Friends, especially great friends share a lot in life.
We share secrets, memories, joy, sorrow and in some cases... sex.
Is this a good idea or an unmitigated disaster?
The jury is still out.
It works for some and is a disaster for others.
Plus it can muddle the history of the relationship.
So what do people do?
Let's find out...
Redditor thunderchild10 wanted to discuss everyone's thoughts on the friends with benefits scenario, so they asked:
"What's your opinion of friends with benefits?"
I've never done FWB.
I feel robbed.
After a while...
Friends With Benefits Herkenbaar GIF by GoPlayGiphy"Fun, and fine for a while, but less fulfilling than a relationship. Also, you both need to be good at compartmentalization, otherwise one of you will likely end up catching feelings."
Akiram
Be Clear
"My FWB caught feelings even though we were always clearly communicated as FWB. We were both in a big but really close friends group. I got a gf (she had recently had a bf as well) and she got mad. I ended up losing all my friends. It’s been 4 years, and she actually successfully managed to get 20+ ppl to forget I exist."
"Wouldn’t recommend."
sadbudda
The Rule of Three
"I had 3 throughout college. Two ended in us dating and then breaking up. The only one that worked and lasted two years was me and an ex from high school. We never hung out but were cool after our breakup. Didn’t speak for like three years and then when we were in college we saw each other at the bar, hooked up that night, then like two days later she asked if I wanted to meet up and I said sure."
"Then it just continues for two years. We rarely spoke outside of the bedroom other than like ‘pick me up from the bar’. Overall it was cool but I think it’s very rare. You have to find two people who just don’t have any desire for each other other than when horny, which a lot of times is not the case in one side"
InternationalMouse56
Confusion
"I honestly don't understand it at all. Having any sexual relation with a person whom I don't love and who doesn't love me seems pointless and even scary to me. I guess I am over-sensitive or something, because the thought of being so close to somebody without actually having a connection, an exclusivity, without knowing if this will ever happen again, is genuinely horrific to me."
"I don't care what others do in the bed and with whom, but this kind of relationship is just not for me."
ZidanSufuzki
For Life
Corona Snap GIF by INTO ACTIONGiphy"If they can provide Medical, Dental, Unemployment, and Retirement benefits then they’re a friend for life."
Stupify_Me
Benefits are benefits. I'm in.
Forever
married single ladies GIFGiphy"It didn't work out. We couldn't keep it just friends once we started the benefits. We will celebrate our 19th wedding anniversary in 2 weeks."
dirtysecretsofmine
Hey Buddy
"Very messy. You gotta either be f"k buddies only, dating, or friends only. Trying to keep feelings out of FWB is too difficult."
MarthaTheTRex
"That's a great point. I agree that it's tough to keep feelings out of the equation. I think it's best to just be honest and open with your friend so that you both know the boundaries of the situation and can stick to them. That way, both parties can be sure that they're getting what they need out of the relationship."
Professional-Help114
Taking Chances
"Seems iffy to me if you want the friendship to lay long term. Doesn't someone usually catch feelings, so after the FWB finds a partner they want to keep, it leaves the other party out. Especially if the new bf/gf doesn't want you to be friends with someone you've had sex with."
"Yes? No? I'm not into casual sex for myself, so am I off base?"
lifehappenedwhatnow
Developments
"A lot of people are saying 'someone always inevitably develops feelings' and that it ends badly, but that's not been my experience. I'm still friends with a few of my FWB's that I'm no longer sleeping with over the last couple of years and I'm genuinely happy for them that they've found relationships that make them happy. And I know of quite a few others similar to me."
playswithf1re
In Sync...
Sacha Baron Cohen Thumbs Up GIF by Amazon Prime VideoGiphy"A great plan when both participants are on the same page. Whether that is 'stay FWB' or 'hey we caught feelings, let's give a relationship a try'. A mess when only one participant catches feelings."
Gwywnnydd
Don't get hurt...
"Terrible idea, someone always inevitably develops feelings and gets hurt."
"It can work sure, but in general, unless you're both 100% sure (which, how can you ever really be?) beforehand that you won't develop feelings for each other, I generally have seen it not work."
"In my personal experience, someone always had to break it off just as feelings were starting to arise. So yeah, be careful I guess."
PodcastingPodcastGuy
What have we learned?
Communication is key.
Do you have any WTF FWB experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.
Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor RadPs77 asked:
"What's the most bull**** excuse you've heard that turned out to be true?"
If somebody yelled, "fire!" there probably was one.
The Emergency Call
"My dad had to call and say he was going to be late on take your kid to work day, because the guys building a house in the lot next to ours set all the extra supplies on fire at 5am, and he called the fire department because it was a huge fire and the firetrucks were now blocking our driveway. He took a video."
– kingftheeyesores
The Blazing Car
"Couldn't make it to work because someone set his car on fire. Sure enough, it was mentioned in the local paper a day or two later..."
– res30stupid
Accusations of lying are especially hard on those who are grieving.
Proof Was In The Ashes
"Not really sure if this counts but... I worked at a mcdonalds years ago and I called in sick one day because I was having my dog put down, this was my childhood friend I'd had since I was 6. The day after the manager pulls me into the office and gives me a rant about how I need to come up with a better excuse for a sick day. In anger I ended up bringing his ashes into work with me several weeks later with receipts proving dates of attending vets etc."
"Then a good few months after all this, the same manager is moving house and isn't allowed to take her two dogs with her (no pets allowed at the new address) so she let's her friend adopt them who lives on the next street to where she's going to be living then proceeds to take 10 days off 'to say goodbye.' "
"It's been more than a decade but I'm still salty af about this."
