People Confess Whether The Number Of Someone's Previous Sexual Partners Matter To Them While Dating
Sex. Let's have a frank discussion.
Most of us have it. And many of us have had it with several different people over time.
That shouldn't be a difficult truth to discuss.
So let's talk numbers.
Do we all have a number that is too high to accept from a partner?
Are the numbers none of our business as long everything turned out fine?
Reddit had some thoughts.
Redditor LaRata59 wanted to discuss everybody's past sexual history, so they asked:
"Does the amount of sexual encounters your partner has had matter to you? Why or why not?"
If you're willing to be intimate with a partner, you should be open to having difficult conversations.
Keep QuietAmy Schumer No GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy
"I don’t mind, but ten minutes after sex I don’t want to hear your last girlfriend was 24 when you’re 42. Or hear how awesome sex was with your ex-wife, or how great sex was in Guam with your ex-girlfriend."
"I would care only because my wife and I have been together since high school and we both should have 1 partner each... each other. So if that's not true it would be a problem."
"Same here but 4 years a go my wife had a brief affair and I'm still struggling to get past it since we are still together (of sorts)."
"Me too. I found out 2 years ago. I think about it every day, I’m definitely not past it. We are still together and have been for 18 years. It has really destroyed me."
I was convinced...
"So long as they haven't run through my entire friend group, I don't care."
"A few years ago, I started to worry about a girl in our friend group that I suspected of having an eye on my boyfriend at the time. I expressed that to him, and he reassured me of the fact that he had several girlfriends and that he was not attracted to her anyway."
"She was single and she liked to party a lot. He concluded by telling me 'anyways that girl, she slept with all my friends.' I was convinced. Well, guess what, he's now married and has two kids with her."
Who Cares?Eddie Murphy Whatever GIF by Coming to AmericaGiphy
"As long as the count doesn't continue increasing during the relationship, it doesn't matter at all. I have a past, too."
Who cares? Carry on...
Be Silentnot listening stephen colbert GIFGiphy
"No but also don't want to know, so I never ask."
"Yeah, as long as you're clean and not comparing me to past lovers. Also, I sure as f**k don't want to hear about them. I'm very visual, so I'm not trying to picture your previous sexcapades, thank you.
"I was seeing a girl that had a lot of guy friends. It would come to light that she had slept with all of them at one point. Co-workers, long time friends, boyfriends of her girlfriends etc. It's unnerving socially to know that so many people in the social circle you're joining has been with the person you're trying to have a relationship with."
"It would also come to light that she had a 'wild period' where she would hook up with 3-4 random guys in a week. I thought it was in the past so I looked the other way. But things like trauma, dissociation during intimacy, trust issues, bad boundaries with the opposite sex, judgment over your own sexual appetite etc were all becoming an issue."
"She eventually cheated while visiting family back home with someone she said had abused her physically and mentally. A lot of the times, it is a sign of someone who has serious mental health issues or very low self worth. Either case does not result in a healthy relationship and you should tread lightly."
"No, to a point. To me, the past only matter in its ability to catch up to the present. If someone has had sex with 50 people but it never has a negative effect on our life together and she still enjoys sex with me, then it’s not a problem."
"However if someone has had sex with 5 people and all 5 are frequently coming back into her life and causing drama for both of us, or if she can’t enjoy sex with me due to comparing it to a past partner, then that it is an issue."
"So to me it’s not the number, but the affect of the number. With that being said, it’s not something I would ask about because typically if the past is going to be a problem there are better warning signs."
"For me, a very introverted person, sex is one of the most intimate things in a relationship. And if the other person doesn't need the same emotional connection beforehand. I would feel just like another body in their 'collection.' But also I don't shame anybody partaking in the hookup culture. It's just not something for me."
Be SureIs This Thing On Bob GIF by RedbrickGiphy
"It does not matter to me however I’m still be cautious of STD/STI; so I’d prefer they get tested before we have sex."
The past is the past. Maybe let it be.
Finding love is something that nearly everyone hopes for at some point in their life.
For some, love practically finds them. They hardly need any time searching for the true love.
Others might have to work a little harder and be a little more patient. They never give up the hope that their one true love is out there, somewhere.
Then there are those for whom the search simply isn't worth it and have found themselves resigned to the fact that they may never find someone.
Whether or not that's how they want their life to be.
