My sister used to call farts "tushy talk"

My Dad once heard my sister say "fart" and got really angry because it was not "ladylike" so he prohibited us using it. Instead we were to say "noise that came from behind" which made it even funnier to me.

piperloveschocolate

These overbearing parents.

My (now) wife's parents wanted an itinerary of where we would be on every date (she was 19 at the time but still living at home).

I thought they were asking in a more general way so I answered "well we're headed to a show, then probably dinner. Maybe a coffee after."

Unacceptable.

Which show? What time would we be physically inside the venue? When did the show end? Which restaurant? What time will you be eating? Which coffee shop?

I was just like "ehhhh... hasn't really thought that far ahead. We'll let you know."

"she can't leave till we know."

I just made some sh*t up. Seemed to placate them. From that point on I would just rattle off some bullsh*t and do whatever we wanted.

Very weird people.

WimpyJeeper

What grandma says, goes.

My grandma had a "no leaving the table until you eat your food" rule. Pretty reasonable, except she would prepare your plate, often with more food than you wanted.

One time she made me a chicken salad sandwich but the chicken salad had turned. She wouldn't let me leave, she just sat across from me to make sure I didn't get up until I ate it. This went on for hours, until my mom got off work and picked me up.

It wasn't even that strict a household, I think she liked control and this was one if the few arenas where she could exercise it.

squasharito

Oh, the horror.

Listening to non-Christian music was punishable by being grounded for weeks.

samii1010

This is... weird. No naps?!

I wasn't allowed to be in my room for an extended period of time except to go to bed at night. Also, no naps.

My laptop was required to stay in the living room at all times.

When I started commuting to college because dorms were expensive, I was required to report to my father and step-mother's room every day as soon as I came home, and they would yell at me if I didn't come up without being told every day.

Texts must be responded to immediately. My father threatened to report me as a missing person because he called me while I was on a shift that ended at 3AM and didn't text him back until the next morning.

One time, my step-mother asked for the full name, race, drug and crime history of a coworker whose house I was going to to play D&D. It was only a one-off event, but still super weird.

I'm sure there are more that I can't think of right now, but I've been No Contact with them for going on 8 months now and so it's been a while since I interacted with their craziness.

PM_Sinister

Wow. Yikes.

I was an unwanted child that my parents decided to keep out of pity as I was always told growing up. I wasn't allowed out of the house for anything other then school or family events. I couldn't see friends ever, wasn't allowed a phone until 16 which was only for emergencies and checking in when I got to school and when I left. I would get beat occasionally the worst was for a bit of poop not flushing. Everything had to be spotless, my bed had to be made by 7am. If I did something that didn't like I would never hear the end of how terrible I was.

Beatforpoopin

No music while cleaning? Who's in charge, Ms. Hannigan?

No music allowed when cleaning the house, because it would "distract" us.

Also, not allowed to do anything with friends on a Sunday because it was "family day" (even though we never did anything as a family and just stayed shut in our rooms).

threeleafcloverr

More fart restrictions. "Fluffs?" Really?

Among other stupid, non-sensical rules.... until I moved out at 17, I wasn't allowed to say "fart" because it's a "swear word". If I needed to talk about farts, I had to call them "fluffs". My best friend and I would kill ourselves over how silly this was.

Im 26 now and as much as my parents are proud of me for my life accomplishments so far, I know they're not proud of me for having a VERY extensive, dirty vocabulary. Feels good to prove to them I can talk like a degenerate and be successful.

artichokearchitect

This is how the best Redditors are made.

I was never allowed out with my friends, after school, the weekends, the holidays etc. I stopped being invited out after a while and internet became my friend, might explain why i prefer online company.

2oftenblue

No snacks, no freedom.

Locks on the fridge and pantry. Bars on the windows. Wasn't allowed to have the computer password.

dinosaur_khaleesi

Evolution - bad.

There were a lot of TV shows I wasn't allowed to watch. Mainly things like Pokemon because it obviously promotes evolution. The big one though is I wasn't allowed to get my driver's license. I had to learn how to operate a car and drive in case of emergencies but was not allowed to get my license. There were extreme amounts of bitching and whining when I needed to be picked up late due to my after school activities or be dropped off at a Saturday competition. Then I was the ungrateful one if I complained about them yelling at me for having to go to an event, for a school activity they signed me up for, that I didn't want to do in the first place.

lelakat

No longer a prisoner.

16 year old me: "Can I go to the coffee shop with some friends? I'm done with all homework and I promise to be back by bed time."

Dad: "No. You already went out once this week."

That was actually the last straw, because he made that rule up on the spot and doubtlessly had every intention of enforcing it. I snuck out my window and left home. He found me a couple days later and it turned out, after talking to his cop buddies, that he couldn't have them arrest me unless I was found breaking laws. I agreed to talk to him and my stepmother, whereupon they told me I could either live by their rules or not live there again. No brained for me - packed a couple bags of favorite clothes and got the f out.

ResplendentShade

This stepmother from Hell.

Step mother tried to boot myself (14 female) and my bro (12 male) out because she didn't want us living with her. Dad realised if that happened, he would end up dealing with child services etc. So he "compromised".

As the female, I was allowed to still be living in the house but had to remain in my bedroom unless asked to come out for dinner. I had to ask to use the bathroom. My door had to be open at all times and no phone allowed. I was never allowed to be given cash so all of my stuff (school bus tickets, sanitary products etc) were bought for me. I often went without lunch as she wouldn't make it for us (only her son) and we weren't allowed in the kitchen. A teacher at school worked this out pretty quick and started bringing me food each day.

My bro was not allowed in the house. He lived in a van (I mean a literal work van) around the side and had allocated shower and bathroom times. He had to eat outside. He thought it was cool.

One day when I was 15, the police came to my school and said I couldn't go home as my bro had done something to set her off and she had chased him up the street with a broom, then come back in and trashed my room and the van with an axe.

EDIT: lots of comments have asked what happened next. No consequences for her but we weren't allowed back in the house and she obtained restraining orders on us coming to the house...I'm still not quite sure how as I did nothing! Dad paid for an apartment and we both lived in that - he would visit once a week to take us food shopping. This lasted until I was 16 and someone tried to break in while I was home alone and I rang my 17yo BF in a panic. He came over with his dad who sussed things out pretty quickly and I went home with them where I stayed for the rest of high school and uni as his girlfriend initially and then as a boarder.

I am now a teacher who works with disadvantaged youth and use my experiences to inform my support for them. My bro has not coped as well (partly due to personality and also being younger than I was) and is a drug addict who I have very little contact with after he stole from me repeatedly as an adult.

Dad and step mother stayed married for 20 years. He left her last year, they are divorced now and he's about to marry a Chinese lady I've never met.

commentspanda

What's up with all this lack of privacy?

Not allowed to close the door of my room from my 15 to my 18?

TheMisfitGuy

No friends.

No friends allowed at the house.

hellaoakland