Airbnb Owners Share Their Most Regrettable And Nightmarish Guest Experiences

Airbnb Owners Share Their Most Regrettable And Nightmarish Guest Experiences
[rebelmouse-image 18345143 is_animated_gif=Imagine renting out your living space to a complete stranger. Everything will go smoothly and you will get paid, right? Not likely! That type of intimate exchange comes with a lot of juicy stories and usually a little bit of regret.
44th_king asks:
Airbnb landlords what's your worst guest story?
Get ready for these gems!
Is that...my kitchen!?
[rebelmouse-image 18345144 is_animated_gif=I had one "tenant" make a porn. I didn't find out until I was cruising around. I noticed my living room and kitchen
The house party
[rebelmouse-image 18345145 is_animated_gif=Not the landlord, but the neighbor of one. She rented her house out, and the tenant threw a massive house party with over a hundred people in it. They destroyed her house and tore down our fence as they fled when the cops arrived on scene.
Borderline worst-case scenario
[rebelmouse-image 18345147 is_animated_gif=My boss rented out his old house on Airbnb and in the night they took every item and piece of furniture in an afternoon except a sofa.
Greedy guests!
[rebelmouse-image 18345148 is_animated_gif=We did a bit and it was ok. Worst wasn't bad at all, but a bit of a culture clash.
They complained our house, a 100 year-old cottage in the New Forest, southern England, didn't have a particular type of bedding (only found in America), and didn't have 'bug screens'.
We tried to explain that 'bug screens' simply don't exist anywhere in the UK, but they didn't really get it.
We got a so-so review for having a house missing these so-called 'basic conveniences', despite our trying to explain that things are a bit different in the UK to America.
We were their first stop before they headed up to Edinburgh. I hope the rest of their trip didn't bring them too many surprises, but I have a suspicion they would have spent the whole two weeks bitching about how things are different to America.
They had some nerve!
[rebelmouse-image 18345149 is_animated_gif=I have a couple. One guest used my house to cheat on his wife and then proceeded to proposition me. The reason I quit hosting was because of a couple who stayed with me for $500 for a whole month. They had a two room suite with a bed and TV in one room and a futon, TV, computer, printer, small fridge and microwave in the other room a very very large walk in closet and an en suite bathroom, and they still took over my entire house. I ended up staying in my room if I wasn't at work. They ate all of their meals for the day from the breakfast food I provided so I was spending about $50 a week on breakfast food. I forgot to preset the coffee maker ONCE and the wife complained about it the entire day. She was unbearable, nothing was good enough for her. The next year even though my home wasn't listed on Airbnb, they had the nerve to email me and ask me to stay with me for 2 months at a much lower rate.
Come on, fight me!
[rebelmouse-image 18345151 is_animated_gif=Converted a rental house for Airbnb use. Bought furniture from Craig's List and Ikea, fixed it up, found a property manager for it. Turned on the listing.
Second booking was a 20-something woman with no previous reviews on airbnb. She booked the whole house for just one Saturday night. Our manager warns us "that sounds like she's planning a party". We respond that the listing makes it very clear that parties are not allowed. My girlfriend, who runs the business, writes to this woman twice and phones her once to remind her of the "no parties" rule. The woman keeps assuring us "Oh no, I would never do that. It's just me, my two friends, and my brother coming over for dinner."
Saturday comes along, we're staying in the house next door, and around 9:30 we hear music coming from our rental house. We look out the window and disco lights are running in the house. In the kitchen, a group of women are moving huge pots into the kitchen. A little later, we see them emptying ice, fruit juice, and several bottles of liquor into the pots.
My girlfriend decides enough is enough and goes over there to remind them of the "no parties" rule.
"Oh, no, we're not having a party, just my brother and his wife coming over for dinner." "Ok, then, where's the food? Who are all these people?". My girlfriend turns away about twenty people who show up at the door.
After breaking into tears and telling my girlfriend "You're ruining my life!", she agrees to leave, and the party is over. My girlfriend still had to turn away a couple of carloads of would-be partiers.
The night ends with two of the woman's friends pacing back and forth in front of the house screaming at my girlfriend. "You b*! You f***_b! Give us our deposit back! Come out and fight me, b! B! B_!".
Plants in the garden are uprooted. Pots are smashed. Neighbors start to gather. Police are called.
The next morning involves cleaning up, repotting plants, and writing letters of apology to the neighbors.
When your Airbnb visit involves a SWAT team...
