Around the world, LGB rights are slowly inching (or in some case hurdling) toward equality. From country to country, and sometimes even within a country, attitudes towards non-heterosexual relationships can scale from "Okay, so your point is...?" to prison, or even immediate death. Here, people from fifteen different countries worldwide shared what would happen if you were to say, "I'm gay" in their country.
1. Ireland
Northern Ireland is fairly accepting of gay people in general (although gay marriage isn't legal - even though it won a majority vote in 2015), but it certainly won't win any prizes for its acceptance of gay people.
I mean, nothing's really going to happen. You won't be killed. You might risk being kicked out of your house if you live with your parents, or severing ties with family and/or friends. Definitely, people will be less comfortable with being friends with you and you'll get more than a few looks and whispered comments. Be very prepared to be called a mean name.
In terms of your overall safety, you're pretty much fine.
However, I'm a teenager, and while a lot of adults I know are homophobic, most of my peers are pretty liberal on the matter, so hopefully the next generation won't care as much and we might finally get gay marriage legalised.
2. The UK
Being gay is pretty unremarkable. I mean its just who you fancy. Most common responses:
Okay.
From somebody who doesnt really care. A vast majority of the population.
OkaySo what do you want to drink?
Meaning I dont care, thats a bit weird that youd mention it, we should solve this slight pause with a drink.
Yeah, I know
I mean its usually not a surprise. From my experience, anyway. I cant remember ever being surprised.
What you do between the sheets, mate, none of my business
Someone who doesnt want to know. They may even be against homosexuality in private but theyll not say it to your face. This is a minority opinion in the UK, and hopefully won't be there at all soon.
3. Azerbaijan
Lesbian, gay, bisexuals, and transgender (LGBT) persons in Azerbaijan may face legal challenges not experienced by non-LGBT residents. Same-sex sexual activity for both men and women is legal in Azerbaijan, but households headed by same-sex couples are not eligible for the same legal protections available to heterosexual couples.
So, officially gays have same rights as heterosexuals. In reality, they don't.
Parents: It is more common for a father to express shock. Most probably he will act angrily first. Afterwards he will not talk with you. You will be ignored by him. Your mother will be a little more supportive than your father but still she also will feel shocked. Most probably your family will not force you to leave the home. Your brother will not talk and will not take you in serious. Sisters as always will try to understand you. This is a generalization, of course, but seems to be what happens based on gender roles here.
Friends: Friendship is one of the holy words in Azerbaijan. Your best friend will probably feel shocked, furious. Afterwards he will tell you not to tell anyone. I am talking about only true friends. Mates/colleagues: Some will ridicule you and some will try to avoid talking with you. Some of them will call you Dutch. In Azerbaijan, Netherlands is perceived as a paradise of gays.
Society: Majority of people definitely will not like you and everyone will try to avoid talking with you. You will be ignored. But some exceptions may exist. Some fraction of Azerbaijani society is (Continued)
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very open minded. Those people will come towards you and will try to support you. Some ultra-conservative people may attack you, especially in rural areas. So, it would not be 100% safe to say I am gay in society. In Azerbaijan homosexuality is not brand new. Some celebrities and governmental officials are gay and most of the people know it.
4. Canada
This is the Prime Minister of Canada. Earlier this year, Justin Trudeau raised a gay pride flag in our Parliament Hill.
Gay marriages have been legal here since July, 2005. Same sex adoptions are legal here. Transgender reassignment surgeries are covered by healthcare. If you told me that you were gay, Id give you a high five.
Our current Prime Ministers father, when HE was Justice Minister (before becoming Prime Minister) made Canada one of the first Western Nations to legalize Homosexuality itself; before that, consensual sodomy was a criminal offence. "The State has no business in the bedrooms of nation" is a famous quote to remember.
Canada is not without its flaws, but I am so very proud to call it home.
Anonymous
5. India
I remember our English teacher teaching us a peom called Daffodils by William Wordsworth. It's one of my favourite poems. One of the stanza in the poems reads -says:
The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazedand gazedbut little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought
Everyone started laughing when the poet called himself 'gay'. Our teacher explain that 'gay' means 'jolly'. I really liked how the word sounded.
