It's moments like these when you remember why you got into teaching in the first place. Free comedy show!
1/29. Girl got so drunk that she locked herself in the bathroom.
We found her and obviously had to call her parents to come take her home. We kept telling her, "Listen, it's your dean and you have to unlock the door."
She kept responding in the horrible drunk teenager voice, "No YOU listen....I'm YOUR dean." It was very difficult for us to not break down in laughter.
2/29. Can I tell you what I did instead of kicking a kid out? I was covering another teacher's class in a computer lab and we have a program called Net Support that basically allows you to spy on all the kids' computers. It also serves some legit instructional purposes like allowing you to take control of a kid's computer so you can demonstrate things. Only this teacher never used it so I don't think the kids knew it existed. I don't normally use it because I don't like the Big Brother vibe it gives off BUT there was a kid being a total obnoxious jerk. He was looking up stupid and distracting videos and laughing loudly about them and making obnoxious comments to show off in front of his friends. I could have blocked YouTube but instead I took control of his computer.
I started typing in "kitten videos" into YouTube. "My Little Ponies" anything I could think of that wouldn't be cool to him or his friends. Then every time he started to freak out and insist he wasn't doing it to his friends, I gave him control back. And then took it away again. Then finally I made a little pop up come up on his screen that said, "I'm watching you." I expected him to figure out what was going on but I think he got freaked out instead. It never seemed to occur to him that it was me. So I gave him control back and he did his work quietly for the rest of the class.
3/29. There was a student with Autism who lived in a very literal world, we'll call him, T. You had to be precise with your words as T could not comprehend slang or figurative language. He had an issue with another student at recess the day prior. It was something minor about a basketball. Basically, T had a basketball and placed it under the goal and walked away, another student grabbed it, T became angry and ultimately gave the ball to the other student rather begrudgingly. Apparently, T told his uncle and the uncle's response was, "I'd have made that kid eat a shit sandwich!" Well, T made a quick stop by the litter box before coming to school. He also wrote a note to the other kid saying, "I get the ball today, you can have this shit sandwich." It wasn't a gesture he viewed as inappropriate, he actually thought the shit sandwich was a viable option for the other student. I had to send him to the office, but my god did I laugh. Even his mom laughed before aplogizing. The principal still has the note in the office 2 years later.
4/29. Kid dropped a folder full of xeroxed copies of his hairy ass. Turns out he had been taping them to people's lockers all over school.
5/29. Kid in boarding tried to cook a whole raw chicken with like 5 minutes in the microwave. A whole chicken.
6/29. I used to work in a super strict school for kids who got kicked out of their regular schools. We had an assembly twice a day, morning and afternoon, that was extremely serious. Kids had to sit up straight with their hands in their laps, girls on one side and boys on the other. Totally silent. That kind of thing. Occasionally when we were having behavior problems with entire groups we'd make them sit in assembly for the remainder of that period or however long until they could get it together.
There was a class (middle schoolers, naturally) who could NOT. STOP. FARTING. They'd intentionally fart as loud as they could just to be gross and disruptive, and it even evolved into them getting up out of their seats and farting on each other. This is hilarious to me now, but it got REALLY old (and really smelly). Anyway, one day, it was happening so much throughout each class that we took them to assembly. I'm standing in the front with the other teachers, and our principal was talking to them. Except he was PISSED. So he's pacing back and forth, reaming these kids out, punching his fist into his hand, spit flying out of his mouth. His face is bright red. He's saying all this stuff about respect, and then he adds in "oh, and if you have to FART...." and he yelled the word "fart" with such venom and disdain that I just LOST it right there in front of everyone. I could not stop laughing. I tried to play it off like a coughing fit or something but I couldn't. I had to leave the room.
7/29. "Mrs. B, I have a question. I think it might be a dumb question."
"Sweetie, there's no such thing as a dumb question."
"My brothers told me this though. So there might be."
"....fair. What is it?"
"Okay, so you know Michael Jackson right? He was like kinda old, so I think you'd know about him."
"Yeah, hon, he was even a thing when my mom was a kid."
"Wow. But yeah. So you've seen Thriller right, when they play it around Halloween?"
"Yeah, I love that video."
"Okay, well my brothers told me that Michael Jackson was really a werewolf and a zombie, and I just wanted to ask: was he really a werewolf? Or a zombie?"
"I knew it. I knew Michael Jackson wasn't a zombie. He still dead, and they're full of sh-t."
