When it comes to the life of a patient, precision is one key factor of utmost importance.
"The Reality Of Being A Surgeon"
<p>"Actual surgeon's take: Got into the wrong intermuscular plane during the initial approach to an anterior based hip replacement and damaged the patient's femoral nerve. They have permanent paralysis of their quad as a result."</p><p>"The reason this thread is mostly full of joke answers and third-party retellings is that mistakes like this can be hard to talk about, even behind an anonymous throwaway account.</p>A Patient's Perspective
<p>"From the patient side, that is so spot on. I had a surgery and the only issue was a post op complication in which I felt abandoned. It was not life threatening, but it was difficult. I never blamed my surgeon, but his demeanor changed some after so perhaps he blamed himself. I should send him a card thanking him for what he has given me."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kpwzi4/surgeons_of_reddit_what_was_the_biggest_mistake/gi1n30v?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a><a target="_blank">glaive1976</a><br></p>The Double Mastectomy
<p>"Not a surgeon but I am a histotech (we work in the pathology lab where all the specimens are sent)."</p><p>"A surgeon did a double mastectomy based off a different hospital systems pathology report. Basically the report said she had the kind of breast cancer where both breasts need to be removed."</p><p>"But we found zero cancer in either breast."</p><p>"He was sh**ting bricks so we submitted both breasts IN THEIR ENTIRETY... That's a <em>ton</em> of blocks and it's unheard of to submit all the tissue like this but he needed to find cancer."</p>Wrong Knee
<p>"Med student here, I was watching a knee operation when the surgeon suddenly stopped, looked towards the staff absolutely shocked and asks 'this is the wrong knee, isn't it?'"</p><p>"Basically he was told to operate the wrong knee and halway trough he realized it was too 'good looking' to be the knee that needed the operation. Luckily there was no permanent damage done, the team reknit everything together and rescheduled the surgery."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kpwzi4/surgeons_of_reddit_what_was_the_biggest_mistake/gi0orlw?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a><a target="_blank">Icnaredef</a><br></p>Screw It
<p>"Once the screw is in, the surgeon says to close up. Someone asked if the screw should protrude as much as it was, to which he responded 'no, but we can get away with it, and you never want to take a screw out and put another in as you essentially wear the thread of the bone '. Then silence for about 10 seconds while I feel them shifting wrist around followed by 'actually we better put a smaller screw in.'"</p><p>"When I was in recovery the surgeon was suprised how quickly I woke up and had a slight look of suprise when I told him I was only under local. Next thing he said was 'surgery went well..."'</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kpwzi4/surgeons_of_reddit_what_was_the_biggest_mistake/gi1fj0e?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a><a target="_blank">voltorbz</a><br></p>Cheap Glasses
<p>"Not the surgeon, and I'm sure not even sort of his biggest 'mistake', but this was one of the more bizarre things I've witnessed in an OR. Surgeon brought a bad pair of glasses."</p><p>"So here we are, total hip replacement. Surgeon is going to town with what I lovingly call the human grater, which is a doohickey to make sure the new hip socket will fit in. Picture a cheese grater wrapped around a golf ball on the end of a power drill. It's not pleasant."</p><p>"Anyway. Dude's grinding away at the feller's hip and sudden yelps in surprise and stops, backing quickly away from the table."</p><p>"We're all like, the f*k?"</p>Mcvet
<p><br>Veterinarian here. We do quite a few surgeries so I hope this counts a real response.</p><p>"Mistakes" likely happen all the time. From nicked blood vessels to skin/organ tears. Most are probably fairly minor.</p><p>In the veterinary world, I've certainly heard stories of male animals having an abdominal incision during a neuter since someone thought it was a female for a spay. </p><p></p>Basic math
<p><br>My mother's surgeon: "Well, not doing basic math correctly and sewing up a woman having spine surgery with 2 sponges still inside of her."</p><p>My mom was 20+ years sober so she refused most of the pain meds. When they had to confess they f--ked up, she had a mental breakdown facing all that pain again.</p><p>She got a lawyer and they settled ASAP, about $50K. Mom thought that was fair, but my godfather is a retired federal prosecutor and said it would have been $100K easy with another attorney.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Cinemaphreak/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Cinemaphreak</a><span style="background-color: initial;"><em></em></span></p>NegligenceÂ
