Amused Employees Share The Most Horrifying AND Funny Stories From Their Office Holiday Parties.
1. At my first job out of university, I replaced a gal who had moved on to a new role. However, she was still friends with a number of current employees and was invited to the Holiday party as a guest. I went to the coat room to grab something from my jacket and found on her knees, doing the deed with one of the bartenders. In my drunken state I decided to have a little fun. I left, then informed several people, that they NEEDED TO GET THEIR COATS NOW!!!!!! They were literally caught in the act by the CEO and VP Sales.
Another, my previous firm our holiday party was held in a large museum, it had a historical Tipi as its centre piece. A partner was found with someone who was not his wife, buck naked and having sex in the very old and very historical tipi. We had to give a very generous donation to the museum for Tipi cleaning.
Not at a Christmas Party but our company Stampede Party. I found 2 senior managers making out with one another like high schoolers. Sadly they were both dating other people. I pulled the woman off, and hauled her into a cab. Where she proceeded to try and jump out of the moving vehicle. She was so drunk, I had to escort her into her apartment and put her to bed.
2. Last year, the Christmas party was on the one kid's 19th birthday. As he was now legal, our coworkers proceeded to get the poor kid absolutely hammered, three or four of them in particular, who bought most of the drinks for him. The restaurant we were at has a special of 6 different colored shots nicknamed the Rainbow. They bought him three sets, on top of beers and other shots. This guy was so far gone at the end of the night that I had to hold the straw still so he could drink water. I'm not sure if his girlfriend was more angry with him or amused by him.
The boss sent a message to our group chat later that night, saying that the guy's dad had called our boss and wanted to know who had bought all the drinks for him. My boss waited a few hours to tell everyone he was joking. I've never seen my coworkers freak out like that before. It was priceless.
3. "There was this quiet, old janitor that worked our office building who was scheduled to retire on Christmas, so our Christmas party kind of included his farewell; we gave gifts to each other, put up a Christmas tree, people brought cakes and pastries, Christmas stuff.
"Then here comes the old janitor and he leaves a fairly big bag of presents under the tree; we're all kind of surprised because no one seemed to interact with him that much, but nonetheless we thank him and wish him the best and stuff, then he leaves and presumably sets off to the Midwest. The next day, we open the presents, including his.
Turns out, the retiring janitor gave everyone in the office (Continued)
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a little bottle of sulfuric acid. Everybody got one, even me, I still have it. We don't know where he got them or how much they cost, but apparently he hated our guts.
Our new janitor has no idea why everyone is treating him so nicely. Anonymous
4. My friend is in charge of a number of temporary hires, contract workers, and freelancers at an ad agency. Her company's HR department sent a mass save-the-date email for the holiday party to everyone, including the people she has under her. That was a mistake. She now has to contact each one and tell them they are not invited to the company party." Anonymous
5. A place that I worked at about eight years ago had a huge party. One of the managers brought brownies and the director of operations (let's call him Jack) was the first to try them as we were setting up the food table.
About half an hour later, as we were finishing up, Jack starts giggling and talking about how tall he feels. The guy who brought the brownies grabbed the wrong plate as he left the house and accidentally brought pot brownies.
Needless to say, we gathered as many of the stoners as we could to clear that plate before anyone else got to them and tried to keep Jack away from other management.
6. It was the first holiday party my office had hosted in many years. Naturally many employees were eager to take advantage and enjoy the well-earned libations. I was tentative at first, but joined the fray once I saw that upper management was fully committed to the good time, i.e. getting completely hammered.
I quickly caught up to the pack, thoroughly enjoying myself and telling many stories, as I am want to do. Unfortunately, I got a little too caught up in the moment and, at the climax of a particular story, swung my arms in the air for emphasis.
As I did, my hand hit the bottom of a beer bottle just as my colleague put it to her lips, causing her to hit herself with it. After the initial shock had worn off and she cleaned up the spilled beer on her clothes, she turned to tell me she was OK, and if I wasn't feeling bad enough, my guilt skyrocketed because as she spoke I noticed that (Continued)
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her front tooth had broken as a result of the bottle hitting her face. It wasn't completely knocked out, but it was chipped well enough to be unmistakable.