[rebelmouse-image 18345153 is_animated_gif=Nothing bad about my guest, but the whole timing was horrible. This Korean Kid (probably 20-22yrs), spoke very little English and his first time in America, he arrives at my house about 8:00pm (Renting just a single bedroom for 4-days. I will add at the time my house was not in the best neighborhood). He arrives and I am not home yet, he lets himself in and probably reads the info sheet I left out... I get back about 9:00pm and the entire area around my house (4-block in all directions) is locked down by the police, they tell me I can't enter but I explain the scenario about a new International Kid living at my house, so they escort me through the alley to my house. I go inside the house and he is in his room kind of scared to come out. At this time the SWAT Team is in front of my house, News crews down the street and I find out the brother of the person across the street just beat his GF with a bat, then ran a couple blocks and broke into his brothers house to hide. He is a Felon with a Warrant and they believe he may be armed. The Korean Kid (Forgot his Name) asked me if this is what America is always like as we watch out the window. Anyways 2hrs later they kick in the door, throw flash-bangs inside and go in, 5-minutes later they carry him out Limp, handcuffed and ankle cuffed and lay him on the street while medics look at him. He was very frightened to do anything the whole time he stayed with me because he thought it is very dangerous to go outside!
Edit: sorry my punctuation and grammar are awful, I'm too lazy to correct it currently.
When things get a little wild!
[rebelmouse-image 18345154 is_animated_gif=I always offer to take my guests out on the town, I always host on the weekend. First off, my friends and I go pretty hard when we go out. This couple, maybe in their early 30s and very professional, had not planned on getting shitfaced, but after a couple drinks they decided to stay out late drinking with us. The next morning I woke up still drunk, walked out to my living room to find the man passed out on my rug, 10 ft from the bedroom, and he had pissed himself. I'm a super laid back guy, so I found it hilarious, the girlfriend, not so much. He was still out for the count, so we dragged him into the shower and turned it on. I made them breakfast and 30 minutes later when we went to check on him, he was still passed out but in the shower. She was so pissed off, then they left. I received a nice apology over the phone later in the week but I never got a new rug :(
Now I hear Big Lebowski jokes whenever I tell the story, which I love.
Taking over staying your welcome to the max!
[rebelmouse-image 18345155 is_animated_gif=I had an Airbnb guest try to steal a free night.
She originally booked for 1 night and wanted to stay longer - fine - she offers me cash, I say NO.
So she books another night on Airbnb.
Then she wants to book another, further night and also bring her son.
Ok, I say, please amend your booking through Airbnb.
So she does - adding her child and swapping the day to the day after leaving one night during her stay unpaid for.
So my calendar had a gap in it (after I approved the change without checking)
So on the afternoon of the night she has no longer paid for I go to her room to confront her...
She wants to do anything but pay it, she wants to open a dispute with Airbnb - blah blah - I said 'fine, but it's a live listing and someone might book it, so hurry up'
I doubt she bothered trying to contact Airbnb and after 2 hours of hearing nothing I submitted an alteration request to her myself.
At around 7pm, I asked her if she's seen the request. No, messages go to her husbands phone... whatever, and she still wants to call Airbnb.
I said, 'Ok please do that now'
Then she goes to floss her teeth.
At 9pm I finally confront her fiercely and demand that she accepts my request immediately for that night because I want to go to bed and she's not staying for free.
She told me that 'wasn't good for her' and I said 'You must do it anyway because according to Air - you aren't even HERE and that's not acceptable to ME.
Anyway, she did it... and I didn't hear another peep out of her and it's been a week since she checked out.
She also did not apologise.
It's all in the details
[rebelmouse-image 18345157 is_animated_gif=We offer a room on AirBnB, nothing fancy but it's a super convenient location and we've gone much further with setting up than the 'spare bed for the night' price would otherwise justify.
We had someone leave a bad review because there were "too many cushions on the bed". He was with us three or four nights and not once mentioned this to us despite us chiming in with the typical "Is everything OK?" Every other time we saw him.
To this day I feel that, if we had collectively put our minds together we could have probably worked out a solution for this most heinous of crimes. To make matters worse the professional photos of the room showed the exact same cushions on the bed in nearly two thirds of the shots. With the week or so booking notice he gave us I'm positively certain we could have hammered out a strategy for removing a couple of cushions prior to his arrival.
Not our worst guest by far, but definitely the most asinine.
I think you forgot something...
[rebelmouse-image 18345158 is_animated_gif=Rented from a guy on Airbnb. He was super nice, beautiful home, had tablets in every room. Apologized to us that, the tablets weren't to be used. Last renters stole ALL of his chargers among other things.
Feeling a little left out?
[rebelmouse-image 18345161 is_animated_gif=They argued with me that I was supposed to leave the room I was renting.
No slumber party for me I guess...
A true horror story!
[rebelmouse-image 18345055 is_animated_gif=Years ago I put my 1 bedroom apartment in San Francisco on Airbnb, and eventually I had a nightmare guest that covered my home with blood.
