Sudden injuries have worse timing than dirty jokes during a funeral eulogy.
So when painful disaster strikes, people usually just keep on keepin' on until someone passes out, there's blood everywhere, or at least one person wakes up in a speeding ambulance.
Though in some cases the injured party stays lucid through the whole ordeal, despite complete stupidity and hubris.
Everyone around them is utterly horrified and grossed out by the wound in question, but at least they're not having their style cramped, eh?
Some Redditors are no strangers to the moment when a small setback becomes a medical nightmare.
u/DudeFromSaudi asked, "What was your "Tis but a scratch!" moment?"
NOT Tobasco
Crashed my motorcycle with my friends following me.
When we got to Denny's and I took off my jacket there was blood everywhere I had split my elbow open.
GiphyWings Up, Kid
Cut my eye open when I was on vacation as a kid. It was an excruciating blunt force hit, but the cut was internal so you couldn't see it.
Mom insisted I go to the ER. Turns out my eye was filling up with blood internally and before long, they were debating whether to air lift me to a larger hospital.
Impressive Extension on that Diving Catch
Dislocated my shoulder playing football but said I could keep playing. I was wrong.
Giphy'Well that Escalated Quickly'
I thought I had a pulled muscle in my calf. It was a Deep Vein Thrombosis (pretty large blood clot) that cut loose and it ended up in a bi-lateral pulmonary embolism.
Eyes on the Prize
Someone threw a rock at my head which caused me to bleed all the way down to my chest before a major test in school and I just walked in and took the test gushing blood.
You Had Me at "Old Wooden"
I ripped open the webbing between my primary and middle fingers with a rusty screw while moving old wooden theatrical flats that had once been screwed together.
I called a friend to come help me wrap it up in gauze and she called the tech director in to call an ambulance. He nearly fainted; I got 11 stitches and a ten minute ambulance ride to the ER next door.
GiphySurfers: Always the Craziest
Dislocated my knee surfing and walked across a crowded beach with the bottom half of my leg beneath my kneecap dangling like a twig in the wind.
Then I hopped across a main road before crawling to my car, then driving with one foot to the hospital.
"Not on the Eggs, Punk!"
Ripped 4 of 5 fingernails on one hand completely out of my fingers.
Bled so bad they sent me home from work, but only after like 30 minutes of continuing to bag peoples groceries with nitrile gloves filled with toilet paper on
Giphy"Sit Down, Have Some Sunflower Seeds. You Earned It."
Kid hit me in the head at full swing with an aluminum baseball bat at practice, knocked me straight on my butt.
Got up and jogged back to outer field to continue practice but after almost falling over like 3 times they took me out.
Listen to Women
Had a very small "cut" on my nose that never seemed to heal. Wife kept saying "you need to go to the dermatologist."
I had skin cancer in my nose, they had to actually cut open my nose to get it out.
Redditor Jeffery_DahmerTV wanted to discuss the ideas that sound too crazy that they have to be true, so they asked:
"What is the most believable conspiracy Theory?"
In this day and age of alternative facts, it all seems like lies and truth.
Enlighten me.
Infection
Sick Computer Virus GIF by Achievement HunterGiphy"That computer viruses are made by antivirus companies to test their antivirus software."
astarisaslave
"Parents bought a new computer recently, the McAfee stuff was in there pretty deep to remove. The staff bogged it down, way faster afterward."
lt12765
War
"We are being goaded into waging culture wars that don't matter to keep us from waging class wars."
virgilreality
"Is this a conspiracy theory though? It would be if you assume it was engineered from the start, but this would also make it very unbelievable. But that existing conflicts had been fueled and taken advantage of by people in the position to for millennia is well evident I'd say."
Leseleff
Double Down
"Mattress Firm is a front for laundering money. There is no other reason for there to be so many. No one is ever even in there."
Free_Bingo
"Double down on this one! I have a Mattress Firm next to my job and I have never seen anyone in there ever. It’s been six years!"
cbcmama781
"I’m not convinced of this. Our local Mattress Firm is clearly baking $1k+ into their margins and then aggressively selling credit-based financing. Selling two or three a month probably covers everything."
Agloe_Dreams
Weather Issues
Climate Change Earth GIFGiphy"Those climate protestors that glue themselves to the road are hired by oil giants to make climate activists look stupid."
milanvlaman
"I feel this way about a lot of 'extremist' groups on both sides, that there are plants from the other side doing really stupid stuff just to discredit the idea."
Herr_Poopypants
The climate is changing. We have to come together. How is that a conspiracy?
That's All
Meryl Streep Pursed Lips GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy"That the fashion industry purposefully doesn’t put pockets in women’s clothing so they have to carry purses."
diceunodixon
Financial Clean Up
"That the only reason that the US government doesn’t do anything with student debt loans is because then people would stop signing up for the army."
Brotastic29
"That and healthcare.
"When you join up you get healthcare fully covered for you and your family, and you can get a full college education.
If the government started providing either of those for civilians, no one would need to join the military anymore."
redF5veStandingBy
"I think so too. I know and agree with what that dude was saying but when I see or hear people use 'Army' as a way to generalize the military, it usually means that what they said is something they’re just repeating what they heard."
chefboiortiz
The Commission
"There's definitely more to JFK's assassination than the Warren commission made it out to be. Whether or not LHO was the sole killer, I find it fishy that the CIA was so desperate to hide information from the public."
Bitter-Record-3831
"There is a very well-done documentary that concludes it was an accidental discharge from a Secret Service agent in one of the cars ahead of him."
Babstana
"CIA probably considered the assassination a declaration of war against Russia. They’re probably covering up that they were about to start WW3 over it."
tangcameo
Dairy Pounds
"The Great cheese conspiracy. Each year the US government buys more and more milk to make more and more cheese. The US government is sitting on something like 2 billion pounds of cheese. Just to artificially inflate milk prices."
worfhill
"Not even a conspiracy, just an example of the government controlling the economy in favor of dairy farmers."
Glass_Pies
"I watched a documentary about this. It's actually true."
PreferredSex_Yes
They're Listening
government agent GIF by South Park Giphy"That the CIA posts questions like this on Reddit to measure their past and current work, brainstorm for future projects."
ZRX1200R
Ominous
"I have a conspiracy theory about conspiracy theories. I believe the governments and 'leaders' of the world are actually rather incompetent, so much so, that they require the illusion of them being an ominous all-powerful all-seeing entity in order to remain in power."
"And to accomplish this they allow conspiracy theories like the Illuminati and etc to spread around to add a bit of urban myth to how 'powerful' they are."
"It's probably all a bunch of garbage Europe can barely communicate within itself you expect there to be some secret global order??? Oh, stop it haha."
SparkNoJoyThrw01
Sifting through what could and could not be true, could take forever.
Life is full of mystery.
