Babysitter can be such an awkward experience. Whether it's with the children or the parents, something about babysitting stories adds another level of cringeyness. Here are some of the most awkward encounters babysitters have had while on the job!
1/25. So I'm a female and I babysit two brothers (9 and 12). One day it was me, the brothers, and their dad in the car. The 12-year-old then randomly says "hey dad, don't sleep with this babysitter hahahaha".
Worst car ride ever.
2/25. I was once babysitting a 7 year old who was mad because I didn't allow him to go to his friend's house when his parents specifically said not to let him. He the proceeded to take a large knife and make small cuts on his arm and face and told me that he was going to tell his parents that I did it to him.
So I started secretly recording him in case the parents didn't believe me.
When his parents returned I had to explain the situation and of course they believed their precious son because he had (minor) cuts all over him and was crying hysterically. After being threatened, I showed them the video and they tried apologizing. At that point I was so fed up and annoyed and I left.
Needless to say, I never babysat for them again
3/25. Gave a four-year-old her bath. Halfway through, she pulls a small spoon out of her vagina.
She said she'd put it up there earlier. I asked if she had anything else inside her. She said no. Continued with bath.
4/25. I had to babysit a 16 year old. I'm 18. He wanted to have sex with me.
5/25. I was babysitting my boss' daughter, who was four years old and constipated.
The kiddo went to the bathroom, and remained there for like fifteen minutes, so I went in to find her after she did not come out. She was on the toilet, straining, of course. And I was about to leave her in privacy when she went and flailed her little arms and said the phrase that will live in my memory forever.
"You can't leave! You have to SQUISH me!"
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I had quite the WTF expression, I'm sure. So I went, "What?"
And she says, "When I can't poop, mommy and daddy always squish my tummy, so you have to squish me!" And she places one hand on her stomach, and one hand on her back, and demonstrates how to squish her.
So I accept her demands and gingerly put a bit of pressure on her stomach.
But, oh, no. "Harder! You have to squish me harder!"
So, I'm literally squishing the shit out of a small child for a few minutes until finally she breathes a sigh of relief and tells me she's done. She hops up off the toilet and there, in the bowl, is this tiny corn-kernal sized turd. I squished a baby for almost f*cking nothing.
6/25. I accidentally ate a stash of weed cookies when I was 12. In retrospect, it makes more sense now that they kept the cookies in the back of the cupboard above the refrigerator. I had to get up on the counter to reach them. I initially only planned on stealing one cookie, but I just couldn't help going back for more again and again. I was filling in for my cousin's usual gig, she was 16, she flipped when she showed up and found me all stoned.
7/25. In high school, I met a nudist family at the local nude beach. They asked me to babysit, figuring I'd be comfortable with their lifestyle. No problem, easy money. Two boys 7 and 9, we'll behaved. The weird thing was that as soon as the parents left for their night out, the kids would start putting on clothes. By the time, they got home we were usually bundled up watching scary movies on TV. The parents always seemed a little uncomfortable with that, like I'd been perverting their kids into putting on clothes.
8/25. Being six years old and barely being able to take care of myself, let alone an infant.
I came up pretty poor and my mom struggled to make ends meet. One day she had an interview and had to leave us (me and my brother who was 4) alone for 6 hours or so while she left to go to a job interview. Not to mention we were living out of a small motel room.
Anyway, I could handle my brother so that wasn't too bad but about 30 minutes later this junkie lady, who lived next door to us, knocked on the door calling for help.
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Since I knew her and saw she was in trouble I opened up the door. She then convinced me to babysit her 3 month old infant while she did god knows what and sh*t, I was six, what was I going to say, no.
The worst part was her leaving me nothing but some half-eaten food to feed the kid for the day. Hours later, my mom returned home and cursed me out for opening the door and taking the baby, though she knew that I was only trying to be nice.
The junky lady returned late that night and my mom went crazy on her. I never found out what happened to them, being that my mom got the job and we moved to an apartment soon after, but I hope that child ended up okay. I still think about it to this day.
9/25. New Year's eve. Parents come home midway through the evening to drop off one of their super drunk friends. He went to sleep in the three year old's bed and the kid kept going up to check on him like a little nurse. One of the kids reached for a glass of what I thought was water on the coffee table but I quick gave it a sniff and it was vodka that the parents left out when they went to the bars. Parents were so drunk they each tipped me a ton of money and told me not to tell the other party.
I made $90 that night which was amazing money in 1993.
10/25. Kid kept playing with his junk when I'd changing him and sing-song "playing with my pee pee.".
11/25. I'm a daycare provider. The weirdest thing that I have ever seen is one day I went in to work to find all the kids watching a scene from Futurama on loop. The dad looped the hypnotoad to see if it would work, and it did for about 20 minutes.
