People Share The Pettiest Thing They Have Ever Done To Get Back At A Neighbor
Some of us are lucky: We have good neighbors. We each go about our business; no one makes any noise or brings any drama into each other's lives... It's quite simple, really.
But others aren't so lucky, and chances are pretty high that you've been one of those unlucky people. (As have I, sad to say.)
You've probably fantasized about ways you could get petty revenge on your awful neighbors, and thankfully Quora gave us our fix in the form of the following question: "What's the pettiest thing you've done to get back at a nuisance neighbor?"
"Then one week..."
No real names used, because, frankly, I don't know if I ever knew their names in the first place, and I really couldn't care less what they are anyway.
I had just moved into my very first house. Pride of ownership and what-not. We're serving pizza to my brother and friends who helped us move. The doorbell—*my* doorbell—rings, and I cheerfully go answer it. It's a guy I don't recognize. Must be one of the neighbors, here to welcome us to the neighborhood! I open the door wide and greet him with a smile.
"You ran your truck all over my G. D. lawn and ruined it," Slouch McSneererson spits out at me. My brother, who happened to be just over my shoulder at the time, had been driving the truck, and he had gone up on the curb a wee bit to back it into the driveway. Bro and I walk out with Slouch to assess the damage. Trying not to make enemies on my first day in the neighborhood, I say, "Of course, I'll be glad to do whatever is necessary to fix it." It's a rut in the boulevard strip. I understand not being happy about it, but sheesh, it's pretty easy to fix.
"You're not touchin' my G. D. lawn, not after I dumped three thousand dollars worth of water on it to get it to grow!" Ol' Slouch grumbled. Okay, so what did he actually want then? I wasn't going to offer him $3,000 for a stupid rut. First, I don't care what he spent on the water bill, he watered his whole lawn, not just that one spot, and second, you pull up the sod, level out the dirt, put the sod back down. $20 to throw a little extra dirt, fertilizer, and seed in there to make it better. Nope, Slouch just wanted to beeyotch at me about it. Establish his place as better than me, I guess.
Now, both my wife and I have jobs. So on trash day, one or the other of us puts our trash cans at the curb like everyone else, then when we get home, we pull them back into the garage. Fast forward a couple weeks. Slouch catches me as I'm starting to haul the trash cans back to the garage. "Your G. D. trash cans were in the middle of the road all day." I look around, like, they're lying right here on the boulevard strip where they belong. "I kicked 'em back to the grass, 'cuz they were in my emmer-effin' way."
"Oh," I said. "Well, thanks, Slouch. I appreciate you watching out for us."
"Didn't do it for you! Keep 'em outta the street!"
Kinda hard to do when there's no specific time for the trash to be picked up, there's no one at home to watch for it, and telecommuting hadn't been invented yet, but… okay, whatevs.
Several more times, Slouch helpfully informed me when my G. D. trash cans were in the G. D. road, and in his emmer-effin way.
Then one day, I came home and one of my trash cans had been flattened. Like one of those magician's top hats. No credit taken for it, but I knew who did it. But it was one of those rubber ones, so I stood in the circle and pulled the sides up like a pair of pants, then clambered out of the trash can and took it to the garage. This happened 3–4 times.
Then one week, one of our trash cans disappeared. Interestingly, the McSneerersons suddenly had one more trash can in their possession than they had before, and it looked startlingly like mine. I told myself they must need it more than me, being more trashy people than we were, and let them keep it.
(Oh, one night I did sneak over there on trash day and put my name on it with a Sharpie. Just to needle them.)
They did other things to demonstrate their value to the community. Bottle rockets launched at other houses, breaking into garages to steal lawnmowers, breaking into cars to steal radios (not mine this time, but only because I kept mine in my now-stoutly-locked garage).
When the For Sale sign went up in our yard, they vandalized that! I'd have really thought they'd be happy we were moving out, they seemed so disturbed by our presence, but whatever. I didn't mention it earlier because it didn't fit in the rest of the narrative, but these were some really racist, bigoted people as well. They'd host backyard picnics from time to time, and as the darkness fell and the empty beer cans increased in number, and the bottle rockets started flying, you'd hear various disparaging comments about the various ethnic groups they were forced to work with and such. Edit: I just remembered that their house had a flagpole, and it flew the Stars and Bars, day and night. That doesn't necessarily make them de facto racist, but it doesn't put much distance between them and a culture that thought it was okay to treat people as object to be bought and sold.
