History is a subject that requires a ton of memorization, and sometimes it's hard to get all of the facts straight. This history teacher compiled all of the incorrect responses to history test questions over the years into one hilarious piece of rewritten history!
Thank you to Richard Lederer for being the best teacher imaginable!
The inhabitants of Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of the dessert are cultivated by irritation.
The Egyptians built the Pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube. The Pyramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain.
The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked "Am I my brother's son?" God asked Abraham to sacrifice Issac on Mount Montezuma. Jacob, son of Issac, stole his brother's birthmark. Jacob was a patriarch who brought up his twelve sons to be partriarchs, but they did not take to it. One of Jacob's sons, Joseph, gave refuse to the Israelites.
Pharaoh forced the Hebrew slaves to make bread without straw. Moses led them to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Philatelists, a race of people who lived in Biblical times. Solomon, one of David's sons, had 500 wives and 500 porcupines.
Without the Greeks, we wouldn't have history. The Greeks invented three kinds of columns - Corinthian, Doric and Ironic. They also had myths.
A myth is a female moth.
One myth says that the mother of Achilles dipped him in the River Stynx until he became intolerable. Achilles appears in "The Illiad", by Homer. Homer also wrote the "Oddity", in which Penelope was the last hardship that Ulysses endured on his journey. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.
Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice.
They killed him.
Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock.
In the Olympic Games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java. The reward to the victor was a coral wreath. The government of Athen was democratic because the people took the law into their own hands. There were no wars in Greece, as the mountains were so high that they couldn't climb over to see what their neighbors were doing. When they fought the Parisians, the Greeks were outnumbered because the Parisians had more men.
Eventually, the Ramons conquered the Geeks.
More hilariously wrong historical facts on the next page!
History knows them as the Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long. At Roman banquets, the guests wore garlic in their hair. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March killed him because they thought he was going to be made king. Nero was a cruel tyrany who would torture his poor subjects by playing the fiddle to them.
Then came the Middle Ages. King Alfred conquered the Dames, King Arthur lived in the Age of Shivery, King Harlod mustarded his troops before the Battle of Hastings, Joan of Arc was cannonized by George Bernard Shaw, and the victims of the Black Death grew boobs on their necks.
Finally, the Magna Carta provided that no free man should be hanged twice for the same offense.
In midevil times most of the people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the time was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verse and also wrote literature. Another tale tells of William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son's head.
The Renaissance was an age in which more individuals felt the value of their human being. Martin Luther was nailed to the church door at Wittenberg for selling papal indulgences. He died a horrible death, being excommunicated by a bull.
It was the painter Donatello's interest in the female nude that made him the father of the Renaissance. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented the Bible. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper.
The government of England was a limited mockery. Henry VIII found walking difficult because he had an abbess on his knee. Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success. When Elizabeth exposed herself before her troops, they all shouted "hurrah."
Then her navy went out and defeated the Spanish Armadillo.
More wrong yet hilarious history mistakes on the next page!
The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespear. Shakespear never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He lived in Windsor with his merry wives, writing tragedies, comedies and errors. In one of Shakespear's famous plays, Hamlet rations out his situation by relieving himself in a long soliloquy. In another, Lady Macbeth tries to convince Macbeth to kill the King by attacking his manhood. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet.
Writing at the same time as Shakespear was Miquel Cervantes. He wrote "Donkey Hote". The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote "Paradise Lost." Then his wife dies and he wrote "Paradise Regained."
During the Renaissance, America began.
Christopher Columbus was a great navigator who discovered America while cursing about the Atlantic. His ships were called the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Fe. Later the Pilgrims crossed the Ocean, and that was called the Pilgrim's Progress. When they landed at Plymouth Rock, they were greeted by Indians, who came down the hill rolling their war hoops before them. They carried porposies on their back. Many of the Indian heroes were killed, along with their cabooses, which proved very fatal to them. The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the settlers. Many people died and many babies were born.
Captain John Smith was responsible for all this.