<p>When I was in school I had an instructor who took a job as VP of patient care at a big American hospital. She said there was a patient who had been on the unit for a year and the hospital was footing the bill. When they told her why it was just about the worst thing I've heard:</p><p>He was in for a brain surgery and they had removed the a large section of his skull to access the brain. Then they dropped it on the floor.</p><p>They tried to clean it up and they apparently gave him lots of post op antibiotics, but he inevitably developed encephalitis or meningitis or well probably infection of the whole head.</p><p>Not necessarily the surgeon who dropped it...</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Thepoopsith/" target="_blank">Thepoopsith</a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kpwzi4/surgeons_of_reddit_what_was_the_biggest_mistake/gi1lh8a/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"></a></p>The things that the people in the medical people see on the regular could haunt the dreams and days of an average person. What are some of us thinking? How in the world do we get certain foreign objects in our bodies? And most of the time the craziest things we implant are when we're stone cold sober. Why is humanity like this?! Stop sticking things were they don't belong!
Redditor u/ZenyatasBalls96 wanted to hear from the surgeons out there regarding the dopes they've treated by asking..... Surgeons of Reddit, what was the dumbest thing you had to remove from someone?
Pre-ER.Â
<p>I into a hawthorn bush a few years back, when out for a walk. I didn't seem to be hurt, but there was a small, round brown dot on the side of my little finger, right at the lower knuckle. And the joint didn't want to bend. </p><p>Curious, I took the tweezers from my Swiss Army knife and pulled at the dot... and out slid a 3/4-inch Haw-thorn. It didn't hurt, the knuckle worked fine, and it never got infected. Nature's needles, those things. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/fcxaqm/surgeons_of_reddit_what_was_the_dumbest_thing_you/fjg1npo?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">carmium</a> </p>With BBQ Sauce?
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMjg3NDU0NS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY3MDM0MTI3NH0.lMg-Tju5wQ6yBJQemae3eX4V_P8OCT6AX1vf7hZLb8A/img.gif?width=980" id="d4158" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="2b9c4d4041cbd0b9c46202512463edfb" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="500" data-height="500" />Giphy<p>ER surgeon, had to remove a chicken nugget from someone's bum. And no not a partially eaten one, a full, perfectly kept chicken nugget lodged unusually far up someone's butt. </p><p>This seemed rather recent, the guy showed up with his buddies and they were all clearly drunk. The reason the man required surgery was because the way the nugget was lodged. It was stuck behind the rectum, closer to the sigmoid colon. </p>Don't Swallow.Â
<p>A condom, no... not auto correct, I had to remove a condom from a patient's small intestine. They swallowed it. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/fcxaqm/surgeons_of_reddit_what_was_the_dumbest_thing_you/fjexh79?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">EarthySwing1029</a></p>The Abs....Â
<p>My mum once spent an evening removing fish, chips and several pints of beer from a guy's abdominal cavity. H e got drunk and tried to kill himself by stabbing himself in the heart. But he missed and stabbed his stomach instead... so his dinner ended up floating around his abdominal cavity. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/fcxaqm/surgeons_of_reddit_what_was_the_dumbest_thing_you/fjdxofn?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">err-what</a></p>11 Inches?!
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMjg3NDU2OC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyNjEwNDEyN30.qHBtF_02Vq6ucY2xs1hFjI0QSX49PplUOEMLUH3X_mo/img.gif?width=980" id="76046" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="7abef95a32b9907394e340ac98ffd231" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="330" data-height="312" />Giphy<p>11 inch cucumber, pickle jar and shards of glass. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/cassie039/" target="_blank">cassie039</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/cassie039/" target="_blank"></a>Usually i let them pickle in the fridge for a couple weeks, but i guess this would work too. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/fcxaqm/surgeons_of_reddit_what_was_the_dumbest_thing_you/fjee1k7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank"> thesmokestack</a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/thesmokestack/" target="_blank"></a></p>Why is it always the butt?!