Well, we got a few people looking at our house, and one young couple decided they wanted to buy it. They made a very attractive offer on it, and I was inclined to accept it, but first I spoke with the gentleman. Essentially, telling him that we're glad to sell to him, but feel he should be aware that the neighborhood is very white, and there are a small number of people in the area who won't be happy to see a black couple moving in. He smiled and said he was aware that the neighborhood was lily white, and that racism was a fact of life for him and his wife, and he wasn't worried about anything. Indeed, he was a big man—bigger than me, and I'm pretty big—and pretty solidly muscled. If anyone could stand up to Slouch McSneererson, this guy could.
So moving day finally arrived and we had a crew in to box up and load everything. I gave them instructions, though: the place we're going, you contract with a trash hauler, and they give you your wheelie bins, so we're not going to need the trash cans moved. Just leave them in back of the house. We filled them with all the trash we were leaving behind, including the perishable contents of our refrigerator and freezer. The truck pulled away with all our stuff, including our vehicles. But we stayed in the house for one last evening, "camping out" on the floor.
We got up very early the next day to catch our early flight out. Miraculously, in the middle of the night, our missing trash can apparated on our front lawn, as if it had been there all the time! Ol' Slouch thought he was getting one last dig in, apparently, as now we'd have to haul a dirty old trash can with us to our new home. He didn't know we were getting a taxi to the airport, nor that we didn't need the trash cans any more.
While my wife was getting ready to leave, I hauled that trash can and the ones in back of the house, full of all our left-behind stuff, including the now thoroughly stinky contents of our fridge and freezer, and left them on Slouch's front and side porches, with a paper taped to them saying, "You appeared to need our trash cans more than we do. Enjoy!"
I like to think that he believed them to be empty and gave them a kick, simultaneously hurting his foot and dumping garbage all down his front porch steps.
Not proud of it. But I do giggle like a schoolgirl when I think about it.
"She had a three-car-wide garage..."Giphy
Ah, the Snow War.
We had a neighbor who lived across the street from us who was a real b. After hearing the things she'd yell at her terminally-ill husband or her adult son or any of her other relatives who had somehow been induced to stop by, it was pretty obvious to me that it wasn't just her neighbors that she hated.
She had a three-car-wide garage with a correspondingly wide driveway, even though she only had one vehicle (this was after her husband had died). When it snowed, she expected whichever of her male relatives were currently at her beck-and-call to clear the entire width of the driveway. If it was just an inch or two of snow, a snow shovel would suffice. But once in a great while we'd get a deep snow. At that point, random-male-relative would arrive with a snowblower.
In addition to the snowblower, he also brought an apparently genetic lack of respect for other people, because the direction in which he chose to blow the snow was not—as would seem logical—onto neighbor's lawn, but instead into the street…specifically, toward the end of our single-car driveway (which was a bit further down the street from her driveway), where it turned into a wide patch of ice.
Because the street had a bit of a slope upward in the direction you'd need to drive to get off our street in the winter, that patch of ice made it nearly impossible for a car to get any traction after exiting our driveway. It wasn't just a nuisance; it was a dangerous nuisance.
Despite my husband having had words with her and with random-male-relative about the situation, it kept happening. Finally, since I was pretty sure that this behavior wasn't legal, the next time that the snowblower was used to cause this hazard, I called the police.
Sadly—according to the cop—moving snow onto the street turned out to be a perfectly legal thing to do. That news (which she overheard) seemed to please neighbor quite a lot. Unfortunately for her, that fact was very useful to me.
When her random-male-relative was done with his dirty work and gone, and the sun had gone down, I went outside with a nice, quiet snow shovel (we didn't own a snowblower ourselves). I removed the snow from the road in front of our driveway. In fact, I removed it from most of the street between our houses. But I was very careful about where I put it…
I put it, very legally, on the street in front of her driveway. From one side of her very wide driveway to the other, I built a ridge of snow about a foot high and a foot thick. I didn't set foot on her property at all. The snow was was all on the street, where the cop had very plainly said it was permissible to put it.
But once the twice-moved snow froze into a solid mass, there was no way she was going to get a vehicle out of her driveway. In fact, it took her quite some time the next day to get someone out to do the very difficult (no snow blowing possible) work of removing that ridge. The only bad part was that it was a Saturday (it would have been much nicer if she'd been late for work).
Interestingly, neighbor never permitted her random-male-relatives to blow snow into the street after that.
"A number of years ago..."