One of the causes of the Revolutionary Wars was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their pacels through the post without stamps. During the War, Red Coats and Paul Revere was throwing balls over stone walls. The dogs were barking and the peacocks crowing.
Finally, the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis.
Delegates from the original thirteen states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin had gone to Boston carrying all his clothes in his pocket and a loaf of bread under each arm.
He invented electricity by rubbing cats backwards and declared "a horse divided against itself cannot stand."
Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.
More incorrect historical facts on the next page!
George Washington married Martha Curtis and in due time became the Father of Our Country. Then the Constitution of the United States was adopted to secure domestic hostility.
Under the Constitution the people enjoyed the right to keep bare arms.
Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. When Lincoln was President, he wore only a tall silk hat.
He said, "In onion there is strength."
Abraham Lincoln wrote the Gettysburg address while traveling from Washington to Gettysburg on the back of an envelope. He also signed the Emasculation Proclamation, and the Fourteenth Amendment gave the ex-Negroes citizenship. But the Clue Clux Clan would torcher and lynch the ex-Negroes and other innocent victims. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. The believed assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposed insane actor.
This ruined Booth's career.
Meanwhile in Europe, the enlightenment was a reasonable time. Voltare invented electricity and also wrote a book called "Candy". Gravity was invented by Issac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the Autumn, when the apples are flailing off the trees.
Bach was the most famous composer in the world, and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian and half English. He was very large.
Bach died from 1750 to the present.
Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.
France was in a very serious state. The French Revolution was accomplished before it happened. The Marseillaise was the theme song of the French Revolution, and it catapulted into Napoleon.
During the Napoleonic Wars, the crowned heads of Europe were trembling in their shoes.
More ridiculously funny historical mistakes on the next page!
Then the Spanish gorrilas came down from the hills and nipped at Napoleon's flanks. Napoleon became ill with bladder problems and was very tense and unrestrained.
He wanted an heir to inherent his power, but since Josephine was a baroness, she couldn't bear him any children.
The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West.
Queen Victoria was the longest queen.
She sat on a thorn for 63 years. Her reclining years and finally the end of her life were exemplatory of a great personality.
Her death was the final event which ended her reign.
The nineteenth century was a time of many great inventions and thoughts.
The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick Raper, which did the work of a hundred men. Samuel Morse invented a code for telepathy.
Louis Pastuer discovered a cure for rabbis.
Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the "Organ of the Species". Madman Curie discovered radium. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx Brothers.
The First World War, cause by the assignation of the Arch Duck by a surf, ushered in a new error in the anals of human history.
All we can say is these additions sure make history WAY more interesting!!
We're always told to "respect our elders." In truth, many of our elders are wonderful and understanding people. Others are definitely not.
Many young people are very frustrated by older generations. Technology has taken its toll. The job market does not resemble anything that it used to be. The realities of the climate crisis continue to compound. Geopolitical events are raising tensions. Global inequality is at an all-time high.
Given all this, how can young people be expected to bridge the gap between their philosophies and those of people much older than them? People shared their frustrations with us after Redditor baker109123 asked the online community,
"Younger people are Reddit, what are you tired of hearing from older generations?"
"As a 29-year-old..."
"As a 29 year old, tired of older people telling me I’ll understand joint pain, tiredness when I’m older. I’m disabled and chronically ill. I have had bad joints since birth. Like it’s great that all your health problems are a result of your age but mine have been around and will worsen because of that."
It's true. Some of the older people don't understand that those younger are just as capable of being in the same (or worse) chronic pain then them.
"My mom and I got into a fight over housing affordability. " Your father (55)and I (53) worked very hard to afford this house (175k) and you make more than we did at the time we bought (1992)."
"The house now is worth about 1.5m, my mom didn't work and my dad made 100k/year. I make 150k and houses in my price range are 600k 1hr+ away from where i want to be and less than half size with less than half the lot."
Your parents bought their house at the best possible time. The income to house price ratio hadn't been that low for like a century and now is exponentially worse.
