Redditor sfish27 wanted to hear about all the best thoughts people had, but maybe while not on the best of terms mentally, they asked:
"Have you ever written down a 'genius idea' while drunk/tired/otherwise confused, then gone back to it later to find it was complete nonsense? What was your genius idea?"
I swear I have had the best workout ideas after margaritas.
But after I sober up I realize... one really shouldn't hang from a ceiling fan for ab support.
Carbs
"They should make a 'low carb' pasta salad, that just has vegetables in it. I looked at it later and realized that's just a salad." ~ crap_whats_not_taken
GiphyShovel It
"I used to think that I would get these amazing ideas before I would fall asleep and then I forget them in the morning. So I started keeping a journal next to my bed to write down these ideas. The only one I ever wrote down was 'pogo stick with a shovelhead on the end."' ~ High_Stream
Pizza
"I once woke up in the middle of the night with an idea that I desperately needed to jot down. Managed to key it into my phone before dozing off again. Went to check it the next morning to find a note that simply read 'Better a pizza cake than none.'" ~ Itrade
Cereal
"I was drunk and went to eat a bowl of cereal. Then started thinking about how great it would be if we invented deeper bowls with a handle, to make eating stuff while drunk and sitting on the couch easier. Got so excited about my idea and was genuinely baffled how nobody had seemingly thought of this genius idea before. Woke up the next morning and realized I had, in fact, invented the mug." ~ _MaddAddam
Hot Air
"I wanted to make my own hot air balloon by inflating an air mattress with helium. Didn't have a helium tank though." ~ KapitanKraken
GiphyHot air balloons are dangerous in general.
You'd have to be high just to try.
That is a death defying experience.
Yoda
"One time I had the idea to write something down when I was almost blacked out to see what it was in the morning and it turned out I wrote, ‘Yoda is the best time traveler.'" ~ ytubejammer
Giphy(???)
"I once dreamed that I was in a song contest and came up with a rap song with the chorus... 'White boy, black boy, gay boy, gameboy,' and when I woke up I thought it was the most wholesome thing ever. Black people, white people and even gay people can come together and be friends if they just put their differences aside and play Gameboy together. (???) To be fair, I was a kid. but still. I remember being excited about it FOR DAYS." ~ TurnstileT
"Wrote"
"I wrote a best selling novel in my sleep. 'Wrote' some ideas down on a pad next to the bed. Woke up excited about it and then realized I never clicked the pen to expose the tip. No book this year." ~ Harvard-23
"Bruh, you gotta rub the paper with the side of a pencil and expose the indentations. You were leaving yourself a coded message!" ~ pterrorgrine
My Blades
"I wanted to start a business that would increase efficiency of ceiling fans. I would travel to people's homes and sharpen their ceiling fan blades until they were razor sharp. The decreased resistance would make the blades faster and use less energy. Since literally no one has ever sharpened their ceiling fan blades, everyone was a potential customer." ~ chowderpouch
Sober...
"I wrote down some jokes that were funny and thought I should do stand-up. they were so funny that I couldn't stop laughing. Sober, they weren't even jokes. just some thoughts written down that made little to no sense." ~ BirdGuy64
GiphyWhat have we learned?
Just enjoy the high.
Don't overthink.
And also... you never know, it might work.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
For instance... all writers have pens. It's a thing. And a computer. And they have books, because they read and research.
If they're missing more than one of these items, it's a poser.
Redditor Tarrabyte__ wanted to send up the red flags we should be on the lookout for when rummaging in kitchens. There are just somethings only a bad cook would have.
"What food in someone's cabinet screams, 'I'm bad at cooking?'"
There are basics to every field and desire.
You have to have the basics or not have what doesn't belong.
Poisons
"I’ve seen someone store their bleach, dish soap, and bath soap right beside the potatoes." ~ jcn143
GiphyDr. NOOOO
"My mom has had a can of Dr.Pepper flavored beans in the cabinet for about 6 months so I’d have to go with that." ~ mini-maggit
"I bought those once more as a novelty. They weren't good. It's like the sauce is supposed to be made with Dr Pepper. But they just tasted bad. So be glad she left them in the cabinet and didn't serve them to you." ~ Acrobatic_Succotash
"You might be surprised how many BBQ recipes call for some kind of dark soda in the sauce/marinade. Dr Pepper, Cola, Root beer; I've seen everything from beans to pulled pork call for one of those." SocratesBalls
"oh it's still good"
"My parents have spices in the cabinet from before they were married. They just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary last week. It's a known fact amongst my kids, you don't eat anything in grandmas house without checking an expiration date."
