Bodies are beautiful. Everyone's body is a treasure. There is no reason to feel shame. Sure most of us have pounds to lose and other's have the illusion of perfection but every body has value. We are connected to our bodies for life so we might as well find peace with what we've got. Take a chapter from those who work with naked bodies on the regular. It's just another day at the office for them.
Redditor u/merzickel wanted to know how everyone makes it work when you're surrounded by all nudes by asking.... Doctors, massage therapists, and other people who see naked bodies at work: what are most people insecure about when it comes to their bodies that's actually super common and normal?
The Grapefruit.
The only naked person I actually remember was this dude who called due to a hernia. He told us what was going on and we were like okay we trust you get on the stretcher. He said "hell naw y'all need to see this" and stood up and dropped his pants. His scrotum was the size of a grapefruit and his penis slapped his knees.
We told him to put his pants back on so we could get him to the hospital and get him some damn pain meds. Other than that all naked people look the same to me and I really really don't give a crap what you look like cause that's not my concern. Doing that ekg or finding injuries or things like that is my main concern. jesus-christ-of-ems
Pierced.
Giphy
Body Piercer here. On average, I pierce a lot of nipples. 90% of women are most uncomfortable showing their stomachs in the case of extra pounds or stretch marks. I explain that I'm not there to see the sights or to judge (I'm a fatty) but to ensure they have a good experience. TheRevSev
Shave Away...
Wife is massage therapist; some women seem to care about if they've shaved their legs or not, which is funny since I massage men's legs that are covered in way more and thicker hair than they will have. That and people are always confused on if they have to remove their underwear or not.
As a therapist it doesn't matter to me, we learn how to work around it and still help you, we just want to make sure that you the client is as comfortable as you can be. Oh, and snoring. People will apologize for snoring a lot but we don't care, honestly. SuicidlMcRib
Don't Apologize.
Women often apologize for having pubic hair which I find kinda sad. Ivehitanewlow
I was in the ER the other day and had to get an ECG. I was so upset because I hadn't shaved in forever. I was covering my armpits as the nurse was putting the "stickers" on. And then she moved to the legs and I couldn't cover them.
She could see I was feeling embarrassed and she looked at me and goes "it's an ER hun, no one comes prepared!"
Made me feel a little better. In retrospect, it was emergency, why did I care?! How bad did society mess me up that when I get injured and need help, I'm worried about my hair?! Real_Space_Captain
the public....
Anything related to the pubic region.
For women, breast exams are common in a primary care setting, and most female patients are pretty chill with it, especially a male physician. Big_Balmer_Brand
Flab.
Giphy
Flab right under your armpits on your sides. I'm a bra fitter, and women constantly complain about and apologize for their back fat and fat on their sides right under their armpits. It's really not a big deal. Everyone has it, even that teeny tiny girl that looks like a stick. EleanorRigby96
Noises Off.
Massage therapist here - during abdominal massage, noises happen. Totally normal. We're getting things moving. No need to apologize for being human! courtdork13
I try to warn mine so she doesn't get it in the face. Maggiemayday
The Back Way.
X-Ray tech here, men with hairy backs. I'm looking to make sure your chest is against the plate. Don't care how hairy it is, although one guy did look like he had a fur coat on. psu777
Or woman apologizing for not getting a pedicure while their foot/ankle has been in a cam walker or cast the past 6 weeks. I don't care. I'm there to help you, not judge you. Xray_Abby
Y'all are good.....
Massage therapist here. Most women who are on my table are embarrassed about their leg stubble. Let me reassure you that we don't care if you haven't shaved your legs this week. Forget it, I haven't shaved mine in 12 months. Y'all are good. annacondah
Wash your feet....
Giphy
I'm a Podiatrist (foot doctor) and people are always apologizing about their leg hair and their feet in general. Like I've had patients not want to take off their socks and shoes but still want me to help diagnose their foot problems. 90% of the time they're just plain old normal looking feet. That being said, if you haven't washed your feet in the past year...
Maybe do that before you see your Podiatrist. We are happy to help you cut hard thick nails but its the 5 month old toe jam that's the smelliest. Please wash that out before seeing me, no need for a fancy pedicure just soap and water and a good "floss between the toes" with a dry wash cloth is all I'm asking. Unless you're disabled and then of course I understand. doUBleaveNmagic
Don't Look....