I felt completely horrible and informed her of what happened, and she ran to the bathroom to confirm. To her credit, she was slightly embarrassed when she returned but stayed at the party and went out of her way to tell me that it was no big deal. Regardless, I still felt like a jerk the rest of the night.
A few days later she went to the dentist and had the tooth fixed, and it was a relief that no permanent damage had occurred. But I won't be telling any more stories at holiday parties for a while. Anonymous
7. I worked as a maintenance facilities man for a large school and foster home for troubled children. I showed up at the work Christmas party that was hosted by the programs nurse. Social anxiety troubled me a lot back then, so before I even knocked on the door I'd drank eight nips of vodka.
Within twenty minutes of being there I fell down a full flight of stairs and crashed through their screen door. This happened in front of about twenty coworkers including the program's administration and my immediate supervisors.
After apologizing and slurring profusely I told everybody that my ride was out front to pick me up. I hid in the bushes down the street until my significant other picked me up two hours later.
8. Let me preface this by saying that my team and I love hot sauces the hotter and more exotic the better. We collect them and share them around when we find a good one.
My team went out to a fancy Italian restaurant in the Denver area a few Christmases ago, and one of the guys had gone to a specialty spice store downtown and bought some whole Ghost Chili peppers to use in some chili. He saved one and produced it that night at dinner; daring anyone to eat it.
Being more on the machismo side of things, one of the other guys accepted the challenge and chomped it down whole. After turning redder than Rudolph's nose, and having mild hallucinations, he ended up vomiting all over the floor of one of the side server rooms of the restaurant.
Needless to say many laughs were had by all on behalf of his overestimated pain tolerance, and his Christmas dinner was thoroughly ruined because he said "things didn't taste right" for several days afterwards.
9. My boss made out with a mop. It's always the quiet, serious ones.
10. One year, a coworker and I were about 45 minutes late to the cocktail hour portion of our company's holiday party. Upon our arrival, we noticed a coworker's husband was (Continued)
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half passed out at a table. He managed to drink so much just in the first thirty minutes of cocktail hour that he vomited in the bathroom and half passed out at a table ... all before cocktail hour even ended. So embarrassing. Anonymous
11. Our CEO got drunk and announced that he would be taking the entire company on vacation to Cancun. Ten months later, he did. Yeah, I work for one of 'those' startups.
12. At my office party at my old company, the CEO thought it would be a fun party game to have everyone submit an embarrassing childhood story ahead of time no one knew why, but we all did it.
Then at the party he had them all printed on pieces of paper, and he had people read them aloud and guess who's story it was. It was incredibly awkward and probably the worst work-party game of all time. Anonymous
13. At last year's office party, this 22-year-old kid got drunk and basically cursed me out in front of everyone. He then threw a punch at me.
I simply stepped aside and watched him fall over. He ended up breaking his arm, lost a tooth, and lost a job. Police came, but no charges were filed as he didn't make any sort of contact.
14. One of my coworkers drank too much and proceeded to hit on our boss. When she got up from the table to walk away, he stood up to follow her, tripped, and split his chin open. The next day he came into work with a busted chin and a bruised ego. Anonymous
15. I was leaving the office where I worked, a government department, so the end of year party was also a de facto farewell party for me. As far as stuffy office parties where the entire drinks menu is funded by taxpayers, it was pretty damn swinging.
Anyway, about an hour into it a girl I had been talking to all year comes up and asks if I want to get out of there. Hell yes I do. She says we should go get coffee and then there is something she wants to show me because it might be the last time I ever see her. I say my final goodbyes to my boss and workers, all lovely people, and duck out of the party before it winds down to go get coffee with this woman who I'd been hitting it off really well with, or so I thought.
We get to a cafe, order drinks, chat for a bit and the second the waiter walks away, this ridiculous person actually proceeded to (Continued)
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drag out all of these charts and forms and stuff, even had a little A-stand for her presentation, asking me to sign up for Amway.