Several students head and gasped, otherwise I never even think I would have sent him to the office. I was about to die laughing. And he wasn't wrong either! I knew his brothers, and they were both consistently "full of sh-t."
Note: I feel the need to explain. He was sent to the office for cursing in front of other students. I did not make school policy regarding cursing.
8/29. Not a teacher, but... We had an older lady as a Science substitute in 8th grade. It was a hot June day and the windows were open, we were on the second floor. My friend told the sub when she walked in the classroom that "Jimmy" had fallen out the window. When the sub looked out the window she saw "Jimmy" laying on the ground, contorted and she passed out. We never got a chance to explain to her that is was joke. He had just laid down on the sidewalk under the window. The two boys got suspended and that sub never came back.
9/29. My dad worked as a teacher and on the first day, he wrote his name on the board as new teachers do, and when he turned back toward the class, a kid had lit his desk on fire with hair spray and was just laughing. 3 foot high flame no more than a foot away from him.
10/29. I'm a male fifth grade teacher. One of my boys yelled out right before the 3:15 bell rang, "Everybody be quiet! I have an erection!" I was like, "Did he just say that?" Luckily no one noticed me turn and bust out laughing. The bell rang to go home and I call him over, not sure if I should send him to the office or not. I decided to ask him if he knew what an erection was. Very innocently, he said "No." Then I thought, "Oh great!" So I said, "Do you know what a boner is?" Of course, he says, "No." I could tell by his face that he wasn't lying. So I said, "Well it's when your private parts get hard." Right when I said that he got this very scared look on his face and said, "I promise, I didn't know that!" Like I said, I could tell he wasn't lying. I had a very hard time keeping a straight face. He said his friend had yelled that out once so he thought he would. I told him he can't say those kind of things and he has to be careful with what he says. He walked away very embarrassed. I laughed and laughed when he left the room.
11/29. I'm a student, but this definitely should have gotten me sent to the office. went to a small Catholic high school in the Seattle area. We had monthly mass in our gym, and every year around Easter we did the "stations of the cross." Mass was always brutal, but the stations lasted two and a half hours or so. Unreal. A little background, I couldn't burp until I was in my early 20's. I have no clue why, but any built up gas had only one exit. Growing up, I farted to the point that people thought I had a medical condition. People even called me "fart boy."
Anyway, it was my senior year and we were headed to the dreaded stations of the cross mass. My friends and I had farted in class a number of times, but never during mass...we always talked about doing it, but never mustered the courage. I had decided about a week before that this would be the day. The mass was set up where the choir would sing before each station (I think there were 11 or something), and then the priest would ramble on about its significance. Each time the choir stopped, there would be about 10 seconds of complete silence. We're on the 5th station, and the choir is finishing "Were you there, when jesus something something...BRAAAAAAP" I unleashed a behemoth right as everything went silent.
I was sitting on gym bleachers, which amplified the blast perfectly. I remember the guy if front of me was holding a yellow plastic screwdriver...he dropped it. In shock or from the blast wave, we'll never know. My buddy and I proceeded to muffle our laughter for at least an hour until mass ended. I've never tried to not laugh for that long before or since...each time one of us would start to settle down, the other would release a cackle that started the whole process over again. We didn't even get in trouble! I'm not sure if the teachers thought it was an accident or never wanted to speak of it again. I am laughing right now...one of my favorite memories.
12/29. I wasn't the teacher, I was the one working in the office. I am a teacher, but I was covering that day.
I had another teacher bring in this young boy. Probably grade 1. She tells me "He is to sit here and not say or do anything." And I was just like "okay". But as she walked out the door, she said "Oh, be sure he keeps his clothes on". And I was just like "okay.... wait what?".
Sure enough, when I look away, I hear a tiny voice say "Pee pee! Pee pee!". And I see the boy with pants around his ankles and his shirt covering his face waving shaking his hips around.
I'm a high school teacher now.
13/29. I had a kid show up to band with a massive dildo instead of his clarinet, and he honestly thought I wouldn't notice.
14/29. Not entirely "principal's office," because they were kindergartners... But two boys turned off the lights in the bathroom, had their pants around their ankles, chasing each other around in the dark and peeing on each other. That was a weird one to explain to the parents...
15/29. I was teaching cinematography and we were talking about different shots, like close-up and long shots, etc. I asked the students to call all the different shots out, and one student screamed, "CUMSHOT!"
