I'm not exactly prone to winning things - but I do have one glorious moment of winnerhood that really is all I need in life. As a child, my church would throw Halloween parties every year. One year, I was handed a raffle ticket along with my trick-or-treat candy. At the end of the night, ticket numbers were called - mine was the last one called. I still didn't know what the prize was. Once I made it up to the stage to collect it, I was presented with a box of puppies and prompty LOST MY TEN YEAR OLD MIND. I thought I was just going to cuddle them, but nope! I got to pick out my brother and my best friend for the next decade. We named our little box puppy Bear not knowing he would grow up to be a massive doberman who weighed triple digits.
My very favorite picture of my brother is him during what we call "the Ginuwine era." He's standing next to Bear wearing an Auntie Anne's Pretzel t-shirt and it looks like a ridiculous 90's r&b album cover. I haven't really won anything since winning Bear, but c'mon... that one win was enough. One Reddit user asked:
Sweepstakes winners of Reddit, what sweepstakes did you win and was it all that you hoped for?
Spoiler Alert: a Halloween puppy in a box is still the best prize ever - but some of these are pretty decent.
Short story time: I once won a contest for HotWheels. It might've been a regional thing, I'm not sure. But it was 1999/2000. And my local WalMart had a display of HotWheels at the front of the store, with special sheets of paper and entry forms for a contest - Draw your own HotWheels car, and win the full year's collection of cars (it was like 200 cars!). I was 13, and hadn't even bought a HotWheels toy since I was like 8. But whatever, I thought it would've been fun.
I LOVED drawing (I stuck with it, and grew up to be a designer/illustrator, now in my 30s), so drawing a sweet car would be a piece of cake. I drew some kind of rocket powered dune buggy, with multiple views, and technical specs, and I even named it - "Dune-n-Zoom" or something cheesy like that. I mailed it in, and forgot about it.
About 2 months later, I get a letter saying I'd won! The year's HotWheels collection was mine! I just had to fill out some more contact info on their forms, and short questionnaire. Did so honestly, and mailed it back.
And only 4 days later, I got another letter, saying I was disqualified. I was 13, and the contest was only open to kids 5 - 12. So I didn't win the car collection. Got my first taste of the ugly side of Terms and Conditions that year. Still bummed about it.
Was a broke grad student who won free Chipotle for a year, and the same year I had free sandwiches for a year from another place.
Basically yeah, I was happy as hell.
So Much Marijuana
Someone I'm close to won a trip to California (big deal in our little town in Ky) for a music festival. They flew her and her husband out, took care of their hotel and food, and gave them $500 in spending money plus tons of other merchandise. The girl who won has intense Gastroparesis. Basically her stomach is paralyzed, she can't eat, and it's unbearably painful. The only thing that helps her? Marijuana. When she can't work and money is tight, most of her weed is given to her and it's not very good.
They gave them hundreds and hundreds of dollars worth of GREAT weed.
She said it was the best week of her life. She actually got to go on a trip where she could smoke legally and enjoy herself without being doubled over in pain.
Chili And The Amish
I almost never win things. I've won something two times in my life, one of which was a few weeks ago.
There was a fall festival that had a chili bar, where each bowl you buy gives you 2 raffle tickets in a prize drawing. The prizes were mostly food or gift certificates.
Well I paid for my bowl and two bowls up front for my wife since she wanted to try different things. They went ahead and gave me all the tickets, so I had 6 total. Then my wife went back for her second bowl, which the lady remembered I had paid for but she gave my wife two tickets for that bowl anyway.. so now we have 8 tickets.
We also got 2 tickets just for coming, apparently everyone got them.. so we had 10 tickets total. I ended up winning a gift basket full of food from a local Amish store. We still haven't finished it all!
Worked for a local shoe store my last year of undergrad. TOMS did a contest for multiple companies and when you sold their shoes, X amount of shoes gave you X number of your name put into a drawing. Needless to say I sold the hell out of Toms that month.
Got a call from California at the store one night (live in Indiana) and both my manager and myself lost it when it was a rep from TOMS calling to let me know I had won.
All expenses paid trip to LA with 5 other people representing their respective companies to hang out and learn more about Toms. Badass hotel overlooking a bay, free shoes and shirts, free meals at great restaurants with drinks pretty much anywhere we went. Got to be there for the "Day Without Shoes" where we were with a few celebrities.
