Every job has its foibles, but customer service work has arguably the most pitfalls of them all.
Dealing directly with other human beings—all their emotions and hang-ups and expectations and entitlements—is pretty much a one-way ticket to misunderstandings.
But when you add in the fact that the customer service employee is also human and also full of all the extremely dumb stuff humans are full of? Well that lethal combination is a recipe for disaster.
This is one of those stories.
The TIFU (Today I Fu**ed Up) subReddit recently lit up with a pizza delivery guy's harrowing story, titled "TIFU by continuously making a customer angry when delivering them pizza." On its face, it seems like just another tale of a customer being that wonderful combo of unlikable and weird.
We've all encountered that guy. But the story quickly takes a hard left into "Oh...no..."
Redditor Kyle__'s story starts off pretty standard. He shows up with some pizzas, knocks on the door of a very loud party and gets a less than enthusiastic greeting when the door opens:
"This massive dude with hair down to his a** answers and yells at me for knocking too loud. I apologized, and went on my way."
Fairly typical "oh I'm SO sorry for DOING MY JOB" customer service stuff, right?
Sure, until the following weekend, when he delivers pizzas to another unit in the same building.
"This tall bald dude answers. I ask him if he knows the guy upstairs, and told him the a**hole upstairs yelled at me for knocking too loud. He looks at me puzzled, and says 'I know, that was me, I bought this 4 plex'. The dude shaved his head. From hair to his a**, to bald."
Yikes.
Our Pizza Dude, after he "instantly died inside" apologized and went on his way, no harm no foul.
Until the next weekend, when he really upped the ante by, well, destroying the dude's property.
"...the loop on my pizza bag got hooked on his mail box that was hung on the fence. It ripped the mail box clear off the fence, and flung it down the stairs."
Can't get worse than this, though, right?
Don't worry, it does.
"It actually bounced off his door when it landed. He opened the door to see me looking like a deer in headlights, frantically pointing at his mailbox (which was bent and twisted now) and trying to explain that I really didn't mean to do it."
And if you can believe it, this guy ended up delivering to this customer again—though thankfully this time there was a happy ending.
"After he paid I nervously said 'Hey, I didn't even insult you or wreck your property this time'. He laughed, said 'good job' and handed me a $5 tip."
Aww!
And now they're best friends.
Just kidding, they actually never crossed paths again, which is probably for the best.
Naturally, Kyle__'s fellow Redditors had plenty to say about this weird tale.
"'I know, that was me' LOL, dying" --u/GrauGeist8888
"Finally a good Tifu, I thought for sure you were gonna end up having sex somehow." --u/Hasnath_249
"Reminds me of the Pizza Delivery Guy from Home Alone who kept running over their damn statue." --u/ChefChopNSlice
And several gave him props for making the best of a sticky situation.
"You didn't FU imo. The man even laughed at your joke and tipped you.I see it as a win considering you destroyed his mailbox and called him an a**hole." --u/Fuhgly
"I dunno, sounds like you handled it well." --u/LostestGoat
Though not exactly everyone was on the pizza guy's side.
"...Don't call customers a**holes to their neighbors (or to anyone really). They might be friends (or the same person in this insane story)." --u/phunkydroid
"Like massive respect to this dude for not punching you" --u/RetardedGaming
And several folks had some wild pizza-related stories of their own to share.
"Oh man, delivering pizzas was generally fun! I was offered a St. Bernard puppy, bags of marijuana, and coke as tips (which I did not take). Only sad I couldn't take the puppy...." --u/Elle3786
"I delivered pizzas in college and I guess I knocked too loud over their music. The guy swung the door opened and yelled at me for 'knocking on the door like I was the cops'"--u/SatireDiva74
"Late to the party here but I was once a pizza driver too. One time I unknowingly delivered a pizza with a slice missing. Turns out one of the guys in back had made a pizza for himself and someone else mistakenly put the ticket on that box."
