We all think we'll be badasses when the zombie apocalypse hits, but there are all sorts of scenarios none of us would necessarily be prepared for.
Today's burning question is KindaQute, who asked the online community: What are some things that people dont realise would happen if there was actually a zombie outbreak?
"That in places..."
That in places that get a real goddamn winter the zombies (or infected) would be rendered immobile or dead by the cold freezing the water in their bodies, or that they would be torn apart by wildlife almost immediately in rural areas.
"A lot of people..."
A lot of people would die from zombie bites, but even more would die from diseases only treatable with antibiotics, insulin, and chemotherapy.
When the world collapses, everything collapses. You might dodge a zombie bite, but then die from a scratch on your leg from where you brushed against a rusty nail to make that dodge happen.
"I would imagine..."
I would imagine that the diseases that would arise from so much rotting flesh wandering around would be worse than the zombies.
"That zombies..."
That zombies are basically the worst possible life form. The one species that is most willing and able to kill them is also their only food source and their only means of reproduction.
"Without my glasses..."
Giphy
Imaging breaking your glasses while fighting off zombies. Without my glasses, I wouldn't be able to tell the difference between a zombie and a survivor unless they're within arms reach. Forget about sneaking around, I need my fellow survivors to identify themselves so I don't attack them!
"The question is..."
The question is: will the zombies run like in Zombieland or just walk slowly like in the Walking dead, if they run people that don't exercise are f*cked.
"The government..."
The government wouldn't collapse as quick as most people imagine.
Most movies depict the entire nation's structure crumbling in a matter of weeks, sometimes days. This is pretty illogical considering how large most nation's military's are and how many options and opportunities the government would have to contain the virus in the first place. Martial law is a powerful device.
"Most people..."
Most people assume they'll be one of the survivors holed up in a Walmart or Costco being badass with a crossbow when really, they'll be bitten and infected while on the toilet or pumping gas or some mundane sh*t.
"Everybody tends..."
Everybody tends to forget about Dental Hygiene during an apocalypse.
It's something we take for granted today, and something we won't have during an apocalypse.
ThePickleIndustry
"Gasoline has a shorter shelf life..."
Gasoline has a shorter shelf life than most people assume, so after a year nobody would really be driving anywhere.
"People don't realize..."
People don't realize how quickly it would burn itself out.
What gives humans any competitive edge evolutionary speaking is the very thing zombies lack: the brain.
Humans without brains are a c tier animal (at best), that will have some luck in an initial outbreak of feeding and fighting, but will be bested by deer and foxes. This says nothing about the continued decomposition that will, inevitably, render locomotive abilities useless (humanities second biggest strength).
Zombies are humanity minus anything that gives them an advantage at anything. Why are we afraid of them again?
"The world..."
Giphy
The world's governments are most likely to launch nuclear strikes on zombie hotspots, killing equal amounts of healthy people.
"If it is a virus..."
If it is a virus, insects would be a lot more dangerous than the actual zombies.
"A lot of people..."
A lot of people with minor health issues would be more disadvantaged than people realize.
Take a peanut allergy, for example. In a zombie apocalypse where food is scarce, how can you ensure that what you're eating hasn't come in contact with peanuts? People with gluten allergies would have it even worse. So many zombie apocalypse staples would be inedible to them.
People with relevant survival skills would be rare.
Since most people have jobs that wouldn't help them at all in a zombie apocalypse (office workers, waitresses, etc) then mechanics, carpenters and farmers would be extremely valuable. Even if they just did it as a hobby. They would be fought over, maybe even enslaved.
"They would have to..."
They would have to wear hazard suits at all times to prevent mosquitos from spreading the disease, also they would have to heavily purify the water they use incase a bit of zombie blood spilled in it.
But if there's one thing cinephiles roll their eyes at while watching a movie, it's the predictable plot twist or a typical scenario often depicted in films that lack imagination.
Curious to hear examples, Redditor cnukles1 asked:
"What's a movie trope you are sick and tired of?"
Hollywood tends to glorify and dramatize violence almost comically.
Brief Inconvenience
"When someone is stabbed/shot, limps around in pain for 30 seconds, then continues on as if nothing happened."
– FioreFalinesti
Instant Death
"On the flipside, it drives me nuts when bad guys get shot in the torso and drop dead immediately. They'd realistically have at least a few seconds if not minutes of consciousness."
– itguy1991
Smooth Recovery
"People being knocked out for hours and no brain damage."
– TankApprehensive3571
That doesn't happen in real life.
Atypical Casting
"The broke 'Single Mom' who looks like she could model for Victoria's Secret. On the flip side, male gangsters, drug dealers or prisoners who look like they could win a state bodybuilding championship."
