The things that the people in the medical people see on the regular could haunt the dreams and days of an average person. What are some of us thinking? How in the world do we get certain foreign objects in our bodies? And most of the time the craziest things we implant are when we're stone cold sober. Why is humanity like this?! Stop sticking things were they don't belong!
Redditor u/ZenyatasBalls96 wanted to hear from the surgeons out there regarding the dopes they've treated by asking..... Surgeons of Reddit, what was the dumbest thing you had to remove from someone?
Pre-ER.
I into a hawthorn bush a few years back, when out for a walk. I didn't seem to be hurt, but there was a small, round brown dot on the side of my little finger, right at the lower knuckle. And the joint didn't want to bend.
Curious, I took the tweezers from my Swiss Army knife and pulled at the dot... and out slid a 3/4-inch Haw-thorn. It didn't hurt, the knuckle worked fine, and it never got infected. Nature's needles, those things. carmium
With BBQ Sauce?
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ER surgeon, had to remove a chicken nugget from someone's bum. And no not a partially eaten one, a full, perfectly kept chicken nugget lodged unusually far up someone's butt.
This seemed rather recent, the guy showed up with his buddies and they were all clearly drunk. The reason the man required surgery was because the way the nugget was lodged. It was stuck behind the rectum, closer to the sigmoid colon.
The nugget would've passed on its own eventually, however we were worried about potential blockages and infection. The procedure required no cutting, so we opted in favor of surgery to avoid any complications.
It would have eventually, but the consequences of waiting were uncertain.
Don't Swallow.
A condom, no... not auto correct, I had to remove a condom from a patient's small intestine. They swallowed it. EarthySwing1029
The Abs....
My mum once spent an evening removing fish, chips and several pints of beer from a guy's abdominal cavity. H e got drunk and tried to kill himself by stabbing himself in the heart. But he missed and stabbed his stomach instead... so his dinner ended up floating around his abdominal cavity. err-what
11 Inches?!
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11 inch cucumber, pickle jar and shards of glass. cassie039
Usually i let them pickle in the fridge for a couple weeks, but i guess this would work too. thesmokestack
Why is it always the butt?!
Not a surgeon but a nurse here. My patient had to get a 5 pound metal dumbbell remove from his rectum. The whole thing was shoved in there. Everyone was pretty amazed he pulled that off. He did serious damage to his insides though.
I also had a patient who "fell" on the large cap of a can of carpet cleaner and it lodged in his rectum.
We actually have a lot of people shoving stuff up their butts and not being able to get them out. Easy-Growth
Quite Impressive.
Not a surgeon but was on my ER rotation in med school. A guy came in and he had stuck an 8 inch glass dildo up his backside too far and lost it. I took a picture of the CT scan on my old phone. It was quite impressive to say the least. Tuhrontoh_TML
slurp....
Not about a person and I'm not a doctor but thought this was interesting/funny. When I was a kid our poor bloodhound LOVED to get into the trash. One day my mom saw him in the backyard really struggling to pinch it off so she walked out there to see what's up. She saw a still intact bread bag hangin' out his backside. She stepped on the end to give it some grip and I kid you not this dog took off running with a lil slurp upon exit. Poor guy.
And yes, we immediately got a trash can he could no longer access. stevegburg69
A Sand What?
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I am not a surgeon but i knew someone who ran the x-rays at the hospital and she told me about this old man in his 60s that had to get a sand pit shovel removed from his butt. And it was entirely inside of the anus. tntreigns
Congratulations! It's a... Phillip's?
I'm OB/GYN. A patient came to Labor and Deliver around midnight with the following complaint, "My boyfriend was putting the crib together and he left stuff all over the bed. I was tired so I lay down to sleep and I think something got up inside me." I did a vaginal exam and pulled out a screwdriver, philips head. Thankfully it was handle side first, not pointy side towards baby. Papdoc
Bad Hopper!
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Grasshopper leg from underneath the conjunctiva (outer layer of skin on the front of the eyeball).
Grasshopper jumped hard, ran into his eyeball. Got stuck and wiggled, part of the leg broke off. Grass-limper got away, but the foot/ankle did not. monkeysa47
STUCK!
Crayon from an ear canal.
Shampoo bottle from the rectum.
Jar of coconut oil from the rectum.
Rolled ball of aluminum foil from a male's urethra.
Pencil from a male's urethra.
There's more but those are the ones that stick out. Unluckily for them, those didn't... stick out... SucculentOwl
allegedly!!!!
When my friend was doing her nurses training in the ER a guy came in with an empty jam jar stuck up his bum, his excuse? - He had just had a shower & (whilst still wet) sat down in his chair. What he hadn't noticed was the empty jam jar on the chair & because he was wet & as a result, slippery the jam jar just happened to "slip" up his bottom... allegedly! Stabby-the-cat
Silly Corgi!
So true. Had a corgi who swallowed a cooked chicken whole, bones and all. No problem. He liked chewing up razor-sharp mussel shells, dead horseshoe crabs. The best was his expression when he licked up a gumdrop covered with tiny brown ants. He loved dried-up worms on the sidewalk. He was a tough guy, but even with that digestive tract he nearly died from food-poisoning a couple times! waupakisco
Go for 3?
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Oh man, not a surgeon but I did this.
Was eating jelly beans in the living room and I was not supposed to be eating in the living room. My dad came in and so I hid them in the most logical spot, my nose. Couldn't get them out so I had to go to the hospital to get them removed. Didn't do this once, but twice. squiddo_the_kiddo
THE WORST SMELL
I was running anesthesia on a chocolate lab for a foreign body surgery. Turns out he ate the owners used menstrual pad. That was THE WORST SMELL I have ever experienced in a career of pulling rotting garbage out of dogs intestines and cleaning up crap on the daily. BlackoutXForever
Mommy's First...