"I have more life experience than you…” then proceeds to go on an emotionally stunted rant based on their own personal bias due to trauma they refuse to process because “they know best.”
Oh, don't remind me. How many times have I heard that one?
"I am 44 but I still feel like I am young. I am tired of hearing pretty much everything my generation says. I don't understand when everybody else just suddenly morphed into their parents."
I am younger than that and am still wondering when some of the people around me morphed. Did this happen overnight and I just happened to miss it?
"Literally any and all job advice."
"Literally any and all job advice. Sorry, Deborah, but you've worked the same unionized position for 30+ years. The number of valuable insights you can give me about the modern labor landscape numbers somewhere between diddly and squat."
Been there. This is so frustrating. The job market is nothing like it was before!
"I'm a restaurant worker..."
"They're so judgemental and rude. I'm a restaurant worker and I swear young people are way more polite and easy going while older people have zero patience (even though they're the ones who are already retired), oftentimes make racist, sexist, homophobic and bodyshaming comments and still act like they're above the younger generation simply because they've been alive for longer."
The respect they demand after such behavior is wild as well.
"I'm tired of people complaining about how younger people are terrible as though they weren't the ones that raised those younger people to be what they are."
Ah, logic! A rarity in this world, it seems.
"Then promptly ask us..."
"How we can't fix anything ourselves. Then promptly ask us to fix their WiFi, set up their new phone and figure out why their computer is running slow. We can do plenty, we just have a different skill set!"
This is an excellent point. Everyone brings different skills to the table. Why is this so hard to understand?
"I hate how we've gone..."
"I hate how we've gone from me getting facebook as a teenager and my parents being like "DON'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU SEE ON THE INTERNET" to them sending me "medical research" from unverified/unreputable sources."
And then they get very angry once they're fact checked. Who'd have thought?
"Buddy, I've been working..."
"Pull yourself up by your boot straps and work harder."
"Buddy, I’ve been working 60+ hours a week and prices keep going up and my pay is not and I actually cannot afford to change jobs, change my living situation, buy a more fuel efficient car, or go to college. There actually is no out."
"There is no work harder and I’ll make it. I’m literally in the poverty trap. I’m slowly making my way out of it but it’s going to be a long time unless some other opportunity magically appears. College isn’t the price of a McDouble anymore old man."
Ain't this the truth. Sadly, many people are in this people and far too few people understand that.
It's very clear that there is an enormous generational divide. The difference between those who grew up with the internet and those who did not is massive. We could all strive to have a little more empathy.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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Growing up, my parents insisted that I take my brother with me everywhere I go. The idea was that he, as a boy, would offer some form of protection.
The reality was that all he did was make my life miserable and create dangerous situations.
Now, this isn't his fault. This is 100% on our family, their built-in patriarchal B.S. (sorry latin people, you know I'm right - we have so far left to go) and their refusal to believe in medicine.
My brother was younger than me (by 5 years, that's a good chunk during childhood) and smaller than me, but because he was a boy he was automatically granted more freedom.
He could go out alone with his friends, I could not. He could date, I could not. He could do things outside of school and church, like martial arts classes. I was only allowed school activities or church activities.
What made the whole thing worse, though, was that his younger age and diagnosed but untreated ADHD meant that not only was he not "protecting" me when they would force him to come as my chaperone - he was creating problems.
He was only about 10, his ADHD meant he had poor impulse control and would climb facades on buildings, or rocks, or trees, or the sides of movie theaters. I would often have to grab him before he darted out into traffic, etc. I basically didn't go out or have a social life until college because of my parents rules and obsession with church (six days a week is incredibly unhealthy.)
And no, it didn't keep me out of trouble. It just made me a better liar who felt no remorse for the lies.
When your over-reactions and "Christification" of everything remove honesty as a possibility for anything, you make lying the only form of communication possible.
Reddit user AlePiga asked:
"People who grew up with strict parents, what’s the dumbest rule you had to live with?"
Strict rules clearly didn't work out well for these people:
"Rotating curfew types so none of them were overused."