This photo is from a Marathi show called Comedy Express.
Both of these people as men dressed as women. Men dressed as women is a clich comedy trick in India. It is seen as something awkward and funny. I know gay men don't always dress as women but I just pointing out that it is seen as something funny and unusual. What responses you get depends on your friend circle.
In my friend circle there is a guy who is really feminine, he may not be gay but he might be. In fact, he is a very nice person and a good friend. If suppose he comes out and says Hey, I'm gay. I'd be like, I thought so. You can expect to be made fun of. But then we make fun of Playboys and Virgins, and Singles and Couples alike. Most likely you'd be made fun of more often. But if your friends are discriminating against you because of that, then you're friends with the wrong people.
Now, if a stranger approaches me and says, I'm gay. I'd assume he's asking for a quickie so I'd say sorry, but I'm not gay. I mean why else would anyone go around telling strangers that he's gay.
If you're thinking of coming out in front of your parents I'd advise against it. Most Indian parents are conservative and may take you to a psychiatrist or a doctor. If you're sure that your parents are really open minded you can go ahead.
I have a bisexual friend, she has a boyfriend now, but says that she prefers girls more than boys. None of us really mind.
Overall, I must say, sex or sexual preferences are not a topic of discussion in India.
6. The USA
Our country (The USA) has finally legalized same-sex marriage. If you said you were gay in a public setting (depending on what State you were in) you could (Continued)
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reasonably walk away safe in broad daylight, but you may not feel very safe.
Our country is VERY big, and there are LOTS of people, and not every state is very kind to gay, lesbian, bisexual, queer, or transgender people.
If you said this in the middle of a restaurant in West Hollywood, California, nothing would happen.
If you said it in the middle of a bar in rural Arkansas, or any other middle American stateI dont know.
It could be met with stares, and at the very worst it may open you up to being the victim of a hate crime if you werent careful. People do get accosted walking to their cars.
As much as I would like to believe the entirety of my nation is a bunch of fun loving, feel good friendlies, we arent. We have our fair share of very ignorant, hateful, and fearful people.
Mike DiGirolamo
7. The Netherlands
What would happen if you say I'm a gay in your country?
We would say, "So, Youre Not Gay In Your Own Country?"
The Dutch are known for their dry humour (like wit but less sophisticated).
Although there are areas in the Netherlands where it wouldnt be safe to show same gender affection in public, for the most part the Dutch are pro-gay rights and the Gay Pride parade is almost like a national holiday. So, being gay in the Netherlands is not controversial.
8. Syria
In Syria, there are three cases:
You happen to say Im gay in a region that is controlled by armed terrorist militias, including, but not limited to, the Islamic State. Sharia law is the sole and only law that is applicable there. That means that you will be thrown off a high, probably the highest, building in downtown.
You happen to say Im gay in a region that is dominated by the Syrian regime. You will almost certainly be ridiculed and insulted by whoever you talk to. That would be mostly verbal insults, although it can definitely take a more violent form. If you are unlucky, someone will report you to the Syrian intelligence agencies, which will arrest, insult and perhaps torture you even more badly, and then maybe sentence you to spend some time in jail. I wouldnt expect death penalty in this scenario.
You happen to say Im gay in a region that is dominated by the Kurds. These areas have a de facto local administration and are subject to neither the Islamic State nor the Syrian government. The mentality and attitude towards you would probably be similar to the second case, but Im not sure whether anyone would care to arrest you, as the governance there isnt well-established yet (and theres a chance that the Kurds would actually be more tolerant, or so one hopes).
If you are a citizen of a developed nation who happens to be in Syria and publicly talk about their sexual orientation, then that would change nothing about the first case, but would probably help you avoid the torture in the second case (and be deported instead), and face less harsh consequences in the third case.
9. Finland
Here in Finland I think people would probably ask Ah, so youre a Swede. Its a running joke in Finland that (Continued)
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all Swedes are gay.
There are definitely anti-homosexual hate crimes committed in Finland, just like in most other places. There was a straight pride demonstration one or two years ago, organized by an ugly mix of Christian extremists and a very small contingent of Finnish neo-nazis.
