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The Exact Moment People Realized Their Significant Other Was Toxic

Reddit user BlackenSphinx asked: 'What did your partner say or do that made you realize that they were a toxic person?'

Man holding onto partner's hand
Photo by Seth Reese on Unsplash

Content Warning: Toxic Behavior

As much as we might like to hope otherwise, not all relationships are meant to work out.

Not only are some couples not meant to be, but sometimes there are super valid reasons for a relationship to end beyond simply not being compatible, like toxic behaviors.

But a significant other being toxic will not be obvious upon first meeting them or going on a first date with them. Otherwise, we never would have dated them in the first place.

Redditor BlackenSphinx asked:

"What did your partner say or do that made you realize that they were a toxic person?"

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

"When they kept apologizing for the same thing, then doing it anyway, never changing for the past 10 years."

- crunchy_soupp

"My wife got a quote from a teacher that we've tried to instill in our kids:"

"'Saying sorry means not doing it again.'"

"Obviously, accidents aren't included, but yeah when you hurt someone and apologize, don't do that thing again."

- JollySquatter

A New Kind of Arranged Marriage

"Lots of things, but I think probably the worst and most impactful was when she peed on a stick for her friend while she was pregnant."

"Her friend then convinced her boyfriend to marry her. They were divorced several years later, after what I can only assume was an absolutely awful marriage."

- conspirized

Emotional Abuse

"'Nobody as good looking as me will ever love your personality.'"

- MrNobody26501

"Ugh, that's the kind of s**t I'd think about and let eat me away for YEARS."

- SenorDangerw**k

In Sickness and In Health

"I was at a party with my ex-wife and someone brought out a newspaper with headlines about a local official being in an accident and being paralyzed."

"My ex-wife, without hesitation, said, 'If that happened to my husband, I would be out of here.'"

- nobody333254

"My biggest motivator of leaving an ex was that I couldn’t see him taking care of me if something were to happen to me."

- Puzzleheaded_Elk6243

Children Come First

"This one is minor, but I had an ex who wanted to buy her daughter some new shoes. We were at an outlet mall and they had a BOGO (Buy One, Get One Free) sale."

"She found a cute pair for herself but was having trouble finding a pair for her daughter."

"I love being helpful and found a pair that fit her daughter's personality to a T."

"But she wouldn't buy them because they were $5 more expensive than the pair she was getting for herself."

"Both were combined under $50, and she wasn't hurting for cash. She just refused to spend more on her daughter than on herself out of principle."

- Calm-and-worthy

"This one reallyyyyy irritates me. She sounds like the kind of 'parent' who wouldn't give up a meal to make sure their baby ate if it came down to it."

"As someone who has to make that decision nearly every day... my baby eats, even if I don't. Always."

- DakotaTheAtlas

The Silent Treatment

"We weren't living together, but he randomly cut me off for like a full week. He wouldn't answer my texts or anything. We were long-distance (different colleges halfway across the country) so I couldn't, like, go check on him."

"Anyway, he finally comes back and tells me it was a punishment for not being interesting enough. He liked me because I was an intellectual who would have Deep Conversations (tm) with him and I'd been talking too much about things he didn't find interesting."

"I dumped him shortly after and he acted like it came out of nowhere."

- baby_yaga

Overly Critical

"He criticized everybody. He was mean about his family, his friends, and his colleagues. It seemed very small at first, I knew he was depressed and so was naturally more cynical and had a low view of himself, but he'd laugh and joke with friends on the phone or in person for hours and then the minute they were gone... Awful."

"I rationalized it for too long and then realized it would be the same about me. Then convinced myself it wouldn't be because he always hyped me up... Until I heard it."

"He played the victim so, so well. Scary, really."

- Important_Sprinkles9

Ableism at Its Finest

"I had an ex say. 'What could you possibly be depressed about?'"

"I was an id**t and stayed with her for three more years after that."

- WhatIsAJahBone

Not Over Their Ex

"He slept with his ex frequently for six months... in the house that I bought us... in my childhood bed that I took with me from home... all whilst I was at work."

"He was changing over phones from an old school brick type to an iPhone. He went out to work and his old phone kept buzzing. I saw a very familiar name pop up…"

"He told me that she was crazy and they weren’t in contact as she was obsessed with him (Red flag, I know). There are some things I read that I wish I could erase from my memory."