"Today is the homework curfew, no going out until its all done AND checked (extra time wasted) Oh, no homework today? well dinner is at 4pm and you cant go out after dinner."
"..And today is the darkness curfew, which is around 4pm, not sunset or actual darkness, just when sunset is kinda starting. Worse during winter months."
"..And today is mom's workout class, you have to stay late at school or get taken along, and no you cant be dropped at home even if its on the way."
"NO you cant go out if you take the bus and get home alone, you have to stay there because nobody else is home yet. Whats that, no homework? well I've suddenly decided you need to read more, you are staying in."
"Yeah Mom was a super control freak for no reason."
"We couldn't drink soda out of the can in public because only 'common people' did that."
"I never understood it as a kid. I'm still not 100% sure why my Mum had this rule."
"As an adult I thought it's perhaps to do with people drinking alcohol outside. I asked her as an adult and her response was 'Well it is common looking' so I still don't know, honestly!"
"At cookouts and parties we have a small town rural District judge who absolutely refuses drinks in cups in public, and only allows himself and his family to drink from cans."
"He said it was about the implication of holding a cup, where the substance inside could be construed as an alcoholic drink."
"Such fun to have them around."
-Euphoric_SplinterLittle Rascals Reaction GIFGiphy
Seeing Other People
"I couldn't see the same person multiple times in a row."
"I had to hang out with a different friend before I could see the same friend again. I still have 0 idea what the logic there was, it was the rule for ANY friend I saw consistently."
"Concerned about you dating maybe? Or just being a control freak."
"Honestly they did this with any gender of friend so I'm leaning towards the control option"
"My phone had to be downstairs and plugged in in our kitchen, my parents had to know my password, and could read or open my phone at any time."
"I used to stay after school for an extra 15-20 minutes before headed home. In many cases since I’d 'Already gotten to see my friends' I wouldn’t be able to hang out when they went to movies, a friends house, etc."
"When I got a girlfriend, suddenly I wasn’t to be trusted with anything."
"I had to go straight home and could no longer stay at friends houses overnight. I was 18 and had my own car."
"I also got my phone taken away for several weeks after some of my friends sent 'inappropriate' memes in a group chat. I had no part in it, which my parents knew since they read everything, but I still got punished."
"When I was 19, and living in dorms, I finally turned off tracking on my phone so my parents couldn’t track my location."
"Not because I was doing anything bad, just because my mother had texted me the night before after I went to pick friends up from a club, and she demanded to know why I was there. I just couldn't handle being tracked any more."
"The next day, while I was at work, my parents drove to my work location and confiscated my car for removing tracking."
Doorway To Drama
"You can't close your door, if you do we remove it."
"In my house, it wasn’t allowed to be closed for sleeping, it was only allowed to be closed if your parent was in the room with you and wanted it closed."
"You want the door closed to change your clothes? Better do it in the bathroom and don’t take too long or the door will be opened. And behave or you might lose your bathroom door privileges."
-scarfknitterTrap Door Doors GIFGiphy
"When my dad got remarried I was 17 and had to move, my stepmother had the stupidest rules."
"Everyone had to sit in the same chair at the table, even if not during dinner time. She'd throw a tantrum if someone sat in a different chair."
"No hanging out with friends on the weekends"
"She would, and I kid you not, turn off the WiFi for the entire day if even one person decided not to go to church."
"We weren't allowed to walk through a bathroom - it was the best way to get to a part of the house. You had to walk around multiple rooms if you didn't just cross through that bathroom. I wish I was joking when I say she guarded that bathroom one night."
"Everyone has to go to bed at the exact same time (9:00PM) because the youngest 'wouldn't be able to sleep if other people were awake' - the youngest was 11 at the time."
"Not being allowed to study certain subjects because of my gender."
"My parents really never accepted the fact that I study criminology. They still blabber about how I should be studying tourism management since it’s more 'feminine'."
"My mom never had the chance to finish tourism college because of having me so she wants me to achieve her dream of becoming a flight attendant."
