You can't always pinpoint why someone would get cold feet on the day of their wedding––surely they would have figured out that they didn't want to marry someone before the blessed day, right?––but the reasons for taking such an action are more complicated than they might appear.
Societal expectations can play a big part in why a bride would go with the motions up until the moment she's meant to walk down the aisle, as we discovered when Redditor scipio2000 asked the online community: "Runaway brides of reddit, what's your story? What was the final straw? How last second did you leave?"
Got engaged after 3 months and started planning pretty much straight away was very young and his mother wanted to decorate the entire wedding redneck AF. I had a falling out with her over it as I felt she wasn't letting anyone have a say and we were paying for it. Red flags started popping up his temper, he got a huge neck tattoo with my name, started becoming possessive and verbally abusive. Then dress shopping I broke down and said "No this isn't right" it was like a store of thousands of dresses was telling me there wasn't a single one that was in there for this occasion so it couldn't happen. I sat in my car went home, placed the ring on the counter packed my stuff and left.
"I was 17 at the time..."
I was 17 at the time, and still in high school. Met an alleged Army guy (pre-full swing Internet, so no way to really check), and we hit it off. I was young and fell in "love" with guys really fast, so when he proposed, I was ecstatic.
The red flags were there. He asked my parents for permission. He proposed loudly at a pizza shop (which, socially, would have been too awkward to say no anyway). He didn't have his own place. I never met his family. I never saw any evidence of being in the military.
Cue a few weeks later. We had a fight because he called out his SISTER'S name during sex. He then told me that everything would be fine because he was going to take me to Kentucky to live on an Army base. He also told me he wanted me to be "barefoot and pregnant" most of the time, ha ha ha. We were going to get married and leave the day after I graduated high school.
I did some real soul searching. I became withdrawn and quiet. I was visiting my nana one day and she asked me "are you in love with him or in love with the idea of a wedding?"
And just like that, the bubble burst. I cried and broke it off with him...2 weeks before I graduated.
Apparently, he had already booked the Justice of the Peace. But he got married anyway 3 weeks later...with the same ring he gave me. Poor girl. I wish I knew her so I could warn her.
Not me but my mother.
My mom called off a wedding just weeks before the ceremony date because she found out her fiancé had lied to her about his whereabouts and was partying at a hotel with friends and other women. She caught him in a hot tub at 1am with twin sisters.
Fast forward about 3 years later. She starts dating and later marries the man who is my biological father.
She said meeting the family was especially awkward when she discovered my father had three sisters.. two of which were the twins she caught her ex fiancé with in the hot tub.
"Dated my high school sweetheart..."
I was almost the runaway bride, and I regret not making that decision.
Dated my high school sweetheart for almost two years before the jealousy became overwhelming. I broke up with him a month after we'd graduated, but we were going to the same college and met up again that fall. I found myself pregnant by that October, and was kicked out of my Catholic home. His parents let me stay with them, but we could no longer "live in sin" and had to be married. I didn't want to go back to living in my car so I agreed.
Parents wiggle back into my life before the wedding. Fast forward to day of the ceremony and the music begins playing, I stand to start walking down the aisle, my dad takes my hand and says, "you know, you don't have to do this, you could come home with us." WTF. Could he have mentioned this an hour, a day, a week before??? I have always hated drama, and didn't want to be that person, so I just said that I couldn't, and I got married.
My ex was controlling, manipulative, and how abusive he was had become much less subtle side I became pregnant and turned overt when we moved out of his parents house a year later. I ran when he nearly hit our baby's skull with his shoe, which he threw because he'd found something in the carpet I didn't vacuum properly.
Yeah, totally should have picked the 'runaway bride' option.
"We had been together..."
We had been together for 6 months when he proposed. We were both young at the time and weren't even living together. My gut told me right away that it was too soon, but I said yes anyway and went along with it because I thought he loved me and I loved him. I really thought that we could build a nice life together. I made it clear that I wanted to wait a while before we actually got married but he was keen to speed things along as fast as possible. I didn't even want to tell our families about it yet because I knew they would give us grief over getting engaged so young and after only a few months of being together.