Needless to say it was a pretty great, long weekend - pretty awesome company and I've been a supporter ever since.
Just 10 GallonsGiphy
I've won movie tickets on the radio a few times, but my mom once won a sweepstakes for 'free gas for a year'. It was actually 10 gallons of gas a week for a year, so it wasn't completely free. Just 10 gallons a week.
In 7th grade my grandma entered me in a sweepstakes to win a vip experience for the Pittsburgh Penguins from my local newspaper and I won. It was amazing I got to sit in the penalty box during warm ups, stand on the ice during the national anthem, meet a couple players, got signed puck and some other gifts, and amazing seats. Definitely the coolest thing I've ever won.
The Cracker Barrel Treasure
Early 80's, kid me entered random contest at the neighborhood Cracker Barrel. A year or so later got a 1oz solid gold coin in the mail. Not very exciting. I didn't even remember entering the contest.
I still have the coin in a safety deposit box
Waiting For Ariana
On a whim I entered into a sweepstakes for Ariana Grande tickets and meet and greet. Didn't think I'd win, but I did. The meet and greet was a joke, 1 1/2 hours of waiting for about 2 minutes of seeing her, and the concert was so bad we walked out of it after a handful of songs.
How Many Kids
I won $100 gift certificate to Toys R Us. I called our local shelter and asked how many kids they had. I can't remember the number now, but I went into Toys R Us and asked the manager if they could help. So I bought the exact number of boys a matchbox car, and the exact number of girls a small stuffed animal. The only disappointing thing about it was that because of privacy policies, they didn't allow me to actually give the kids the toys. I had to trust the shelter staff would give them out on my behalf.
That was a good day.
Jeep Grand Cherokee
My Parents won a Jeep Grand Cherokee in a raffle in the mid 90's.
I got to use it as my first car in the early 2000's. Complete junker at that point, but it was still my car. It had a problem where the gear would get stuck between park and reverse. It actually once rolled out of the garage and hit a bunch of trees. Not a good situation. Also happened to me while I was trying to get to second base with Mary. So year the Jeep Grand Cherokee proved to be a great cock blocker.
By the time it was no longer my car, the door hinge had rusted away, and I had to duct tape it shut and jump out of the window duke's of hazard style.
Good times, it actually got donated to a high school for repair practice.
The Accordion FoldGiphy
My aunt used to enter sweeps as a hobby. She worked off a sweepstakes newsletter and entered a few every morning. She has won a car, an above ground pool, countless trips including to Italy and Hawaii, lesser prizes like golf clubs, t shirts, hats. She won many tickets to Broadway shows, movies, concerts, cash. I remember when my daughter was a teenager she got a huge box of full size beauty products and makeup that my aunt won for her. So she was a lucky person in that respect.
However her husband died at 41 leaving her to raise four kids alone. So lucky? No. Did it make her hard life happier? Yes she loved getting the mail each day to see if she had any wins.
I'll share a trick she swore by. When filling out a card with your info that gets thrown in a drop-in box always accordion fold your entry. Then the person picking the winner has more "surface " to grab and it increases the chance you will be picked.
3 Days Later
Entered one of those contests as a kid where I had to buy $X worth of product to qualify, then fill in a participation form and mail it to the company.
Won a bicycle, claimed it and parked it outside my house.
It was stolen 3 days later. I didn't even get to ride on it once.
Had I Taken Someone Else...
I won a trip for 2 to Vegas to see an absolute legend in concert. Airfare and hotel accommodations were paid for, and it included backstage passes and a meet-and-greet. Food was the killer expense, the tickets were in the nosebleed section, and I took someone who I really regretted inviting, so the trip as a whole kinda sucked. But, I got an autograph and photos with the artist, and the concert was amazing. I also got a real kick out of taking photos from the stage looking into the crowd right before the show started.
The prize itself was all I'd hoped for - the free time wasn't. Had I taken someone else or gone alone it would have been a million times better.
I called in and won a pair of crocs from a local radio station. Needless to say, I never picked them up.
Won 2 tickets to a UFC fight in Vegas (was living there). None of my best friends could go. My ex-wife suggested that I take "Jim", a friend in our group who had recently moved to town. He ended up bragging the whole time about him screwing all of the girls in my wife's circle but always adds the comment, "...except for your wife, of course!"