"Have you given up on love, if so why?"
Fear Of Getting Hurt
"To me the price I have to pay if I want to be in a relationship is I have to be vulnerable."
"And at some level I just don’t want to get hurt that bad again."
"I accept this, and have family, friends, work, hobbies, and things to look forward to."
"So while I wouldn’t say I have given up on love, I’m not looking for it and would be very wary of any new situation."- hdhdhdhdzjursx
"Gotta be honest, pretty much have."
"The last person I loved romantically found just about every way to put me down and reject me, all the while pulling me back in repeatedly."
"It was not worth it."
"I'm going solo but still kind of hoping for Miracle."
"I like me."- ATXDefenseAttorney
Don't Have The Energy
"Yes, because I'm tired."
"Tired of going out to find someone to love, tired of getting to know a new person and being comfortable enough to fall in love, tired of learning new things about this new person and whether we are compatible, tired of meeting each other's families and getting to know a whole new bunch of people..."
"Being single may be lonely, but I won't be exhausted."- Avelevanstar
"Not sure if I've given up, but I am getting real tired."
"Having to get to know new people, putting my heart out there without knowing if I'll succeed this time, so tiring."
"I'm learning more about myself in therapy, and I've seen ladies' heads turn when I speak, I've been told I have a nice voice, but chasing a lady is so much work for so little payoff."
"Never had a girlfriend before too, and I'm hitting 40 soon."
"Each new lady is a learning experience but it's also incredibly draining."
"Sometimes I just wanna curl up on my bed and ignore the whole world."- Blim004
It's Given Up On Them
"I haven't given up on love, but I doubt I will ever love again."
"After 53 years and so many attempts that ended in tears, I don't think I will ever have that chance again for a variety of reasons."
"I spend times just trying to come to terms that I will die alone someday."- kalwayne3573
For Their own Self-Care
"Need to repair myself so the next guy doesn’t have to do it for me."- Beginning-Match592
Lack Of Reciprocation
"Given up on love as I am the only one loving, the others just need me."
"When they're done, they push me away."- gameygamer15
Traumatized By Past Mistakes
"Ever fallen in love with someone you shouldn't have fallen in love?"
"So that's why, though I hope time will heal me or sth."- guess_I_feed
"I was in a 10-year abusive relationship."
"Unfortunately I didn’t realize until very late and then I ended it."
"It’s too much of a risk to meet someone again as these type of people are very manipulative and you don’t realize the cruelty they are capable of until you are trauma bonded."
"It’s not easier being single but it’s a lot less heartache."
"I thank my lucky stars every day that I got out."- corickle
"My last four love interests either cheated or 'found a girlfriend'."
"It's left me believing I'm just not a person who can be romantically loved."- Owlmystery
Happy Being Alone
"I’m not capable of giving someone my all and I enjoy my time alone more than anything."
"Two failed marriages later, we chillin."- HDTempo
Life Is Good The Way It Is
"I had a big love."
"It didn't work out."
"Now I live a truly beautiful life alone and I wouldn't trade it for the world."
"I just spent the weekend with my friend, her toddler, new puppy and failing marriage and when I got home I nearly cried with the feeling of gratitude for my peaceful life."- spice-pop
"On romantic love, yes."
"I have so many social aversions and require so much space that I'm neither capable or interested to nurture such a relationship."
"I'm happier and more functional on my own."- USAIsAUcountry
Literally Don't Know What They're Missing
"Never been loved before, can't miss what I haven't experienced."- Allnutsz
"I wasn't socialized from the ages 12-22 and have severe social anxiety."
"It's hard to meet people when you're terrified of them."- owe-me
The true romantics should never give up the hope that their soulmate is out there, somewhere.
That being said, being without a partner is nothing to be ashamed of.
As the only person in control of your own happiness, is you and you alone.
Hiring Managers Explain Which Mistakes Make Them Want To Throw Away Someone's Resume
A resume is so much more than just a simple list of your work experience.
Indeed, your resume is the first step in getting your foot in the door to your dream job, highlighting not only your past experience but your skill set, as well as things about you that will make recruiters want to get to know you more.
On the flip side, sometimes there are things on your resume that will automatically send you to the reject pile.
Of course, this is bound to include common, careless mistakes such as spelling and grammar errors or missing vital information, such as a phone number or email.
