his twin brother.
For the record, he had no history of ever being sexually abused, and from what he talked about, it was mutually suggested between the two.
They were just gay and into incest.
GiphyIn-Laws
Managed a restaurant and a man was there to service the building, HVAC or something. He seems anxious and starts rattling on about his girlfriend and then her brother and how said brother fu*ked a cow... immediately apologizes, "I don't know why I said that, I probably shouldn't have told you that, sorry."
Takes Commitment. Proud of You, Sis.
My sister told me she was getting her tonsils out, so that she would give better head.
Time to Review the Policies
A (strange) coworker, whom I wasn't ever close with, decided to tell me at work - across the entire office - that she and her husband were having marital problems due to lack of sex. He wanted more sex. But since she wasn't trying to get pregnant, she didn't see the point and said he needed to get over it.
This happened loudly, out of nowhere and with no prompting. What made it more uncomfortable was that she was our HR person.
GiphyBlue Collar, Yellow Collar
Working on a assembly line, a girl I had to work next to that day explained to me why part of her shirt was yellow and wrinkled. The yellow part was cat pee, it's wrinkled cause she sleeps in it. And hasn't done laundry in 2 week's...yes she smelled and yes I told her she did.
GiphyGotta Be Against Some Policies
Next girl working with me confessed that she slept with 50 people at work. Married, has 3 kids, not sure if kid #2 and #3 is her husbands. Then told me not to tell anyone, I barely knew her, but I'm sure people all ready knew this about her. There were less than 300 people working at this plant, that's including 2 shift's.
Work Trip!
business partner of my then boss, that had just introduced himself to me:
nice team you've got here. we should all go on a trip to thailand together. you can fuck prostitutes without protection over there! they all have documents from their doctors showing that they're clean!
Letting it Flow
Cashier at St. Louis Bread Co. informing me she's on her period and flowing very heavily. I get it, I'm a fellow woman, but damn. Its a restaurant.
Getting Off His **Chest**
My coworker told me that he has had flare ups of gonorrhea over 30 times, he has herpes, and god knows what else. He said he can't remember how many times he's had a q-tip swab in his d*ck hole. He doesn't believe me that I've never had an std and is constantly bringing it up. I don't know what compels this man to constantly talk about STD's but he must have a forest fire going on down there.
Segues Are Overrated Anyway
Me, sits down for my lunch break at work. Random coworker comes and sits down and says to me, "so ive been watching cartoon monster porn".
GiphyA Devoted Marriage
My coworker went into great detail (including a hand drawn diagram) about how constipated she was after one of her c-sections. She said she was so uncomfortable that she asked her husband to try to dig some of the poo out of her butt with his finger. So she put a towel down on the bed, laid on her side, and he got to work. After some successful digging she rolled over and noticed a butter knife on the bedside table and asked what it was doing there to which he responded "well, it was too hard for my fingers".
Life is uncomfortable. That is a hard truth. And sometimes we are just left questioning and squirming. Honest reactions do not make us bad people, it may make us people who need more therapy, but not bad people. Working through life's "awkward" moments are important to discuss. So lets.
Redditor u/birchwave wanted everyone to own up and discuss.... What never fails to make you uncomfortable?
Eat it Up!
GiphyDetecting a crunch in a soft food. textmonster404
It's revolting when you're eating meat and suddenly there's a crunchy bit. I don't understand people that keep eating like it's nothing when that happens. BattleoftheBoomers
"You want me to pause it???"
When you're enjoying a movie and somebody walks in when an intense sex scene suddenly comes on. SamDaMan97
I was watching a movie with my dad and in the movie, things started to get steamy between two of the characters. I got up to go to the kitchen to refill my drink. My dad calls to me from the living room, "You want me to pause it???" No dad, I don't want you to pause it. LilyKnightMcClellanLilyKnightMcClellan
Don't Cry.Â
People crying — I don't know how to respond. recoveringPSteacher
Chit Chat.Â
"We need to talk later." MapReston
When the boss steps out of his office, makes eye contact with me across the room, and gestures with his hand to come to his office. You know you just screwed up irreparably. shootingcharlie8
The Convo.
