Folks listen... yes those are your pants and the police totally know it. Stop it. Nobody believes you.
Reddit user RoundTriagonalSquare asked:
and I gotta be honest here people, I'm kind of disappointed in us collectively speaking. The sheer number of people out here in the universe wearing other people's pants is just staggering. At least that's what some of us would have police officers believe.
I'm not advocating lying to law enforcement ... all I'm saying is that if you're going to do it, at least make sure it's a new one, ya know? Not like these people.
The Pants Dance
"These aren't my pants"
Blew me away the first time I heard it. Laughed my butt of for the next few times after that. Then it became routine, maybe once every couple of weeks someone would try it.
Typically when they were being arrested, we'd have to search them for inventory and find: pipes, baggies, knives, etc. Which - according to the suspect- just happened to be in the pants when they put them on, and didn't notice they were in the pocket until we found them.
Dehydration
As we were treating the patient, the officer tried to get the story. Apparently, when the guy came home there was a man inside their house. His girlfriend, who was home, "did not know who the man was." (yup, she was cheating.)
The boyfriend "politely asked the gentlemen to leave," which he obliged. But the boyfriend thought he saw the random man in their house grab something and drive away. (Boyfriend and side dude fought. Side dude left.)
Out of frustration, he became so "dehydrated" that he wanted to go to the store immediately and get water. Which is when he promptly rammed into the car of said "random man." (Boyfriend got angry, chased him down, rammed his car.)
He then proceeded to get whooped by said "random man." (Oops. That didn't work out the way he had planned.)
Moral of the story is don't make decisions when you're "dehydrated."
Murdered Over Noodles
GiphyPolice officer of 24 years here. This is not an unbelievable lie, but rather a believable lie followed by an unbelievable truth.
When I worked homicide we responded to a dead body fallen from a high rise apartment call. The deceased is an elderly, Asian male. When we went upstairs and met with the wife, an elderly Asian woman, she told us he jumped and committed suicide in front of her.
She was hysterical and distraught. After talking to her for awhile, she revealed that he hadn't actually meant to commit suicide.
He pissed her off when he demanded dinner. He asked her for noodles and then went and took a nap. When water was boiling, she poured the boiling hot water on his face and body.
He woke from the nap disoriented, in shock and in horrible pain - and jumped out the window. Dead. 11 stories. Yes, he had scathing burn marks on his face when we inspected his body. She was arrested for murder.
Pants Again
Found a baggy of coke on a guy arrested in the courthouse, on his court date, after sentencing. He knew he had that court date and brought the coke anyway. His response when I pulled it out of his pocket?
"These aren't my pants, I borrowed them from my friend two years ago."
Donations
Got a call about a robbery. An elderly guy had been punched and someone stole his phone. The victim had a bloody mouth and gave a very good description of the suspect. I found the guy at a nearby bus stop and put him in cuffs. He had the phone sticking out of his back pocket. His story was that the victim walked up to him and just gave it to him.
Uh-huh
And then while I looked in a different direction for a second I looked back and he had been able to reach around in front of him and was digging in the front pocket of his hoodie. I pulled his hand out and he was holding a wad of crack. He immediately said that this wasn't his hoodie and some guy just gave it to him. But it was a different guy than the one with a phone.
Now he wasn't wearing a shirt under the hoodie and it was in the mid 30's. I guess he was just walking around with no shirt on and people just decided to donate stuff to him.
We don't catch the smart ones folks.
Whaaaaaaat?
We were searching a car and found meth and pipe next to the passenger, the driver (in the most unconvincing tone possible) said "Whaaaaaat? I can't believe that...that's crazy...I would never expect that from her. I'll be honest with you, (usually means they're about to lie) I had no idea she had that."
Two minutes later I go to search him and unsurprisingly find another bag of meth at his feet, just under the bumper of the car. He said it was there when he got out of the car.
Red-handed
I quite literally had a case involving a guy doing graffiti with red spray paint. He tried to deny that it was him when we caught up to him - with red paint all over his hands...
In HD
GiphyThe dickheads who deny its them in the HD quality CCTV of them shoplifting is always a laugh. Especially when they have been caught just after and they are in the same clothes, same obviously Tatts, everything.
Great Throw (Yup, More Pants)
Had a woman say, when a baggie of suspected coke was found in her pants pocket, that "some one threw it over the stall wall while I was in the bathroom and it landed in my pocket."
Undercover
"I'm really undercover following this lady around she's a known meth dealer" - from an obvious crack head...
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.