People Break Down Which Behaviors Scream 'I'm Insecure'
Everyone has insecurities.
Be it speaking in public, wearing beach attire, or even one's profession, very few people don't have at least one topic of conversation that is bound to make them red in the face.
Some people are pretty adept at hiding their discomfort and can manage to persevere through their phobias with their dignity intact.
Others are not so lucky and often go to great lengths to hide their insecurities, only to make them even more apparent.
Redditor Dear_Coyote_ was eager to learn the tell-tale signs of someone's insecurities, leading them to ask:
"What screams 'I’m insecure'?"
The Wisest People Are Those Always Willing To Learn
"When people are unable to admit that they don’t know something."- slimytoadsnot listening no way GIFGiphy
Other People's Success Are Not Your Failures
"Mocking someone else's achievement."- SuvenPan
Never Pick Yourself Up By Taking Others Down
"Belittling others."- Term-Haunting
"Always talking badly about others and trying to make them look weak/bad."- PildithThe Simpsons GIF by MOODMANGiphy
Maybe Honesty Isn't Always The Best Policy...
"When you're quick to be 'brutally honest' with others, but have a meltdown when someone does it back to you."-eF240uKX52hp
Not As Funny As They Think...
"People who tear other people down as a joke but then get mad when they get it handed back to them."
"Clearly they either aren’t joking or are too sensitive to be dishing out sh*t."- babythrottlepop
Being On Top Adds More Possibilities Of Falling Down...
"Trying to one-up people in every conversation."- Flanky_Bwai
"One upping people in conversation."
"If I tell you I had a great trip to X place, I don’t need to hear about your better trip to someplace else that’s ostensibly 'better'."- I_Am_The_Grapevinekristen wiig television GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy
Some Things Speak For Themselves...
"Constantly saying what kind of person you are."
"If you were, you wouldn’t have to tell us."- ubereddit
A Little Contrition Goes A Long Way...
"Making excuses and even twisting the facts but never apologize."- SuvenPan
But Enough About Me, What Do You Think Of Me?
"Constant projection and self-serving compliments."- nhabzLook At Me Kiki GIF by The Bachelor AustraliaGiphy
What Are They Even Trying To Prove?
"Revving your vehicle loudly every time you pass another person."- msnmck
Superior By Association
“'You will address me by my husband’s rank!'”- Psychological-Stay16
"Elaborate Instagram and Facebook posts declaring love for one’s significant other over and over and over."- jbmaunHappy Married At First Sight GIF by LifetimeGiphy
Always Needing Validation
"People who can’t think or feel anything without being told that it’s okay to do so."- Diesel07012012
It's sad that so many people think the only way to overcome something which makes them embarrassed or afraid is by embarrassing or demeaning others.
When being open and honest about your insecurities might, instead, result in your finding common ground with others.
And making new, lifelong friends in the process.
When conversing, it's generally a good idea to make sure both you and the person you're speaking to get equal time.
So, if the focus has been on you for a fair amount of time, it's perhaps wise to ask your conversation partner a question and pivot the subject to them.
Unfortunately, some people have trouble talking about anything other than themselves and take every opportunity to pivot the conversation back to them if they sense it veering away.
"What is a tell tale sign that someone is a selfish person?"
"You Had It Bad, Well I Had It Worse..."
"When anything that happens to them is the worst thing in the world and whatever happens to you is not that bad and a waste of time talking about or dealing with."
"'I know your mom died a month ago but my best friend of 3 years died too so I don't see why you are so sad all of the time'."
"I think narcissism and selfishness go hand-in-hand so there you go."- AJM5K6
"They respond how worse their situation is when you’re sharing your problems with them."
"No try for help or listening, just trying to draw attention on their side."- seyfgs
"When every single bad thing that happens to another person gets spun around into their personal problem eg I'm really upset because my friend family member is going through."- Purrminator1974Drama Queen GIF by Radiotelevisione svizzera (RSI)Giphy
Sorry? I Don't Know The Meaning Of The Word...