Found out shortly thereafter that they were in a month's long affair. Still bugs me 15 yrs later that she encouraged me to hang out with her lover. F*cked up chick. Turned out to be the tip of the ice berg.
The Blushing Bride
My sister won her wedding dress. It was a contest on Facebook with a traveling wedding dress sale. One of the conditions of winning her dress was working the day of the dress sale. I worked the event with her as well as the other girls in the bridal party. It was a lot of fun actually, she got to choose her dress before the event started (worth 800$ at the sale, much more retail), and the woman running it liked how well we worked she paid us each 50$ which we didn't expect.
Red Power RangerGiphy
When I was about 8 or 9 I think Toys"R"Us was doing lottery for a life size red power ranger that talked when you pushed the symbol on his chest. My family ended up winning and thought it would be a good idea to put it in me and my younger brothers room but turns out a 5'8" man standing in the corner of your room is scary for children. It ended up in the basement but became a wonderful Halloween decoration to this day. 10/10 would win red power ranger again.
When I was a kid I won a draw for a free birthday party at my favourite restaurant!
Unfortunately I had written my birthdate (07/04) in dd/mm, and they read it in mm/dd, so they called in June.
They told me to call back in March and they would give it to me, so I did and they had forgotten :(
Change Of Plan
I won 4 tickets to a movie at the IMAX theater from a spin the wheel type contest.
Went to the theater to get the tickets. When I realized that these tickets were not zero out and are showing the full price on them. Ask my friend to try and return them since we had an hour before the movie started.
They have us back like $55, so we all took off brought a bunch of beer and like two grams of weed.
People Break Down The Exact Moment They Realized They Were Being Manipulated By Someone They Trusted
Manipulation is designed to be stealthy. We hardly recognize it when it's happening to us because our abuser has forced it to appear under wraps.
But when we recognize it for what it really is, we really feel like we've been smacked across the face. There is no other descriptor for it. Usually we've trusted and loved those that manipulated us.
A Platitude Of Pleasing<p>You never know where the next blowout is coming from. Any time something needs to be addressed, you might try to bring it up once, gently, if you're feeling brave. If you meet the slightest bit of resistance, or you don't feel like that fight in the first place, you just go "okay dear" instead. You find that you'll put the argument off until next time, and hope that whatever you thought to bring up won't have any consequences, because you'll be hearing about those, too. It sucks, and I'm glad you can speak about it in the past tense.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/TheGreatestAuk/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">TheGreatestAuk</a></p>
Wrong Or Right Or Just Not Agreeing?<p>When I started realizing that I was feeling like I was constantly walking on eggshells. I never knew which version of my friend I'd get when we saw each other, or when we hung out. I also just completely stopped disagreeing with them because I didn't want to hear them tell me how wrong I was if we didn't share the same viewpoint.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/WhatArcherWhat/" target="_blank">WhatArcherWhat</a></p>
Being Used<p>My best friend suddenly distanced herself from me. But every now and then she'd call and ask if I wanted to do something, and I was encouraged because I thought it meant that things were still good between us. It took me an embarrassingly long time to realize that she only called when she wanted to do something that required a ride, since she didn't have a car. The only thing I can say in my defense is that I don't use people that way so I didn't recognize user behavior. You can bet I do now.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Goldeverywhere/" target="_blank">Goldeverywhere</a></p>
Hiding The Receipts<p>I was living with my former best friend and his gf at the time. When I asked for grocery receipts (I trusted him & his ex to buy groceries bc I didn't have a car at the time + our work schedules were different so I couldn't go with them) and they wouldn't provide any. The only reason I became suspicious was bc they started asking for a ridiculous amount of money for my half and the actual amount of food wasn't adding up. Up until that point they never asked for a crazy amount and I was content with our groceries, but I noticed they became extremely greedy. When I then asked to see a banking statement, they wouldn't even provide me with that either.</p><p>At that point I just realized they were finessing me out of extra money and I started buying my own food. I just bit my tongue bc we only had like 2 months left on the lease. They tried to gaslight me and make me seem like the bad guy any chance they had (almost the entire time I lived with them actually). Eventually, I grew apart from him once I moved away and the only reason he hit me back up was bc she cheated on him so he probably didn't have anyone else to turn to (go figure). We don't talk anymore.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/0MG1MW3T/" target="_blank">0MG1MW3T</a></p>