GiphyWhen they ask me where I'm currently working at. I'm unemployed. ShoutAtThe_Devil
Everybody hates those catching up small talk convos. Change the subject to something more interesting if at all possible. Still applies even after you land your dream job. btron3030
Center of Attention!Â
Being the center of attention. I hate birthdays for this reason. irishmickguard
Same. What I really want for my birthday is, specifically, not a party. That also goes for father's day. Let's just put hotdogs on the grill and play board games. No gifts, no special attention, no bullshit. Just a good time with people I care about. theBonVoyage
​Walking past one coworker in a long empty hallway.
Walking past one coworker in a long empty hallway.
When do I look at them and say hi? How many feet away? The further the distance between us-the longer the interaction will be.
Do I need to make eye contact first? I hate eye contact. It makes me want to crawl out of my own skin.
Should I smile at them? My smile is always off and always looks forced. I might as well just not do it.
Can I just keep walking and not even look at them? Where do I look? At the ground?
Why is this hallway so long and why am I so fucking weird and stressed out over nothing?
This is my life about six-eight times a day monday through friday. jyvurentropy
Inches...
People's faces being 12 inches from me when they talk to me. HaratoBaratoHaratoBarato
Omg so true, like just take a step closer so we're 6 inches apart. That's much more comfortable. soccerfreak67890
Sink.Â
Bad jokes or actors acting awkward scenes. Makes me want to sink through the damn floor. Vaspiov
There were so many times during the Office where I just had to pause the show and watch a yt video to get away from the embarrassment Michal put himself in. imavinyl
I'm going to be REALLY honest, here.
I'm going to be REALLY honest, here.
Special needs people really make me feel uncomfortable. I've thought about it a lot, and I have come to the conclusion that I feel uncomfortable because I simply can't predict their behavior and thought processes and that fact makes me feel uneasy.
Like, I know they're not going to do something tragic to me, but my stupid brain thinks the possibility exists that they will and the unpredictability only makes it worse. It's irrational. Corporal_Yorper
Catcall
Random men telling me to smile
I never know what to do- smile and chuckle? Ignore them? Tell them to fuck off and just end up escalating things? 3spoopy_5me
Get stabby Phaedrug
Ask them for a joke, it usually throws them off and they get the deer in headlights look. It's great ittybitgirl
Theres a look I learned to use on kids called the "no bullsh!t" face. It's like relaxing every muscle and sapping all energy from my face. It's not mere resting bitch face, its letting the cold seep into my eyes and my non active frown. Like I let gravity take over, relaxing my jaw as well.
If you want to be theatrical, pass your hand over your face and transform your expression then. They will find it disturbing and realize even a more neutral expression is better than the hypothermic psychopathic stare they are currently and uncomfortably now exposed to. If they persist, pass your hand backup with a seemingly cheerful genuine smile. Do they realllllyyy want a psychopath faking it to them? PoiLethe
Who knows what plethora of things you can find in another person's house? The place we call home can easily be a base for the strangest, the bizarre, and the unexpected.
u/Aura_Blaze_Official asked: Redditors who have a job where they go into other people's homes (plumbers, electricians, etc) what's the weirdest most disturbing thing you've seen while working in a customer's house?
At least she has a hobby.
Was a firefighter another time in my life. Had a middle of the night call to a mobile home for an elderly lady once. We walk in and it's dark but as my eyes start to adjust I think "oh that's weird wallpaper". I keep looking around "huh, it's on the ceiling too". Weird inconsistent patterns and rectangle shapes. Eyes adjust some more while we are talking to her. Wtf? "Are those puzzles?!"
She had hundreds of puzzles that she had glued when completed and then glued them to every surface of her mobile home. Walls, ceiling, living room, bedroom. Every square inch covered. Weird... But you do you. Especially in your own home. Certainly not as bad as most ITT.
Look at all these chickens.
Used to deliver oxygen to people's homes. Saw plenty of weird things. Lots of hoarders, but this one took the cake. He didn't want to let us into his house, but I had to do a home safety assessment before I could set up the equipment. He was anxious about letting me in because his house was mess. He kept telling me about his messy house.
Come to find out, it wasn't just messy. It was filled with 200 chickens. He was proud of his show chickens and wouldn't let them live in a barn or coop. The smell was unbearable. Other than that, he was a super nice guy.
What an awful sight.
A few years back I worked as an electrician.
I found a guy with a rifle laying next to him where he had tried to shoot himself, but he had "missed" the vital parts. Blood was all over the bed but he was still breathing, he was in coma state of mind, heard later that he died that day.
No idea.