As things moved along, I made it clear that I wasn't ready to get married at my age and wanted to spend more time with him before we went through with it. He sort of threw a fit and accused me of cheating on him because there was no other reason in his mind I could possibly want to wait to marry. Things started to get really toxic and I eventually left him for good.
I gave him the ring back and parted civilly, but he wasn't about to let it go so easily. He was calling and texting me constantly for weeks. Accused me of being obsessed with him and following him around and I started to realize that he was not in a normal state of mind. I was scared, but it calmed down after a while and things started to get back to normal. Unfortunately, he started spreading all kids of nasty rumors about me of how I accused him of rape and was abusive towards him. His entire family turned sour towards me because of it and it was difficult because we shared most of our friends.
He ruined my reputation and my self esteem but it made me realize that I really dodged one hell of a bullet by refusing to marry him. Every so often he messages me on social media asking to get back together. I either don't reply or give him a polite but very firm no.
This doesn't really matter but it's another funny little detail. He have my engagement ring to his mother as a mother's day gift and now she wears it all the time. She has to know that it used to belong to me but still finds it to be a sweet gift from her insane son.
"A few were before the engagement..."
Was ENGAGED, so almost a bride. And there were several 'final straws'. A few were before the engagement: he lived in his car (no judgment on that but this is relevant) at the time, so was not financially stable and this was just a couple weeks into dating. Another was him wanting me to send selfies of myself 'proving' where I was at all times and what I was wearing, which was 99.9% my work clothes (black long sleeve shirts and pants cuz am server) and at work. So if I wasn't texting back fast enough, apparently I was 'with another man'. About a month into the relationship he demanded a key to my condo, so he could see me whenever HE wanted. The 'final straw' was when he proposed, for down on one knee and said "I knew we were meant to be the moment we matched (on Tinder, go figure). I love you so much. Now I can show everyone I OWN you. Will you marry me?" Boy bye. That was 3 months into the relationship, I had never met his family but heard a lot about them, he had only ever met my mother but that wasn't planned. I said no immediately and walked away. He tried getting into my condo countless times and calling me. Unfortunately, I had to change my number and get a restraining order against him. He was and probably still is crazy AF.
"In a crazy small world twist..."
Not me but my cousin was supposed to marry a girl who fell head over heels in love with a guy she met two days before the wedding and left him not literally at the altar but about as close as you can get. I was 5 or 6 and supposed to be a flower girl and my 16 year old brothers were the ushers. We lived about 6 hours away and I remember being so confused the whole ride home as to why I hadn't been a flower girl while everyone else was dead silent.
In a crazy small world twist the guy that she fell in love with is a professor at the same university as my brother and has an office down the hall. He and the bride have been married for I guess going on 20 years now. Meanwhile my cousin has been married 3 times, busted for DUI so many times I don't think he can even get a license and ballooned up to like 300lbs, I think she made the right choice.
"My father left us..."
Not me but my mom. My father left us when I was 1yo, so she was single most of her life until 10 years later she found a great guy that we all loved and wished him in the family, he and my mom dated for years (maybe 6) and then he proposed her, she said yes and I remember them planning their wedding, she even got a nice wedding dress but one day, ONE DAY before the wedding she called him and told him that she couldn't marry him.
He is a great guy, still in contact with him but he is one of those guys that doesn't have a passion nor has a goal in life and to be honest he is in a very bad position right now, so for much love my mom had for him I think she saw a bleak future at his side and decided to remain friends. A little bitch on my mom to say it till the last day but we're humans after all I guess.
I was a dancer. Doing mostly ballet, some trade shows and stuff, had a small role on Broadway, but that didn't last. Anyway, I met this guy and, although he was a bit slow, I fell for him.
We're all set to get married. His dad was the local sheriff, so he got everything set for us. It was the day of the wedding, and I was literally at the altar when I got cold feet. So I took off in my wedding dress. My car broke down, but this guy was kind enough to stop and pick me up. His name was Bo
Now remember, my father in law to be was the sheriff. He didn't take kindly to this, and was on my tail, eventually learning that I was picked up. He started chasing Bo. Now it turns out Bo, and his friend the Snowman were running illegal alcohol across the state lines, so naturally he got a bit worried about being followed by a cop. It crossed several states, with other agencies trying, and failing to stop us. Nearing Bo's home, it got bad. We narrowly escaped capture. But all through the chase, the Sheriff kept on us. But in the end, we delivered the illegal Coors
I fell in love with Bo and it was good for a while. But he took to the bottle too much, and I left him. Not knowing where to turn to, I went back with my fiance.