"The look on the woman's face when I had to re-deliver her pizza was one of pure disgust. She probably really thought I had eaten a slice of their pizza, and likely wasn't sure I didn't tamper with this new one. That was almost 15 years ago and I still think about it sometimes at night and get uncomfortable." --u/RickGrimesLol
Anyway, if there's a moral here, it's this: If you put your foot in your mouth, at least don't up the ante by damaging someone's property.
Customer Service 101, folks.
The excuses people use to dismiss behavior range from mundane and meaningless to the sort of leaps normally reserved for kangaroos and Olympians. It's sometimes amazing that these excuses work - but they do.
Some of them work so well that they're just sort of "accepted." That, obviously, kind of sucks and is something we should avoid - so let's talk about 'em.
Can't swerve around what you don't see, ya know?
Reddit user TMTtasmachine asked:
What's the biggest excuse used for a-hole behavior that shouldn't be accepted as much as it is?
... and away we go.
Jerk Privileges
" 'That's just how they are.' "
"One of the biggest enablers for tantrum throwing, bullying, etc. is that they get treated with kid gloves to avoid dealing with them." - alexrt87
"Oh my God you hit the nail on the head. Whenever someone says 'that's just the way they are' I say:"
" 'Yes, that's the point! Glad you noticed too! Now is it okey-doke for them to be jerks they have special jerk privileges? Or maybe they are just people and should treat everyone else as such?' " - notatrumpchump
"It depends on how it's said."
"People are the way that they are, and you shouldn't be surprised when they continue to be that way."
"This, obviously, doesn't excuse it - but people also shouldn't be surprised when a bad person continues to make bad decisions. Neither should we waste space in our minds being bothered by it." - unlawfulfoxy
Harassment Isn't Humor
season 2 lol GIF by ShamelessGiphy" 'It's just a joke, bro.' Harassing people isn't humor." - loading__99
"Schrödinger's Douchebag"
"A guy who says/does offensive things and decides whether he was joking based on the reaction of people around him." - Eatsleeptren
"Dude, legit had someone come up to me and start shouting in my face, calling me Madison, pretending I was cheating on him. Literally the most crowded location outside a theater, everyone staring at us, looking at me like I was some horrible cheater while I was out with my then fiancé."
"I started hyperventilating, my fiancé nearly decked the dude, and then someone shouts 'CUT' like this is some big 'YOU'RE ON CANDID CAMERA' moment and everything's supposed to be okay."
"I burst into tears."
"It was the most humiliating moment of my life, and thank god my then fiancé, now husband is not the type to overreact or jump to conclusions, or be abusive. Imagine how bad that could have been for someone with an angry or abusive partner."
"Prank videos are a plague on the internet and there is a REASON so many of them are fake, or involve actors." - Darkovika
Stay Sober, Then!
Drunk Drinking Beer GIFGiphy" 'I was drunk / high / etc.' "
"Then don't drink?! Stay sober if you can't NOT be an a**hole!" - BasedBenjamin
"Alternately, I hear a lot of 'I'm a happy drunk!' "
"Yeah, according to your drunk a$s. That doesn't mean you're not an ahole. Not remembering is not an excuse either." - PepeBabinski
"I was that guy. I swore I was a 'happy drunk' - and I was. It was everyone ELSE who was miserable while I was happy."
"I was also loud, obnoxious, and I wouldn't remember sh*t the next day."
"Quitting drinking has been one of my best choices of my life." - TTungsteNN
"Help"
new girl coach GIFGiphy" 'I'm just trying to help you' " - Miserable-Air1234
"Every time I've heard this, they're manipulating me while helping only themselves." - mykittenfarts
"My Mom to a T. Everything she does is better than anyone else's and she always gets pissed that people don't praise her for 'helping.' "
"She's now a certified (by herself) psychic and I have come to the conclusion that she's not a covert narcissist but an obvious one. I really wish I was joking." - Silent_Discussion657
Parenting Problems
Leave Me Alone Run GIF by TLC EuropeGiphy"Any variation of 'I'm a Mother/parent.' "
"Had some lady cut me in line at a coffee shop and she hit me with 'I'm a single Mom of 3!' as her excuse."