This guest was a young British businessman living in Dubai. He rented the apartment for a week while I was going to be on vacation in Russia. My dad met him and said that the guest arrived from the airport in a limo and wearing a nice suit. 5 days later I got an email from a detective for the SFPD trying to get in touch with me. I called and he told me this story:
The guest was partying in the Castro and took an unidentified lover back to the apartment one the evening. They were using meth and the guest was also on some meds for a cold... And he had a bad reaction. For some reason the guy took one of my kitchen knives and stabbed himself in the chest, aiming for his heart. He started bleeding profusely and the lover must have run off to get first aid because there were lots of bandage wrappers littered about. Meanwhile, the bleeding man freaked out and went everywhere in the apartment putting bloodly handprints, footprints, and drips on nearly EVERYTHING I owned in EVERY room. Like, on every couch cushion, fabric chair, a dozen towels, the bed, the rugs, the walls, the windows, in drawers, all over the bathroom, in the refrigerator, books, tables... Everywhere. He tried to climb out a window and blood streamed down the front of the buildings walls. He knocked on neighbor doors leaving bloody handprints but was terrified and ran away if he saw anyone answer. A jogger found him naked in a bush at 7am, half a mile away and he was picked up by an ambulance. The guy was in a coma for 3 days and the police eventually figured out that he was an Airbnb renter and tracked me down to see if I was alright since I wasn't answering my phone, as I was out of the country.
Anyways, my dad sent me a couple pictures that I passed on to AirBnB to open a claim. They were super responsive and immediatly sent me $3k to get a hazmat team in there and told me to tell them the cost of anything I had to throw away or replace. The total cost to me was $10k but it was all reimbursed. They made it really easy and, honestly, I'd still be hosting with them if I hadn't been violating my lease and threatened with eviction by my landlord. Fair enough.
A simple detail can change everything
[rebelmouse-image 18345162 is_animated_gif=My parents rent out their flat on air bnb. The people who rented from us were supposed to return the keys by putting them in our letter box. They put it in someone else's letterbox. When my parents went to check the flat, everything was stolen. And they probably moved everything stolen to a self storage unit since we checked the flats and couldn't find any of our stuff. And the ex-renters won't tell us what letterbox they put the keys in so I think they had something to do with it (e.g some one bribed them to put it in the wrong letterbox). Still angry about the lack of basic human decency but that's the real world.
Cultural differences
[rebelmouse-image 18345163 is_animated_gif=I had foreign guests that each time they dropped a deuce they would clog the toilet.It was, literally, twice the size the can could take. It was a challenge to let it go and it resulted in switching the toilet altogether.
When paranoia starts to creep in
[rebelmouse-image 18345164 is_animated_gif=Story where I was the guest in question:
My wife and I booked a single night in an Airbnb that was a 20 minute drive away from a coastal city we were visiting on a road trip. We met and spoke to the owner, and he was a lovely old man, who made it sound like he had made a ton of money before retiring and now was hosting Airbnb because it filled his otherwise lonely days. The house was a gorgeous old building, a former seminary, that was also sometimes rented out as a wedding venue. It had a grand front hall, a huge kitchen, a billiards room, a lounge...a study... are we were staying in the Clue Mansion?
The house was gorgeous, but the grounds were so expansive that you couldn't see the fence or any neighboring properties from the house. The countryside we drove through to get to the house was picturesque to the extreme, but the cell signal was spotty, often times dropping out entirely. It was the perfect location to get away from it all and enjoy some peace and quiet in a beautiful location, or to lure moronic tourists into an elaborate murder mansion. I sent a text to my parents with pictures of the house and a message that said, "Haha, staying in an Agatha Christie Mystery tonight, gonna get murdered lol!" I was only half kidding. At least now, after we disappeared, the cops would have proof we were at the house.
I woke up at 2am convinced that somebody was in the room with me. The doors didn't have locks, so I had piled our suitcases in front of them to prevent unwanted entry, but I couldn't shake that little voice in my head that kept saying, "Did you even check the fireplace for secret passages? Could you make it any easier for him? You're basically begging for a Saw-type situation at this point." About the fourth time I used the light from my phone's screen to check whether anyone was in the room, my wife woke up and convinced me I was being an idiot.
We had to leave early the next morning to make it to our next stop, so we didn't see our host again, but I still feel bad for being the guy that was so convinced that sweet old retiree was going to kill me in my sleep.
All the secrets are being spilled!
[rebelmouse-image 18345166 is_animated_gif=They found my hidden cameras and covered them... talk about a boring weekend
Who needs a proper set when you have Airbnb
[rebelmouse-image 18345170 is_animated_gif=He shot his tv show in my apartment, forced me to participate in it, and on top of that broke my toilet by flushing golf balls down it.
It's a teacher's job to leave a lasting impression and set a good example for their students.
With this in mind, particularly in this age of viral videos and social media, teachers have to be very careful of what they say during class hours.
Even so, there are very few teachers who haven't said something they've regretted when teaching a class.
