Rules are rules.
And they're made to be broken.
Unless you have strict parents that don't play those games.
I was pretty lucky, I had a freedom growing up.
But I had a few friends who had it rough.
Redditor callierkap wanted to hear from everyone whose parents caused more stress than necessary when growing up. They asked:
"Redditors who grew up with strict parents, what was the most absurd rule you had to follow?"
I wasn't allowed to cross the street without my. other's permission. It was weird. But now that I drive... I get it.
Alone
Lonely Bucks Bango GIF by Milwaukee BucksGiphy"I was only allow to go to school and come back home, my parents never allowed me to hangout with friends after school or on the weekends."
limsasi
Friends
"I could totally see my friends, but effectively wasn't allowed to make any. I was homeschooled so I didn’t have any, and church wasn’t really anyone under 50, so I just never had any communication with anyone who wasn’t an adult until college. This vastly set me back along with my siblings and I didn’t go on my first date until 23."
AzureBluet
Make it Quick
"My parents expected me to call them and ask for permission to go out at night (which in their minds was after dinner and included movies) throughout college. And furthermore I had to use a calling card with limited minutes because my college was long-distance from them."
"My goal was to end the call quickly which usually meant acquiescing to their rigid rules and staying in. Took me entirely too long to realize that they were in fact half a day's drive away, so I could do what I wished without always checking in."
Crazycatlover
I am Meek
"Not being allowed up in my room during the day. (It was okay to go up there once it got close to bedtime, but it was hit or miss... I could never quite figure out the exact time it became acceptable.) My mom would always yell for me to come back downstairs if I disappeared up to my room for more than five or ten minutes at a time. And a related rule: not being allowed to shut my bedroom door, except briefly when dressing."
"For context, I was an introverted girl who loved to read, and I just preferred the peace and quiet of my room. Also, I was a very meek child who never got into trouble, so those rules weren't made because of any misbehaviour on my part. It seemed absurd to me then, and still seems absurd to me now."
Avendaishar
Who?
he's cute tv land GIF by YoungerTVGiphy"It wasn’t a rule but, when I was 13, my mom overheard me telling some friends a guy on TV was cute. She made me feel so ashamed that, to this day, I’m reluctant to actually point out a cute guy to friends or voice my appreciation when they do it. It’s awkward."
Brunonononoooo
Wow and I thought I had it bad because I wanted more allowance.
Less Words
Argue Donald Trump GIF by Wave.videoGiphy"I do high level debate in high school, so in every argument we had, I wasn't allowed to use it because it was too insulting to them or something. Very many arguments were had in form of screaming and cussing at each other."
Vivid_Fan_3150
In the Middle...
"As the middle kid, I had a lot more rules compared to my siblings. My older brother moved out of my dads house so it was me and my little brother, who was spoiled rotten. I wasn't allowed to go to bed until my little brother said I could. He was allowed to hit me as much as he wanted. Keep in mind, I'm a female, now 18. He is four years younger."
"I moved out when I was 17. Also, he was allowed to do whatever he wanted and I had to do his chores and mine in under an hour. My chores were the dishes, taking the dog out, sweeping, mopping, steam mopping, vacuuming, laundry, and bathrooms. We lived in a 4 bed, 3.5 bathroom house. It also had a basement that my dad used for his man cave. My brothers chores were to clean his room, and take the trash out."
"I did all of his chores everyday and mine and it took me from 6 AM (I also wasn't allowed to sleep in but he could) until 3 or 4 PM. And I was doing online school. I failed school and was told I was only good as a servant. I was also getting abused but I moved out and now my fiancé helps me get over the trauma."
kyliesolis
2 years later...
