"What screams 'I’m insecure'?"
The Wisest People Are Those Always Willing To Learn
"When people are unable to admit that they don’t know something."- slimytoads
not listening no way GIFGiphyOther People's Success Are Not Your Failures
"Mocking someone else's achievement."- SuvenPan
Never Pick Yourself Up By Taking Others Down
"Belittling others."- Term-Haunting
"Always talking badly about others and trying to make them look weak/bad."- Pildith
The Simpsons GIF by MOODMANGiphyMaybe Honesty Isn't Always The Best Policy...
"When you're quick to be 'brutally honest' with others, but have a meltdown when someone does it back to you."-eF240uKX52hp
Not As Funny As They Think...
"People who tear other people down as a joke but then get mad when they get it handed back to them."
"Clearly they either aren’t joking or are too sensitive to be dishing out sh*t."- babythrottlepop
Being On Top Adds More Possibilities Of Falling Down...
"Trying to one-up people in every conversation."- Flanky_Bwai
"One upping people in conversation."
"If I tell you I had a great trip to X place, I don’t need to hear about your better trip to someplace else that’s ostensibly 'better'."- I_Am_The_Grapevine
kristen wiig television GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphySome Things Speak For Themselves...
"Constantly saying what kind of person you are."
"If you were, you wouldn’t have to tell us."- ubereddit
A Little Contrition Goes A Long Way...
"Never apologizing."
"Making excuses and even twisting the facts but never apologize."- SuvenPan
But Enough About Me, What Do You Think Of Me?
"Constant projection and self-serving compliments."- nhabz
Look At Me Kiki GIF by The Bachelor AustraliaGiphyWhat Are They Even Trying To Prove?
"Revving your vehicle loudly every time you pass another person."- msnmck
Superior By Association
“'You will address me by my husband’s rank!'”- Psychological-Stay16
PDA Much?
"Elaborate Instagram and Facebook posts declaring love for one’s significant other over and over and over."- jbmaun
Happy Married At First Sight GIF by LifetimeGiphyAlways Needing Validation
"People who can’t think or feel anything without being told that it’s okay to do so."- Diesel07012012
It's sad that so many people think the only way to overcome something which makes them embarrassed or afraid is by embarrassing or demeaning others.
When being open and honest about your insecurities might, instead, result in your finding common ground with others.
And making new, lifelong friends in the process.
Insecurity is a horrible affliction. It holds us all back from fulfilling our greatest potentials and nobody is immune. We often feel like we're the only ones walking about with these issues but we're not.
if only...
Jimmy Fallon Lol GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy FallonGiphy"I'm short. As a 5'5 male compliments are nearly always followed up with something along the lines of "if only you were taller."
"status"
"My job and income. (I'm a receptionist)."
"You're not alone. I wouldn't consider myself really attractive, pretty average. However, I have trouble feeling confident with people I believe are in the same attractiveness range as me because so many of my peers have achieved "status" and I'm still not there."
It all Matters
"Whether I mean as much to the people who mean so much to me. I took a friend out for dinner for his birthday recently and he said something that made me realize he was having as good a time as I was. It made me tear up for a second, remembering that the people I love also love me."
"They want to be included by me as much as I do by them. Sometimes this thought process has led me to treat people I love as an afterthought because I didn't think it would matter to them. But it did. I do."
Face It
"I'm considered "physically attractive" from the neck down, which is fair, I agree. So, my face is what I'm insecure about."
"Bruh some guy once came up to me and said "me and 'guy group' rated all girls in our year from 0-10 (yes they actually gave someone a zero), wanna know your score?" after unpolitely declining he went ahead anyway and said "your body is an 8 but your face is pulling you down"... Well... Tf am I supposed to say to that?"
- Nylnin
Anxiety
kermit worry GIFGiphy"I worry about how I look without clothes, my personality flaws, and my income (guy btw)."
How can the flawless feel so many flaws? I wonder how many are in therapy. I worry about all of those things every day.
"get someone better"
GIF by HULUGiphy"When I was thin and hot, my boyfriend told me he was scared I'd cheat on him because I could "get someone better." He ended up cheating on me, saying he couldn't take the pressure. I worry about that still. Even though I'm single I have a hard time trusting someone's loyalty."
is it me?
"I was considered quite attractive in my 20s and never had much trouble meeting guys. But I had real trouble keeping boyfriends. I was told more than once that I was boring. I'm quiet and a huge introvert and am perfectly happy spending a day reading or watching movies. But I guess that wasn't fun for the men I liked. So as a result I was, and still am quite insecure about my personality."
Never Enough
"Never feel good enough."
- USMCseth
"This. No matter how attractive you are there is always someone that looks better. The grass is always greener. I get told I'm attractive and I'll agree to an extent that I'm not ugly but I will never be perfect. I will constantly pick at my flaws no matter how small they are."
"My hips are too square, my teeth are yellow and crooked, my boobs aren't perky enough, my butt isn't fat enough, my lips aren't big enough, my eyes aren't perfectly equal... that's just scraping the surface. People I love and want to have loved me will tell me they think I'm beautiful and I won't believe them. Like it's a lie. I'll get mad sometimes when my boyfriend tells me I'm the most beautiful woman in the world."
