Poking around for information about your family's heritage is as innocent as researching historical facts on Wikipedia.
Home DNA kits are even available for added convenience in the hopes that curious customers can discover more about their ancestry and therefore form stronger connections with relatives.
However, Bored Panda mentioned the pitfalls of digging too deep into the secrets of a family's past. Some family mysteries are better left buried.
Subreddit group TIFU featured a post by u/Snorkels721 about a botched Christmas because of an ancestry DNA kit.
"Earlier this year, AncestryDNA had a sale on their kit. I thought it would be a great gift idea so I bought 6 of them for Christmas presents. Today my family got together to exchange presents for our Christmas Eve tradition, and I gave my mom, dad, brother, and 2 sisters each a kit."
The mother became unnerved for fear that the kits contained "unsafe chemicals." Even after the kids assured her that the kits were safe, she remained anxious.
As a compromise, the mother then suggested that only one of her kids should take the test and resell the remaining kits to save money.
But the drama was just getting started.
Soon, the morning festivities dissolved to a Christmas fracas as the user discovered the possibility that his father might not be who he thought he was.
"Fast forward: Our parents have been fighting upstairs for the past hour, and we are downstairs trying to figure out who has a different dad."
"TL;DR I bought everyone in my family AncestryDNA kit for Christmas. My mom started freaking. Now our parents are fighting and my dad might not be my dad."
The user updated the post and the siblings still had not chose whether to partake in the test.
"Update: Thank you so much for all the love and support. My sisters, brother and I have not yet decided yet if we are going to take the test. No matter what the results are, we will still love each other, and our parents no matter what."
Fortunately, the situation turned positive. Despite initial concerns over taking the DNA test, the truth prevailed and Christmas cheer was restored to the family.
"Update 2: CHRISTMAS ISN'T RUINED! My FU actually turned into a Christmas miracle. Turns out my sisters father passed away shortly after she was born. A good friend of my moms was able to help her through the darkest time in her life, and they went on to fall in love and create the rest of our family. They never told us because of how hard it was for my mom."
"Last night she was strong enough to share stories and photos with us for the first time, and it truly brought us even closer together as a family. This is a Christmas we will never forget. And yes, we are all excited to get our test results. Merry Christmas everyone!"
The thread became engaging with other users sharing their own unique family histories; some good, and some not so good.
"I was adopted by my grandparents and didn't know until I was older. The person I grew up with as an older sister was actually my biological mother. I think the same thing happened to Jack Nicholson." - hisnameisanthony
A new secret relative was uncovered.
"My uncle took one of those tests and had a few people show up as distant relatives, like less than 15% match (we're all 100% positive he has a different father than the other 4 siblings)."
"Well, then my dad takes the test, it returns saying that someone his brother (my uncle) matched with also matches him, but it's like a 30% match."
"Eventually this lady messages my dad and after talking they figure out she must be a distant cousin somehow."
"Dad wants to get more info from my grandma (his mother) who, upon mentioning the DNA tests and this lady's name, my grandma goes 'Oh her? Yeah I already know about her.'"
"what?"
"My sweet, sweet grandmother then explains to my father how, when she was about 12, her mother had an affair, got pregnant, somehow hid it from everyone but her and then gave the baby to her neighbors down the street."
"Turns out I have a secret great-aunt." - NeonSwank
This user's experience had the reverse effect that revealed a father's truth about his daughter.
"I had the opposite thing happen. I did 23 & Me and found out that my first cousins, who I'm not close with (they were estranged for a long time from my dad's brother), also had done 23 & Me because it matched us as first cousins."
"I told my dad this and he was like wait, it said that Karen is your first cousin? And I was like yeah? And he asked to see it and then he said, I have to call my brother."
"Turned out that my uncle has been convinced for decades that his ex-wife had an affair and his youngest daughter, Karen, wasn't really his."
"Turns out she has been this whole time." - ebroms
Someone who works for AncestryDNA shared their insight.
"I work at AncestryDNA. This actually happens all the time."
"Edit: Wow! Didn't expect this much attention! I will gladly do an AMA here soon, as I finish out the holidays. Merry Christmas!" – Secstornado
Unfortunately, things do not always end favorably – a reminder that ignorance is bliss.
"This actually just happened to some non-direct relatives of mine, essentially my uncle's in-laws."
"His brother-in-law and the wife have three kids who all did 23AndMe, and found out the oldest girl is not his daughter, but some other guy that his wife slept with early on in their marriage, got pregnant and thought she'd be able to hide it forever (the daughters like 32 now so they didn't have at home DNA tests back then and she probably never foresaw that being a thing)."
"Long story short we kind of always knew because she didn't look like anyone else in that family but when they found out they all flipped on their mom about it and now the parents are getting divorced."
"Merry f***ing Christmas." – thundergun661
Sometimes, this is code for "don't go looking around where you should."
"Shit, now I'm remembering how my mom didn't want me to get a 23 and me kit last Christmas. Her reasoning was that it was a waste of 99 dollars and I could just average the results from her and my father's exams..." – ohboycookies
These comments pretty much summed up the fact that giving fruitcake is the lesser of two evils.
"Feliz Not-Your-Dad."
– Barjack521
"People who were just banging away in the 80s and 90s didn't see this one coming. Damn."