A number of years ago my wife and I lived on the ground floor of a two floor apartment building with approximately 8 units. Next door to us was a lady in her early 60s with a 20 something son of hers that rarely left the apartment and they proceeded to moan and groan at each other all day. The 20 something didn't have a job or any sort of plan for life or at least some idea what he wanted to do. Well, that wasn't the worst of it because about 2 months after we moved in and heard them screeching at all hours of the day we had woman with a child upstairs who moved in 2 months after us.
That wouldn't have been problem except for her and her kid dropping things on the floor at all hours of the day including 2 am, 4 am, 6am and whenever they felt like doing so. She would also play very loud and obnoxious music at all hours of the day while we would usually wear headphones or at least keep the volume to a limit where you could only hear it in our apartment just out of basic respect for others.
This went on for well over a year on and off and we talked to apartment management who didn't do anything about it other than tell her to turn it down. Well, that didn't work and they didn't bother to evict her for her behavior. Which also included leaving dropped candy and gum in the main stairwell and in front our interior apartment door. Finally apartment management came over to clean it all up because her next door neighbors were a bunch of pigs as well but at least they were quiet.
On our second year lease, we had already decided to move out after calling the cops countless times and being told that there was nothing they could do about loud music at all hours of the day which I found nonsense because its a disturbing the peace even in the state we lived in as well as the city having a noise ordinance. They simply didn't want to do their job and I politely told one of the middle aged officers thanks for nothing so much for protect and serve.
So finally we got our future moving plans together and found a brand new place in a smaller and more quiet town without some of the big city drama that was going on in our community. After dealing with the cops and the apartment management company, we were just wore out from all of the nonsense including having a child who was aged 0 to 21 months at the time.
Our final middle finger to the neighbor was to leave for a day on the weekend and make sure to have every radio blasting in the entire apartment including the boom box stereo in the living room and another couple of radios in the bedrooms that were very loud. We left for the day and went to visit some family about 50 miles away. I can only imagine the sheer frustration that upstairs neighbor had as we left for an overnight stay at relatives in the new town we were moving too. Anyway, on this Saturday evening we received a cell phone call from the management company that they were going to go into our apartment because the neighbors had complained about loud music. Well they did and shut down the radios but after that we didn't have any more problems for the 2 months we lived there prior to our move and finished out our lease.
Its too bad you have to go to extremes to get people's attention but sometimes that's just the way it is because some people aren't very smart and don't listen to reason.
My neighbour's 22 year old stay home delinquent had an habit of sticking his head out of his attic room and yelling at the kids, mine included, when they were playing. This tended to happen on weekends when he was nursing an hangover.
Entreaties to his parents by the parents of the affected kids did nothing. Nor would he come out outside when challenged by an irate parent. Then he called my daughter a c*nt. She was 6. I decided to deal with it.
One day a bright blue Rover Metro appeared outside his house when everyone was out. This car had a tax disc in the window and it was before the days of computerised insurance databases. It was therefore legally parked and all locked up. Although roadworthy it looked a state with a long scrape down one side. It would look good sandwiched between their BMW and Toyota. In fact it looked just like the one my friends sister was selling for £30 since it got scraped on a skip. However this one was special. Someone had gone over the entire car with an indelible marker pen. In foot high letters. Every panel had a neat statement identifying my errant neighbour as a prolific ahole.
Every bit of the car including the roof had his name, address and a variation of the same accusation. At five pm his mum came home. She saw the Metro and instantly jumped into her car and shot off. Five minutes later she was back with a can of black paint. She tried to spray over it but someone had sprayed WD 40 on the panels and it had sat in the hot sun drying all afternoon. The paint wouldn't stick. It was so funny seeing her on her knees desperately trying to cover up the abuse. When the son and husband came home all hell broke loose. It went on for weeks.
The kids loved it. They would stand around it and read out the statements to each other, loudly asking innocent questions like "What's a Nonce?" Nobody knew who owned the car and the police refused to get involved as the car checked out as all legal. The local police knew it was community action because of the son, they wisely stayed out of it. It had a sting in the tail too.
One day, about a month later there was a lot of shouting from Mum just after the post had been delivered. She had always accused the son of some kind of involvement and didn't believe that he knew nothing. She was loudly calling him a lying little bastard! Someone had sent the registration document for the car off in the son's name. She was furious. This meant he was legally responsible for the car. It also meant he could deal with it but he was unable to move it due to lack of keys. Even if he did get into it someone had removed the fuel pump relay so it wouldn't start. They ended up having to pay to have it taken away. I last saw it on the back of a truck and thought "Lot of car for £30" As for the son he became known amongst the neighbours and especially the kids as the Fiddler in the Roof. He never swore at or even spoke to another kid on the street ever again in the time I lived there. You can always find a way back at someone if you think about it a little.