16/29. I was doing an "about Miss MadiDontLeave" slideshow at the beginning of the school year and it had a slide with me at a Cardinals game. I explained how I'm a huge Cardinals fan and go to games every chance I get. Kid raises his hand and asks "do you like getting really drunk at Cardinals games?" I mean obviously I do. But God damn it kid. You're in 8th grade. Don't ask me that.
I had a student, as we were playing team Jeopardy, discretely write a sign to flash to other teams that were up that said "you ninny poos are going down because you friggin suck at science. Love, team 7" it took me a while to catch him. It was one of those "fuck that's hysterical but you can't say that to people in school" situations.
Same kid asked if I like to smoke weed. Not as funny. But still funny that he thought it was appropriate to ask.
The joys of being a 23 year old teacher are endless. They think of you as a peer sometimes, and ask the most inappropriate questions.
Edit: remembered one more that I cried laughing about. I was working with groups. Same kid who asked if I smoke weed was upset because I wasn't getting to his table fast enough. He started shouting my first name. I shoot him a look and say "I don't respond to kids calling me by my first name." Kid says "oh I'm sorry. Miss (insert first name). I call him in the hallway and ask him why he did it. He says "I thought it would be funny." I point out that no one but him was laughing (even though I was on the inside) and he responded by saying "yeah no one was laughing because you sucked the funny right out of it". It was so funny. I'm going to miss this kid. Never a dull moment.
17/29. I didn't send him to the office but one of my fav moments was one time I was working with a small group while other students worked on independent stuff around the room. One student was working pretty close to me and obviously made a mistake because he exclaims "shit!" So I said "excuse me, Ty? What was that?" and he says "oh, I didn't say what you think I said Ms. Someday42." And I said "oh good. What DID you say?" And he says "I said shiiiiiii.......(obviously thinking hard)..... t." And then just stared at me horrified. I was trying so hard not to laugh but I just told him "That's what I thought you said, please don't use that language in my classroom."
18/29. I had a sixth grader (let me set the scene- this kid is the human incarnation of Ralph Wiggum) who wanted to get out of class so desperately that first he raised his hand and said his ears were ringing and he needed to go to the nurse. Sorry kid, not falling for it. 20 seconds later he raised his hand and said his tongue was burning and needed to go to the nurse. Not falling for it, Ralph. 10 seconds later he had blurry vision. (He was squishing his eyes with his hands). No dice, kid. And then, in the grand finale he stands with a flourish and yells so loud that teachers all down the hall stuck their heads out into the hallway- " MY PENIS IS BLEEDING!!!!!" We all stood mouths agape until the one smartass in the class adds, "...and you want the nurse to look at it???"
19/29. Not a teacher but the last time I was sent to the principals office was over a live chicken in high school. The high school I went to used the 8 block schedule system. My last period teacher was afraid to the point of hilarity of birds. We had chickens at home and since they were 4-H chickens they were quite docile. I put one in a duffle bag one morning and then put it in the top shelf of my locker. They will just sleep if its dark so once last period came I just put it in the bag (she was used to all of us bringing bags in since it was last period and when she got up to put the attendance slip on the door i just took it out of the bag and put it in the middle of the room..hilarity ensued and I spent the next day playing pokemon in suspension in the cafeteria.
20/29. First year of highschool, got sent to the principal's office by my near retirement teacher for breaking dress code with my t-shirt that had drug references/paraphernalia on it. Funny part is when the principal had to explain to my teacher that 'Billabong' is a legitimate clothing company name and nothing more.
21/29. As a student, I once witnessed a classmate get written up for using "Telekinesis" on another student.
22/29. Not a teacher, but my mother is.
Kid in her class asked if she had any kids. At the time I was my mothers only child. She mentioned me, and the kid goes "what school does he go to?", and of course my mom answers without hesitation. Kid goes "good, i'mma blow it up". Expelled
23/29. I use to work in a tough high school in south-central LA. One of the most challenging boys in school was in my integrated math class and one day he's been using profanity so I've gone through the whole discipline stages and have a referral written for him on my desk, but I'm giving him chances because... its south-central. Well eventually he cusses again. I go. "RonSean, again, we cannot be using that language in class." Under his breath he goes "Fuck that shit mother fucker." I whip around. "What did you just say!?!" The whole class turns and looks at him and it catches him off guard and then in Dave Chappell's Rick James voice he screams "i said... FUCK THAT SHIT MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!" Whole class is laughing, I'm in tears, he gets up grabs the referral and walks to the office.