I drank my scaldingly hot coffee way too quick and noped the hell out of there to run back to my party, but it was too late, and the only person there was the janitor. His apathetic continuation of floor waxing seemed to both sum up and punctuate the entire night.
16. Once my boss challenged me to a shot contest at the start of the night. I blacked out shortly thereafter, but when I came in to work the next day, I had received the new nickname of 'Steak Pants." I never asked what I did to get this nickname, and I really don't want to know.
17. This year's Christmas party was $35 a ticket with no meal included, and everyone was required to bring a secret Santa gift worth at least $25. So that's $60 to spend time with my coworkers... Yeah...I didn't end up going.
18. I saw a coworker complain about a recent assignment, then say, 'Don't tell Bruce I was complaining.' She was talking to her boss, Bruce.
19. I was working freelance last year and the production company threw a Christmas party at at a pub near the office, where there were pong tables set up for flip cup and beer pong.
Everyone had a few drinks, and another tiny! freelance producer was sitting on the ping pong table talking to this guy when all of a sudden (Continued)
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the table collapses, beer spills everywhere, and she's on the floor of the bar.
It's funny because she's so tiny and nobody was really that drunk (and nobody got hurt). But everyone at that production company still talks about it.
As do I. It was hilarious."
20. I had an internship with very highly paid professionals. They threw a Christmas party at a swanky vacation home with an infinity pool and got smashed. One woman kept offering me liquor despite me being like 15.
I was inside the house and suddenly heard loud splashes from the pool. This definitely was not a pool party, people were in expensive suits and dresses, but in a drunken stupor everyone collectively thought it would be hilarious if they all pushed each other into the pool. Much regrets were obviously had as they got out of the pool shivering and wet, with no change of clothes. The next work day was filled with complaints about cleaning bills, ruined clothes, and wet car seats. No Xmas party was held anywhere with a pool after that.
21. Two days before my first work Christmas party a memo came out saying if you were arrested the company would not bail you out of jail.
A year before, several people were arrested for doing coke outside the christmas party. The CEO had to bail them all out of jail.
History is made on a daily basis.
Indeed, there is little more exciting than having witnessed the accomplishments of people like Barack Obama, Stacey Abrams, and Greta Thunberg knowing that they have firmly reserved a space for themselves in history books.
Of course, most of the people who paved the way to make the world what it is today have long since passed away.
Not all of them, though!
It may surprise you to learn that there are people who made an indelible impression on history who are still much alive today.
Some of whom even continue to make a difference to this very day
Redditor enginearz was eager to hear about historical figures people were surprised to learn were still alive, leading them to ask:
"What famous person from history is still alive?"
Forever Leaving His Name In Science
"He's the only currently living man with an element on the periodic table named after him."- snowflake247
Quite The Story To Tell
"Last human to hold the title of Tsar, as leader of the Kingdom of Bulgaria."
"He was exiled along with his family when the Soviets invaded Bulgaria in 1944."
"In 1990, after the fall of the Soviet Union, Simeon returned from exile to Bulgaria and July 2001, was democratically elected prime minister."
"The private citizen is now 85."- DirectionNew5328
Making Nature Cool For Decades
"David Attenborough."- random_username_96You Can Do It Uoftartsci GIF by U of T Faculty of Arts & ScienceGiphy
The Fought For Freedom And Justice
"The last surviving airman of the battle of Britain."
"He is 103 years old."
"He helped with the liberation of Auschwitz."
"He is 99 years old."
"He was a prosecutor at the Nuremberg trials."
"He is 102 years old."- Ashtar-the-Squid
"The last living member of the german anti-nazi resistance group 'White Rose".
"Most well-known members were the sibling Sophie and Hans Scholl, who were executed by the Nazis when they were identified."- ChrisTinnef
The One Who Made One Giant Leap For Mankind
"Buzz Aldrin, and I’m not even American."- mukaltinState Of The Union Salute GIF by MSNBCGiphy
Opening Doors For So Many Others
"She was one of the first black kids to go to an all-white school."