"When I went to boarding school, if I gained even 0.1kg of weight, I would have all electronics, which included my phone, tablet and laptop, taken away from me until 2 years later when my parents said I could have them back. I wasn't allowed to leave the school grounds unless I had their permission. I didn't give a f**k what they said and still left the school on weekends, but the farthest I went was the little co op 50 meters from the school because that's all I ever wanted to go to."
marvel_is_wow
I Feel for Her
"I’d say I have some of the least strict parents and it’s made me realize the insane things my friend’s parents do. I have a friend from a hispanic household, she’s not allowed to wear makeup, and must get permission to go out. This wouldn’t be weird if she wasn’t literally 20, with a driver’s license, car, and 2 sources of income including the military. They don’t let her move out. She’s being deployed to Kuwait indefinitely and I haven’t gotten to see her once before she leaves."
jesikau
Hydrate
Johnny Depp Drinking GIFGiphy"My siblings and I couldn't drink anything during our meal. If we wanted anything to drink, we had to have it before we ate, and couldn't touch it again until our plate was clear."
Arken8270
In a Small Town
"cracks knuckles... my time to shine. I had a 7:00 curfew until I was 18 (then it only moved to 10). I live in a very small town, the kind that Walmart is considered a date, and my parents were mad I went across city lines for the movies when I was 18. I could only go out (meaning anytime I left the house including family events) twice a month. I had to turn my phone in at 9 until I was 16."
Winter_baby_22
Face Reads
"I have the male equivalent of 'resting *itch face.' So I was forced to smile and s**t, otherwise I got in trouble for 'making a look."
iBelieveInSpace
Decades Later
"It was my 'father' and his b**ch wife, but... I couldn't lay down on the couch. At age 16, I made a choice to work as close to full-time as possible and forego playing sports (I really enjoyed playing basketball and football, but I sorta realized I wasn't going to be the next MJ or Rice and decided I wanted a car, to be able to buy clothes, etc.)"
"I'd get home from work (10 or 11pm) the couch cushions would actually be standing up (they didn't take them off, but rather just stood balanced them up for some f**king reason) with a handwritten note I couldn't sit on them. I still don't know what that was about. 2+ decades later. Yeah, before you ask, he is still living and is exactly the type of person that wonders why his kids don't want anything to do with him."
2020IsANightmare
Select a Few
"I was not allowed to close my bedroom door, denying me of any privacy. The rule itself may not be too absurd, but that fact that it applied to some of my siblings and not others makes it absurd. On the rare occasion I was allowed to hang out with my friends, I had to go back to the house every hour to check-in. If I was late by five minutes or more, I was grounded."
"After dinner, some of us were allowed one cookie, whilst others were allowed three. On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, we had to have cold cereal. On Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays, we had to have microwaved breakfast foods. On Sundays, our father would cook for us. I never gained much muscle mass due to the lack of protein and other essentials I needed."
"Our cold cereals were usually things like Cheerios (not the honey ones), Corn Flakes (not the frosted ones), and Frosted Mini Wheats without the frosting (I don't remember the name). I don't think the rules in my childhood house were more strict than the other. They were all equally strict, so I just selected a few of them."
Stitch_03
Only Boys
"Not me but my best friend. From the time she was a baby until she left home, she was never allowed to have a bedroom door. The door to the bathroom could never be fully closed. She couldn’t whistle, chew gum or play sports because only boys/men could do that."
IDGAF_GOMD
Play
Season 2 Wow GIF by NBCGiphy"Equal amounts of violin practice and video games. I’ve played 1000’s of hours of violin and video games because of that rule."
Present-Trip5231
Sticks and Stones
"I wasn’t allowed to play with sticks. Ever. My father worked as a contractor in my younger years, so I grew up around tools and such. He got me my own little carpentry kit, complete with a hammer, chisel, pliers and screwdrivers. He even showed me how to carve unused pieces of lumber that were laying around."
"By 6, it was totally acceptable for me to take some leftover 2x4, carve an axe or spear head (axe came from 2x8 and split a lot) then glue it into the end of a 3/4” or 1” pvc pipe, creating my own weapons. All learned from my dad. But if that same man saw me playing with a stick from the yard, I got BEAT. 33 years old now. I can’t resist the urge to pick up a stick and swing it around when I see one."