24/29. I made the mistake of leaving a ninth grader in my classroom when he missed the bus home. I had to go to meeting and it was pouring rain, so I let him stay. I told him not to use the computers.
The meeting was in the computer lab. We were learning how to see all of the students' computers on our own screens. The tech guy had us all pull up our first period classes on our monitors to test it out. No students should have been logged on to a computer at the time. All the screens should have been blank. I saw that a very conservative Jehovah's Witness teacher in the row ahead of me had one screen lit up on her multi-screen view. I watched as she clicked on the screen to see it larger. She gasped. She made a small whining sound. It was anime style tentacle porn. It was the screen of the student I had left alone in my classroom. The teacher quickly turned around, calling my name very loudly, and asked if (insert student name here) was in my classroom. I told her he was.
I got up and went to the phone at the back of the room. I called my classroom number. The student answered. I said, "You're doing something you shouldn't be doing right now, aren't you?"
He said, "Uhhhh... yes."
I said, " I suggest you turn it off right now." I heard footsteps running across the floor and a slam. He returned to the phone.
"I'm so sorry... I....I... I'm sorry.. I just...I...."
"We'll talk about this later." I said. I hung up. What an unlucky kid. He chose to watch tentacle porn on the wrong day at the wrong time.
25/29. One of the brightest, honest female students I've ever had to THE most annoying kid I've ever had: "Would you shut the fuck up?!"
Took everything in me not to laugh or say "I know, right?"
26/29. Not the principal's office... but...We had a friend (let's call him Steve) get written up for "In School Suspension."
Steve! Why'd you get written up? ::says nothing, hands me the slip::
-Reason for 2nd write up... "Ate first detention slip."
He vomited a lot later...
27/29. I had this obnoxious, smarmy, show-offy 5th grader. One day he was up to his usual smartassery, and a girl silently got up, opened the classroom pencil sharpener, and dumped the shavings all over the kid. I had to send her to the office, but it was a truly satisfying moment for the whole class.
28/29. This happened today. By the end of class I had enough of two of my tenth graders being disruptive so I asked them to go outside the last fifteen minutes of class so I could actually wrap up the lesson without interruption. I was gonna leave it at that, until one of them grabbed his skateboard and hopped on and road it across the carpeted classroom and out the open door. He got suspended.
29/29. I teach various high school subjects. My bathroom policy is simple: go when you need to. For most students, it's no problem at all.
I had a student who constantly went to the bathroom for twenty minutes at a time to avoid doing work. He had no medical issues that would have caused this, but the 3DS in his pocket explained a lot. Naturally, I put a stop to this and gave him three bathroom passes that he needed to cash in if he wanted go.
So he asks to go to the bathroom five minutes after lunch, (Ugh I hate that so much. Pee on you own time!) and I let him go. He comes back twenty five minutes later, and only after I sent my student service to the bathroom to tell him to shit or get off the pot (in politer words). He's only in class for about ten minutes before shocker! Guess who has to pee? I said no.
Kid goes back to his seat and chugs a water bottle, the whole thing. He leans over to his friend, they giggle a bit, and his friend passes him another water bottle which he empties straight down his gullet. While drinking, this little shit had successfully avoided doing his classwork, so I walk over to get him on task. This is when it gets good.
The kid makes direct eye contact with me and pisses his pants. Alpha, yes, only he is the omega and got to sit in the vice principal's office in his pee pants. The awesome custodial staff (who should never ever have to deal with this) moved the desk outside and laid some paper towels on it. Mr. Pee Pants spent an hour after school apologizing to the custodial staff and sanitizing his mess.
There's no shortage of excellent horror fiction out there. Recently I read The Terror by Dan Simmons and can't remember the last time I felt that claustrophobic and nervous. But I am also a fan of quite a few classics. Are there any other horror books that capture grief as effectively as Stephen King's Pet Sematary? What other book evokes folk horror as beautifully as Thomas Tryon's Harvest Home? Let's not forget this wonderful classic: The Haunting of Hill House. I could rave about that one (and Shirley Jackson) for days. All of these books left their mark on me and yes, I'd include them on a list (if I were to make one) of some of the scariest books I've read.
People had their own opinions to share––and books to recommend––after Redditor Tylerisdumber asked the online community,
"What's the scariest book you've ever read?"