As an adult, I'm very (well, somewhat) ashamed of having done this, but I really don't think there was any other way to end the constant war.
The high school I went to had the oldest rivalry in the state I grew up in. The week prior to the football game was mayhem, filled with bonfires, fights, and an all-out, nothing off limits prank war. Some quick examples: one year they burned their school name into our football field, so we let a herd of goats loose on theirs; they stole all the letters off the ornate wooden sign at ours, so we took their mascot statue and sunk it in their campus pond (they were pirates, so it was fitting); they stole our goal posts so we dyed their pool blue with a mix of Kool aid and Jell-O… it was insane.
Anyways, my next door neighbors had a son that went to my school, but his gf went to the rival. During Spirit week, everyone decorated their cars with paint, flags, streamers, etc. My senior year, his gf and some of her friends started targeting me. Over the course of the week I had to deal with around 6dozen eggs, shaving foam, more tp than I care to estimate. After the first night, I started parking at the close end of the driveway instead of on the street (4cars in our fam at the time), but that night they egged all our cars, not just mine, and let the air out of all the tires. It went on for 4 nights straight, with me having to get up before sunrise to wash all the cars and use the air pump to refill the tires.
Now, my father is very conservative and doesn't back vengeance in any way, but he was pissed. The eggs and foam ruined the paint on 3 of the cars, including his new caddy, so he told me quite clearly that as long as I didn't get caught, I could get payback.
The night of the game came, and they won, as per the norm, so the gf and all her friends were at my neighbor's house partying. With all the music and whatnot, we could've set a nuke off and they wouldn't have heard it, but a couple of friends and I played ninja. With a combo of baloney slices, life savers, and nail polish remover, we turned her lovely little beamer into a polka dotted nightmare.
For the uninitiated, baloney eats thru the clear coat and the grease usually prevents it from being easily washed off; with the Lifesavers, it's lick em and stick em and if you try to remove them without dissolving them, it takes the paint with it down to primer; and of course acetone will eat thru everything down to the metal and can be used quite effectively with a sponge brush.
Her screaming woke us all up the next morning. While my dad didn't approve of some of the drawing and word choice, he gave me a discreet high five and said he had gotten his money's worth.
Ironically, my first college roommate went to the rival school. We shared many laughs about the crazy antics of our class, and agreed to not damage one another's stuff. Before I moved to the SW, I made a point to go home every year for the game, so my kids would get to see where mom spent 4 amazing years.
Reddit user one-droplet asked: 'What have you always done, but later found out was gross?'
There's this amazing quote by Maya Angelou that we can all put into practice: "Do the best you can until you know better. Then, when you know better, do better."
This can be applied to anything in life, from learning more about a subject that we're passionate about, to practicing better time management skills, to being a better friend.
But there are some things that we may not even realize we need to do better... until we suddenly know better.
Cringing in anticipation, Redditor one-droplet asked:
"What have you always done, but later found out was gross?"
The Best Ice
"When I was like five or six years old I would love going to the grocery store with my mom because the vegetable and fruit and meat tables always had the best ice to chew on..."
"I work in a restaurant, and I try to grab a cup to get the ice before they use it for raw oysters and shrimp cocktails. It really is the best ice."
Toilet Paper Use
"As an Asian, I was always taught growing up to throw used toilet paper in the trash bin. It wasn't until I went on a school trip to Italy and the chaperone mentioned to everyone, 'The plumbing system here isn't as good as the USA so you guys are just gonna have to throw it in the trash bin,' and everyone went, 'Ew.'"
"That's when I learned that it was gross to throw toilet paper in the trash bin since the issue was you're basically having shit bits sitting around in a bin."
"All my life, I wiped my toothbrush on the hand towel to dry it up until my sister asked what the f**k I was doing."
"My sister used to scrub the bristles on the faucet where the water came out when she was done brushing her teeth. I guess to dry it off. I still cringe thinking about it."
That's Not Clay
"As a child, I would dig up bits of clay from the local sandbox. It wasn’t as good as Play-Doh, so I would cast it aside and continue digging."
"Maybe I didn’t have a very good sense of smell at that age, because I was well into adulthood before I realized it was probably cat s**t."
"I showered in a dirty tub. Once I discovered how gross it really was, my hoarder mother didn’t like it when I cleaned the bathroom, so I just lived with it til I was able to get a place."
"My hoarder mom was like this."
"When I tried to wash the nicotine off the walls in my bedroom, my hoarder parents were not happy."
