Redditor TreyTheEyeball wanted to hear how great friendships came to an end and asked everyone:
"What made you unfriend/hate your best friend?"
The less friends the better.
Cheaper for Christmas.
Punch
Punch Punching GIF by The X FactorGiphy"Realized he wasn't just roasting me as friends do but was treating me like a human punching bag in front of other ppl to make jokes."
CaptainDeadpool79
I have never looked back...
"He was a pathological liar, manipulative and told all of my most trusted secrets to everyone because he wanted to feel powerful and like he controlled me. Haven’t spoken a word in 5 years and I have never looked back."
rojarty
"Had a friend just like that. Eventually tried to drive a wedge between my fiancé, me, and all of our friends. Our closest friends kind of let me in on what was going on behind the scenes, which we could already tell, and I eventually booted him from my wedding altogether."
"10 yrs later I was going to be moving back into the state he lived in, and I reached out to see if he’d grown up. He apologized for everything, owning it all seemingly. Then a few hours later informed me he was a realtor and to let him know once I’m house hunting. Never spoke to him again after that."
Vivid_Designer395
15 Years Gone
"I let her and her little dog move in with me and rent a room while she got back on her feet. It was a double wide trailer and she had her own bathroom across from her room. She was nasty, dirty and a drunk. I knew she liked to drink, but not like what I experienced."
"She would leave used tampons on the bedroom floor, plates of half eaten food pushed under the bed and liquor bottles and beer cans all over the place. She would lock her dog out of her room so she could sleep in or nap and it would terrorize my animals."
"I found out from a neighbor that she would sit out on the back porch drinking and instead of coming in to use the restroom she would relieve herself in my little patch of backyard at all hours of the night (she admitted that she did this). The last straw was when I came home from a shopping day out with my daughter and she saw the purchases and said 'well I guess you don’t need my rent then.' A 15 year friendship ruined."
HiRollerette
Damn Craig!
"I was trying to quit weed. I asked him 1 thing. If you wanna hang out this week while i'm in the early stages could you not bring any over. He FREAKED out. Kicked up a massive fuss about how I should have willpower. Finally I said fine just don't come over for a couple of weeks while I get my head straight. So he apologised said he was wrong. Came over. Sparked up a pre rolled joint 2 minutes in. F**k you Craig."
17FeretsAndaPelican
Seriously?!
Tiffany Mitchell Idk GIF by Indiana FeverGiphy"He got my gf pregnant and congratulated me as a new dad at birth. Didn't figure it out until a few years later."
crank1off
This is all a mess of scandal.
Different Sides
"He started being an a**hole for no reason, I swear. One day he just started to be mean towards me, even to the point that he insulted me many times. I still think about how we went from being 'best friends' to ignoring each other. What did I do to him? It's like he became a totally different person from one day to another."
Axdan_8
4 to about 12...
"I wonder if childhood best friends are more a result of proximity, rather than affinity. It seems more common to drift apart once your lives take off."
achakapia
"I’ve come to realize this too. My best friend from age 4 to about 12 was really just because our parents hung out we lived close and once we got older had much different interests and proximity and in the early grade school years had mostly boys in our classes and we were the only girls that knew each other for several years."
Twist_Glass
Things got hard...
"Drugs, we'd been neighbors and friends since we were a few months old."
"At college we met new people as you do. We'd always had other friendship groups outside of each other so I didn't really know her new friends. She started off smoking weed with them, not my thing but pretty harmless in the grand scheme of things."
"Eventually she started taking harder drugs when we'd go out. It was always me that got her home safe."
"It just got to the point where I'd had enough, I couldn't watch her destroy herself like that. I tried to get her help but she wouldn't take it. So I just left, cut all ties and moved away (the move was planned already). No idea what happened to her or if she managed to turn it around, I hope so."
Educational-Soil732
HER!
Text Chat GIF by IlizaGiphy"She only called or texted to brag or because she needed something. Everything was about her, all the time."
that-1-chick-u-know
Not every relationship is meant to be forever.
Be at peace about it.
Redditor unkunk wanted to hear ALL the tea we had to spill.
"What is something you are aware of about your friend that they don’t know you know?"
You can't hear any of mine! But let's hear what Reddit had to say.