– NixonCarmichael
There is a time and a place for things, and unearthing skeletons from the proverbial closet on Christmas is definitely not one of them.
Redditor Deviant55 wanted to talk about physical intimacy in relationships, so they asked:
"How important is sex to you in a relationship? Could you be with someone you love even if sex was off the table indefinitely?"
I learned how much sex matters in my last relationship.
Once I wasn't interested, it kind of killed everything.
Forever
GIF by moodmanGiphy"When my wife of 30+ years became too ill for sex to be even remotely interesting for her, I certainly did not end the relationship. I loved her and I took care of her until she died. No other course even occurred to me."
fvillion
Frustration
"When I met my wife we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. This lasted a few years. I was in my mid-twenties when we married. She developed a chronic medical issue. I’ve gone twenty years being sexually frustrated. There are stages and phases to this."
"What I came to realize is that I love my wife. Yes, sex is important in our relationship. But I would rather have her in my life with no sex than have sex without her."
"The thing is, I love her. She can’t help her situation. I can’t help it. One deals with it. Marriage is more than sex. It is building a life and memories, raising a family, and loving each other regardless of the challenges life throws our way. But sex is very important. It helps keep the closeness and the emotional bond. But it isn’t the only thing that does that."
QuietusNoctis
I Love Her
"It is complicated. I am in a near-sexless marriage. The wife needs antidepressants to function. And it kills her libido. So usually it is four to six times a year. My libido rages. And yeah, it sucks. I dream of more sex."
"But I love the chick. She loves me to the moon and back. I’m not willing to sacrifice her love so I can try dating again. Divorce rates these days? And I found a woman who more than tolerates me, she loves me. I’ll stay. And not to be crude but yeah I masturbate. A lot. She doesn’t begrudge me that. Occasionally she even encourages it."
"She went off her meds for a while. And man did we do it. But she was a mess. I need her healthy more than I need a shag. We travel together. We enjoy each other’s company. We actually like each other. I could claim that it is hell, but I choose to see all of the good I am blessed with."
painthawg_goose
Heartless
"Quite important. But I think it depends on where you are in the relationship. I've been married for 10 years. I have kids. If my wife suddenly couldn't have sex with me for some reason -- illness or injury or something -- I'm not divorcing her over it. That's heartless."
"Now, if she just decided we weren't ever having sex again because she didn't feel like it, that'd be different. Or if I was just starting to date someone and they told me they'd never have sex, I probably just wouldn't keep pursuing the relationship. Plenty of people out there who will."
Arkhangelzk
Necessity
"It depends on the circumstances. I LOVE doing it with my man but I love his heart and soul more. If we had to stop having sex for medical reasons or something I’d definitely stay with him and stay faithful. If I was single, I think it’s unlikely I’d start a new relationship knowing it would be sex free."
Fit_Technology8240
Heart and soul is just as necessary and hot and sweaty.
At least a lot of people recognize that.
Percentages
Giphy"Sex life is 10% of a relationship when it’s good and 90% of a relationship when it’s bad."
jakovichontwitch
"The other way I've heard it put is that sex is like the bathroom in your house. It's not the only reason you bought the house, but if it's not working it's a big problem."
molten_dragon
Age Related
"50-year-old here married for 27 years. It’s not important. It was important when we were younger but honestly, if sex wasn’t possible I would still love my wife and really nothing about our day would really change."
Kantforall
"I’ve been reading these comments and wishing that everyone’s age was flared on their post because I sense that there are a lot of under-60-year-olds. I am older than my wife but she is starting menopause and I can see the writing on the wall. Not super thrilled but I love her completely and understand. The real intimacy is in how we still (and will always) want to sleep touching each other and waking up next to each other."
caffeinated-hijinx
Kiss Me
"I honestly considered this before. I absolutely adored this guy. It was like a child relationship; we'd kiss and cuddle and hold hands and things, but he wouldn't have sex with me, nor would he commit properly. Any time we came close to sex, he'd go soft or back off."
"I couldn't understand it, wondered if I could keep doing that. My sex drive was wild. Why kiss and the rest but not sex?"
"Then one day he told me he was in love with me and asked me out properly. I said yes there and then, had a wonderful day with him, but when I went home, I was left questioning if I could possibly live without sex. I decided that yeah, I loved him but it would be tough."
"We had sex the next day. So yes, I think I probably could."
Adventurous_Train_48
Touchy/affectionate...
"It's very important. I'm a very affectionate and physical person and touch/caresses and anything physical is one of my love languages. I couldn't function with someone who is the opposite of me or who's uncomfortable with how I am. I already was in a relationship with someone who wasn't that touchy/affectionate and it created frustration for both of us."
Borboleta77
Don't Look at Me
"I am in a sexless relationship. He has erectile dysfunction and I really don't like sex in general. I'm really uncomfortable naked or even vulnerable. I'm shy around him despite the relationship being 10 years nearly, I'm even shy around my family and friends. Everything about sex makes me feel so embarrassed, and I feel nothing but negative feelings when I used to be sexually active. Not through choice of partner, I just hate that sort of attention."
NucularOrchid
Definitive!
Shake Handshake GIF by OriginalsGiphy"10/10. Sexual incompatibility is a deal breaker!"
oeeiae
Sex is important but not everything.
Until it is everything if it becomes an issue.
Good luck couples. Open and honest communication is key.