Ah Yes, Good Old DARVO<p>My mother and I have always had a rocky relationship. She's always encouraged me to tell her what's wrong, however, any time I would she'd immediately go "sorry I'm such a terrible mother, I give you everything you want and it's still not good enough! Why don't you just go live with someone you don't hate?" Keep in mind this happens over small things such as "mom, I'd appreciate it if you'd knock before coming into my room. You know how easily I startle and you barging into my room really upsets me"</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/paytonc0510/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">paytonc0510</a></p>
How Do You Do This To Someone<p>8 years into the relationship. As we're sitting down he explains to me that the "first couple years" we were together he only saw me as a place to crash and free rides, but he loved me NOW, and even though I accomplished all the goals HE set for ME so we could get married he said "I never really thought you could do it". Oh and also you got fat, but don't worry we can fix it! It was like a magic veil lifted and I finally saw who he really was. F**k you James.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/DoNotUseOnHumans/" target="_blank">DoNotUseOnHumans</a></p>
Be My Friend And Not Theirs<p>She always managed to make me do things I didn't really want to do but the last straw was when she decided I had to stop being friends with two mates of mine over something stupid that offended her. </p><p>Cut her off over that and she then proceeded to act derisively ("you'll come back"), then badmouthed me and then begged me to take her back. Ten years later I am still friends with those two guys and she's still out of my life.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/FatherTedHackett/" target="_blank">FatherTedHackett</a></p>
Victim Time<p>When literally every time me and my mom talked she played the victim.</p><p>I was trying to help her raise me, ask me about my grades and stuff. For her I just existed, she wasn't responsible at all.</p><p>I grew up watching her play the victim to others, and I was always on her side, cuz she's my mom you know. Also I never really understood what was going on.</p><p>I started getting older and older, and seeing sh*t after sh*t she did. I understood what she did to my father, to my step-dad, to my sister, to her friends.</p><p>Probably I'd be the next one who she would use and throw away.</p><p>I talked to her... and you know the result. The victim. Nothing it's her fault.</p><p>The last time we talked, I was expecting the victim card. When she started speaking, I already knew what was going to happen. I didn't even said a word, I just agreed with her, and the next day I moved out. I'm not wasting my time.</p><p>It was the last day before quarantine, I remember it as if it was yesterday. Friday night: saturday morning I was packing my stuff.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/NotFromHeel/" target="_blank">NotFromHeel</a></p>
Sixteen Years Of Made Up Lies<p>After 16 years of marriage I realized my now ex was manipulating me. I would work and take care of the house and if I asked him to do something like get a job or clean up he would stage a mental breakdown and make me feel bad for asking him for help. </p><p>He would play up a horrible childhood or PTSD from the military to make me feel like I need to take care of him. Then would play on his computer all day and smoke while I worked. </p><p>Found out that a lot of his horrible childhood stories were made up and that he never made it through basic training in the military. I am happily with someone now but still catch myself cringing when he does things like cook or clean thinking that he is going to yell at me for being lazy. Meanwhile he loves me and is just doing things to take care of me. I'm working on deprogramming myself.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/HolyCelestialCow/" target="_blank">HolyCelestialCow</a></p>
Sometimes It's The Mother-In-Law<p>Took me until after the engagement to realize that my cheating ex fiancee was trying to browbeat me into submission.</p><p>Anywho, I quickly recognized emotional blackmail and manipulation from my MIL after getting married to a different girl years later due to that experience. I called her out on it.</p><p>She... Doesn't like that. But since my wife and sister-in-law and brother-in-law also recognize it they've got my back.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/engineertr1gg/" target="_blank">engineertr1gg</a></p>
Just as new mothers encounter the sudden, influential developments of powerful hormone changes, protective instincts, and milk production, so new fathers undergo some key changes of their own.
Their socks become exclusively white, climbing higher up the calf than ever before. All their shorts sprout cargo pockets and clunky belt loop cell phone holders. They start to really lean in to their old records.