"When everything was out in the open, she began bullying me online about it."

"We were engaged. as well. Lucky I found out before we got married!"

- MissQII

Different Definitions of "Cheating"

"She cheated on me with a Yankees player because I 'cheated on her first.'"

"How did I cheat? By going to her favorite burger spot without her while she was having sushi with her girlfriends."

"I found out she cheated with three other guys too."

- HawaiianSteak

"Somehow the most venom in this story came from 'a Yankee player,' lol (laughing out loud)."

- SoftcoverWand44

"I'm guessing he's either a Mets or Red Sox fan."

- ScorpionX-123

Gone with the Rose-Colored Glasses

"It wasn't so much what he was saying but the action he did about it."

"He used to tell me all the time that I should get contact lenses because he wanted to see what I looked like without glasses."

"I need glasses full time to see because I have an extremely bad prescription and astigmatism. They're both very high and it's impossible to see without glasses. If I take my glasses off, I can't even find them so I have to make sure I know exactly where I set them."

"One day out of town for a large event we had been planning to attend for over a year, he hid my glasses and acted like he couldn't find them."

"I had NEVER had glasses just disappear. It might take me a while to find them, but if I have someone else around me, it's usually somewhere obvious."

"I figured, 'Oh, that's okay, I have prescription sunglasses on me, as well; I'll just wear sunglasses for the event.' I asked him to pull them out of my bag as they were in a zip glass case, I know for a fact they are in there because I switched them out after arriving at the hotel."

"He pulled out the case and tried to tell me they weren't in there and that I must have dropped them somewhere."

"I begged him to help me search the hotel, I called downstairs, I had staff members helping me search, and I was in the lobby on my hands and knees feeling around trying to find them."

"He was busy getting ready upstairs and told me to just go to the event without them; I'll be fine."

"I absolutely refuse to leave without my glasses. I told him to go have a good time but I'm not leaving the hotel room and going into a crowded strange place in a strange city being unable to see."

"Well suddenly, right before we're about to leave, he pretended he found my glasses and they were just sitting on the bathroom counter the whole time. As if I didn't search every single inch and feel around every inch of that vanity."

"After some crying, he admitted that he hid both of my glasses because he just wanted me to see that it's not so bad and that if I just go without them for a little while my eyes will adjust and I'll be able to see fine."

- ConceptAggravating95

Silence to the Extreme

"I had a girlfriend who got mad at me, and I had no idea why. For three days, she would call, say nothing, and if I hung up, she would call back."

"I turned off my phone, and she'd call my parents or show up at my house (in high school still living with my parents). This went on for three days. I basically didn't sleep."

"I was a senior and still in school, and she had graduated the year before. On the third night, she yelled at me for keeping her up, and it was the end of the fight."

"The next day, I asked what I did. She said nothing she was just angry and wanted to fight."

"It took me going to college and her finding some other poor sap to torture to finally get away from her. I was young and naive, and now know I should have involved a court order and police."

"It was h**l. But from it, I ended up with my now wife, and without that h**l, I would not be where I am today, which is something I would never change."

- FineSL

The Most Controlling of the Controlling

"She yelled at me for wanting to talk to my family after she and my dad had a minor argument. She also blocked my old friends, family, and coworkers in my phone while I slept."

- Arcane_booty_Magic

"Throw the whole girl away."

- BlackenSphinx

"I did that a month ago, and this has been the best month I've had in three years."

- Arcane_booty_Magic

These accounts were terribly eye-opening, and they're a great reminder that a toxic relationship may not be identifiable until it's made glaringly obvious to us.

Fortunately, all of these Redditors were talking about exes, which means that they were able to move beyond these tough situations.

The Absolute Weirdest Questions People Have Been Asked In A Job Interview

Reddit user TinyTbird12 asked: 'What is the weirdest question you’ve been asked at a job interview, what happened?'

job interview
Van Tay Media on Unsplash

I once burst out laughing during a job interview.

It was for an internal position so I knew all of the interviewers well, but even if I hadn't I doubt I could have kept a straight face.

What cracked me up?

This interview question:

"If I attended a backyard BBQ with your last boss, what do you think they'd say about you?"

