1. I walked into the house and thought, I should check the answering machine. I then stood in the kitchen trying to remember where the answering machine was until I realized I havent had an answering machine in over 12 years.
Cierra Shelton, Facebook
2. I couldnt get the microwave to work I kept pushing the start button but it wouldnt turn on. When I started crying my husband walked over, closed the microwave door, and hit start. It worked.
Brittany Wade Ratliff, Facebook
3. I was running the register at work and tried to swipe a $20 bill through the credit card machine. I then stood there looking at it like Why isnt this working?
Ariel Simon, Facebook
4. I packed my hubbies lunch in the morning, then at lunchtime got a photo from him of his sandwich with nothing in it! Just two pieces of bread.
5. I filled my car with gas and drove off. Moments later I was down the road when a police car pulled me over. I still had the cash in my hand. The officer was nice enough to take it back to the gas station for me.
Kari Davis Roberts, Facebook
6. I tried to unlock the front door of my apartment with my car keys unlock button. I also dialed a phone number into the microwave.
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7. I tried to text my cat and tell him I missed him. I started crying when Crookshanks wasnt in my contact list.
Lynsey Van Nevel, Facebook
8. I asked my sister how much a $50 gift card would cost to buy.
9. I never told anyone in my family I did it. I cut a piece of cheddar off a block, then put the cheese in the drawer Id gotten the knife from, the knife in the cheese drawer in the fridge, and my plate of cheese and crackers in the sink. I walked out of the kitchen and sat down on the couch, totally forgetting why Id even gotten up.
Erin Hicks, Facebook
10. I left the TV remote in the freezertwice. Lost it for days at each time.
11. I was filling out pre-admittance forms for the hospital and completely forgot how old I was. I couldnt remember the year I was born or anything. Fortunately, my doctors office happened to call and I asked the nurse my age.
12. I went to the toilet, tried to flush it by flicking the light switch on and off, then complained when it wouldnt flush. I was there for a good five minutes.
13. I completely forgot the word nose and proceeded to say (Continued)
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He has a spot on that thing between his eyes.
14. I couldnt remember the word hand. Called it an arm foot for hours.
15. I was trying to cook eggs in the pan but nothing was happening. I finally realized the stove wasnt on. Id been watching raw eggs for 10 minutes.
16. By the time I gave birth there were easily seven unopened jars of peanut butter in the pantry because I could never remember if we had any or not when I was grocery shopping. After the seventh jar I actually cried when I got home and found them all. I was convinced I was losing my mind.
17. I used hand soap instead of dishwasher detergent in the dishwasher.
18. I was attempting to take my prenatal vitamins, but instead of pouring out the vitamins, I poured my water bottle on my hand. Then I cried for 10 minutes.
Eva Dunlop, Facebook
19. I had a 9-month-old son the second time I was pregnant. One day, my friend came over and asked where my son was. Frantic, I searched all downstairs for him, threw cushions around, toys and everything else but (Continued)
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couldnt find him. I broke down crying at having lost my son until my friend went upstairs and found him asleep in the cot. Apparently Id put him down for a nap, but didnt remember.
Shama-Jade Balcarres, Facebook
20. I put my jeans on this morning and they just felt weird. They weren't covering my butt right or staying up. I couldn't figure out why. After about 45 minutes I looked down and realized I had been wearing my jeans backwards all morning.
21. I don't think my husband really understood until last night just how scatterbrained it can make a woman. Exhibit A:
I was in the kitchen and meant to bring him a soda when I went back into the living room.
A few minutes later, he gets up to get a soda, so I remind him I just brought him one.
Turns out I actually brought him a pack of ramen noodle seasoning...
22. We were in England for a baby moon trip around thanksgiving and being from Florida we were quite bundled up for our journey. We had walked into a pub for some dinner and this place was PACKED! I had taken off my gloves, hat and scarf and had unzipped my jacket but was still wearing it since we didn't have a table yet. When we finally got to a table and I took my jacket off I didn't notice that my sweater and shirt had balled up to the top of my belly. I was now standing in the middle of a super crowded restaurant with my entire belly hanging out and only barely covered by the stretchy top of my maternity pants. I didn't realize until two women had given me a look of pity and I was so embarrassed. If I wasn't so hungry I probably would have made DH take me somewhere else to eat.
23. I forgot my Uncle's name as well as my aunts and cousin. That whole off shoot, I just could not for the life of me remember any of their names. I mean, they had been a part of my family for my whole life, I was super embarrassed. This happened with my first pregnancy.
24. I buttered a teabag. Yep.
Anonymous.
25. On several occasions I forgot to put my boob away after breastfeeding. One time was in church.
Anonymous.