We worked out problems out, and set to get married again. And again, the sheriff got the town all done up, and it was the wedding day. I was in the church, when I received a phone call. It was Bo's friend, the Snowman. Bo was in a really bad place, and they had a chance to make some big money, and get life back together. However, he needed my help to get Bo. So I left my wedding, again. Got started on a new trio, only this time it wasn't Coors, it was an elephant we had to transport. But a that's a
movie story for another time.
There are just some actions we never grow out of.
When it's time to grow up... grow up.
Let's discuss the signs and scenarios we should know about.
Redditor Grouchy-Trip9582 wanted the grown ups reading to listen up and act their age.They asked:
"What is a childish behaviour adults do that makes you cringe?"
Why do some children behave better than adults? It makes no sense. Let's hear some explaining.
Simple AnswerOh No You Didnt GIF by happydogGiphy
"Getting mad when someone tells them 'No.'"
"At the bakery where I work, we offer free cookies to kids under 12 as long as they have a parent with them. As you can imagine, we run out quickly. I've seen a couple of adults scream and cry after telling them we've run out of cookies, like I've just run over their puppy or something. The kids usually just shrug it off and walk away."
"Yelling at their children on the subway basically having a tantrum as the actual child silently stares or spaces out."
"It’s the most upsetting reaction for me to see when a kid is being yelled at, honestly. Because most of the time you just know it’s such a common happening and they’re so used to it this is the way they cope."
"I know I’m not a perfect parent and I lose my temper here and there but I truly hope I don’t get to this point or where others see me as this type of parent. I think a lot of those parents, though, are also victims who haven’t figured out how to end the cycle of abuse/poor treatment. It is how they were raised so it is all they know and that is also sad. Trauma creating more trauma. :( "
"Getting mad at or demeaning cashiers/fast food workers."
"I wouldn't even call this 'childish' behavior, because kids generally don't even do this. It is only done by overly-entitled adults with superiority complexes and impulse control."
Oh Ma...uh GIFGiphy
"My mother sticks her fingers in her ears and goes 'lalalala' whenever someone is proving her wrong. All the time. Consistently."
Oh, I've lost track of how many times I've met these people. How are these adults?
SorrySorry Lebron James GIF by UninterruptedGiphy
"The inability to apologize/admit when they are wrong... I just think it's so strange. Like... No one expects you to be perfect."
"Blame others instead of taking responsibility for their actions."
"When people refuse to take accountability it is literally the worst. Even something as simple as, 'My God, you’re right. I’m so sorry I’m not sure what I was thinking.' Can really do so much to repair and mend relationships with others."
"This is not childish, this is manipulation."
"I was at Sports Authority for the final clearance sale. They had three weeks left until their doors closed for good so there were only about four employees left on staff and they had all completely run out of f**ks to give. Well this one lady pushes her way to the front of the line saying 'I had to wait so long to get help out there I shouldn’t have to wait in line.'"
"The woman at the register ignores her and continues to check out a different customer. Impatient lady tosses her things on the counter so the employee pushes them to the side and says 'I can help the next person in line' naturally impatient lady loses it completely, yelling at the employee; you know the drill 'speak to your manager, customer is always right, call corporate, I’m a busy woman with places to go' entitled person's greatest hits."
"The manager walks over to defuse the situation impatient lady starts yelling and the guy behind her in line (whom she cut in front of) steps in to explain she tried to jump the line and the cashier was just helping those who had already been waiting."
"The cashier looks at her manager with a ‘what are you gonna do? Fire me?’ Face. The manager looks at impatient lady and says 'you can either wait in line like everybody else or you can leave' she looked for a second like she was going to explode but just stormed out. It was amazing watching retail workers be able to say the things you know they wanted to say to every difficult customer."
"Having a screaming match like kids on playground."