"Gerald's Game. I've read lots of Stephen King and this one scared me the most. Slept with the lights on for several nights."
Everything about this book is creepy. Don't even get me started on the... degloving. I'm sorry I even typed that word out.
"It's not a long story..."
"The Yellow Wallpaper.
It's not a long story and I'd highly recommend going in knowing little to nothing about it. It's brilliant and terrifying. Published in 1892 as well if that's any interest!"
Few stories make you feel this sad. A pretty stunning piece of work––and yes, unnerving. Can really get under your skin.
"I think it was mainly..."
"For some reason, Salem's Lot by Stephen King.
I think it was mainly because I was on a week-long hiking trip in the Australian bush and it got dark and scary at night. But damn, I had trouble sleeping for a couple of nights. Then the friend I was hiking with read it, and he couldn't sleep either."
This is probably my favorite early King––and for good reason. The sense of atmosphere is impeccable. Those characters are loveable and you genuinely care about what happens to them. Then the book veers from horror into tragedy. It's quite moving.
"Just the knowledge..."
"On The Beach.
It's the most soul-crushing book I've ever read, and there's really nothing scary in it.
Just the knowledge of impending death for everyone that feels so awfully heavy."
This is one of those books that makes you feel hopeless.
It's impeccably written but wow... it's a truly heavy read.
"You never knew..."
It's a classic. I found it to be immensely chilling. You never knew what would happen and the writing instilled a sort of dread. I read it in the dark before I went to bed until I finished it."
A book I can read and re-read over and over again. It's a beautiful horror novel. It's also a really fascinating window into the era and manages to say a lot about social and class mores.
"I'm Thinking of Ending Things by Iain Reid. Very creepy and unnerving, definitely scared me reading it at night."
I wanted to really like this one––unfortunately, I did not––but there's no denying that the first third or so (especially once the two protagonists get to the house) is pretty unnerving. Shame the payoff wasn't all that.
"It was disturbing and horrifying..."
"Helter Skelter. It's about the Manson murders and goes into quite a bit of detail. It was disturbing and horrifying because, unlike the King novels also mentioned, it's true. What they did to Sharon Tate is so absolutely devastating. Pure evil."
This book is gruesome and not for the faint of heart. The level of detail we dive into learning about the Tate-LaBianca murders is remarkable and also rather nauseating.
"So the book's characters..."
"Bird Box by Josh Malerman.
Forget the Netflix movie. The book's monsters are terrifying, in that you simply just don't know what they are or what they look like. They could be anything. What they are is enough to drive people insane by just being looked at.
So, the book's characters have to navigate a world mostly without one of our most used senses, and what's more terrifying than something you can't see?
This leads to some utterly scary scenes in the book that sent my heart racing and I had to put down for a breather."
It's a shame that movie wasn't all that and a bag of potato chips.
"It's a different kind of scary..."
"It's a different kind of scary, but The Handmaid's Tale. Atwood's dystopian nation feels not that far from reality sometimes, and it absolutely terrifies me."
We're going to go there.
Yes, this book is terrifying.
"I feel like the movie..."
"The Ruins, by Scott Smith, messed me up pretty good. My favorite kind of horror is psychological, and while there is a physical "entity" the real horror is the helplessness of this stranded group trapped by something they don't understand. Their desperate struggle to hold on to their sanity and the slow descent into hopeless desperation just really hit hard.
I feel like the movie was a fairly faithful adaptation, although it's been a while since I've seen it."
I love this book and have read it multiple times over the years. It's slow-going... and then the final one-hundred pages are just horrifying.
Well, if you haven't read any of these... What are you waiting for? Get on that. You won't regret it.
But also... the world is pretty scary right now, so we understand if you need to take a step back.
Have some suggestions of your own? Feel free to tell us in the comments below!
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Have you ever traveled to a city you've always heard good things about, only to be totally let down upon arrival?
When a friend insists we travel to certain cities because we would "just love it," they're setting the bar pretty high.
And a city can also boast a rich history or an attraction that makes us curious enough to find out what makes it so appealing.
But, alas, when we finally reach the destination, it's never exactly what we thought it would be.
Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor tshirtguy2000 asked:
"What city is overrated?"
These are not officially real cities but they do have a rotating population.
It's Always A Party There
"As a former
slave associate at party city. I 100% agree."
"Lego City. There always has to be someone falling into the river."