Infidels
Illustration Couple GIF by Jacqueline Jing LinGiphy"That they are cheating on their partner and their partner is cheating on them."
BackgroundAdvice1
"I want to know how it ends. Keep me posted. I'm genuinely curious."
Kreezy_Genie
The Family Tree
"He has an older brother who was arrested for drug and weapons possession. He's told me he has no siblings."
pumpkinspicenation
"Oof. I feel this. My older brother has an extensive history of drug abuse, violence, abusive behavior, severe mental illness, and legal issues. I haven’t spoken to him in years. For a long time, I lied and told people I didn’t have any siblings because it was too painful to talk about. I tell people the truth now, but it took a long time to get to that point."
emshlaf
Smiles
"Was passing by an odd part of town, and saw my friend's van parked near a cafe. Had to be his; two-toned, covered in stickers some of them for his band(s) past and present. I wrote an unsigned note saying 'The Universe Smiles Upon You' (yes, I'm a Khruangbin fan) and left it under his windshield wiper. To this day he has it stuck to his fridge, no idea who penned it, and each time I see it I have a cheeky smirk to myself."
JGAllswell
Happy Wedding
"Oh I have something I’ve never shared before. At my friend's wedding, her mom and I got drunk and smoked freshly rolled cigars outside. Her mom confided in me that my friends father wasn’t a good man. It’s weird because her dad is the greatest guy - spoils her and her brothers, spoils his wife. He’s also just a great human."
"I tell her this and she says, nope, that’s stepdad. She packed herself and my friend up when my friend was just a baby and left the country they had lived in and moved here. My friend has never once let on that her dad isn’t her biodad. She’s also never said her mom was married before. So that’s a secret I’ll just leave here."
sometimesiteach
So Sneaky
Chris Tucker Smoking GIFGiphy"I use to have a couple that bought weed from me separately. Neither of them wanted the other to know that they smoked. So they asked me not to tell the other. It was hilarious."
TheHippieOne
Why not smoke together? Lovers who smoke together....
Facade
Schitts Creek Comedy GIF by CBCGiphy"Despite the social media addiction to showing off their glamorous life, they’re broke, in massive debt, and completely dependent on her parents to get by."
WanderingRaindog
Santa Muerte...
"I am aware that he’s a drag queen. My fiancé likes to watch drag shows, so me and her go to one every once in a while. Upon going to one I remember seeing a great act by a queen with a distinctive tattoo of Santa Muerte on their left leg. Weeks later my friend invites me to a gym session since he wanted me to teach him how to deadlift. Well, he was wearing shorts, and you know what I see? Santa Muerte on his left leg."
"We are gym buds and then I become more familiar with him. I know he’s In a bit of a conservative household so I try not to bring up the convo since maybe it’s not him. Out of curiosity I take a mental note of his other tattoos. Then see him again on the stage weeks later and realize, yep, all of them match."
"I know his secret, but it doesn’t change my opinion on him. I’m tempted to support him directly, but I don’t want him to get scared. So when I did see him, I always leave a cash tip."
DecrepitGoose
“sleep thru anything?”
"That he wet the bed until he was 14. His mom and aunt got chatty over tea and started talking about it while I was hanging around waiting for him to get ready."
thelaughingpear
"There’s a decent chance this is due to a sleep disorder which he may still have. The people outgrow the wetting the bed but the sleep disorder persists."
"The people do not go into REM sleep. They go to a deeper sleep thus the not waking to urinate. Does the friend fall asleep in the day, riding in the car, seems to be able to 'sleep thru anything?' There is treatment. Maybe you could hint they get a sleep study if some of those other symptoms are there."
mlperiwinkle
Scars
"That I know he’s drinking again, and it’s not just a couple beers here and there. He hides it because he knows the repercussions if goes back to being a full blown drunk again. I will walk away. I went through hell watching him self destruct the last time, and was still there when he got sober. I supported him the whole way, but swore I’d never do it again. That s**t left scars."
SexyWampa
Hey Fam
Sad Hide And Seek GIF by NickelodeonGiphy"That the reason why my friend's relationship came to a sudden end is because he and his gf were really close in the family tree and not because of other things."
sasksasquatch
Missed Connections
"My best friend wanted to have sex with me in high school. A mutual friend told me later on. I actually felt the same way at the same time, but we weren't aware of the other's feelings."
spasamsd
Open Marriage
"Slept over one night in my friend's basement drunkenly. Woke up in the AM to hear his parents loudly arguing because his dad was trying to push for an open marriage. They divorced about a year later."