Sometimes to control unruly students, other times when they've simply had enough.
Then too, sometimes teachers leave their students baffled and perplexed by what they say in their classroom, well aware of what they were saying.
Always making for a memorable story.
"What’s the wildest thing you’ve ever heard teacher say in class?"
And Anyone With Such Closed Minded Views Shouldn't Be Teaching...
"Had the Head of the Department in college claim in class that anyone who actually needs accommodations for mental health issues should not be in college to begin with."
"This was while we were discussing 'Death of a Salesman' and the discussion had veered over to unhealthy pressure and social standards for success."- RavensQueen502
Wait what?!
"My very well-respected Biology teacher in college spent almost an entire lecture telling us that Jamie Lee Curtis was a hermaphrodite."
"It seemed oddly personal to him."- Urbane_Cowboy
Sad On So Many Levels
"Not heard but my freshmen year high school teacher once pulled a bottle of Jack out of his desk and took a shot during class."
"He was dying so towards the end I think he just stopped caring."- Mangothefello
Can't Take The Heat, Then Stay Out Of The Classroom...
"High school science teacher told my class that a kilometre was longer than a mile."
"Refused to budge when refuted and kicked out several students for doing so."- SupersonicDebris13
"5th grade teacher: 'Mount Whitney in California is the tallest mountain in the world'."
"5th grade me blurts out: 'No it isn't, Mount Everest is."
"Whitney is not even the tallest mountain in the USA, which is Mount McKinley in Alaska'."
"I got in trouble for 'contradicting the teacher'."- gtmattz
It's Not Just Students Who Are Bullies...
"I had a teacher ridicule a fat kid about his lunch choices in front of the whole class."
"He ran out crying as she was making fat guy blimp gestures and telling him he was going to be huge as an adult."- SnooOwls5859
Some Dramatic License It Seems...
"I had a literature teacher who told the class that he didn't believe in dinosaurs, because the universe is only a couple thousand years old."
"The bones were put there by Satan."
"Thank f*ck he wasn't a science or history teacher."- AllBadAnswers
Everyone Deserves Nice Acomodations...
"My English teacher told us that he genuinely believes that the Rothchilds own a hotel for aliens in the Bermuda triangle."- TroyLear77
Well, Then...
"We had this kid in our 6th-grade class."
"Very dark skinned kid from Africa."
"His name was Tajak."
"Every now and then when we'd line up to go to another class or lunch and the lights would go out some of his friends would go 'where Tajak at?'"
"Anyway one day we had a sub and we we're lining up for lunch, the lights went out and there went the 'where Tajak at?' and the SUBSTITUTE TEACHER who was also black went 'Boy you darker than night'."
"6th grade was f*cking wild."- 11221mikew
Sad Premonitions
"Psych teacher in high school told us that 1 in 10 of the people were friends with in high school would be dead within 5 years of graduating."
"At the time I thought it was hyperbole, but it turns out he was being conservative."
"3 of the people in my high school friend group were dead by the time I was 22."- Reddit
Do They Really Need A Reason?
"'Now girls, don't you let them boys touch your breasts'."
"'It'll give you cancer'."- jondru
Maybe Should Have Checked With The Geography Teacher?
"A teacher in Elementary school claimed during history class that the Colosseum was in Greece, as an Italian kid I was very confused, this was in Mexico."- Spascucci
So Much For Instilling Hope...
"Didn't hear this personally, but read in a book about a guy who recalled his teacher skipping chapters in a textbook and saying 'You will not need to know this when you are down in the mines'."- futanari_kaisa
The mark of a good teacher is that students will take everything they hear from them with them for the rest of their lives.
Though, the less-than-wonderful teachers may also say things their students will never forget.
People Who've Had A Serious Illness Describe The Exact Moment They Knew Something Was Really Wrong
As a kid, I never raised alarm bells even when I started to feel sick. My mom got stressed easily and was busy taking care of my younger brother, so I never wanted to be a burden by making her take me to the doctor only to find out nothing was wrong.
However, in fifth grade, my ears started to hurt and I knew something was wrong. I told my mom, she took me to the doctor, and I found out I had an ear infection.
Now, an ear infection isn't serious at all, and it was easily treatable. Still, I learned something from that experience: no one knows your body better than you. You know if and when you're sick and how serious it is, even if you don't now exactly what is wrong.
Redditors can corroborate this. Many of them have experienced symptoms that told them they were sick in some way -- usually with a very serious illness -- and are ready to share those experiences.
It all started when Redditor thelearner18 asked:
"People who have had a serious disease (cancer, MS, organ failure, etc) when did you realize something was really wrong?"
