"I have a friend..."

I have a friend who looked like Jesus back in high school. We all still message him on Christmas Eve to wish him a happy birthday.

Lugbor

"Turns out blood..."

I had severe eczema as a kid. Used to bleed all over the place.

Friend had black lights in his basement - I was over there all the time, one day was super hot in the summer and I wanted to change my shirt.

Turns out blood shows up in black lights - My whole body basically looked like it was glowing white.

He called me "firefly" for a while.

LargeSnorlax

"I popped up real quick..."

"Am I still pretty?" Black out drunk with friends, we decided to walk and get more snacks. A friend told me she would give me a piggyback ride so I ran at her back at jumped. She wasn't ready and fell forwards, resulting in me awkwardly going over her, landing on the pavement and sliding on my face. I popped up real quick, felt at the blood on my face, and shouted out, full of panic to my friends, "AM I STILL PRETTY?" I looked like I had barely survived a car accident. I was not pretty in that moment but my friends all kindly assured me I was still beautiful as they drunkenly applied first aid. This was years ago, we all went our separate ways but i still hear it every time I run into them in our small city. I healed up nicely with a small scar.

tor_92

"When you discover..."

When you discover a spider with some weight is crawling across your face, you may make an involuntary noise. If that noise happens to be high pitched, you don't want to be around my friends if you never want to hear about it again.

BlandstanderB

"The best I could come up with..."

In my 2nd year of middle school, in French class, we had to do short conversations with groups of 2-3 people in front of the class. I had to do my conversation with this girl that I didn't really know and with who I barely talked. We had prepared the entire conversation because we were still allowed to back then. The conversation was just someone passing by the supermarket and talking to a cashier. I knew in advance (or at least I thought I knew) what she was going to ask, which was something about the weather, so in my head I already had the sentence I would have to respond ready.

So.. Then it was our turn. We go to the front of the class. The nerves were killing me, but everything was going to be alright because I knew what I had to say. Suddenly the girl I was doing the dialogue with asks me "Ca va bien?" which means "How are you". This was not how I planned it to go. It's a simple question but it really threw me off, so I started getting really nervous and I just couldn't think of the right words for a response. LITERALLY A WHOLE MINUTE OF ME SAYING "ERM" PASSES before the girl I was doing the dialogue with asks, in the middle of the dialogue, "Can I go to the restroom?". Meanwhile I still didn't have my answer ready, and I still didn't when she came back probably almost 5 minutes later.

The best I could come up with was "Bien", which isn't even a full answer, it should have been "Ca va bien" or something like that. So to this day my friends still answer with "Bien" when someone asks them how they are doing.

Fluffle12345

"We had just redone..."

When I was 12, my friend and I were FaceTiming on my iPod touch. We had just redone my kitchen, and I was placing the iPod in all the new cabinets so she could see them. Then got the brilliant idea to put the iPod in my microwave, and then turn it on. Yeah, not sure what went through my brain that day. That was 8 years ago now and she still brings it up when we meet someone new.

olivalolz28

"To this day..."

When I was around ten years old, so fifteen years ago, my school had its traditional school disco. For some reason I thought drinking as many cups of the free lemonade as possible would make me really cool. Over the course of what could have only been a couple of hours, I drank somewhere between twenty and thirty of those small plastic cups (like, 7oz/200ml cups) of lemonade, threw up everywhere, and had to leave. To this day I don't know why I did that, and my oldest friends still bring it up.

EllieEmmeno

"When I was 18..."

When I was 18 and a Freshman in college I heat up a pop tart in the microwave. Turns out when you do this, especially if you microwave it for a long time, the goo inside turns to boiling lava. I pulled that sucker out and it disintegrated and some of the boiling goo got on my thumb resulting in a pretty severe second degree burn. It's been 17 years and on a weekly basis I am still endlessly mocked.

Ksilverstar25

"It wasn't too long ago..."

It wasn't too long ago, almost a year since it happened. I was in my last year of secondary school, and my family decided to move house about 6 miles away, so sometimes I would take the train with my mate in the mornings to get to school.

One day, I ring my friend on the way to the station and she got on an earlier train than our usual one, so I waited for that one and would have met her once I got there. I see a train approach, and due to extreme anxiety I assume this is the one.

But when the doors close and the train starts going, I notice this one has less coaches than it should. So I ask the guy next to me "Does this train go to (my destination)" and he goes "No, this goes to (other place)."

I'm panicked. I get off at the next stop and had to wait to get the train back to where I was then finally get where I wanted to go. I missed the whole of my first period in school. My friends pissed themselves when I explained why. And to this day, even after school finished, they mention to "get the right one this time" and basically laugh loads.

I never took another train to school after this incident.

TheBadOof

"Literally was just eating..."

My friends still make jokes about me using a can of peanut butter to pleasure myself with because they saw a can of of peanut butter next to my computer. Literally was just eating a snack of apples and peanut butters, and I've been putting up with the joke for 8 years...

BagelsAreStaleDonuts