If you're looking at Hollywood, mating is a delicate dance full of romance. But in the animal kingdom, anything goes. Here are some insane mating habits from our fellow members of the animal kingdom that are almost too shocking to believe!
1/19. Ever heard of the sport fencing? Well flatworms take this to a whole new level! Mating rituals with flatworms are combination of both fighting and sex.
Flatworms are hermaphrodites; meaning they have both male and female sexual organs. However, during sex, neither wants to be the female. Why?
Females have to bear children - a task that has a huge energy cost.
So what do two flatworms do when they decide to mate? They expose their double-pronged penises and fight! Both try to stab the other with their members. The loser gets inseminated through the skin, now a mother-to-be.
2/19. Time to put an interesting twist on the story of 'Finding Nemo'.
Clownfish live in schools of only males with the exception of one large, dominant female. Only the dominant male of the colony mates with the female.
Here's the twist clownfish are something called sequential hermaphrodites. That means clownfish can switch sexes throughout their life history! All clownfish are born male, but if the dominant female dies, the dominant male of the group with start eating more, growing in size and becomes the new dominant female.
Sorry Nemo, your father is actually your mother!
3/19. Dolphins are loved for their astonishing intelligence and friendly manner. But as it turns out they're also sexual deviants.
Male dolphins are super sexually charged and can mate multiple times every single day. This means that male dolphins are rarely satisfied you might even catch one humping a turtle or piece of coral reef!
But for all his fancy sexual tricks, the male dolphin only lasts an average of 12 seconds. Not such a stud after all!
4/19. In the hyena world, females rule. Not only are they larger and stronger than the males, but also much more aggressive.
Their claim to fame is an enlarged clitoris, known as a pseudopenis, which can be erected at will. In order for males to mate with this formidable creature, they have to insert their own penis into the females pseudopenis.
5/19. See that honey bee flying around lazily, looking for pollen from a flower? You may associate that little guy with honey, but now you add exploding genitals to the list! The virgin queen goes on her first mating flight with a dozen or so drones (male bees), all of which want to mate with her. Then, as the lucky fellas go to mate with the queen, their genitals snap right off inside of her!
May seem gruesome, but in the evolutionary sense it's a plus because the broken off sexual organ provides as a genital plug. This stops others from successfully mating with the queen.
Unfortunately for the male drones who had an exploding incident, they die shortly afterwards. Rough, huh?
More insane animal mating rituals on the next page!
6/19. What's the best way to emerge from hibernation at the end of a long season? An orgy, of course!
Female red-sided garter snakes release a pheromone that causes all the male red-sided garters to come "running", wriggling around her until they become one big clump, known as a mating ball.
Red-sided garters are the original swingers!
7/19. Ah, giraffes! The majestic creatures of the African savannah. As it turns out, these long-necked animals have some very strange mating habits. First, males face off to fight for the chance to mate with a female. They engage in practice known as "necking", where they 'joust' with their necks. Afterwards this tiring process, the two males mate with each other! Love is love, am I right?
Next, the victorious male goes over to the female giraffe and nudges her backside, prompting her to pee. He then takes a mouthful of her urine to determine if she's in heat (fertile). If this lucky lady is ready to make babies, he'll follow her around until she's ready to mate.
8/19. Mating can be a waiting game, and on the top of that game is the Galapagos Giant Tortoise. It takes 40 YEARS for one of these guys to reach sexual maturity.
No wonder they're raring to get going! Males compete over females by comparing neck sizes the one with the longest neck wins. Mating can then last up hours, so excited to be finally having the chance to get down and dirty.
As they say, "slow and steady wins the race"!
Males that lose competition for the female can be found frustratedly humping a rock or another male giant tortoise.
9/19. Stabbing your mate may help with your reproductive success? Turns out the common Garden Snail lives it's life by this rule.
Prior to mating, garden snails engage in an elaborate dance that can last up to 6 hours. Then, as the dance comes to an end, the hermaphroditic slugs move their genital pores as close as possible to each other and... fire a huge calcified dart into the other snail! Named "love darts", these arrow-like projectiles are thought to increase the chance of the snail's sperm survival after mating.
Mating can be a dangerous game, especially if you're a little garden snail!
More insane mating habits from the animal kingdom on the next page!
10/19. It's hard to live the sweet life when you're a male anglerfish.
Already terrifying creatures (as shown below), anglerfish females are multiple times the size of male anglers. Not only that, but finding a mate is crucial for the male, as he will die without a female host.