Guns_57
Cop Confession
"I know their dad died from erotic asfixiation. I never told anyone. I knew the cop that was first on the scene. He told me what happened and I told him this was our high school friends dad. He agreed to keep it on the down low."
Damantinomies
Shower
"I saw one of my closest gal friends naked back in high school. We were hanging out at her house, and she stepped away for a while. We were listening to music on the computer in her living room, but she had been gone for like 20 minutes. I went to look for her, and saw her wet naked body in the reflection of the tall mirror in her room. She went to take a shower apparently. She didn't notice me, and no, I wasn't a creep, I didn't stare at her, or anything. I, of course, was incredibly embarrassed, ran back to the computer, and I couldn't look at her for the rest of the evening. I never said a word about it... until about last year, I think. We were getting drinks, and I told her about it. She busted out laughing, and we giggled about it all night. I held that secret for like 14/15 years."
Dumb_and_confused
Well, that is a lot to process! Thanks for sharing.
Do you have similar experience to share? Let us know in the comments below.
Redditor crabpinchingmyanus wanted to hear about the moments when we all begin to fall short of fidelity.
They asked:
"Redditors, where does cheating in a relationship start for you?"
You always know when it's wrong. At least I always did. That's why is called cheating.
Plotting
"The sneaking around. The second you start plotting to do something behind my back. You're violating the trust of the relationship."
Warkitz
Sheila Canning Love GIF by Neighbours (Official TV Show account)GiphyIntent
"Honestly it's about intentions more than anything. If my SO started pursuing someone romantically that's cheating - doesn't matter if it's lovey dovey texting or f**king. If my SO was at a party and a drunk person kissed him suddenly against his wishes, that's not cheating."
"At the end of the day it comes down to them wanting to be with another person and they aren't being honest about it. The polite thing to do, even though it's painful and hard and sad, is to break up. Breaking up is never crappier than cheating."
NowHeres_HumanMusic
Tests
"If you would be unwilling to tell your partner about an interaction, then it's probably time to start thinking about what you're doing."
Teafairy6767
"Yeah I think the two basic litmus tests are..."
"1- Would you tell them/do it in front of them?"
"2- Would you be okay with it if they did the same thing?"
"If the answer is yes to both, it’s probably fine. If it’s no to either, then at minimum you’re on dangerous ground."
audigex
Off Limits
"It depends on what each couple would consider to be off limits. A good guide is if you're doing something you would hide from your partner or wouldn't do it if they were in the room with you, then that's cheating. It can range from having sex with someone else, to simply flirting."
j_neutrus
Omissions
"Lies. It always starts with lies. Be it texts or snaps, if one of us have to lie or hide, it's wrong and should not happen."
notyourusuallady
A Lie Is A LieGiphyIt's always a lie in the beginning. Don't lie... it's a Commandment.
Upon Reflection
"If you wouldn't want your partner to know, it's cheating. I wouldn't flirt with someone else in front of my partner, so I don't flirt with people when he's not around either."
kellogg888
Pondering Anthony Anderson GIF by BETGiphyactions/feelings/thoughts
"As cheesy as it sounds, it starts with your motive, intention, and conscience. I think there's a clear cut difference between physical cheating and mental/emotional cheating, but it all relates to your honest motive, intention, and conscience. For example, there isn't anything inherently wrong with texting with another person if you are married or dating."
"But if you know in your heart that you are texting or engaging in conversation that makes you feel guilty or it would make your partner upset, you may be doing something wrong, even if you technically did not cheat. If at any point you are justifying your actions or defending your actions/feelings/thoughts from a technical perspective, you may be at the start of doing something wrong."
orange_cuse
That's cheating...
"Cheating starts at lying, even by omission. I am okay with private conversations, meeting people she wants to meet, going away on business trips or going out and coming back late at night. But lying to me about it or about what happened? Or simply not telling me something I don't want to hear? That's cheating."
"So..."
"'I will go out tonight, to see people you don't know and talk about things you don't care about': we are in the clear, it is fine."
"'I saw X and Y last night at their place': if I know for sure that it is not true, then there is some cheating involved."