Long ago I did estimates for fire and water damage repairs for a restoration company. This couple had a smallish fire in their bedroom. When I enter the home it's seemingly normal, smells like smoke (there was a fire, makes sense). They take me to the bedroom and it was the mattress that had endured the majority of the fire, along with some of the wall above the head of the bed and smoke damage to the ceiling.
Next to each side of the bed are 10 gallon buckets FILLED TO THE BRIM with cigarette butts, and hundreds of spilled over butts all over the floor. I was just in awe how they could live like this in their bedroom, especially since the rest of their home seemed tidy and normal. Also completely beyond me why they wouldn't clean it up after the fire if for no other reason than insurance adjusters being able to blame them (rightly) and possibly not pay out.
"How did the fire start," I asked. (required to ask)
"No idea," the husband replied.
I was a paramedic in Oakland and once I was in a home where a child has been bitten by a rat in her crib. As we were standing there talking to the mother about her options a rat walked up to one of the firefighters and bit his boot.
The firefighters stomp to the rat to death and the rat was taken to the health department for testing. That was a strange situation.
Awkward.
Fire Alarm Inspector. Working in a cheap long term hotel and knocked on a door where a larger man dressed in essentially a purple bikini opens the door half asleep. Enter to test the smoke detector and tried to keep my eyes off the bed but I knew I had seen something...tried not to look but I did and there's a big old purple adult toy next to the tv remote.
The detector then decides to not alarm in a timely fashion so I'm just staring at the wall hoping it will alarm so I get out of the room.
Probably the right move.
Bunch of used pregnancy tests on the floor of the teenage daughter's closet.
I didn't say a damn word to anybody.
Anxiety sucks.
GiphyJust read a post in another subreddit about a girl with social anxiety who hid under her bed when the plumbers came and then the plumbers caught her under there. And then she ran and hid in the bathroom until they left.
Wonder if those plumbers are on reddit. I most definitely want to hear their side.
Good call.
I use to do flooring and when we had to get up the sub flooring due to water damage. Underneath it there was a black garbage bag. When I opened said bag it had a bunch of women's clothes in it. Didn't think anything about it until we dumped it out and found ripped underwear and torn dresses.
Told the owner we had forgot some stuff at work and wouldn't be back until tomorrow. Called the police and never went back. The house was soon up for sale a month or so later.
That's kinda wholesome.
Food bank delivery to home bound elders.
I always fill two banana boxes (around foot and a half by 3 and a foot deep) of all types of food and deliver to his house. One time after delivering to him for 3 years I have to come inside because he hurt his foot.
He had never thrown out a single box. They lined every wall and entrance. He built a castle around his bed, and a series of paths through his house. It was like those pillow forts you would make as a kid but with boxes.
I asked him if he wanted help getting rid of them and he said no. That it was fun and helped with his dementia. He's super fun.
That's a whole lotta nope.
GiphyI work for a restoration company. This is a long story but I'll keep it short.
We get a call to go to this house. We're told to clean upstairs and completely gut the basement. It sounds like a lot of work but definitely doable. We arrive, and the second we set foot in the front door, we're greeted with the rancid stench of years of accumulated filth.
Once in the front door, we saw a mountain (literally up to my waist) of empty liquor bottles and milk jugs, littered with empty cigarette packs and butts in the living space. In the kitchen, another mountain, this time it was made of dirty dishes and takeout containers glued together with moldy grime and sludge that was once food. Over in the dining area, a literal minefield of turds. The dog that lived there would regularly poo on the floor, interestingly, the shots were evenly spaced. To inspect the bathroom, we had to cross the minefield, unfortunately, it was impossible to avoid stepping on the little doggie bombs so after a quick round of rock paper scissors, a loser was chosen to be sacrificed to the bathroom gods. As my poor co-worker walked across the kitchen, the sound of the puppy delights crunching like Cheetos under his feet began. The bathroom was a nightmare. We were informed that there was no running water before arriving but we didn't expect that to result in a third mountain. A mountain of poo filled garbage bags, human poop. The smell was unbearable, my co-worker sprinted to the front door and decorated the lawn with his lunch.
Having seen the entirety of the top floor, we decided to venture into the basement. For this, we put on boots and masks so we didn't have to struggle to breath. We made our way down the dark, musty stairwell and discovered about six inches of water waiting for us at the bottom. The reason the customer had no running water was because the main line broke and was pouring into the basement. Thing is, this had been going on for years, the water was pouring full bore into the basement for three years. The only reason it didn't start pouring out the windows is the drain in the laundry room. The basement walls had black mould up to and on the ceiling, and there was more mountains of recyclables and belongings all covered in mold and sludge.