"I waited until a towel smelled weird to swap it out."
"Look, the towel forgets everything before the next shower."
Self-Service Assorted Candies
"I used to really like those self-service lollies/candy buckets with the scoops. They were in most big box stores in Australia, like Kmart, Target, Big W. So much fun mixing and matching."
"But then one day I started working at Target. Every single day I caught old people and kids with their hands directly inside grabbing them out and munching down all slobbery-like. That turned me off forever."
"Though not too long after they started disappearing from businesses so obviously someone got the unsanitary message."
"I flushed my tampons my whole life until I was about 30. No one had taught me they weren’t flushable. I stupidly thought they were like toilet paper."
"One expensive and embarrassing plumbing problem later, I never did it again."
"Not brushing my teeth when I wake up. I would only brush my teeth after breakfast, and I would rarely eat breakfast."
"So most days I would only brush my teeth at night. I figured, 'Well, I brushed last night and haven’t eaten anything since, so why should I brush again?'"
" Then I learned about all the bacteria that feed on the tiny bits of food left in your teeth and they literally expel gas and feces in your mouth as they consume it. And this is what causes awful morning breath."
"So I have this mental image of bacteria poop and farts coating my mouth and have brushed every morning since regardless of eating breakfast or not."
"Brush at night to keep your teeth, and brush in the morning to keep your friends."
Not Just Yellow Snow
"Eating snow. Just take the same handful of snow you might see a kid stuff in their mouth and let it melt in a glass. Bet you wouldn’t willingly drink it!"
Don't Visit Everyone's House
"I sit on my couch butt naked when I’m alone watching TV at night. I mean I’m relatively clean but I feel sorry for anyone else that sits there."
Letting the Hair Fall Where It May
"I'm suffering from hair loss at the moment (51 Female) and I'm often absent-mindedly raking a hand through my long hair, glancing at what comes out and then dropping the strands on the floor."
"Just read on another sub that that's pretty disgusting to other people. In my defense, I work exclusively from home in my own small office and would never do it in public, but even so, maybe my husband thinks I'm gross."
"Wearing shoes inside. My family was not a shoes off family and they always wore outside shoes inside."
"I remember a few friends' homes were strict shoes-off homes, but I thought that was the minority."
"I was about 27 years old before I realized it was disgusting and people were definitely judging my etiquette."
"Double-dipping snacks. Pretty logical but only found out recently that’s very bad etiquette."
"Double-dipping is only acceptable if you’re not sharing the dip with anyone."
"Some things I've learned:"
"Wash my bedsheets every week, including bed, pillows, and covers."
"Only use the same bath towel twice before washing it."
"Use a new toothbrush head every month."
"Always wash my hands coming back from a store or public transit."
"And NEVER EVER go into a resort pool with a swim-in bar."
This conversation was so cringe-worthy and left us wanting a shower in the worst way.
At least for most of these Redditors, now that they knew these are gross habits, they've chosen to do something better.
Sources provided by health experts informed us to eat fruits and vegetables in order to nourish our bodies with energy, and to drink milk to ensure we grew up with strong bones and muscles.
However, nowadays, consumers are confused.
There seems to be conflicting information every day regarding the benefits, or harm, of eating the foods we were always told were detrimental to our health.
Curious to hear from strangers online about our misconceptions regarding the foods we eat, Redditor Meerkate asked:
"What are some foods that aren't as unhealthy as people make them out to be?"
People discuss everyone's favorite movie snack.
Pass The Popcorn
"Popcorn. For how good it tastes, it has almost nothing bad in it."
"You add the salt and butter of course, and those arent great, but you're not getting a super high amount of those."
"Adding in decent quality butter (not margarine) and a few shakes of regular salt is not unhealthy at all. The problem is with the sh*t that movie theatres put in popcorn."
Careful With The Seasoning
"My body started rejecting movie theater popcorn butter when I was about 25. That stuff will make you sh*t your pants and miss the end of the movie. Just salt for me thanks. Real melted butter at home or at Alamo Drafthouse."
"I love popcorn."
"You probably buy the kernels too but for those who don't, it's significantly cheaper and healthier to buy just a big container of popcorn kernels."
"Pop them on the stove top with a small amount of oil and sprinkle some finely ground salt (that's what movie theaters use for that magic flavor) and you're golden."
"It's super easy. I don't even add butter."
"You can also pop kernels in the microwave in a paper bag or in a bowl without buying the pre-bagged stuff. You'll never go back to those once you've popped your own kernels."