When a male angler does comes across a female, he bites into her side, mouth fusing to her skin, where he essentially becomes a sperm sac for her to use at will. The male depends on the female for nutrients for the rest of his sexual parasitic life.
Talk about a clinger!
11/19. The female North American porcupine has an extremely low libido except for a period of 8-12 hours every year. When she's feelin' in the mood, she releases this odour in her urine that attracts male porcupine.
Excited males then must fight each other for the chance to mate with her. Then, the victor decides to go ahead and show his affection for the female porcupine by... spraying pee all over her!
If she's receptive, she'll force the male to mate with her mutliple times, or find another male if her current beau gets too tired.
12/19. The Magnificent Frigatebirds are large seabirds that are completely black with the exception of a large red spot under their throat. While trying to attract a cute female frigatebird during mating season, males inflate their red throat pouches into a huge red balloon a process which can take up to 20 minutes. The male with the largest and shiniest throat is the most desirable.
Then, waggle their heads back and forth while shaking his wings and squawking, they try and get the ladies' attention. If successful, after mating the male in an attempt to keep his lady from checking out other large throated males in the colony he covers her eyes with his wing.
Cute!
13/19. Giant pandas are one of the most popular animals on the planet they're just so dang adorable! The only thing that beats out their extremely level of cuteness is their extreme level of laziness.
What contributes to giant panda's giant sense of laziness is having very little excess energy at their disposal. Although carnivorous in nature, 99% of their diet consists of bamboo, meaning that these cuddly idiots need to be constantly eating to gain enough energy of their massive form. Along with this and the stressors of being in captivity, giant pandas don't mate in captivity.
To get pandas in the mood, zoos have started showing these cute bears some x-rated panda porn with good results! Recently, there have been a number of breeding successes of giant pandas in captivity.
More hilarious and shocking mating habits on the next page!
14/19. Looking for a bit of romance in your life? Well look no further than oneof the most romantic animals on the planet the red velvet mite!
Males leave a little sac of sperm called a spermatophore on a leave or twig. Then, using a strand of woven silk, he creates an intricate path for the female to follow, leading to the sperm.
These paths are like little pieces of art, and the female will follow the trail of the"artist" she likes best!
15/19. A sure fire way to impress a lady is to have a sweet pad. Bowerbirds are no exception to this rule.
Male bowerbirds construct elaborate nests to attract their mate. Collecting colorful flowers, rocks and sometimes even garbage, they create a beautiful oasis for the perspective females.
These guys are the original interior decorators!
16/19. Ever thought, "hey, sex could be way more exciting."? Well argonauts (a type of octopus) would have to disagree.
Males are much smaller than the females of the same species. They only really have one chance to reproduce so they have to do it right! Filling one of their tentacles with sperm, the male inserts it into the female then it detaches.
Yep, the male leaves the tentacle inside the female! Guess the much larger females are just too intimidating for the tiny males to handle.
17/19. Trying to find a partner can be such an annoying process. Well the whiptail lizard has completely removed that from the equation all whiptails are female!
That's right, there's no sex in creating offspring, it all happens asexually. Therefore, essentially all whiptail lizards are clones of their mother!
Reproduction may not include sex exactly, but in order to stimulate egg production, females take turns mounting each other.
Girl power!
18/19. We've all heard the phrase "size matters". Well this especially holds true for the banana slug. Although all of these hermaphroditic slugs are well endowed with appendages as long as their body, if their junk is not similar size to the body of their partner, it will become stuck!
And once their stuck, the most common way for them to get free is by their angry partner chewing their genitals off.
Better safe than sorry, fellas.
19/19. Humans.
Yes, us. With all of the odd online dating rituals and complex flirting practices, any alien race stopping by would certainly say "WTF".
Sources:
Not all pet owners have the same relationship with their pets.
While anyone who decides to become a pet owner, or pet parent as some say, love their pets equally, some never ever let them leave their side.
Taking their pet with them to work, running errands, even on vacations.
Many pet parents even allow their pets to share their bed with them when going to sleep.
For others though, this is where a line is finally drawn.
Redditor Piggythelavasurfer was curious to hear whether pet owners allowed their pets to share their bed with them, as well as the reasons why they do/don't, leading them to ask:
"Do you let your pet sleep in your bed? Why/why not?"
The Tiny Issue Of Water...
"Absolutely not."
"I have fish."- Senior-Meal3649
Everyone Gets Lonely Eventually...
"I adopted an eleven year old cat the day before Halloween."
"She has mostly lived in my closet since I got her, and she hasn’t been too interested in coming out."