My friend had a child at 16 and was terrified of not being a good mother. She read lots of books and took every free parenting classes that was out there at that time.
Her daughter was around 2 when she started smelling really bad from her nose. She took her to the Doctor immediately still really scared of being called an unfit mother. The Doctor took a look and laugh. The kid had put a toy loose stuffing in her nose. They took it out and she was fine. She told me that she cried at lot more than her daughter. sonia72quebec
Turkey Day Chronicles.
Former nurse, called to ER for to set up for foreign body removal on Thanksgiving evening. OK someone didn't chew their turkey... super predictable holiday call. Arrive at ER and Doc says to set up a colonoscopy. Wait what? 20 y/o male had "fallen" on a shot glass. Look at the x-rays and yep, there it is' but something didn't look quite normal about it. Start the scope and find a rainbow blinking LED shot glass. Doc says, "So you think he wants us to take it out or just change the batteries?" mtcrabtree
Leave it In!
Honestly, a tiny, insignificant little speck of metal that a guy got in his arm. There was literally no reason it needed to come out because it had been there a long time and had never gotten infected or caused a problem. But he was absolutely dead set on having it out, even when I warned him that digging it out of his muscle was more likely to cause bleeding, scarring, pain, etc.
And he wasn't willing to do it with just local. Oh No. Had to be put under full general anesthesia, and after 3 minutes of waiting for the prep to dry I then spent about 4 seconds making an incision and popping out the dumb thing.
Second dumbest was a kid who fell in the woods, landed on an outstretched hand, and had a wound on their palm that never healed for literally months. Eventually got sent to me for evaluation, and I numbed up their hand and pulled out an almost one inch long chunk of some kind of plant stem that had been jammed up in their hand the whole time.Immortal_So_Far
A what box?
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I worked in a hospital that kept an "Butt Box" full of stuff pulled out of people's butts.
There was a full size stapler in it. hokeyWB
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
homer simpson episode 23 GIF
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
Disney World GIF
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.
For many childhood memories are overrun by living nightmares.
Yes, children are resilient, but that doesn't mean that the things we see as babes don't follow us forever.
The horrors of the world are no stranger to the young.
Redditor -2sweetcaramel- wanted to see who was willing to share about the worst things we've seen as kids, so they asked:
"What’s the creepiest thing you saw as a kid?"
Serious Danger
"Me and my best friend would explore the drainage tunnels under the Vegas area where we grew up. These were miles long and it was always really cool down there so it was a good way to escape the heat of our scorching hot summers. We went into this one that goes under the Fiesta casino and found a camp with a bunch of homeless people."
"Mind you we are like 11 years old lol. And we just kept going like it was nothing. It wasn’t scary then but when I look back at it we could have been in some serious danger. Our parents had no idea we did this or where we were and we had no cellphones. We could have been kidnapped and never have been found."
oofboof2020
Waiting for Food
"I was at a portillos once when I was 12 and I was waiting with my little brother at a booth while my parents got our food. This guy was standing with his tray kind of watching me then after a couple of minutes he started to walk over really fast not breaking eye contact with me."
"He was 2 feet from the table and my dad came out of nowhere and scared the s**t out of him. He looked so surprised and just said he wanted to see if I’d get scared or not. He left his tray full of food near the door and left. My folks reported him but we never went to that location again since we found a better one closer to home."
nowhereboy1964
Captain Hobo to the Rescue
"When I was a pretty young teen, my friends and I were horsing around in San Francisco and started hanging out to smoke with some homeless guys. Another homeless dude came up and began aggressively trying to shake us down for anything (money, smokes, a ride, drugs- all of it) and wouldn’t take no for an answer."
"We got in over our heads and could tell this guy was now riling the other 2 guys up and they were acting like they wanted to jump us. Some grandfather-looking old homeless man appeared out of nowhere and yelled at us to get the f**k out of here- nice kids like us don’t belong down here at this hour!!"
"Captain Hobo saved our lives that night. My parents sincerely thought we were at a mall all day lol."
FartAttack911
Survival
tsunami GIF
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"I was 7 and survived the 2004 tsunami in Thailand. Witnessed the wave rise way above the already massive palm trees (approx. 40ft?) and my family and I watched/heard the wave crash into the ground from a rooftop."
faithfulpoo
These Tsunami stories are just tragic.
On the Sand
Scared The Launch GIF by CTV
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"We were a group of kids who went to swim in a local lake. And there was a dead body on the beach with their hands raised and their legs bent unnaturally that local police just took out of the same lake. I've never put my foot in these waters again."
oyloff
Be Clever
"I was walking to school and I was about 5 or 6 years old and some guy pulled up beside me in his car and asked if I would get in. He also offered me sweets to do so. I said no. The creepy bit was when he calmly said ‘clever boy’ to me, then drove off. I’ve never even told my parents or anyone else about this as it would most likely freak them out."
OstneyPiz
Bad Jokes
"Dad's side of the family pranked me by burying a fake body on our back property and had me dig it up to find valuables. Was only allowed to use a lantern for light. They stuffed old clothes with chicken bones. Sheetrock mud where the head was... Random fake jewelry as the treasures... I was like maybe 10 or 11.. I remember digging up the boot first and started gagging because it became real at that point."
Alegan239
YOU
Who Are You Reaction GIF by MOODMAN
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"Woke up to find my little brother staring at me in the dark, asking, Are you really you?"
PrettyLola2004
Siblings can really be a bunch of creepers.
No one should talk to others in the dark though.