26. Today I went to Wally World for a few baby related things I've been wanting for weeks (mostly craft related things, but other odds and ends too). When I got there I couldn't remember what I was there for! I waddled up and down nearly every aisle trying to remember, but I could not. I came home empty handed and remembered everything shortly after. I'm going to have to write a very detailed list before going again.
27. I poured Orange Juice into my cereal and poured milk into my cup.
I think the worst incident was arriving at the supermarket to buy a few things. After I got home, I realized that (Continued)
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I had forgotten what I'd gone there for and bought a whole bunch of things I hadn't intended to. So I had to go back.
28. I've burnt myself twice pulling stuff out of the oven. Just because you have and oven mitt on one hand doesn't mean the hand w/out the mitt is safe from burns. Hopefully I remember that next time.
29. I was looking for my phone in the dark, using the flashlight on my phone.
30. A week or two ago I was at working sipping on some raspberry leaf tea. I took a sip and immediately opened my mouth. While my tea was pouring out of my mouth all over my shirt all I could think was why?? Why did I just do that?
31. I was in a hurry one day, and weeks away from delivery I left the house to take my son to school and run a few errands. It wasnt until the cashier at the market said, did you know you have a towel on your head that I realized I hadnt done my hair after a shower. I had gone to 2 other places like that before someone said something! I got in the car and cried.
Anonymous
32. Walked out of the house with everything including baby and baby accessories everything except pants.
33. I went through a car wash but didn't realize until after that (Continued)
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didn't realize until after that I had about 200 dollars worth of groceries in the back of the truck.
Anonymous
34. I bawled like a baby BC I couldnt find matching socks. The sob fest lasted so long that I was late for work. My husband tried to let me wear his socks and then I cried even harder bc they werent MY socks. He reminds me of that every time I mention another baby.
Anonymous
35. Searched and searched for my glasses and was so upset because I just got them (I used to wear contacts all the time). Upset and crying, I called my husband. He comes home looks at me and says I see you found your glasses. I burst into tears crying because I hadnt found them; they were on my face all day.
Anonymous
36. I cried at Smiths when they didnt have any ripe avocados and actually told the produce worker I hope you are happy, you pathetic punk. I hate you. He then found me in the check out and handed me 2 ripe avocados and said my wife is pregnant too, its ok.
Anonymous
37. I tossed my dog a dryer sheet before walking out of the house instead of a dog biscuit. Fail.
Anonymous
38. Grocery shopping.got my daughter out of the cart and all buckled in the car and drove off with the groceries and my purse sitting in the cart. Had to drive back when I could not find my purse. Grocery store management was looking at video to see if I was kidnapped! Talk about embarrassed.
Anonymous
39. During a checkup, I couldnt keep my composure when my doctor, of Indian descent, told me to focus. His heavy accent made it sound like he was saying fers. He said it repeatedly, and more furiously, the more I giggled. The more he said it, the harder I laughed. We had to reschedule the appointment.
Anonymous
God bless America, land that I love. But Lord don't cross her, she can be feisty. America does have a unique connection to rules and more often than not visitors find themselves in a culture shock. Which can be entertaining.
Money Back
Bribing Season 3 GIF by NETFLIXGiphy"Don't try to bribe cops when you get pulled over. I had some Argentinian friends immediately pull out their wallets and start pooling their cash when they got pulled over once. Fortunately someone in the car noticed and told them to put it away immediately."
No Roaming
"I thought this was an obvious one, but my German exchange student would very casually walk on/through people's properties, even going so far as to walk up to their houses in the middle of the night. This is a huge no-no unless you need help, just casually walking around on people's properties would make them think you are looking to rob the place."
By the Rules
"Make the assumption that you know the law. Our local laws change drastically from state to state. If you buy weed for example, it may be illegal to drive ten miles west into another state."
"There is no "may" about it. Since marijuana is still illegal on the federal level, transporting any amount of THC, even medicinally marked packaging, is a felony. Transporting any controlled substance across state lines carries a minimum of 5 year sentence and a nice little trafficking badge on your record."
Hands Up
"Get into a fist fight. In some places that isn't a big deal. Here it has significant legal issues. And the other guy might be carrying and you could get shot. Just walk away."
Straight Face
schitts creek comedy GIF by CBCGiphy"As a Canadian crossing the border to the US, don't act fun or funny with the border patrol. Give them your passports, tell them what you're doing and such. They're harda**es."
- cappo40
In others countries people can just meander through other people's backyards? Like... really? Ok. And yes, do not play games with any kind of law enforcement. They really have to sense of humor. Read on...