"We've also started a new game of trying to find the oldest expiration date we can. The refrigerator has stuff from the year I graduated high school in 1999. Ice cream toppings and things like that. The response from my mom and dad is always 'oh it's still good.'" ~ oaksso7880
Bad Flavors
"To balance out the 'lack of seasonings.' Only massive amounts of garlic and onion powder. I met someone who insists you'd be a fool to not pack every recipe with these, to the point where everything has this weird, overpowering fake taste." ~ Doobledorf
"They’re easy to lean on because they smell good as is. It takes a little experience and experimentation to learn how to unlock the other flavors through combinations and actually cooking the herbs. Like I could just huff a bag of onion powder all day that stuff is amazing!" ~ Abrahamlinkenssphere
Get Wood
"A glass cutting board. only people who have no clue what they’re doing in the kitchen would use one." ~ kittenswithtattoos
GiphyStorage is key.
You don't store chemicals with food.
Choose to live.
What's Missing?
"I think it's more about what's not there. If you don't own a cutting board, you probably can't cook. I'm surprised at how snobby some of these comments are. I'm a great cook, but eat instant/shortcut convenience foods all the time. My time and energy are finite resources, sometimes those convenience items are a lifesaver!" ~ strikingsapphire
GiphyCut it Up
"The lack of a larger, sharp, knife. If all you have are paring knives, I will assume you don’t cook much." ~ Bananaman612
"Whatever size they are, if all your knives are dull, you either don’t cook much or have some kind of weird fetish for frustrating yourself. Lots of people can’t afford fancy knives, but most can afford a sharpener and a few seconds every now and then to give them a quick run through." ~ Fortherealtalk
What's Lacking
"It's more the lack of salt in the cabinet. My family doesn't believe in seasoning food and they don't think it is possible to overcook something. I have heard my mom complain about how pepper is too spicy. They're like the stereotype of white people." ~ Either_Road_5538
"Sounds like my friend when we were growing up his mom cooked chicken by boiling it and don't season it at all. Dude way blown away when I cooked him and myself chicken with a homemade pan sauce one time, that's when he told me about his childhood of bland boiled chicken." ~ subaru_natsuki337
Reasons for Seasons
"I see a lot of people here ragging on instant food but damn I work full time. Sometimes I make Butter Chicken from scratch and other times I make hamburger helper for dinner. I consider myself a good cook but I’m also a person who gets tired. Just because you have lazy meals ready to go does not make you a bad cook." ~ TheCylonsAreHere
I think I may be a bad cook.
That's ok, I have DoorDash.
And I'm temperamental with spices so take that as you will.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Curious to hear about certain expectations, Redditor Gaelic_Gladiator_64 asked:
"What is a basic skill that you grew up thinking everyone had until you saw others do it so horribly?"
When dealing with people, it turns out some people are lacking in social graces.
Respect
"Being polite/having manners."
– Marcella111001
Getting A Point Across
"Explaining things. If I explain something and someone tells me they don't understand, I explain it again, but frame or phrase it differently."
"I will never understand why so many people think just saying the exact same words again in a more exasperated/condescending tone is at all effective."
– GODDAMNUBERNICE
Some people are clueless when looking at the various equipment in front of them.
Reading Instructions
"Following an instruction manual. I heard people say 'I don't know how to build an IKEA cupboard.' Neither do I, that's why they ship it with instructions."
– madInTheBox
How To Clean Dirty Clothes
"Using a washing machine and dryer."
– SamuraiJack815
The Neglected Step
"Laundry, especially emptying the dryer lint. So many places I’ve stayed had 'bad driers' that were packed full of lint! How these people did not start a fire is amazing."
– babybaloneyfriend
Being Self-Reliant
"So thankful for my dad, who grew up dirt-poor but had really made something of himself by the time I was in middle school."
"He ingrained in us that no matter how well we succeeded financially in life, we always needed to know how to do things ourselves, even if just not to get scammed by folks we’d hire to do things for us. As long as I’m physically able, I’d rather DIY just for the learning experience. Except major plumbing and electrical. I’m not that egotistical. Haha."
– ThatSpot0701
How To Clean The Floor
"Mopping/sweeping."
– ThatGuyWithThatFace_
"The best tip I can impart for mopping floors is to use two buckets. One with hot water and the other with hot water and cleaning product. Use the hot clean water to rinse the mop before drinking (dunking) it in the bucket with cleaning product."