"An air popper works too of course, though that will definitely require butter."
Redditors talk about the health benefits of eating certain kinds of fat.
Not So Fat
"Fat in general (not the trans ones tho)"
"The low fat craze of the late ‘90s/early ‘00s has A LOT to answer for. My mom is still ridiculous about it. Yeah, moderation is good, but you can add some butter to your food so it’s edible and still live a long life."
Fat Is Your Friend
"Fat is a great source of sustained energy that doesn’t boost your blood glucose like other options."
"You really, really need fat in your diet for proper hormone regulation and other important body processes!"
Go easy on the carbs.
"Potatoes got several countries through famine! Probably alot of people associate them with fatty fries or crisps."
"Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew"
"Exactly this. High satiation and low cost. You can wash out a lot of the starch if you're worried about it."
Let's discuss fruity.
"I’m so tired of hearing people talk about 'all the natural sugar in fruit.'”
"I guarantee you this banana is healthier than potato chips and cookies."
"My mom has done basically ever fad diet ever, but one thing I do like about the 'new' Weight Watchers is that fruits, vegetables, and lean meats like chicken breast are zero points. I think the logic behind it is that there is no f'king way you're going to eat enough carrot sticks and apples to make yourself gain weight, so they're trying to encourage people to default to that stuff when they're hungry even if they're out of points rather than just starving until they give up and eat a bunch of unhealthy foods. Weight Watchers doesn't really work long term, but that detail is nice."
"I think its the fiber in fruit that makes it not as bad. Also, it has nutrition to make up for it unlike the cookie that's just all refined flour and sugar."
"There are scientific studies suggesting that not all the calories in nuts are bioavailable, so you might only get 75% of the calories! There are also studies showing they contribute to weight loss even despite being high in calories."
When I was told butter is actually a better alternative to margarine–which is known to contain trans fat–I started cooking more with butter.
I believe we can eat anything in moderation, so as much as I love smearing pads of butter on my English muffin, I take it easy.
When it comes to baking with it and putting it on toast, nothing beats the flavor of my favorite dairy fat.
It goes without saying, that when we pay a visit to a hospital, either as a guest or as a patient, we only see a very small portion of all the working parts of a hospital.
While countless doctors, nurses and orderlies will be seen roaming the halls, their hands more than full, there are also lab technicians and administrators who are every bit as busy, just not as visible.
Knowing this does rather make one wonder what goes on in a hospital that we don't see, or don't realize.
Or, for that matter, what we patients are actually entitled to, that they may not realize.
A question possibly best left unanswered.
Even so, Redditor SingLikeTinaTurner was eager to find out, leading them to ask:
"Hospital workers of Reddit, what happens there that's hidden but that we should know about?"
If You Know, You Know...
"Not really hidden and kinda minor but I’ll say it anyways."
"I deliver food to patients and it’s not hard to tell when someone is on their way out."
"Could be simply not being hungry, or could be the inability to eat."
"Had one patient who hadn’t eaten anything off their tray for 3 days straight."
"The last time I delivered to them, they smiled and gave me a wink."
"Next day, they were gone."
"It’s rough seeing these things happen in real-time."
"I’m a grown @ss man who doesn’t cry often, but it always leaves me feeling extra empty picking up the untouched trays and replacing them with another tray that I know will stay untouched as well."- jgss2018
Hidden In Plain Sight
"Sometimes when people die we just put an oxygen mask on them and wheel them through the corridors."
"Less distressing for other patients and visitors to think they are asleep rather than see a body with a sheet over it."- dont-believe-me-·
Know Your Rights
"You, as a patient, have every right to refuse any test or treatment or even leave."
"At any time."
"For any reason."
"Unless a harm to self or others- that's different, at least in the US."
"Added bonus you should know: leaving against medical advice DOES NOT mean insurance will not pay for the care you've received."
"Your insurance will still be billed the same as anyone else who stayed the whole time till discharge."
"But if you leave with an IV in your arm we will call the police to find you and bring you back to remove it, because of drug abuse."- Suitable_Sorbet_8718
Peeking Not Recommended
"The hospital I work at has these big square covers."
"When I first started, I would see transport staff pushing these things around the halls."
"I thought they were food trays, or large boxes of hospital equipment."
"Turns out it’s a structured bed cover, so when they are transporting a deceased patient to the morgue, it doesn’t look like a person under a sheet."- rajortoa9
The Flashing Lights Only Get You So Far
"An ambulance ride is not a one way ticket to the front of the line."