Regional Laws<p>"Dad, driving past a cemetery: Did you know anyone living in a 3 mile radius of a cemetery isn't allowed to be buried there?"</p><p>"Me: No, I had no idea. How come?"</p><p>"Dad: Yeah, you're not allowed to bury the living"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk1d2k?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">TinyLuckDragon</a></p>
For the Face Plant Image<p>"Why do Scuba Divers fall backwards off a boat?"</p><p>"Because if they fell frontwards they'd still be on the boat" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjv4mt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">hatsnatcher23</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Just told this one to my bf and he still has his face in his hands" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjka0w7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">sxeoompaloompa</a></p>
A Mammal of Few Words<p>"What did the father buffalo say when his child left for school?"</p><p>"Bison" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjp257?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">TatooineLight</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"LOL" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjp9p0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">BennuH</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Told this to my brother, he laughed his a** off." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk4cvq?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Type10Civilization</a></p>
Baggage<p>"When I do home improvements I always use my step ladder"</p><p>"I never knew my real ladder" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjlkab?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">DavosLostFingers</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Whoever took the ladder, please return it or further steps will be taken." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjm2htz?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">WaldhornNate</a></p>
Woah Woah Woah, We're in Public<p>"Me: I'm not very hungry, I just want something easy"</p><p>"Server: maybe the chicken strips for $6"</p><p>"Me: maybe it does, but that doesn't help my hunger" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjuq78?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">mcnoobs_</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"My husband was facepalming for solid 8 minutes after I read that joke to him." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjnee7m?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Madanax</a></p>
Not Wrong<p>"Two dudes were on a boat with a few cigarettes, but they didn't have anything to light them, so they threw one of the cigarettes out of the boat, and the boat became a cigarette lighter." </p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjkeoz?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">OrangeMirrorJuice</a></p>
Watch the News Before Saying This One<p>"Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?"</p><p>"It's okay, they eventually woke up."</p><p>"I cringe every time." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk0ej7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">unicorndreamz94</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"My 10 year old tried this one a few weeks ago. Unfortunately, I had just read news about a missing local girl. 'So I answered that yes I heard about the missing girl' Scared the sh** out of my 10 year old" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjo3ssv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Aubear11885</a></p>
Got a Million of Em<p>"What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fshhhh."</p><p>"I'm sorry but I'm about to say something tasteless. Water."</p><p>"I got fired from my job at the calendar factory. I took a day off."</p><p>"Unfortunately though, I can't really tell these jokes since I'm not a dad. I'm a faux pa."</p><p> -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk9igl?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">WholeGrainMustard</a></p>
G-Pa With the Physics Humor<p>"Why does the movie "speed" have no director?"</p><p>"If it had direction, it'd be called velocity!"</p><p>"-my grandpa, earlier today" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk4wdo?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ConceptUpset4681</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"That's better than a regular dad joke. It's a grand dad joke." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjkuc30?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">VaultBoy9</a></p>
A Surprising Amount of Elevator Humor<p>"I have a joke about elevators."</p><p>"It works on so many levels......." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk1lrv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">M0ntgomatron</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Did you hear about the corruption at the elevator company?"</p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"It went all the way to the top." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjkyjrp?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">RandomName222222222</a></p>
Cleaning up is hard enough when it's just clearing a month of dust bunnies. Can you imagine cleaning the debris left by murder, suicide and violence? I have a really great friend who used to do crime scene clean-up for a living. The pay is incredible; it starts at $55 an hour. But there is a much higher cost in mental well being. Death affects you in ways you don't always feel immediately. My friend has stories of nightmares, depression and pain after leaving scenes of horror. Why make all that money just to spend it on therapy? It takes a certain type of person.
***TRIGGER WARNING. CONTENTS ARE SENSITIVE ***Redditor u/MemegodDave wanted to hear from the people who have the stomach to come in after crime and tragedy
to try to bring back some form of normalcy to the location by asking... People who make their living out of cleaning murder scenes, accidents and the like, what is the worst thing you have experienced in your career?