But to most parts its a safe country for rainbow people.
10. Norway
In Norway, even the national protestant church accepts Gay marriage. The mayor of my town is gay, and no-one ever mentions it outside the local Pride Festival. If someone so happened to publicly say Im Gay, most people would probably either not notice because theyre busy taking snaps or listening to Beyonc on their phone, or just look at you with an air of supreme boredom and say yes, and?
Besides a limited number of conservative countryside folks (mostly followers of the Laestadianism sect), really, really far-right people, and extreme religious folk, no-one cares about others being gay, lesbian, bi, straight or anything like that.
Its just a non-issue really.
11. The Phillippines
You either shout youre gay or say to your friends that youre gay, it doesnt matter, Filipinos judge you not on your sexual orientation, but your action and attitude.
But, there is still a lot of stereotypes, in the Philippines, when a straight person thinks of the word gay, they imagine a cross dressing femme boy, and the word lesbian, they imagine a brutish boyish woman.
The Philippines is still new to the concept that not all gay people act flamboyantly or dress as a drag queen. Filipinos would be pretty shocked to learn that someone was gay but moves like a straight guy, this type of person is considered very rare. Also, when people see good looking gay men/women, straight guys regard him/her as cool and girl would want to befriend them
Our President is pro LGBT, he may pass the same sex marriage bill on his term.
12. China
In first tier cities like Beijing, Shanghai, Shenzhen (where I am), people are richer and better educated generally, so they dont care, or some of them would feel a only bit weird to hear someone say he/she is gay.
Actually, my colleagues and friends seem particularly fond of LGB people. It's like a unique quality, to them.
In small cities or rural areas, which is the main population of China, people mostly will (Continued)
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feel weird or even gross.
But China is a country of 1.4 billion people, so no matter where you are, there are always open minded and narrow minded people, and thanks to the fast penetration of internet to peoples life, Chinese people are learning about the outside world fast, and they are making huge progress on education and worldviews.
Welcome to take a look in China.
13. Eritrea
They wouldnt know what youre talking about, since theres no word for that in my country. After you explained it to them they would probably be grossed out and scream at you. After the police arrive you will be thrown in prison and face 3 years in prison for merely just being attracted to the same sex.
14. Mexico
It depends on which part of the country you happen to be in. There are States in Mxico that are very hetero-macho culture oriented (like Monterrey), but even there you will find open minded people who dont really care what you do under the sheets.
Very catholic people will try to convince you that homosexuality is against God, but they dont mean any harm, they just have different opinions. Most of these people will treat you okay.
I find it difficult to think that you will encounter physical violence, but hate crimes still occur, and transgender people are the most affected by it.
If you say I am gay in Puerto Vallarta, you may end up having sex that night since (Continued)
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is a very gay-friendly tourist area, lucky you! The same goes to other cities such as Guadalajara or Cancn.
In Mxico City, again it will depend on where you are since is almost a mini-world by itself. I think you will raise some eyebrows, but the general reaction will be something like meh. We are a city of more than 20 million, so we are not easily surprised here.
Mexicans like a good laugh, you may hear some jokes at your expense but you could always tell the difference between a harmless joke or an insult.
So, act as you are but if you sense you are in danger, use your mind.
15. Russia
In Western part of Russia and major cities you are very unlikely to be given hard times about that. If you dress stereotypically gay, you can get a few looks, but thats it. But dont expect most of the people to be appreciative. As everywhere else, young people would be more open-minded and interested. I have gay friends myself (I didnt ask them to tell), and my common reaction is, as a relatively young straight male - Thats okay, but why would I want to know? - because for me it makes no difference at all. And its really weird if you go on about your usual friend conversation, and, then, hes like, out of nowhere - Im gay. Makes no sense. But there are places around each town of course such as clubs, neighborhoods where the same statement will probably get you adored or laid, if thats what youre up to.
But the further you go east up to the Far Eastern part, the more caution should you exercise. People tend to be more conservative en masse and bad things happen.
Anonymous
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.