"You still get triaged and could be rolled right to the waiting room if you’re non-emergent."- dozerdude1995emergency ambulance GIFGiphy
Whatever Gets Them In The Zone...
"We listen to music in the OR."
"Most people seem surprised when they hear that."- johnnyscans
Hide And Seek...
"I got a fast bleep (ie. drop everything you’re doing and attend this emergency please) one night to a side room on the ward to find no patient in the bed."
"Was just about to leave the room and go back out to the nurses station, where there had been a bit of a hubbub when I’d dashed past the first time, when something caught my eye."
"Looked up to see a face with wide, slightly wild 'psych eyes' peering down at me from a gap in the ceiling tiles."
"She was a lady waiting for a bed in the psych hospital who’d clearly thought the ceiling was the best place to hide from the people trying to poison her."
"Honestly can’t think of another occasion that I’ve been quite so terrified."
"Worst thing was that I had to walk (well, dash) back out underneath her to get help from the nurses and security to get her down."- Leas-Pe·
Speaking In Code...
"If you register in the ER and tell the triage nurse that your problem is 'personal' we know you’re here because of something genital or anal related."
"A lot of we healthcare workers have seen a lot."
"If you’re not truthful at triage, your care might be less prompt when it’s a true medical emergency."
"It is possible to die of embarrassment."- DocWednesdayHide Reaction GIF by florGiphy
Things You Can Tell Just By Looking At Them
"If you come into the ER drunk there is guaranteed a pool of bets on your blood alcohol level, possibly with odds if there's a pharmacist available to do the math for us."- K-Tanz
Ensuring They're Surrounded By Love
"In the ICU you spend a lot of time keeping corpses alive until their family comes around or their body gives out."
“'Oh Jesus ain’t ready for her yet!'”
"Yes, Jesus is ready for her; we’re just actively delaying it."- gamerdudeNYC
Maybe Not Just At Hosptials... Just A Thought...
"Not hidden, per se, but for the love of all that is holy, if you insist on bringing your kid into the hospital, do NOT let them crawl or play on the floor."
"The amount of literal blood, urine, poop, and vomit that has been on it and hastily (not thoroughly) cleaned up is, well, a lot."
"The hospital, especially the floors, is NOT a clean environment."
"Added to that, think of all the rooms nurses, doctors, housekeeping staff, etc. have walked into."
"Rooms that have COVID or Norovirus or group A Strep."
"We walked into those rooms and those same shoes walked into other rooms."
"Tl;dr hospital floors are disgusting as f*ck."- duckface08Baby Crawls Face First Across The Floor GIF by ViralHogGiphy
Not An Exact Science...
"Hospital lab worker here."
"Not particularly scandalous, but most people don't realiZe their lab tests are just very accurate guesses, and have an error range."
"When we say your 'X' is 10g/L, we might actually mean it's 10g/L ± 10-20%."
"I see too many people get extremely worked up about small fluctuations in blood test values that aren't actually in excess of the reference change value, and so technically aren't genuinely different from a previous value."- Hayred
A Decision No One Wants To Make...
"You are doing your 90 year old grandmother a great disservice by making her a full code, she will not survive CPR and her death will be significantly more traumatic because of it."- singlenutwonder
WASH YOUR FREAKIN' HANDS!!!
"I help patients to the bathroom nonstop all day."
"The amount of patients that just leave the bathroom without washing their hands is disgusting."
"If I didn’t hear the sink or soap dispenser your a** is getting led right to an alcohol hand station."- MadamiamadamWash Hands Water GIF by Jared D. WeissGiphy
More goes on in a hospital than we're ever likely to know.
If you check out from a hospital healthier than you were when you checked in, that's probably all you need to know.
Even if it's understandable to ask what song the doctor was listening to when you were open on the operating table.
My family went on a lot trips when I was young, and we always stayed in hotel rooms. Around the time my brother and I were old enough to stay in a room by ourselves (our parents would stay in another one, usually across the hall), he also became a bit of a germaphobe.
At the time, I actually believed hotels changed the sheets on the beds daily, so when my brother fretted about the cleanliness of the hotels, I reassured him they were fine. He believed me at first, since I was his big sister, but by the time he was 12, he got suspicious.
During one of our trips, he decided to test this by making a mark on his pillow cover with a pen and turning the pillow cover inside out before we left for sightseeing the next morning. When we returned, he turned the pillow cover back, and his mark was still there, proving that the sheets hadn't been changed. He only had to do this one more time, during our next trip, for me to realize this wasn't a one-off.