Wrapped Up<p>Dad had to saran wrap a guy's intestines back into his body once.</p><p>Dude had surgery and pushed too hard on the toilet. Dude was fine, according to Dad, just holding himself together on the toilet while a group of firefighters tried to figure out why the hell they were sent instead of paramedics.</p><p><em>Update</em> When he pushed too hard he opened a scar on his torso/ab area and it all fell out onto his lap. Should have mentioned this when I wrote the post. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l48wk3/people_who_make_their_living_out_of_cleaning/gko9lq0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">noblemile</a><span></span></p>
Flesh<p>One that stuck with me was a suicide in a bathtub, we couldn't drain the tub, so had to use a coagulant then scoop up the bloody mess into biohazard bags. Same for the toilet. Another was a suicide by gun in a basement full of boxes which was a nightmare to clean as even the smallest bit of flesh had to be found and cleaned up. The smell of the smallest piece of flesh meant the job wasn't done until it was found. </p>
Walk Away<p>Medic here, first responder to a motorcycle collision. Guy who crashed was a friend. He'd been torn in half and almost decapitated.</p><p>Had to walk away from the scene and let my driver and another crew handle it. Think about it daily. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l48wk3/people_who_make_their_living_out_of_cleaning/gko4y58?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Sabre-23</a><span></span></p>
All over the House<p>I posted this on another thread so just copy and pasted it but this was one that I had to do</p><p>Clean up after a murder. It was a rehab house for ex cons, 4 bedroom house with communal bathroom and kitchen. Sunday morning and guy A is in his room listening to music pretty loud, guy B is in the kitchen cooking his breakfast, B knocks on A's door and tells him to turn it down, there's a small argument and B returns to his breakfast and A turns his music up. So B grabs the biggest knife in the kitchen, kicks in A's door and stabs him through his left shoulder, entering by his collar bone. </p>
"ride-alongs"<p>Not a cleaner, but my brother's best friend is a police officer and I heard all about this horrible experience:</p><p>My brother's friend took him on "ride-alongs," all the time. One day, they were responding to a welfare check. This guy's neighbor saw his apartment door cracked open for several days and called the police. They went to check it out and found a college student (18-19) who had shot himself. </p>
Melt Away<p>When I was a bartender, a couple of clients told me the worst part about the job is cleaning melted bodies.</p><p>I don't know the science behind that, but from what I understand is if a body stays for a while in a certain condition of temperature and humidity, it melts. And those guys have to remove that person's remains in buckets. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l48wk3/people_who_make_their_living_out_of_cleaning/gknsqfm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Kaynny</a><span></span></p>
Audrey<p>I had a great uncle who helped clean up the bodies left behind by hurricane Audrey in 1957 and he said that the smell persisted in his nose for weeks after. It got so bad that he went to the doctor to see if they could do anything and they clipped all of his nose hairs and the smell went away. It was explained to him that the smell had soaked into the hair but I don't claim to know the validity of that statement.</p>
Hazard<p>One of my first jobs after moving I did this, and the job that had me walking wasn't even a scene as described. We did all types of hazmat cleans and the worst was actually a couple went on vacation and came back to backed up sceptic. Think about 1 ft thick hard dried out crusty sceptic waste spread throughout the entire 1st floor of a house. Not going further into detail here. Was nasty.</p><p>Septic, not sceptic. On break and mobile, so yeah... </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l48wk3/people_who_make_their_living_out_of_cleaning/gknvzn8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Kamenovski</a><span></span></p>
After the Crash...<p>Working for a tow truck driver that get the calls after crashes. The worst one for me was a family of 6 coming back with over 10 pizzas for a baseball team. It was a head on with a tractor trailer (18 wheeler). The ambulance took the bodies away of course, everyone died but one little guy. There was so much blood and vomit, diapers, toy dolls covered in blood, the pizza was everywhere inside of the car like 2" thick on everything and all over the road. </p>
Fresh Meat<p>Friend of mine does this.</p><p>His worst was an elderly woman who died in a bath. Skin falls off like long cooked meat. So he just saw piles of skin/flesh</p><p>God just writing this makes me gag. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l48wk3/people_who_make_their_living_out_of_cleaning/gknwqwu?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">PlagueDoc22</a><span></span></p>
We all know the telltale signs that something is making us uncomfortable. Suddenly, we begin shaking, either in our hands or knees or toes. Then, usually, sweat starts pouring out of every part of our body, making it look like we just ran through a rainstorm underneath a waterfall. Finally, we lose our regular speech functions. Everything goes out of sync and our words don't match up to what's in our minds.
What's interesting is that what usually brings about these fits of uncomfortableness differs from person to person, as evidenced by the stories below.