"They feel no remorse for how they’ve hurt others."- avidhiker96150
"I'm Always Right!"
"Doesn’t think they’re wrong in the slightest bit."
"They can’t shoulder any bit of responsibility."- No_Key_6276
No Need To Thank Me, Because I Won't Thank You...
"They don't remember the times people helped them, but remember clearly all the times they have helped others."- GoodMerlinpeensexy youre welcome GIF by SatisfactionGiphy
Live To Freeload!
"They bring nothing to the potluck but are first in line."- TRIGMILLION
Quid Pro NO!!!
"They gladly take any favors you do for them, but when asked if they could reciprocate once, they get defensive and or aggressive and act like you're the selfish one for daring to expect something in return."
"It doesn’t make you a bad person to expect reciprocation in a relationship with someone else, romantic or platonic."
"Relationships are give and take and that makes them healthy."
"It's not entitlement to expect kindness if you give kindness."
"If you're the only one giving, you're being taken advantage of."
"I'm not talking about narcissism and manipulation, I'm talking about the natural give and take in a relationship."
"It is not manipulative to expect certain things out of a relationship (depending on what kind of relationship it is)."
"The whole reason we make relationships is because they give us something - whether that be support, love, safety, or other advantages."
"It isn't a bad thing, it's a human thing."
"Typically, with give and take, if you notice a pattern of one person consistently taking without giving, the one taking is the problem, not the one giving."
"The kind of people who use this as a manipulation tactic aren't the ones who stick around in a relationship for years, doing favors and kind things without being asked to."
"They're more likely to do one favor and demand twice as much in return."
"Why do I know this? I've had these people in my life, which is what gave me the realization I commented above."- random-shit-writingSeason 4 Question GIF by 9-1-1 on FOXGiphy
"I'll Never Forgive You!"
"Every bad thing you do to them is drama-worthy."
"Every bad thing they do to you are details and should be moved on from, and why can't you just do that? You're so dramatic!"- Pasdusername
"If I Could Just But In..."
"If you are in a group and there is one person that is constantly interrupting the middle of what you or anyone else is saying generally to brag about themselves with a 'one-upper' story, is generally a precursor to stop associating with them."
"I've met too many of them in my days and they are more often than not happy to throw you under the bus whenever the opportunity arises."- Philay_shio
But Enough About Me, What Do You Think About Me?
"If they always talk about themselves."- Effective-Craft-1173
"They have that superpower to lead everything back to themselves."
"Even when you're actually talking about your own life or a specific problem of yours, they somehow make it that you start talking about them instead without even changing the topic."- Anskin12Look At Me Reaction GIF by WWEGiphy
"Ugh, Work Is So Boring... Can You Do It For Me?"
"Complaining at work to coworkers doing your work for you while you complain."- Minimum-Tea-9258
Perhaps the most frustrating thing about dealing with a selfish person, is getting through to them about changing their behavior is probably a no-go.
For they'll be too self-absorbed to ever think they were doing anything wrong.
While ignorance may be bliss for the ignorant, it can annoy the heck out of everyone around them.
Ignorance can come from both a lack of information or too much incorrect information.
Redditor rockytheboxer asked:
"What common misconception infuriates you?"
I try to be calm. But anything can infuriate me.
So let's chat.
LiesCat Zoom In GIF by Paul TrilloGiphy
"That you can zoom in on a digital picture and it gets more clear."
"The Dunning-Krueger Effect."
"It's not as simple as dumb people overestimating their intelligence while smart people underestimate it. Once you feel 100% certain in your knowledge, all new information looks like misinformation. Once you believe yourself an 'expert,' you're far less receptive to facts that contradict your position. Self-doubt is what keeps your mind open; the nagging sense that what you 'know' might not be true is what motivates intelligent people to keep pursuing knowledge."
"Studies even show the DK Effect actually horseshoes."