"Ok? And? I was still here first." - maid-for-hire
"I'm a single mom and I f*cking haaaate when other single moms/parents pull that sh*t to get special treatment."
"Last week, I was having a rough morning, my kid was being difficult, and I was running late. I was rude to a cashier over a minor inconvenience."
"Not only did I apologize for my shitty behavior, I wrote corporate to let them know how professional and patient she was while I acted like a f*cking toddler."
"Was being a parent part of the reason I was frustrated? Absolutely. Was it an excuse for that behavior? HELL no."
"I acted like a b*tch, and I called myself out, and I apologized. I still feel bad about that - I rarely let things get to me to the point I snap at others." - ClusterfckyShtshow
"Wow. I'm a Mom as well and tired but it doesn't give anyone a right to use it as some sort of ploy to get away with stuff."
"Like, mice become Moms about 12 times a year. You're not special 🤣" - SpoonLoops
Believing Your Boss
The Office Monday GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy"I had a boss say some really racist sh*t around me one day and the next day, out of nowhere, he says:"
" 'Don't believe half the things that come out of my mouth!' "
"It was not really an excuse, more like trying to cover for himself after the fact, but still stuck with me." - sirlongbottom441
"Report them to HR. Seriously." - kokichi--ouma
"Looking past the racist stuff for a bit, that's not a very encouraging thing to hear from a boss…" - WonderfulBlackberry9
Bad Day Again
Bad Day Reaction GIF by Schitt's CreekGiphy" 'I'm having a bad day/week' "
"Okay, so you decide everybody that you interact with deserves the same fate? Get out of here, dude." - myordinaryexistence
"We all got stress, don't take it out on me. I get some people have stress bad enough for it to be passable every once and a while (family member passing, etc) but general, stress should not lead to you being a jerk to me." - willsimpforfree
"Damn, I'm definitely guilty of this. Usually I remember to apologize after but at this point I've learned to just avoid the situation in the first place by minimizing my interaction with people if I'm in a shitty mood." - nozzzrul
"Reminds me of when that White boy went on a murder rampage and killed a bunch of Asian women & that a-hole sheriff gave a press conference telling the media that the 'poor boy had a bad day.' "
"My idea of a bad day involves going home after a rough day at work and just staying in the house."
"Apparently, I should change my ethnicity from Asian to White and go on a murder rampage, see if my @ss gets a sympathetic sheriff to say on my behalf that I had 'a bad day.' " - kingkazul400
It's Not An Excuse
Season 2 Reaction GIF by FriendsGiphy"This won't go down well, but using depression as an excuse. As someone who suffers from it, it's still not ok to treat others like sh*t" - Rainbowwallstickers
"Could not agree enough. My partner has a 'friend' who treats everyone like sh*t all the time, has no consideration for others and openly mocks people in public."
"She gets so much grace from those around her under the guise of her 'mental health.' It's so infuriating watching an adult woman never have to take responsibility for her actions." - 34boor
"I get there are some things you can't control, but you are still responsible for keeping that sh*t in check and if you're aware of your mental illness, you should be aware of how you approach people and situations."
"I'll admit I used to be guilty of using my mental illness to be an @ss, but now I'm trying to better myself" - VeeSquibbles
Florida Gonna Florida
Looney Tunes Florida GIFGiphy"People are letting Florida off the hook way too damn much. And I live in Florida."
"Just because it's hilarious doesn't mean it isn't still completely f*cked up." - AlphaWhiskeyOscar
"The phrase 'Florida Man' is almost always followed some heinous way a Floridian is being an a$$hole." - PepeBabinski
"I'm also originally from Florida, and that state has serious problems. We need to pay attention to it." - [Reddit]
Moment of honesty ... as a Floridian ... yeaaaah, I'm gonna have to agree with that last one.