However, no two hiring managers will have the same set of red flags they look for on a resume. This can make finding a format that will please everyone something of a fool's errand.
"Hiring managers of Reddit: What makes you immediately throw out a résumé?"
Not In It For The Long Run
"I once received an application from a man in his 60s."
"Solid CV, lots of experience."
"In his cover letter he wrote 'I'm applying because the Job Centre asked me to'."
"Please note that I intend to retire in 6 months time'."
"We had a good laugh, then sent him a very polite rejection letter and wished him a great retirement."-BeerPoweredNonsenseSeason 1 Lol GIF by NBCGiphy
Make Sure They Actually Get The Right Document...
"One time I had someone upload how to upload their resume from Dropbox instead of their resume."- rabidwhale
Always Proof Read!
"I'll usually still interview unless there is no relevant experience, but I've seen some atrocious resumes."
"I've seen people use crutch words like 'uh' in writing for a job description."
"I've also seen a sentence 4 lines long with zero punctuation."
"The same resume will have 'attention to detail' as a skill set."
"I've interviewed for one of those resumes, and the applicant said 'I dunno" to about 80% of my questions, and it turned out he didn't even know what job he applied for'."
"It's not that I'm overly picky, but if someone can't spend the 20 minutes or less that it takes to proof read their resume, are they going to put a lot of effort into their job?"
"Maybe, but it's hard to know."- ChristyM4ck
"'Very meticulous and attentive to detials'."- papparmaneRead Book Club GIFGiphy
Make Sure It's Legible
"The only time I have ever had to throw out a resume was because someone possibly had it in a bag with their lunch and the paper was soaking wet and dissolving as I tried to unfold it."
"It was just unacceptable to process."
"The application was left in a drop box so I don’t know if it was a prank or an actual applicant."- 416unknown
Unprofessional Email Address
"Back in 98 I asked a new group of hires at GIECO to write their email addresses on a list that was passed around."
"Remember email was kinda new back then.. "
"One young female employee's email address included 'mybaldc**tchie'."- catjugglinpimp
"An email address like DankMeister420@."- Kibitznikthe messengers aol GIFGiphy
Never Send Someone In Your Place
"It’s been a long time but I used to do hiring for a cinema."
"Staff were often young, for many it was a first job, making popcorn and selling tickets type of gig."
"I would not pursue anything where parents came in with a CV for their teenager or if parents were contacting me on behalf of their teen."
"Big red flag."
"Either their kid didn’t want he job in the first place or they’re incapable of taking initiative and it doesn’t bode well for how they’d be as an employee."- FigJamAndCitrus
"Having your parents submit your resume while you stand silently beside them."- krim2182
It's Pure, Dumb Luck!
"I remember a meme or maybe a tv skit from a while back."
"The hiring manager had a huge pile of resumes on his desk."
"Someone asked how he was going to sift through them all."
"He took 2/3rds of the pile, threw them in the trash, and remarked 'I don't hire unlucky people'."
"Lol."- SpecialSpite7115Im Out Breaking News GIF by Homes.comGiphy
All About The Formatting
"This doesn’t matter 100% of the time but bad formatting."
"If it’s hard to read I probably won’t read it."- Far-Gain-3081
Depends On The Job
"If it's a professional position, significant spelling errors will make me pass on a resume."
"If it's a warehouse job or something, I'm less concerned."- staffsargent
Don't Treat It Like A Text Message!
"Former hiring manager here."
"I tossed MULTIPLE resumes that used text message abbreviations throughout the resume and cover letter and one that included emojis."
"While you can do pretty much anything from your phone, it doesn’t mean you should."- spectacularuhohtext texting GIF by Fifth HarmonyGiphy
Choose Your References Wisely
"Not me, but a friend who checks resumes/CVs had a belter."
"Candidate had a conviction and his reference was his friend 'Baz'."- LexiRae24
Make Sure You Have The Relevant Skills
"I know it’s pretty specific but If your looking for a scheduling job make sure you know how to use Excel and clearly state it on your resume."
"It will probably get thrown out otherwise."- LoyalPlanets
As stated before, no two hiring departments will have exactly the same prerequisites and red flags, so no matter how hard you work, your resume is never going to please everyone.
That being said, multiple misspellings and a cheeky e-mail address are a surefire guarantee of not pleasing anyone.