"She was a lousy mother and wants me to become what she wanted, but I have my own dreams to pursue. I can't live my life like it's a do-over of hers."
-louskeypushing air travel GIFGiphy
Jesus And Breadsticks
"When I was 17 I went on a date with a 16 year old girl who was new to my school. She had moved there from Northwest Arkansas. Her parents were really strict."
"When I showed up to our date I was told that we'll be traveling in her parent's car. I had to sit in the front with her dad and she sat in the back with her mom. They talked to me about Jesus the entire ride to the Olive Garden."
"She left a hand written note in my locker on Monday apologizing. No, we didn't end up together."
"Still worth it cause of the endless breadsticks."
Wrestling With Hypocrisy
"No watching wrestling, because it will make you g*y."
"I've put a bike lock on the fridge. no midnight snacks for anyone."
"Read one book everyday. If you cannot, you'll write sentences."
"I'm annoyed at the world. Get off the video games and go outside."
"No metal or classic rock because the Devil will influence you."
"No Trading Cards Because the Devil created it."
"No UFC because it's too violent."
"Basically, my dad made the rules and they were outright pathetic as I reflect back on it. That was only because he was an a**hole, and everything he did was hypocritical."
"He told us never to smoke pot, but a few years later we walk in and see him completely stoned, eating smarties and watching Jackass."
"Good thing I was considered a rebel in his eyes because I would've hated being a tool like him."
"I wasn't allowed to see most of the TV series kids watch because they were 'violent', 'distracting' or 'a bad influence'. Basically, when my friends talk about their childhood series or TV shows the only thing I say is 'sounds interesting'."
"All my friends' jaws drop when I say I never saw an episode of Phineas and Ferb or, like, Invader Zim. Those Cartoon Network or Disney Channel shows, I was just never allowed to watch them."
"I'm an adult now and it's at that point where I can't really go back to watch them just because I'm not really the 'target audience' and I don't have nostalgia, so they just seem so... childish and I hate that I can't enjoy them as hard as I try."
-NebulaDragon416phineas and ferb GIFGiphy
Strict rules typically come from a place of love (and fear) - we get that. But maybe try counseling instead of ... this?
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I cannot be trusted with chocolate marshmallow cookies.
I don't even like marshmallows, but something happens in my brain when I bite into it and I no longer have an ability to say no. It doesn't even matter what brand - could be Mallomars, or pinwheels, or whatever your local store brand is.
Doesn't matter, just put it in the freezer and walk away. It's best you forget about it, because you'll never see the box again.
Reddit user ts_13_ asked:
"What’s a food you can’t buy because you will literally eat the entire thing in one sitting?"
Never. See. The. Cookies. Again.
But I don't feel bad about it, cause I'm absolutely not the only one out here with self control issues. Here are Reddit's snack confessions.
Serving SizeTortilla Chips GIF by Salsarita's Fresh Mexican GrillGiphy
"The larger size bags are a better value, but I almost always get a small bag. Why? Self-preservation."
"Regardless of how big the bag is, for me the serving size for chips is one bag."
"Same, can’t open a bag of chips/chip-like things (Doritos, Cheetos, etc.) without it being gone and me being full of shame."
"Crunchy, salty, and savory is a deadly combo for me."
"The routine is eat half the bag, lie to myself and save the other half for another day…an hour later eat the rest of the bag."
"Fresh warm French bread that just came out of the bakery"
"Dude fresh bread straight out the oven is literally heaven. I will eat an entire loaf, I’ve done it before and I'll do it again."
"I bought a breadmaker at the beginning of the pandemic and man it is dangerous."
"The loaves aren't huge so you can just... eat one. Like a snack loaf."
"Literally anything I slightly like"
"Yes, if I think 'damn these pickles are pretty good' there goes the whole jar PoP jut like that."
"Same with cookies, chips, anything."
"This is me too."
"Not just cookies and chips and treats, but regular meals too. It's gotten to the point where I only cook bland things because if I make something that tastes good I'll want to eat 3 or 4 helpings that night."