"There is a famous picture of that first day."- mumwifealcoholic
He Continues To Surprise Us
"Ozzy Osbourne."- CaptinDerpI
Admirably Defying So Many Odds
"98 years old."- Back2BachJimmy Carter Drilling GIF by GIPHY NewsGiphy
We've Still Got Two Out Of Four
"Paul and Ringo"- HMKingHenryIX
Inching Close To The Big One Double Oh...
And Still Practically Perfect In Every Way
"Julie Andrews."- aslrulesjulie andrews snap GIFGiphy
Who Could Forget About Dick Van Dyke ?!?!?!?!
"Everyone just forgetting about Dick Van Dyke, he's like 97 and still going."
"If you've never heard of him, he played in Marry Poppins, along with a bunch more movies"- Longjumping_Drag2752
And Still Stunning
"Sophia Loren is still kicking."- The_REAL_McWeasel
Continuing To Go Where No Man Has Gone Before
"William Shatner doesn't look it but that dude is in his 90s wtf."- flubberF*ckWilliam Shatner Fun GIF by Shark WeekGiphy
Perhaps what's most admirable, is that even when these astonishing people do eventually pass, they will continue to live on and change the world with the remarkable work they did.
We all indulge in fast food from time to time.
Even if we know what we're eating isn't exactly healthy, sometimes the salty, fatty mass-produced food is the only thing we want.
Resulting in our making weekly, if not daily, visits to a nearby chain.
Then, of course, there are the chains that we make every effort to avoid.
We've likely tried places at least once simply because everyone is always talking about them.
But after having one bite, we have trouble seeing exactly what all the fuss was about and vow to never return.
Even if it might be the only option at a rest stop or even the only available food for miles, we instead opt to wait and be hungry.
Redditor BungOnMimosas was curious to hear what people considered to be the most overhyped fast food chains around, leading them to ask:
"What do you think are the most overrated fast-food chains? Why?"
"Food As It Should Be"... Or Not...
"I know it's not technically 'fast food', but Panera Bread pisses me off."
"Insanely expensive for extremely average food." - Reddit
"Their quality has decreased so much in the past few years and they’ve added weird sh*t to their menu like pizza and chicken sandwiches."
"Massive identity crisis and crap food."- asm233
Things Ain't What They Used To Be...
"All of them, now that they charge real restaurant prices."- P00pf4rt5
"As much as I hate to say it, McDonald's is the only place that I can think of that the quality hasn't changed much."
"I mean, that's a pretty low bar, but it is what it is."- gnatman66happy ronald mcdonald GIF by McDonald's CZ/SKGiphy
"The majority of them, especially the really big ones (McDonald's, Wendy's, BK, Pizza Hut, etc)."
"The prices are no longer fast food prices and the quality is not there like it used to be."
"Far better local options that cost roughly the same at the end of the day."- senorita_diablo
Consistency Is Key...
"You can go to the same location three separate times, have the food made by the same staff, and receive 3 wildly different results."- AndrewLampart
Not So Popular Anywhere, It seems...
"KFC in France became so bad."- SterBout
"KFC."- calm4ufried chicken animation GIF by octavioterolGiphy
Likely Won't Go National...
"Idk how wide spread they are, but in the Buffalo NY area there is a chain called Mighty Taco."
"They were even voted best tacos a few years ago."
"It is absolutely terrible food."
"I’ve tried to like it and given them 3 chances."
"Each time I couldn’t eat more than a couple bites."
"Absolutely terrible and I’m disgusted even thinking about their sour vomit in a tortilla."- aa-2020
"I think I’ve answered this question before but definitely for me, it’s Subway."
"Nothing but a giant hunk of bread."
"I’m editing this to add that part of my anger about Subway is how good it used to be."
"I can remember the days of nearly a whole can of tuna salad delicious sub."
"And a Veggie sub with Swiss cheese and piles of yummy veggies and the sweet Vidalia onion sauce."
"It’s all gone to sh*t."
"I would’ve been perfectly OK with increasing price but the big drop in quality pissed me off."