A Lesson Learned
"Hust found out i have rectal cancer. 42 yrs old. multiple stools per day, not fully emptying, thin poop. so got a colonoscopy. bam! cancer. starting chemo next week. lesson learned for everyone....if your stools or stool schedule changes, go see a doctor"
– shawngee03
A Lucky Break
"I had been having a lot of pain in my midsection, and all around my torso for several weeks. I went to the doctor and it was dismissed as gynecological cramping (menopausal?). It remained. After several weeks (6-8) I couldn’t take it anymore. I went to emergency in the middle of the night. I got a CT scan that showed a large kidney stone. They also found a mass on my ovary. The kidney stone lead them to finding a rare ovarian cancer. If not for that stone, I wouldn’t have known about the cancer and might not have caught it in time. I have been in remission since September 2021."
– peachsqueeze66
Cause For Concern
"My kid, who was 14 at the time, kept throwing up in the morning and having weird headaches. Her doctor thought it was migraines. She went back a couple of times, but the doctor was not concerned. Then one day she complained of a whooshing noise in her ear. Went to the children’s hospital and found out it was a brain tumor near her cerabellum. She was in ICU for a month, but turned out it was non cancerous and it never grew back. She is doing great now."
– Evilelfqueen
"I heard a whooshing noise in my ear a few years ago I only really heard it at night when it was quiet it would sometimes switch ears now I basically never hear it. I'm pretty sure it was just pulsatile tinnitus but still scary."
– fallen-summer
It Was The Salt
"I have Cystic Fibrosis (terminal lung disease) and it was found out when I didn't sh*t for 3 days after I was born and then my mother gave me a kiss and said I tasted REALLY salty."
"Now I'm on a gene modification drug called Trikafta and this is some serious witch craft a** sh*t because I no longer feel sick to death and I basically feel like a normal person. It's f*cking wild!
"Went from 19% lung function to 87% in 3 months. I no longer cough my a** off or feel like I'm suffocating from mucus. Go science!"
– Sudden_Blueberry_477
A Funky Optic Nerve
"I was diagnosed with MS when I was 22 after having blurred vision in one eye after a ski trip. I went to the optometrist and they said I had a dry eye probably from not wearing goggles while snow boarding. So they gave me steroid drops. After a week it kept getting worse, so I went back and they told me my eye looked much better so they did a field of view test, which showed I couldn’t see anything out of the lower half of one eye. They sent me straight to the emergency room since nothing was wrong physically wrong with my eye. They did some tests and I was diagnosed with MS and ended up going completely blind in one eye. My vision eventually came back and I got on medication within a month so haven’t really had any symptoms or issues since thankfully. I’m only 29 now though."
– johnjohn9312
Caught It In Time
"This isn't me, but this happened to my best friend VERY recently. Like in the last couple of months."
"Was perfectly fine and healthy one day. Then the next he started feeling a little bit of pain in his kidney. He'd had kidney stones before, so he figured it was that again. Then he started peeing blood. He thought it was still part of the kidney stone thing so let it go for a couple days, but he was still peeing blood and the pain was getting worse."
"That's when he decided to go to the doctor. They did an X-ray and found a mass in his kidney and told him that based on where it was located they can't remove the mass, and they can't do a partial kidney removal, and it's about a 90% chance it's cancerous, but they wouldn't be able to do a biopsy without removing the kidney first. They did the whole insurance dance, but it went fast and within two weeks he was in surgery having his kidney removed."
"He's still recovering at home right now, but they got the biopsy results last week. It was indeed cancerous, but they caught it before it spread."
– SweetCosmicPope
Happily Ever After
"I couldn’t walk anymore with my crutch I had been using to get by. Had Been on Percocet for 8 months because of the extreme pain. Nobody was finding answers to my pain but I knew something was wrong, badly. After finally having an ultra sound on my hips at the age of 26 I found out I had to undergo a double hip replacement to walk again due to a serious rare disease. I was stage 4 Avascular Nercrosis. Took a year to recover from both. But Happier ending, I’m doing good now. However it was very very upsetting news to get over a phone call at 26."
– heartpathetic
It Really Sneaks Around
"My wife started getting numbness in her right arm. The breast cancer had spread to her right shoulder and the tumor was crushing the nerves. She has stage four breast cancer in her bones."
– zenos_dog
A Turn For The Worse
"For me, it started May 14, 2014. I went to work and was having a good morning. Then, at about 9:00 in the morning or so, I started to feel some lower abdominal pain. Not to be crude, but it felt like that cramp you get when you really need to go to the bathroom. I did so, but the pain didn't go away. It got worse. I started to feel chills, was sweating, and felt nauseated. My employer has a clinic on site, so I went there. After some poking and prodding, the nurse asked me if I wanted to go home or if I wanted to go to the emergency room. I decided to go home, and if the pain didn't subside, then I'd go to the emergency room. As I was saying that, though, I noticed that my pain had gotten a LOT worse. They always make you rate your pain on a scale of 0 to 10, with 0 being no pain at all and 10 being the worst pain you've ever felt. When I went into the clinic, I was mostly uncomfortable, maybe a high 2 going into a 3. On that very subjective scale, I was now a 6 or a 7."
