We've all made stupid mistakes. Actually, it would be even stranger if you had never messed up or said the wrong thing or done a basic math equation wrong in your head. What matters is how you handled yourself afterwards. Did you admit your mistake? Did you apologize? Did you do everything you could to learn so you wouldn't make the same slip-up again?
Or were you like the people in the stories below?
Reddit user, u/Darth_Boot, posed the following question:
Well, Technically, He Was Right...Sort Of...
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Knew a kid who drank bleach to prove it wouldn't kill you.
A week later he showed up at school after taking a shot.
He said he "proved his point" when the teacher asked why he was bragging about it.
Mr Hawk just said "But you cannot argue that without that medical treatment you'd have died though- you even said you have stomach damage and a burn esophagus yourself".
This kid was bragging about that. He was not mentally disabled or otherwise. He was just that kind of idiot.
Simple Slip Of The Apple
A classmate of mine, during biology class (we were 14 - 15 at the time), genuinely in total confidence, asked the teacher "Does the Adams apple or the heart pump blood?"
He had gotten the misconception after our teacher told us to check our pulse, and he checked by putting a finger on his throat...
No, No, That's Not The Girl...
I was in the Dominican Republic and did all the standard sight-seeing stuff. There was a church that had a grave. It was the grave of a 3-year-old. Next to the grave, there was an image of the Virgin Mary.
This highly perplexed an American tourist. She kept pointing at the Virgin Mary and saying "This girl died!?!? But she doesn't look 3! She looks sixteen!"
Just Look Up
I took my dog to the vet not that long ago. They now pick up your dog from your car instead of you going in, due to the recent coronavirus epidemic. They also put up these big signs in pink on the door that said, "please don't come on, wait for the worker to come to you."
So while we were waiting this women pulled up in her car and parked near the front. She got out and tried to open the door for a good 5 minutes straight. The sign was right there in her face too, in BRIGHT NEON PINK! I watched in amusement waiting for a nurse to come out and tell her to stop.
Socks To Be You
In high school I was over at one of my friends house and we were getting ready to go to the mall or something. We were almost ready to go and she sat down on the floor staring intently at her socks. She then commented on how she hated socks because it's so hard to tell the left from the right.We also once got into an argument about mixing colors. She was adamant that yellow and orange made red. I had to physically mix paint in front of her to show her that she was wrong.
Doubly Wrong In The Right Way
In grade ten, we had a science test, and the teacher gave one point for putting a date on the paper, and one point for your name on the paper....and then there were 98 points for the rest of the test. A guy sitting in front of me got 0.5/100....didnt write the date and only wrote his first name....
Definitely One Of Those Problems Where If You Think About It For Two Seconds...
At the start of working from home due to the pandemix, I had a few users submit tickets for "connectivity issues". These tickets got through 2 lines of support before landing in my queue.
Turns out that the corporate WiFi doesn't follow you home and you need home internet in order to connect to the VPN.
We've All Got One In Our Lives
Just scroll down a webpage or Facebook feed and have a look at the ads. Things like "only 2% can solve this puzzle" sh-t like that. Those ads get posted so much because they actually work on a lot of people.
Ugh, these are the worst. "Only 5% of people are smart enough to get this right, can you?" and then it's usually some stupid grade school riddle that I've known the answer to since I was 7, or some "complicated" math equation that any middle schooler who remembers PEMDAS could easily solve.
I actually had people on my Facebook who would share their results for these tests, like "OMG look how smart I am, I knew the answer!" I mean, sure, there are probably people who wouldn't be able to answer these, but it's definitely not 95%, and if you're dumb enough to actually believe that only 5% of the people who read that post can solve it, and feel like knowing the answer somehow gives you bragging rights, you're definitely not winning any intelligence awards.
That Moment When You Realize You Have It More Together Than The Boss
I worked at Little Caesars and we were proofing the dough for pizza. My boss said (at 7pm) that the dough needed to rise for 12 hours, and took out her calculator to do the math. So I said ummm that's gonna be 7am. Then she said the dough will expire in 48 hours and started doing the math again. I told her it would expire two days from now, and she said "that's kinda weird how that works out huh?"