<p>Not a surgeon but a nurse here. My patient had to get a 5 pound metal dumbbell remove from his rectum. The whole thing was shoved in there. Everyone was pretty amazed he pulled that off. He did serious damage to his insides though.</p><p>I also had a patient who "fell" on the large cap of a can of carpet cleaner and it lodged in his rectum.</p><p>We actually have a lot of people shoving stuff up their butts and not being able to get them out. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/fcxaqm/surgeons_of_reddit_what_was_the_dumbest_thing_you/fjef497?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">Easy-Growth</a></p>Quite Impressive.Â
<p>Not a surgeon but was on my ER rotation in med school. A guy came in and he had stuck an 8 inch glass dildo up his backside too far and lost it. I took a picture of the CT scan on my old phone. It was quite impressive to say the least. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/fcxaqm/surgeons_of_reddit_what_was_the_dumbest_thing_you/fjdrj82?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank"> Tuhrontoh_TML</a><span></span></p>slurp....
<p>Not about a person and I'm not a doctor but thought this was interesting/funny. When I was a kid our poor bloodhound LOVED to get into the trash. One day my mom saw him in the backyard really struggling to pinch it off so she walked out there to see what's up. She saw a still intact bread bag hangin' out his backside. She stepped on the end to give it some grip and I kid you not this dog took off running with a lil <em>slurp</em> upon exit. Poor guy.</p><p>And yes, we immediately got a trash can he could no longer access. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/fcxaqm/surgeons_of_reddit_what_was_the_dumbest_thing_you/fjetvvb?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank"> stevegburg69</a><span></span></p>A Sand What?
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMjg3NDU2NC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY2OTAwNDIyMn0.xZlfAqFTaKyVEXHwFcWCCK1vMFNxYNiL3OXYfg2C5Po/img.gif?width=980" id="dd2fb" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="44ae3e69a46f2b7eeb5ba58df0eff1e8" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="250" data-height="227" />Giphy<p>I am not a surgeon but i knew someone who ran the x-rays at the hospital and she told me about this old man in his 60s that had to get a sand pit shovel removed from his butt. And it was entirely inside of the anus. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/fcxaqm/surgeons_of_reddit_what_was_the_dumbest_thing_you/fjf2kq4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank"> tntreigns</a><span></span></p>Congratulations! It's a... Phillip's?
<p>I'm OB/GYN. A patient came to Labor and Deliver around midnight with the following complaint, "My boyfriend was putting the crib together and he left stuff all over the bed. I was tired so I lay down to sleep and I think something got up inside me." I did a vaginal exam and pulled out a screwdriver, philips head. Thankfully it was handle side first, not pointy side towards baby. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/fcxaqm/surgeons_of_reddit_what_was_the_dumbest_thing_you/fjeznwp?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">Papdoc</a></p>Bad Hopper!
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMjg0MzAxNS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY2MDAxNTYyOH0.o_cv63yxdsWaZJ0oUi2EVXQdgFTw8MkCQmVlJ3iOPdk/img.gif?width=980" id="8f86a" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="a2d55697fb8851cc548a701ff635a285" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="268" data-height="150" />Giphy<p>Grasshopper leg from underneath the conjunctiva (outer layer of skin on the front of the eyeball).</p><p>Grasshopper jumped hard, ran into his eyeball. Got stuck and wiggled, part of the leg broke off. Grass-limper got away, but the foot/ankle did not. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/fcxaqm/surgeons_of_reddit_what_was_the_dumbest_thing_you/fjejgn5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">monkeysa47</a></p>STUCK!Â
<p>Crayon from an ear canal.<br></p><p>Shampoo bottle from the rectum.</p><p>Jar of coconut oil from the rectum.</p><p>Rolled ball of aluminum foil from a male's urethra.</p><p>Pencil from a male's urethra.</p><p>There's more but those are the ones that stick out. Unluckily for them, those didn't... stick out... <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/fcxaqm/surgeons_of_reddit_what_was_the_dumbest_thing_you/fjdti1o?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">SucculentOwl</a></p> allegedly!​!!!