People Explain Which Things Were Once Highly Respected But Are Now Seen As A Complete Joke
In a world that keeps moving forward, many things change. People who seemed heroic fall from grace, inventions that were once useful are forgotten, and basic human rights are either ignored or taken for granted.
One way we've seen this happen is by thinking about all the people and things that were once highly respected that are now basically seen as a joke.
It all started when Redditor WildAnimus asked:
"What is something that was once highly respected but is now a complete joke?"
My Life As A Social Media Star
"Privacy. I know you're allowed to film pretty much everything, everywhere, all the time but do y'all really need to?"
"And when you even mention that it's weird and rude to film people in public, a bunch of a**holes will jump all over you saying that "yOu HaVe No ExPeCtAtIoN oF pRiVaCy In PuBlIc". Like yeah, no one is saying you should go to jail or something, but could we all maybe try to respect one another a little more?"
The High Offices
"Being US President"
"I'll add being a Supreme Court Judge"
"I think this also extends to public office in general."
Cheaters Never Prosper
"If he had admitted to use of steroids after the first accusation, I think people would have been a lot more forgiving. It’s the sh*t he did to his accusers that makes him a sh*t human"
"We sure found out how his arms got so strong."
"Being a journalist. Said as someone who aspired to be one and am so thankful that I didn’t end up one."
"Theres a reason we call it "The Media" and not "The News". The goal is no longer to inform, but to entertain."
"It really is difficult to find a solution to the lack of real journalism. We got here because people would rather be entertained or enraged than informed."
"Journalism. They were once defenders of the common man, seekers of truth and justice. Now they write bull sh*t about whatever is trending on f*cking Twitter and whatever propaganda the corporate overlords want them to push."
Inflation Will Do That
"Making 20 dollars an hour at your job"
"I remember thinking when I was younger “I’d be happy if I made 40k a year.” I make a lot more than that and am only just getting by."
"For my wife to be a stay-at-home mom like both of us want, I would have to make almost $40 an hour"
"Elon Musk. Man had a hell of a reputation for being a real-life Tony Stark. Then he started unraveling it all with the cave diver incident. (Your opinion may differ, the diver incident is when he went from "eh, he's cool I guess" to "he's a total jacka**" for me, at least.)"
"More recently he's completely tossed any shred of reputation he has by being a COVID denier, getting fully in bed with right wingers. being an utter sh*theel with the Ukraine war, and now his utter incompetence is fully on display with the Twitter takeover, taking a company that was previously doing just fine and tanking it in almost record time."
"(And of course, everything coming out about his legacy, like how he was let go from PayPal because he had no idea what the hell he was doing"
"Honestly I never really clicked onto just how much of a super villain he is until GTA online parodied him in their facilities DLC. Looking back, yeah it's a total likeness. A megalomaniac with all the money and a crazy tech start up plot to terrorise the world, and he gets foiled by a few weebs wearing a princess mask and body armour. It's the best metaphor for the 21st century I've ever witnessed actually"
Still Worth It?
"Supposed to end the high cost cable, now its essentially just a channel you subscribe to"
"That was inevitable."
"What wasn't inevitable was cancelling every show before it even has a chance."
"I blame all the studios pulling their shows to instead put them on their own crappy streaming service."
"That's not Netflix's fault though. That is every single studio that exists thinking they can have their own paid service, after fighting tooth and nail against it for two decades. Netflix proved streaming works and now everyone wants Netflix's pie."
"They did well and then HBO max happened and then everyone and their mother pulled their content for their own streaming service. Now you have 10 different subs with one or two shows worth watching and lots of sh*t"
"The Academy Awards! I used to stay up late to watch the end & was so invested in the outcome!! For the past few years I haven't seen a single one of the nominated movies and feel so "meh" about the whole thing."
"I think the Academy Awards and the Grammies are in the same boat. People have woken up to the fact that the awards are rigged and who wants to watch that? It's a shame really."
"The veil has been lifted on most award shows. The more they try to compensate and include people who aren't attached to big studios the more they realize those people could care less about their award shows."
"The awards shows seem to be nothing more than big-name artists showing face to represent their studio. The shows are starting to see the flaw in their business model. You cant give awards to people who don't respect the award and you can't get someone to respect the award unless it's profitable."
"If the award doesn't get more eyes on your art or you aren't working on the next project participating in the show doesn't help you."