"He might believe it but it's not true, and it's too much pressure to keep that up. I have wide hips a small waist and big boobs. I'm symmetrical and proportionate but there is no way I can ever compete with the thousands and thousands of Instagram models or pornstars or even beautiful strangers that my partner will be exposed to every day. Why even bother with me?"
Bad Partners
"My partner not really loving me."
"Oh that hit home. I have this but I am female, guys will date me for months saying all the things I want to hear and sleep with me, only to then tell me they've found someone else and they're together. I have been told numerous times I was used as an ego boost by guys I generally liked, I'm actually still friends with one. Now I have been single for 7 years (I've had some dates) with huge trust issues, knowing the older I get as a woman the less attractive I become and it's a never-ending cycle."
Being Blah...
"How cool I actually am. I'm a good looking guy but I've had a boring life in some capacities."
"When the world shut down last year I found out other people had to give up a lot more fun and exciting plans than I did. That really hit home and I'm working to change it."
No matter who you are, or what you're feeling, you're not alone. There is a life lesson we seem to cross paths with everyday. And now we know those we envy are in the same boat, they're just in a prettier one.
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Visible anxiety is common during, say, a job interview or a first date. The commonality is the need to win someone over, and there is something endearing about that.
However, some people would rather hide their uncertainties in negative ways that can be annoying as all heck.
Curious to hear what strangers on the internet had to say, Redditor confuciusly asked:
"What screams 'I'm insecure?'"
Taking Others Down With Them
Perhaps one of the biggest indicators of someone being insecure is the need to make others feel the same by pointing out their flaws.
Can people who do this sleep at night?
Hurtful Tactic
"putting someone down in a group conversation to make themselves seem better."
"In my engineering class last semester I was basically put in a group to give a few solutions to a problem. I made a suggestion and one person in my group was like, 'wow that's a bad idea' and I basically just shut up for the rest of the thing. Then when all the groups presented their solutions, ofc they all had variations of my 'bad idea' and I internally face-palmed so F'ING hard.
And to clarify, yes the professor thought it was a great solution."
Sharing In Others' Joys
"The inability to be genuinely happy for others."
"If other people's success or happiness feels threatening or uncomfortable, that is usually due to insecurity. If you're confident, you can separate their life from yours, not compare and focus on your own lane and you can be happy for others for succeeding in theirs. Understanding that your value isn't diminished by the fortune of others."
– poozu
Pitying The Unfortunate
"Pointing out someone's flaws as a 'joke' or a way to look cool."
A Pat On The Back
Some people are not content in just knowing they have done well.
They need approval from others by listing their accomplishments to elicit a reaction. What they end up getting, however, is one big eye-roll.
Seeking Validation
"Fishing for compliments. Nothing annoys me more."
"When my wife and I moved into our house I got approached by the neighbor across the street. He introduced himself, said he was retired from the military and said he makes a ton of money from disability. I think during our 10 minute or so conversation the topic of money was brought up at least 5 times and it all circled back to how well off he was. And then he started talking sh!t about the neighbor that lives next door to us."
"I could tell he really wanted people to be impressed and like him."
– Edge80
Intellectual Prefix
A parent of a child I teach is in Mensa and she's convinced that means she can teach him better than us. 'I'm in Mensa and I think-' is a prefix to everything she says when we try to put anything in place for him. Why should his less than 50% attendance be a problem? His mother's in Mensa! That means he'll learn more at home (never mind that he's 10 and can't count or read)."
A Dose Of Sarcasm
"Yeah, I have a distaste for that too. Fortunately i'm much more acute than a lot of other Homosapiens who just aren't as fortunate as I to develop such a well perceptive disposition. Inconceivable that such incomprehension could draw breath in this world but not surprising that I consider them so simple minded. I mean I am very apt so it's no surprise that they couldn't reach my level knowledge. Yeah honestly i'm even sometimes surprised by my own intelligence and learning ability."
Keeping Appearances
There is nothing wrong with expressing gratitude for the good things happening in a person's life – whether it's a good job or a wonderful marriage.
But there should be a statute of limitations before it gets into bragging territory.
Look At Meee
"Posting 15 times a day about your life on social media. Secure people don't need to seek validation for everything they do."
Aftermath Of A Breakup
"My sister in law does this, and then boom she broke up with who-ever-the-hell-cares and proceeds to post a bunch of those 'inspirational' quotes about how the most caring, soft hearted people get taken advantage of and then they turn into the coldest, hardest person you know."
Feigning Busyness
"Acting like you're so much busier than everyone else. I have a coworker who pretends to talk on the phone with people, always emails everybody at 10:00 pm to make it look like he's 'working late,' constantly complains about how much is on his plate, etc. He feels the need to constantly be validating his worth to everyone."
The subReddit went viral because the scenario of people having all the obvious signs of insecurity was relatable.
They have most likely been vulnerable themselves enough to recognize the telltale signs.
So how do we avoid engaging with these annoying individuals – especially a friend?
While giving in to ridiculing someone who hides their insecurities with a veneer of immodesty, there might be an opportunity there to open up a conversation and lend a sympathetic ear.
It's not a one-size-fits-all solution, but sometimes, we all just want to be heard.