"I changed my mind and decided to go straight to the nearest emergency room. My boss drove me, and by the time we got there about 15 minutes later, I was now a 10. This was the worst pain I'd ever felt. My previous definition of the worst pain I'd ever felt was when I broke 7 bones in my wrist, it was misdiagnosed as a sprain, and I had to have them rebroken 2 weeks later. The pain in my abdomen was now worse than that. The emergency room admitted me and put me in a wheelchair. They wheeled me to a room, I curled up on the bed they put me in, and passed out."
"At some point, a nurse came in and gave me some morphine. Great stuff. No pain at all anymore. A doctor came in and told me they suspected a kidney stone. He wanted me to get a CT scan to confirm it, and I agreed. An orderly wheeled me off to imaging. I got scanned without contrast and was wheeled back to the room. My wife had arrived while I was getting scanned. Shortly later, the doctor who told me he thought it was a kidney stone came into the room. With another doctor. And two nurses. They all crowd around me with solemn looks on their faces."
"The first doctor told me it was a kidney stone. A 2 to 3 mm kidney stone had been lodged in the ureter of my left kidney. That's the tube that goes from the kidney to the bladder. It passed into my bladder when they gave me the morphine, but they could see evidence of it on the CT scan. Then the other doctor said they were more concerned about the 6 cm mass they found on my right kidney. They had my attention."
"They did another CT scan, with contrast this time, and it was impossible to see anything but a tumor in the pictures they showed me. They made an appointment for me with a urologist for the next day, as well as an appointment in a few days time to get it biopsied. It was an after-hours appointment for the urologist, but he was nice enough to stay late to see me. He looked at the CT Scans and cancelled my appointment to get it biopsied. He said there was nothing else it could be but cancer, and the kidney would have to go."
"Two months later, I had the kidney and the tumor removed laparoscopically. I was incredibly lucky. They caught it in stage 1. The doctor said there were signs it was going to start moving soon. I have no idea how doctors can look at a softball sized lump of cancer and tell anything other than 'gross', but that's why they're the doctors and I'm not."
"My recovery was smooth, and I've been cancer-free for 9 years. I was incredibly blessed. I didn't have to deal with chemo, or radiation. While those can save your life, they are also horrible experiences with nasty side effects. I didn't have to deal with any of them. I was bracing myself to have to. They said it was a possibility. But I didn't. I have every respect for those not as fortunate as me, and wish them all the best in recovery."
– mnementh9999
Reason #5,622 To Start Exercising
"I started jogging again to try and get back into running shape. I kept noticing that just after a mile or so, I'd stop and get REALLY lightheaded. Kept thinking, "oh, I'm really out of shape" and kept going. Went in a few weeks later for my annual physical and doctor said "you ever been told you have a heart murmur?", no. Two months later I spent Christmas of 2017 in the ICU after having a section of my aorta cut out and a new valve put in. Surgeon said it was bad. Said it wouldn't have made it too much longer."
"Edit: for clarification, it was an aortic dissection."
– Itsawlinthereflexes
Slow And Steady
"My dad's friend went on a hike with a doctor who knew him and he was winded not far from the car. The doctor clocked it right away and told him to get his heart checked. He had 98% blockage in his heart arteries."
"He tells my dad so my dad gets the test to see how his arteries are doing and they found a massive aneurism on his aorta. He is getting it removed tomorrow. He had no symptoms but the doctors said if he had overdone it he would be dead before anyone would even know what was going on. Crazy how a random friend's hike may have saved his life."
– Pencilowner
It Takes A Village
"I never did, my teacher and parents did."
"I was seven, usually an active kid and my first grade teacher noticed that rather than running around at recess I sat down and took a nap. It happened a couple more times and after I fell asleep in class (totally out of character), she gave my parents a call, we had been visiting the doc fairly regularly cause I was also complaining of joint pain and frequent ear infections combined with the new symptoms and a new doc at the practice I was finally diagnosed with leukemia."
– greenmachine11235
Thank goodness for that teacher (and of course, the parents)!
When in the beginning stages of dating, it's important to know as much as humanly possible.
The element of surprise is no longer a fun aspect of romance.
Ask the small questions. Ask the hard questions.
Interrogate. Grill. Investigate.
Of course, you should do it with a subtle hand instead of an interrogation lamp.
The truth is all we have.
Ask everything.
Redditor RedditPenguin02 wanted to make a list of the best inquiries to make when starting a relationship, so they asked:
"What is a good question to ask before you start dating someone?"
From what I've learned in my past, always ask... "Are you into Buffy the Vampire Slayer? The TV show."
If it's a no, then it's a dealbreaker.