Giphy
Men are embarrassed of penis size (all sizes) and make it awkward by making weird comments. Women apologize for all body hair. If it's truly an issue, we clip it, if not, it's just hair. LunaLovegood567
Laugh Denied.
Decided to make a joke while getting my physical to lighten the mood, so I asked the doctor if she'd had any prior experience in microbiology while giving me a hernia check. Unfortunately we didn't share the same sense of humor, as she didn't find it as entertaining as I did. RelativelyUselessLad
Shavings....
As a massage therapist I get women that apologize for not shaving their legs that day. I honestly don't care, I didn't shave my legs for the occasion either. _MKUltraViolet
Yep, former massage therapist.
Just come in clean. You're just a slab of meat on my table.
(Unless you have a really crazy tattoo. I'll notice that, lol). helena_handbasketyyc
Pooping......
Pooping. Also farting. Like, hon, I'm here helping you (I'm a CNA) because you literally haven't pooped in like three days. The nurse and I just helped you work out the biggest shit I've ever seen--honestly I'm proud of you, and don't care that you farted for a solid minute afterwards. I'm just glad you feel better.
It's all natural bodily functions man! They made it into a children's book for a reason. And as a person with GI issues, I hate that it's so stigmatized. Even I feel the need to hold in my supremely painful BMs or gas until there's no one around, even though it makes me miserable. muse539
Most. Not All.
Giphy
The size of their flaccid penis. First Of all, we don't care. Second, most penises are unimpressive when soft and cold. ArachnaMinax
Stay Calm.
Scars/acne, imperfect teeth, wrinkles everywhere. I didn't see it posted so I just wanted to say I see it all the time. Also, I'm absolutely no case is any staff member ever checking you out in the ER. Seriously, even the most single, lonely person is not judging whether you're attractive or not. We see thousands of people a day. Honestly we forget. Whatever thing you're embarrassed of, we've seen it before. But we do gossip if you're a fool about you throwing a hissy fit. betta_fische
Tummies....
Their stomach. I need to take measurements and people straight up refuse and ramble incoherently as to why their stomach isn't perfectly flat and toned. It's sad it's such a a big deal to some people, I certainly don't judge or care, I just want to do my job. yepdonewiththisshi
Smile!
I'm a dental hygienist and people are very self conscious about their teeth and breath. Honestly we can't really smell your breath at all, we wear masks, if anything we can only smell our own. And teeth are teeth, don't let them keep you from smiling. Mearyballs406
Booby Trap....
Giphy
Bra fitter here. Women apologize all the time that their boobs are different sizes, when it's actually pretty rare to have a matched set. They also are ashamed of nearly every single aspect of breast shape, placement, firmness, and texture that you can imagine.
I've been doing this job for nearly a decade, and boobs are genuinely vastly different from person to person. I've probably only ever seen a half dozen pairs that look like boobs in the media, and women really think there must be something freakish about their boobs. hep632
Truth is....
Bodies come in all sizes and shapes. I'm a CNA, and I promise you, the second your clothes are back on, we've forgotten when your junk looks like. The only time we remember what you look like is when there's something unusual about it (and I don't mean size). Yeah, I remember what the guy with cancer of the penis looked like naked (he died). Why? Because his penis was a deformed trainwreck.
The weird thing is, mastectomies are so common in older women that I don't remember what individual women with mastectomies look like. I remember which ladies have one (or zero) boobs, but it's so common I cannot recall what they look like.
Nobody cares if you shave your crotch or your legs or your pits or your face.
Also, really, really fat guys "lose" their penises. Their body fat envelopes their penises and it looks like they have a second belly button. Damn_Dog_Inappropes
Oasis in the desert? No thank you.
"Dubai."
"Why and whats special about it?"
"Its a modern city in a desert."- Maximum_Calendar_791.
"Dubai."
"A fake city with fake people, no human rights, where the world's tallest buildings hide corruption and slavery in their shadows."
"It's like someone decided to take every problem of mankind and concentrate it in one spot."- PayNoNoticeOfMe.
"Dubai one i think it is ugly two I would die in two minutes of me being there I can't stand anything above 40 c°."- BookWormPerson.
One of the seven wonders is one too many for me.