"People at the very bottom and the top tend to over-emphasize their own intelligence. When leading scientists are disproven by new discoveries, it's not uncommon them personally reject the new science. The 'Nobel Disease' describes when Nobel Prize-winners go on to become quacks, believing their 'genius' qualifies them as experts in things outside their expertise."
"Life expectancy. People think hundreds of years ago you died at 40. Completely false. Infant mortality was extremely high so the average is skewed. If you made it out of infancy you had a pretty good chance of becoming old."
"So much this. If half the people born die at age 2 and the other half die at 72, the average life expectancy is 37, but that doesn't mean 'everyone died at 37.'"
"'If they give me a raise at work, I'll bump up a tax bracket, and I'll actually make less!!'"
"Oh man, I just came here to say this. Had a high-level staff meeting last week to discuss how our company will be changing from weekly checks to bi-weekly."
"The uproar, because they were gonna get 'taxed more' was hilarious. I literally had to draw a crude graph for folks who’ve been on this Earth for decades longer than I have in order to explain how a progressive income tax works. My eyes are still rolling."
RuinedAngry Season 3 GIF by Paramount+Giphy
"O.C.D. is not some cute obsession with cleanliness and order. It can ruin lives and comes in many forms."
"I also hate when people play armchair psychologist."
There is such a thing as too clean. Right?
Colorsseason 1 friends GIFGiphy
"As a colorblind person, I don't see in black and white. I have no problem driving. And I will never play the 'What color is this?' game. Not ever."
"The quote 'well-behaved women seldom make history' is frequently misquoted. Professor Laurel Ulrich stated this in a 1976 essay that details how women in early America have been lost to history as their stories weren’t considered important by those who wrote history."
"Her quote is not meant to minimize the lives of women who perform stereotypical 'women’s work' such as mothers and wives, but to stress the issue of women’s voices being lost in history."
"I think it’s important to support women who do not live within these archetypes, but not at the expense of women who enjoy being within these roles. Ultimately, having the voices of diverse women and gender-diverse people documented in history is incredibly important - which should include both 'well-behaved' and rebellious women."
"Introversion and social anxiety are NOT the same things."
"Not every introvert has social anxiety or is a poor communicator. Stop lumping people together and just calling it introversion."
"I’m introverted. I know how to communicate well. I just don’t want to with you."
"That the symbol of the upside-down cross is satanic, evil, witchcraft, etc. I see so many Catholics and Christians going off on people who have upside-down crosses on clothes and stuff because it’s 'evil.' No, it is not. The upside-down cross comes from Peter, who decided to be crucified upside down because he felt he was not worthy of dying in the same fashion that Christ did. It is a symbol of honor, love, and respect for Jesus."
Love DiesIn Love Hearts GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy
"People like to believe 'there's someone out there for everyone' but honestly this just isn't true. Or that we only have 'one true love.'"
Everything makes me mad.
But life goes on.
While we all have to do it so that we can pay our bills, some of us would definitely not work if we didn't have to.
But that has less to do with our work ethic and more to do with some of the terrible work experiences we've had.
Redditor 7Earth7Energy asked:
"In all seriousness, what's the worst job you've ever had?"
"Store Santa during my college years."
"Sometimes I enjoyed being 'Santa.'"
"But many times, children were sad and asked for things that likely would never happen, like, as I once commented, 'A new boyfriend for Mommy because she was so lonely ever since Daddy died.'"
"Cashier at a grocery store. The work was fine. My manager was a nightmare."
"Fast food... I know everyone knows its a bad job, but nobody knows the stress that goes round in that kitchen, it's insane."
Unpredictable Cleaning Schedules
"I used to work for a carpet cleaning company. You never knew what you were going to come across that day. There are basically two types of people that use carpet cleaning services:"
"Type One: Pretty much spotless clean house. Perhaps they spilled a glass of wine on the carpet, and they want the stain out. Easy job..."
"Type Two: They had four dogs and never let them out, and there is more s**t in the carpet than carpet."