So, the most disturbing thing I've seen in a customers house was the state of the house itself.
TL;DR: Went to a house, house had several hundred dollars worth of refundable recycling lying around and a load of mold and actual poo.
Not the type of tip you'd want to get.
Pizza delivery driver...
I delivered once to a caravan at the side of a sketchy drug house. The guy went to hand me some cash and accidentally handed me his baggie of ICE too. I handed it back and said something along the lines of 'woah just cash will do mate, better take that back'
Crack is wack.
GiphyI paint and flip apartments as a side job and I found a pipe. We kinda just threw it away, and just hoped there wasn't anything else. We wouldn't call the police or anything most likely nothing would have happened.
Sounds sketchy af.
Artist here, went to a house to do a mural. Guy had over 1000 crosses hanging on the walls of his house. Also most of the house was built by what seemed to be highly unskilled labor. The patron was a criminal defense lawyer that offered work on his compound instead of paying lawyer fees. So there were ex cons walking around building stuff around his place, they were nice enough people. But....yeah.
Also one of the rooms wasn't tall enough? So they were just digging down into the ground to make the room taller. Almost every room was just a WTF situation. Another oddity was that the entire compound's construction materials did not match with anything else it was made with since it was made with reclaimed materials. The owner is rich AF but I think ONLY because he might be the cheapest person alive on the planet. But the number of crosses was the most disturbing of all of it.
Kids these days.
Not me but my friend is a paramedic he got a call out to a stroke and when he and his partner arrived they were let in with police escort as they were taking her out of the house they happened to catch a glimpse of her son in his room playing video games, he turned back and looked at them and pushed the door shut.
Awkward
GiphyOk so I once worked as a pizza delivery guy right. One day I get an order like normal and drove to the address, the moment I took off my motorcycle helmet I heard what obviously was the sound of sex. I still had other places to go after this one so I knocked on the door politely, and they stopped for a few moments, but kept at it.
I was kinda mad, so I kept knocking, not very hard but I realized that the dude fell into my rhythm. So I knocked faster and faster and the dude went faster and faster until I heard an annoyed grunt. He the came and paid and when I asked about tip he yelled in my face, "NO TIP!"
That definitely isn't the right way to dispose of cats.
Not a personal experience, but my dad is a Electrician.
He goes to alot of crazy cat lady houses but this story definitely takes the cake.
He went to some old ladys house, immediately when he walked in the room smelled like complete piss, which was nothing out of the usual for cat ladys. My dad counted about ten or more, and that was just in the living room. He finished up his work and got up to tell the lady that he was done, when he looked over to see a big shelf just FULL of stuffed dead cats. It made him want to puke. I remember him so vividly ranting about his day and bringing up that story.
Ca-CAW.
Not me, but my dad and brother.
They install radon systems in people's houses. A lot of times they are contracted by a leasing agencies and such. The tenants know they're coming but truly don't care most of the time. They've seen everything from hoarding, to heavy drugs and paraphernalia, and fecal matter all over the house.
However, they have one particular house that absolutely topped everything. It was a kind of run down house from the outside but nothing too bad. And most of the rooms inside weren't anything terrible. But then they got to one of the bedrooms that immediately kind of set off their weird meters.
The first thing was that there was a GIANT shrine/altar that took up almost an entire wall. There were pictures and garlic and other off things hanging from it but that was about it. They kind of shrugged their shoulders and continued on working in the room. However, they kept hearing this rustling noise every couple of minutes and couldn't figure it out.
Until my brother sees this potato sack type bag under a chair in the room. He realizes that the noise is coming from there. So he goes over to the chair and squats down and sees that there is a full grown, live crow in this bag. As soon as he makes the connection, the crow absolutely starts losing it. They said they've never left a room or building so fast. They actually told the leasing agency that contracted then that they would do the other houses but not that one unless a member of their management team was with them.
Gross.
GiphyI used to do roofing work in Florida as a salesman. Sometimes if the damage was severe enough clients could have interior damages from leaks. My company was a roofing contractor and a general contractor so we always tried to sell the whole job and not just the roof.
One trailer I went to after a hurricane was just in absolute disgusting shape. There was a woman living there probably in her late 60's to early 70's and there was just stuff EVERYWHERE.