I Do
"Are you married?"
wrenchmonkey135
"I would ask that. If they said no, the next question was 'Would your wife agree?'"
"If they laughed, they were telling the truth. If they got indignant and pissed off that I thought they were lying…they were married."
"Worked every time."
Squibit314
We Lived!
"Do you clap when the plane lands?"
dont_u_know
"I swear people used to do this all the time when I was a kid (early 2000’s), and I don’t think I’ve heard anyone do it in 5+ years. I guess 9/11 really made people afraid of flying for about 10 years and then most folks decided they didn’t need to applaud when the plane landed safely?"
jmims98
Family Planning
"Do you want kids in the future? If one person wants kids and the other wants to stay child-free, then they are not compatible. And it is better to try dating someone else."
GoodAlicia
"It confuses me whenever some couples who disagree on this end up in a conundrum because one expected the other to change their mind. This is something I bring up early cause I see no future with someone who wants kids when I do not."
GoodAlicia
"You should always put childfree on your dating profile. It's not a small thing. Either you agree on it or not. If I had to date, I would put childfree on my profile too."
GoodAlicia
Carb it on...
"Do you like bread? That is the extent of my flirting skills."
HumpieDouglas
"Being German, bread is like a frickin' cultural phenomenon here, we have around 300 kinds of bread, there's a bread museum, every time I go on vacation I'm like yeah it's nice here but the bread ain't it yall, never as good as home lol. So yeah, valid question and the only answer to this is an enthusiastic yes."
Nayeliq1
Room Temperature
"What temperature do you set the thermostat to throughout the year?"
OneFingerIn
"Haha this one always gets me as someone who needs low temps - you can always put on more clothes, I can't peel my skin off to get cooler."
djdante
The thermostat is a dealbreaker for me.
It's gonna be 60. Love it or move on.
Discovery
"When was the last time you changed your mind about something?
"Opens a window to how they think."
youcantkillanidea
"If that was really early on in the dating I’d think it was a bit of a head-f**k question. I’d probably find that question a red flag, tone dependent, although I agree with the sentiment."
LivestockMarc
Personal Time
"Aside from major differences about finances, kids, politics, or religion, a big one is; What are your hobbies? If they don’t really have any, you may be the next hobby, which isn’t going to work unless you’ve got that kind of time. If the hobbies are time-consuming ones generally done with a SO."
"But you have no interest in them, that could be an issue as well. If only one of you likes camping, wanted to spend vacation lounging instead of exploring, didn’t like sports, etc either that partner is annoyed or the other feels like they don’t get to enjoy what they love."
Githard
Past Issues
"Ask them about their exes. If they think every single one of them is an a**hole... they are likely the real a**hole."
CantTakeMeSeriously
"I have mixed feelings about that - I've been in three previous relationships and all three were emotionally abusive towards me (one wasn't nearly as bad as the other two, though) in various ways. I know this is a common sentiment and it always makes me afraid that people won't believe me or something.
"I mean, I realize in your comment you said 'likely' and not '100% sure' and there's plenty of room for nuance."
phiore
Values
"I would try to take care of any dealbreakers. If I find out that she has different political values than I do, it's not going to work out in the long run, so I wouldn't bother. Same thing with other factors (religion, financial values, etc.). I would also ask how much cuddling she likes to engage in, as I prefer a lot."
SkullKrusher9000
Essentials
"When I was dating my three essential questions were always kids, sex, and money. If you're not on the same wavelength for any of those three things, just don't even try."
KhaosElement
TRUTH PLEASE!!
"So, how much personal debt do you have?"
"Source: the guy who dated a woman with huge debts and was asked to pay for everything and then some".
"After that, I'd go with, 'Have you ever been diagnosed with borderline, narcissistic, or histrionic personality disorders?"
extracensorypower
The questions are basic.
Just ask for the truth.
Do you have any good Qs to add to the queue? Let us know in the comments below.
As much as we always hop for our dating efforts to be worth it and for every relationship to work out, we all know that some relationships are not destined to work out.
But sometimes relationships end for totally valid reasons, and sometimes the reasons are painful, if not devastating.
Redditor overIorded asked:
"What went wrong with your last partner?"
History Repeating Itself
"He cheated on me. And I was glad because that was finally reason enough to allow myself to leave."
"Now I know somebody who's in the same situation. They're trapped. And she's such a gentle and fun person who's afraid to leave him because 'well, it's always been like this, I'm used to it,' and 'I deserve it.'"
"She wants to leave him, she knows she should leave him, but it's so hard to do it, and I know that feeling."
"I'm thinking I should give her my phone number like when the day comes you've had enough, I'll gladly come to help you move out from that s**thole."
- NmlsFool
Mental Health Struggles
"I'm lost in my own trauma and mental illness and he deserves better than anything I have to offer right now."