After I stopped laughing,

I told the interviewer—who happened to be my then boss' boss:

"I'm sorry, but that sounds like a question from the Miss America Pageant."

The interview panel got a laugh out of that. And yes, I did answer the question.

So what odd, absurd or just plain strange interview questions have people gotten?

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The holiday season is lovely, but it's full of pressure to travel, plan, host, and of course, get gifts for a lot of people.

But the thing we don't really talk about is how common it is to want something specific and to not have someone in our life who tries to seek out what that thing is.

Unless we get it for ourselves, it's common that we won't get what we actually want.

Redditor GeneralSpectatorTots asked:

"What do you want for Christmas that you know you aren't going to get?"

​Sobriety 

"My brother to be sober and happy."

- whatwhatwhat82

"I’m also trying to get sober. I wish your brother well. Keep being a support to him."

- Keri2816

A New Home

"A house deposit."

- WolfGirl_4

"A house deposit? Just gift you a house!"

- Grenflik

A Financial Advantage

"A winning lottery ticket."

- Krem541

"Every year I ask Santa. Every f**king year."

- kuchikopi626

Grandma's Homecooked Meals

"One last meal from my grandma. She made the best food, and of course, you don't know the last time is going to be the last time until it's too late."

- fakefishy

Family Love

"Love from my parents."

- bub_501

"This mom is sending you a long hug."

- hippocampus237

A Professional Massage

"A gift certificate for a professional massage. I can't bring myself to spend the money on myself. I need to just bite the bullet and do it."

"I have asked for one every year for years. Sometimes it's the only thing I ask for from my parents and my partner (when they ask what I want)."

"I always get wonderful gifts that I love, use, and/or needed but I REALLY WANT A F**KING MASSAGE."

- agbmom

The Best Neighbor

"A card from my twin brother saying, 'Just kidding, I’m not moving to Washington, I actually found a place in your neighborhood!'"

- insertcaffeine

Very Important Things

"Free Healthcare and a good used car for my husband."

- Sufficient_Letter883

The End to Ableism

"Independence and not being infantilized because I’m a 37-year-old disabled woman and no one in my family understands (extended family who all live within 10 mins of me)."

- Keri2816

World Travel

"Guilt-free travel! It's like asking for a never-ending vacation. How I wish I could just hop around the world without worrying about a thing!"

- KayleNewirk

Sounds Like Paradise

"A pretty, and big apartment for me and my cat."

- cats-autumn

"For my cat to let me sleep through the night."

- Cheese_BasedLifeform

Moving Solutions

"A stress-free move, with eight days between closings of two houses four states apart, and four pets to manage in temporary housing. Help me, Santa, I’ve been a good girl."

- Kind-Dust7441

Ready To Be Done!

"For my doctoral capstone paper to finally be approved so I can be done with school! Please, please, Santa, I’m on rewrite 19!"

- TomatilloNo4213

Two Front Teeth

"My two front teeth... My two front teeth."

"But seriously, teeth."

"Mine are all falling out due to an autoimmune disease, and I need implants."

- donkeybrainz13

The Perfect Partner

"A partner to go on adventures with… have singalongs with… and who adores and truly sees me."

- miaoouu

While we may have been expecting some silly responses, or even for someone to finally buy the right brand of a favorite candle or lotion or makeup, these responses were a great reminder of what's really important.

And unfortunately, many of the most important things can't be replaced or fit into a Christmas stocking.

Person holding bouquet of flowers
Carrie Beth Williams/Unsplash

Breaking up is hard to do no matter who initiated it.

But once time has passed and exes have moved on, the healing process can be jarred by a surprise.

A regretfilled person may try and make contact with the one they broke up with and ask for forgiveness, or the person who had their heart broken could also reappear and plead for a fresh new start.

The outcome depends on how much, or how little, the spark of love remains.

Curious to hear more of this scenario from strangers online, Redditor XenaVonKeksdose asked:

"What would you say to your ex if they suddenly showed up at your door?"

For these Redditors, it wouldn't be a happy reunion.

Either, Or

"It ranges from 'come on in and make yourself comfortable' to 'get the f'k out of here' , depending on which one shows up."

– Lone_Buck

"Odds of it being the one who got away: low."