She had newspapers from 20 years ago, but that wasn't even close to all of it. The unit reeked of black mold and cat piss. Parts of her ceiling were collapsing, but not only the ceiling the FLOOR in this woman's house had holes everywhere. Where there wasn't holes the floor would sag with each step.
That home was by far the worst of any that I walked into for that job and I was terrified the entire time I was dealing with her. I left the company about a month after going out there but I'm sure we didn't even touch the property because it was beyond any sensible repair. I advised the owner to leave asap because of all the mold in the home but she wasn't having it.
That's a big ol' nope.
Went into a house to measure carpet. Owner (landlord) is reviewing drawing on iPad I'm holding when I look down at the kitchen table.
It is covered in ants.
Wow.
It's the things I didn't see, that scares me more than what I have seen.
I work in healthcare and we our unit does home visits daily, to help elderly and handicapped people get dressed, get fed, go to the toilet. That sort of thing, like all-inclusive within your own four walls.
An old lady in a wheelchair had put out a small plate of milk on the floor, when asked about it she explained that it was for the kittens. She did not have any kittens, no pets at all, in fact. I tried to shift her thoughts to something real, and didn't accuse her of hallucinating. Next day, a new plate. This time she's leaned over in her wheelchair to the point of almost falling out. I ask her what she's doing. She says the cats aren't drinking the milk. They are just smelling it. I ask where the cats come from "Under the kitchen counter, they seem to live there". The kitchen counter with 1 millimeter clearing between the floor.
The hallucinations continues and worsens. All of a sudden she sees a boy, a young kid. She asks what he wants, what his name is, where he's from. No answer. Never an answer. He starts sleeping on he couch. Later, in her bed. She asks him to leave, he just looks at her. When me, or my colleagues arrive she says he's hiding inside the bed cover. It gets so bad that she does not go to bed. She stays up all night because the bed "is taken, and he refuses to leave".
After days, she tells me she sees a small girl as well, just sometimes. Swinging her legs off the couch and sleeping in it, the cats are there too, she says. They are never mean, they are just scaring her. They are making her stay up all night, losing sleep because the bed and couch are always taken when she needs them. They follow her around the apartment.
One night, when going to bed, she sees a man in her bed, with the boy. I asked her if he talks to her. "No, but he wants me to leave. I can tell. He's there to protect the boy, so the boy can do as he pleases".
These events stretched a few weeks, sometimes she got to sleep. Sometimes not. The scariest part is not the hallucinations of an old, sick woman. The scariest part is that we have more residents in the same house, that we visit. Two days after the woman stopped seeing the children I spoke to another resident. She says she sees a small boy, and a girl. Usually during the day. They never speak. Always silent.
Oh no.
Installed blinds and was in a large 2 story house. It turned out to be a group home. When I went into the basement it was empty except for a large round bed, lights mounted on tripods, and an empty tripod. (I assume for the camera) This was early 2000s so making "home movies" was a little more of an involved process I figure.
So many questions raced through my head. Am I in danger? Who is being filmed? Where are they exits?
Oh dear god.
Heck no.
GiphyI sell cable door to door. Went to a run down section of a run down town, and these apartments were set up in what must have been an abandoned Motel. Everything there had a very motel-like atmosphere.
Anyways, I walk up to this one apartment and the blinds are wide open in the front window. Big fat guy in boxers and a tank top (wifebeater) on the couch watching TV. I ring the bell, he gets up to answer the door, and I notice the giant bottle of lube, and a glistening double headed sex toy.
While we were talking I asked if he lives with anyone. Family, girl/boyfriend, whatever.
"Nope! Just me and my dog!"
Ugh.
Smart move.
Not really meant for me but once when baby sitting I went exploring around the father's house and found a very expensive looking camera aiming at the neighbors bedroom window.
I stop babysitting for him right after.
Bad Naomi!
When my parents were young and living in a crappy apartment together, they had a pet rat named Naomi. On a particularly hot night, my parents decided to sleep on the floor rather than the bed because it was just too unbearably hot.
My dad wakes up with Naomi having escaped her cage and munching on his forehead (we think she tasted the sweat on his face and thought he was a tasty snack). They went into their bedroom and discovered that a figurine/doll they owned had its face chewed off.
My mom jokes that she got a "taste for face."
How sad.
I used to do some work for a woman who was a certified hoarder. She paid me by the hour to try and help sort out her mess. I'm not kidding, her front door would be wedged shut by the junk.