OSHoneyB
Hockey Sticks
"I wasn't allowed to play hockey because only lesbians did that and she wouldn't have me embarrassing my brother by being a lesbian (by playing hockey). I saw a school photo, she played hockey in the 1950s. No watching TV while she was out. Not allowed to eat unless it's what she said we could eat. We prepared nice meals for her and had separate meagre meals."
"She believed homework was work we didn't finish in class, so we weren't allowed to do homework. We needed to be quicker in class. She had a whistle and had two signals for my brother and I, she would literally whistle for us so she didn't have to get out of bed. Obviously no friends. One time I had a friend, she had her clean the house."
Lostinmoderation
Hometown Glory
Walmart Black Women GIF by Maui BigelowGiphy"cracks knuckles... my time to shine. I had a 7:00 curfew until I was 18 (then it only moved to 10). I live in a very small town, the kind that Walmart is considered a date, and my parents were mad I went across city lines for the movies when I was 18. I could only go out (meaning anytime I left the house including family events) twice a month. I had to turn my phone in at 9 until I was 16."
Winter_baby_22
It's amazing some people still grow up sane.
There are strict parents, and then there are those whose rules are simply ridiculous. Imagine not being allowed to hang out in your room, or not having access to snacks. How would you feel if you went on a date, and your parents demanded an accounting of every minute and each mile? Imagine no naps! These are real, and Redditors who escaped unreasonably strict households shared their tales.
huey764 asked, People who grew up with strict parents: what was the most unreasonable rule?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
My sister used to call farts "tushy talk"
GiphyMy Dad once heard my sister say "fart" and got really angry because it was not "ladylike" so he prohibited us using it. Instead we were to say "noise that came from behind" which made it even funnier to me.
These overbearing parents.
My (now) wife's parents wanted an itinerary of where we would be on every date (she was 19 at the time but still living at home).
I thought they were asking in a more general way so I answered "well we're headed to a show, then probably dinner. Maybe a coffee after."
Unacceptable.
Which show? What time would we be physically inside the venue? When did the show end? Which restaurant? What time will you be eating? Which coffee shop?
I was just like "ehhhh... hasn't really thought that far ahead. We'll let you know."
"she can't leave till we know."
I just made some sh*t up. Seemed to placate them. From that point on I would just rattle off some bullsh*t and do whatever we wanted.
Very weird people.
What grandma says, goes.
My grandma had a "no leaving the table until you eat your food" rule. Pretty reasonable, except she would prepare your plate, often with more food than you wanted.
One time she made me a chicken salad sandwich but the chicken salad had turned. She wouldn't let me leave, she just sat across from me to make sure I didn't get up until I ate it. This went on for hours, until my mom got off work and picked me up.
It wasn't even that strict a household, I think she liked control and this was one if the few arenas where she could exercise it.
Oh, the horror.
Listening to non-Christian music was punishable by being grounded for weeks.
This is... weird. No naps?!
GiphyI wasn't allowed to be in my room for an extended period of time except to go to bed at night. Also, no naps.
My laptop was required to stay in the living room at all times.
When I started commuting to college because dorms were expensive, I was required to report to my father and step-mother's room every day as soon as I came home, and they would yell at me if I didn't come up without being told every day.
Texts must be responded to immediately. My father threatened to report me as a missing person because he called me while I was on a shift that ended at 3AM and didn't text him back until the next morning.
One time, my step-mother asked for the full name, race, drug and crime history of a coworker whose house I was going to to play D&D. It was only a one-off event, but still super weird.
I'm sure there are more that I can't think of right now, but I've been No Contact with them for going on 8 months now and so it's been a while since I interacted with their craziness.
Wow. Yikes.
I was an unwanted child that my parents decided to keep out of pity as I was always told growing up. I wasn't allowed out of the house for anything other then school or family events. I couldn't see friends ever, wasn't allowed a phone until 16 which was only for emergencies and checking in when I got to school and when I left. I would get beat occasionally the worst was for a bit of poop not flushing. Everything had to be spotless, my bed had to be made by 7am. If I did something that didn't like I would never hear the end of how terrible I was.
No music while cleaning? Who's in charge, Ms. Hannigan?