"Oh woe is me with my first world problems."- Mysterious-Region640football ok GIF by Subway ColombiaGiphy
Quantity Doesn't Guarantee Quality...
"Starbucks is a scam."- cmkeller62
Tasty, But Not Worth It...
"I’m going to say Five Guys."
"Not because the food isn’t good, but because I’m not paying $20 for a burger meal."- 2PacTookMyLunchMoney
"Dairy queen grill and Chill for sure."
"I worked at one for a lil' while and 1 burger combo is $14.56 CAD."- lolidk13Ice Cream Miracle Treat Day GIF by Children's Miracle Network HospitalsGiphy
And Not In A Good Way...
Big Kahuna Burger, it kills you."-Darklock2022
No two people have the same taste in food.
Some people know to avoid crappy food, while others eat literally nothing else.
There are several movies I've watched so many times I think the viewings outnumber the days I've lived.
And much like a favorite tv series or movie, who wouldn't love to start again anew?
Experiencing that first time but with that feeling of... "I'm gonna love this forever."
We never appreciate the first time enough.
But that's life.
Warning: there are spoilers below.
Redditor Jacale1 wanted to discuss all the movies we wish we could experience new all over again, so they asked:
"What is one movie that you wish you could watch again for the first time?"
There are a lot of mystery movies I'd love to redo, just to figure out the killer sooner.
Gasps!Raining The Shawshank Redemption GIFGiphy
"The Shawshank Redemption."
"A great nominee. Will never forget gasping when that rock went through the poster, and again when the warden pushed his arm through and ripped it down.... wow."
Over and Over
"Edge of Tomorrow."
"Is it bad that I got enjoyment knowing Tom Cruise died a lot in that movie. Never on screen, but it happened. Over and over. I hate that guy. How the hell was he the same height as Nichole Kidman in the movies they acted in together. Rhetorical question."
"Honestly the whole reason I watched the movie to begin with is that he kept dying over and over."
“'Stardust'- if you don’t know you’ll never know."
"I’m surprised that a fantasy romcom can be so enjoyable, for a straight guy. It’s just the right balance between fantasy, comedy, drama, and romance. Most of the female cast are very easy on the eyes too."
"I swooned when Yvaine glows while dancing on the ship, and when she talks emphatically to the mouse in the caravan. This movie has a lot of A listers, and they deliver. I’m not gonna lie, I have probably watched it half a dozen times."
"The book has so much more in it, even having seen the movie you'll feel like a child again."
"I watched this with my wife, who has never seen it, and that's about as close as you can get to watching it for the first time. It really displayed just how good the movie is. Also I love Aliens just as much for different reasons."
"Came here looking for this! I watched it for the first time with my dad when I was 11, and it’s one of my favorite childhood memories. Amazing movie."
Hey Arnoldsci-fi GIFGiphy
"I first watched this as a kid when I knew Arnold was the good guy in movies, and I had not seen T1. I wish I watched T2 for the first time after having watched T1. The mall scene would have been even more mind blowing."
T2 was definitely bada**!! I'd redo that.
"Bro, I'll go further. If I could watch the Nicholson covered in blood scene or the final scene between Damon and Wahlberg, I would be so freaking happy. The sheer acting clout on display for the first is near a masterclass while the last scene was just so business like, I'd love to relive that scene with fresh eyes. I love this freaking movie."
"The original Star Wars. Man, that blew our minds! It totally changed movies from then on. We'd never seen such incredible special effects. The story was so fun and the experience was amazing."
"Even though I’m not a franchise fan, I can get behind this answer. Because when I saw it first run, I was fourteen, and nothing like it had ever been done. I think it was the first movie where the special effects were the movie? Now that’s standard. It’s a reason people see many films now."
"So, for sheer originality, I’d watch it again, but only for the first time. I barely recall the second movie."
"The 6th Sense. I audibly gasped in the theater. All the clues are obvious on rewatch but that first time, before anyone knew M. Knight Shyamalan was a twist guy... wow."
"I never got to see it the first time. My girlfriend at the time (now wife) inadvertently let slip the ending thinking I had already seen it. I have never seen the point in watching it knowing the ending. But I did enjoy The Village."