And when she cleared some space from the inside, you finally got some room to open the door up. The mess in her hallway was piled almost to the ceiling. She would crawl on all fours across the mess to reach her first floor bedroom. She couldn't even shower in her bathroom as that was also full of mess.
She was actually lovely person in many ways although clearly had many issues. I eventually has to stop helping her out. It was too much for me to bear. The stress of working in that kind of environment like that began to effect me. She was living in her own filth and she lived in pure squalor.
To this day I've never seen anything else like it. Sometimes when I came over the first job would for me buy her coffee and a sandwich. Because of the mess on the first floor she attached a bucket on a string and lowered it out of the window, and if then load up the bucket from outside on the ground floor and she'd pull it back up. It was hard to imagine how someone could live like that, incomprehensible.
That's comforting.
GiphyI'm a home visitor and a client had a dead mouse nailed to their outside wall of the house right at the front door. It was eye level and pointed outward as if jumping out of the air. They were creepy weirdos.
You learn something new every day.
Husband (delivery driver and furniture assembler) informs me he went in to a customers house and found sex swings and other such kinky accoutrements hanging from the ceiling in the garage.
Surprised you don't have a CDC suit already.
Electrician by trade. Working in low income apartments. The first floor of these buildings is always the mechanicals of the building. The boiler room, electrical room and storage areas etc are always cluttered like they are populated by hoarders. Moldy cardboard boxes, mouse poop everywhere, everything is sticky. Makes me wish I had a CDC chemical warfare suit.
Firefighters deal with much more than just fires.
Firefighter. Had a call for a smoke condition in the kitchen of a small ranch style house at 3:30am. We went, sure enough there was. We ask if everyone is out of the house, and the guy was like nope, but don't worry about it. We were like um no, we need everyone out there's a possibly fire in the walls.
Turns out this was a crack house. Being firefighters we couldn't really do anything but just get in and get our job done. We reassured him they won't get in trouble but he needs to take us to everybody or tell is where they're at. Oh boy. The mother was upstairs... Naked. Probably about 85 years old. Refused to get out. Eventually did but refused to get dressed. She started to hit on my asst chief as well.
Two other guys (assuming sons) were fighting in a living room. Needles everywhere. Mold everywhere. Torn up carpet, place smelled of dog piss but no animals in sight. The place was vial, and their kitchen wasn't much better but we've seen some nasty kitchens. Least to say job got done, we've back to the firehouse, hosed everyone down with a garden hose because we all felt gross, and stared wide eyed into our drinks for about an hour until the sun came up.
Bot crazy stories.
I can't help but decide between two things, one is my experience, one is for my teachers. Mine is simple, I was installing a GFI for my uncle, go into his panel and find a breaker for a room called the "porno room." He refuses to turn it off to find out which room it is.
My teachers is that he goes into this guy's house to replace an attic fan, glad he's walking through he looks at a kitchen table where he sees a huge stack of money and a Glock just lying on the table. He said he did the job and walked out, ghosting the man sitting there counting it.
Uhnhhhhh.....
I was doing door to door "sales" one summer for one of those "charities" where they want you to commit to monthly donations for a year. We were told not to go in peoples houses for safety reasons but we all knew you had to get inside to really solidify the donation sometimes. One afternoon a middle aged man said he was in the middle of cooking so if I wanted to give him my pitch I'd have to step inside. That may sound sketchy but that actually occurred a lot and the man was literally holding a bowl and whisk in his hand so I said sure and followed him to the kitchen.
I sat at the kitchen table and was focused on my pitch so I didn't really take in my surroundings at first. The man was moving around frantically from countertop to countertop stirring things. I then noticed there were giant bowls of cooked spaghetti noodles everywhere. And his "stirring" was actually him just whisking the various bowls of spaghetti noodles. None of it made sense.
After I said my closing line he sat down with me and immediately started telling me about his wife that recently left him for someone else. He went on for over 20 minutes without ever stopping or waiting for me to give any sort of response. Before I knew it I was following him upstairs because he wanted to show me his new computer.
It was the biggest desktop I've ever seen in my life and he put on a slideshow of photos of him and his ex wife. After a few minutes I realized it wasn't him in the photos. But he gave a backstory on each photo as if it were him. I don't remember how I finally got out of there and I can't remember if he ended up donating.
Praise be.
GiphyUse to service this Doctor's house regularly because they had 10 HVAC systems that were old.