Pay Up
homer simpson episode 22 GIFGiphy"Don't try to cheat the IRS. They will screw your life into oblivion."
bad buzz
"Usually you should never openly drink alcohol in a public space such as the right-of-way, a park, etc. It's illegal here and getting arrested will really harsh your buzz. Not that people don't get around this by using water jugs or other opaque containers, but it might be an unpleasant surprise if you're used to more liberal drinking laws."
From the USSR
"Assume personal space distance is the same as your country. Depends on where you come from, but Americans are stereotyped as being used to more personal space than some countries. Our Russian foreign exchange student was kinda weirded out by how far people stand apart at bus stops, etc, and was a little hurt after people scooched away from him on the bus, in class, etc because "Hey we are all friends here so lets be breathing the same air."
Twice the Size
"Don't misunderstand the massive scale of the country. You will not be able to visit Vegas, Disney World, and the Statue of Liberty in a single one week trip without taking several planes. The 48 contiguous United States is nearly twice the size of the EU, by area. It is freaking massive and a lot of it is really far apart. In some states, you can drive for 8+ hours and not leave the state. Like, we have states the size of some other countries."
- zbeezle
YOU CAN DO THAT!!
Pop Tv No GIF by Schitt's CreekGiphy"You can't leave your baby unattended while shopping etc. like in some Scandinavian countries, you will get arrested."
"Wait, YOU CAN DO THAT in some places? Like I wouldn't necessarily be worried about my baby being stolen, but they're basically little suicide machines."
It sounds like we may not be the most fun country to be wandering through. Don't get me wrong, I'm an American and I love it here but we need to loosen up a bit. Let's get crazy.
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But sometimes, they are taking the hit for not exercising tact. The truth is, they might be verbalizing about a situation we have secretly thought about but keep to themselves.
When it comes to reserving judgment about people and their situations, many of us can relate to this. It is what separates us from those who aren't able to keep their observations to themselves.
Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor booja87 asked:
"What's something you secretly judge people about?"
People seeking validation in excess on the internet are met with criticism.
Social Media Portrayal
"What part of their life are they posting on social media."
– evilislive13
"My husband has a friend who has a psycho girlfriend that posts really personal sh*t online. Like, she sent her boyfriend some racy photos and he didn't 'react like he should have' so she shared them online with a comment about how she thought the photos were sexy and he must not find her attractive anymore. I was embarrassed for her. She also likes to make up stories about him hitting her then update a few hours later that she's sorry and she lied and he didn't hit her. And these people are in their 30s with children and still acting like that."
– deeznutz066
Venting Parents
"What they say about their kids in social media. I get that being a parent is hard and it's okay to talk/vent/be real about that online, but sometimes people cross the line and talk about their kids as if they're not real people, just because they're not grown and don't have a Facebook account. People should imagine what their kids would think of they were all grown up and reading your internet history. If you think they would be hurt by what you said, don't post it."
– adamislolz
Headphones are there for a reason. But these offenders are not considerate enough to use them.
Public Babbling
"People who use speaker phone for music or conversations in public places. I hate it."
– Billy_MacC
"My roommate uses speaker at all times. We'll be watching TV and he will literally answer the phone and talk on speaker. One time had the audacity to say me and this other guy wouldn't stop talking and he couldn't hear his gf. Same with music too, he'll play some some music in the middle of whatever I'm watching. Annoying as all f'k."
– Uga1992
Teaching Lessons
"My old roommate would use speaker to talk to her family at college so I joined the conversation the entire time, she constantly told me to 'shut the f'k up' in front of her mom, so I said 'then dont use speaker dumba**.'"
– Good-Ad-4067
Views from entitled people might say the following:
"Their Job"
"How they treat janitors/custodial staff and whether people leave more of a mess than they should because 'it's their job to clean up after me.'"
– hayleybeth7
People's Situations
"How snobbish another person reacts to someone else's situation. I. E. When someone finds out information about another persons wage, job, family situation, living situation, etc etc etc, and making a comment on it."
– ScreechPrimus
Do you ever feel like your ears are burning? Yeah, it's probably because of people like these:
Gossip
"People that gossip to me about other people. I always wonder what they say about me behind my back."
– BoskoMondaricci
Social Experiment
"One of my favorite office tricks is to gossip relentlessly, but to keep it at least 90% positive. People can and do find out that I've been going around, behind their backs, and spreading rumors about how great they are."
"Obviously it creates a nice work environment, but by being willing to gossip, people are more willing to tell me things that aren't necessarily public yet."
– uppervalued
What annoys me about the things people do have more to do with my growing impatience after having lived in New York City for over a decade.
Customers in fast food joints not knowing what to order after being in line for a sufficient amount of time grates me.
The increasing convenience of mobile ordering has been the best thing to come out of the pandemic that has kept me from losing my marbles.