"Some of my neighbours are like this, having huge screaming matches in the parking lot of their building or out on their balcony. It's like they want the world to witness their argument, which makes it feel extremely performative. Like they're not arguing because of a real disagreement, they're arguing for the benefit of their audience. I can't even raise my voice in public, so this mentality is very alien to me."
Go AwayPhaedra Parks Bye Felicia GIFGiphy
"My mom’s piece of crap boyfriend flipping over a table and storming out of a restaurant because they wouldn’t give him a discount for some bulls**t reason he made up. He was always asking to talk to the manager to get discounts and free stuff. Usually he’d get it too because those people aren’t paid enough to deal with angry morons like him. He died a few years ago fortunately."
Did y'all read carefully? Grow up.
On occasion, all of us look in a mirror and wish there was something about our physical characteristics that was different.
Being a few inches taller, having a different hair color, maybe a smaller nose.
But then, as we continue to stare at our reflection, we might suddenly realize there are some things about ourselves which we don't mind at all.
In fact, we might even be proud of our eye color, the shape of our ears, or having an enviable jawline.
For most people, finding their best attribute might not be so difficult to determine, owing to slim pickings.
But for those blessed with good genetics, choosing their best physical trait might be a bit more difficult.
Redditor askredditiscool was curious to hear what people with enviable genetics considered their best physical quality, leading them to ask:
"People who have 'won the genetic lottery' what qualities do you have?"
Come and get me!
"I'm not allergic to mosquito spit."
"So they bite me and I feel the pin prick, but I never get that red swollen itchy-as-hell welt."
"I also apparently taste bad enough to them that they will go for anyone else in the area before me."
"Ticks, on the other hand, will hunt me for f*cking miles."- open_door_policy
Million Dollar Smile
"No wisdom teeth!"
"The trade off is the ticking time bomb that is my cancer genetic..."- Opin88
"My teeth are nearly perfect."
"Whenever I switch dentists, they are a bit stunned at the first appointment."
"My husband hates me for it."- BilobaBabyHappy Dance GIF by benjamin lemoineGiphy
"I can actually lick my elbow."- Soulerous
"At age 72 I've fallen several times in the last few year, low blood pressure, and have never broken a bone in my life."- Duegatti
"O mio babbino Caro..."
"Perfect pitch."- HeliomobAnna Kendrick Movie GIF by Pitch PerfectGiphy
Pure blood indeed!
"Not a single blood related person who had or has cancer for at least 3 generations."
"Meaning parents, grand parents and grand grand parents and all their children and children's children."
"Or any other inheritable disease."- yohoho_99
Sleeping Beauty ain't got nothing on me...
"I inherited the Sleep Button gene from my grandfather."
"When I want to fall asleep, I just... do ...in a matter of minutes."
"I haven't struggled with falling asleep/waking up more than ten times in my entire lifetime."
"I can't nap for sh*t."- VertebrateCrossing
I got time...
"Not sure yet but like I may live a really long time."
"People on my mom's side just have exceptional lifespans."
"My great grandma got in a bad fire at age 45 and had third-degree burns everywhere."
"No one thought she'd recover or live very long."
"Out of pure spite for the husband she has been separated with for 23 years, she lived till she was 96."
"This was in India and she was upper lower-class."
"Meaning the healthcare was sh*tty."
"My great great grandpa lived till he was around 116."
"He maintained his capability and independence till the very end."
"In his last few years, he started to lose his eyesight and hearing but he still cooked his own food, bathed himself, did the house chores, etc."
"My grandpa is at 78 right now and he'll hopefully remain in good health."- a-lovelyy-ladyyOld Lady Dancing GIF by MattielGiphy
Some people are just born lucky.
True, it's what's inside that counts.
Which doesn't mean we don't still wish we had perfect teeth every now and then...
Self-awareness is a strong and admirable quality which far too few people have.
Particularly as those who are truly self-aware are often willing and able to admit when they're wrong, or if there is something about their personality which could, and probably should, be changed.
Truth be told, it doesn't take a great deal of self-awareness to realize and acknowledge your less than admirable traits.
More than likely, these are the things about ourselves that we've likely hoped we might change for a very long time.
Redditor sound-hub was eager to hear people share their least admirable qualities, leading them to ask:
"What's one bad trait about you?"