I quit shortly after that.
The Parent Has Become The Student
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I teach 6th grade. One time a parent came to me after trying to help their child with math homework and asked, "What number is x worth? It feels like it changes with every problem!"
Thank You, Captain Hindsight!
My mother-in-law thinks she's psychic because she has the "ability" to predict what has already happened. For example: A couple of years ago, there was a pretty major event near our hometown that claimed the a number of lives and left many seriously injured. It was all over the news and I don't just mean in our town - this was big news around the country and even got international response.
She later claimed she knew it was going to happen because, that night, each and every victim visited her in the night before leaving Earth. She claimed that this was proof of her psychic abilities because even though you couldn't get away from the news, she TOTALLY didn't know it happened until all the victims came to visit an old lady in bed. Smh
That's Not How Time Works
I remember a friend telling me her sisters were in America at the same time of Michael Jackson's death so they found out quicker than us in the UK. Within 2 hours apparently. I was like yeah but I mean it was all over the internet, news etc globally as it was happening but she thought just because her sisters were in America ( in NY by the way) they found out sooner.
Thinking You're Outside The Rules
Walked into a fast food joint this morning for breakfast. Signs everywhere saying "drive-thru, delivery, take-out", "Dining room closed", stickers on the floor at 6' gaps with lines marked out in tape through the dining area, chairs on top of tables, and on EVERY table - "We're sorry, our dining area is closed at this time."
Two 'gentlemen' just got their food as I walked in with my partner (EMS, we needed food for 12 hour shift), and then sat down at a table to begin eating. Once the front counter employee had taken mine and my partner's orders, she very politely reminded them that the dining area was closed.
"Oh, we didn't know." Bullsh-t, you entitled motherf-ckers. You felt the rules, signs, and social distancing didn't apply to you. My only regret was being in uniform myself, so I couldn't share my mind. I did congratulate the employee on her tact, though, after the idiots had left.
Wibbly-Wobbly, Timey-Wimey
On 9/11 the General Manager called his daughter who was attending ASU to wake her up and make sure she saw what was going on. The customer service MANAGER said "It won't be on her TV yet, Arizona is 2 hours behind us"
It's All Breathing
One of my nieces had a cold as a toddler and was breathing through her mouth. My ex BIL flipped out because he didn't want her to get carbon monoxide poisoning from breathing through her mouth instead of her nose (the "normal" way)....... 😔
I read things like this and start asking myself, "why would anyone think this? How would this even work?"
And then I realize, this is the kind of stupid I don't want to understand.
1,000% Not How Science Works At All
A woman I used to work with who insisted that any animal could reproduce with any other animal. She believed that sperm from any animal was the same and that DNA was irrelevant.
She believed this because she once saw some sickly, possibly deformed puppies and decided that they must have been half dog and half rat.
Wow...
I worked at a bank. Mobile depositing had just became a "thing". We received a picture of someones cash for deposit. Yea..
This Is Very Real. Do A Quick Search.
In the 80's, A&W attempted to compete with McDonald's "quarter-pounder" burger by selling a "third-pounder" for the same price. The operation failed tremendously, with virtually no one buying the burger. When they surveyed customers for an explanation, the majority of customers responded that they "didn't want to pay the same price for less meat."
Their customers genuinely believed that one third was less than one fourth and refused to try the new A&W burger because of it.
Saved By Florida!
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The fact Florida had to tell people NOT to shoot at the hurricane.foolhardyassEven better, the fact that NOAA even has to have a section on their site explaining why using nuclear weapons against hurricanes is far worse than the worst idea you can possibly imagine.SpajdrasticBut at least nobody with actual access or the power to authorize the use of nuclear weapons would EVER have an idea that blindingly stupid.StanDarkloard
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When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
Disney World GIF
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.