"Odds of it being the one who took 5 years to understand what 'f'k off' meant: pretty high."

– liquid_acid-OG

It's A Nightmare

"Screaming. They've passed."

– BigGrayBeast

"Similar situation here. I did have a dream that my late wife showed up at my door. She said, 'There was a mix up at the coroner, you wouldn’t believe what I’ve been through.”'

"Still in the dream we talked for a bit about nothing. Then I said, 'Wait, what about the life insurance, do we have to pay it back?' And just after that I woke up."

– AnonEMoussie

No Thanks

"Nah"

"Slowly closes the door while maintaining eye contact."

"Also aggressively locks the door."

– SnooCats7666

"raises drawbridge."

– lunalives

Some would show traces of resentment.

Unwelcome

"The f'k do you want? And how did you get this address?"

– s73v3m4nn

"wtf ffs"

– zxr7

Too Little Too Late

"You couldn't put in effort in messaging me, but you have effort now to see me months after we break up‽"

– ShyTerraWolf

"Wait, if you’re here who’s running hell?”

– So__bored

"Who’s guarding HADES."

– Boostio_TV

Hit 'Em Where It Hurts

"I lost weight... You seem to have found it."

– elmo-1959

"now get the f'k off my lawn."

– starkresilient

"Savage."

– 20190229

Others shared less bitter responses.

Coming Clean

"Honestly, I apologize. I know dealing with my prior alcoholism must have been a nightmare. I regret causing you and anyone else pain and hope you are happy. I am a year into sobriety and can understand why it ended. I wish you well."

"Edit: Since this is getting so much traction, I just want to say thanks for all the support. This could honestly be directed at a few of my exes. I am happily married now to someone that also got a taste of my drinking. We stuck it out while I got sober and I have to credit her with being an amazing support system. I also need to shout out r/stopdrinking for providing reinforcement on a daily basis. It is a great community. Naltrexone was also a major part of it. I can't change the past but I think I have a much better hold on the future."

– vivazeta

Someone That I Used To Know

"I've been married for almost 25 years, I don't know if I would even recognize any exes."

– 4a4a

"Yep. That person went from 'ex' to 'someone I once dated' years ago."

– ktwhite42

Expressing Regrets

"I'm sorry for the way I treated you."

– warlordwinters

"Good on you for growing."

– Zealousideal_Ad_7465

Catching Up

"I’d say hello! What are you doing here? It has been a long time."

– ExaminationLucky6082

Wish You Well

"A lot of snarky or comical answers in here, but I'll try to be as sincere as I can."

"My first major ex, first time I got my heart broken: I would sincerely hope that she's doing well. She broke my heart, but it was for the best and it made me into the man I am today. I don't want to think of how much worse I would be if she hadn't given me a reality check wake-up-call. So really just 'Hey, how have you been? I hope the years have been kind to you.'"

"My most recent ex, the first and only time I've had to break someone's heart: I honestly just hope that she can forgive me for having to make taking care of myself and my needs the priority in my life. She's an amazing woman, kindergarten school teacher, unanimously adored by everyone that meets her. But we met via travels, and lived in two different states. Circumstances shifted and seeing each other became much less frequent. Neither of us wanted to quit our jobs and chuck a grenade into our lives and careers. Eventually, for my own mental and emotional health, I had to call it. I truly hope she finds someone amazing, she deserves it. So I would just sincerely hope that she understands, and has moved on."

– obaterista93

I once showed up at an exes door after I broke up with him about a month prior.

I genuinely loved and missed him after making the very difficult decision to end things due to conflicting circumstances that kept us from maintaining a healthy relationship.

But I quickly learned that if you did the breaking up, you should respect the other person's space for a respectable amount of time.

I went to visit him at the apartment where we lived together and a new lover answered the door for him after there was a long period of giggles and lots of feet shuffling from behind the door.

Clearly, he was doing just fine.

Of course, I wasn't welcomed in and was asked what I wanted, to which I had no answer but, "do you have any mail for me?"

Sasquatch
Jon Sailer on Unsplash

People the world over develop their own specific folklore, heavily influenced by the natural world around them and their own culture.

The North American continent was no different.

Reddit user A_KULT_KILLAH wanted to know about the myths and legends of the Indigenous peoples of North America.

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