"The pyramids. "
"Too many horror stories of Egypt."- Aemiom.
Landlocked.
"Not really a destination, but taking a cruise."- Shortbus_Playboy.
cruise ship vacation GIF by Hallmark ChannelGiphyMountains aren't really my thing.
"Everest."
"Just why."
"You use a bunch of money to get in there them come down."
"And trash your whole way there. It's literally a corner in the Earth insufferable for humans and we still made a way to go there to trash it."- ACLullaby.
It's in my own backyard... but still not interested.
"I have lived about 15km away from the Burj Khalifa ever since it was made."
"I could not care any less besides the occasional pointing out the 'shiny tall building' to my nieces.- legolosss.
The pictures are enough for me.
"Mount Rushmore."
"Friends who've made the journey to Mount Rushmore mostly say it was no big deal and not worth the effort or expense to travel there."- Back2Bach.
States Selfie GIF by Ethan BarnowskyGiphyHustle and Bustle? No thanks.
"Anything busy.'
"Whether it's cities, structures, I don't care."
"I'd rather go to a boring empty quiet place than a place full of people."- TheSmeep.
They're watching us.
"That creepy a** place in Japan with all the realistic dolls."
"No thank you."
dolly dearest horror GIF by absurdnoiseGiphySome dream of paying a visit to these places.
Others hope they never have to set foot there, and will choose to leave it to the other millions of tourists.
To each, their own.
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And while a candidate is fit to lead remains to be seen, we rely on our instinct to choose someone with whom we can relate.
But sometimes, our options are limited and we inevitably go with someone who is the lesser of two evils.
Curious to hear from strangers online about a hypothetical, Redditor Cashmeresquid2309 asked:
"Americans of Reddit, would you vote for an openly Atheist presidential candidate? Why or why not?"
Redditors were quick to point out the answer was a no-brainer.
We Already Know The Answer
"Asking Reddit if they'd vote for an atheist..."
"I feel like the answer would be obvious."
– sarahmagoo
Sci-Fi Analogy
"Americans of Reddit, would you vote for a Star Wars fan who heckin loves doggos?"
– WitnessChemical
For The Atheists In The Crowd
"Atheists of atheistville, would you vote for an open atheist?"
– nixcamic
Others weighed in with a range of opinions.
About 45
"What's funny is how many of them would probably say no, even though they voted for Trump and would do so again. Say whatever else you want about him, but I seriously can't understand how anyone could genuinely believe Trump is a Christian. He's so obviously faking it and is undoubtedly the most atheistic president we've ever had or are likely to have for a long time."
"This is a guy who's never even so much as read the Bible or attended church, who told a conservative radio host his favorite Bible verse was 'an eye for an eye', who told evangelical interviewers that he's never asked God for forgiveness because he's never done anything wrong, and who routinely commits all 7 deadly sins (pride, greed, wrath, envy, lust, gluttony and sloth) without remorse."
– empfindsamkeit
From A Different Perspective
"Not an american but interestingly according to this survey on 1006 people from 2007, being atheist was the worst thing you could be as a candidate (of the things asked) with only 45 % of people saying they'd vote for one."
– ilovecatfish
An atheist candidate isn't necessarily a big strike.
Double Negative
"I wouldn’t not vote for someone just because they were atheist."
– HabitualEnthusiast
Credibility First
"This is it. If they’re running on platforms I support with a history to back up those campaign promises, I don’t care if they belong to the church of the flying spaghetti monster. They could literally be a member of the satanic temple and I, an actual practicing Christian, would give less shi*s than a constipated sloth."
"Edit: yes, I realize the Satanic Temple does not actually worship satan. I used it for that purpose. The Church of Satan has some…problematic views and I probably would not vote for someone who literally holds a platform of eugenics."
– Phoenix_of_Asclepius
Some view the role of religion in politics as important.
It Depends
"Religion can be relevant: I would have strong reservations about voting for a Scientologist, even if I agreed with the policies they proposed. I would have strong reservations voting for a member of an apocalyptic cult or, possibly worse, a follower of the (highly heretical) 'prosperity gospel,' which unfortunately includes more and more so-called 'evangelicals' — I didn't vote for George W. Bush, but it's not because he was an evangelical."