"That way you can dump and refill the hot water as it gets filthy without losing cleaning product and without smearing the dirt back on the floor."
– arjo_reich
Some people are seriously apprehensive about learning how to use certain electronic equipment.
Intimidating Equipment
"I had a friend who grew up with maids. He was 18 and gay and his family kicked him out. So he got this tiny little run down studio apartment in Los Feliz. He was super proud of it, and invited me to see it. He was using candles to light it when I got there (maybe to save money? Maybe to hide the blemishes?) and had left an ashtray on the floor, which I accidentally kicked and got (cold) ashes all over his carpet."
"He freaked the f'k out. 'What do I do? How am I going to clean that?!'”
“'With a vacuum?' I replied, confused as to why this was a mystery."
"He didn’t have one, so he went to ask the building manager if there was one he could borrow; which there was."
"He pulls this standard upright vacuum into the middle of the room and then stares at it. After a few seconds wondering what he was doing I asked 'do you not know how to use a vacuum?'”
“No, you have to understand, we always had maids, I never even made a bed before last week.”
"So I plug it in, turn it on, and take it a couple times back and forth across part of the carpet."
"Then like a child with the Fisher-Price popper vacuum he went to work. He was over the moon excited. 25 years later it’s a favorite memory of that person."
– moistpup
Computers
"It's still pretty amazing watching how some people use their phones and computers. Like you could give some leeway in the 90s and earlier, computers back then were fairly complicated for a lot of functions."
"But after 30+ years of design refinements to make them about as easy to use as possible, plenty of people, including younger people, interact with them as if they're afraid it will get mad at them personally if they mess up."
– iuytrefdgh436yujhe2
When Everything Is Available At Your Fingertips
"Being able and willing to figure stuff out. A lot of basic skills aren't that complicated. And in this day, if it is complicated, the internet almost certainly has dozens, hundreds, or more, tutorials."
"Quitting because 'I don't know how' should not be the answer. I wish more were taught to figure things out, or seek the help/answers to get it done."
– naphomci
I know there are some people who don't understand how to use Google maps. That just boggles my mind.
"How do you get there?" "Where is it?" "What train gets me there?" are all questions I've gotten from time to time when planning to meet up with them.
Seriously, go to any app that involves the use of a map, and a path opens up like magic.
I don't know if it's laziness to avoid relying on an app when they can get a verbal answer or if they are so intimidated by technology.
It's time to learn, because it's never too late.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Wondering about a hypothetical, Redditor MainSeparate2964 asked:
"Congratulations! You're on a first date with someone you really like, what's something that they could say that would ruin it completely?"
There was one person who was not on the same page.
A Late Confirmation
"This is a platonic date right? No? You know I have a boyfriend right?"
– Glad-Election-7952
Presumptions
"Reminds me of one I got once. Saw a movie, asked if she wanted to get food, she said no. I said 'oh well maybe next time then.' And she goes 'who says there's gonna be a next time?'"
– Silvinis
Identity Crisis
"A friend of hers shows up at the bar. Gestures to me, 'This is Chris.' I am not Chris."
– cambot86
Some dates didn't know what to call their situation.
What Label?
"Oh, so it's a 'date', date?"
– Akamors
The Confused Girlfriend
"No joke. I had a girl once ask me if I thought we were dating... Literally seconds after we had sex. Like we both regularly said we liked each other, went on dates, hugged and kissed in public."
"I had dinner at her families house once or twice a week. Anyway I said 'yeah' and she said 'Oh I don't think we should date.' Like what have we been doing for 3 months? Weirdest experience I've ever had with a 'romantic?' partner."
– kynthrus
A Happy Twist
"This happened to me! The guy didn't think it was a 'date' date and asked for a second chance. Almost ten years married."
– fiestafoxinue
These dates were doomed from before they even began.
False Pretenses
"It was a dare."
"Free food."
"I don't even like you that much."
– tr5al5x
Business Opportunity
"So, how would you like to own your own small business? I know a great opportunity, and all you have to do is get five of your friends to join with you! Want to join my team and crush some goals?"
– HawaiianShirtsOR
Curfew
"My dad said I need to be home by 8."
– YoungFelix105
Repeat Offender
"Remember me? the girl who cheated on your brother?"
– Brandenk192
While there are many variables involved that could derail a first date, you needn't be discouraged.
Just make sure before planning to meet with the person whom you have a crush on knows they will be on a date to ensure there will be no confusion.
Hopefully, it will be a match.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.