Teach Me Tonight
"Working in a school"
"Soon to be former teacher, this one absolutely rings true in my experience. I will have only been in it for 3 years, I have no idea how anyone in their right minds would make a career out it considering the current state of education"
That is completely tragic!
Do you have anything to add to this list? Let us know in the comments below.
People Break Down The Most Unhealthy Professions
Finding a career is not easy.
And many professions are stressful and prone to burnout.
So what do we do?
Apparently, we keep going.
We have to work in order to get money and survive, right?
But some career choices just don't seem to be worth the coin.
The folks on Reddit stepped up to help us avoid certain career paths.
Redditor kk-sahinul wanted to chat about the jobs that make the money not worth it, so they asked:
"What profession do you find unhealthy?"
I worked as a waiter. That's all I say.
Heavy lifting...construction GIFGiphy
"Construction, breathing in all kinds of dust all day, working in weird positions, heavy lifting, loud, dangerous tools and so on."
On the Road Again...
"I imagine trucking comes with a lot of problems."
"My grandfather was a trucker his whole life, he started his own business and raised 3 kids off of trucking. It killed him."
"Sleep deprivation, sitting still for 10+ hours at a time, an endless stream of black coffee and later energy drinks to stay alert, eating nothing but fast food and truck stop fare."
"And even when he was 'home,' the phone rang non-stop, usually brokers asking him to run another load from VA to CA."
"And to top it all off, he would be gone for weeks at a time, missing significant chunks of his children’s lives. And all of this, just to enjoy retirement for 2 years before dying of total kidney failure."
"Welding, did that for 15 years. Breathing in toxic fumes all day sneeze into a kleenex and it would be black."
"My dad was a welder and after retiring got lung cancer and caught it early, but lost part of a lung. Luckily my husband is a lawyer and has a friend that does personal injury lawyer specializing in asbestos so my dad has been getting settlements from over a dozen companies. The companies were required to put $ in a fund for settlements."
"EMT. Those hours are unbelievable."
"Why are 24 hour shifts so common in medicine? There is ample evidence that mental performance declines over even an 8 hour shift, let alone 24hrs. Seems that of all professions this is one where you'd want everyone to be sharp and fresh as much as possible."
"And the lack of sleep, the caffeine intake, the trauma, the assaults, the gas station food."
The Fieldscouple dancing GIFGiphy
"Farmers. My dad was exposed to toxic herbicides/pesticides and his doctors attributed his terminal stomach cancer to his decades of exposure."
"And that doesn’t even get into the insanely dangerous machinery they work with. I’ve read some real horror stories about guys getting caught in equipment and that’s all, folks."
Farmers are necessary. But not fun apparently.
ChronicDoctor Hospital GIF by LCLGiphy
"Healthcare workers, chronic lack of sleep due to understaffing, potentially combative patients, various communicable diseases, sometimes threats from patients/their families."
Shaken & Stirred
"Bartending. There are so many alcoholics on both sides of the bar you become friends with. It can be difficult to keep yourself in check."
"I bartended for 10 years. Stopped almost exactly a year ago and while I loved being in that industry, getting out made me realize that drinking almost every day and doing drugs just to keep being able to handle those crazy weekend shifts wasn’t as fun as I justified it to be in my head. LOL."
"Bouncer/Security. In my younger days I spent time as a bouncer, bar-back, and concert security. Nothing like having a drunken a** take swings at you for trying to do your job. Or getting blind-sided by a beer bottle to the head, etc. 100% not a long term sustainable role."
"Service work. Healthcare & K-12 teaching particularly. Medicine sucks due to inept healthcare & residency. My mother’s a teacher - overworked, underpaid."
"Where I am the schools are filled with lots of environmental hazards that really are unsafe to work around let alone have kids at everyday (mold, asbestos etc) it's unreal."
"People turn a blind eye or say it's not there but I grew up exploring every corner of that big old school... it's there. My mom was a teacher for four decades, got a different rare cancer 2x. The second one killed her. Underpaid is an understatement."
All of Us...
"Pretty much any job you don't like doing, which seems to be most for the majority of people. Forcing yourself to get up everyday to go do a job you hate just so you can break even at the end of the month."
Do what you love. If you can. And perhaps try to avoid some of these whenever possible.
Do you have any jobs to add? Let us know in the comments below.