"It depends on the role: I'd probably be more flexible with a legislator than an executive (mayor, governor, president), as their character is IMO more important than for a legislator and their policy stances somewhat less important relative to a legislator."
"Satanic temple — well, that's just an organized group of atheists and humanists with an intentionally inflammatory choice of name. They're generally fine people."
– alyssasaccount
A Bad Rap
"The Satanic Temple is an excellent organization that every decent person should be able to respect. A Church of Satan member, not so much."
"There's a huge difference between them!"
– StarsEatArtBooks
And Redditor boganvegan said it best.
"Better an open atheist than a fake Christian."
It all boils down to trustworthiness. Without full transparency, how could anyone put their faith in a candidate who spews nothing but lies?
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I'm always freaked out when I'm home alone. Lights on. Yeah, my electric bill is high.
Dorothy?
Wind Conan Obrien GIF by Team CocoGiphy"I dreamed the front door blew open at the exact time the house alarm went off... I hopped up and sure enough, the front door was open. No intruder."
fatowl
I See You
"Not home alone but only one in right side of the house. Went to my mom's bathroom to wash my hands and saw a pair of feet behind the half open door. Laughed and said 'very funny Ma, I see you.' then finished up and left. Bumped into my mother in the kitchen unpacking, nobody else was in the house. I'm glad whatever was behind the door didn't peek out."
SatanWithFur
“It’s Doug!”
"One night I had forgotten to lock my apartment door and woke up in the middle of the night. My bedroom door was about 2 feet from my front door, as you walked into the apartment. First a big dog ran by, then a person. Holy crap I was so scared and I screeched 'Who is it?!?!!'"
"A man said 'It’s Doug!' As I was thinking to myself, who the f**k is Doug, he said 'oh, crap.' He turned around to go back out the front door saying 'Sorry.' I asked 'Didn’t you have a dog with you?' He said 'Oh, yeah. Hey, c’mon!.' He left, his dog ran out after him and I locked my front door."
"Edit: glad you all thought this was funny, because I did too, once my heart quit trying to beat right out of my chest! The next day the girls at work thought I was crazy for not being upset, but eh, done is done. Peace!"
scarletohairy
Confused...
"My sister and I were home alone and we heard someone big running up the stairs. The stairs make lots of noise with slight pressure so when there’s someone big on them you can tell. I went out of my room to check but saw no one anywhere and my sister also came out of her room and she asked if that was me I said no and we both looked around to see if there was anyone but found no one in the whole house. We were confused and called our parents and just waited until they got back and that was that."
JtSudbury04
I See You
Staring I See You GIF by QuikTripGiphy"I very clearly saw a guy walk into my room. But when I went after him there was nobody there. I checked in the closet, under my bed, everywhere one could hide in my room."
HighlyOffensive10
This is why home video surveillance is key.
"NO"
Season 5 No GIF by The OfficeGiphy"My parents were on a road trip, just left, and I sat down at my desk. I thought 'Weekend alone by myself' and a voice yelled into my right ear 'NO' so loud it hurt."
Th4ab
Wild
"I managed to lock myself out of my house on my birthday during a tornado while trying to bring my cats to the basement for safety. I later found out that the tornado was approximately a couple miles or less from me at that exact time. The sky was green and it got weirdly calm and then I could hear what sounded like a train coming before I found an unlocked window to climb through. Wild times."
SilverGnarwhal
Saturday morning in the 80s...
"I wasn't home alone but I was awake by myself one Saturday morning in the 80s when I was around 7 or so. I believe my mom was the only one home because my dad went to the lake to go fishing that weekend, and I'm not sure where my older brothers were, maybe they went with him, idk."
"Anyways, my mom's sleeping in, and I'm in the living room by myself, watching Saturday morning cartoons and making a fort out of sheets and cushions. Something made me turn around and I saw my dad in his pajamas standing in the hallway entrance with his hands on his hips, looking the mess I was making and shaking his head."
"He then turned around and walked into my room, which was just off the hallway entrance. Dude. I didn't even look, I just booked it to my parents room and woke my mom up. I don't remember what happened after that, this was around 35 years ago. And yes, my dad was fine, nothing had happened to him."
smriversong
Get the Bat...