"Most snacks really. I don't have a sensible relationship with food."
The Brown DragonHappy Get Down GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy
"Cereal! Omg it’s bad. Specifically Cinnamon Toast Crunch (regular or the churro kind)"
"Someone brought in popcorn at work the other day. All sorts of 'gourmet' versions. One was Cinnamon and Sugar."
"It tasted EXACTLY like Cinnamon Toast Crunch."
"I killed the whole bag. Now I'm shaking. I need more. I'm chasing the brown dragon."
"Omg here in Texas, HEB sells horchata-flavored Rice Krispies. First it was Cinnamon Toast Crunch then it was the churros...now it's these."
"Canela es vida"
A Fascination With The Frozen
"Not the fancy ones, that 3 dollar bag of 24 twin pops. Had my girlfriend come home and see the side table by the couch full of sticks and just shake her head in disappointment at me."
"It's a childhood addiction I'll never shake, I guess."
"One day an old roommate bought a 48 box of ice cream sandwiches then went to the gym."
"By the time he got home I only managed to save him two."
"I like to eat all the colors and leave the grape ones , then eat the grape ones repeatedly until my entire mouth has frost bite."
"I've had to go to ER three times because of it and have given myself nerve damage."
"White cheddar popcorn... I turn into an animal"
"Same. My sister has a video tucked away of me emptying a bag of white cheddar popcorn into my mouth at a stop light while driving. She made sure my husband saw it before we got married."
"The amount of SmartFood family-sized bags that I have singlehandedly torn to shreds…"
More AnimalsHungry John Krasinski GIF by The Animal Crackers MovieGiphy
"Circus Animal cookies with the pink and white frosting."
"If surveyed, I wouldn't even say I liked them and it never occurs to me to buy them. But if they're around, get out of my way!"
"Have you tried them frozen? Discovered it by accident when I was staying in a place with no AC, and haven’t looked back since"
"Anything I like. I have ADHD and no self control"
"I have ADHD and I obsess over food too! Will eat the same thing for days until I don't like it anymore."
"The lack of self control is actually the worst."
"I binge food, alcohol, people, until I’ve f*cked up my body, my relationship, my job, or whatever else."
Hidden In The Toilet
"If it's in the house, it CALLS to me, and I am drawn to it like a Siren from Greek mythology."
"When my partner wants to have PB in the house, she literally has to hide it from me. And I've found it a few times, so she has to get REALLY CLEVER every time she gets a new container."
"Last time she hid it in the toilet tank, and I found it because I had to repair the flapper device and found it in there."
"I found my people. Can’t have it in the house. I will throw it away to save myself from myself."
"Everyone close to me knows it too, cuz I’ll announce it."
"No, no, no, get it out. I won’t stop eating it until it’s gone."
Easter Emergenciescrab GIF by OriginalsGiphy
"I made myself sick on Easter because I ate what turned out to be 11 crab rangoons in one sitting."
"I'm lactose intolerant. They're full of cream cheese."
"I'm allergic to seafood and I am addicted to them. Luckily they're usually made with fake crab..."
Alright foodies, you're up.
Go ahead and confess your snack sins. You're clearly among friends here.
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We all did wild things when we were young. Many of us still do wild things now.
Some of these actions were against the rules. Other actions weren't exactly banned but were frowned upon. And some actions were so crazy, no one thought about having a rule against them at first.
Sometimes, we do something so out of the ordinary that a rule is created so it won't happen again. These are often the best stories.
That's probably why Redditor TheBlackTemplar125 asked:
"What rules were put in place because of you?"
As expected, the answers held some great stories.
Making A Career Out Of It
"In middle school i would use sharpies to tattoo myself, other kids thought it was cool so i started charging $1 per drawing wherever they wanted. Principal found out and after i wouldn’t stop, she put a ban on sharpies for the entire school. even the teachers couldn’t bring them in. i’m a tattoo artist now."