"It only works if you are not a creep, or even jealous. There needs to be mutual trust and respect. When trust and respect are gone, the relationship is gone too."
pleasedontPM
Happy Birthday
"The intent. For me, an ex of mine that would later cheat on me started a tinder profile in which she claimed she "just wanted to find friends" and she certainly found quite a few of them. Obviously, she didn't just want friends. It could be as small as reaching out to an ex to say happy birthday, but most people have the intent to do something well before it is executed."
isnoe
The Grey
"If there’s a grey area, it’s cheating. If you know they will be upset, it’s cheating. If you have to hide it/lie/omit details. It’s cheating."
SufficientBug5598
Jennifer Aniston Friends GIFGiphyThere is never a good reason to cheat. Once you know it's starting... fess up.
I have never been engaged. I hear it's a hoot. Until it's not...
HIM
Peace Out Goodbye GIF by NETFLIXGiphy"He relapsed on drugs and then told me all of our relationship problems were my mental health."
User Deleted
Naked
"Caught her butt naked with some random dude when we were supposed to meet up at a friend's home for a get together and I caught her in the spare bedroom while everyone else was hanging out and drinking, queue floodgates and find out she cheated on me up to double digit times and all the people at that friends get together knew she cheated on me often. Cut off all my friends and traumatized me for a long time but I’m better now."
PartyYoung8
“wait it out”
"He was my best friend and I really enjoyed our relationship. Honestly I hold no bad feelings for him. But he had a tendency to avoid communication when angry/sad/upset. At first it seemed like a minor problem I could adjust to but the passive aggressiveness and silent treatment(that he could manage for days on end) started to get to me."
"I felt like it was a form of control. He never accepted my apologies, never apologized himself, and would just 'wait it out' until he was ready to talk again. Then he’d just skip the fight and talk normal like it didn’t happen. So basically no issue we ever had was actually addressed and I was afraid to ever cause a confrontation because I knew it would be unresolved."
"It made me feel like I couldn’t fully trust him and the idea of doing that for life stopped be appealing."
milkvamp
Mind. Blown.
"I was engaged for a hot second when I was 19. I came home to find him doing another girl. I immediately moved out and then found out via facebook that the girl was 4 months pregnant with his baby. He proposed to me when his baby mama was 3 months pregnant and he knew she was pregnant with his kid. It just blows my mind lol."
is_this_funny2_u
Thief
julie newmar catwoman GIFGiphy"She decided her future was in a different country, took our savings with her."
RolandHockingAngling
Why is love so elusive? Why can't people be honest?
“what did you do today?”
Dog Talking GIFGiphy"She wouldn’t tell me where she was all day one day. And I’m not the controlling type. But she wouldn’t even answer an innocuous 'what did you do today?' question. By the time this all came to a head, it turned out she was on a date with another guy."
f0gax
Breakdown
"She went through a terrible, just truly terrible mental breakdown, leading to an eventual diagnosis. I did everything I could to keep her together, but it wasn't enough. At the end of it all I told her that I was going to stick it out, I'd do my best to work with her, but she HAD to listen to her doctors."
"She had to take all the advice she was given, she had to take her meds, she had to accept she had a mental illness and she had to deal with it. And she didn't. So when she lost her mind, for the umpteenth time, and told me to get out and not come back, I took her up on her offer."
"Some people call me an a**hole for that decision. But I'm not going to subject myself to 50 years of abuse and misery on behalf of someone who won't do the first thing to take care of themselves."
shaidyn
9 Days
"When I found out he saw me merely as a way to get into the US and as a meal ticket. Called off the wedding 9 days before it was supposed to happen. Best decision I ever made. More than a year later, he contacted me and attempted to blackmail me, not knowing I was by that time working as a defense contractor with a security clearance, which meant I had to report the attempt to the FBI, thus getting him AND his relatives in the US into serious trouble."
FlourChild1026
Alone
"I had a boyfriend while teaching abroad in Korea for a few years. We were planning to get married and he was going to come back to US with me. At the last second he told me he couldn’t do it and I came back alone. He’s great and I love him still but we just want different things for our future."
FredrickTheSeal
"gift for me"
Deadpool Venom GIF by MarvelGiphy"He spent an entire paycheck, MY paycheck, on Pop Figures. As a 'gift for me' when they were all his favorite characters. Took a hard look at how often this type of thing was happening and realized I didn't want to raise an adult baby."