<p>When my friend was doing her nurses training in the ER a guy came in with an empty jam jar stuck up his bum, his excuse? - He had just had a shower & (whilst still wet) sat down in his chair. What he hadn't noticed was the empty jam jar on the chair & because he was wet & as a result, slippery the jam jar just happened to "slip" up his bottom... allegedly! <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/fcxaqm/surgeons_of_reddit_what_was_the_dumbest_thing_you/fjedp08?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">Stabby-the-cat</a><span style="background-color: initial;"></span></p>Silly Corgi!Â
<p>So true. Had a corgi who swallowed a cooked chicken whole, bones and all. No problem. He liked chewing up razor-sharp mussel shells, dead horseshoe crabs. The best was his expression when he licked up a gumdrop covered with tiny brown ants. He loved dried-up worms on the sidewalk. He was a tough guy, but even with that digestive tract he nearly died from food-poisoning a couple times! <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/fcxaqm/surgeons_of_reddit_what_was_the_dumbest_thing_you/fjer1dv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">waupakisco</a><span></span></p>Go for 3?
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMjg0MzA5My9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY2NzMzNzM0NX0.HJhb9WkJ1YLjpJNCQ8kY6AWPDnbpFq7zWKiLrR5Qf3g/img.gif?width=980" id="7a92c" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="8cc86b311764bddbd881d40f21ac7251" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="270" />Giphy<p>Oh man, not a surgeon but I did this.</p><p>Was eating jelly beans in the living room and I was not supposed to be eating in the living room. My dad came in and so I hid them in the most logical spot, my nose. Couldn't get them out so I had to go to the hospital to get them removed. Didn't do this once, but twice. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/fcxaqm/surgeons_of_reddit_what_was_the_dumbest_thing_you/fjdzay3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank"> squiddo_the_kiddo</a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/squiddo_the_kiddo/" target="_blank"></a></p>THE WORST SMELLÂ
<p>I was running anesthesia on a chocolate lab for a foreign body surgery. Turns out he ate the owners used menstrual pad. That was THE WORST SMELL I have ever experienced in a career of pulling rotting garbage out of dogs intestines and cleaning up crap on the daily. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/fcxaqm/surgeons_of_reddit_what_was_the_dumbest_thing_you/fjdta7q?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">BlackoutXForever</a></p>Mommy's First...Â
<p>My friend had a child at 16 and was terrified of not being a good mother. She read lots of books and took every free parenting classes that was out there at that time.</p><p>Her daughter was around 2 when she started smelling really bad from her nose. She took her to the Doctor immediately still really scared of being called an unfit mother. The Doctor took a look and laugh. The kid had put a toy loose stuffing in her nose. They took it out and she was fine. She told me that she cried at lot more than her daughter. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/fcxaqm/surgeons_of_reddit_what_was_the_dumbest_thing_you/fjemh7a?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">sonia72quebec</a><span style="background-color: initial;"></span></p>Turkey Day Chronicles.Â
<p>Former nurse, called to ER for to set up for foreign body removal on Thanksgiving evening. OK someone didn't chew their turkey... super predictable holiday call. Arrive at ER and Doc says to set up a colonoscopy. Wait what? 20 y/o male had "fallen" on a shot glass. Look at the x-rays and yep, there it is' but something didn't look quite normal about it. Start the scope and find a rainbow blinking LED shot glass. Doc says, "So you think he wants us to take it out or just change the batteries?" <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/fcxaqm/surgeons_of_reddit_what_was_the_dumbest_thing_you/fjezuwl?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">mtcrabtree</a><span style="background-color: initial;"></span></p>Leave it In!Â
<p>Honestly, a tiny, insignificant little speck of metal that a guy got in his arm. There was literally no reason it needed to come out because it had been there a long time and had never gotten infected or caused a problem. But he was absolutely dead set on having it out, even when I warned him that digging it out of his muscle was more likely to cause bleeding, scarring, pain, etc.</p>A what box?