Reversing The Joke
"In history class in high school, there was about 10 of us really close friends. We would take every opportunity to make “your mom” jokes. A couple months into class the teacher made us sign a “treaty” promising to stop making fun of each other’s moms. We signed it, and started making fun of each other’s dads."
Dads Change Diapers Too
"I got the Ryan’s Steak House buffets in Louisville, KY to put baby changing stations in the men’s bathrooms back in the 90’s."
"I did the same with a large craft supply store in Canada called Michaels after my first daughter was born and I had to change her diaper in the womens washroom. One message and they were installed within a week or two. I was really impressed with how quickly they took action."
"My daughter is almost 8 and I just told her last week that the change table in the mens room was because of her while we were shopping to make a mother's day present."
Get Out Of School For Free
"My elementary school was located in the center of the neighborhood, and my 5th grade class was the first to get outdoor trailers for classrooms. We'd ask for bathroom passes and then walk home. Next year they built a fence around the school"
Fire In A Crowded Hotel
"I put a croissant in one of those hotel toasters. It soon became engulfed in flames and needed extinguishing. Next day at breakfast they made a sign that said “if you’d like your croissant toasted, please ask a member of staff”"
One Evil Over The Other
"No typewriters in class."
"I was kind of a shit kid and while my school allowed us to use laptops, I would play videogames. Primarily Warcraft 3. In class. No sound or anything so I wasn't being a complete nuisance, but I wasn't doing my work."
"A teacher told me I couldn't use my laptop."
"I happened to have a 1950's Remington Quiet-Riter portable, all-mechanical typewriter. It was anything but quiet, with all of the TAKKA TAKKA TAKKA TAKKA... DING! you'd expect from a typewriter."
"After one full day of studiously taking notes and doing my assignments via typewriter, my teacher said I could use my laptop as long as I didn't bring the typewriter to class."
The Chicken On Fire
"Military school I went to. After me, an adult is required to check the parade cannon to ensure it is clear, and closely monitor the students as they load it."
"There is to never be another flaming rubber chicken flying over the parade grounds ever again. Circa 1989."
Changing The Curriculum
"English Media class in Highschool. End of year project was to film a movie. Me and 3 other guys decided to film a “gangster movie”. Long story short, while filming the final shoot out scene behind a local post office, we were swarmed by police and almost got shot. One of the guys got arrested and my teacher almost got fired."
"The following year, the curriculum was changed and the final project was now an essay to be completed on a popular movie."
Only Certain Gods Allowed
"freshman year of high school, I had to give an oral presentation on a random Greek god. this was at a Christian school, for context. I got Dionysus, so naturally I spent many hours researching on YouTube how to act drunk (wasn't much of a partier, so I didn't know) and pretended to be absolutely wasted for my presentation. it was a great success but my teacher unsurprisingly banned Dionysus for the following years. it didn't help that Dionysus was basically the god of orgies and bestiality too, if I remember correctly"
"Oh man, that teacher f@#$&?d up. How does a teacher assign a project on Dionysus without realizing what the material would be like? The dude was basically the Greek god of crazy parties."
Road Deaf Traveled
"Finally I get to add a personal story to Reddit. When I was walking home from school, I had to walk next to the road to get to my house. I decided to see if I could walk with my eyes closed."
"I didn’t feel the transition from gravel to road, and the cars didn’t honk at me (as they made a line), because they thought I was deaf. I heard a noise, looked back, and ran off the street into an orchard."
"Two weeks later, they put up Deaf Child Area signs on both sides of the road I live on."
"Why would they have thought you were deaf if your eyes were closed…?"
"This is my favorite because your eyes were closed and they put up deaf child signs. There goes a goofy but regular child, the cause of all this."
That last one was too funny!
Rules are created for various reasons, but sometimes they lead to some great memories.
When I was a kid, I decided to learn to be ambidextrous. I either handed in papers that were illegible or took forever to finish an assignment trying to write neatly with my left hand that my teacher eventually made a rule that only kids who are left-handed could write with their left hand!
It made me angry back then, but now, just like these other Redditors, I have a good story to tell!
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