– Johhnymaddog316
Unnecessary Extravagance
"Or same broke single mom with an awesome house and perfect clothes/hair. Can't they ever just dress like normal people and living in normal homes?"
– Expensive_Structure2
Disarming Explosives
"Bombs with helpful color-coded wires."
– SuvenPan
Inconvenient Birth
"There's a pregnant woman and she goes into labor right at the worst possible time. For drama of course."
– RogueKatt
When actions depicted on the screen are not plausible.
The Struggle Is Real
"Just once I'd like to see somebody struggle to find parking in Los Angeles."
– stupidlyugly
The Structure Of Romance
"You're a jerk and I have no interest in you despite the fact that you are incredibly handsome, charming, and funny. We have to work together to save the world but make no mistake about it, I can't stand you. Let's just get this over with so I never have to see you again."
"Whoops, we f'ked. I guess we're in love now."
– DickySchmidt33
Love Connections
"Every disaster movie, the love interest always works at a hospital."
– Terrible-Ad-4879
Let's Communicate Better
"When a simple conversation could have entirely solved the central conflict of the movie."
– Katarassein
If everything happened on screen the way it does in real life, would it diminish your moviegoing experience?
Some people just like watching characters make believable choices. But if that's the case, you may as well go outside and film your own movie.
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And while couples don't have to agree on everything, dating someone new can be exciting as the people explore their new romantic prospects together.
However, there are some things that Redditors are quick to dismiss about a potential romantic partner.
Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor RAMORAMORA asked:
"What is the pettiest reason you can't date someone?"
It started out with promise until things took a turn.
The Critic
"I literally re-thought about my relationship with my ex when we went to the zoo (I paid for everything, tickets, parking, food, gift shop, etc which all wasn’t cheap) and he had the nerve to say our trip to the zoo was 'boring.'"
– lionprincesslioness
The Artistic One
"Wasn't my pettiness, but a girl I went on a few dates with wouldn't date me because she wanted to be the 'artistic' one in the relationship and she was worried that me being a musician would spoil that for her."
"Edit: wasn’t real deep into it, it was just a couple of dates. I don’t feel negatively toward her. She was a nice enough person lol. Also, music isn’t my career, more of a passionate hobby. I work in IT by day."
– theronaldchase
The Obsessed Fan
"Ended things with a guy over various other reasons, but the most annoying was how many times he told me that 'He'd leave me for Miranda Lambert in a heart beat.' Which okay, I get it some people have a 'list' of celebrities they'd leave their S/O over, mostly as a joke. But this was like everyday, just randomly said not related to the conversations we were having at the time, and he meant it. He made sure I understood that if for some god forsaken reason Miranda Lambert walked in through the front door, I was gone."
– Kiasurp17
The Pete Owner
"Only went on one date but he named his cat Creamy, and the way he said it grossed me out."
– GoBanana42
A Matter Of Taste
"She didn't like museums."
– AyUnit
The things people do are, well, not for most people.
Come Again?
"Inability to form a coherent sentence in text."
– leg00b
Mind The Volume
"She talks to people like they're a hundred meter away from her"
– friededs3
What A Mess
"She wouldn't clear the excess time off the microwave display."
– spenghali
Life On A Sitcom
"She insisted on hanging out at home. She lived with like 6 people, and they always had friends over. I felt like a bf extra on Friends or Seinfeld."
– NewEnglandRoastBeef
These Redditors couldn't get past being on a first-name basis.
Too Southern
"My grandparents were very southern. When I was a kid, I spent the night at their house and heard them…wrestling. I heard my grandpa say my grandma’s name, Sarah, but with his accent he said 'Ooh Say-ruh!'”
"I met a girl named Sarah who was also southern. When she introduced herself as 'Say-ruh' I had to nope out. It just gave me the heebie jeebies."
– Sp3nc3r420
Nope To The Name
"Rewind to college, me and my friends are out at a bar. My buddy Dave and I are seniors and his sister is a sophomore, and just turned 21 so she's out with us. We are having a good time and look over and his sister is chatting with this guy at the bar. Fast forward an hour or two and they are still talking, except she's basically on his lap and they're making eyes at each other. 1:30, last call, we are getting ready to go and checking to see if she is going home with this guy or coming with us. She's not there. We look around and she's sitting with her girlfriends at a table. We collect her and as we're walking out I ask what happened to the dude."
"Turned out his name was Dave. I can't go home with a guy with the same name as my brother."
"Bro got turned down because of his first name. Savage."
– YoureInGoodHands
Hi Grandpa
"She had the same first name and last name as my grandpa."
– Fit_Sheepherder_3894
We'll admit while some of these reasons may be petty, they're pretty understandable.
Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.
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