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMjg0MzA5OC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1NTg1ODA2M30.JL8RMLuAvRvarwu8ZTyp1ezDm1FuQRrXpvczDl9WTPo/img.gif?width=980" id="43d0c" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="d8693ce6c7e18125874ac09930f17d65" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="245" data-height="281" />Giphy<p>I worked in a hospital that kept an "Butt Box" full of stuff pulled out of people's butts.</p><p>There was a full size stapler in it. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/fcxaqm/surgeons_of_reddit_what_was_the_dumbest_thing_you/fjezlj8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">hokeyWB</a></p>Surgeons Share The Weirdest Objects They've Ever Had To Remove From Someone's Body
We really are a simple people. Aren't we? I mean, how difficulty is it to NOT insert various things into or body orifices? Especially our bums. At the very least we can learn to ease objects in and out. Use finesse friends. Lord help the medical teams out there. How they keep a straight face in certain situations is a miracle.
Redditor u/LordPurloin wanted to know if the surgeons out there would discuss surgery shocks they've come across by asking.... Surgeons of reddit, what's the weirdest object you've had to remove from someone's butt?
Oh Granny.Â
<p>Not butt, but once my grandmother, a life long alcoholic, forgot she had a tampon in and inserted another, jamming the first one up incredibly far.</p><p>She tried to get my poor grandfather, a man with zero training, to remove it. Even with a flash light and tweezers, he couldn't do it.</p><p>They went to the ER. Doctor said my grandfather futzing around her area had caused extra, unnecessary trauma.</p><p>I know this because toward the end of her life, she had dementia and she told us all sorts of weird stuff. She told this particular story in a fancy restaurant in front of most of our family and a mortified waiter.</p><p>R.I.P., Grandma. I miss your insane stories.</p><p><em><strong>Edit: </strong></em>Thanks for the train award! Happy holidays to everyone! <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ef7ct5/surgeons_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdest_object/fbzceq6?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">entomofile</a></p>"We've found Ken!"
<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMjM5NDEwNy9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0MDA4MzI1N30.7hxPR816YMmbjUKJYolQzGS4O4eHDrhK15k4A5kTq2k/img.gif?width=980" id="2e377" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="e343e4f18dc343d89f4c56973bc02a04" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" />Giphy<p>Not my story, my friend is a radiographer. A guy came into the hospital with Barbie dolls up his butt. After scans, One came out without too much issue, but the other was too far up. They were worried that if it was pulled out, it's arms would open and puncture the bowel. So they scheduled surgery, the x-ray staff waiting excitedly for news... The surgeon then returned and with a serious voice announced: "We've found Ken!"</p>FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, GO TO YOUR DOCTOR
<p>Not a surgeon but, wowie wowie, do I know a LOT of cases involving "falling" on things and other such excuses. Here are just <em>some</em> of the things I know:</p><ul><li>A Buzz Lightyear action figure.</li><li>A Barbie doll.</li><li>Plaster of Paris (they wanted a mold of his colon. Instead, it had to be cut open as it was glued shut by the plaster)</li><li>Glasses (the sight kind)</li><li>Jewelry (mostly necklaces)</li><li>A cucumber which, after proclaiming he fell over in the Garden naked and landed on his cucumber patch, STILL HAD THE TESCO WRAPPER ON IT.</li><li>A light bulb.</li></ul>Kinky Style.Â
<p>Somewhere out there in the world there is that one deeply unfortunate person who was ACTUALLY cooking while naked, who DID slip on the kitchen floor, and whose ass really DID slam down on the freshly peeled potato. One in a million chance.</p><p>Poor guy probably went to the ER figuring "No one will ever believe me," and just told the attending physician, "I'm into some weird kinky tuber sex-play." <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ef7ct5/surgeons_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdest_object/fbz3c56?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">whyenn</a><span></span></p>Mr. Potato Head.