"I was at home by myself on a call with some friends when all of a sudden my dog begins to bark like crazy, which was odd since it was the middle of the night and he's usually sleep. I go downstairs to check on him and find him barking at our hall closet, terrified I grabbed my bat that I keep in my room just in case and open the door. There was nothing out of usual at first at then I look down and notice a familiar looking object at the bottom of the closet."
"It was my mom's necklace she had lost when I was 9, (i'm 15 now just to put in perspective how long it's been). I showed it to my mom at breakfast and she was just as shocked as I was. I still have no clue how it got there or how my dog knew it was in there, definitely one of the oddest occurrences of my life."
SomeRandomIdiot14
Meow
Happy Cat GIF by ChubbiverseGiphy"Many years ago, I was 14 or so, my first night alone in the house when my parents were out. Lying on the living room floor reading, my cat sleeping next to me."
"Suddenly, cat wakes up, stares intently into the dark corner of the room behind me, hair on end, growls and then bolts out of the room and upstairs. I look behind me and see nothing, but follow cat upstairs and hide under the covers. Freaked me out."
LairdofWingHaven
Thank God for alarms. I hate being home alone.
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The body freaks me out. But it's all I've got. So teach me some things.
Minutes...
death GIFGiphy"The fastest killing virus takes around 4 days to kill you. That would be Ebola. Your immune system can kill you in 15 minutes."
will477
'locked-in'
"If your brainstem (the part of the brain that mediates most motor control for all of the body) is damaged, you can get 'locked-in' syndrome. That means you're fully conscious and aware of your surroundings but unable to move or speak. The only muscles that remain unaffected in most people are the muscles that move they eyes and the eyelids."
"You're essentially trapped within your own body with your only way of communication being blinking or moving your eyes It can be caused by toxins, blockage of the basilar artery which is the main artery of the brainstem, or other brainstem damage."
4oodler
Explosions
"Some people suffer from Exploding Head Syndrome, which causes them to hear a loud bang when they wake up."
ToraMix19
"When I was younger I believe I experienced this a few times. Sounds I heard were: about a million people talking and laughing all at once, a train that irl would've been about a foot away from me based on the volume of the sound, and a door slamming loudly."
aliaisacreature
Pain
"Not sure if this is by design, but I totaled my car once, almost completely uninjured somehow. Then I looked down to my right hand which I remember jabbing into my dashboard at 55mph. Luckily (unluckily?) only my pinky took the blow. But instead of a floppy-udder full of bone-sand, my pinky was 0.5 inches long."
"Broke no bones, but instead perfectly stacked my phalanges, or finger bones, INTO my hand. This is fixed by a muscular Russian murse grabbing your pinky with both hands and pulling very hard. God I wish they gave me more lidocaine."
TelevisionOlympics
Functions
animation art GIFGiphy"If you have a surgery where they need to move your organs around they might not function for a day as the body assumes that they are dead."
tonythebutcher13
Move things around? You mean that's not fake when it happens on "Grey's Anatomy?"
Basketball Wives Ugh GIF by VH1"The only reason you are not aware of it is because the ambient noise kind of drowns it out because your ears focus on it. If you go to one of those super-silent rooms that absorb all sorts of sounds, it is a really weird way to reacquaint yourself with your body."
Black_Handkerchief
The Mouth
"Idk about the most disturbing but how bad human teeth are. We’d think it’s our sugary and processed diets these days that cause it, but even Otzi the iceman discovered in Italy was found to have terrible teeth, mouth diseases and cavities. It’s odd that even with the most basic of diets our teeth are so bad."
Dorianisconfused
In the bowels...
"I noticed this after my abdominal surgery. When I turned over in bed my guts seemed to fall from one side to the other. Mentioned to my doc and she confirmed it was my bowels rearranging themselves."
squatter_
"Apparently the doctor just throws your intestines back in there higgeldy-piggeldy because there isn't a correct way to pack them neatly."
LostDesigner9
A Quick Burst
"There are a vast number of ways that your body can malfunction and kill you with little or no warning. An aneurysm can go undetected until it bursts and kills you. Getting hit in the chest just the right way can stop your heart. You can encounter an allergen that never previously provoked an immune response that freaks out your body so badly that you die. You literally just never know if your body will just... die."
Unsolicited_Spiders
The body is such a conundrum. Sexy and gross all at once.
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