"Cabot Cove, the murder capital of the world."
"Sure, the murders are all solved, but would you really want to live in a city with that much, easily solved, crime?"
Neighbor To Springfield
Shelbyville. Those f'kers steal trees from neighboring cities.
These were once considered destination cities but their popularity eventually took a nose dive.
"Atlantic City. Venture a few blocks off the boardwalk and it's incredibly depressing. Very clearly an area exploited by the big casinos while the locals have been driven to absolute poverty, while they still force a smile to work the shops that are required for the tourist traffic."
Lots Of Water
"Niagara Falls, Canada. I grew up there. Mayor pumps most of tax $ to casinos and tourism with flashy vegas-esque attractions."
"Myrtle Beach. I'm not even saying that it has a good reputation, I'm just saying that any shred of positive thinking about it makes it overrated."
Where A Creek Is An Exciting Attraction
"Lamb's Grove, Iowa. It's not the paradise on earth that people always say it is. Don't get me wrong, it's got great Chinese food but the motel 6 is meh at best."
Impressions for these cities fell far below expectation.
"Dubai. It's the clickbait of the world. 'We have the biggest/tallest/most expensive YOU WON'T BELIEVE when you see THIS...' It's hot as f*k, everything's a man-made tourist trap; labor exploitation and racism are rampant, and they try so hard to prove to the world how modern and Westernized they are. Really, it's just government propaganda."
"Miami. Horrible place filled with horrible people."
Truth be told, many cities can be overrated.
It just depends on a person's experience, or a resident's perspective about what it is about the location they live in that is nothing worth writing home about.
If I had to choose, I would say Las Vegas is overrated, but that's because there is nothing in Sin City that is of personal interest to me.
I may be severely judged for my opinion, but that is a gamble I'm willing to take.
The opposite sex can be a bit of a mystery sometimes. Our brains work differently just like our bodies and this can lead to certain sensitive questions. Guys tend to be a little less open but today it's time for the ladies to ask away. Even wondered what they really think or feel about their body, yours? Today's the day to get the answers you didn't know you needed.
Redditor William84000 asked:
“Women of reddit, what question do you have of men that you'd really like an answer to?"
His question started an informative thread for women to ask men the questions they've been wondering and receive honest, real-life answers.
“How long does it take to recover if you've been hit in the balls?” Snowy-avocado
“Anywhere from 5 minutes to literally turning to dust like we were Thanos snapped.” secondhand_organsdust whirls GIFGiphy
“The Big Dumb Object...”
“I've always wanted to know: why do you like loud machinery so much? For older men it's mowers, leaf blowers and such. For younger men, it's modified cars and motorbikes. What's the deal with the loud machines?” marshmellow_bunnyx
“Power and tools. Tools are a thing that gets stuff done, and they are loud because they contain the
natural essence power of violent explosions and fire. Most men like powerful things, instead of powerful people.”
“In sci-fi, this is called 'The Big Dumb Object', and is pretty much a trademark of sci fi books written by men” Connect-Zebra7173
To shave or not to shave?
“Does body hair on a woman bother you that much?" reillydean28
“Leg/arm hair? Don't even notice. Armpit hair? Not my thing but not my choice/decision. Pubic hair? I'd prefer not, but it's not going to stop me from getting the job done." wHUT_fun
It’s a power and control thing...
“Why send a d*ck pic?" stavinlawrence
“I think for most men it's a power dynamic thing. Either it gets them off or it just makes them feel in control."
“Then I assume there's the added bonus of if she likes it she might send a nude back. But these losers have a greater chance of buying a "get bigger penis pills" that actually work before a girl appreciates an unsolicited nude." InertialEclipse
"Do you notice the little things?”
“Do you notice the little things about women like a new hair cut, when they wear makeup or a nice outfit?” xforeverlove22
“I can't speak for everyone but for me, nope. Not at all. My uncle had a moustache for like 20 years and one day decided to shave it off. I didn't notice it. I noticed there was a weird atmosphere around me like ‘come on, say something’, so I small talked with him.”
“A few hours later after he left they asked me if I seriously didn't notice that his moustache was gone. My answer was ‘What moustache?‘ And makeup would definitly fly over my head.” PleaseTakeThisName
Lets just not touch people without permission...
“What things have women done that make you uncomfortable?" charloget
“Had a few grab my junk at random. Even had a couple that just forced a kiss on me. I don't usually experience women trying to pick me up, but the few times I did was never great. It was either negging, overly sexually aggressive and always in a group." bahamabanana
On today's episode of sink of float...