<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMjM5NDY1OC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYxODAxNjE1NX0.22QImB-VXRR4u2FY2crXGB98lN_7b-hImThri1AARQM/img.gif?width=980" id="c996e" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="6800005a67a27c1f5d8a6bc088675229" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" />Giphy<p>Son of a Doctor here. My dad removed an entire peeled sweet potato from someone's colon once. He swore that he had just slipped and fell on it. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ef7ct5/surgeons_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdest_object/fbytoj5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank"> Salty_Knees</a><span></span></p>17 Barbie doll heads....
<p>I was an RN at a busy Detroit emergency department. A homeless woman, frequent-flier and drug abuser came in to see us with abdominal pain. The x-ray revealed 17 oval-shaped objects in her vaginal space.</p><p>They were removed by a very diligent medical resident armed with a speculum and McGill forceps, with the aid of an ultra sound tech.</p><p>17 Barbie doll heads. Their removal was made a bit easier by their long hair.</p>Diet Please.
<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMjM5NDk3NC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY3MzMzODI3OX0.3sh0XpszogQjlgf3VqDjWH8esqBR8XsH4H89QYCA_Eo/img.gif?width=980" id="f1ee8" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="7f423b593fd43783d59677857c7a0b8a" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" />Giphy<p>I've seen a small size Fanta orange soda (can) get pulled straight out of a man's rectum. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ef7ct5/surgeons_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdest_object/fbys8ly?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank"> Luffywara</a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Luffywara/" target="_blank"></a></p>Blockage...
<p>We received a patient with horrible pain that felt like constipation. He couldn't poop and laxatives weren't helping. We soon found out that the blockage wasn't just constipation, it was a string of beads several meters long that had become tangled into an ugly ball inside. I had to snip it apart and carefully pull pieces of it out. When most of it was out his moron became a rocket engine with diarrhea as the propellant. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ef7ct5/surgeons_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdest_object/fbywgfn?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">Pyrrhape</a></p>Side Salad...
<p>I once had a flatmate who was a nurse. She had a patient who came in complaining of stomach pains, which was caused by the cucumber he'd shoved up his butt a couple of days earlier. Apparently the smell caused by pickling a cucumber in your colon is extremely nasty. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ef7ct5/surgeons_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdest_object/fbyqucp?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">scatteredloops</a><span></span></p>The Urethra.Â
<p>Not the butt, close to it! My sister worked in a Urology clinic and has some very crazy stories ranging from "at-home sex change" procedures to this case in particular. She had to remove almost 200 bb's from a guys bladder via his urethra one by one! As the guy had a fetish of shoving things down is urethra. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ef7ct5/surgeons_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdest_object/fbyqllq?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">highsociety121</a></p>"sloshing"
<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMjIxNDg1Ni9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY2MjI1ODk1M30.L9vvVoFl9b8awWD_CsUapMDqmlxDCDLJVyPz8C6RnG4/img.gif?width=980" id="52ca5" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="9588e291b198241430ca7ea8c944e935" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" />Giphy<p>Endo Tech here, had a guy come in with a capped section of PVC pipe filled with Mercury because he liked the "sloshing". Had to call in Hazmat and security had to be called when he became violent because they wouldn't give the Mercury laden pipe back. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ef7ct5/surgeons_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdest_object/fbyzg69?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank"> thadiator94</a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/thadiator94/" target="_blank"></a></p>Don't Eat the Poop!Â
<p>I'm a vet. Dog had eaten a whole roll of poop bags (the plastic baggies people use to clean up after their pets on walks). They unspooled in his gut and spread from stomach to colon. His owners realized what had happened when he started pooping out bags, and brought him in through ER. My coworker went in to cut him, and the scene she described was hilarious: he would intermittently strain a little, and poop out a little section of bags. Someone would tear them off, and he'd be ok for a bit then poop out some more. Like he was dispensing them for himself! He did great after surgery. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ef7ct5/surgeons_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdest_object/fbz8jvp?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">PrettyButEmpty</a></p>Use it all Wisely....