"Dishwasher. I’ll go to my grave saying that it is the worst possible job you can have."
"Dishpan hands are a real thing and suck a**. You’re the last to leave the restaurant, the least paid, and least respected person in the building."
Plants and Cars
"I can't decide between two, so I'll share both:"
"First, I was 19 and had just dropped out of college. I decided to take a job over the summer building scaffolding in the chemical plants around the Houston ship channel. I lasted exactly two weeks doing that work."
"12-hour days, carrying long metal posts and hammering them together in the hot Texas sun, with the smell of burning chemicals all around you, and a foreman who can't speak English so communicates to you with hand signals and whistles."
"A lot of my classmates went and had full careers working in the plants. I knew then I had no desire to chase that living. That s**t sucked. I hated the work, I hated being there, and I hated that I had no time to do anything because I was always at work or sleeping."
"Second, Car sales. When I first got out of the Navy and was looking for my first civilian IT job, I was having a hard time getting hired anywhere. I took a job selling cars because it's pretty much what I could find aside from barista work."
"Long, long days. Like 14+ hours, calling 'ups' and calling people on the phone to harass them into coming into the store for some 'once in a lifetime deal.' Having to try and get people to buy a car they won't like because that's the one that would get me the bigger spiff, or trying to f**k them on the price because I'd get a higher commission if I did."
"And it was causing so much grief at home because I was never home, and my wife and son were never seeing me, and we were still not making enough money to get by, despite me selling out my own morals every day and hating myself for it."
"And I was so busy at work, I didn't have time to apply and interview for the jobs I actually wanted. I ended up taking a loan from my gramps to help me pay the bills for a few months while I quit this job so I was able to find IT work, which finally paid off."
Out in the Lumberyard
"Working on a lumber mill. I was literally the only employee with all my teeth and all my fingers. Watched a guy take a 14” splinter through his thigh. Board came off the saw and split, half of it opened the guy's leg like stabbing a balloon full of blood. The owner was on the line before medics arrived, yelling at us to get the saws working again."
"I was a medic in the Army and an EMT, so I was working on the injured man. The boss yelled at me to get back to the chain and let the injured man lay there till the medics arrived. I loudly told him to go f**k himself and stayed with the victim."
"He threatened to fire me and I told him I was calling OSHA. He shut up."
World Runs On...
"Dunkin. Literally new staff each week. They don't pay their employees. And they screw you over so bad, they make you quit. Not to mention they don't even put you into the system on purpose, not expecting you to last long."
"Also, it's not Krispy Kream. They don't make their donuts fresh. They wait for a truckload and they gotta microwave them so they're not stiff and frozen."
"Don't buy from Dunkin. They overwork and severely underpay their staff."
The Family Clique
"A small town family-owned diner. It was my first job, they took advantage of me for being young and inexperienced, I was underpaid, and the family who worked there was very cliquey."
"They made jokes at my expense, excluded me from certain things, and overall just didn't treat me well."
Fast Food Woes
"McDonald’s was a s**t show. I worked there for nearly two years back in high school. I’ll never forget the cheeseburger lady."
"She would always order a cheeseburger with no cheese (hamburger, but she wouldn’t take that for an answer) One day, she got cheese on her burger. Note that this wasn’t an allergy thing, she just didn’t like our ‘fake cheese.' When she checked her burger at the window, she saw the ungodly sight of cheese staring back at her."
"She slammed the burger on her lap and screamed at the top of her lungs. She just sat there screaming. I awkwardly tried to consult her but instead, I got the burger thrown at me."
"I was 16 at the time, and I knew I wasn’t getting paid enough for that psycho s**t."
Call Center Life
"Customer Service call center. No one can pay me any reasonable amount of money to go back."
"It’s been six years since I left and I still hate talking on the phone for any reason whatsoever."
"Whoever invented that stupid metric where if your satisfaction is eight or lower is considered a failure, I hope you get stuck with a thousand pine needles and are set on fire."