- Last-Celery7146
"I’ve been on the receiving end of this, and mildly said, it absolutely ruined me. Her trauma and mental problems were BAD, but I still wanted to be with them. So if you ask me, as long as they can give you the space and support you need, and want to be with you, let them make the decision."
- emilersen
"It's also fair and mature to care very much about someone but realize that you only have the emotional bandwidth to take care of yourself right now."
"I'm sure it was very hard for both of you to come to terms with that decision. I don't think it's that he deserves better, I think it's that your attention needs to be on guiding yourself through this thicket of trauma and mental illness before you can be someone else's partner. You can love each other very much but also acknowledge that you don't have the tools to spare for a relationship right now."
"I'm proud of you for focusing on your own mental health and someday, when you have more emotional stability and energy, I hope you find a wonderful partner."
- SpoonAtKnifeFight
Relationship Styles
"We disagreed on how many women he was allowed to date. I’m very strong on monogamy and have no interest in someone (in a supposedly committed relationship) that isn’t."
- Altrano
At Least There's That
"Her psychotic brother tried to kill me. Thankfully he has a Stormtrooper's aim..."
- Active-Plate7939
"Hate the attempted murder, love the 'Star Wars' reference."
- letmetellyousom
Childfree Living
"He wanted a big family, like, six kids, all-natural. Obviously, he wouldn't be birthing them. This was very important to him while I was pretty ambivalent about kids, and the further into my adulthood I've gotten, the more I've realized I just don't want to be pregnant."
"I broke it off so we could both get the lives we wanted. He was also quite a bit more conservative than me, and at the time closeted pansexual person, and some stuff he believed just didn't line up with what I believed. It hurt, but it was amicable."
"Now he has a wife and kids like he wanted, and I am happily partnered and childfree. It worked out for the best."
- Free-Government5162
Family Ties
"She hated that I had a healthy relationship with my family and was trying to find ways to sabotage it."
- Cobra-Serpentress
"Similar aspect to mine, she hated my sister and mother because she had a bad relationship with her sister and mother. She would get mad at me whenever I brought my family up."
- letmetellyousom
Quality Time
"My last boyfriend dumped me because I got mad that he was coming to Dallas after I hadn't seen him for two months, but didn't want to see me."
"He was going to meet up with some friends of his he hadn't seen in a few months. I told him that was fine with me, but I felt he should make time to see me too since we hadn't seen each other in two months and we were supposed to be a couple."
"He responded to my anger by ghosting me. That was two years ago."
- dallasmysterylover
Distracted with a Punch
"A girl contacted me about him talking to her. I asked him what was going on, and he sucker-punched me in the face."
- Brilliant-Victory128
Projecting Insecurities
"He cheated on me for all six years we were together and then accused me of cheating on him, even though I wasn't allowed to leave the house."
"I'm also pretty sure he slept with my sister-in-law when my brother and I went to pick up dinner."
- Affectionate_Egg1252
Children Come First
"He was and still is no father to his kids, has anger issues, and probably has other mental health issues. I tried for years to help him and help the relationship, but he wasn't having it. After seeing how my oldest suffered under him, I had to leave."
- rintan13
Poor Communication
"I communicated how I felt about many things in the relationship. He never communicated about anything."
- aj_oof0323
"Oh look, it's the last 14 years of my life..."
- empathetic111
"I'm guilty of this, and boy, do I regret not being able to open up about my feelings. It cost me my marriage. But now I'm trying to be more open and share my thoughts and feelings. Just wished I could've done this earlier than later."
Deserving Better
"I started drinking again and became a miserable a**hole due to my own depression and my s**tty job. As such, she didn't get the attention she deserved, and had to put up with my s**tty mood all the time... so she left. I don't blame her."
"So, it was me. I don't know if I trust myself with a relationship again, but aside from the shame of knowing I hurt someone who I loved, and loved me back, but I was too self-absorbed and selfish, I am trying to be a better human to everyone."
"And to my ex: You'll find someone again... someone better."
- cracksintheegg
Big Moves
"He wanted to move to Alaska to be with some girl he was 'friends' with before me."
- dont_be_trash
Alzheimer's Disease
"My ex's early-onset Alzheimers (at the age of 50) and the resulting violence, paranoia, and irrational thinking. I tried to honor my vows, but he was so far out there, I feared for my life."
- No_Transportation258
Different Definitions of Marriage
"She cheated on me after five years total together, the last one of which was while we were engaged. She cheated on me for months, all while I was planning the wedding, working part-time, and going to graduate school so I can support us comfortably in the future."
"I planned on giving her everything I could and sharing the rest of my life with her, and apparently she didn’t care."
- Mountaingoat1001
This conversation just goes to show that relationships can end for all kinds of reasons. Even in relationships where there is still a lot of love and committment, the relationship can still end, just like how the relationship can end suddenly because of a surprising and devastating realization.