No music allowed when cleaning the house, because it would "distract" us.
Also, not allowed to do anything with friends on a Sunday because it was "family day" (even though we never did anything as a family and just stayed shut in our rooms).
More fart restrictions. "Fluffs?" Really?
Among other stupid, non-sensical rules.... until I moved out at 17, I wasn't allowed to say "fart" because it's a "swear word". If I needed to talk about farts, I had to call them "fluffs". My best friend and I would kill ourselves over how silly this was.
Im 26 now and as much as my parents are proud of me for my life accomplishments so far, I know they're not proud of me for having a VERY extensive, dirty vocabulary. Feels good to prove to them I can talk like a degenerate and be successful.
This is how the best Redditors are made.
I was never allowed out with my friends, after school, the weekends, the holidays etc. I stopped being invited out after a while and internet became my friend, might explain why i prefer online company.
No snacks, no freedom.
GiphyLocks on the fridge and pantry. Bars on the windows. Wasn't allowed to have the computer password.
Evolution - bad.
There were a lot of TV shows I wasn't allowed to watch. Mainly things like Pokemon because it obviously promotes evolution. The big one though is I wasn't allowed to get my driver's license. I had to learn how to operate a car and drive in case of emergencies but was not allowed to get my license. There were extreme amounts of bitching and whining when I needed to be picked up late due to my after school activities or be dropped off at a Saturday competition. Then I was the ungrateful one if I complained about them yelling at me for having to go to an event, for a school activity they signed me up for, that I didn't want to do in the first place.
No longer a prisoner.
16 year old me: "Can I go to the coffee shop with some friends? I'm done with all homework and I promise to be back by bed time."
Dad: "No. You already went out once this week."
That was actually the last straw, because he made that rule up on the spot and doubtlessly had every intention of enforcing it. I snuck out my window and left home. He found me a couple days later and it turned out, after talking to his cop buddies, that he couldn't have them arrest me unless I was found breaking laws. I agreed to talk to him and my stepmother, whereupon they told me I could either live by their rules or not live there again. No brained for me - packed a couple bags of favorite clothes and got the f out.
This stepmother from Hell.
Step mother tried to boot myself (14 female) and my bro (12 male) out because she didn't want us living with her. Dad realised if that happened, he would end up dealing with child services etc. So he "compromised".
As the female, I was allowed to still be living in the house but had to remain in my bedroom unless asked to come out for dinner. I had to ask to use the bathroom. My door had to be open at all times and no phone allowed. I was never allowed to be given cash so all of my stuff (school bus tickets, sanitary products etc) were bought for me. I often went without lunch as she wouldn't make it for us (only her son) and we weren't allowed in the kitchen. A teacher at school worked this out pretty quick and started bringing me food each day.
My bro was not allowed in the house. He lived in a van (I mean a literal work van) around the side and had allocated shower and bathroom times. He had to eat outside. He thought it was cool.
One day when I was 15, the police came to my school and said I couldn't go home as my bro had done something to set her off and she had chased him up the street with a broom, then come back in and trashed my room and the van with an axe.
EDIT: lots of comments have asked what happened next. No consequences for her but we weren't allowed back in the house and she obtained restraining orders on us coming to the house...I'm still not quite sure how as I did nothing! Dad paid for an apartment and we both lived in that - he would visit once a week to take us food shopping. This lasted until I was 16 and someone tried to break in while I was home alone and I rang my 17yo BF in a panic. He came over with his dad who sussed things out pretty quickly and I went home with them where I stayed for the rest of high school and uni as his girlfriend initially and then as a boarder.
I am now a teacher who works with disadvantaged youth and use my experiences to inform my support for them. My bro has not coped as well (partly due to personality and also being younger than I was) and is a drug addict who I have very little contact with after he stole from me repeatedly as an adult.
Dad and step mother stayed married for 20 years. He left her last year, they are divorced now and he's about to marry a Chinese lady I've never met.
What's up with all this lack of privacy?
Not allowed to close the door of my room from my 15 to my 18?