TheTastySpoonicorn
When in Florida
"I caught him in two major lies as his mental health declined. He turned to alcohol and became verbally abusive. I told myself 'the next time it happens I’m out' and it did… at our friends wedding in Florida (I’m from Canada). The wedding party saw the fallout from the fight and a bridesmaid I met an hour earlier told me he cheated at the bachelor party months earlier."
"After seeing his abusive nature she decided that I needed to know the truth. The cherry on top was that the day he cheated was the day I bought my wedding dress. I know I dodged a major bullet but that’s the thing about emotional abuse. It’s insidious. Deep down you know it’s wrong but you also doubt whether you’re being a good partner and abandoning someone in need."
"I’ve moved on and am MUCH MUCH happier. I wake up everyday and am thankful it’s over. I’m almost done my PhD as well, so that’s lovely! Classic 'I went to sleep and this blew up overnight' but thank y’all so much for your kind words and awards. I hope you all have a beautiful day!"
disco_nap_
A Pariah
"I was going to be the black sheep of her very religious family for the rest of my life. I'm imperfect, but no more than most. I just don't believe what their family believed and even though I won her affections and spent years trying to earn trust with everyone; I was always going to be a pariah and it weighed too much on me."
Dangercakes13
Facing Life
"He broke the first engagement. We were very young and he broke it off because his friends didn't like me and convinced him to break up. We got back together a bit later and resumed the engagement like idiots. But with a new ring, cuz that made it better somehow."
"6 months later I broke it off because it dawned on me that if he's willing to dump me because his buddies don't like me, what's marriage or babies going to be like? My mom had told me once that love was rough when the money is tight and they turn the lights off, will you feel strong enough to get through it with them."
"I broke it off for good when I realized there's no way I saw him as my partner I wanted to face life with. When things got hard, he wasn't going to be anything but a child about it and I would be alone. He was engaged and married sometime later and ended up exactly as I thought. They divorced and he was remarried in a year, divorced in another 2 or 3. He was in love with the idea of being married , not actual marriage. Not a crazy drama story but that's it."
I-PUSH-THE-BUTTON
Just a Little
Audrey Whitby Reaction GIF by AwesomenessTVGiphy"He tapped my phone (landline) and put a tracker on my car, and spyware on my laptop. Oh, and cut my brakes. Just a little."
salmonsashimiplease
Dodged...
"I was fresh out of high school and just found out I was pregnant. Getting married seemed like a good next step until he became extremely abusive. Took me a while but I finally got away from him for good. He ended up going to prison for murder a few years later. Dodged a bullet with that one."
Nicoldhearted
Future Bleak
"We got together in our early 20s and engaged a few years later. I called it off when I realized we didn't share a vision for the future, and I wasn't willing to compromise or ask her to. Hurt like hell but I'm so glad I did it - I don't actually think I wanted to be with her forever, it just kind of happened before I knew I could shape my life and be happy There were lots of other reasons we wouldn't have worked, looking back. But that one was enough."
thefirstcoconut
True Colors
"He changed a lot after we were engaged, not pulling his weight financially or around the house. Put an offer on a house without even asking me that was about an hour away from where it made sense for us to live (my job, my family etc), not to mention I had never even seen the home before he made the offer."
"Told me that he didn’t want to have children ever (first time I was hearing of that in 3.5 years) because if we were to divorce he’d have to pay me child support. His true colors came out the last 3 months of our relationship for sure. Definitely dodged a huge bullet with that one!!"
steelergirly7
Oh Hell No
Hell GIF by Steve Harvey TVGiphy"When I met their family. No way in hell was that going to be the rest of my life."
Negative_Increase975
Choose your regret...
"She changed in ways I didn’t like after I proposed. I brought it up on numerous occasions. She mocked me, denied it, and made lame excuses. I have one divorce under my belt already. I can’t go through that again. ETA: I’m eternally grateful this behavior shift happened after the proposal and not the wedding."'"
soggywaffle69
"OP, I’m guessing you’re asking because this is relevant in you’re life. No one here can help you figure it out, but there is a saying I like: 'Choose your regret.'"
soggywaffle69
Sometimes when it's over... it's over.
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