"This was about 25 years ago. It wasn’t an actual job, but I got roped into volunteering for a St. Patrick’s Day dinner at a catholic church where I lived. There were about 10 of us teenagers and our job was to serve food to the people who’d bought tickets. Corned beef, mashed potatoes, and like, steamed carrots…some s**t like that."
"Anyway, like 100 people showed up and they were the rudest sacks of s**t I’d ever encountered in my life. They treated us like dirt. Total disrespect. And I’m sure their treatment was made worse by the fact that we were kids."
"This was the moment I realized I could never ever work in the food industry. I learned a huge lesson that night and have always gone out of my way to be kind to servers and tip extra. It changed my life."
"But also, the joke's on them. The church refused to let us eat anything until all these a**holes had finished their meals (we were told we had to clean up, too), so we kids just started eating off the plates before serving them. We didn’t give a s**t anymore. Had they treated us better, we wouldn’t have done that. F**k those people."
"I volunteered at a hospital ICU, I was by myself and no one would talk to me. The nurses are pretty quiet and the doctors are major douchebags, and the patients are old and sick."
"Because I was volunteering, I got like $15 credit every day for cafeteria food, but my shift ended right when the cafeteria closed, so sometimes I'd ask if I could leave early."
"The nurses would get p**sed about that and make me stay to the very end, even though my job was literally just to sit there and draw grids for their future logbooks... which I already did all day. Jerks wouldn't even let me get some food."
"Telemarketer. They moved me from an outside sales position into a telephone sales one where I would be reporting to the boss's 19-year-old side piece. Part of the job was keeping it secret from his wife."
"That's the only job I didn't give two weeks' notice at."
"This is not even remotely as bad as others, but babysitting a three-year-old who was obsessed with stairs."
"The kid lived on the first floor of an apartment building and had never really gotten to play on stairs until I was looking after her at my place while her mom was working late and their regular babysitter was unavailable."
"I was 13 or 14 at the time, I think. You can only chase a kid up and down the stairs for so long before you want to curl in a ball and sleep for two days. I played several sports at the time too."
"But after literal hours of her wanting me to chase her up and down the stairs, I wanted to die. Even our dog, a hyper lab mix, had long since pooped out and went off to sleep somewhere, lol (laughing out loud)."
Everyone has their workplace horror stories, but there typically will always be that one workplace that was particularly bad with one day that served as the ultimate deal breaker. At least these experiences help us to appreciate the better opportunities that come along!
People Reveal The Most Out Of Touch Thing A Rich Person Has Ever Said To Them
No matter how empathetic we are, or how hard we try, there are just some things we can't understand without walking in someone else's shoes.
That said, people who live with more privilege can say some especially out-of-touch things.
Prepared to side-eye, Redditor BananaBR13 asked:
"What was the most out-of-touch with reality thing a rich person ever said to you?"
Invest in Property
"My boss asked me why I didn’t just buy a house in her neighborhood instead of renting an apartment. The houses there were $300-500,000 (very pricy for my area), and she was paying me nine dollars per hour…"
"I had literally just applied for food stamps."
"A coworker of mine was talking with a parent once (summer camp in a rich town). The parent mentioned how she loved my coworker's dress, and wanted to know where she bought it, with the stipulation that it cost under $10,000…"
"It turns out she had bought the dress on clearance for something like $10."
"When she explained this, the parent just laughed like it was a joke, saying, 'No really, how much was it?'"
"I've never seen someone thaaat out of touch."
What Paid Vacation?
"Not a quote from the person, but my sister and I were planning a weekend trip with our two cousins, and one of them just could not understand why we couldn’t make the trip longer and couldn’t seem to understand the concept of taking time off work and that we can’t just not show up whenever we feel like it."
Yeah, Because That's the Same.
"I was complaining about mortgage payments, and she said, 'I know, I finally just took the money out of savings and paid mine off so I wouldn't have to worry about it every month.'"