Give people some closure!
"I never finish the things that I"- BadAndNationwide
I just can't stop
"Having an addictive personality."
"If there's an activity or substance that triggers dopamine release, I'll probably take it to an extreme."- DeathSpiral321
I don't want to get out of bed..
"My laziness will be the death of me."- A_R_K_SKevin James Eating GIF by TV LandGiphy
I can't, I'll never be able to...
"Pessimism and lack of confidence."- Iamnothuman77
"I lack confidence."
"I constantly try to get reassurance or double checks on my decisions before making them."
"It has helped me to avoid making certain mistakes but I feel like if I was more confident in myself, I'd be better off."- HumbleOwl
I don't need the help, so stop asking!
"I’m too prideful."
"I don’t ask for help when I need it and make myself miserable powering through a sh*tty task or situation."
"It’s a problem."
"I’m trying to break myself of it."- like5or6
"I got no patience.. non.. nada."- shine_hunterWaiting Patiently GIF by General HospitalGiphy
Do you think they'll like it? Oh I hope they do...
"I’m too much of a people pleaser."- Positive-Help6449
I'd rather not say...
"I don’t talk."- TheCowOfArdonia
"I use sarcasm too often."- The_StankyBootMaggie Smith Sarcasm GIF by Downton AbbeyGiphy
It's brave to admit the things about yourself that could be improved.
But it's important that this is how you feel, and not how others perceive you.
Only then should you even begin to think about changing any part of yourself.
It's hard not to look back in life on some things we wish we handled them differently.
Some of these are relatively minor, like wishing we chose a different hotel on a vacation, or being a bit more friendly to certain people in middle school.
But sometimes, we look back on decisions we made, and wonder if our lives might be different had we not made certain decisions, or behaved in a certain way.
Redditor lillyrosebennet was curious to hear what the Reddit community regrets most in their lives, leading them to ask:
"What do you regret?"
Who care's what other people think?
"Putting my self worth into the hands of others."- scaryboilednoodles
Oh, what could have been...
"Not realizing this beautiful girl in high school was flirting with me."- South_Ad8256
Take your life and education seriously
"Not going to class nearly enough my freshman year of college."
"I dug myself a HUGE hole because I thought it was a better idea to drink on weeknights, play Starcraft, and hang out bullsh*tting in people's dorm rooms until 4am than actually attend lectures and do work."- DaisyCutter312
"Not taking my life seriously at a younger age."- ogue-Jedi
Learning more about others
"Not talking more to my grandma about her life."
"She's passed not long ago and even though I was there at least once a month in the last year, which is not so little regarding the distance, I just wish I had asked more about how she was like, when she was my age."
"She wrote a memoir and she has lots of diaries, but I think she started writing them later on."
"I was just so scared of making her relive her trauma."
"But I really miss her and I wish we could've had more time to talk."- MyCatIsUpsiideDown
There's a reason it didn't work
Going back to exes that treat me poorly just because it’s comfortable."
"It’s not my job to fix people or save morons from their own stupidity."
"It’s like I always think I can fix it when it’s clear they’re just toxic and incapable of healthy relationships."
"Then I feel even worse when it falls apart the second time."- SupportMoist
It's not so difficult to listen
"Not communicating enough in my relationship."
"My overthinking ruined it some more."- Ok_Moose235
Caring for my body
"Smoking cigarettes."- rowfeh
Missing the chance to make things right.
"The last words I said to my dad when I was 9, was 'I hate you'."
"It was over a stupid little misunderstanding."
"He passed away the next morning, and I will never forgive myself for that."- DismalSplit5792
Finding more lucrative employment.
"Getting a degree in a 'helping field' (therapy/social work) rather than getting one that pays well and helping others from that comfortable position."
"It's very difficult providing assistance and guidance for others when you can't afford to go to the doctor, the dentist, or even your own therapist, let alone ever afford a vacation or anything meaningful."- HiCommaJoel
It's hard not to have those "coulda, woulda, shoulda" moments in life.
But even if some things can't be changed or undone, it's important to remember that improving one's life can't be done looking back.
Instead, we have to learn from our past mistakes, to make wiser decisions moving forward.