Watching a stoner in action is pretty funny from an outside point of view. But what is it like on the inside? Can you even trace a thought process? On this episode of "Knowable Investigates," we will be going inside the minds of those who have experienced the effects of THC in a crazy way.
u/A-MATIC asked:
What is the highest thing you have ever done while high?
Here were some of the answers.
The Entire Cow
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Went downstairs to pour a glass of milk for myself. My parents happen to be in the kitchen. So in my best sober impression I pour a glass quickly and leave. Halfway up the stairs I realize I took the gallon and not the glass. At that point I had to commit.
This Show Is So Good
I was on skype with my best friend and as she was talking to me I just sat there watching her because I thought I was watching Netflix.
This is my favorite response in this thread, I've been in that position before. Just totally zoned, not really taking in the information, just kinda observing until the other person stops talking and your brain realizes this isn't one sided.
Taste Test
Smoked a bong after getting my tonsils out when I was told not to. Thought I couldn't taste the old vanilla ice cream I was eating and that I had fried my tastebuds because I smoked too soon after the surgery, this made sense at the time. My dad walked in the kitchen as I was pouring the salt shaker in my mouth to see if I could taste at all.
Caketastrophe
My cousin and I got stoned on his roof late at night and his brother couldn't know we smoked. So once the munchies kicked in we went to his kitchen to get some chocolate biscuit cake. My cousin pulled out two tiny *ss plates and 2 forks. He then proceeded to slam the fork into the cake, I said why don't you use a knife but then he just smiled and ripped off the most perfect piece of cake I've ever seen.
Then he spotted his brother and ran into his room and left me in the kitchen. I was going to run too but I hadn't got my piece of cake yet. His brother walked into the kitchen and said "ooo chocolate biscuit cake!" And I was under so much pressure to act normal that I didn't know what to do. So I slammed my fork into the cake and smiled and proceeded to rip the cake in half. He freaked out and said why didn't you use a knife and then the uncontrollable laughter kicked in. I said I didn't know where the knives were, to which he replied, where did you get the fork? So I pointed at a random drawer which he opened and had only knives in it. I couldn't control my laughter anymore so I ran away with my giant piece of cake falling off my tiny plate. I don't think he knew I was high. Probably.
Something By Puccini
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One time I was in college and I was stoned and my brother was cooking bacon for our munchies.
I kept telling everyone to shut up because in the back of my mind I heard little tiny soft beautiful music. Kind of like a symphony. I was like I'm so high.
It was the bacon sizzling. The bacon sizzling sounded like a freaking symphony to me.
What Actually Happens Here
I have a "tripping in the grocery store" story myself. My (now husband) and I went to get some snacks to tuck into a movie for the duration of our trip. I get pretty zoned out staring at the snacks....there were so many options. I started to wonder if normal people stare at the snacks for this long. I noticed my mouth was open while I was staring. I still can't make ANY decisions. All of a sudden there's a cacophony behind me that shakes me to my core. I turn around to look and knock over a display of cheeseballs, already making a scene. Then, I look towards the sound; there's a high school marching band in full uniform in the frozen food section. The shock and absurdity of it all had me laughing like the insane high person I was. The mask fell.
Panic Plus High Equals:
At this point in my life I had agoraphobia, and while high, mustered up the courage to go grocery shopping for what was probably the fourth time in my life. Great idea.
I'm so stoned that I decide to try the deli counter for the first time ever, and I see this little container on the counter. I start to panic, and scramble to find a tip for what my high mind decided was a tip jar.
I get my order, smile at the deli person, and make eye contact with her as I go to put $2 in the jar. But it isn't a tip jar. It's a trash can for the tickets. And we're still making eye contact. And I slowly die as I have to commit to my mistake, and stuff my money into the trash can.
It took me four years to go to a deli counter again.
The Chicken Was Never To Be
Not me but a friend. We have a popular chicken finger shop called Raising Canes in our college town. Now those of you familiar with canes know that they only serve one thing, chicken fingers.
All you can decide other than that is how many you want and whether you want fries, coleslaw, toast and sauce. My roommate, high as hell, sat in the parking lot for a solid 20 minutes deciding just how many chicken fingers he wanted. When he finally came to his conclusion, he proceeded to pull into the drive through, only to realize the store had been closed before he even pulled into the parking lot to start his decision-making process.
Whoops!
I worked at subway when I was in high school. My friends and I thought it would be awesome to get high before work. It was my first few times getting high and once I got to work I was out of this world. I was taking someone's order and they wanted their sandwich toasted. I put the sandwich on the pan, turned around to place it in the toaster, and then dropped it on the floor. I couldn't stop laughing and I'm pretty sure that person wanted to punch me in the face.
The First And The Best
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First time I ever smoked. Just chilling in my friends room at about 11pm, sleeping over. We're just watching tv, and all of a sudden everything is just pitch black. Me being high and not really knowing how to act, I figure, "Ok, it must be time for bed then."
Only it's so dark I can't see anything so I just kind of fumble around in the dark for a while until i eventually feel a door knob in front of me. I turn it. Locked. For some reason, no matter how many times I turned this locked door knob, it just wouldn't open. Maybe it was because it was locked, but who knows. /s
Eventually I hear a light tapping on the door. I tap back.
*tap tap tap
*tap tap tap
This continued for like five minutes, just me tapping in response to some random tapping on the other side of this door. I'm still standing in pitch black, no clue where I am, what the tapping is, or how to open this door.
EVENTUALLY, I figure out how to unlock the door and open it up. My friend, his sister, and her friend are just standing in the hall. I was in the bathroom the whole time, and had no idea. Apparently, at around 11, I went to go to the bathroom, walked in, locked the door, and just stood there. Never turned on the lights, never actually went to the bathroom, never even moved my feet from the same spot for about FORTY FIVE MINUTES. FORTY. FIVE. MINUTES. After about 30 minutes my friend got worried about me and started knocking on the door and asking if I was okay, but wasn't sure what it meant when I just knocked back from the other side.
Over a year later, they still haven't let me live it down. Just one of the memorable stories I have from that night, my first time was by far the best time i've ever smoked. Wish I could go back.
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.