Ever since, and even now in adulthood, my brother and I always intentionally spill something on our sheets during our first night in order to get clean sheets, at least for the duration of our stay. This, in fact, is the first thing we do.
I'm not the only person who does something a bit quirky like this when they first enter a hotel rooms. Plenty or Redditors have stories about this and are ready to share.
It all started when Redditor BlundeRuss asked:
"What’s the first thing you do when you get into a hotel room?"
Preparing For Sights
"Go to the balcony to see if it's going to be public nudity or private nudity during my morning coffee."
"I love that this doesn’t change your plans, just prepares your mind. Excellence."
Show Me The Truth
"Put my bags up on something and check the mattress. I also bought a UV flashlight but after using it at home I’ve decided that bringing it to a hotel would be unnecessary torture. Nothing is clean when you shine the thing on it. And I mean nothing."
"One of my close friends travels a ton for business. She also loves to sleep in a f**king ice box."
"She has found some resource for how to basically jailbreak hotel thermostats. Each hotel thermostat has a specific key sequence that unlocks the lower temps that the hotel normally doesn’t allow guests to set because, you know, money."
"I do this in every hotel."
"Set bags down."
"Look at room for cleanliness."
"Take a dump."
"I showed up early to a hotel after 12 hours straight of driving. Took forever for them to get me in the room (really it was probably only 30 minutes and they were super accommodating)."
"Anyways, I had been feeling the tyrannical gouging of a sh*t demon trying to claw it's way out for about half an hour beforehand. I ran down the hall, opened the door, threw my bag at something, and was kinda hovering over the toilet just in time. Hadn't put cheek to rim yet and my darling baby began his exit."
"It wasn't until after I looked up that I realized neither door was the self-closing kind and you could see all the way in from the hallway."
"You’ve unlocked a childhood memory. I stayed in a lot of hotels while growing up and I saw someone in your position once, trail of belongings leading to the toilet. So I went and shut the door for him."
"Find the bible and flip through it. When my sister and I were kids, we went to Disney, and I think she asked why is there always a bible in the drawer, waved it by the spine and 20 bucks fell out. So I always check now."
"I found $100 that way. 5 crisp 20's,. I was pretty broke at the time too."
"First, I look at the area between the mattress and headboard for any signs of bed bugs, then under the sheets. I’ve never encountered them, but I’ve heard so many horror stories that I’m paranoid about them."
"As someone who worked in hotels, I always double check the door locks and then inspect for bed bugs."
"Look for cameras. I'm a paranoid f**k."
"If anyone wants to see an overweight guy in his mid-40s eat pringles in his underwear while reading Stephen King novels, then they have my flabby white blessing."
"They sell surprisingly easy to use scanners on Amazon. I found a camera in an air bb bedroom alarm clock, threw a towel over it and got the whole stay for free. Some will detect signals but the best way is there’s a looking glass that’s red and it emits a light and you turn off all the lights and look around the room. Any active camera will shine like a cats eyes when you skim over it."
The Things We Find
"I check in odd places to see if anyone stashed drugs or money. You would be surprised at all the sh*t I’ve found over the years!"
"We found an axe under the bed once."
"Yank the comforter off the bed and throw it in the corner. they rarely wash those things."
"I discovered this recently while calling home to say good night to everyone. Dried food stuck to the comforter. Threw that bad boy off the bed."
"I cleaned an air BnB for a little while and I was so disturbed when they told me they didn't wash the comforter because hotels don't.... Like I guess I get it because they're heavy and they're trying to save water on the washes but yuck dude... Cleaning that air Bnb made me NEVER want to book one because of the sh*t the owners wouldn't LET me clean... I don't think I'd ever survive as a maid for a hotel, I could never travel again lol."
It's A Process
"Make a condom for the TV remote control. Take the ice bag from the ice bucket and put the remote in it. Now I never have to touch the remote."
"I'm sure disinfectant wipes could do the job."
Check For Monsters...People Monsters
"Make sure no one is hiding under the bed or in the bathroom 😂😅"
"I travel a lot for work…and I’m shocked no one else mentioned this. First I check the closet, under the bed, the bathroom for a hiding serial killer…then check the mattress for bedbugs…"
Today I Learned
"Check for cleanliness and then take pictures Traffickcam."
"Traffickcam is an app where you take specific pictures of your room and then upload them to their database. They use these pictures to check on the location of human trafficking victims."
"Take a picture of the room and post it on the Trafickcam app so if the room or similar has been used by human traffickers maybe it will help find someone."
And thanks to those last two stories, I'm a little scared to stay in another hotel.