12/25. Was watching two boys, maybe 12 and 11. Well their parents liked to party quite a lot (one of the reasons they would pay me to watch their kids). One night they go out, order pizza for dinner and the delivery driver forgets the the soda. So the younger child says there is orange juice in the fridge, I grab the pitcher not thinking anything of it. Pour them each a glass, they drink and eat without saying word. Through the course of the night they keep pouring themselves cup full's of OJ. They start acting strange, stumbling, talking odd, etc. Call the parents and ask if I should do anything, then tell the parents everything they ate/drank.
Their dad ends up telling me the OJ was just a giant screwdriver that his wife and him were going to split when they got home. Luckily I didn't take too much heat for it because he said he should have warned me.
13/25. I babysat a 4 year old once, I was 20 at the time. In the basement lived a teenage brother to the 4 year old, a kid I wasn't told about until I walked in and the mom said "by the way my 17 year old is in the basement" as she ran out the door.
The little one went to sleep, the teen came up and asked me if I had any weed.
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More cringe-y stories on the next page!
14/25. I haven't babysat in awhile but when I was a teenager I watched two kids up the street. The mother was single and had another single friend with two kids so I usually watched them all. I knew they went out to party- which was fine because they'd come home drunk and pay me more than I expected. What I didn't know is how much they partied. One evening I went upstairs to get money for pizza. I found both moms in the bathroom snorting coke.
The worst thing was when they offered me some despite the fact that A) I was about to spend the night watching their young children and B) I was only 14 or 15 at the time.
15/25. I babysat a little boy who had severe emotional problems. One time he ran away while I was upstairs playing with his sister. He ran away to the park down the block, climbed a tree and refused to come down because "no one loved him". I was young and didn't think about calling the police or anything. I just sat at the bottom of the tree and literally talked him down. I convinced him that I loved him and wanted him to come home. His siblings also helped me by saying they loved him also. It was so scary.
16/25. I was babysitting an eight year old who got pissed because I wouldn't let her eat a shit ton of candy at midnight when she was supposed to be in bed... so she sat on the kitchen floor and urinated.
I made her clean it up.
17/25. "I'm gonna cut you" - from a 3yo girl because I told her it was time to get ready for bed.
18/25. When I was 13 I got a job babysitting for my neighbours. They had two little girls that were just the easiest kids to look after. The mom and dad were super nice people. Dad was a nurse that worked mainly nights and mom worked from home and would ask me over Friday nights so she could go out and have some down time. I quickly found out though that she was seeing other men.
The first night I went over there the mom informed me she would be home no later than midnight. Well 4am rolled around and I'm woken up by noise out on the porch and see her hastily kissing another man and shooing him off. She apologizes for being late, pays me (was $5 short) and I go home to my mom whose pissed that she kept me so late. The same thing happened two more times. She'd promise to be home at midnight and come home at 3 or 4 in the morning. Every time with a different guy. And every time would stiff me a little of what I earned. My mom put a stop to it and called her out on cheating on her husband. They ended up getting divorced not long after that.
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19/25. I babysat two girls maybe 8 and 6. Their mom said she was planning on being home around supper time. Well, supper time comes and goes and mom doesn't show. A few more hours and I receive a drunk phone call from mom. I asked her when she expected to be home and she said she didn't know. She asked to talk to her oldest and I put the little girl on the phone. Kid gets upset and runs out into the night. I panic but manage to find her. She was hiding in the yard, didn't get too far.
Anyway, long story short, it's now the next day and I call a friend of mine to take over since I was exhausted. Mom shows up 3 days later and gives my friend $20 to give to me. Im furious and vow to never sit for anyone again. A few weeks go by an her boyfriend shows up and apologizes for her actions and hands me $150.
20/25. Babysat my two year old brother and he ate his own sh*t.
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23/25. Mom and dad came home drunk, and fighting. The dad went out to walk the dog, and the mom locked the door with me inside. She kept saying "shh-shh," while the dad screamed from the outside.
She started saying things like, "He wants to kill himself instead of be with me - who says that?"
I reached for the lock to get out, and she pulled my hand back saying, "No, leave him for a while."
I waited as long as I could, then busted out of there.
24/25. I babysat regularly as a teen. One night it was business as usual. I had just laid the kids down for bed until I hear crying in the bathroom. Go in and the little one had a poop string hanging out of his bottom. I didn't want to pull it in case it was wrapped around something so I'm trying to keep this kid calm and call his parents. They don't answer. I call over and over with this kid freaking out. I call my mom who calmed me down, took their number, and then chain called them until she got a hold of them. They "rushed" home and took him to the ER.
Definitely my weirdest night. The string came out fine, btw. Apparently the kid liked yarn.. a lot.
25/25. I have rather hairy legs and I was wearing shorts. This four year old boy just gets on the floor and starts petting my legs like I'm a dog.
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.