"I watched it again and it was more of a sad film than a thriller."
"Spirited Away. I was blown away by how beautiful and bonkers it is."
"Saaaaame! Every single Studio Ghibli film, but Spirited Away especially! I’ve still watched it a million times though, and it’s always special. If I’m in a bad mood that film always cheers me up!"
"Also, Avatar-the last air bender. I know it’s not a movie, but I felt like it deserved a mention. I’ve watched the whole thing several times, and it’s always great, but I do wish I could forget it and rewatch it. I’m 35 btw... lol."
Great Scott!Doc Brown Shock GIF by Back to the Future TrilogyGiphy
"Back to the Future."
"I'd love to watch that in the cinemas... Now from the future."
Now I want to go to the movies.
There is no one way to anybody's heart or libido.
Sexy doesn't always have to equal raunchy.
I've known people turned on by music, books, nature, and even funerals (don't ask).
What starts someone's engine is a mystery.
Redditor asexyjohn18 wanted to hear about all the things that get people in the mood, so they asked:
"What is a non sexual trait that turns you on?"
I love a walk. A little strut. Nothing like getting the heart racing.
Tingleshair GIF by SB NationGiphy
"Getting my head scratched or having someone run their fingers through my hair."
"Same. It’s so pleasant when the tingles run down your spine... ;-) "
"When a girl genuinely laughs at jokes I make."
"I remember being on a first date with a beautiful woman and I made a bit of corny joke/comment and she laughed at it. I remember thinking, damn, wait till I get to my good stuff. I did get to my good material apparently as we were married. She gives me as many laughs as I give her."
"Kindness. When I see someone going out of their way to help others for no other reason than it’s the right thing to do… that is some truly attractive vibes."
"Apparently it's vanishing from this world really fast. People who show kindness often end up in losses (of course not everytime but most of the time yes). It really breaks my heart."
"Probably the sexiest thing out there. Someone can be smoking hot, funny, talented, etc. But if they're not kind, they're unattractive."
"Smiling right at me, and men stretching. LAWD HAVE MERCY!!"
"I have trouble smiling at women. Is this a turnoff for them? And ones I like are really hard to smile at. Because I know it's always going to be some really weird big smile if I am crushing which makes me feel like a super duper creep."
SimplicityHappy I Love You GIF by Warner Bros. DeutschlandGiphy
"Sorry if this is too kinky but i like it when they care about me."
"Too far man. You need to rethink your choices."
Sometimes it's all about the heart.
Eye 2 Eyei see you GIF by VH1Giphy
"When a guy explains something to you in a calm and understanding voice. Bonus points for gentle eye contact."
"Being crazily intelligent. Screw dirty talk, I want you to explain some unexplainable s**t in my ear."
"Heck yes. My best connections have been with a philosophy/history professor turned chancellor, an environmental engineer, and a neurosurgeon, all 3 Summa cum laude grads and conference speakers in their fields. The downside to genius though is complete absorption in their fields leaving little time for in person connection."
"Everyone should know how to cook. Hunger knows no gender. I like to eat good food so I learned how to cook. I asked my mom one day and she reacted surprised. She was more than grateful to have an opportunity to teach me the ‘finer’ aspects of cooking, as she called it. Lol. I love food."
"My girlfriend, now wife, likes to jokingly say I got her into bed with a well seasoned steak and homemade fries. I mean we did sleep together almost immediately after we finished dinner so maybe she’s right. That old saying comes to mind. 'The quickest way to the heart is though the stomach.'"
"When I ask my husband for help when I repot my plants and he delicately cleans and moves the leaves. He is a mechanical engineer and he works with huge pieces of industrial equipment, seeing him so tenderly caring for my plants just makes me melt."
Limbs A LotExcited Thomas Lennon GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy
"Men doing intricate work with their hands."
"I second this, also someone who can play guitar/bass real real well... just watching their hands, whoa mama."
Well, it seems that just about anything can get someone in the mood, especially if you're kind, courteous, and especially a good cook.
Anything to add? Let us know in the comments below!