Yay for Trust Funds
"I overheard a girl (one of my wife’s cousins, whose dad is very, very wealthy) say, 'Yeah, things got really rough for a bit there, I even had to pull money from my trust fund.'"
" I actually laughed out loud and she looked at me disapprovingly because I wasn’t in the conversation."
"This same girl gets an allowance (separate from the trust) of $6k per month. When she turned 21, she posted on Facebook, 'Hooray everyone, I finally got a raise this week!'"
"Everyone was congratulating her on her hard work, which is funny because she doesn’t have a job, it just meant her monthly allowance increased because she got older."
Tales from the Gift Closet
"One time a client’s kid gave a coworker an iPad. Brand new, unopened box. My coworker was a little uncomfortable receiving such an expensive gift from a kid."
"The kid just said, 'Don’t worry, I just grabbed it out of the gift closet.'"
"We were confused, so we asked him what a gift closet is."
"Apparently, their family keeps a whole closet loaded with stuff like this - Apple Watches, cameras, iPads, etc so that whenever they need to give a gift, they always have something on hand."
"In college, I was washing a bowl in the sink and someone said, 'That's the weirdest thing about college for me, not having a dishwasher.'"
"I said, 'Man, I didn't have one until high school and it was s**t so it couldn't clean pans.'"
"Him: 'Oh, I meant like someone to wash the dishes for us...'"
"Me: 'You're joking, right?'"
"He was not joking, but I got invited to their upstate place for spring break so that was cool."
Oh Yes, the Nanny...
"My husband was on a business trip w some rich people in Hawaii. They asked why I didn’t come."
"He told them I was home with the kids."
"The guy said, 'Well, couldn’t the nanny just stay with them?'"
"Nice enough guy. Just out of touch for sure."
Gotta Have That Car
"Back when I worked in payroll, a doctor yelled at me because his administrator didn’t process his bi-monthly incentive on time so it missed his check"
" He was supposed to go pick up his new Mercedes with that money (it was 6 figures) so he threw a fit to have a check cut that day."
"Two weeks later, that same doctor did not approve a check to be cut for an hourly employee whose hours (two weeks' worth) didn’t get approved on time because it was only $1000 and they wouldn’t miss it."
"I had to go above him to get it approved because I knew that employee would definitely be negatively impacted by not being paid on time."
Tell Me Something I Don't Know
"2008, Great Recession: My job was cut from full-time salary to hourly, and then my hours were cut regularly."
"My boss, the business owner who was in the midst of a company-paid whole home remodel, handed me my paycheck and said, 'Wow, you don’t make s**t!'"
"I didn't go to college for seven years after high school due to struggles with alcoholism and bipolar disorder."
"A kid I worked with asked me what I was doing working and going to school at 25, and when I said I took time off due to personal issues, his response was, 'Wow, if you're not making at least 100 K a year at 25, you've basically f**ked your life up.'"
Why Didn't We Think of This?
"Why have roommates at all? I don't think anyone I knew had roommates. Seems like too much trouble. Just spend the extra hundred on rent and live in peace."
"Said by an 80-year-old man."
Cheaper to Replace Than to Fix
"'If your car is broken, why don't you just go buy a new car?'"
"He was dead-pan serious."
Travel Those Feelings Away
"'Oh, you get seasonal depression? Why don’t you just go to the Caribbean for a week and the Mediterranean the next? It always helps me.'"
"I have a friend and she is very wealthy. She was talking about finding a charity for Christmas."
"I mentioned that there were people going places and paying off Christmas layaways. I mentioned a town I grew up in as a possibility. I told them the per capita income is 9k."
"And she said, '9k a month!!!! How do those people live!'"
"Then I had to tell her it was 9k a year. She was floored."
"She is actually a very very sweet and caring person and donates millions a year to so many wonderful places and causes."
While these people likely meant well, it's eye-opening to see how little financially privileged people understand about how people in lower income brackets live.
Hopefully some of the people in these stories had their eyes opened and were able to make a difference, especially that last one.