– SolaWrex
"Unexcused Absence"
"Had this but when my brother died, took 2 weeks off because of obvious reasons."
"I was on probation at the time and they didn’t believe me, they wanted a death certificate - but where I live those can take some time."
"At the end of my probation I had an exit interview - my dad was able to sit in with me, so he did. He brought my brothers ashes and put them on the table while they tried to say it was an unexcused absence."
– tictactowbar
There are the odd circumstances.
Nature Strikes
"I couldn't go into work for a few days because a tree totalled both vehicles. My boss was pissed because I had requested the day off but was denied. I had to send pictures as proof."
– hotcookin53
The Gamer
"I injured myself badly enough I couldn't go to work for a few days, the night before World of Warcraft was released. Since I'd been talking about it so much, my boss assumed I was lieing to stay home and play it on opening day. Not only was I not lieing, but it meant I was unable to get to the store to pick up my pre-order."
– shontsu
A Birth Anomaly
"One of my guys didn't come into work he said that his unborn triplets had absorbed each other and he had to console his wife that she was gonna have twins not triplets."
– ShItllhappen
Repeat Offender
"I had the same teacher for trig and 2 years later Calc ii. Both times my house got hit by a car right before an exam. The second time she said 'you've already made this excuse" and asked for a police report. I happily obliged and gave her both. Literally could not believe it.'"
– Electronic_Soil5934
Animals are unpredictable.
That is all.
Kitty Bite
"Kid in high school was absent one day because he'd been 'bitten by a cougar.' Yeah, right."
"Turns out, he'd been bitten by a cougar. He thought he wanted a pet cougar, found some place he could buy one, and went over a weekend to pick one out. He was playing with a cute baby cougar, cuddling and wrestling on the ground, just having a great time. Then that cute little baby turned on him, bit down hard on his foot, and sent him to the hospital with numerous deep punctures that needed chunks of Nike shoe pulled out of them. He was on crutches for weeks."
– twothirtysevenam
Kid's Track Record Didn't Help
"Had a kid come into my class one day that was late and he had been a pain in the butt the whole year so I was like 'alright, what is it this time, house burnt down. No no, you went to the forest and got lost, not you used that last time.' He just stood there with a straight face and said, a bear slashed our tires so I had to walk. I looked at him with an as if that happened face and low and behold after school his mum comes up apologising that he was late again and told me that a bear had slashed their car’s tires. She showed me the ring video and everything. I was speechless."
"Edit for those of you complaining that I was mean, this kid was consistently late and rude throughout the whole year and was constantly giving me bs excuses that turned out not to be true. That’s why I was mad and didn’t believe him."
– cryptic_cookies
The next time you hear someone giving a wild excuse, you might want to take it with a grain of salt.
You never know if the person has actually gone through a terrible ordeal.
The truth always comes out eventually, whether it works in the person's favor or not.
"What is a Red Flag that you are in a bad restaurant?"
When They Just Can't Be Bothered...
"The restaurant isn't even busy but they take ages to serve you, and when they finally do they seem reluctant."- peculiar-pirate
coffee pouring GIF by South Park GiphyQuality Over Quantity
"Long menu."
"Pages and pages of food that doesn’t really make sense or go together."- blackaubreyplaza
"Sushi, pizza, AND burritos are ALL on the menu."- financialfreeabroad
Lets Eat Reaction GIF by Schitt's CreekLack Of Authenticity
"Ethnic restaurant with no customers of that ethnicity in a town with a large population of that ethnicity."- baronvonbee
Don't Be Fooled By It's Appearance
"I've eaten at ratholes with amazing food and had terrible food at nice steakhouses, both can have people cooking for minimum wage and bad management."
"If it's a small ethnic restaurant and you see kids doing homework at one of the tables; try the food, it's always good."-Dizzy-Particular-258
It's All About The Food
"It’s sometimes difficult to tell until you try the food."
"There’s a restaurant in my town that is consistently crowded."
"Fairly expensive."
"My wife and I went there and waited a few minutes for a table."
"Restaurant was dirty, food tasted stale, and my wife happened to walk by the kitchen and see like 6 microwaves on a table heating stuff up."- jonahvsthewhale
kitchen nightmares amy GIF by Global EntertainmentGiphyOne Unwanted Guest
"The very moment Gordon Ramsay appears and calls the employees f*cking donkeys."- Ch*ist_Hater666
When The Ambiance Is Anything But Romantic
"Bad lighting or sticky tables."- trashbagbum
"Dirty floor, if they can’t keep the floor clean, they aren’t cleaning the important stuff."- lovelynutz
dirty spongebob squarepants GIF"Oh, Sorry We're Out..."
"Whatever is on the menu 60% is not available."- XqueezeMePlease
Whether Or Not It's The Food You're Smelling...
"Smells bad."- Louis-grabbing-pills
Roaches Check In...
"In university I went out with some friends and they decided to go to mid-priced restaurant before we caught a film."
"I was really broke so I feigned not being hungry to excuse the fact that I couldn't order anything."
"As we were hanging out I noticed a cockroach crawl onto the table and quickly scurry out of sight."
"That is one of the few times I was happy to be poor."- gildorratner
"If you smell freshly popped popcorn, but they don't serve popcorn, they have a cockroach infestation."
"The smell is the result of a potent insecticide and dead roaches."- Goatmanthealien
place cockroaches GIFGiphyMany restaurants are not worth their expensive prices.
While others aren't even worth a single second of your time.
Thankfully, those can be fairly easy to spot.