"Last night, she came out of my closet and jumped up on my bed, and crawled under my covers and curled up by my feet to sleep."
"I was so happy!"- YellowBeastJeep
The Comforting Reminder That You're Not Alone...
"I recently lost my Greyhound but I used to let him sleep on my bed with me."
"The company was nice and he was no trouble to have on my bed."- HoodedMenace3
Hungry Cookie GIF by De Graafschap Dierenartsen
Giphy
What Do You Mean Allow?
"I have no choice."
"She is a cat, cats do whatever they want."- Small_cat1412
"He lets me sleep in my bed."- Poorly-Drawn-Beagle
Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way
"I carry my old boy upstairs to bed every night."- worst_in_show
Hug GIF by The BarkPost
Giphy
Who Needs An Alarm Clock?
"I let my two cats sleep with me."
"They're so full of love and just want cuddles all the time."
"And so do I."
"We've all developed a lil routine."
"Get to bed, oldest sleeps on my feet to keep them warm, youngest lies in my arm while I lie on my side (she the little spoon), then when I snooze my alarm for work in the morning the youngest paws at my face and meeps loudly to wake me up."- GhostofaFlea_
Whose Bed Is It Anyway?
"Yes."
"They're also kind enough to let me squeeze into whatever space they've left for me."
"Although I do get a few dirty looks off them."- Therealkaylor
"I found this tiny kitten screaming her head off under a car."
"Would not come out."
"Got some food and some water in dishes."
"I stood by the tire so she couldn't see my feet."
"She got curious about the food and water and started gobbling it down."
"I thought she would bolt when I squatted down."
"She was too busy eating."
"I grabbed her by the nape of the neck and all four legs went straight out and she tried to scratch me to death."
"I got her in the door and tossed her toward the couch."
"She ricocheted off the couch as if she was a ping pong off a table and I lost sight of her."
"I put out food and water and a sandbox and did not see that kitten for three days."
"On the third day, I came home and she was on my bed pillow."
"I thought she would bolt when I came near, but she didn't."
"I wanted to sleep so I tried to scoot her little butt off my pillow."
"She would not go."
"I put my head down to sleep and that is the way it was from then on."
"She ran the roost."- Logical_Cherry_7588
sleepy kitten GIF
Giphy
Sleeping Is A Prerequisite...
"No, he's a cat and he cannot keep still during the night."
"He walks across the headboard, opens the closet doors, jumps into the windows and rustles the blinds, etc."
"If he would sleep he could stay, but alas, he's a ramblin' man."- Spong_Durnflungle
Saying No Just Isn't An Option...
"'Let'."
"Lol."
"It's a cat's world and I'm happy to be on her good side."- milaren
Felines Only!
"The cat does, the dog doesn't and the horse certainly does not either."- Xcrowzz
Angry Tom And Jerry GIF by Boomerang Official
Giphy
Is That My Hair On That Pillow?
"My dog is perfect."
"She comes up, cuddles til we start to fall asleep, then gets down to sleep on her bed so she doesn't get too hot."
"Jumps back up in the early morning for wake up cuddles."
"The hair everywhere is the only downside but she is so cozy, what can you do."- HoodieWinchester
It is easy to understand how some people are able to fall asleep more easily knowing their friend and protector is there, in bed, with them.
Though we can't blame others who don't want to run the risk of being scratched or bitten in the middle of the night either...
The old wives' tales.
They are the stories of legend.
I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.
Where did they originate?
WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!
You don't hear about them as much anymore.
It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.
But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.
Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:
"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"
"Wait an hour to swim after eating."
What a crock!
So many summer hours wasted.
I want revenge for that one.
Say Nothing
Giphy
"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."
LonelyMail5115
"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."
I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA
Say Something
"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."
Severe_Airport1426
"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."
crappycurtains
"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."
AlbinoShavedGorilla
Body Temps
"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."
chriseo22
"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."
"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."
apocalypticradish
Arms Down
"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."
Fatmouse84
10 Years Actually
Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Giphy
"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."
"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."
Gecko-911
I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.
This tale is haunting.
High/Low
Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace
Giphy
"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."
LeastFormal9366
"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."
IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI
The Cursed
"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."
"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."
SmoreOfBabylon
Stay In
"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."
"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."
worldbound0514
Dreams and Facts
"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."
"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."
mattshonestreddit
"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."
Darthdemented
Cracked
Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office
Giphy
"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."
Choice-Grapefruit-44
"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."
MacyTmcterry
I love my knuckles.
Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.