“Do penis' float like a buoy? I heard they do but have never been able to verify it.” TheFantasticV
“I mean it's buoyant but it can't really do much besides lazily sorta half float there. Still amused the f**k out of my wife to learn.” secondhand_organsGiphy
Everyone just wants to be loved...
“What makes you feel loved?” linedizzy
“A compliment, a hug or a kiss we don't have to initiate.” Nuitari8
“Do guys care if women get cosmetic procedures done?” dookieconductor
“I don't necessarily care about the work itself, I'd be more concerned about understanding why she felt like she wanted to get it done and help her feel body positive for whatever work has been done or if she feels like she needs work.” -notjosh-
Math will kill a mood everytime...
“What does it feel like when you're having sex and you're trying not to 'get there'? Is it frustrating? What do you do/think about to keep it from happening?" uhohoreolas
“I sometimes do math like 333*3... But often I am fine with just controlling things to focus mostly on her pleasure instead of mine. Tho sometimes she is excited and ends up moving in unaccounted ways while I am a hair away and there is no stopping it. I definitely don't find it frustrating. It is still very enjoyable." Fkire
Some of these Q&A's were unexpected but now we know! This important thing here though is knowing it's ok to ask questions sometimes.
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Everyone's got their own favorite food.
What are two foods that actually taste great together......even though most people don't eat them that way?
Breakfast is the most wonderful meal of the day. As the wise Leslie Knope once said, "Why would anybody ever eat anything besides breakfast food?" So mixing it up can feel blasphemous, but what if it's tasty?
Jam It On
"When I was growing up, it was standard procedure for us to put grape jelly on scrambled eggs. I did it when I went to college and everyone at the table stared at me. I still like it."
"That sounds gross af, but not too gross that I don't still want to try it. Haha"
Bringing People Together
"Peanut butter and maple syrup."
"My husband and I both grew up eating PB and syrup on our waffles. We took that as a sign it was meant to be."
"Peanut butter and syrup on waffles is one of the single best things I have ever had, also growing up with it"
Mustard?! Don't Let's Be Silly.
"Mustard with scrambled eggs. Actually I haven't had it in a while but from what I remember its really good"
"Mustard with eggs period"
Sauces and dips are critical to enjoying some foods. Mess with it too much and you risk ruining the delicacy. So that's why it's reassuring to see these people offering up their new spins on dip combinations.
Only For The Elegant Dining Experience
"Hummus and salsa mixed together with tortilla chips."
"Fancy bean dip."
Peanut Butter With Everything!
"Peanut butter and cheddar cheese (like the proper brick kind, not kraft cheese slices). When I was a kid I sometimes made myself pb and cheese sandwiches. They're very filling but delicious!"
"Toasted English muffin, butter, peanut butter, raspberry jam and marble cheddar on top. Lord have mercy on me."
"Add a litte hot sauce on the peanut butter."
Better Than Garlic Sauce?
"I already posted but I'm eating pizza with my friend right now and he likes his pizza with hummus."
"Hummus is good with so many things."
"So I make spaghetti noodles, but break up the raw noodles into smaller pieces. Once they're done I put in a an egg or two (mix it around) and let it cook. I swear it's not that bad. My Nonna always makes it for me when I go back to the Midwest to visit. It's good with parmesan cheese too."
And then there's these taste combinations. Mixtures so strange, you might just be willing to walk away from your phone or computer and try one now.
Sweet And Savory?
"Watermelon and feta cheese."
"With red onion and balsamic vinegar."
"Thats like the most basic summer thing in Greece, Balkans, Turkey together with some Uzo or Raki"
Who Lives In A Cheddar Under The Sea?
"Pineapple and cheddar."
"A guy at work introduced me to dipping a peanut butter and honey sandwich into chili. That was surprisingly great."
A Creative Spin On An Old Favorite
"Root beer float except with cherry Coke and chocolate ice cream. I was in middle school on a field trip, last in line at the cream shop, and ordered this after everyone else had done the standard root beer and vanilla. One of the cool girls who had never spoken my name before gave me this piercing look and asked if I would switch with her. I instinctively knew I would get zero benefit from this deal, so I said "Nope, ya gotta just remember it next time." That felt good."
Keep an open mind. Don't do this for every meal, sure, but always be ready to try something new.
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