<p>ER Nurse. I've seen baseballs, loads of sex toys, cans of soda, vegetables. There should be a public service announcement about using thins in the bum. It needs to have some sort of base so it doesn't get lost up there. A doctor I worked with once told a man, "It's ok if you want to put things in your rectum. You just have to use the right things." <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ef7ct5/surgeons_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdest_object/fbywxte?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">amybpdx</a></p>Cued Up....
<p>I wasn't the surgeon, I was the patients family doc, and took care of him in the hospital for his short stay after. He had a cue ball get stuck. Not sure exactly what he thought would be the way to get it out. We had a lot of trouble getting it out.</p><p>The conversation of the surgeons trying to come up with a way to get it out was pretty hilarious. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ef7ct5/surgeons_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdest_object/fbywpnp?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">tadgie</a></p>Had to remove it in pieces.
<p>A enormous silicone plug which broke off at its base inside the patient. It was shaped like a soft cone on a stalk, with the base at the bottom. Had to remove it in pieces.</p><p>Also, an Orangina bottle two years before this plug. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ef7ct5/surgeons_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdest_object/fbyt7ck?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">breathofdawildebeest</a></p>disappointing update....
<p>Years ago my nurse wife told me a man had an apple removed from his butt but I never understood how this could be possible. I often think about this but have never asked her for more details. I'll ask her over the table at Christmas dinner tonight.</p><p>disappointing update.</p><p>I didn't ask her at the Christmas dinner. There were small children around and everyone was having a nice time, it didn't seem cool to bring it up. Also no one else started any butt stuff related conversations providing an opening for my inquiry.</p>Meth is a hell of a drug.
<p>A friend of my mine is a surgery resident and during one of her trauma shifts a meth head walked in with an incandescent light bulb in his colon... it was shoved in with the wide part first. They were dilating the rectum in an attempt to remove it and the resident in charge of the procedure managed to accidentally separate the metal base from the glass globe; which immediately shattered under the pressure if the colon.</p>IÂ suspect it is still on......
<p>ER doc here, as previous posters suggest, it becomes hard to distinguish what is weird any more, so judge for yourselves</p><p>3 lemons About a foot of broom handle A lightbulb (which did not survive is adventure) So many toilet brushes (inserted brush and handle first) A series of toothpicks Any number of bottles, aerosol cans, etc</p><p>My favorite case was a simple sex toy. We xrayed it and the radiologists report read: "There is an approximately 15cm cylindrical foreign body in the large intestine extending proximally from the rectum. Judging by the indistinct outline of the foreign body, I suspect it is still on." <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ef7ct5/surgeons_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdest_object/fbz3c6e?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank">Mnonni</a></p>"fell on it in the shower."Â
<p>Back when I was an ER tech, we had this guy come in with a full size bottle of VO5 shampoo up his butt. Of course he said he "fell on it in the shower." You could clearly see it on the X-ray, it was pretty spectacular. The best part was he knew exactly what needed to be done to get it out, suggesting that this wasn't the first time... he asked for conscious sedation and for someone to pull it out... well the ED doctor tried that, then tried to manually get it out with forceps. </p>Behold the Light!
<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMjIxNDg2MC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY3NjMxNTQzMX0.1NNaLH2HbN5lWuYNwDhRIlqeMOLU4avFAyBnexRCC0w/img.gif?width=980" id="60bbb" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="903351ec269bdecbb3f37d45d19f3837" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" />Giphy<p>When I worked in the ER we had a guy come in with a 6 battery Maglite stuck up Main Street. The funny part is that it was inserted bulb out and it was turned ON.</p><p>So we laid him down prone and the doc spread his cheeks; then the room lit up like he just cracked open Marcellus Wallace's briefcase. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ef7ct5/surgeons_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdest_object/fbz3s72?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x" target="_blank"> reuben515</a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/reuben515/" target="_blank"></a></p>Surgeons Who Perform 8+ Hour Operations Share How They Deal With Bathroom Breaks and Meals
Slicing someone open and fixing their insides takes some intense concentration and planning. These surgeons reveal what it really takes to pull off a big procedure.