They had a life size Jesus standing at the foot of their bed, facing the bed.
Never even met the guy, but he was very nice over the phone. The wife was an absolute hag though.
I used to deliver food for a small place that made things like pizza, chicken, wraps etc. I often had to go inside people's homes on request to deliver. There was one customer that all the other delivery people avoided when it came in. It was a massive delivery order, I don't remember what that amounts to any longer, but it must have been something like 5-6 pizzas, some chicken, etc. I arrive at a small mobile home, and knock on the door, and a voice asks me to enter.
I walk into the living room to a stench like french cheese baked in Parmesan with a side of cooking artichokes. There was the largest woman I've ever seen, sat in front of a sofa, covered in towels and other tattered cloths.
She was so massive I couldn't make eye contact etc. Apparently she had a deal with the food place, because she didn't pay, and as such didn't tip for the delivery. I became the delivery person that had to take that order each time for a couple weeks, until there was a kind of emergency there, and the fire department had to actually cut the mobile home apart to remove this woman. That stench stays with me today, ugh...
Seems a little excessive.
I used to work for a company that did control systems for hydronic heating systems in apartment buildings.
A co-worker of mine had to install temperate sensors in some of the units so that we could get a general idea of the heating profile in the building.
One of the tenants was convinced that he was installing a listening device. By the time he got back to the office, it had stopped reporting the temperature. Guy had taken a hammer to it.
That's what I call good timing.
GiphyNot my story but my dad's. He is a plumber, and he works on call for a rental agency.
One day he got called out to fix a sink in an apartment. The tenant, a woman in her early 20's let him in and he got to work.
As he went about the job, the woman kept talking to him, and it became increasingly obvious that not only was she drunk as a skunk at 2pm on a Wednesday, but that she was also trying her hardest to get into his pants.
Dad is trying to politely rebuff this woman, and finish the job as quickly as he can. He is freaking out that he will get in to trouble if he offends the tenant and she decides to flip the tables on him and call assault. Eventually she goes and sits on the couch, but continues to pose in a lewd nature until she finally passes out, legs akimbo, on full display.
Now Dad is finished fixing the sink but is also concerned about leaving this heavily intoxicated woman passed out by herself, but also doesn't want to go near her with a ten foot barge pole in her current state.
Luckily the situation was resolved when the boyfriend got home. Dad decided to be honest about his interaction with the woman; apparently the boyfriend just sighed and thanked him for fixing the sink, covered up his snoring girlfriend and let Dad out, apologising for the bother.
Dad noped it out of there and put in a formal report to the rental agency to cover his butt.
To this day I would love to know what went down once she woke up!
Wow, Mom.
I was a private tutor during my bachelor. Once I was in one house helping a student and the mother left some eggs in the oven. After 30 minutes teaching mathematics, I hear a small bang in the kitchen and starts smelling like burned awfulness. Some smoke comes out of the kitchen, I told my student to tell her mom and turn on the oven off.
Her mother was taking a nap, and after waking her up she went again to sleep like nothing was burning in her kitchen.
Happy cows come from this guy's house.
GiphyI work as a cleaner for the elderly and disabled around town (so that they are able to keep living in their own house instead of a retirement home or whatever). There's one particular guy whose house was something else. Not disturbing, but definitely weird. The dude had a thing for cows, and almost everything in his house was cow-themed. Cups, plates, pillows, paintings, bed sheets, chairs, soap holders, curtains and I think even the toilet brush.
He's a pretty chill dude though, and I think his cow collection gives him a bit of purpose in life. Go cow-man.
Whoops.
My father in law is a home inspector. He ran across a sex dungeon. He is not a enlightened man and made some crass comments about the same sex couple that owned it. Nothing outright hateful but they were slobs and the house was a wreck but their sexual activity area was the only semi clean area in the home.
Sounds disgusting.
I do estimates for home improvement. Go in about 1000 houses a year. I have seen some STUFF. The most notable was a gentleman's house for window replacements. We chatted outside because he said he has "5 hounds that will howl the entire time" once I made it into the house I found out that he just lets them piss and shit EVERYWHERE and did NOTHING about it. Made it a foot into the door before I gagged and left the house. Made some excuse about how I didn't need to actually be outside. The smell was so bad that when he opened his garage door I wasn't able to be within 50 feet of the house.
Now I have been to some houses that smell and I have been able to stick it out for the sale. This....this wasn't worth it.